WEBVTT 00:00:01.369 --> 00:00:07.669 Alright everybody, hello there and happy Sunday. 00:00:08.949 --> 00:00:11.830 Alright, so today we're gonna talk a little bit 00:00:11.830 --> 00:00:16.190 about rest. We're gonna talk about not rushing 00:00:16.190 --> 00:00:19.609 the process. We're gonna talk about sinners, 00:00:19.929 --> 00:00:24.289 duh. So if you haven't seen it yet, I don't know 00:00:24.289 --> 00:00:26.329 what you're doing because everybody I know has 00:00:26.329 --> 00:00:29.690 seen it at least three times, pretty much more 00:00:29.690 --> 00:00:33.159 than once at least. All right. I hope you all 00:00:33.159 --> 00:00:37.939 are having a wonderful start to your June. That's 00:00:37.939 --> 00:00:43.560 basically June. Hot girl summer, pretty much. 00:00:44.859 --> 00:00:50.320 Hot they them summer. All right, folks. So yeah, 00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:56.060 I want to talk a little bit about rest and yeah, 00:00:56.140 --> 00:01:01.490 so I'm going to lean more into These episodes 00:01:01.490 --> 00:01:05.109 being what they are which is just me Talking 00:01:05.109 --> 00:01:08.349 I'm really bad at trying to make everything perfect 00:01:08.349 --> 00:01:11.709 all the time And that's okay, but I'm learning 00:01:11.709 --> 00:01:14.209 how to not do that to myself and how to let myself 00:01:14.209 --> 00:01:18.030 be human and make errors and Even more errors, 00:01:18.030 --> 00:01:20.810 you know Because that's the only way that we 00:01:20.810 --> 00:01:23.109 learn is through failure and through trial and 00:01:23.109 --> 00:01:26.890 error Failure to me is just a part of success 00:01:26.890 --> 00:01:33.500 success being constant Trying I don't know constant 00:01:33.500 --> 00:01:37.980 striving for better. Can I get an amen? All right, 00:01:38.019 --> 00:01:40.400 but yeah, let's talk a little bit about more 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:45.140 about how my husband and I discussed like the 00:01:45.140 --> 00:01:49.519 closer we get to You know what society deems 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:53.319 true success the more burnt out we feel The more 00:01:53.319 --> 00:01:56.099 disconnected from like the things that we find 00:01:56.099 --> 00:01:58.480 joy and we feel because obviously you're in survival 00:01:58.480 --> 00:02:01.060 mode. I mean Clocking in and clocking out is 00:02:01.060 --> 00:02:04.439 not easy. My husband typically works 10 to 12 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:07.359 hour days. He gets paid very well, but nonetheless 00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:11.659 it's like hard work and it's tiring, you know? 00:02:12.620 --> 00:02:17.639 So we were talking about why that is and how 00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:23.259 to work through that and I thought to myself, 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:26.419 why am I neglecting the things that I know will 00:02:26.419 --> 00:02:30.629 bring me joy? I'm gonna say that again. Why am 00:02:30.629 --> 00:02:32.270 I neglecting the things that I know will bring 00:02:32.270 --> 00:02:37.550 me joy? I feel like when you are moving through 00:02:37.550 --> 00:02:40.689 life, sometimes we fight the things that we know 00:02:40.689 --> 00:02:43.550 are good for us, like a little bit of self -sabotage. 00:02:44.509 --> 00:02:47.069 That's okay. It's normal. It's a self -sabotage. 00:02:47.110 --> 00:02:51.069 We fear our own success at times. But we're releasing 00:02:51.069 --> 00:02:55.460 that. Okay? There's self -discovery in every 00:02:55.460 --> 00:02:57.659 single thing that you do through the hard stuff. 00:02:58.620 --> 00:03:03.759 I am learning how to separate the reluctance 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:06.620 that I feel because my cup isn't empty and I 00:03:06.620 --> 00:03:09.800 feel like I'm pulling from a place of lack. I'm 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:14.199 learning how to let that go and instead divvy 00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:18.099 my energy out wisely and just do the hard thing. 00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:20.789 And if it doesn't feel good, move on. you know 00:03:20.789 --> 00:03:23.150 like instead of saying oh my anxiety is high 00:03:23.150 --> 00:03:27.250 like yeah I'm gonna stay in today no my anxiety 00:03:27.250 --> 00:03:29.409 is high I'm gonna go outside and sit in the grass 00:03:29.409 --> 00:03:31.090 even though I really don't want to look at people 00:03:31.090 --> 00:03:34.830 right now I'm gonna go outside and sit in the 00:03:34.830 --> 00:03:37.509 grass if somebody tries to talk to me it happens 00:03:37.509 --> 00:03:39.629 I'm just gonna do my best you know what I mean 00:03:39.629 --> 00:03:42.229 like take things as they come is the lesson I'm 00:03:42.229 --> 00:03:44.449 trying to live in right now take things as they 00:03:44.449 --> 00:03:48.150 come I'm an Aquarius so typically that is natural 00:03:48.150 --> 00:03:53.000 for us But I also have a Capricorn Mercury, and 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:56.639 I have a Virgo Moon and Rising. So, you know, 00:03:56.759 --> 00:03:59.099 like the unknown is not, we don't like that all 00:03:59.099 --> 00:04:02.000 the time. Sometimes I feel like things need to 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.319 be planned out, things need to be designated 00:04:05.319 --> 00:04:08.560 and divvied up, and that's not true. It's okay 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:12.199 to just let things be. You know, again, finding 00:04:12.199 --> 00:04:14.219 balance between what needs to be done and what 00:04:14.219 --> 00:04:16.939 we feel is an obligation that's pushed on us 00:04:16.939 --> 00:04:20.949 by the status quo, okay? I find that when I'm 00:04:20.949 --> 00:04:24.370 asked to do things, typically if my first instinct 00:04:24.370 --> 00:04:27.930 without thought, let's emphasize that, without 00:04:27.930 --> 00:04:29.689 thought, so like if you give it some thought 00:04:29.689 --> 00:04:31.930 and then, you know, that's your instinct, whatever. 00:04:32.529 --> 00:04:34.470 Again, these things are just my opinions. I want 00:04:34.470 --> 00:04:36.769 you all to take these with a grain of salt. But 00:04:36.769 --> 00:04:39.529 in my experience, if it's something that I like 00:04:39.529 --> 00:04:41.509 have a knee -jerk reaction to say yes to and 00:04:41.509 --> 00:04:44.569 I don't even give it thought, then I'm typically 00:04:44.569 --> 00:04:46.550 doing that for somebody else and not for myself. 00:04:46.949 --> 00:04:49.389 So these days, one of the ways in which I'm learning 00:04:49.389 --> 00:04:53.470 to rest and process better and balance life, 00:04:53.509 --> 00:04:57.129 work, and, you know, creativity is taking a second. 00:04:57.410 --> 00:05:00.250 When somebody asks something of me, is this something 00:05:00.250 --> 00:05:06.170 that I, like, feel pushed to do? Is this something 00:05:06.170 --> 00:05:09.430 that, you know, and again, discerning whether 00:05:09.430 --> 00:05:11.189 or not you are being reluctant because you're 00:05:11.189 --> 00:05:13.470 being stubborn, like, these are hard things to 00:05:13.470 --> 00:05:16.350 do. And this is why shadow work is so necessary. 00:05:17.500 --> 00:05:20.199 Shadow work being the work that we do, confronting 00:05:20.199 --> 00:05:22.879 the things that we know we are not the best at. 00:05:23.500 --> 00:05:27.079 For example, I've worked on and continue to work 00:05:27.079 --> 00:05:30.439 on my ability to keep my word to myself and to 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:34.120 others. So discipline, perseverance, that's one 00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:36.819 of my shadow work tasks because I've not always 00:05:36.819 --> 00:05:40.279 been the most consistent person. Again, Aquarius 00:05:40.279 --> 00:05:43.519 like to do things that feel good. And sometimes 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:44.939 when it's like you don't feel good. I'm like, 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:48.019 yeah, no, I'm bored So I'm learning how to like 00:05:48.019 --> 00:05:51.459 push through the the forging fires push through 00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:54.120 the growing pains because that's what's necessary 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:58.019 at times to become a better person to become 00:05:58.019 --> 00:06:02.199 a more Well -rounded human to become a more thoughtful 00:06:02.199 --> 00:06:09.680 human Yeah Yeah, let's talk a little bit more 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:14.199 about not rushing healing Um, I ideally, I had 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:17.079 wanted to post two episodes over the past two 00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:20.959 weeks, but I let myself rest, and I let myself 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:24.160 accept that it's okay to not be okay, and it's 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:26.800 okay to be overwhelmed. You know, grief is not 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:28.839 a linear thing. Again, I'm still processing, 00:06:29.319 --> 00:06:34.579 um, a lot. I'm just getting back into therapy. 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:38.079 Um, so I'm allowed to have bad days, and so are 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:40.430 you. you're allowed to have setbacks and it doesn't 00:06:40.430 --> 00:06:42.029 mean you're not healing in fact that means you're 00:06:42.029 --> 00:06:45.250 doing the healing because how are you going to 00:06:45.250 --> 00:06:47.050 work through the things if you're not feeling 00:06:47.050 --> 00:06:50.569 the emotions if you're pushing the emotions down 00:06:50.569 --> 00:06:52.629 they're just going to fester and resurface in 00:06:52.629 --> 00:06:55.910 one way or another be it burnout be it you know 00:06:55.910 --> 00:06:59.829 anxiety you know that that insecurity about whether 00:06:59.829 --> 00:07:01.910 we're capable of doing these things that we know 00:07:01.910 --> 00:07:04.829 we can do and this is again not devaluing what 00:07:04.829 --> 00:07:09.259 anxiety is i know that it's very real and again 00:07:09.259 --> 00:07:12.279 at times out of our control but we have the power 00:07:12.279 --> 00:07:16.420 to trick our mind into being stronger that's 00:07:16.420 --> 00:07:19.519 the beautiful thing about the mind like our survival 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:23.019 anxiety is nothing but a survival mechanism so 00:07:23.019 --> 00:07:25.180 if we kind of revert that survival mechanism 00:07:25.180 --> 00:07:28.199 in our favor and accept that hmm what am i why 00:07:28.199 --> 00:07:30.800 am i anxious about this i'm anxious about this 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:33.439 because i feel like i might do something wrong 00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:36.730 or i might say something incorrect okay well 00:07:36.730 --> 00:07:38.189 what's the worst thing that can happen if I say 00:07:38.189 --> 00:07:41.949 something incorrect I learned something new hmm 00:07:41.949 --> 00:07:46.149 there we go quiet that one you see what I mean 00:07:46.149 --> 00:07:50.110 so talking through it is really helpful when 00:07:50.110 --> 00:07:54.290 it comes to finding strength where you couldn't 00:07:54.290 --> 00:07:57.550 find it before when you have these issues that 00:07:57.550 --> 00:08:00.129 keep coming up and coming up and coming up in 00:08:00.129 --> 00:08:02.490 different forms and different fights with different 00:08:02.490 --> 00:08:06.860 people but the same kind of theme or motif This 00:08:06.860 --> 00:08:10.060 is a call to really take a step back and ask 00:08:10.060 --> 00:08:11.879 yourself. What can I do differently this time 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:19.259 that I've never done before? All right Let's 00:08:19.259 --> 00:08:23.000 talk a little bit about sinners And if you haven't 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:26.500 seen it spoiler alert kind of sorta But again, 00:08:26.500 --> 00:08:28.339 you need to see it and I don't really think I'm 00:08:28.339 --> 00:08:31.519 gonna say anything that gives The meat of the 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:33.580 story away. It's still worth seeing over and 00:08:33.580 --> 00:08:36.559 over again because it's quite quite dense with 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:43.980 information and so much. Any whom. Let's talk 00:08:43.980 --> 00:08:46.080 about the good things. There are many things 00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:49.120 that, you know, this is not a critiquing moment. 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.580 I want to highlight the things that we want to 00:08:52.580 --> 00:08:54.620 pull from this movie that are positive that we 00:08:54.620 --> 00:08:58.720 can bring into the real world. Let's talk about 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:02.259 Black community. Let's talk about freedom in 00:09:02.259 --> 00:09:03.759 the Black community and what it looks like in 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:06.970 a world where We're not allowed to be free really 00:09:06.970 --> 00:09:10.690 truly Sorry about that. I just touched my mic 00:09:10.690 --> 00:09:15.309 Anyway, yeah, I'm not gonna edit this down I'm 00:09:15.309 --> 00:09:16.950 just gonna post it because sometimes editing 00:09:16.950 --> 00:09:22.990 is what stops me from posting it so Yeah Let's 00:09:22.990 --> 00:09:26.029 talk about what it looks like to be free in a 00:09:26.029 --> 00:09:31.370 world that tries to condition us to be You know 00:09:31.370 --> 00:09:36.850 mental slaves mentally enslaved um Delta Slim 00:09:36.850 --> 00:09:39.870 said for a moment we'd be free he was talking 00:09:39.870 --> 00:09:42.210 about the juke joints you know the moment of 00:09:42.210 --> 00:09:45.909 self -expression of of of singing through the 00:09:45.909 --> 00:09:49.570 pain of dancing through the pain of shaking it 00:09:49.570 --> 00:09:54.549 out and being left with joy and expressing your 00:09:54.549 --> 00:09:57.250 most inner thoughts that maybe the church told 00:09:57.250 --> 00:10:01.309 you wouldn't so pure and one thing I would have 00:10:01.309 --> 00:10:04.289 really loved to see a queer relationship in this 00:10:04.289 --> 00:10:06.169 movie because I know that was happening at the 00:10:06.169 --> 00:10:08.690 juke joint. We all know that was happening. But 00:10:08.690 --> 00:10:11.590 yeah, like doing the things in society really 00:10:11.590 --> 00:10:15.529 encouraged us not to do because they knew that 00:10:15.529 --> 00:10:19.269 that was where the power lied. You know what 00:10:19.269 --> 00:10:22.590 I'm saying? So my grandma always talked about 00:10:22.590 --> 00:10:25.110 church as an idea. Doesn't have to be a place. 00:10:25.230 --> 00:10:31.940 And in my, in my spirit, in my church of thought, 00:10:32.519 --> 00:10:36.139 church is an activity as well, it's not just 00:10:36.139 --> 00:10:42.720 discussion, it's, it's release, church's release, 00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:46.000 it's release of all the quote demons that get 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:49.279 put on us by society, the demons of you can't 00:10:49.279 --> 00:10:51.480 sing, the demons of you can't dance, the demons 00:10:51.480 --> 00:10:53.860 of you can't be with this person, the demons 00:10:53.860 --> 00:10:56.659 of, you know, you're not allowed to this, that, 00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:00.139 and the third, what have you. um and so in the 00:11:00.139 --> 00:11:04.100 juke joint it was this ritual of release this 00:11:04.100 --> 00:11:07.899 ritual of community this this ritual of manifesting 00:11:07.899 --> 00:11:10.220 the dream that they want it for their future 00:11:10.220 --> 00:11:14.120 this dream of and i i think we saw that as as 00:11:14.120 --> 00:11:17.659 smoke is dying we saw it his life or i don't 00:11:17.659 --> 00:11:19.860 know if it was the past or the future flash before 00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:22.919 his eyes i think it was this dream of this community 00:11:22.919 --> 00:11:25.139 that he had after, you know, the juke joint was 00:11:25.139 --> 00:11:26.980 thumping and they got their money going and they 00:11:26.980 --> 00:11:29.100 set roots and, you know, this became a regular 00:11:29.100 --> 00:11:33.320 thing. I think he saw that when we see that vision 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:36.580 of, you know, everybody passing food and smiling 00:11:36.580 --> 00:11:39.720 at one another and so -and -so is over here, 00:11:39.820 --> 00:11:42.039 as he's dying, as he's smoking this cigarette, 00:11:42.340 --> 00:11:44.440 I think that that was really what he wanted for 00:11:44.440 --> 00:11:55.779 his people. And yeah. that movie, if all media 00:11:55.779 --> 00:12:02.059 is hypnotic, then why not be hypnot, words, why 00:12:02.059 --> 00:12:04.539 not be hypnotized for the better, why not be 00:12:04.539 --> 00:12:08.460 hypnotized with a dream of what our ancestors 00:12:08.460 --> 00:12:12.960 want for us, why not be hypnotized with the spirit 00:12:12.960 --> 00:12:15.240 of abundance, with the spirit of we have everything 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:17.519 we need here, we don't need anything from anywhere 00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:20.279 else, because the reason why the vampires got 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:23.929 in is because stack was so concerned about making 00:12:23.929 --> 00:12:27.070 money making money you know proving to his brother 00:12:27.070 --> 00:12:29.509 yeah we can do this we can be just like them 00:12:29.509 --> 00:12:32.490 we can set he was so concerned with making a 00:12:32.490 --> 00:12:36.350 coin that he ignored everybody's impulse which 00:12:36.350 --> 00:12:39.389 was leave them dudes where they lie leave them 00:12:39.389 --> 00:12:42.669 dudes outside and little miss hailey thinking 00:12:42.669 --> 00:12:45.570 she could link link communities walked outside 00:12:45.570 --> 00:12:50.820 and ignored oh girl annie because honestly let's 00:12:50.820 --> 00:12:53.039 talk about it Annie was the conscience of the 00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:55.539 movie and had they listened to her in the first 00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:57.480 place none of this would be going down but that's 00:12:57.480 --> 00:13:00.820 a whole other episode in itself so let's focus 00:13:00.820 --> 00:13:02.740 on what we're talking about here we're talking 00:13:02.740 --> 00:13:07.860 about letting the status quo be your detriment 00:13:07.860 --> 00:13:12.580 if Stack had just ignored that and had just relished 00:13:12.580 --> 00:13:14.899 in the joy that they were creating in that moment 00:13:14.899 --> 00:13:18.480 it would have been alright if he had just released 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:20.799 to the present, if he had just went with the 00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:25.779 flow, I think things would have been okay that 00:13:25.779 --> 00:13:29.539 night. And so it's really interesting when we 00:13:29.539 --> 00:13:31.820 think about in our day to day, and when I think 00:13:31.820 --> 00:13:37.240 about it in my day to day, what does it look 00:13:37.240 --> 00:13:42.639 like to really be successful? Smoke said, you 00:13:42.639 --> 00:13:44.259 know, we figured we'd deal with the devil we 00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:46.539 know. We didn't want to grind and risk our lives 00:13:46.539 --> 00:13:48.730 doing this, this, that, and the third. So we 00:13:48.730 --> 00:13:50.570 figured we'd do something that really, really 00:13:50.570 --> 00:13:54.009 served us from top to bottom. And I love that 00:13:54.009 --> 00:13:58.049 for them. But what does that look like for me? 00:13:58.149 --> 00:13:59.769 What does that look like for you listening to 00:13:59.769 --> 00:14:04.909 this? How does that, how does your true joy look 00:14:04.909 --> 00:14:07.529 in this society? How does true community, how 00:14:07.529 --> 00:14:10.470 does true success, how does that look to you? 00:14:10.509 --> 00:14:17.840 And at what cost? So... I've really been sitting 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:22.919 with this notion of choosing my, where my energy 00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:27.500 is dispelled, choosing wisely, really, um, divvying 00:14:27.500 --> 00:14:32.580 my presence wisely, being stingy with my light, 00:14:32.919 --> 00:14:40.700 um, and yeah, just being very careful where I, 00:14:42.019 --> 00:14:44.980 let's see. Where I what's the word I'm looking 00:14:44.980 --> 00:14:48.320 for being careful where I place my energy I guess 00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:52.679 and going back to what I said about dealing with 00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:58.500 the devil we know and You know trying not to 00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:02.200 let the status quo be your detriment right now 00:15:02.200 --> 00:15:05.240 I'm not sure what that looks like for me, and 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:08.340 that's okay, and if you're in that place especially 00:15:08.340 --> 00:15:11.159 with the world being what it is That's okay, 00:15:11.299 --> 00:15:17.789 too Um, sit with what really brings you joy. 00:15:17.909 --> 00:15:21.129 What comes naturally to you that feels effortless? 00:15:21.409 --> 00:15:24.909 How can you feed that? Stop being afraid to dream. 00:15:25.889 --> 00:15:33.029 Belief plus action. Oops, words. Manifestation 00:15:33.029 --> 00:15:38.679 equals belief plus action. There we go. Um. My 00:15:38.679 --> 00:15:40.879 spirit has been so tired over the past like two 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:44.259 weeks and so I'm just trying to Process things 00:15:44.259 --> 00:15:47.919 carefully and speak carefully. But yeah, if you 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:52.299 believe in something Just do it Especially if 00:15:52.299 --> 00:15:55.379 you don't have you know, I mean I have a child 00:15:55.379 --> 00:15:57.480 that I have to think about so, of course when 00:15:57.480 --> 00:16:01.519 I make choices I have to think about Carter However, 00:16:01.539 --> 00:16:02.940 if you don't have anything time to have it's 00:16:02.940 --> 00:16:06.559 just you just do the thing just go take the trip 00:16:06.559 --> 00:16:08.960 and try the thing do you know how many times 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:11.159 i've like just taken the leap and taken a trip 00:16:11.159 --> 00:16:13.919 somewhere and like signed myself up for an activity 00:16:13.919 --> 00:16:16.080 and then i leave with so many new connections 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:19.460 and inspiration that honestly propels me into 00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:23.240 a new reality and i think that that's pretty 00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:27.860 much what life's about um don't let people tell 00:16:27.860 --> 00:16:31.279 you who you are know who you are going back to 00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:35.080 sinners when sammy Left that party left that 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:37.299 juke joint ran home and his dad told him to give 00:16:37.299 --> 00:16:40.059 up his sinning ways and he left home with that 00:16:40.059 --> 00:16:43.039 guitar in hand and If you sat through those credits 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:45.139 and you saw at the end Sammy is sitting and seeing 00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:49.720 this little light of mine. I think that that's 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:53.379 To me that felt like him acknowledging that his 00:16:53.379 --> 00:16:55.600 light was more powerful than any darkness that 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:58.730 anybody put on him Because it wasn't him saying 00:16:58.730 --> 00:17:00.610 yeah, this is evil what I'm doing. It was everybody 00:17:00.610 --> 00:17:02.909 else telling him that he was gonna Oh, this is 00:17:02.909 --> 00:17:05.430 gonna, you know drain you and you're gonna be 00:17:05.430 --> 00:17:07.250 miserable. This is at the third But Sammy said 00:17:07.250 --> 00:17:10.210 nah y 'all can keep that I'm gonna do what I 00:17:10.210 --> 00:17:12.549 know that I am put here to do and I'm gonna do 00:17:12.549 --> 00:17:16.269 it my way So know who you are and don't let them 00:17:16.269 --> 00:17:20.769 tell you who you are Delta slim really pushed 00:17:20.769 --> 00:17:23.269 again. I'm one of my favorite characters in that 00:17:23.269 --> 00:17:26.710 movie Delta slim um because he showed sammy what 00:17:26.710 --> 00:17:29.710 he could be you know if he leaned into the darkness 00:17:29.710 --> 00:17:31.809 that people put on him but he let sammy know 00:17:31.809 --> 00:17:33.589 no this is where you're meant to be you're meant 00:17:33.589 --> 00:17:36.970 to be here with us but he can go and do something 00:17:36.970 --> 00:17:40.230 different with it as everything was going down 00:17:40.230 --> 00:17:42.289 sammy almost left his guitar behind but delta 00:17:42.289 --> 00:17:44.609 slim passed it back to him and he said you know 00:17:44.609 --> 00:17:46.269 what slammy i danced sammy i danced with the 00:17:46.269 --> 00:17:51.190 devil before i got this you go you go sammy and 00:17:51.190 --> 00:17:55.680 again this movie is just so beautiful The credit 00:17:55.680 --> 00:18:01.279 scene to me again shows us that it's up to us 00:18:01.279 --> 00:18:05.480 What are you gonna do who are you gonna be If 00:18:05.480 --> 00:18:08.660 it's hard so what if you start to feel pulled 00:18:08.660 --> 00:18:12.920 towards that that darkness Claw your way back 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:16.180 to the light If somebody don't make you feel 00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:18.299 good get them out of your life if somebody makes 00:18:18.299 --> 00:18:20.380 you feel less than get them out of your circle 00:18:20.750 --> 00:18:23.789 sit with things and people and places that make 00:18:23.789 --> 00:18:26.329 you feel good about who you are, that make you 00:18:26.329 --> 00:18:28.690 lean into your gifts. And if you don't have that, 00:18:28.789 --> 00:18:33.849 go find it. How do you do that? For me personally, 00:18:33.930 --> 00:18:36.809 there are Facebook groups that you can look into. 00:18:37.309 --> 00:18:38.769 If there are communities that you're curious 00:18:38.769 --> 00:18:41.430 about, look into a Facebook group that resembles 00:18:41.430 --> 00:18:43.529 that community. Like let's say you live in Florida, 00:18:43.670 --> 00:18:47.509 look up, let's say you live in Orlando, gardening 00:18:47.509 --> 00:18:51.240 communities in Orlando. You know, that's really 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:55.059 where it starts Look up local community events 00:18:55.059 --> 00:18:58.960 like markets Supermarkets for one thing specifically 00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:01.460 ones that have vendors. You can meet a lot of 00:19:01.460 --> 00:19:05.579 like -minded people at markets It's hard making 00:19:05.579 --> 00:19:07.220 connections as an adult especially ones that 00:19:07.220 --> 00:19:09.680 you trust But you're definitely not gonna find 00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:12.779 that if you isolate and this is me talking to 00:19:12.779 --> 00:19:15.539 myself as well You're not gonna find it if you 00:19:15.539 --> 00:19:18.319 isolate you're not gonna Your gifts are not gonna 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:21.700 chase you. Your blessings are not gonna chase 00:19:21.700 --> 00:19:24.740 you. You're gonna have to do the work. They're 00:19:24.740 --> 00:19:27.599 gonna fly by you in your path, in your sphere, 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:31.619 and you're gonna have to reach out. And reaching 00:19:31.619 --> 00:19:33.660 out, it's in your sphere, but you gotta catch 00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:46.589 it. All right, on to the next point. Again, In 00:19:46.589 --> 00:19:53.430 the spirit of acknowledging that media is hypnotic, 00:19:54.130 --> 00:19:58.009 why not lean into media that hypnotizes us for 00:19:58.009 --> 00:20:03.829 the right things? I talked about Plaything in 00:20:03.829 --> 00:20:07.410 my last episode and that episode pretty much 00:20:07.410 --> 00:20:10.589 sums it up. A collective hypnosis for the greater 00:20:10.589 --> 00:20:13.049 good. And I feel like this movie is a step in 00:20:13.049 --> 00:20:17.180 the right direction. because it encouraged so 00:20:17.180 --> 00:20:21.140 many people just in my life to connect with their 00:20:21.140 --> 00:20:25.019 ancestry. One, having a connection to our ancestry 00:20:25.019 --> 00:20:28.240 is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Knowing where 00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:30.660 we come from is huge when it comes to knowing 00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:33.180 who we can be and what we are. Because when I 00:20:33.180 --> 00:20:35.480 tell y 'all, when I found out some of the things 00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:37.920 I found out about my ancestors freed me from 00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:43.230 a lot of the... I guess generational patterns 00:20:43.230 --> 00:20:47.049 I had seen with my own eyes. You know, knowing 00:20:47.049 --> 00:20:49.269 that, okay, these are the things that I have 00:20:49.269 --> 00:20:51.069 seen in my bloodline, but these are the things 00:20:51.069 --> 00:20:53.230 that I didn't know about my bloodline. So that's 00:20:53.230 --> 00:20:56.509 within me too. And even though, yeah, we can 00:20:56.509 --> 00:20:58.569 pull power from ourselves, sometimes it helps 00:20:58.569 --> 00:21:02.880 to have that image. And so the fact that this 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:05.259 movie encourages us to dig deeper into who we 00:21:05.259 --> 00:21:07.559 are, who our family is and where our power comes 00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:10.940 from and where our bloodline sits, I think that's 00:21:10.940 --> 00:21:15.920 lovely and I think that's necessary. Psalm 32, 00:21:16.339 --> 00:21:18.799 that is one of the most powerful manifestation 00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:22.680 and protective prayers and statements, chants, 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:24.740 whatever you want to call it. And we all need 00:21:24.740 --> 00:21:32.160 to know it. I will. I'll delve into how I feel 00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:35.500 about the fact that Remick can state that prayer 00:21:35.500 --> 00:21:37.900 and said, you know, years ago a man stepped on 00:21:37.900 --> 00:21:40.779 my family's land and, you know, forced these 00:21:40.779 --> 00:21:42.480 words upon my family but they still bring me 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:44.319 comfort. I'll talk a little bit more about that 00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:46.740 another time because that is very significant 00:21:46.740 --> 00:21:51.140 in the overall arc of what I'm talking about. 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:57.519 But, yeah. Let's emphasize media that hypnotizes 00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:00.460 us for the sake of community, awakening, embracing 00:22:00.460 --> 00:22:05.059 ownership, advocating for yourself, reminding 00:22:05.059 --> 00:22:07.059 us to be the light for one another when the world 00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:10.200 is constantly whispering us to do the opposite. 00:22:10.900 --> 00:22:13.740 There's so much division and let's not get into 00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:16.880 this spiel about divisiveness because for the 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:18.259 people who think I'm talking to them, I'm not 00:22:18.259 --> 00:22:22.099 talking to you. I'm not talking about divisal. 00:22:22.099 --> 00:22:24.039 Oh, yeah, let's not talk about race because we're 00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:26.059 dividing. No, let's talk about it because we 00:22:26.059 --> 00:22:27.720 need to embrace the difference and we need to 00:22:27.720 --> 00:22:30.400 see where the commonalities are and where we've 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:34.039 been systemically pushed away from one another, 00:22:34.099 --> 00:22:37.519 where we actually, you know, where the math ain't 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:40.440 math in it, where we could actually be lifting 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:44.720 one another up instead of competing. There's 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:54.119 room for everyone. Yeah. So I also want to talk 00:22:54.119 --> 00:23:02.059 about how Sinners and freedom watching the vindication 00:23:02.059 --> 00:23:07.099 in front of us against the Klan was really something 00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:10.420 I did not know that we needed to see because 00:23:10.420 --> 00:23:13.200 I think that Most and I'm sorry if you hear me 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:15.119 scratching my chest right now But I think that 00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.019 most of the movies that we've seen in the past, 00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:20.039 especially movies that revolve around race and 00:23:20.039 --> 00:23:21.980 things like that they give us kind of the pity 00:23:21.980 --> 00:23:24.940 ending that's like bittersweet you know we gotta 00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:27.220 lose something and you know this one was still 00:23:27.220 --> 00:23:31.640 bittersweet but it really felt good to see them 00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:34.119 get murked the way that they murked us over and 00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:36.799 over and over again and honestly the way that 00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.759 we've seen it on screen over and over and over 00:23:38.759 --> 00:23:41.859 again without any reluctance nobody felt reluctance 00:23:41.859 --> 00:23:43.460 for our feelings when they were putting lynching 00:23:43.460 --> 00:23:47.880 after lynching after lynching on screens So it 00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:50.119 felt really good to be vindicated in that moment 00:23:50.119 --> 00:23:55.200 and sorry, watch the same thing happen. It didn't 00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:57.059 feel like, I mean, obviously you're not going 00:23:57.059 --> 00:24:00.359 to, you know, I'm not talking about encouraging 00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:02.579 people to find joy out of hurting others. That's 00:24:02.579 --> 00:24:04.779 not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 00:24:04.779 --> 00:24:09.380 seeing, seeing a karmic, seeing a karmic resolution 00:24:09.380 --> 00:24:11.700 in real time, even on a screen was really nice. 00:24:11.900 --> 00:24:15.900 There we go. That sums it up. And the knowledge 00:24:15.900 --> 00:24:20.000 of the possibility, and not just about this, 00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:22.420 but about anything, the knowledge of possibility 00:24:22.420 --> 00:24:25.279 is enough to plant the seed of the dream. And 00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:29.619 the dream is so powerful because I, in my heart 00:24:29.619 --> 00:24:31.740 of hearts, I know that a thought alone is enough 00:24:31.740 --> 00:24:34.380 to create that reality, even if it's not in the 00:24:34.380 --> 00:24:37.420 dimension before you. There's a lot that we don't 00:24:37.420 --> 00:24:38.940 know about this life and there's a lot that we 00:24:38.940 --> 00:24:40.619 don't know about this world and this reality 00:24:40.619 --> 00:24:45.200 we live in, but I really... truly feel and if 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:47.079 you're with me stay with me this is where the 00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:49.259 folks who really are my folks are probably going 00:24:49.259 --> 00:24:51.980 to stay and the folks who are not about what 00:24:51.980 --> 00:24:53.619 i'm about are going to leave and that's okay 00:24:53.619 --> 00:24:56.819 i've enjoyed having you um but i'm very spiritual 00:24:56.819 --> 00:24:59.019 and i truly believe that a thought is powerful 00:24:59.019 --> 00:25:01.700 enough to create a reality somewhere somewhere 00:25:01.700 --> 00:25:05.359 else that i can't see if there are so many versions 00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:11.519 of us you know in these quote unquote black holes 00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:16.319 and if they can sense timelines moving in reverse 00:25:16.319 --> 00:25:20.799 in a black hole like, you know, who am I to believe 00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:23.960 that I am the most extraordinary thing on this 00:25:23.960 --> 00:25:25.980 planet to the extent that there couldn't be something 00:25:25.980 --> 00:25:30.460 just like me somewhere else? You know, I think 00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:33.140 we all need to be open to all possibility and 00:25:33.140 --> 00:25:36.519 I think that part of believing in God or the 00:25:36.519 --> 00:25:40.259 energy of God or the energy of creation is understanding 00:25:40.259 --> 00:25:43.559 that creation is so vast. You gotta leave room. 00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:48.400 Stop trying to put creation in a box. Okay? But 00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:55.460 any whom. I want to circle back to where I started. 00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:59.160 This was very much you getting to sit in my brain. 00:26:01.599 --> 00:26:04.099 But let's circle back to where I started, releasing 00:26:04.099 --> 00:26:09.220 control and understanding that the need to release 00:26:09.220 --> 00:26:15.940 control and responsibility. Like, you cannot. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:20.339 I have OCD, y 'all. I have OCD, I have ADHD, 00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:26.640 I have AASD, and I have PTSD. These things are 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:29.180 not my personality. They do not define me. They 00:26:29.180 --> 00:26:31.859 are personality traits. I work through them and 00:26:31.859 --> 00:26:36.019 around them. We're learning. Again, I'm learning 00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:38.420 how I address my anxiety even and how I speak 00:26:38.420 --> 00:26:40.900 about it. Oh and let's not call it my anxiety 00:26:40.900 --> 00:26:45.259 I'm learning how I address My anxious feelings 00:26:45.259 --> 00:26:47.880 about certain situations because we all have 00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:50.660 anxious feelings We don't have to claim that 00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:53.700 as you know almost this other entity that sticks 00:26:53.700 --> 00:26:57.440 to us So I release that and I hope you do too 00:26:57.440 --> 00:27:01.500 Yeah, we all go through things and our body takes 00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:06.130 on different Takes on that responsibility in 00:27:06.130 --> 00:27:10.589 different ways So as I go inward and keep growing 00:27:10.589 --> 00:27:14.650 Those pains that I feel just keep screaming at 00:27:14.650 --> 00:27:17.150 me to release release that control and just truly 00:27:17.150 --> 00:27:19.450 accept things moment to moment because the more 00:27:19.450 --> 00:27:22.569 I try to fight that The more stressed I feel 00:27:22.569 --> 00:27:24.549 and the more I release that the more balance 00:27:24.549 --> 00:27:30.730 I find The more I take it as case by case the 00:27:30.730 --> 00:27:33.430 more I have to lean in my strength the more I 00:27:33.430 --> 00:27:35.309 have to accept that everything that is is and 00:27:35.309 --> 00:27:37.049 everything that will be will be and all I can 00:27:37.049 --> 00:27:42.269 do is lean in my power. I'm learning how to not 00:27:42.269 --> 00:27:44.569 enable myself, I'm learning how to not be so 00:27:44.569 --> 00:27:48.609 stubborn with myself. It's not always easy to 00:27:48.609 --> 00:27:51.150 do things that are like uncomfortable but again 00:27:51.150 --> 00:27:53.710 there's no growth if you're not uncomfortable. 00:27:57.109 --> 00:27:59.970 I'll leave you with this because my brain is 00:27:59.970 --> 00:28:04.789 getting tired. As an adult trying to find that 00:28:04.789 --> 00:28:07.029 all -in crowd if you're like me you're the kind 00:28:07.029 --> 00:28:13.250 of person who I Love very hard and when I bring 00:28:13.250 --> 00:28:17.119 someone into my life I intend to like, it's giving 00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:19.960 Wolfpack imprint. Like I intend to imprint. If 00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:21.880 you're not ready to imprint with me, if you're 00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.140 not ready to ride or die, if you're not ready 00:28:24.140 --> 00:28:26.039 to do our best to move through the shit show 00:28:26.039 --> 00:28:29.119 that is life, nope, let's reframe. If you're 00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:31.140 not ready to do your best to lift one another 00:28:31.140 --> 00:28:33.380 up through the obstacles of life, like and I 00:28:33.380 --> 00:28:37.759 mean like through all hardships, like a covenant. 00:28:37.980 --> 00:28:40.839 It truly, friendships are covenants, okay? And 00:28:40.839 --> 00:28:42.380 if we're making covenants with people who are 00:28:42.380 --> 00:28:44.279 not truly all -in with us, what are we doing? 00:28:44.339 --> 00:28:46.559 We're giving energy where it's not being reciprocated. 00:28:47.059 --> 00:28:52.839 So, I'm learning how to truly, slowly, because 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:55.039 I'm not good at it yet, but I'm getting there. 00:28:55.700 --> 00:28:59.339 I'm learning how to discern, how to find the 00:28:59.339 --> 00:29:01.799 quote, all -in people. Those people that are 00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:04.680 willing to do for you, like you do for them, 00:29:04.819 --> 00:29:09.099 truly. Without it being a transaction those people 00:29:09.099 --> 00:29:11.819 that are willing to if you say hey like I'm having 00:29:11.819 --> 00:29:13.720 a hard time They're willing to like say hey. 00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:16.220 Hey job. I gotta take two days. I gotta go check 00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:19.579 on a friend Like you know what I'm saying. It's 00:29:19.579 --> 00:29:21.440 hard to find people like that, but that is very 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:28.220 necessary Too many of us don't find out about 00:29:28.220 --> 00:29:31.460 things until it's too late ie friends who are 00:29:31.460 --> 00:29:37.200 not okay ie family who is not okay I've given 00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:39.539 a lot of my energy in the past to checking on 00:29:39.539 --> 00:29:41.819 folks, and quite honestly, I'm at a point in 00:29:41.819 --> 00:29:43.859 my life where I need to step back from doing 00:29:43.859 --> 00:29:48.680 that. So, if I'm not checking on you, it's not 00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:52.500 personal. I'm working on me. And that's okay. 00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:59.059 People are allowed to do that. But, yeah. Good 00:29:59.059 --> 00:30:02.059 luck finding your people. You can do it. And 00:30:02.059 --> 00:30:04.039 if your people is you right now, that's alright. 00:30:04.299 --> 00:30:07.019 if your people is your child right now that's 00:30:07.019 --> 00:30:11.619 all right again finding that balance between 00:30:11.619 --> 00:30:14.599 being their parent and not leaning on them codependently 00:30:14.599 --> 00:30:21.000 of course um but be know what you deserve stop 00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:25.279 settling stop settling for people who drain you 00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:29.759 okay and stop settling for not doing the things 00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:31.539 that you know are going to feed your spirit even 00:30:31.539 --> 00:30:34.119 if they're hard to do even if You know, hey, 00:30:34.119 --> 00:30:35.940 I need to go to the park today, but I really 00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:38.740 am tired. My body aches. I could use a nap. Today's 00:30:38.740 --> 00:30:40.480 the only day I can nap. That nap is gonna be 00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:45.480 great, but you better get outside. Okay? All 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:49.079 right, y 'all. I think that is all for today. 00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:56.839 I hope you all walk into this week taking a breath. 00:30:57.220 --> 00:31:00.920 Take it as it comes. Stop trying to rush your 00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:08.400 healing. Yeah, take it as it comes and breathe. 00:31:10.220 --> 00:31:13.319 Thank you for sitting with me. I look forward 00:31:13.319 --> 00:31:15.880 to talking to y 'all next Sunday. Hopefully we'll 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:18.339 see again. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm 00:31:18.339 --> 00:31:21.359 just human. All right, y 'all. Bye bye.