1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Howdy. You know it's always fun whenever we have some of these passages to preach

2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,760
from. Now back whenever I was an associate and I had a senior pastor it always

3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,320
seemed funny that the senior pastor would conveniently schedule me to preach on

4
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:21,480
the days whenever we had passages like Ephesians from today. In fact earlier we

5
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,920
had the first service and the lady that was reading it she looks at it and

6
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,800
she looks at me and says are you really gonna make me read this and I'm like I

7
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:36,880
didn't write it so you know just saying. But you know it is always fun whenever

8
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:42,440
you get to come to passages that are a bit difficult to wrestle with and one of

9
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,960
the things that we look at is this classic debate. This question of do

10
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:54,560
wives submit to their husbands. Now I have to admit is that I've spent a little

11
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,320
bit of time looking at all these you know different viewpoints and discussions

12
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:04,000
about it and you end up having those who would make commentaries that span to

13
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:10,080
anywhere from yes because you know men are clearly you know you'll better at

14
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:15,560
this role than women are. All the way to no there's no such thing as submit it

15
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,480
wasn't even in the original book and being the head doesn't actually mean

16
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:25,160
leadership and everything in between even though I would say that the best

17
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:31,800
commentary I came across was my big fat Greek wedding. The man is the head but the

18
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:38,680
woman is the neck and she can make the head face whatever she wants. Which I

19
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:44,960
think is theologically very true. And with it is to realize that there's a lot

20
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:51,240
of discussions that come up when looking at this is why does Paul end up

21
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:56,600
focusing in this regard. But we have to remember that historically this wasn't

22
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:02,360
even a thing of a debate back then but rather it was discussing things that

23
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:07,000
were just an accepted part of their society. So in seeing something that

24
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:13,040
people just generally accepted they were able to use it as an illustration. And so

25
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:18,080
in seeing it is that when we're looking at this question of is it or is it not

26
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:22,080
the only way that things have to be is that that wasn't even really the

27
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:29,240
question back then. You see at that time having the husband be the head of the

28
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,640
household it was just a stated reality that was there. It was very different

29
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:39,600
from our world today where we find people raising children in a single parent

30
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,600
home or times whenever they have to get away from something that may be abusive

31
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,600
or times whenever the world doesn't work the way that we might have thought it

32
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,920
would. But we also have to realize the difference between describing and

33
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:58,600
prescribing because Paul describing what he sees around him that's very

34
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:03,400
different from saying I have to prescribe this that this is always the way it

35
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:09,880
has to always be. That distinction is something that we sometimes just glaze

36
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:16,480
over. But to realize that honestly the argument one way or the other doesn't

37
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:22,680
even find its place in here but rather is seeing why it is that Paul wants to use

38
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:27,400
this as an illustration in the first place. You see with it is what we're

39
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:34,880
going to end up seeing is a lot of love and respect whatever role you find

40
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,880
yourself in. And that's what we're going to end up seeing back and forth because

41
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:45,840
the main idea here is to live the life that God has given you in whatever

42
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:52,480
context you find yourself. So it's more of the describing rather than the

43
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:58,720
prescribing. Telling you what situation is there versus this is the way it

44
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:05,240
always has to be. Now with that is we also have to realize yeah it starts off

45
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,200
with this one particular verse but it also goes into several other

46
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:14,280
relationships as well. There are several relationships that are listed in the

47
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:19,840
letter to the Ephesians. It's not just a question of wives and husbands and how

48
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:25,480
you relate to one another. But it's also talking about children and parents. It's

49
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:30,200
also talking about bond servants and their masters. But what we have to do is

50
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:35,920
realize that not only this is not an exhaustive list this is not something

51
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:40,640
that covers every single relationship you may come across. But also to realize

52
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:48,120
that Paul is actually groundbreaking in that he doesn't just leave it at why

53
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,360
you submit to your husbands at a time when people would have generally said

54
00:04:52,360 --> 00:05:01,040
yes absolutely. But what does he go and do after? Husbands love your wives. That

55
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:06,640
was not something that people automatically knew or assumed or the

56
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:12,200
idea that parents are supposed to actually care about their children. At a

57
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,280
time whenever it was just you're the child you have to do whatever your

58
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:19,600
parents says to tell the parents that they're not supposed to end up driving

59
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:26,600
their children to a fence. That was new. Or to be able to get to the idea of you

60
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,160
have a bond servant that has to listen to their master but now telling the master

61
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:37,240
not to abuse their bond servant this was groundbreaking. The idea that everybody

62
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:43,800
is responsible for whatever role they find themselves in. See that's the thing

63
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:50,000
about this is that it even goes even further. You see oftentimes we may even

64
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:55,680
find ourselves as the employee with the boss and we're trying to figure out what

65
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,840
am I supposed to do there. The times whenever we may have some job that we

66
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:04,920
don't really care that much about but we're still supposed to live it out to

67
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:09,440
the best of our ability but that boss is not supposed to harm us or treat us

68
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:15,880
poorly. Or you might have a teacher dealing with the students there. And I

69
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:20,360
still remember that back whenever I was teaching sixth graders and how many times

70
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:26,320
that I'd be over there just saying their fractions it is not like hot lava it

71
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:31,960
will not burn you if you try to do these fractions. And yet the children would be

72
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:37,160
over there restless and everything. So could I have just said you have to do it

73
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:42,240
because I'm the teacher. Yeah absolutely and let's see how well that works. Or

74
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:47,400
instead is to take the first two minutes and say okay you have two minutes

75
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,560
teach me something and they decide they're going to try to teach me how to

76
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,400
whip and nay nay at the beginning of class which I'm still not very good at

77
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,680
okay. I mean I can do a couple different dance moves but there are a few that I

78
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:08,040
just leave to the imagination. Or even things like church members and pastors

79
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:13,520
is to be able to see the opportunity of how we need to be able to work together

80
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:19,440
but the pastor still has to realize that he's responsible for the people there.

81
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,960
And that this isn't just I'm going to boss you around and tell you what to do

82
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:30,920
but rather is that the job is to care for and love each and every one. Times

83
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:37,360
whenever I've heard of a pastor saying I want a sign that's as tall as the

84
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:43,200
nearby billboard and then when he doesn't get it any up accusing people in

85
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:50,160
the city of being demonic in some way. And instead stepping back and saying how

86
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:56,880
is it to be humble and to take leadership as a responsibility not just a

87
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:04,600
privilege. And with that is to see this idea of how do we see that wherever we're

88
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:12,440
at we're meant to live it out as on to God. See wherever we find ourselves

89
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:17,400
whatever the situation there's almost always going to be somebody that we

90
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,440
have to listen to. There's almost always somebody that we're supposed to somehow

91
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:28,280
submit to in some way. It changes all the time constantly fluctuating and

92
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,160
sometimes we're the ones who have to let somebody else lead and sometimes we're

93
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:38,160
the ones who are supposed to lead ourselves. But when we focus we're

94
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:43,840
supposed to focus on respecting our relationships under God. In other words

95
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:49,680
the goal is not the role itself but rather what we're doing with that role.

96
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:56,520
What was the purpose in the first place. So if a person is a part of a family then

97
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:01,400
to say how do we live and breathe and work well together within that family.

98
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:06,680
And if that you are the head of that family is also say yes but it's not just

99
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,480
for me to tell everyone what to do but rather that my decisions have to be to

100
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:17,120
love and to care for them. Or when you end up seeing a child and parents how

101
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:22,640
often is it that the child may decide hey I would like to get my way today and

102
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,080
so they will go up to the parent and say I would really like to go hang out with

103
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:32,680
my friends and one parent may say no you are supposed to stay home and clean your

104
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:37,920
room and then what do they do. Go to the other parents. You know it sounds like a

105
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:43,320
great idea. Oh yeah absolutely that would be wonderful and then they let the

106
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:49,080
parents end up dealing with that part. But rather is to pause and say no we're

107
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:54,280
meant to work together and that sometimes looking at the child and being

108
00:09:54,280 --> 00:10:01,880
able to say are you respecting what we've decided. Although truth be told many of

109
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,240
our frustrations and struggles even happen into adulthood and being able to

110
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:12,080
say I don't do every single thing my parents say but do I honor them. Do I

111
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:17,160
care about what they say. Do I listen and learn from their wisdom but also the

112
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:21,960
same thing with parents of even adult children. Are you helping them and

113
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:26,720
encouraging them or are you just saying how in the world did my child ever get

114
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:34,880
like this. And it's important to note that there have been times whenever the

115
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:41,160
bond servant and master versus rebues terribly to be able to support things

116
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:47,160
like slavery and the like. But you got to remember is that this bond servant role

117
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:51,640
was something that people went into voluntarily. It was saying I need a job

118
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,600
I need a place to live I need some safe space to be a part of society or I need

119
00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,920
to save up before I can own my own property. And this was somebody saying

120
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:05,960
okay but you've got to work for me for seven years whatever the amount may be.

121
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:14,280
And then you can have your freedom. And to be able to say that even then it was

122
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:20,640
supposed to be with love and compassion and safety. See all these different roles

123
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:27,240
are meant to have a purpose but oftentimes what do we end up doing. We end

124
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:33,680
up getting frustrated at the other person. You're not living up to your part.

125
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:38,840
You're not doing your part in this. Like there have been times whatever I've been

126
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:44,840
the employee and I've had the boss and I'm over there so frustrated because

127
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:50,360
there was trying to apply for a new position only to find out that the boss

128
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,840
had blacklisted me with all the other managers and told them that I was no

129
00:11:54,840 --> 00:12:01,400
good at my job because he didn't want me to leave his team. And then when finally

130
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:08,960
finding a way to escape and then finding out what is it that I can do now. Is my

131
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:16,240
task now just to try to make a point of it to that old boss? Or is my job to do

132
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:21,000
the best that I can do right here right now and when the opportunity comes to do

133
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:27,720
my best in that new role as well. I'm not gonna lie. There are times whenever I've

134
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:33,160
just wanted to be frustrated and gripe and complain. I am so upset at my boss.

135
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:40,280
And yet then there are times whenever I've had to be the boss. And we've been

136
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:45,520
in those positions where now we just want them to just stop making everything

137
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:50,120
difficult just fall in line just do what you're supposed to do. Instead of

138
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:54,240
slowing down and saying maybe there's reasons why they're struggling in this

139
00:12:54,240 --> 00:13:02,800
regard. Now we could have focused like spread out all of the time on all these

140
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,080
different relationships. The children and the servants. But we left it at the

141
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:13,160
focus on the husband and wives. Because while it may feel like the most

142
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:19,520
difficult one to try to tackle. It's also the one that in our world we're

143
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:25,120
struggling with so much. We are struggling as a society with the concept of what

144
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:30,840
marriage is even meant to be. And the times whenever we are frustrated with

145
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:37,720
that spouse. And it is so easy to try to find ways of kind of undercutting what

146
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:43,440
they said or did. Going behind their back complaining constantly or even just

147
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:50,320
walking away. Or even more than that. How many times do we hear the other person

148
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:57,480
doing that. And they were just angry at them. Instead of pausing to say was there

149
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:06,080
something I did that brought this out. Because in reality we are all flawed. We

150
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:11,920
are all sinful. We are all in positions where we have not done things to the best

151
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,020
of our ability. We have not been the best student. We have not been the best

152
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:18,320
teacher. We have not been the best employee. We have not been the best

153
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:23,520
boss. We have not been the best child. We have not been the best parent. We have

154
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:29,120
not been the best husband we have not been the best life. And in reality is

155
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,980
that when we spend so much time trying to figure out what

156
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:38,720
the other person did. Then we end up messing out on the lesson that God

157
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,240
wants us to see for ourselves?

158
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:46,120
Because can we determine anything that anybody else does?

159
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,240
Absolutely not.

160
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,720
The only person we can change is ourselves.

161
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,920
And that's hard.

162
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:01,720
Because as Paul points out, it is so easy to offend

163
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,440
and to hurt one another.

164
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:08,400
But do we start with ourselves?

165
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:13,400
Because then in our passage, what does it bring us back to?

166
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,360
In Ephesians, it finally brings it back together

167
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,440
and brings everyone into the same place.

168
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,760
Submit to one another.

169
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,360
Because whatever role you may be in,

170
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,040
are you asking yourself the question,

171
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:40,160
is what I'm doing loving that person the way God wants me to?

172
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,080
Because that's ultimately where Paul

173
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,120
goes with all of these relationships.

174
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:53,240
Every relationship testifies to Christ and the Church.

175
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,880
Now, we could look and we can say, well, Christ is the head.

176
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,160
So that's just focusing on the idea

177
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:02,080
that we're always supposed to follow what Christ says.

178
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:07,600
So whatever somebody else says, I'm just supposed to follow it.

179
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:13,760
Remember, Christ as the head is also the example.

180
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:19,920
When Christ is here as the head, how does He lead?

181
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,460
Does He lead with dominating people and making

182
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:26,800
His presence known and making sure that everybody just shut up

183
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,240
and let Him do His thing?

184
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,760
Or did He wash feet?

185
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,000
Did He feed the hungry?

186
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,680
Did He listen to children that everybody else

187
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,160
wanted to push away?

188
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:44,960
Did He care for the elderly that nobody else cared for?

189
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:50,720
Did He put everything on the line and give His own life

190
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,800
for you?

191
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,160
And that's the hard part about this,

192
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:58,080
because did everybody appreciate Him?

193
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,400
No.

194
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,960
And you will not always be appreciated.

195
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,320
You may not always be given respect for doing the job

196
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,840
that you do, or you may not always be given the authority

197
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,480
when you're supposed to have it.

198
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:18,480
You may be trying so hard to make sure that you care for people

199
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,880
and they completely ignore it, or you may end up doing

200
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,400
everything you were told and they completely ignore you.

201
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,440
But ultimately, who is the one who truly sees you

202
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,560
in what you do?

203
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,520
And that's where we find ourselves.

204
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:43,640
Are we listening to the true head, Jesus?

205
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,200
Not just when we think of the church and everything

206
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:53,080
that we teach here, but in everything in our lives.

207
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:57,320
Are we slowing down with whatever we see?

208
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,680
And instead of saying, how do I jump ship?

209
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,720
How do I run away?

210
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,640
Or how do I just avoid looking at myself?

211
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,360
And instead saying, no, let me go to that mirror.

212
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,440
And let me pause and say, God, what

213
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,880
do you need me to see about myself today?

214
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,800
And how do you want me to live it out?

215
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,880
Because the only way that we can make a difference in anything

216
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:23,360
in this world is by living out whatever task and role we have

217
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,560
to the best of our ability.

218
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,680
Because if we can't respect those who are over us,

219
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,840
then who's going to listen to us share with them

220
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,480
that Christ is the head of the church?

221
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,840
If we don't care for the people that we're supposed to be over,

222
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:41,760
then how are we going to believe that God loves his church?

223
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,240
If we don't take the time to submit to each other

224
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,360
with service and love and sacrifice,

225
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,000
then how is anybody going to believe

226
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:54,680
that Christ was willing to sacrifice of himself for us?

227
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,040
It's a big ask.

228
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,320
And whether it's tomorrow or the next week or whenever,

229
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,400
and you're going to go back to that,

230
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,760
and you're going to say, this is hard.

231
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,120
Yes.

232
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,200
Yes, it is.

233
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:15,720
But it's also, this is a chance to show God's love in how

234
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:21,440
I respond to you, to them, and to everybody.

235
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,400
And it will hurt, and it will be hard.

236
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,160
But it is also the way of God.

237
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:34,760
So ultimately, if we truly want to change this world,

238
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:40,200
to see God and to know Him, we have to start with us.

239
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,720
And wherever we find ourselves and whatever that may mean.

240
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,640
But fortunately, we don't have to do it alone.

241
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,360
And we can be there for each other and support each other

242
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:58,560
and love one another, even as we submit to loving and sacrificing

243
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,520
whatever that may mean.

244
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,880
So thank you for tackling a difficult passage with me

245
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,600
this morning.

246
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,960
But also, thanks be to God, because He's

247
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,120
the one who gave up everything for us first

248
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,440
before we do anything ourselves.

249
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:36,800
Thanks be to God.