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Trashcan presents calling into an IT support desk.

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Hi, thank you for calling M5 Industries help desk. How may I help you?

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Uh, yes, my name is Sarah from Bozeman, Montana. And uh, I got a problem here. Uh, I can't seem to power on my computer.

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Well, let me ask you, if you really are from Montana, are you able to hit the big button that says power next to it?

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Uh, I don't see that over there. I'm from Bozeman, Montana. I don't understand.

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Oh, that's that's that's air apparent. That's really apparent. Listen, I don't have the rights or credentials to, uh,

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unfortunately, provide this service at this time to help you with that. I am going to have to transfer you.

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Well, let me speak to your  manager. Let me speak to your manager. Here's what we're going to do.

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We're going to transfer you to our other department. It's our hardware department. They're very good at this sort of thing.

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They'll be able to help you out further. Okay. All right. I'm going to go ahead and transfer you.

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Oh, yeah. This is Steve from hardware. Yes. This is Sarah from Bozeman, Montana.

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I can't get my power to turn on and they told me that I need to talk to you guys.

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Well, I don't know. I told you to come over here. We don't handle anything to do with power buttons or anything like that.

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It's only if your computer is... The guy told me that I was getting transferred to you guys and you guys knew what you were talking about.

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Hold on. Let's let's put you in a brief hold very quick.

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Okay. I'm back. Are you still there with me? This is ridiculous. Here in Bozeman, Montana, we don't do things like that.

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And if you... I am the senior VIP CEO, MLKG, our representative, and at my company, we don't run things like that.

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Now, I would like to speak to you. Supervised. Okay. If you'd like to speak to them, it will be a five minute wait.

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And we will have to... No, no, no, no, no. I would like to speak to them now. Okay. Please hold.

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Uh, yes. This is the supervisor. I have been on hold for 25 hours trying to get my power button to turn on.

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You guys keep giving me the rudder round. What am I dealing with here? Listen, ma'am, I make $7.50 an hour.

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I'm shugging down cigarettes left and right. I've literally had my eighth coffee in the last 30 minutes.

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I'm literally crapping bricks. Okay. I don't have time for this. I don't know who you are. I don't know who you think you are.

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I'm going to put you on hold and I'm going to get you back to the right place.

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You know what? I'm just going to go to Best Buy.

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Hi, I'm Michael and I'm Chris and that was your IT prop. I mean, I mean, sorry, DonaBox podcast. This is DonaBox podcast.

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All right. We are on episode 19, 19, the big old one night. We're one away from 20 for the season.

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19 episodes and counting. I'm 19. Just kidding. You used to say I'm 18.

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But anyways, we welcome all of you listeners from Belgium, from Spain, from Kansas, Florida, Georgia, Texas, Ireland, the UK, Australia, India, Singapore.

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Hey, Canada. Can't forget Canada. Oh, Canada. We love all you guys. And if you're brand new, welcome.

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The way this works is each segment has a different donut and the first donut is the old fashioned donut, which is a story from our past.

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Now, I have to tell on myself for a little bit. No, no, no. Can I tell on you?

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Okay. I'll let you go ahead and tell it and then I'll come back and correct it.

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All right. So this week, we're going to be talking about one of Christopher's relationships and essentially what happened.

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Yeah, it was with somebody else. But this gal, we've kind of talked about it before.

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She was my head coach's daughter and Chris took a like into her and she came to our church a few times.

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There was a problem, however. She was, I wouldn't even call him a friend. He was more like an acquaintance, a goofy acquaintance.

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And she was dating this guy and essentially what ended up happening was, listen, the girl was flirting around.

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I will admit, she had eyes for my boy. We all knew it. And the other dude, well, his mama was a little, a little too helicoptery.

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You know what I'm saying? Said you can't see her no more. And so my boy Chris swooped in and the old boy got a little mad.

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And so we get to talk about when they had a little discussion about it.

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Let me backtrack for you, man. Let me backtrack for you. So what happened was Michael was right. Yes.

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This friend, we'll call him Sven. Sven had his helicopter mom and his helicopter mom basically banned him from seeing this girl.

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And so they had tried and they had tried and they had tried and basically it was pretty much over.

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I was the rebound friend. I was the one that she was going to with all of her problems.

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She was crying on my shoulder and all that kind of stuff. I actually liked her other friend at the time.

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A couple of months down the road. Even named her car after.

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Anyway, it's quit line, man. Quit line. So a couple of months down the road comes out that she likes me and I'm like, oh, well,

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being a 18 year old kid senior in high school, no one had ever really liked me before. So I was like, oh, okay.

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And I had kind of liked her. And so I was like, well, let's start dating.

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So we started dating and this caused problems for old Sven because I did break the bro code. I did break the bro code.

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It's not cool to go out with one of your acquaintances or your friends exes.

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So he was a pretty, he was pretty mad about that. But these were extraordinary times. I'm just going to,

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you know, I'm going to defend my friend here. It was extraordinary times. I mean, his mom told him,

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nay, you don't have a choice. Mommy told you, no, she's on to the next guy. And the next guy happens to be my homie, Chris.

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I appreciate the defense here. So I did, I didn't break the bro code. He was not happy about that.

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Very not happy about that. So he was like, we need to talk. And I was like, oh man.

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And he was like, we're going to meet at the local Bojangles, which Bojangles is like this little breakfast place.

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He was like, be there at eight o'clock. He's like, we're going to talk.

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And me, I'm not going to back down from nothing because I was like, I know pansy.

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But Michael was like, he was like, I'm going to go just so you got some backup. So you got some protection.

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And I was like, thanks, man. You're a real friend. I think he was trying to make up for the whole me

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riding in the back of his truck incident. He was like, or Mr. Rice. He was like, who's like,

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my friends was there for me. I'm going to be there. My friend. So I just remember it was very in my mind.

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It played out very mob like, I'm sure it wasn't this way, but I remember we get to the breakfast

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and we're sitting there and I'm sitting on one side of the table.

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Michael's sitting next to me and then spend. And I think there was somebody else there with him.

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Or was it just him? Oh, no, there was somebody with him. All right. It was our old communist friend

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that went to your school. Oh yeah. We'll call him. We'll call him. What? What are we going to call him?

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Joseph. We'll call him Joseph. For Joseph's style. Because this guy was a full on communist.

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Full on. So Joseph was there and Sven was there. And I remember it was just kind of like this little

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kind of quiet tension. So we're getting there and talking. And I just remember he asked Micah to leave.

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Sven did. He was like, hey, I need to talk to Chris real quick. He was like, Joseph Scram.

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And then he was like, Micah Scram. And I was just sitting there across the table and in my mind,

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I put myself in a Clint Eastwood movie. I was like, oh, what's going to go down?

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I didn't know what was going to go down. What were you thinking during this whole time?

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So I had my truck. You remember the stories about the old truck? I was on the tailgate of this truck.

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And because it was it was on a Sunday morning, like we were going to have to go to church afterwards.

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So we were about to head over there. And I just remember sitting on the tailgate of that truck.

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And oh, Joseph, he didn't he didn't hang out with me at all. I don't know where he went when he left,

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but he wasn't with me. And all I know is I was sitting there was, you know, the whole place

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was kind of windowed. And so I was sitting in the tailgate, like watching in there, like,

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make it sure he don't swing. That's all that matters is just make sure there wasn't any sort of big

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confrontation or anything like that. I was just sitting there like, I wonder what they're talking

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about. I knew I knew it wasn't good. And I knew he was probably upset. But really, the only thing

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I was worried about was him abruptly swinging on you or something.

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Yeah. And I just remember him talking to me and he was very upset about it. And I mean,

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I didn't buck up or nothing. But I was like, if he swings, I'm a lot of swing first,

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he's going to get one. And this guy was like significantly bigger, way bigger.

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He's slightly bigger than me. And I know most people don't know my dimensions, but like I'm

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a decent sized guy. I'm 6'4". He was about my height. I mean, he was, he's not a small dude.

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Yeah. And so I was like, he'll get, he'll get at least one on me. And so, but then after that,

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all bets are off. Go down swinging. So I just remember him talking and he was upset. But then,

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I guess he kind of made peace with it because he was like, he was like, just make sure you take

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care of her. Don't hurt her and all that good stuff. And make sure you buy her not red roses

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because she doesn't like that. And I was like, okay, I know full, I'm with her. You're not

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spitting. Your little mommy told you you couldn't be with her. So I, and I guess he's still mad

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about it to this day. I think he is. No, he is. Because we, when we moved out to Lubbock,

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of course, I still had some, I still had some contacts back, back east, you know,

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and most of them were like, yeah, he spread a rumor that y'all were gay after y'all left.

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I was just like, yeah, he's still hurt. He's still hurt. Yeah, he is, which is not, which the

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rumor is not true at all. But at the same time, man, he is one of those people still where he is

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like living in his high school days. And those are like the best days of his life. And so, you

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know, Sven, I doubt you're listening. But if you are, I'm sorry, man. I was 18 year old kid, but

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you got to kind of get old. You can kiss my ass. You can kiss my ass. I guess you're still,

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are you still upset about it? I said you could cut that part out, but no.

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Oh, I was just gonna leave it in there. But anyways, all right, so we're going to move into our next

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segment, which is the jelly donut. And that's the jail report.

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What do you say private pile? Sir, jelly donut, sir. A jelly donut.

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Micah, what do you got for us? I'm so excited for these. These have been,

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okay, so the very first one, you won't ever believe this one. I'm just gonna,

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I'm gonna skip the headline and I'm just gonna read you the story. After days of searching for a

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mystery pooper, and this is at a high school, high school football field, somebody was pooping on

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their field apparently. So after searching for the mystery pooper, the police finally found their

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man. It was the superintendent from the district next door. The 42 year old pleaded guilty in

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October to defecating in public and surveillance camera had caught him in the act. I mean, I'm

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sorry. That's pretty funny to me. Like the fact that a 42 year old man, and he was a superintendent

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of another school's district. So he is literally like the head leader in charge. This man is so petty

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that he is stuiting to that. No, it gets better. There's, there's, there's even a better part to

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it. So he was forced to resign his job and everything like that. So his, his, him and his

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attorney countersued the county for defamation and said that his client had runner's diarrhea,

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which is condition that often causes runner, a distance runner to lose their bowels at a

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random time essentially. And the football field where he was running just happened to be the one

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where he constantly lost his bowels. And there was no evidence that he was ever a serial offender,

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that that was a once or twice a deal thing, that that was the only time he pooped on the field.

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So it was just a once or twice thing. They're saying no. They're saying that the, the school

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district saying that this happened at least 10 times. But the lawyer is saying that it only

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happened a couple of times and it was due to runner's diarrhea. That's an interesting defense

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argument. What happened with that court case? Do you know how he was charged? Deficating in public,

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which I don't, I don't think that was defecating in public is probably not a big thing. It probably

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was more like a fine or probation or something. So instead of defamation of character, it was

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probably defecation of character. You're exactly right. You're exactly right. All right. So the

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next one. So a suspected burglar breaks into an escape room and can't figure out how to escape.

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Wow. That's funny. Why was he breaking in there? So of course, it's a, it's a fear of a lot of

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people to do the escape rooms and it's like, oh, I might never get out. Well, police in Washington

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say that a man broke into an escape room. Damaged the property so badly he really couldn't escape. So

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apparently he didn't know how to use the lock and the front door was stuck. So the suspect

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allegedly called 911 several times from inside the room, which led the police to his location.

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But apparently he had torn everything up. I didn't say what he was trying to steal or anything,

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but apparently he tore up the place trying to get out. So he was actually in one of the escape

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rooms or he was just in the front. He was, he was in one of the escape rooms. That's crazy. I wonder

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how he got in there because whenever you go to an escape room, they have the lobby out front and

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then they have the rooms like down the hallway and to the side. But yeah, it is hard. Like you

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really got to try to figure it out. And sometimes in escape rooms, they like give you a hint and

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they can give you hints and clues. And I've had to do that several times. And if you don't know

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what you're doing, oh man, yeah, you're, you're stuck. And what they say in the report is the,

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the room was called the puzzle room. So I don't know what that's supposed to be, but apparently

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I guess you're supposed to solve a series of puzzles to be able to get out. This guy just tore

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up the whole place. So he was charged with secondary burglary. And then also, I'll say just

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secondary burglary, I think I would think that he would have been charged for tearing up the place,

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but so the next one here, a man's rap music video. So he was making a rap music video,

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gets him arrested in Los Angeles. So a man decided that he was going to do his rap music video

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on top of the one interstate 110, the sixth street exit. So one of those big green exit signs over

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the freeway, he decided to dance and have a dance crew and also film during live traffic in the

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middle of the day. He dramatically back flipped off the sign into an inflatable landing pad below

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and got like judges scorecards and all this other weird stuff. But meanwhile, what ended up happening

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was it disrupted traffic and shut down three lanes of traffic for at least four hours. None of it

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had a permit or anything like that. So he was arrested, including trespassing on state property,

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suspicion of delaying a police officer, all sorts of weird tacked on charges. But yeah,

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this guy was a little brazen. I mean, he literally was back flipping off of a

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traffic sign onto an inflatable pad on the ground in the middle of traffic.

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So how do you stop three lanes of traffic for four hours? Was just everybody rubber-necking or what?

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I don't know. The only thing that I can assume, because from the pictures and what I'm seeing,

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it looks like he had kind of a large, a large crew, I guess it looks like maybe they shut

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part of the street down where he was jumping off into this thing or the camera crews or I don't

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know. But that's it's very, very interesting. That's interesting. Rap videos will get you in

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trouble. They think of crazy stuff for these rap videos, man. Are they used to? Man wins a scratch

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off lottery ticket. This is in the state of Florida. This guy gets the winning lottery ticket. He

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turns it into the gas station for money. He went to the same exact gas station that he got these.

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The problem was he had stolen to the tune of about three dozen of them and happened to get the winning

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one. So he ended up going back to the same exact gas station in which he stole it to try to redeem

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the money to the tune of $25,000. Of course, they just arrested him. That's that's my question. Does

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it just be called null and void at that point? Because technically it was cheating or does he

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still get the money? How did that lottery ticket just end up getting put into evidence and where

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did the money go? I bet you the state got some of the money. I can guarantee you the police got

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some of that money. Not to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I'm pretty sure they got some

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of that money. You can't tell me that some of them cops weren't like, oh, let's turn this in and

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split this money. All right, our last one. This one is kind of interesting. So the district of

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Turney in New York, Long Island, says that a typo on the man's death certificate gave away his

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elaborate scheme and con. So Long Island criminal defendant tried faking his own death to avoid a

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jail sentence. But the phony death certificate his lawyer had submitted had a glaring spelling error

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that gave it away, basically. And essentially what that error was, his date of birth was wrong,

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and his name was spelled wrong. His middle name and part of his last name was spelled wrong.

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They don't have spell check on them things. I guess not. But he now faces up to an additional

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25 years for all the charges that they tacked on. But yeah, the lawyer, like my thing is,

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how did the lawyer not get in trouble for this too? He tried to hand over a death certificate

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that was obviously fake. And I can see the picture of it. It looks fake. Like, I would be

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suspicious about it too. I don't know. They get an A for effort for trying. I guess, man. I guess.

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But yeah, man, that's the jail report. All right, well, we're going to hop into our next segment,

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which is the donut hole. What do you got for us, buddy? We haven't done a good football story in

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a while. And I know you guys love it. Those of you who do and the ones that don't, I'm sorry.

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But hey, what'll happen is we're actually going to ask some questions because that's

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what we like to do for the donut hole here lately. So, Chris, 2005 to 2015,

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how do you feel about quarterbacks and like kind of name and some stuff?

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I think 2013 is probably my cutoff point. So 2014 to 2015, I may be a little rusty.

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This is primarily, I tried to not make them towards the 2014, 2015 stuff. So, we should be good.

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All right. First question. So, this is talking in the first person like this person would be talking.

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So, this quarterback won one and only Super Bowl. But if he was talking as himself, I won my one

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and only Super Bowl in 2010. And I'm a celebrity in the second city that I played for. That makes

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sense. So, A, Peyton Manning, B, Drew Brees, C, David Gerard, or D, Tom Brady. So, he won his one

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and only Super Bowl in 2010. And in that town that they won the Super Bowl in, he's a celebrity.

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And that was the second place that he had played for. I want to lean towards Drew Brees because

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I'm pretty sure Peyton Manning won one with the Colts. He did. You're correct. It is Drew Brees.

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So, Drew Brees played for the Chargers. Then he went to the Saints. Then they won the Super Bowl in

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2010. And trust me, he is a celebrity in that town. Like everybody in New Orleans loves him.

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Him and Sean Peyton both, even though that was 2010. That was 2010. So, but Drew Brees is beloved.

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That's what I think of every time I think of Drew Brees as the Saints. I don't really think about

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the Chargers. No, he didn't really do much with the Chargers. But another side note, the 2010

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Super Bowl that he won was against Peyton Manning in the Colts. And Tony Dungey. Wow. All right. So,

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number two, I started my career in one place and won a Super Bowl. Then moved to the Denver Broncos

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and won a few more. A, Tom Brady, B, Russell Wilson, C, Peyton Manning, or D, Jake Plummer.

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I think it's Peyton Manning. You're correct. Yeah, it's Peyton Manning. So, he went to the

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Broncos one and one, another one. I don't really see much of him anymore. He used to be in a lot of

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commercials and stuff, and I really don't see too much of him anymore. He's still in a lot of stuff.

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He like hosted the Country Music Awards not too long ago with him and Luke Bride. And I was like,

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Peyton Manning at the, okay. He also, weirdly enough, during the season, him and Eli, I don't

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know if you know this, but they had Monday Night Football with Troy Eggman and Joe Buck, and then

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they had a sideshow with Peyton and Eli, where it's pretty much them just talking the entire time.

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It was almost like a podcast during the game. I didn't really like it, but a lot of people did.

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So, here we're getting into the nitty-gritty ones. It's a number three. I hold several of the QB

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rushing records, and one of the teams that I played for was Philly. Is it A, Nick Foles, B,

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Donovan McNabb, C, Johnny Manzell, or D, Mike Vic? It's Mike Vic. It's Mike Vic. You're correct.

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So, you're killing it so far. Mike Vic. We talked about Mike Vic episode one.

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So, Mike Vic and flipping off the crowd. Good old Mike Vic. All right. Number four.

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Now, I don't know if you remembered this one or not. So, if you don't remember it, you'll be like,

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I have no clue, but we'll see. I had charges pressed against me having to do with a woman

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in a bathroom in the state of Georgia. A, Ben Rofflessberger, B, Mike Vic, C, Case Kenan,

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or D, Chad Pennington. I want to say Ben Rofflessberger. I feel like it's Ben Rofflessberger.

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It was Ben Rofflessberger. He was accused of trying to do some nasty stuff with somebody in the

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bathroom at a subway in the middle of Georgia. He's a scumbag. Ben Rofflessberger is a scumbag.

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I'll say that. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Next question. What quarterback played for Minnesota

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at the age of 41? You don't have to read the answers, Brett Farr. Are you sure it's not John

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Kittner? No, it's Brett Farr because his old behind took a walker to get to the field.

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He was wearing his life alert bracelet. That is true. And it was A, Brett Farr. All right.

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Number six, which quarterback secretly tried to eat a hot dog on the sidelines and got caught?

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Oh, that's an interesting one. I don't know if I know that one, but I'll try. I'll try. In the

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names, I don't know if I don't know if you're going to pick it out of the list here. Is it A,

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J Cutler, B, Mark Sanchez, C, Matt Ryan or D, Kyle Orton? I feel like it's Mark Sanchez. I really

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do. Is it Mark Sanchez? Yeah. I think I remember that. It was Mark Sanchez with the, with the,

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and he had the, he had the throwback Jets jersey on too. And I just still remember that scene where

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he was trying to lean down and eat his hot dog, but everybody could see what he was doing. And

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then he's also known for what's called the butt fumble, where he fumbled the ball in somebody's

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butt. It was terrible. Anyways, that sounded weird, but anyways. Number seven, which quarterback went

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to TCU and have the nickname of the red rider? Is it A, Carson Palmer, B, Joe Fleco, C, Andy Dalton,

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or D, Eli Manning? It wasn't Eli. It might be Joe Fleco. It might be Andy Dalton. I want to say Joe

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Fleco. You should have went with the other one. It was Andy Dalton. Oh man. Believe it or not,

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Joe Fleco went to a really small school. It was like Delaware or Delaware State or something like

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that. All right. Last question. Which Manning brother has more Super Bowls? Eli. Eli has more

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Super Bowls. No, no, no. You have to listen to all the options. Okay. Is it A, Peyton? Is it B, Eli?

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Is it C, Cooper Manning? Or is it D, Archie Manning? It's Eli. Eli has the most Super Bowls.

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And you know what's funny? Most people would probably, if they don't know, you know, most people,

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I don't know why they respect Peyton more. Do you feel the same way? Do you feel like most people

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respect Peyton for some reason more? Yeah. They act like Peyton is better than Eli, but Eli has

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more Super Bowl rings. And maybe it was because Eli was just part of the Giants and he didn't have as

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good of a team as Peyton, but I thought Eli was still pretty good. Yeah. It was, I felt, I didn't

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like him like in the very ending of their careers. Like Eli for the last five was just terrible. Peyton

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for the last three was really, really bad. Like most people don't believe, don't remember it, but

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the last year Peyton was playing, they actually benched him for Brock Osweiler, like middle of

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the season. So I mean, it's, that's, that's one thing about the NFL that I'll just say this real

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quick. My thing is no one to retire because it's really sad as a fan watching you keep going when

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you suck. And it's like, yeah, your heyday is way behind you. But anyways, speaking of, you're,

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I'm just going to lead really well into what fries my donuts, but your best friend, Cam Newton,

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is trying to make a comeback in the NFL as well. And he says he's better than all 32 bleeping

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quarterbacks. That's not true. He's one of those that his heyday is way behind him. His heyday was

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in college. That's when his heyday was, you know, it's funny about that, you know, where he's working

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out to try to show NFL teams, he's, he's back and ready at the Auburn pro day. Like literally,

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he went back to college to try to show off at their pro day. That's, that's how you know,

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that was his heyday. But anyways, I digress. Let's get into what fries my donuts, Chris, and it's

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your week. So what fries your donuts besides Cam Newton? What really gets on my nerves and fries

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my donuts is when people are like, I'm just raw. I'm just real. I'm going to just tell it like it is.

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And there's nothing wrong with that. But these people use it as an excuse to just make people mad.

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And they're like, well, I'm just being me. And they use it to be in social situations where they

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just say some of the most embarrassing stuff. They say some of the most awkward things. And they're

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like, I'm just being raw. I'm just being real. Or they use it as a way to be a jerk to everybody.

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And I don't think that that should be fair. The hard part is what they're playing on is they're

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playing on that whole, you want to let people be an individual. And so when people say, Oh,

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you're not allowing me to be me or not allowing me to be an individual, we've all been to the point

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where people have judged us or made us feel bad for who we are. And so you don't want to do that

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to somebody else, especially kind hearted people. So it kind of plays on that a lot. I feel like to

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where then you almost feel obligated of like, Yeah, I'm kind of I'm kind of stepping on their

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stuff. But at the same time, nah, man, a lot of the times you're right. I'll go ahead and say

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they use it as an excuse to be an ass. They use it to be an excuse to be a jerk and a half and

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literally let their mouth fly without consequences. And they try to use that as a consequence,

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get her out or term, I feel like. Yeah. Or it's the people that they just vomit their emotions on

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you. And they're like, and there's nothing wrong with being emotional and stuff. But they're,

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these are the people that it's like highs and lows. One day they're like super bubbly. The next day

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they're just like crying and vomiting. And when you ask what's wrong, you open up a whole can of

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worms and they're like, well, as being a so and so, I'm just being raw and being vulnerable. And

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it's like, yes, but at the same time, you kind of need to learn how to manage your emotions a

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little bit. I feel like. And a lot of the times when you open up those realms, what you find out is

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those people are perfectly complacent and being in their drama-ridden world anyway. And that's

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exactly what they want is they want all the drama, they want all the attention. And so that's why

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the pendulum swings so quickly is because it depends on how much attention they're getting at one

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point. Yeah, it really annoys me because those people, I feel like they manipulate social situations

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and they want to make themselves the center of attention. And the same with the people that are

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like, I'm just being real. I'm just being raw. And they're the ones that manipulate and dominate

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conversation. Yeah. And they also, what I don't like about it is on the back end, when you call

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them out, again, that's the whole term of what I'm just being honest. I'm just being real. And

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that's supposed to make everything go away. Yeah, you were a jerk, but you know, you were just being

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honest and you were just being yourself. Okay, so you're a jerk. You know, it doesn't make any sense

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to me of why that is a justifiable excuse. Well, I'm just being honest. Sometimes there's times,

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you know, you can totally be honest, but there are ways to be honest. You can, you know, there are

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ways to be honest without being a jerk. Yeah, there are. There are for sure. So I think those

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people just kind of get on my nerves. But on the flip side of that, there can be the opposite

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extreme where you don't ever tell anybody what you're thinking or feeling. And that's not good

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either. So like we've said with everything, it's a fine and healthy balance. Yeah, good balances.

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Don't don't get us into the conversation of balances. But anyways, we're going to segue

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into our mystery. That's our improv segment. What do we got for us? Fortunately, unfortunately,

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I love this game, man. I love fortunately. Unfortunately, it's always pretty fun. So

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this time, the scenario at a fast food restaurant, you want to run with that?

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There you go. Cool deal. All right, I can start it. All right.

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Fortunately, they put all my favorites on the dollar menu. Unfortunately, you've got five kids

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of the back. So you're going to be broke. Fortunately, I have $20 and everything's on the

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dollar menu. So math is in my favor. Unfortunately, your wife just called and said she wanted a big

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mac with extra fries. And so that $20 is going to get eaten up. Fortunately, I called her back and

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said, nah, what's going to happen is you're going to get two singles like the rest of the family.

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Unfortunately, you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Fortunately, I bought one of those nice

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couches for my kid. And that might be part of the reason that we're broke. Unfortunately, it took

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you five hours to put it together. So you lost family night. Fortunately, I don't really like

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my family anyway. So that worked out my favor. Unfortunately, your wife is going to divorce

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you and you're going to pay a lot of money in legal fees and alimony. Fortunately, I've already

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had my death certificate faked better than that guy from the jail report. I'm going to skip off to

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the Caimans and nobody will know I exist and I'll restart. All right, you got me with that one.

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You got me. I don't have a comeback. That's pretty good. Our next scenario should be

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at a wedding at a wedding. All right. Unfortunately, we got have a seating chart. So we don't have

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to sit next to people. We don't want to. Unfortunately, you had some uninvited guests and they sat

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wherever they wanted. Fortunately, I'm going to leave this wedding early anyways. Unfortunately,

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your ride backed out so you can't leave until you can get another ride. Fortunately, we live in the

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digital age of Uber and I can just Uber a ride. Unfortunately, your phone died hours ago. Fortunately,

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my buddy built me a charger so I can just charge it into the wall. Unfortunately, it was poorly made

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and it caught fire due to its shoddy craftsmanship. Fortunately, they're about to cut the cake now.

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So I'm going to get cake. Unfortunately, nobody has still paid attention to this fire that's

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raging over here that is consumed half the room. Fortunately, this is not my wedding. So it's

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not my problem. Unfortunately, it's starting to creep towards you. Some of the guests are

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starting to look like Anakin Skywalker. Fortunately, I have two legs so I can walk away from this fire

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and I'll walk home. Unfortunately, the barn dominium they were getting married in is starting to

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collapse and there's only parts that you can get out from. Fortunately, I spent a summer as a

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volunteer firefighter so I know what to do with these situations. Volunteer firefighter? Yeah.

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All right, last scenario. Last scenario. We got time for a walk. Add a football game. We haven't

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done that before. All right, add a football game. You can start. All right. Fortunately, the beer is

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only $1. Unfortunately, you had five so they're not going to serve you anymore. Unfortunately,

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I just go to another stand where they don't know me. Unfortunately, they put your picture on the

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do not serve list. Fortunately, I got my good buddy Chris that I just sitting up there with money

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and he comes back with beer. Unfortunately, your good buddy Chris got arrested for buying an intoxicated

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person beer because it's against the law. Fortunately, I got a bonus from work and I'm bailing my buddy out.

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Unfortunately, the place that serves beer lost their liquor license and alcohol serving license

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because they did that little move and they were on their third strike so you can't get beer when

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you go next time. Fortunately, they'll have a Duke beer distributor next time because that's

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business for you. Unfortunately, the city passed a dry county law so there's no beer served in the

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county. Fortunately, I'll just go to the bar at the county line, get liquored up beforehand and then

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go to the stadium. Unfortunately, it's $7 a drink and you will be broke by the end of the night.

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Fortunately, I got another bonus from work so we don't have to worry about being broke and we can

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drink all night. Unfortunately, the check bounce from your company because they had insufficient fun.

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Well, fortunately, I got a nice little plan with some Ford's checks and the Cayman Islands again.

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All right. That was our improv. We are going to move to our last segment which is our Eclair and

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that is our positive advice and I think it's my turn to go first. So in life, we've kind of talked

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about priorities but it's good to have fun but make sure that you're fun and that your hobbies

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and all that good stuff doesn't take the place of the people that you love because it can be so easy

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to just be like, you know what? I'm going to be really into golfing or for me, I'm really big

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into wrestling and if I'm not careful, I can let that become more of a priority than spending time

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with the ones that I love. So make sure that you use your hobbies are good but make sure that your

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priorities are set right. Yeah, absolutely. Mine is making sure that even when everybody else is

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doing something, even when you know it's not right and they know it's not right, don't follow the trend

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and what I mean by that, it's very, very easy. I give you a prime example. You go to a restaurant,

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you pay in cash, somebody, you know, the cashier gives you too much change back, gives you an extra

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20. A lot of people, most people would walk out and say, her mistake, got an extra 20 today, it's

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all good. I challenge you to go back in there and say, hey, you gave me an extra 20 or call it out

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when it happens. It's not easy to do but the thing is the majority of the people won't do those things

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and there are other things in life as well. I'm trying to think of some examples in the moment but

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you know, there are so many things that happen each and every day that, here's another one, I had it

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that went to a pharmacy one time and I'll admit it was at Walmart and so we went to Walmart one time

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and I was with my grandmother and we totally forgot to pay for these prescription medications that we

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had. We went to the gardening section and we walked out that way and realized that we had paid for

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some other stuff but we did not pay for the medicine and as you know, pharmacy and medicine

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very expensive and could have easily been like, oh well, you know, their mistake, we get free meds,

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all that sort of thing but now it's important to, even when everybody else would do it, don't

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follow that trend. Whenever you do the right thing, it always pays off even if you don't see the benefits

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of it but yeah man. Because I do, I do believe honestly if you like in the event of that $20

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that I was talking about, if you receive that $20 and say, oh yeah, $20 on me essentially, right?

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Like that's, I got 20 bucks. I feel like later on down the road you'll be short $20 when you need it.

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tv trashcan.com, tv trashcan.com, that's where to go for all of our websites and all of our good stuff,

382
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:09,480
right? You're doing right and you know, we got our Facebook, our YouTube, our, you know, we're on

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pretty much everything. I know a lot of y'all will be listening on Spotify, we appreciate that but yeah,

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come check out the YouTube channel, come check out the website, we got plenty of great stuff on there

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but yeah man, I think we're about ready to take this donut box out to the trash.

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All right, let's sign off. I'm Chris and I'm Micah and this is the DonaBox Podcast. See ya!

