Howdy. You know it's always fun whenever we have some of these passages to preach
from. Now back whenever I was an associate and I had a senior pastor it always
seemed funny that the senior pastor would conveniently schedule me to preach on
the days whenever we had passages like Ephesians from today. In fact earlier we
had the first service and the lady that was reading it she looks at it and
she looks at me and says are you really gonna make me read this and I'm like I
didn't write it so you know just saying. But you know it is always fun whenever
you get to come to passages that are a bit difficult to wrestle with and one of
the things that we look at is this classic debate. This question of do
wives submit to their husbands. Now I have to admit is that I've spent a little
bit of time looking at all these you know different viewpoints and discussions
about it and you end up having those who would make commentaries that span to
anywhere from yes because you know men are clearly you know you'll better at
this role than women are. All the way to no there's no such thing as submit it
wasn't even in the original book and being the head doesn't actually mean
leadership and everything in between even though I would say that the best
commentary I came across was my big fat Greek wedding. The man is the head but the
woman is the neck and she can make the head face whatever she wants. Which I
think is theologically very true. And with it is to realize that there's a lot
of discussions that come up when looking at this is why does Paul end up
focusing in this regard. But we have to remember that historically this wasn't
even a thing of a debate back then but rather it was discussing things that
were just an accepted part of their society. So in seeing something that
people just generally accepted they were able to use it as an illustration. And so
in seeing it is that when we're looking at this question of is it or is it not
the only way that things have to be is that that wasn't even really the
question back then. You see at that time having the husband be the head of the
household it was just a stated reality that was there. It was very different
from our world today where we find people raising children in a single parent
home or times whenever they have to get away from something that may be abusive
or times whenever the world doesn't work the way that we might have thought it
would. But we also have to realize the difference between describing and
prescribing because Paul describing what he sees around him that's very
different from saying I have to prescribe this that this is always the way it
has to always be. That distinction is something that we sometimes just glaze
over. But to realize that honestly the argument one way or the other doesn't
even find its place in here but rather is seeing why it is that Paul wants to use
this as an illustration in the first place. You see with it is what we're
going to end up seeing is a lot of love and respect whatever role you find
yourself in. And that's what we're going to end up seeing back and forth because
the main idea here is to live the life that God has given you in whatever
context you find yourself. So it's more of the describing rather than the
prescribing. Telling you what situation is there versus this is the way it
always has to be. Now with that is we also have to realize yeah it starts off
with this one particular verse but it also goes into several other
relationships as well. There are several relationships that are listed in the
letter to the Ephesians. It's not just a question of wives and husbands and how
you relate to one another. But it's also talking about children and parents. It's
also talking about bond servants and their masters. But what we have to do is
realize that not only this is not an exhaustive list this is not something
that covers every single relationship you may come across. But also to realize
that Paul is actually groundbreaking in that he doesn't just leave it at why
you submit to your husbands at a time when people would have generally said
yes absolutely. But what does he go and do after? Husbands love your wives. That
was not something that people automatically knew or assumed or the
idea that parents are supposed to actually care about their children. At a
time whenever it was just you're the child you have to do whatever your
parents says to tell the parents that they're not supposed to end up driving
their children to a fence. That was new. Or to be able to get to the idea of you
have a bond servant that has to listen to their master but now telling the master
not to abuse their bond servant this was groundbreaking. The idea that everybody
is responsible for whatever role they find themselves in. See that's the thing
about this is that it even goes even further. You see oftentimes we may even
find ourselves as the employee with the boss and we're trying to figure out what
am I supposed to do there. The times whenever we may have some job that we
don't really care that much about but we're still supposed to live it out to
the best of our ability but that boss is not supposed to harm us or treat us
poorly. Or you might have a teacher dealing with the students there. And I
still remember that back whenever I was teaching sixth graders and how many times
that I'd be over there just saying their fractions it is not like hot lava it
will not burn you if you try to do these fractions. And yet the children would be
over there restless and everything. So could I have just said you have to do it
because I'm the teacher. Yeah absolutely and let's see how well that works. Or
instead is to take the first two minutes and say okay you have two minutes
teach me something and they decide they're going to try to teach me how to
whip and nay nay at the beginning of class which I'm still not very good at
okay. I mean I can do a couple different dance moves but there are a few that I
just leave to the imagination. Or even things like church members and pastors
is to be able to see the opportunity of how we need to be able to work together
but the pastor still has to realize that he's responsible for the people there.
And that this isn't just I'm going to boss you around and tell you what to do
but rather is that the job is to care for and love each and every one. Times
whenever I've heard of a pastor saying I want a sign that's as tall as the
nearby billboard and then when he doesn't get it any up accusing people in
the city of being demonic in some way. And instead stepping back and saying how
is it to be humble and to take leadership as a responsibility not just a
privilege. And with that is to see this idea of how do we see that wherever we're
at we're meant to live it out as on to God. See wherever we find ourselves
whatever the situation there's almost always going to be somebody that we
have to listen to. There's almost always somebody that we're supposed to somehow
submit to in some way. It changes all the time constantly fluctuating and
sometimes we're the ones who have to let somebody else lead and sometimes we're
the ones who are supposed to lead ourselves. But when we focus we're
supposed to focus on respecting our relationships under God. In other words
the goal is not the role itself but rather what we're doing with that role.
What was the purpose in the first place. So if a person is a part of a family then
to say how do we live and breathe and work well together within that family.
And if that you are the head of that family is also say yes but it's not just
for me to tell everyone what to do but rather that my decisions have to be to
love and to care for them. Or when you end up seeing a child and parents how
often is it that the child may decide hey I would like to get my way today and
so they will go up to the parent and say I would really like to go hang out with
my friends and one parent may say no you are supposed to stay home and clean your
room and then what do they do. Go to the other parents. You know it sounds like a
great idea. Oh yeah absolutely that would be wonderful and then they let the
parents end up dealing with that part. But rather is to pause and say no we're
meant to work together and that sometimes looking at the child and being
able to say are you respecting what we've decided. Although truth be told many of
our frustrations and struggles even happen into adulthood and being able to
say I don't do every single thing my parents say but do I honor them. Do I
care about what they say. Do I listen and learn from their wisdom but also the
same thing with parents of even adult children. Are you helping them and
encouraging them or are you just saying how in the world did my child ever get
like this. And it's important to note that there have been times whenever the
bond servant and master versus rebues terribly to be able to support things
like slavery and the like. But you got to remember is that this bond servant role
was something that people went into voluntarily. It was saying I need a job
I need a place to live I need some safe space to be a part of society or I need
to save up before I can own my own property. And this was somebody saying
okay but you've got to work for me for seven years whatever the amount may be.
And then you can have your freedom. And to be able to say that even then it was
supposed to be with love and compassion and safety. See all these different roles
are meant to have a purpose but oftentimes what do we end up doing. We end
up getting frustrated at the other person. You're not living up to your part.
You're not doing your part in this. Like there have been times whatever I've been
the employee and I've had the boss and I'm over there so frustrated because
there was trying to apply for a new position only to find out that the boss
had blacklisted me with all the other managers and told them that I was no
good at my job because he didn't want me to leave his team. And then when finally
finding a way to escape and then finding out what is it that I can do now. Is my
task now just to try to make a point of it to that old boss? Or is my job to do
the best that I can do right here right now and when the opportunity comes to do
my best in that new role as well. I'm not gonna lie. There are times whenever I've
just wanted to be frustrated and gripe and complain. I am so upset at my boss.
And yet then there are times whenever I've had to be the boss. And we've been
in those positions where now we just want them to just stop making everything
difficult just fall in line just do what you're supposed to do. Instead of
slowing down and saying maybe there's reasons why they're struggling in this
regard. Now we could have focused like spread out all of the time on all these
different relationships. The children and the servants. But we left it at the
focus on the husband and wives. Because while it may feel like the most
difficult one to try to tackle. It's also the one that in our world we're
struggling with so much. We are struggling as a society with the concept of what
marriage is even meant to be. And the times whenever we are frustrated with
that spouse. And it is so easy to try to find ways of kind of undercutting what
they said or did. Going behind their back complaining constantly or even just
walking away. Or even more than that. How many times do we hear the other person
doing that. And they were just angry at them. Instead of pausing to say was there
something I did that brought this out. Because in reality we are all flawed. We
are all sinful. We are all in positions where we have not done things to the best
of our ability. We have not been the best student. We have not been the best
teacher. We have not been the best employee. We have not been the best
boss. We have not been the best child. We have not been the best parent. We have
not been the best husband we have not been the best life. And in reality is
that when we spend so much time trying to figure out what
the other person did. Then we end up messing out on the lesson that God
wants us to see for ourselves?
Because can we determine anything that anybody else does?
Absolutely not.
The only person we can change is ourselves.
And that's hard.
Because as Paul points out, it is so easy to offend
and to hurt one another.
But do we start with ourselves?
Because then in our passage, what does it bring us back to?
In Ephesians, it finally brings it back together
and brings everyone into the same place.
Submit to one another.
Because whatever role you may be in,
are you asking yourself the question,
is what I'm doing loving that person the way God wants me to?
Because that's ultimately where Paul
goes with all of these relationships.
Every relationship testifies to Christ and the Church.
Now, we could look and we can say, well, Christ is the head.
So that's just focusing on the idea
that we're always supposed to follow what Christ says.
So whatever somebody else says, I'm just supposed to follow it.
Remember, Christ as the head is also the example.
When Christ is here as the head, how does He lead?
Does He lead with dominating people and making
His presence known and making sure that everybody just shut up
and let Him do His thing?
Or did He wash feet?
Did He feed the hungry?
Did He listen to children that everybody else
wanted to push away?
Did He care for the elderly that nobody else cared for?
Did He put everything on the line and give His own life
for you?
And that's the hard part about this,
because did everybody appreciate Him?
No.
And you will not always be appreciated.
You may not always be given respect for doing the job
that you do, or you may not always be given the authority
when you're supposed to have it.
You may be trying so hard to make sure that you care for people
and they completely ignore it, or you may end up doing
everything you were told and they completely ignore you.
But ultimately, who is the one who truly sees you
in what you do?
And that's where we find ourselves.
Are we listening to the true head, Jesus?
Not just when we think of the church and everything
that we teach here, but in everything in our lives.
Are we slowing down with whatever we see?
And instead of saying, how do I jump ship?
How do I run away?
Or how do I just avoid looking at myself?
And instead saying, no, let me go to that mirror.
And let me pause and say, God, what
do you need me to see about myself today?
And how do you want me to live it out?
Because the only way that we can make a difference in anything
in this world is by living out whatever task and role we have
to the best of our ability.
Because if we can't respect those who are over us,
then who's going to listen to us share with them
that Christ is the head of the church?
If we don't care for the people that we're supposed to be over,
then how are we going to believe that God loves his church?
If we don't take the time to submit to each other
with service and love and sacrifice,
then how is anybody going to believe
that Christ was willing to sacrifice of himself for us?
It's a big ask.
And whether it's tomorrow or the next week or whenever,
and you're going to go back to that,
and you're going to say, this is hard.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
But it's also, this is a chance to show God's love in how
I respond to you, to them, and to everybody.
And it will hurt, and it will be hard.
But it is also the way of God.
So ultimately, if we truly want to change this world,
to see God and to know Him, we have to start with us.
And wherever we find ourselves and whatever that may mean.
But fortunately, we don't have to do it alone.
And we can be there for each other and support each other
and love one another, even as we submit to loving and sacrificing
whatever that may mean.
So thank you for tackling a difficult passage with me
this morning.
But also, thanks be to God, because He's
the one who gave up everything for us first
before we do anything ourselves.
Thanks be to God.