Trashcan presents calling into an IT support desk.
Hi, thank you for calling M5 Industries help desk. How may I help you?
Uh, yes, my name is Sarah from Bozeman, Montana. And uh, I got a problem here. Uh, I can't seem to power on my computer.
Well, let me ask you, if you really are from Montana, are you able to hit the big button that says power next to it?
Uh, I don't see that over there. I'm from Bozeman, Montana. I don't understand.
Oh, that's that's that's air apparent. That's really apparent. Listen, I don't have the rights or credentials to, uh,
unfortunately, provide this service at this time to help you with that. I am going to have to transfer you.
Well, let me speak to your manager. Let me speak to your manager. Here's what we're going to do.
We're going to transfer you to our other department. It's our hardware department. They're very good at this sort of thing.
They'll be able to help you out further. Okay. All right. I'm going to go ahead and transfer you.
Oh, yeah. This is Steve from hardware. Yes. This is Sarah from Bozeman, Montana.
I can't get my power to turn on and they told me that I need to talk to you guys.
Well, I don't know. I told you to come over here. We don't handle anything to do with power buttons or anything like that.
It's only if your computer is... The guy told me that I was getting transferred to you guys and you guys knew what you were talking about.
Hold on. Let's let's put you in a brief hold very quick.
Okay. I'm back. Are you still there with me? This is ridiculous. Here in Bozeman, Montana, we don't do things like that.
And if you... I am the senior VIP CEO, MLKG, our representative, and at my company, we don't run things like that.
Now, I would like to speak to you. Supervised. Okay. If you'd like to speak to them, it will be a five minute wait.
And we will have to... No, no, no, no, no. I would like to speak to them now. Okay. Please hold.
Uh, yes. This is the supervisor. I have been on hold for 25 hours trying to get my power button to turn on.
You guys keep giving me the rudder round. What am I dealing with here? Listen, ma'am, I make $7.50 an hour.
I'm shugging down cigarettes left and right. I've literally had my eighth coffee in the last 30 minutes.
I'm literally crapping bricks. Okay. I don't have time for this. I don't know who you are. I don't know who you think you are.
I'm going to put you on hold and I'm going to get you back to the right place.
You know what? I'm just going to go to Best Buy.
Hi, I'm Michael and I'm Chris and that was your IT prop. I mean, I mean, sorry, DonaBox podcast. This is DonaBox podcast.
All right. We are on episode 19, 19, the big old one night. We're one away from 20 for the season.
19 episodes and counting. I'm 19. Just kidding. You used to say I'm 18.
But anyways, we welcome all of you listeners from Belgium, from Spain, from Kansas, Florida, Georgia, Texas, Ireland, the UK, Australia, India, Singapore.
Hey, Canada. Can't forget Canada. Oh, Canada. We love all you guys. And if you're brand new, welcome.
The way this works is each segment has a different donut and the first donut is the old fashioned donut, which is a story from our past.
Now, I have to tell on myself for a little bit. No, no, no. Can I tell on you?
Okay. I'll let you go ahead and tell it and then I'll come back and correct it.
All right. So this week, we're going to be talking about one of Christopher's relationships and essentially what happened.
Yeah, it was with somebody else. But this gal, we've kind of talked about it before.
She was my head coach's daughter and Chris took a like into her and she came to our church a few times.
There was a problem, however. She was, I wouldn't even call him a friend. He was more like an acquaintance, a goofy acquaintance.
And she was dating this guy and essentially what ended up happening was, listen, the girl was flirting around.
I will admit, she had eyes for my boy. We all knew it. And the other dude, well, his mama was a little, a little too helicoptery.
You know what I'm saying? Said you can't see her no more. And so my boy Chris swooped in and the old boy got a little mad.
And so we get to talk about when they had a little discussion about it.
Let me backtrack for you, man. Let me backtrack for you. So what happened was Michael was right. Yes.
This friend, we'll call him Sven. Sven had his helicopter mom and his helicopter mom basically banned him from seeing this girl.
And so they had tried and they had tried and they had tried and basically it was pretty much over.
I was the rebound friend. I was the one that she was going to with all of her problems.
She was crying on my shoulder and all that kind of stuff. I actually liked her other friend at the time.
A couple of months down the road. Even named her car after.
Anyway, it's quit line, man. Quit line. So a couple of months down the road comes out that she likes me and I'm like, oh, well,
being a 18 year old kid senior in high school, no one had ever really liked me before. So I was like, oh, okay.
And I had kind of liked her. And so I was like, well, let's start dating.
So we started dating and this caused problems for old Sven because I did break the bro code. I did break the bro code.
It's not cool to go out with one of your acquaintances or your friends exes.
So he was a pretty, he was pretty mad about that. But these were extraordinary times. I'm just going to,
you know, I'm going to defend my friend here. It was extraordinary times. I mean, his mom told him,
nay, you don't have a choice. Mommy told you, no, she's on to the next guy. And the next guy happens to be my homie, Chris.
I appreciate the defense here. So I did, I didn't break the bro code. He was not happy about that.
Very not happy about that. So he was like, we need to talk. And I was like, oh man.
And he was like, we're going to meet at the local Bojangles, which Bojangles is like this little breakfast place.
He was like, be there at eight o'clock. He's like, we're going to talk.
And me, I'm not going to back down from nothing because I was like, I know pansy.
But Michael was like, he was like, I'm going to go just so you got some backup. So you got some protection.
And I was like, thanks, man. You're a real friend. I think he was trying to make up for the whole me
riding in the back of his truck incident. He was like, or Mr. Rice. He was like, who's like,
my friends was there for me. I'm going to be there. My friend. So I just remember it was very in my mind.
It played out very mob like, I'm sure it wasn't this way, but I remember we get to the breakfast
and we're sitting there and I'm sitting on one side of the table.
Michael's sitting next to me and then spend. And I think there was somebody else there with him.
Or was it just him? Oh, no, there was somebody with him. All right. It was our old communist friend
that went to your school. Oh yeah. We'll call him. We'll call him. What? What are we going to call him?
Joseph. We'll call him Joseph. For Joseph's style. Because this guy was a full on communist.
Full on. So Joseph was there and Sven was there. And I remember it was just kind of like this little
kind of quiet tension. So we're getting there and talking. And I just remember he asked Micah to leave.
Sven did. He was like, hey, I need to talk to Chris real quick. He was like, Joseph Scram.
And then he was like, Micah Scram. And I was just sitting there across the table and in my mind,
I put myself in a Clint Eastwood movie. I was like, oh, what's going to go down?
I didn't know what was going to go down. What were you thinking during this whole time?
So I had my truck. You remember the stories about the old truck? I was on the tailgate of this truck.
And because it was it was on a Sunday morning, like we were going to have to go to church afterwards.
So we were about to head over there. And I just remember sitting on the tailgate of that truck.
And oh, Joseph, he didn't he didn't hang out with me at all. I don't know where he went when he left,
but he wasn't with me. And all I know is I was sitting there was, you know, the whole place
was kind of windowed. And so I was sitting in the tailgate, like watching in there, like,
make it sure he don't swing. That's all that matters is just make sure there wasn't any sort of big
confrontation or anything like that. I was just sitting there like, I wonder what they're talking
about. I knew I knew it wasn't good. And I knew he was probably upset. But really, the only thing
I was worried about was him abruptly swinging on you or something.
Yeah. And I just remember him talking to me and he was very upset about it. And I mean,
I didn't buck up or nothing. But I was like, if he swings, I'm a lot of swing first,
he's going to get one. And this guy was like significantly bigger, way bigger.
He's slightly bigger than me. And I know most people don't know my dimensions, but like I'm
a decent sized guy. I'm 6'4". He was about my height. I mean, he was, he's not a small dude.
Yeah. And so I was like, he'll get, he'll get at least one on me. And so, but then after that,
all bets are off. Go down swinging. So I just remember him talking and he was upset. But then,
I guess he kind of made peace with it because he was like, he was like, just make sure you take
care of her. Don't hurt her and all that good stuff. And make sure you buy her not red roses
because she doesn't like that. And I was like, okay, I know full, I'm with her. You're not
spitting. Your little mommy told you you couldn't be with her. So I, and I guess he's still mad
about it to this day. I think he is. No, he is. Because we, when we moved out to Lubbock,
of course, I still had some, I still had some contacts back, back east, you know,
and most of them were like, yeah, he spread a rumor that y'all were gay after y'all left.
I was just like, yeah, he's still hurt. He's still hurt. Yeah, he is, which is not, which the
rumor is not true at all. But at the same time, man, he is one of those people still where he is
like living in his high school days. And those are like the best days of his life. And so, you
know, Sven, I doubt you're listening. But if you are, I'm sorry, man. I was 18 year old kid, but
you got to kind of get old. You can kiss my ass. You can kiss my ass. I guess you're still,
are you still upset about it? I said you could cut that part out, but no.
Oh, I was just gonna leave it in there. But anyways, all right, so we're going to move into our next
segment, which is the jelly donut. And that's the jail report.
What do you say private pile? Sir, jelly donut, sir. A jelly donut.
Micah, what do you got for us? I'm so excited for these. These have been,
okay, so the very first one, you won't ever believe this one. I'm just gonna,
I'm gonna skip the headline and I'm just gonna read you the story. After days of searching for a
mystery pooper, and this is at a high school, high school football field, somebody was pooping on
their field apparently. So after searching for the mystery pooper, the police finally found their
man. It was the superintendent from the district next door. The 42 year old pleaded guilty in
October to defecating in public and surveillance camera had caught him in the act. I mean, I'm
sorry. That's pretty funny to me. Like the fact that a 42 year old man, and he was a superintendent
of another school's district. So he is literally like the head leader in charge. This man is so petty
that he is stuiting to that. No, it gets better. There's, there's, there's even a better part to
it. So he was forced to resign his job and everything like that. So his, his, him and his
attorney countersued the county for defamation and said that his client had runner's diarrhea,
which is condition that often causes runner, a distance runner to lose their bowels at a
random time essentially. And the football field where he was running just happened to be the one
where he constantly lost his bowels. And there was no evidence that he was ever a serial offender,
that that was a once or twice a deal thing, that that was the only time he pooped on the field.
So it was just a once or twice thing. They're saying no. They're saying that the, the school
district saying that this happened at least 10 times. But the lawyer is saying that it only
happened a couple of times and it was due to runner's diarrhea. That's an interesting defense
argument. What happened with that court case? Do you know how he was charged? Deficating in public,
which I don't, I don't think that was defecating in public is probably not a big thing. It probably
was more like a fine or probation or something. So instead of defamation of character, it was
probably defecation of character. You're exactly right. You're exactly right. All right. So the
next one. So a suspected burglar breaks into an escape room and can't figure out how to escape.
Wow. That's funny. Why was he breaking in there? So of course, it's a, it's a fear of a lot of
people to do the escape rooms and it's like, oh, I might never get out. Well, police in Washington
say that a man broke into an escape room. Damaged the property so badly he really couldn't escape. So
apparently he didn't know how to use the lock and the front door was stuck. So the suspect
allegedly called 911 several times from inside the room, which led the police to his location.
But apparently he had torn everything up. I didn't say what he was trying to steal or anything,
but apparently he tore up the place trying to get out. So he was actually in one of the escape
rooms or he was just in the front. He was, he was in one of the escape rooms. That's crazy. I wonder
how he got in there because whenever you go to an escape room, they have the lobby out front and
then they have the rooms like down the hallway and to the side. But yeah, it is hard. Like you
really got to try to figure it out. And sometimes in escape rooms, they like give you a hint and
they can give you hints and clues. And I've had to do that several times. And if you don't know
what you're doing, oh man, yeah, you're, you're stuck. And what they say in the report is the,
the room was called the puzzle room. So I don't know what that's supposed to be, but apparently
I guess you're supposed to solve a series of puzzles to be able to get out. This guy just tore
up the whole place. So he was charged with secondary burglary. And then also, I'll say just
secondary burglary, I think I would think that he would have been charged for tearing up the place,
but so the next one here, a man's rap music video. So he was making a rap music video,
gets him arrested in Los Angeles. So a man decided that he was going to do his rap music video
on top of the one interstate 110, the sixth street exit. So one of those big green exit signs over
the freeway, he decided to dance and have a dance crew and also film during live traffic in the
middle of the day. He dramatically back flipped off the sign into an inflatable landing pad below
and got like judges scorecards and all this other weird stuff. But meanwhile, what ended up happening
was it disrupted traffic and shut down three lanes of traffic for at least four hours. None of it
had a permit or anything like that. So he was arrested, including trespassing on state property,
suspicion of delaying a police officer, all sorts of weird tacked on charges. But yeah,
this guy was a little brazen. I mean, he literally was back flipping off of a
traffic sign onto an inflatable pad on the ground in the middle of traffic.
So how do you stop three lanes of traffic for four hours? Was just everybody rubber-necking or what?
I don't know. The only thing that I can assume, because from the pictures and what I'm seeing,
it looks like he had kind of a large, a large crew, I guess it looks like maybe they shut
part of the street down where he was jumping off into this thing or the camera crews or I don't
know. But that's it's very, very interesting. That's interesting. Rap videos will get you in
trouble. They think of crazy stuff for these rap videos, man. Are they used to? Man wins a scratch
off lottery ticket. This is in the state of Florida. This guy gets the winning lottery ticket. He
turns it into the gas station for money. He went to the same exact gas station that he got these.
The problem was he had stolen to the tune of about three dozen of them and happened to get the winning
one. So he ended up going back to the same exact gas station in which he stole it to try to redeem
the money to the tune of $25,000. Of course, they just arrested him. That's that's my question. Does
it just be called null and void at that point? Because technically it was cheating or does he
still get the money? How did that lottery ticket just end up getting put into evidence and where
did the money go? I bet you the state got some of the money. I can guarantee you the police got
some of that money. Not to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I'm pretty sure they got some
of that money. You can't tell me that some of them cops weren't like, oh, let's turn this in and
split this money. All right, our last one. This one is kind of interesting. So the district of
Turney in New York, Long Island, says that a typo on the man's death certificate gave away his
elaborate scheme and con. So Long Island criminal defendant tried faking his own death to avoid a
jail sentence. But the phony death certificate his lawyer had submitted had a glaring spelling error
that gave it away, basically. And essentially what that error was, his date of birth was wrong,
and his name was spelled wrong. His middle name and part of his last name was spelled wrong.
They don't have spell check on them things. I guess not. But he now faces up to an additional
25 years for all the charges that they tacked on. But yeah, the lawyer, like my thing is,
how did the lawyer not get in trouble for this too? He tried to hand over a death certificate
that was obviously fake. And I can see the picture of it. It looks fake. Like, I would be
suspicious about it too. I don't know. They get an A for effort for trying. I guess, man. I guess.
But yeah, man, that's the jail report. All right, well, we're going to hop into our next segment,
which is the donut hole. What do you got for us, buddy? We haven't done a good football story in
a while. And I know you guys love it. Those of you who do and the ones that don't, I'm sorry.
But hey, what'll happen is we're actually going to ask some questions because that's
what we like to do for the donut hole here lately. So, Chris, 2005 to 2015,
how do you feel about quarterbacks and like kind of name and some stuff?
I think 2013 is probably my cutoff point. So 2014 to 2015, I may be a little rusty.
This is primarily, I tried to not make them towards the 2014, 2015 stuff. So, we should be good.
All right. First question. So, this is talking in the first person like this person would be talking.
So, this quarterback won one and only Super Bowl. But if he was talking as himself, I won my one
and only Super Bowl in 2010. And I'm a celebrity in the second city that I played for. That makes
sense. So, A, Peyton Manning, B, Drew Brees, C, David Gerard, or D, Tom Brady. So, he won his one
and only Super Bowl in 2010. And in that town that they won the Super Bowl in, he's a celebrity.
And that was the second place that he had played for. I want to lean towards Drew Brees because
I'm pretty sure Peyton Manning won one with the Colts. He did. You're correct. It is Drew Brees.
So, Drew Brees played for the Chargers. Then he went to the Saints. Then they won the Super Bowl in
2010. And trust me, he is a celebrity in that town. Like everybody in New Orleans loves him.
Him and Sean Peyton both, even though that was 2010. That was 2010. So, but Drew Brees is beloved.
That's what I think of every time I think of Drew Brees as the Saints. I don't really think about
the Chargers. No, he didn't really do much with the Chargers. But another side note, the 2010
Super Bowl that he won was against Peyton Manning in the Colts. And Tony Dungey. Wow. All right. So,
number two, I started my career in one place and won a Super Bowl. Then moved to the Denver Broncos
and won a few more. A, Tom Brady, B, Russell Wilson, C, Peyton Manning, or D, Jake Plummer.
I think it's Peyton Manning. You're correct. Yeah, it's Peyton Manning. So, he went to the
Broncos one and one, another one. I don't really see much of him anymore. He used to be in a lot of
commercials and stuff, and I really don't see too much of him anymore. He's still in a lot of stuff.
He like hosted the Country Music Awards not too long ago with him and Luke Bride. And I was like,
Peyton Manning at the, okay. He also, weirdly enough, during the season, him and Eli, I don't
know if you know this, but they had Monday Night Football with Troy Eggman and Joe Buck, and then
they had a sideshow with Peyton and Eli, where it's pretty much them just talking the entire time.
It was almost like a podcast during the game. I didn't really like it, but a lot of people did.
So, here we're getting into the nitty-gritty ones. It's a number three. I hold several of the QB
rushing records, and one of the teams that I played for was Philly. Is it A, Nick Foles, B,
Donovan McNabb, C, Johnny Manzell, or D, Mike Vic? It's Mike Vic. It's Mike Vic. You're correct.
So, you're killing it so far. Mike Vic. We talked about Mike Vic episode one.
So, Mike Vic and flipping off the crowd. Good old Mike Vic. All right. Number four.
Now, I don't know if you remembered this one or not. So, if you don't remember it, you'll be like,
I have no clue, but we'll see. I had charges pressed against me having to do with a woman
in a bathroom in the state of Georgia. A, Ben Rofflessberger, B, Mike Vic, C, Case Kenan,
or D, Chad Pennington. I want to say Ben Rofflessberger. I feel like it's Ben Rofflessberger.
It was Ben Rofflessberger. He was accused of trying to do some nasty stuff with somebody in the
bathroom at a subway in the middle of Georgia. He's a scumbag. Ben Rofflessberger is a scumbag.
I'll say that. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Next question. What quarterback played for Minnesota
at the age of 41? You don't have to read the answers, Brett Farr. Are you sure it's not John
Kittner? No, it's Brett Farr because his old behind took a walker to get to the field.
He was wearing his life alert bracelet. That is true. And it was A, Brett Farr. All right.
Number six, which quarterback secretly tried to eat a hot dog on the sidelines and got caught?
Oh, that's an interesting one. I don't know if I know that one, but I'll try. I'll try. In the
names, I don't know if I don't know if you're going to pick it out of the list here. Is it A,
J Cutler, B, Mark Sanchez, C, Matt Ryan or D, Kyle Orton? I feel like it's Mark Sanchez. I really
do. Is it Mark Sanchez? Yeah. I think I remember that. It was Mark Sanchez with the, with the,
and he had the, he had the throwback Jets jersey on too. And I just still remember that scene where
he was trying to lean down and eat his hot dog, but everybody could see what he was doing. And
then he's also known for what's called the butt fumble, where he fumbled the ball in somebody's
butt. It was terrible. Anyways, that sounded weird, but anyways. Number seven, which quarterback went
to TCU and have the nickname of the red rider? Is it A, Carson Palmer, B, Joe Fleco, C, Andy Dalton,
or D, Eli Manning? It wasn't Eli. It might be Joe Fleco. It might be Andy Dalton. I want to say Joe
Fleco. You should have went with the other one. It was Andy Dalton. Oh man. Believe it or not,
Joe Fleco went to a really small school. It was like Delaware or Delaware State or something like
that. All right. Last question. Which Manning brother has more Super Bowls? Eli. Eli has more
Super Bowls. No, no, no. You have to listen to all the options. Okay. Is it A, Peyton? Is it B, Eli?
Is it C, Cooper Manning? Or is it D, Archie Manning? It's Eli. Eli has the most Super Bowls.
And you know what's funny? Most people would probably, if they don't know, you know, most people,
I don't know why they respect Peyton more. Do you feel the same way? Do you feel like most people
respect Peyton for some reason more? Yeah. They act like Peyton is better than Eli, but Eli has
more Super Bowl rings. And maybe it was because Eli was just part of the Giants and he didn't have as
good of a team as Peyton, but I thought Eli was still pretty good. Yeah. It was, I felt, I didn't
like him like in the very ending of their careers. Like Eli for the last five was just terrible. Peyton
for the last three was really, really bad. Like most people don't believe, don't remember it, but
the last year Peyton was playing, they actually benched him for Brock Osweiler, like middle of
the season. So I mean, it's, that's, that's one thing about the NFL that I'll just say this real
quick. My thing is no one to retire because it's really sad as a fan watching you keep going when
you suck. And it's like, yeah, your heyday is way behind you. But anyways, speaking of, you're,
I'm just going to lead really well into what fries my donuts, but your best friend, Cam Newton,
is trying to make a comeback in the NFL as well. And he says he's better than all 32 bleeping
quarterbacks. That's not true. He's one of those that his heyday is way behind him. His heyday was
in college. That's when his heyday was, you know, it's funny about that, you know, where he's working
out to try to show NFL teams, he's, he's back and ready at the Auburn pro day. Like literally,
he went back to college to try to show off at their pro day. That's, that's how you know,
that was his heyday. But anyways, I digress. Let's get into what fries my donuts, Chris, and it's
your week. So what fries your donuts besides Cam Newton? What really gets on my nerves and fries
my donuts is when people are like, I'm just raw. I'm just real. I'm going to just tell it like it is.
And there's nothing wrong with that. But these people use it as an excuse to just make people mad.
And they're like, well, I'm just being me. And they use it to be in social situations where they
just say some of the most embarrassing stuff. They say some of the most awkward things. And they're
like, I'm just being raw. I'm just being real. Or they use it as a way to be a jerk to everybody.
And I don't think that that should be fair. The hard part is what they're playing on is they're
playing on that whole, you want to let people be an individual. And so when people say, Oh,
you're not allowing me to be me or not allowing me to be an individual, we've all been to the point
where people have judged us or made us feel bad for who we are. And so you don't want to do that
to somebody else, especially kind hearted people. So it kind of plays on that a lot. I feel like to
where then you almost feel obligated of like, Yeah, I'm kind of I'm kind of stepping on their
stuff. But at the same time, nah, man, a lot of the times you're right. I'll go ahead and say
they use it as an excuse to be an ass. They use it to be an excuse to be a jerk and a half and
literally let their mouth fly without consequences. And they try to use that as a consequence,
get her out or term, I feel like. Yeah. Or it's the people that they just vomit their emotions on
you. And they're like, and there's nothing wrong with being emotional and stuff. But they're,
these are the people that it's like highs and lows. One day they're like super bubbly. The next day
they're just like crying and vomiting. And when you ask what's wrong, you open up a whole can of
worms and they're like, well, as being a so and so, I'm just being raw and being vulnerable. And
it's like, yes, but at the same time, you kind of need to learn how to manage your emotions a
little bit. I feel like. And a lot of the times when you open up those realms, what you find out is
those people are perfectly complacent and being in their drama-ridden world anyway. And that's
exactly what they want is they want all the drama, they want all the attention. And so that's why
the pendulum swings so quickly is because it depends on how much attention they're getting at one
point. Yeah, it really annoys me because those people, I feel like they manipulate social situations
and they want to make themselves the center of attention. And the same with the people that are
like, I'm just being real. I'm just being raw. And they're the ones that manipulate and dominate
conversation. Yeah. And they also, what I don't like about it is on the back end, when you call
them out, again, that's the whole term of what I'm just being honest. I'm just being real. And
that's supposed to make everything go away. Yeah, you were a jerk, but you know, you were just being
honest and you were just being yourself. Okay, so you're a jerk. You know, it doesn't make any sense
to me of why that is a justifiable excuse. Well, I'm just being honest. Sometimes there's times,
you know, you can totally be honest, but there are ways to be honest. You can, you know, there are
ways to be honest without being a jerk. Yeah, there are. There are for sure. So I think those
people just kind of get on my nerves. But on the flip side of that, there can be the opposite
extreme where you don't ever tell anybody what you're thinking or feeling. And that's not good
either. So like we've said with everything, it's a fine and healthy balance. Yeah, good balances.
Don't don't get us into the conversation of balances. But anyways, we're going to segue
into our mystery. That's our improv segment. What do we got for us? Fortunately, unfortunately,
I love this game, man. I love fortunately. Unfortunately, it's always pretty fun. So
this time, the scenario at a fast food restaurant, you want to run with that?
There you go. Cool deal. All right, I can start it. All right.
Fortunately, they put all my favorites on the dollar menu. Unfortunately, you've got five kids
of the back. So you're going to be broke. Fortunately, I have $20 and everything's on the
dollar menu. So math is in my favor. Unfortunately, your wife just called and said she wanted a big
mac with extra fries. And so that $20 is going to get eaten up. Fortunately, I called her back and
said, nah, what's going to happen is you're going to get two singles like the rest of the family.
Unfortunately, you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Fortunately, I bought one of those nice
couches for my kid. And that might be part of the reason that we're broke. Unfortunately, it took
you five hours to put it together. So you lost family night. Fortunately, I don't really like
my family anyway. So that worked out my favor. Unfortunately, your wife is going to divorce
you and you're going to pay a lot of money in legal fees and alimony. Fortunately, I've already
had my death certificate faked better than that guy from the jail report. I'm going to skip off to
the Caimans and nobody will know I exist and I'll restart. All right, you got me with that one.
You got me. I don't have a comeback. That's pretty good. Our next scenario should be
at a wedding at a wedding. All right. Unfortunately, we got have a seating chart. So we don't have
to sit next to people. We don't want to. Unfortunately, you had some uninvited guests and they sat
wherever they wanted. Fortunately, I'm going to leave this wedding early anyways. Unfortunately,
your ride backed out so you can't leave until you can get another ride. Fortunately, we live in the
digital age of Uber and I can just Uber a ride. Unfortunately, your phone died hours ago. Fortunately,
my buddy built me a charger so I can just charge it into the wall. Unfortunately, it was poorly made
and it caught fire due to its shoddy craftsmanship. Fortunately, they're about to cut the cake now.
So I'm going to get cake. Unfortunately, nobody has still paid attention to this fire that's
raging over here that is consumed half the room. Fortunately, this is not my wedding. So it's
not my problem. Unfortunately, it's starting to creep towards you. Some of the guests are
starting to look like Anakin Skywalker. Fortunately, I have two legs so I can walk away from this fire
and I'll walk home. Unfortunately, the barn dominium they were getting married in is starting to
collapse and there's only parts that you can get out from. Fortunately, I spent a summer as a
volunteer firefighter so I know what to do with these situations. Volunteer firefighter? Yeah.
All right, last scenario. Last scenario. We got time for a walk. Add a football game. We haven't
done that before. All right, add a football game. You can start. All right. Fortunately, the beer is
only $1. Unfortunately, you had five so they're not going to serve you anymore. Unfortunately,
I just go to another stand where they don't know me. Unfortunately, they put your picture on the
do not serve list. Fortunately, I got my good buddy Chris that I just sitting up there with money
and he comes back with beer. Unfortunately, your good buddy Chris got arrested for buying an intoxicated
person beer because it's against the law. Fortunately, I got a bonus from work and I'm bailing my buddy out.
Unfortunately, the place that serves beer lost their liquor license and alcohol serving license
because they did that little move and they were on their third strike so you can't get beer when
you go next time. Fortunately, they'll have a Duke beer distributor next time because that's
business for you. Unfortunately, the city passed a dry county law so there's no beer served in the
county. Fortunately, I'll just go to the bar at the county line, get liquored up beforehand and then
go to the stadium. Unfortunately, it's $7 a drink and you will be broke by the end of the night.
Fortunately, I got another bonus from work so we don't have to worry about being broke and we can
drink all night. Unfortunately, the check bounce from your company because they had insufficient fun.
Well, fortunately, I got a nice little plan with some Ford's checks and the Cayman Islands again.
All right. That was our improv. We are going to move to our last segment which is our Eclair and
that is our positive advice and I think it's my turn to go first. So in life, we've kind of talked
about priorities but it's good to have fun but make sure that you're fun and that your hobbies
and all that good stuff doesn't take the place of the people that you love because it can be so easy
to just be like, you know what? I'm going to be really into golfing or for me, I'm really big
into wrestling and if I'm not careful, I can let that become more of a priority than spending time
with the ones that I love. So make sure that you use your hobbies are good but make sure that your
priorities are set right. Yeah, absolutely. Mine is making sure that even when everybody else is
doing something, even when you know it's not right and they know it's not right, don't follow the trend
and what I mean by that, it's very, very easy. I give you a prime example. You go to a restaurant,
you pay in cash, somebody, you know, the cashier gives you too much change back, gives you an extra
20. A lot of people, most people would walk out and say, her mistake, got an extra 20 today, it's
all good. I challenge you to go back in there and say, hey, you gave me an extra 20 or call it out
when it happens. It's not easy to do but the thing is the majority of the people won't do those things
and there are other things in life as well. I'm trying to think of some examples in the moment but
you know, there are so many things that happen each and every day that, here's another one, I had it
that went to a pharmacy one time and I'll admit it was at Walmart and so we went to Walmart one time
and I was with my grandmother and we totally forgot to pay for these prescription medications that we
had. We went to the gardening section and we walked out that way and realized that we had paid for
some other stuff but we did not pay for the medicine and as you know, pharmacy and medicine
very expensive and could have easily been like, oh well, you know, their mistake, we get free meds,
all that sort of thing but now it's important to, even when everybody else would do it, don't
follow that trend. Whenever you do the right thing, it always pays off even if you don't see the benefits
of it but yeah man. Because I do, I do believe honestly if you like in the event of that $20
that I was talking about, if you receive that $20 and say, oh yeah, $20 on me essentially, right?
Like that's, I got 20 bucks. I feel like later on down the road you'll be short $20 when you need it.
tv trashcan.com, tv trashcan.com, that's where to go for all of our websites and all of our good stuff,
right? You're doing right and you know, we got our Facebook, our YouTube, our, you know, we're on
pretty much everything. I know a lot of y'all will be listening on Spotify, we appreciate that but yeah,
come check out the YouTube channel, come check out the website, we got plenty of great stuff on there
but yeah man, I think we're about ready to take this donut box out to the trash.
All right, let's sign off. I'm Chris and I'm Micah and this is the DonaBox Podcast. See ya!