WEBVTT 00:00:00.590 --> 00:00:04.929 Okay, baby's happy blood moon All right, y 'all. 00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:11.769 I am cleaning up my doom room And I'm just gonna 00:00:11.769 --> 00:00:15.929 talk to you all while I do it Okay, well for 00:00:15.929 --> 00:00:25.070 starters today is Tuesday Club going up I'm so 00:00:25.070 --> 00:00:27.649 in serious, but no seriously today's Tuesday 00:00:30.059 --> 00:00:32.840 And isn't that beautiful? Happy to be awake, 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:36.619 happy to be alive, happy to not be in very much 00:00:36.619 --> 00:00:41.920 pain today. That's always a blessing. All right, 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:46.439 let's get into it. Let me get my morning mojo 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:51.079 going while I speak on a few things. Let's see. 00:00:53.719 --> 00:01:02.250 I just feel called to say. know who you are know 00:01:02.250 --> 00:01:05.150 who you are so that when people try to fuck with 00:01:05.150 --> 00:01:06.950 you and gaslight you into thinking that you ain't 00:01:06.950 --> 00:01:11.150 that bitch you can say a good joke nice joke 00:01:11.150 --> 00:01:13.849 what a waste of your energy hate that for you 00:01:13.849 --> 00:01:20.310 you played yourself because i am that bitch and 00:01:20.310 --> 00:01:41.299 yes that is what you think it is In for four, 00:01:41.439 --> 00:01:49.219 hold for four, out for four. Oh god, everything. 00:01:50.819 --> 00:01:55.180 But yeah, I'm so happy to be alive all the time. 00:01:56.040 --> 00:01:58.480 But sometimes, you know, my little empathic heart, 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:01.819 my empathic heart be so weighed down by the world 00:02:01.819 --> 00:02:07.060 that I, pardon me, I don't forget, we all do. 00:02:08.430 --> 00:02:13.229 Let me open up these blinds. Let some sunshine 00:02:13.229 --> 00:02:21.810 in. Shout out hair. Let the sun shine. No, you 00:02:21.810 --> 00:02:24.349 know. That's the only musical I fuck with for 00:02:24.349 --> 00:02:26.689 real. Any musical that's got people of color 00:02:26.689 --> 00:02:30.689 and black people leading the charge, anything 00:02:30.689 --> 00:02:32.789 other than Book of Mormon that show needs to 00:02:32.789 --> 00:02:37.550 go is my bop. I'm a musical theater kid, but 00:02:37.550 --> 00:02:40.229 I don't like I don't like cookie cutter bullshit, 00:02:40.430 --> 00:02:43.389 so it's constant fighting in my mind of like, 00:02:43.610 --> 00:02:46.750 do I like this? Yes I do, but I like substance. 00:02:48.210 --> 00:02:52.650 But anyway, that was such a tangent. So today's 00:02:52.650 --> 00:03:01.889 episode is called Blood Moon Magic. I think... 00:03:01.889 --> 00:03:09.990 I think I want to start by acknowledging I say 00:03:09.990 --> 00:03:12.189 this a lot, but I need you all to really understand. 00:03:12.650 --> 00:03:15.629 I am married to a cishet man, but I am still 00:03:15.629 --> 00:03:19.689 a very queer black woman, black person. I'm a 00:03:19.689 --> 00:03:23.110 woman, but I also am gender fluid. I do use they, 00:03:23.110 --> 00:03:25.490 them pronouns. Nobody ever uses them for me. 00:03:25.930 --> 00:03:29.069 Please do. You know what I'm saying? I use both 00:03:29.069 --> 00:03:33.840 because I believe that... This dichotomy that 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:36.000 we subscribe to is just useless. I feel like 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.680 everybody should be nevermind. That's not my 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:39.060 business It's not my business what other people 00:03:39.060 --> 00:03:40.939 should be doing. You know what I'm saying? And 00:03:40.939 --> 00:03:44.879 that's the whole point but my existence Is very 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:47.840 much on the spectrum of gay gay gay and queer 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:54.780 queer. So me me The out the outside world's perception 00:03:54.780 --> 00:03:59.240 of me my relationship does not make me any less 00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:00.939 queer and I need y 'all to really understand 00:04:00.939 --> 00:04:05.580 that so y 'all don't talk crazy to me okay because 00:04:05.580 --> 00:04:09.180 one thing about me I am kind but I'm not nice 00:04:09.180 --> 00:04:12.240 nice it's people -pleasing shit I don't do that 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:14.699 so if you want to talk crazy about people I love 00:04:14.699 --> 00:04:17.040 or anyone really innocent people minding their 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.040 business I will crash out at you and on you it's 00:04:20.040 --> 00:04:24.730 true please help me release this rage this righteous 00:04:24.730 --> 00:04:27.050 rage you know what i'm saying we don't we don't 00:04:27.050 --> 00:04:29.250 do bullies i feel like that's why society is 00:04:29.250 --> 00:04:31.649 where it is because good people have allowed 00:04:31.649 --> 00:04:33.870 the bullies to bully for too fucking long because 00:04:33.870 --> 00:04:35.310 we're like oh no no i don't want to be mean to 00:04:35.310 --> 00:04:38.410 the bully fuck the bully be mean to the bully 00:04:38.410 --> 00:04:43.730 bro fight the bully so yeah if you're a nice 00:04:43.730 --> 00:04:48.610 person don't be nice anymore be kind be kind 00:04:48.610 --> 00:04:52.110 being kind means you have a moral compass you 00:04:52.110 --> 00:04:56.819 have integrity integrity means not only holding 00:04:56.819 --> 00:04:59.759 others to a standard but also holding yourself 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:03.220 to the standard of oh well that that's not right 00:05:03.220 --> 00:05:05.019 I might that was cute in the moment but that 00:05:05.019 --> 00:05:07.160 ain't right and you know what I fucked up and 00:05:07.160 --> 00:05:09.160 let me do better next time and then the best 00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:13.279 part is y 'all actually do better because I would 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:17.639 rather I don't know if this Aquarius thing we 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:21.160 don't like words we like action please I would 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:23.000 actually rather you shut the fuck up and just 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:25.990 do it Don't tell me, I'm so sorry, just be, just 00:05:25.990 --> 00:05:30.589 do. Um, and I actually, let's, let's remind myself 00:05:30.589 --> 00:05:32.370 right now in this moment to get back into the 00:05:32.370 --> 00:05:34.689 habit of not talking on the things that I intend 00:05:34.689 --> 00:05:37.949 to do and just do them. Because that, that to 00:05:37.949 --> 00:05:44.189 me is true. How would you say? Oh, there goes 00:05:44.189 --> 00:05:48.730 my cat yelling at me. Discipline. Self -discipline. 00:05:48.910 --> 00:05:52.290 You owe it to yourself to keep your word to yourself. 00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:56.399 You know and I'm gonna admit something to you 00:05:56.399 --> 00:06:01.920 all as a personal trainer I'm closing my window. 00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:03.639 I don't know actually I keep it cracked because 00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:07.699 I like to let the negative energy flow out But 00:06:07.699 --> 00:06:11.279 as a personal trainer I'm basically a life coach. 00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:14.759 I mean, that's my that's my That's my skill. 00:06:14.860 --> 00:06:19.560 I I can I can show someone the light For themselves. 00:06:19.720 --> 00:06:22.199 Sometimes I have trouble doing that on my own 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:25.920 I can walk someone into the light. I can give 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:28.199 them the advice that they need to a T. I know 00:06:28.199 --> 00:06:31.220 exactly what they need, but sometimes I fail 00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:34.980 to do those things for myself. And in this burnout, 00:06:35.399 --> 00:06:38.660 in this grief, in this wall that I've hit, and 00:06:38.660 --> 00:06:42.879 I'm crashing through, good, which is good, it's 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.800 good to run, like you break through the wall. 00:06:45.079 --> 00:06:47.019 Don't just slam into that shit and fall down. 00:06:47.459 --> 00:06:52.069 Get back up. Push through it. You feel me? Don't 00:06:52.069 --> 00:06:55.189 stay down for long y 'all, but in this burnout 00:06:55.189 --> 00:06:59.629 that I am in and coming out of I Am acknowledging 00:06:59.629 --> 00:07:02.810 the ways in which I have let myself down and 00:07:02.810 --> 00:07:05.810 it's not about shaming myself. It's about Loving 00:07:05.810 --> 00:07:09.350 myself enough to do better for me Knowing that 00:07:09.350 --> 00:07:12.750 I deserve to be pampered by myself knowing that 00:07:12.750 --> 00:07:15.170 oh this meal I'm cooking. Yes. I love to cook 00:07:15.170 --> 00:07:18.410 for the people I love it's it's one of Acts of 00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:22.500 service is one of my love languages But it's 00:07:22.500 --> 00:07:25.019 also like if I'm over here excited to cook a 00:07:25.019 --> 00:07:27.420 meal for my family, but I'm not excited to cook 00:07:27.420 --> 00:07:31.420 a meal for myself Come on girl. What you doing? 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:37.540 What is you doing? You feel me? So Yeah, I'm 00:07:37.540 --> 00:07:39.319 reminding you right now if you're one of those 00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:42.759 people that loves to Procrastinate on your own 00:07:42.759 --> 00:07:45.959 behalf for the betterment of others. Don't do 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:51.379 that anymore Stop it right now I'm gonna take 00:07:51.379 --> 00:07:54.199 a hand and put it on my shoulder and rub my back 00:07:54.199 --> 00:08:02.759 because I have to remind myself daily. And I 00:08:02.759 --> 00:08:04.220 want y 'all to do the same. Take a hand, put 00:08:04.220 --> 00:08:08.560 it on your back, rub your shoulder. Say I am 00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:16.699 loved by me. I am whole. I deserve to be pampered 00:08:16.699 --> 00:08:25.379 by myself. deserve to be catered to by me I sustain 00:08:25.379 --> 00:08:38.179 my life one more time I sustain my life all right 00:08:38.179 --> 00:08:44.799 so as I get into these episodes because right 00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:49.399 now as I come out of this this obstacle course 00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:53.019 of life I want to get back into the fun episodes 00:08:53.019 --> 00:08:54.879 the episodes in which you all really get to hear 00:08:54.879 --> 00:08:58.639 what my brain is like the episodes in which I 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:03.039 actually outline and not for the sake of organization 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:07.000 but for the sake of having a full plate for you 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:14.679 all to listen to or digest yeah so that being 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:21.730 said back to my back to my And I'm by the way 00:09:21.730 --> 00:09:23.649 you all you're gonna hear me say um and pause 00:09:23.649 --> 00:09:25.830 because I don't really believe in editing myself 00:09:25.830 --> 00:09:29.509 down If that bothers you you just you know scoot 00:09:29.509 --> 00:09:32.549 the room whatever but we're gonna talk about 00:09:32.549 --> 00:09:41.389 global oppression Yeah, it's ugly it's nasty 00:09:41.389 --> 00:09:48.080 But no for real my microphone cut off I didn't 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:51.460 know it had a timer on it but either way things 00:09:51.460 --> 00:09:53.620 are bleak right now and that's okay but you know 00:09:53.620 --> 00:09:59.480 what all it is is this the reaping of what was 00:09:59.480 --> 00:10:02.639 sown centuries and eons ago when people decided 00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:07.779 to move through this world selfishly inhumanely 00:10:07.779 --> 00:10:12.519 and many other things that I don't feel the need 00:10:12.519 --> 00:10:14.850 to name because you know what that's not what 00:10:14.850 --> 00:10:17.610 this space is for we're not focused on what we 00:10:17.610 --> 00:10:20.049 we're not focused on that shit we can we can 00:10:20.049 --> 00:10:21.730 think about that let's actually take a second 00:10:21.730 --> 00:10:25.110 to reflect on a lot of the isms of the world 00:10:25.110 --> 00:10:35.870 racism transphobia especially femicide let's 00:10:35.870 --> 00:10:37.649 take a second breathe y 'all hear my dog getting 00:10:37.649 --> 00:10:39.990 on the bed that's fine that's my baby she sees 00:10:39.990 --> 00:10:47.600 my food we're holding space right now for all 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:54.419 those on the front line right now I I'm I'm back 00:10:54.419 --> 00:10:56.519 I'm behind you just know that let's say that 00:10:56.519 --> 00:10:59.759 if you know you know I'm behind you and so are 00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:04.179 many other uh root workers across the world other 00:11:04.179 --> 00:11:10.080 magic ladies and folks and they thems are behind 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:18.559 you and the ways that we can be you know It's 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:23.019 crazy That so much changes but so much remains 00:11:23.019 --> 00:11:26.440 the same and you choose to Ignore your gut when 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:28.700 you choose to not speak on what you know is wrong 00:11:28.700 --> 00:11:31.039 when you choose to not Speak your truth when 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:33.200 you choose to not be brave through the fear when 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:36.279 you choose to not jump off that That that bluff 00:11:36.279 --> 00:11:39.759 and you know what I mean experience Instead of 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:42.519 just existing we all have a purpose in this world, 00:11:42.519 --> 00:11:45.100 and I think we all know deeply what it is I really 00:11:45.100 --> 00:11:47.840 do I think we all know in our gut what what makes 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:50.720 us truly happy whatever comes naturally to you 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:53.220 that people just whenever you do it if people 00:11:53.220 --> 00:11:55.960 zoom into you and if it comes naturally to you 00:11:55.960 --> 00:11:58.919 like breathing that that's it that's it for you 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:00.399 you know what i'm saying that's your vehicle 00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:04.039 of of of life that's what's going to move you 00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:06.340 through this life your soul's journey is about 00:12:06.340 --> 00:12:09.120 coming closer at least in my opinion this is 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:11.779 all my opinion you all i'm not an expert i'm 00:12:11.779 --> 00:12:15.929 just flowing i'm just speaking if it if it resonates, 00:12:16.070 --> 00:12:18.009 great. If it doesn't, leave it where it is, okay? 00:12:18.049 --> 00:12:22.029 I'm not here to argue about how I feel about 00:12:22.029 --> 00:12:24.950 spirituality and a soul and what they're meant 00:12:24.950 --> 00:12:28.230 to do on this planet. But if you'd like to discuss 00:12:28.230 --> 00:12:31.309 further, you know, exchange ideas, I'm open to 00:12:31.309 --> 00:12:35.070 that, so just shoot me a DM. But I'm a very firm 00:12:35.070 --> 00:12:40.210 believer in a creator. My ancestors are Haitian, 00:12:40.450 --> 00:12:46.460 Yoruba Igbo, Nigerian, West African. um many 00:12:46.460 --> 00:12:50.000 things because again i have a lot of work to 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:53.399 do when it comes to tracking down my my history 00:12:53.399 --> 00:12:56.879 that is quite a privilege um in this world but 00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:59.159 there will come a day where i will have the means 00:12:59.159 --> 00:13:02.659 to track down my bloodline truly and deeply um 00:13:02.659 --> 00:13:04.500 and i look forward to experiencing all those 00:13:04.500 --> 00:13:06.659 things but in this moment with what i do know 00:13:06.659 --> 00:13:12.460 i just take my time you know um discovering these 00:13:12.460 --> 00:13:14.379 little facets of myself that have always been 00:13:14.379 --> 00:13:15.840 there, that have always been screaming out to 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:18.919 me. For example, French. I've always felt a pull 00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:21.740 to the French language since I can remember it. 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:26.779 And I... I always laugh, y 'all. Oh my god, this 00:13:26.779 --> 00:13:31.320 is so funny. I was like, yeah, this is in third 00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:34.320 grade. I wanna learn French because I wanna be 00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:39.590 a fashion designer. No, no, no, no. I don't know 00:13:39.590 --> 00:13:42.330 no no no that does not that don't sit that don't 00:13:42.330 --> 00:13:45.750 resonate fashion designer no but I always felt 00:13:45.750 --> 00:13:51.490 pulled to French um and learning my heritage 00:13:51.490 --> 00:13:55.029 a bit deeper all it does is make me understand 00:13:55.029 --> 00:13:58.190 more about why I am who I am and that it's okay 00:13:58.190 --> 00:14:00.309 to embrace the things that I naturally feel because 00:14:00.309 --> 00:14:02.690 it all will make sense see where I'm you see 00:14:02.690 --> 00:14:05.190 what I'm saying so coming back on this topic 00:14:05.190 --> 00:14:08.519 of what's going on around the world How can we, 00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:14.259 from where we are, truly do the brave thing? 00:14:15.139 --> 00:14:18.679 How can you heal your community? Like, if you 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:20.340 have the means to take two, three days off work, 00:14:20.340 --> 00:14:24.419 do it. Go, go buy, if you have a hundred dollars, 00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:28.159 go buy maybe, I don't know, there's a, I'll actually 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.980 think of some ideas, but go buy some, some food. 00:14:31.559 --> 00:14:34.779 Go to a local market, buy some food, and then 00:14:34.779 --> 00:14:38.129 walk around. Do you see houseless people? Hand 00:14:38.129 --> 00:14:39.870 food. Ask them if they would like some food. 00:14:40.070 --> 00:14:41.830 You know, like what can you do in your community 00:14:41.830 --> 00:14:45.470 to actually make a small impact because I promise 00:14:45.470 --> 00:14:48.110 you those small impacts do ripple outward. It 00:14:48.110 --> 00:14:50.429 is better than going to work and pretending like 00:14:50.429 --> 00:14:52.809 that small impact can be made inside the system 00:14:52.809 --> 00:14:55.110 of capitalism because it cannot and I had to 00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:58.110 acknowledge that this year, okay? I thought they 00:14:58.110 --> 00:15:01.049 walking my black ass up in this high -class gym 00:15:01.049 --> 00:15:06.519 in the middle of my cat is such a spaz. Holy 00:15:06.519 --> 00:15:10.519 shit, Jade. This nigga just like jerked off and, 00:15:10.679 --> 00:15:14.740 okay, that's not, I can't, not like that. Welcome 00:15:14.740 --> 00:15:16.500 to the comedy portion of the episode. Anyway, 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:18.700 he just like jerked his body around and like 00:15:18.700 --> 00:15:21.759 jetted off the bed. But anyway, I walked into 00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:23.659 this place thinking that I can make a difference 00:15:23.659 --> 00:15:26.440 because I, I can. Anywhere I go, I do make a 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:29.919 difference. But what I am not going to do is 00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:32.000 be in an environment where people think that 00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:34.399 they can treat me any kind of way because, um, 00:15:35.309 --> 00:15:37.889 Put some fucking respect on my name. I do not 00:15:37.889 --> 00:15:40.570 need to brag about who I am out loud. I just 00:15:40.570 --> 00:15:43.590 am. I just exist. I just live in who I am and 00:15:43.590 --> 00:15:47.389 people gravitate to it. But if I did get to starting 00:15:47.389 --> 00:15:51.950 to talk about like, I'm not even gonna bother. 00:15:53.009 --> 00:15:54.590 You know, because it's not, it's like, that's 00:15:54.590 --> 00:15:57.230 not what my energy is for. If you want to throw 00:15:57.230 --> 00:15:59.429 shade at me, if you want to microaggress me in 00:15:59.429 --> 00:16:01.210 my place of work when all I'm doing is making 00:16:01.210 --> 00:16:04.940 people happy, what? Like, I cannot tell y 'all 00:16:04.940 --> 00:16:08.019 how many dirty looks I got. The difference between 00:16:08.019 --> 00:16:10.919 training a white client and training a brown 00:16:10.919 --> 00:16:14.580 client, come on. Like, how old are y 'all? You 00:16:14.580 --> 00:16:16.320 know what I'm saying? And it's like, I'm not 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:19.519 surprised. I'm not at all. I just give people 00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:21.620 the benefit of the doubt because it's not my 00:16:21.620 --> 00:16:24.779 right to judge before I know. So I walk in there 00:16:24.779 --> 00:16:27.340 protected, I'm ready to learn and observe. And 00:16:27.340 --> 00:16:30.220 I learned and observed and I said, no, it's not 00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:33.129 for me. Y 'all don't deserve my light. if you're 00:16:33.129 --> 00:16:34.529 in an environment like that thinking that you 00:16:34.529 --> 00:16:36.230 can make a change but you're going home drained 00:16:36.230 --> 00:16:38.549 every day you feeling like people aren't listening 00:16:38.549 --> 00:16:44.850 to you you're feeling like you're feeling like 00:16:44.850 --> 00:16:47.570 the bright ideas that you've shared with the 00:16:47.570 --> 00:16:49.830 people that you do know fuck with you at your 00:16:49.830 --> 00:16:51.710 job and you bring them to the table and somebody's 00:16:51.710 --> 00:16:57.389 like yeah no find somewhere else to go okay strategically 00:16:57.389 --> 00:17:03.019 but Taking risk is necessary for change, for 00:17:03.019 --> 00:17:06.220 growth. There is so many people in so many other 00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:10.119 places with so much more on the line than you, 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:14.240 okay? Yes, all of us. There are so many other 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:16.799 people with so much more on the line than you, 00:17:16.859 --> 00:17:19.059 especially if you are from where I'm from, which 00:17:19.059 --> 00:17:28.880 is... Turtle Island, okay? If you're caught in 00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:32.380 this... Cheeto Hellscape, there's so many people 00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:34.440 going through worse. And yeah, uh -huh, I said 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.599 it. Because a lot of you folks who watch Handmaid's 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:39.779 Tale and felt hurt for the first time ever think 00:17:39.779 --> 00:17:42.220 that like, wow, oh my god, guys, we're suffering, 00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:44.619 we've been suffering, okay? But here's the point, 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.299 there's actual people in war zones right now. 00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:53.700 The joy they get is like, it's a lot more fleeting, 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.740 okay? Your bad day involves no cup of coffee. 00:17:59.269 --> 00:18:02.769 sometimes my bad day involves let's see what 00:18:02.769 --> 00:18:05.349 do my bad days involve sometimes my bad days 00:18:05.349 --> 00:18:07.970 involve like oh my god like my prescription got 00:18:07.970 --> 00:18:11.049 sent to the wrong pharmacy like come on now bitch 00:18:11.049 --> 00:18:13.089 cry about it later because that's not a real 00:18:13.089 --> 00:18:14.930 problem and i have to remind myself these are 00:18:14.930 --> 00:18:18.390 not real problems it's an inconvenience and no 00:18:18.390 --> 00:18:20.069 i'm not saying that you don't have the right 00:18:20.069 --> 00:18:22.869 to acknowledge when things go bad because everyone 00:18:22.869 --> 00:18:25.250 has the right to like feel what they feel okay 00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:29.339 i'm saying duality I'm saying find the balance 00:18:29.339 --> 00:18:31.980 and acknowledging that you can you can feel your 00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:33.640 feelings and know that there's somebody else 00:18:33.640 --> 00:18:35.880 feeling more feelings and you need to hold space 00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:40.000 for that and move with gratitude and move with 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.200 with grace for yourself and move with courage 00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:53.779 um because staying down long is a privilege you 00:18:53.779 --> 00:18:55.380 know what I'm saying when you're a parent you 00:18:55.380 --> 00:19:01.200 can't just like check out You can't You cannot 00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:03.640 stay down you have to pick your shit up and keep 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:06.059 moving you have a whole human that's relying 00:19:06.059 --> 00:19:09.440 on you for life and understanding and safety 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:16.880 and comfort and shelter so it's like If this 00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:20.680 hits you if this makes you feel attacked I Encourage 00:19:20.680 --> 00:19:24.960 you to to go through my Go through my episodes 00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:28.779 like maybe my earlier episodes And listen to 00:19:28.779 --> 00:19:32.599 some of them because it's not about like Attacking 00:19:32.599 --> 00:19:35.200 anyone and that's not my business to sorry hit 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:37.200 my mic. That's not my business to remedy that 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:39.680 within you That's your business to remedy that 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:42.079 within yourself. I have to do this work on my 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:44.380 own, too. We're all human. We're all learning 00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:48.039 But if you're feeling attacked then that that's 00:19:48.039 --> 00:19:50.400 for a reason and I need you to examine that But 00:19:50.400 --> 00:19:52.660 I'm not saying anything wrong and I'm not saying 00:19:52.660 --> 00:19:55.180 anything new. That's the thing and I'm not even 00:19:55.180 --> 00:19:57.619 saying all of the shit that I could be saying 00:19:57.619 --> 00:20:04.579 right now so I say all that to say how can you 00:20:04.579 --> 00:20:07.200 help your community today tomorrow sustainably 00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:09.779 how can you help yourself so that you can help 00:20:09.779 --> 00:20:12.099 your community if you have clothes in your closet 00:20:12.099 --> 00:20:15.980 take them out put them all together if you have 00:20:15.980 --> 00:20:19.259 a spare cabinet put them clothes in that cabinet 00:20:19.259 --> 00:20:23.180 you have some canned goods okay cool put that 00:20:23.180 --> 00:20:25.309 up Put that in a box. Put that in the cabinet. 00:20:26.250 --> 00:20:28.750 You have some seasonings. You have some games. 00:20:28.869 --> 00:20:31.730 You have some card games. You have some toiletries. 00:20:32.309 --> 00:20:34.670 Put that in the cabinet. Sit it outside on your 00:20:34.670 --> 00:20:37.349 front porch. Or I'm sorry, not on your front 00:20:37.349 --> 00:20:40.130 porch. Sit it outside on your front curb. Or 00:20:40.130 --> 00:20:42.150 go to the corner and sit it on your corner where 00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:44.950 you live. Everybody who's listening to this episode, 00:20:45.309 --> 00:20:49.369 do that and see what happens. What if we all 00:20:49.369 --> 00:20:52.240 had community cabinets? What would we really 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:56.480 need to go by? What? You know what I'm saying? 00:20:56.579 --> 00:20:59.059 Like, come on now. Like it ripples outward, you 00:20:59.059 --> 00:21:01.480 all. And sitting here acting helpless is such 00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:05.200 a... I cuss a lot and I'm not gonna please myself. 00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:08.119 It's such a fucking luxury. Okay? It's a luxury. 00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:14.799 And right now, how does this all relate back 00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:19.579 to blood moon magic? This is a time of broken 00:21:19.579 --> 00:21:23.960 ancestral curses. for everyone. So many people 00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:26.440 are healing curses within their generations right 00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:28.460 now, within their bloodline right now, within 00:21:28.460 --> 00:21:31.599 their roots. And that's so beautiful, like I'm 00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:34.680 almost tearing up thinking about it, because 00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:36.440 I know that it's happening, and I know it was 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:38.319 coming, and I felt it, and I think a lot of other 00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:41.460 magic people felt this coming, felt this, this 00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:44.880 pulsation happening for years. The change in 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:46.880 the air. It's, it's happening, and we all need 00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:49.200 to lean into it. Stop being afraid. It's okay. 00:21:49.710 --> 00:21:54.390 Leave that job Do what makes you happy? Find 00:21:54.390 --> 00:21:58.109 a way to sustain yourself locally Money is an 00:21:58.109 --> 00:22:01.190 object. It's an energy. You are wealthy without 00:22:01.190 --> 00:22:06.549 money You have everything you need and Then some 00:22:06.549 --> 00:22:10.170 and you don't need to drain yourself to do it. 00:22:10.569 --> 00:22:18.869 Okay Let's talk about how a lot of queer people 00:22:18.869 --> 00:22:23.670 a lot of brown queer people a lot of Disabled 00:22:23.670 --> 00:22:25.950 brown queer people and a lot of disabled people 00:22:25.950 --> 00:22:33.130 in general chronic illness It's a the statistics 00:22:33.130 --> 00:22:35.730 I do not have right now and for that I apologize 00:22:35.730 --> 00:22:41.170 because my autistic ass loves numbers But there's 00:22:41.170 --> 00:22:44.069 a very high percentage of chronic illness and 00:22:44.069 --> 00:22:49.599 autoimmune disease in black AFAB people, okay? 00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:55.640 I wonder why that is. For lack of a better term, 00:22:55.859 --> 00:22:58.500 are they also not the most shat on demographic, 00:22:58.900 --> 00:23:02.839 systemically? Okay, so do we not think that there's 00:23:02.839 --> 00:23:05.140 a correlation? And I feel like all of this stuff 00:23:05.140 --> 00:23:12.700 they've convinced us is jargon and what's the 00:23:12.700 --> 00:23:16.579 word? Taboo. is actually truth um and I really 00:23:16.579 --> 00:23:20.799 laugh often with myself and my husband about 00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:23.059 how much stuff they put in our media and play 00:23:23.059 --> 00:23:25.819 in our face about and we're just like oh that's 00:23:25.819 --> 00:23:29.500 so funny as if we're not actually living it like 00:23:29.500 --> 00:23:34.880 do y 'all not see please you guys need to sissy 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:37.259 how you gonna sass me in my own room baby come 00:23:37.259 --> 00:23:40.420 on now these these animals y 'all I'm telling 00:23:40.420 --> 00:23:42.700 you it's like they pay bills this baby is so 00:23:42.700 --> 00:23:47.269 spoiled I'm sorry I'm loud, but this is my episode, 00:23:47.529 --> 00:23:51.630 okay? Okay, I rub your, I rub your butt. Okay, 00:23:51.950 --> 00:23:57.390 all right, back to the topic. Like, my former 00:23:57.390 --> 00:24:00.609 English teacher, shout out Sandra Wright, AP 00:24:00.609 --> 00:24:05.490 Lit, used to say to me, your life, treat your 00:24:05.490 --> 00:24:09.329 life like a novel, and the symbols will be very 00:24:09.329 --> 00:24:12.690 evident. And so when I'm sitting there watching 00:24:12.690 --> 00:24:16.910 a movie, I really am treating it like I'm taking 00:24:16.910 --> 00:24:18.750 it in, I'm taking the symbols in, I'm analyzing 00:24:18.750 --> 00:24:20.309 them at a different level and I really think 00:24:20.309 --> 00:24:22.890 everyone should. That's why it's important to 00:24:22.890 --> 00:24:25.230 read and that's why they encourage us not to. 00:24:27.250 --> 00:24:32.349 Shout out Yzma2, please go to threadlings .io, 00:24:33.230 --> 00:24:37.450 subscribe to Queen's Patreon, they're feeding 00:24:37.450 --> 00:24:39.970 their community in Sierra Leone. However, but 00:24:39.970 --> 00:24:42.700 I just want to like shout out. Ismatou Gwendolyn 00:24:42.700 --> 00:24:45.839 for being one of my teachers and inspiration. 00:24:47.140 --> 00:24:51.240 But yeah, she talks a lot about the discourage, 00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:54.099 the discouraging way in which they teach us to 00:24:54.099 --> 00:24:57.299 view books and literature in specifically the 00:24:57.299 --> 00:25:00.819 United States, Turtle Island, Western world, 00:25:00.819 --> 00:25:05.960 if you will. But yes, the symbols are there. 00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:09.220 If we really listen, if you really take a second, 00:25:09.319 --> 00:25:13.140 the symbols are all around us. And we really 00:25:13.140 --> 00:25:15.440 need to start using those things. Like, y 'all 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:17.799 can make fun of astrologists all you want, but 00:25:17.799 --> 00:25:20.700 it's the age of Aquarius and there's a lot of 00:25:20.700 --> 00:25:23.400 wild change happening, isn't there? Uh -huh. 00:25:23.660 --> 00:25:26.200 Isn't it? It's cray -cray. There's so much stuff 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:27.859 happening to the planets that already foretold 00:25:27.859 --> 00:25:29.700 this and y 'all want to be like, I don't know. 00:25:30.819 --> 00:25:33.359 This is why Envisionist folks read the stars. 00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:37.279 Because they be knowing. This is why the planet 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:40.519 is the source. This is why it is important that 00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:42.950 we treat our planet with care. Because it all 00:25:42.950 --> 00:25:46.650 comes back. It all circles back around. Okay? 00:25:47.109 --> 00:25:48.910 Whatever. Call me a hippie. Call me whatever. 00:25:48.910 --> 00:25:52.009 I don't care. I really don't. I don't... This 00:25:52.009 --> 00:25:56.950 is my life. Alright, but... Oh my god. I'm so 00:25:56.950 --> 00:26:00.609 sorry y 'all. Actually, I'm not. I'm a human 00:26:00.609 --> 00:26:04.809 being and I'm eating. Maybe y 'all will feel 00:26:04.809 --> 00:26:08.730 seen. I don't know. But yeah. Healing the body 00:26:08.730 --> 00:26:14.079 is healing the spirit. I'm learning this. Succumbing 00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:20.460 to the dimensions in which you do not succeed, 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:26.920 do not do that. Okay? You can succeed. Alright? 00:26:28.180 --> 00:26:30.740 Believe it and you shall. And I know that sounds 00:26:30.740 --> 00:26:33.839 wild, but as above so below, as within so without. 00:26:36.119 --> 00:26:39.500 As above so below, as within so without. As above? 00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:45.519 So below, as within, so without. Ashay. That's 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:47.519 a really important thing to carry with you wherever 00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:53.839 you go. It really is a mantra for experiencing 00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:57.480 this life to the fullest. Also, if you have not 00:26:57.480 --> 00:26:59.779 seen the movie As Above So Below, I really recommend 00:26:59.779 --> 00:27:02.880 that you do watch it. Really, it's a great movie 00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:07.180 and it's a great metaphor for how to view life 00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.420 and it's... probably not even a metaphor like 00:27:09.420 --> 00:27:10.960 I don't know everything but that's probably not 00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:15.559 even that far off of what is real um yeah we'll 00:27:15.559 --> 00:27:17.720 get into that some more another episode if you're 00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:23.140 intrigued by my view on how I just saw the conjuring 00:27:23.140 --> 00:27:25.819 y 'all and you know a theme that I've been seeing 00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:27.619 in a lot of these movies especially this year 00:27:27.619 --> 00:27:31.019 is if you let the devil let you doubt yourself 00:27:31.019 --> 00:27:35.799 you will succumb to whatever it is that that 00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:38.259 fate is that you're afraid of If you let that 00:27:38.259 --> 00:27:40.200 doubt seep in, if you let that seed of doubt 00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:43.220 sow itself, of course it's gonna bloom. So just 00:27:43.220 --> 00:27:47.779 kill the shit. Sammy, in sinners, if he had not 00:27:47.779 --> 00:27:50.900 believed in his power to stand in his own identity 00:27:50.900 --> 00:27:52.900 as an artist and not believe what his father 00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:55.640 said and also not believe what Remix said, he 00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:57.680 said, nah, fuck both y 'all. I can do this on 00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:02.079 my own. That's what you need to do. I just saw 00:28:02.079 --> 00:28:05.559 the Conjuring with my mom and... Spoiler alert 00:28:05.559 --> 00:28:08.940 sorry if y 'all don't want to hear probably skip 00:28:08.940 --> 00:28:12.880 through the next minute, but spoiler alert It's 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.559 about Lorraine and Judy's relationship and how 00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:18.660 Lorraine Convinced Judy that it was more safe 00:28:18.660 --> 00:28:21.640 to ignore her gift than to embrace it to her 00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:28.000 fullest abilities and Y 'all my dog was even 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:30.519 over here trying to steal my sandwich. I'm so 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:34.119 mad But anyway, it was it was about Lorraine 00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:36.279 and how she had convinced Judy that it was safer 00:28:36.279 --> 00:28:39.339 to ignore her gift than to master it How she 00:28:39.339 --> 00:28:42.220 tried to shelter her so much so that Judy didn't 00:28:42.220 --> 00:28:44.440 believe in herself didn't understand herself 00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:46.819 That's why it's so important to do shadow work 00:28:46.819 --> 00:28:48.940 It's so important to understand these things 00:28:48.940 --> 00:28:50.799 that you don't like about yourself so that you 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:54.160 can you can dead them Once you say you know what 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:57.019 I am this way because I was treated this way 00:28:57.019 --> 00:28:59.500 But I don't have to continue to do this if I 00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:06.059 don't like that It's really that simple. If you 00:29:06.059 --> 00:29:08.359 picked up some shit from someone that you don't 00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:11.160 think serves you anymore, or if you picked up 00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:12.740 some shit from somewhere that you don't think 00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:15.200 serves you anymore, it's your choice to leave 00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:18.460 it behind. It's not latched to you forever. Like, 00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:22.339 you're powerful enough to say, I don't need this 00:29:22.339 --> 00:29:29.480 out with you. You feel me? I love a soapbox. 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:35.250 But yes, y 'all. Alright, conjuring spoilers 00:29:35.250 --> 00:29:39.150 are over. And that was about a minute, so I think, 00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:42.829 yeah. But anyway, I'm gonna get around and clean 00:29:42.829 --> 00:29:45.390 up and listen to some music and finish eating. 00:29:46.009 --> 00:29:48.369 But I just wanted to come on here and shoot the 00:29:48.369 --> 00:29:51.670 shit, okay? Take care of your body, take care 00:29:51.670 --> 00:29:54.309 of your mind, make sure that you're good. The 00:29:54.309 --> 00:29:55.930 things that bring you joy, dancing in your kitchen 00:29:55.930 --> 00:29:58.589 is something that I love to do. If you like dancing 00:29:58.589 --> 00:30:00.710 in your kitchen, do that this week, do that today, 00:30:00.829 --> 00:30:03.980 clean your kitchen to music. Torque that ass 00:30:03.980 --> 00:30:05.920 and then you know shake out the negativity. It 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:10.019 really is this is such a necessary practice for 00:30:10.019 --> 00:30:15.619 somebody like me Yeah, go out have a great day 00:30:15.619 --> 00:30:18.259 Think about how you can serve yourself so you 00:30:18.259 --> 00:30:21.160 can serve your community Think about someone 00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:23.059 in your life that always helps you out. How can 00:30:23.059 --> 00:30:26.079 you help them today? You know, what can you do 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:28.000 with your time that can you know give a little 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:31.859 bit back to them? So, all right. I love y 'all 00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:32.859 I'll talk to you later