This week on the Donut Box Podcast, it's our Christmas episode.
We're feeling festive and we're going through one of our favorite stories first and that
is Christmas at the trailer park.
We attended a wedding on Christmas Day.
Pretty wild stuff.
What else we got Christopher?
Also, find out how people down under throw a few shrimp on the Bobby as they celebrate
Christmas at the beach.
And also, does Micah know how long it took Charles Dickens to write Christmas Carol?
Find out on the donut hole.
Charles Dickens, I don't even know who Charles Dickens is.
I'm joking.
I do know who Charles Dickens is.
We'll find out the donut hole, but we'll also find out what fries my donuts, what really
fires me up about the holiday season.
There's some things that really get my goat, but we'll also talk about why I am no longer
a big Grinch and maybe I'm on my path to enlightenment.
And two pastors celebrate Christmas Eve services in a fun and interesting way.
All that and more on this Christmas episode of the Donut Box Podcast.
Let's roll the intro.
Hi, I'm Micah.
And I'm Chris.
And we've been friends for over 20 years.
Surprisingly, we haven't killed each other yet.
Years ago, we started our own variety show and it's now that we're adults, we decided
to give it another try.
And you know what it says like in the movie, life is like a box of donuts.
You never know which one's going to be the next one.
Wait a second.
It's chocolates.
Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're going to get.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Well, let's start the show.
This is the Donut Box Podcast.
All right, man.
It's Christmas.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
It's been great.
I can't believe this year is wrapping up, dude.
It's been a really fast year.
Every, I know everybody says it, but every year you're on this rock, this planet Earth,
it just seems to go faster and faster.
And so we're coming to a close in 2024 and we have started season four of the Donut Box
Podcast.
Here we are.
We are on episode five.
It is great.
I am just thrilled that we're over in five and you know, you can still see our faces
on episode five.
But Chris, how you doing, man?
You looking really festive?
Is that a John Cena Christmas sweater?
Yes, it is.
It is my John Cena Christmas sweater.
I have a wrestling shirt for every occasion, my friend, and I like to pull this bad boy
out of the closet around this time.
It's great.
I love this sweater.
Oh, well, that's fantastic.
I mean, it's good.
You know, a lot of people call things like ugly Christmas sweaters.
I don't know what constitutes.
Would you constitute that as an ugly Christmas sweater?
Yeah, no.
That's kind of the thing.
I know that there are like ugly, ugly Christmas sweaters, but now it's just Christmas sweater,
whatever.
I mean, say ugly Christmas, people just wear normal Christmas.
Oh, yeah.
It should be one Christmas sweater day or whatever.
Yeah, no.
And that was something that I was wondering.
I kind of had an office Christmas party and of course, office Christmas parties, they
always do that.
And the contest was the ugly Christmas sweater thing, but I noticed that none of them were
really ugly.
Like it wasn't that it was crazy colors.
It was all pretty normal stuff I felt like.
So yeah, I feel you.
But anyways, off that rabbit trail, welcome to the Donut Box podcast.
And we have a great episode for you for this festive holiday Christmas.
And I am really, really excited for our first segment, which is the old fashioned donut,
which is a story from our past.
And this story is near and dear to my heart.
Oh, you love this story.
It's just because it's uniquely an environment that I grew up somewhat in.
So let's get ready.
Let's set the scene.
Let's get in the Christmas spirit.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to get your eggnog or whatever Christmas beverage, your
Christmas cookies and get ready for a Christmas story for the ages, a tale is all this time
gathered the children around.
No, I'm joking.
Do not.
No, it's not one of those kind of Christmas stories.
So my grandfather, so I actually I need to go one step before this.
So Christopher and I, we moved to Texas.
And pretty much the entire reason was because my grandmother, she was when we made the decision
to move to Texas was passing away slowly or however you would like to put that.
I'm trying to put that delicately.
And so it was OK.
We need to be out there to kind of help with things and that sort of thing.
She ended up passing away before we moved out there.
But then we still said, OK, we're going to take care of my grandfather out there.
However, my grandfather, what was the time of the lady department?
We moved in June, ladies and gentlemen, June.
So timeframe for you, June.
And so we move in June and my grandmother had been barely passed away at that point.
And so we move and get everything in there.
And my grandfather starts dating a few people.
But one of the people he starts dating is this lady who was the housekeeper at the place
that he worked at.
Like he was a contractor and he was and she was the housekeeper.
So they end up, you know, getting a relationship and they got married quite quickly.
And hold on.
Before you know before you do that, OK, OK, let me let me set up some more of the background.
OK, so while we were there, he was living with us.
OK.
And this man is a very at the time, very conservative, very Christian, all that.
And we're two young teenage boys.
So he's given us lectures like you don't ever need to be alone with a girl.
Like, of course, spending the night with a girl is like, oh, that's awesome.
No, no.
Right.
Even if you come home past midnight, right?
Big no, no.
And so I remember one particular time, Micah's parental units, shall we call them?
They were like, oh, yeah, they were packing a bag for his grandfather.
And I was like, are you going somewhere?
You going out of town?
Like, you're going to see some of your other kids who was like, oh, no, I'm going to stay
the weekend at my girlfriend's house.
And I remember us being like, oh, that's really, really.
Oh, OK, so you want to preach to us about not staying.
And when we talked about it, they were like, well, they're older.
It's OK.
Like, they're not going to do anything.
They're not going to do anything.
It's like, OK, whatever.
Just like, yeah, whatever, sure.
We're packing a weekend bag and we're going over there and they're just going to stay.
You know, they're just going to watch TV while they're sitting there, you know.
And Netflix and chill.
And so, yeah, no, good, good set ups there.
But so shortly thereafter, was there a ring?
I don't remember like an engagement ring.
I don't ever remember that happening.
It was just like, it was just like, OK.
We're going to get married.
It's like, oh, OK.
And so at the time we were going to this church and my grandfather was a deacon at this church
and pretty high up in the thing.
And so he had talked to one of the pastors and was like, hey, we want to get married on
Christmas Day the 25th.
Why did they say Christmas Day?
Do you remember?
I don't know.
I really, I really don't know.
Yeah, I really don't know.
I don't think that was ever explained.
So and so they said, OK, we're going to have it at this lady's house, the lady that he
was marrying's house because it wasn't ever preface to me.
I had never been over there before.
I don't had you before to like this lady's place.
No, we had never been there.
So do you want to tell them about the morning of the wedding?
Are you getting to that point?
You can go ahead.
I'm going to let you know.
I think you should because I mean, it has more to do with your with your grandmother.
It was a little bit more sensitive to you.
OK, so first and foremost, the biggest thing that happened.
My maternal unit, is that how you would say that?
Yes, I think so.
I remember we got to a kerfluffle that morning.
That's what you're referring to.
Yes.
And we got to a nice kerfluffle because basically my maternal unit told me that the lady that
my grandfather was marrying was better than my grandmother, like the grandmother that
I knew grew up with and also had a pretty special relationship with who had just passed
the wave.
Less than at that point, I think it was about six months.
Yeah.
And Michael is really, I think, I don't know, you're pretty close to all your grandparents,
but like I would say out of all your grandparents, that was probably when you were the closest
to or had the most special relationship with, I would say, like you had you had a lot of
love for your Nana.
So yeah, for sure.
And so when she said that, it was like, oh, that that ain't cool.
So I just I remember it was already like a bad deal.
And man, I'll be honest, I kind of blocked a lot of that out.
I don't remember.
I really I don't remember like what happened after that.
I remember.
Do you remember?
So what happened?
I remember what led up to it.
So what happened was they're over the fireplace.
There used to be this big picture.
I don't know why I didn't remember that.
There used to be this big picture of Micah's grandmother and grandfather.
And so the crazy part was is they just kind of it was almost like his grandmother didn't
exist.
Like she had barely been put in the ground and everyone just forgot about her.
So on the day of the wedding, Micah's maternal unit removed the picture from the fireplace
right above the fire.
And when that happened, something weird happened, like the clock started and again, some clocks,
they start chiming on the hour.
But this was like at seven, probably 742.
Well, I'll say this, I already interrupt you.
That clock I had we had traveled.
We had I think got that clock in Germany or something.
It was like one of those mantle clocks and the thing didn't run.
So like it never chimed like the thing never like the thing never went off.
And so like the only way that you can get it to chime is if you like lifted it up and
shook it around and made all the parts like clang.
And so what was creepy about it was when they removed that picture, that clock started going
off, right?
Like Chris saw I wasn't there, but you were you were there when you when like that clock
started going off.
Yep, I did.
And it went off and I was like, that's weird.
And everyone was like, okay.
And then Micah was like, yep, that's Nana saying she don't approve of this.
And then his maternal unit was like, no, that's Nana saying she does approve of it.
That's her saying she does approve of it.
And it's like, okay, how quickly the story changed after they got divorced, spoiler alert,
they got divorced.
So, and so like, yeah, I don't know why I didn't, for some reason, my mind said that
wasn't the same day, but that was the morning.
That was the same day.
And so anyways, we, because it was kind of early in the morning, wasn't it?
It was like nine or 10.
And I remember or probably yeah.
And I remember we were going to pick my mom up at the airport around 11 or noon.
It was around lunchtime.
And I, me and you, your maternal unit, your paternal unit and the girl I was dating at
the time, we all went together.
Okay.
I remember that we went, we all went together.
And I remember like they said it was going to be at a trailer park.
Now granted, this trailer park was nice.
This is a nice trailer park.
This trailer park is nice.
Okay.
This is the nicest one in town for sure.
This is the nicest one I've ever seen.
Yeah, for sure.
And you know, it was for a trailer park, very, very nice.
And the trailer she had was fairly nice as well.
But I remember pulling up and then shortly thereafter, my wonderful aunt pulled up with
her biker boyfriend.
I remember they pulled up on a Harley and it was like, oh, hello.
How are you?
And so, and then, you know, had an aunt and uncle show up and then trying to think there
was one other uncle that showed up, I think too.
And anyways, what ended up happening is we all went in there and they kind of had like
the couch sectionals and everything like that.
And so we all sat on the couch, but I just remembered the main thing was they had this
TV and on the TV, they had the fireplace going like the little, at the time it was a DVD
of the fireplace.
And there's just like, yep, we got this DVD of this fireplace.
Doesn't it seem so real because this TV was kind of in a place where it would look like
a fireplace would be kind of like, but instead it's and so they were even like, yep, it almost
feels warm.
It's like, oh gosh.
And what happened next, Chris?
So I feel bad for this pastor because this pastor agreed to like come out there on Christmas
and it wasn't like a two o'clock wedding, three o'clock wedding.
This was Christmas morning when he would be opening presents with his kids.
Like it was, I want to say eight or nine o'clock.
Like it was still pretty early.
Yeah.
My grandfather is an early, he prefers things rather early.
Nine o'clock is noon for him.
So we're all like dressed up in this lady's living room.
Like granted, we, I think we met her like three times maybe.
I remember, I remember two for sure of meeting her and then we, so then we're sitting in
the living room and we're just kind of like, okay.
And I remember, I, maybe I'm making this up in my head.
Maybe I'm having the Mandela effect, but I felt like something was delayed and we were
waiting for a while or maybe, maybe I'm making that up.
Maybe so, maybe, maybe I just blocked some of that out.
I remember sitting there in that living room and just, it was, it was awkward.
I just remember it was really awkward.
Did any of her family show up?
I don't know.
I don't think, well, she did have a daughter and like a granddaughter, but I don't think
they showed up.
Like I don't remember them being there.
And like it was awkward because I think my parental units were the only one that were
in somewhat support of it and like the rest of the kids were just like staunchly, I mean,
naturally, and then we got a random biker dude who we don't know from Adam and they're
just like, no, he was sketchy.
It wasn't like it was just like regular biker guy.
Like it was like, okay.
And homie kind of smelled too.
I remember having to kind of sit towards him on the couch, like kind of buy it.
It was, it was a whole thing.
So I remember like, we're, me and Mike are talking, I don't know, we're passing time.
Like that's the thing.
Like anytime me and Mike, I got away for something.
We just passed the time.
We talking about something.
So I'll pass our family shows up, they do this wedding and the wedding was probably
maybe 15 minutes.
Maybe I don't think maybe maybe like five, it was like five, 10 minutes.
Like it was pretty short because I mean, they didn't really say anything.
I don't even think they did.
They have vowels.
Like I remember they did vowels and rings and like that was it.
Okay.
There was no pictures.
Nothing.
No, there was no pictures.
And then the thing that I remember was it was kind of like, all right, thanks for coming.
And like it was like immediately, I remember it was like the wedding was over.
We stood up, we kind of talked for a minute.
And then it was like everybody kind of like ushered out to the car.
Yeah.
It wasn't like we're going to go eat a meal, like nothing that you would typically do.
Here's what I assumed.
And I'm trying to stay as family friendly.
I assumed that it was like we'd married now, get out cause we're trying to enjoy marital
bliss.
Yes.
And it's like, that's what I assumed.
But then I remember, so there was in, if you've ever been to a trailer park, a lot of times
it's in a circular deal, right?
Like it's one way you kind of have to go down a lane and up a lane.
That's how this was.
And so to get out of there, you see everybody that's behind you or in front of you because
there's only really one way and one way out.
So we're leaving and kind of a convoy and all the rest of like my father siblings are
back behind there.
And all I remember is I remember like there was kind of a road cutoff that like could
get you to kind of make another loop within the, to like kind of get back to the trailer.
And I remember like they all kind of like cut off and like went back there.
And I remember like my parental units being like, we're going to go back.
And then for some reason we didn't, like I don't remember, do you remember that?
I remember it was like, we're going to go back because they're going to start trouble.
But then we never went back.
So I was like, I don't know what I remember that.
It was just like, it was just like, okay.
But so then the saga continued.
So it was like, if that experience wasn't glorious enough, we pick up Chris's mom from
the airport, Merry Christmas.
Right.
And I haven't seen my mom in like six months, moved halfway across the country.
And like, so like, there was part of me that's a little homesick, but I was glad to see my
mom.
So Chris didn't just move out.
He moved halfway across the country.
Like it was just, and that was like, you know, his mom's first move out.
Like that was his, her first son to really move out.
And so halfway across the country was, it was a big thing.
So when she came to visit, I just remember it was like, oh yeah, it's cool.
We're going to go out to eat, but it's Christmas.
So where are you going to go to eat?
And where do we go, Chris?
We went to the Chinese buffet.
Now Micah's family did not celebrate Christmas at all.
So like there was not going to be any kind of Christmas.
I remember us just sitting like around watching TV and be like, man, I'm hungry.
And it's like, well, these are the places we got.
We can go to Buffalo Wild Wings.
We can go to IHOP or we can go to the Chinese buffet.
And so we went to the Chinese buffet.
And I remember like my, I just remember like it was weird because like my mom was meeting
my girlfriend at the time.
And like, thankfully we didn't fight on that day.
That was one of the rare days that we did not fight me and my girlfriend at the time.
And so it was a good day.
And I remember like going to the Chinese buffet and it smelled like sewer.
Like I just remember.
Bro, and what's wild is we still ate.
Like maybe, maybe I'm more mature now and like, just like, nah, I can't do this.
But like for some reason we still just was like, nah, we'll just, we'll just power a
third and everybody just still ate.
Even though, I don't know, but it was literally like a Christmas vacation or not Christmas
vacation Christmas story.
We're at the end.
They're eating at the Chinese restaurant and like it was us and a few people, but like
I just remember being like, okay, we're eating Chinese food on Christmas.
And then I remember like catching up with my mom and that's when she discovered that
we did not share the fudge that she sent us in the care package.
Cause my mom, like a couple of weeks before she sent us like, as Micah said in previous
episodes, she would always send us care packages.
And so she sent us fudge.
I don't mean to interrupt.
I'd be watching some of these prison documentaries, especially lately.
This does, this sounds so much like prisons.
Like, yeah, man, I got my care package from my girl, like, or from my mom.
And it was full of snacks, right?
Like stuff you can't get at commissary.
Here you couldn't get from the pantry.
And my mom said it like in this USPS box, like, and I just remember being like, and
at the time that's when Micah's grandfather lived with us and I knew that they were all
going to eat up the fudge and I was like, man, this wedge is really good.
And so me and Micah like are in our room like hiding, contributing like snacks, like under
our mattresses, like under the underneath.
And like we had in that box and I remember I just be like, Micah, my mom sent me this
fudge I said, but I'm not sharing with anybody but you like, we'll keep it in here.
Like we're going to, and I think we, I think we hit it somewhere.
So Micah's maternal unit wouldn't find it.
But I remember my mom getting back and she was like, she was asking his parents like,
Hey, did you enjoy the fudge I sent you?
And they were like, we didn't get any fudge.
She was like, Christopher, did you not get the fudge?
And I was like, yeah, we got the fudge, but I didn't share it with nobody.
But Micah, Micah was like, it was good, Miss Debbie.
Classic.
Yeah, that was, that was the kind of stuff, man.
Yeah, I'm telling you, like it's weird.
What is the, I think it's the tale of two cities.
It was like the time, and I know I'm rabbit trailing here, but when we first moved to
Lubbock for whatever reason, like my parental units did not, we, Chris and I had to share
a room even though there was a guest room that was wide open that nobody was using.
So we had to share this room and it's, it's interesting because it was like, it was the
best of times.
It was the worst of times.
If you've ever had to share a room with a dude, even your, even your friend, like love
the guy, but it's just like, I like to have a room worth this space.
Like it's good to have space.
It was like, and I'm sure it'd be different now as an adult, but it was like, man, the
smells that came out of there was rather interesting.
Or it'd be like, it'd be like, and at the time, Micah was more of a night owl.
So like, it'd be like, oh, I want to go to sleep, but he's wants to be up playing video
games.
And I'm like, okay, that's cool.
Like I'll play video games.
Like I'm trying to go to sleep.
Or you do like, when you're in that close quarters, you just, when like, you're like,
okay, this is my half of the room.
This is your half of the room.
Like I, we weren't that bad, but I literally equate it to like stepbrothers.
When they're sharing the room together and they're just getting on each other's nerves.
And you're like, bro, like you can't put two teenage boys sharing half, because the room
wasn't even that big, but like, you can't have them share the room and then like them
not fight.
Like what, what I think is funny too, it'd be like Chris would be, because it'd be getting
into fights.
You just be irritated about, I could see why, and I know this is another rabbit drill, but
I could see why people in prison in such close quarters, especially if you're doing like a
23 in one with another person, like why you get into fights because it'll be over some
like small stuff.
I remember he'd be like, are you playing a fight simulator again?
It's like, yeah, you got a problem with that.
Or you know, it's like, we're just like, or like, or like you'd be playing your music
and I'm like, stop.
And then you just play it louder.
And then you're like, what are you going to do about it?
And then that's when like, I'd be putting them in headlocks and like everything like
bro, he'd be using his police training in crap.
It's just like, aw man, it was, it was a whole thing.
So it's like, stop, stop, stop.
He'd be, he'd be doing like chicken wing maneuver.
It's like, nah, dude, but it's like, it's funny because I equate that time.
It was like, it was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.
It was like, it's like, I have a lot of good memories with that.
It's like, but I also have a lot of like, that really sucked too.
Those are also the time where like, we would sneak out of the window to go get Burger King
at like 11 at night.
And we were like, open the, because again, like it's not that we could have walked out
the front door, but like the, the alarm, not the alarm, but like there will always be a
ding whenever the door opened and it'll be like door open, you know, those things.
And so like anytime that they'd be like, why are you going out?
Like you, you'd be getting interrogated when you came back in.
It'd be the Spanish Inquisition.
Like they'd be asking you a thousand questions.
They'd be like, where'd you go?
Who were you with?
It's like, it was being Chris.
We went to Burger King.
Look, the bag is right here.
And then it'd be like, why are you going to Burger King for?
How much did that cost?
Why are you spending money?
You just got your first job.
You shouldn't be spending money.
And it's just like, bro, relax.
And it's just like, you really should be saving.
College is coming.
College ain't cheap.
You think I'm going to be paying all that stuff for college?
And it's just like, dude, relax.
And it's just like, then your five for five deal at Burger King is no longer a very good
deal.
Now is it because you had to go through all this crap to get it?
Yeah.
So we'd be going out the window and then we'd be putting the screen back on, taking
the, bro, it was fun times.
Good times, man.
Good times.
I'm glad that we could take that little trip down memory lane.
But let's keep the ball rolling with this Christmas episode.
And so the next donut, normally we do the jelly donut, which is a jail report, but we're
going to do the fruit cake donut.
And this is about Christmas traditions around the world.
Are you ready for this, Micah?
First of all, I hate fruit cake.
And I hate that.
I don't think anybody likes it.
I don't like that the segment has called that, but we're going to go with it.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's Christmas.
It's festive.
Let me not be a cringe.
It's festive.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
So as I alluded to in the intro in Australia, it says there's no such thing as a quote unquote
white Christmas because it's warm, right?
So since the southern hemisphere, usually it's like summertime.
So a lot of times people go to the beach, they do backyard barbecues, walks in the park,
and they go swimming on Christmas Day, which we don't go swimming on Christmas Day in Texas,
but we do barbecue on Christmas.
We do barbecue.
Now, I will say this, it is hot there.
Where I've lived, where I live down here, I've had a few hot Christmases where it's been
up in the 90s too.
So like I could see there being some activity.
If there was a beach here, I could see people being on the beach.
I was like traditionally here in Texas, Christmas Day has always been warm.
That's kind of tradition.
But yeah, it's interesting.
Not a lot of white Christmas here either.
But go ahead.
Okay.
In Czechoslovakia, I hope I'm saying that right.
Hey, you said it right.
Yeah.
So in the in Czech, I'm just going to.
So while Turkey or here may be the centerpiece of Christmas meals everywhere else, it's fish.
So fish is kind of a big deal in Czech.
So those that don't wish to eat fish, they can partake in the Christmas tradition by
buying a fish, keeping it in the bathtub for a few days before letting it go.
Also another carp related practice is to put one or two scales in your wallet to ensure
that there will always be money in it throughout the year.
So it's like a superstition or a tradition kind of.
So how do you, how do you feel about fish on Christmas?
I wonder, I wanted the smell of the, of the scale that you put in your wallet one, but
two, it actually, you unlocked a core memory for me that I haven't remembered in forever.
So and I hate to go down memory lane again, but it's Christmas time when I was a child,
I lived in Germany and lucky enough, my grandmother was German.
So we had family in Germany and my male parental unit was in the military.
And so he would be deployed quite a bit.
And so the first Christmas we were in Germany, he was not there.
What we ended up doing is we went to my grandmother's brother's house who was in the north of the
country and he was, I think she might have been checked.
No, I think she was Danish or something.
She was not German, but the gal that he was dating was from somewhere else and she did
make fish for Christmas.
I remember she made fish, but it was the, not Ludifisk, but it was like in the gelatinous.
It was like in the shell.
That is Ludifisk.
Is that Ludifisk?
And I just remember as a kid, I was just like, could you make me mac and cheese?
And she was just like, she was just like, she was just like, what is mac and cheese?
And they like explained to her like it's just pasta with cheese.
And I remember she was like, sure, I'll make you mac and cheese.
But I do remember that.
I remember taking one look at that and being like, I don't think so, dude.
I don't not, I don't, I like my fish hot.
I don't like it cold.
And then, and then in jello, you know.
Yep.
So also another tradition in check is so if you're unmarried, right?
Women will throw a shoe on Christmas day and if the tip points towards a certain door,
or if a tip points towards the door, she's destined to be married within a year.
So that's kind of a like superstitious tradition thing that women do, I guess.
Throw the shoe, huh?
Okay.
Yep.
Throw the shoe.
All right.
In Denmark, literally they dance around the Christmas tree.
They hold hands as a family while they sing Christmas songs.
So like in the Grinch, when they sing Fahu Dorees, that is a Denmark tradition.
Hathens, you know what?
There'd be worship and false idols with that.
No, that sounds interesting.
Now, I've seen stuff like that.
I don't know if it's the Christmas thing, but I've seen them do the trees with the ribbon.
Have you seen that where they like run around the tree with the ribbon singing song too?
So maybe it's something like that.
Like that too.
They also, the tree is typically adorned with real candles.
And I don't know how that works, but apparently they put real candles.
So another tradition they also do in Denmark is children will leave a bowl of, and I don't
know how to pronounce it, but it's sweet porridge for the house elves outside.
So kind of like how people leave out milk and cookies for Santa.
They leave out sweet, sweet porridge.
So.
Oh, okay.
But that's cool.
They leave it outside?
Yeah, they like, or maybe just leave it out like again, kind of how they do it.
Okay.
Because for me, and maybe this is just my practical mind, I'm like, that's how you attract ants
and everything.
You know, leave something like that outside.
Go ahead.
Thomas, I'm milk and cookies.
So in Ethiopia, it says that 44% of Ethiopians are part of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church.
So a lot of them, like many Orthodox denominations, they celebrate Christmas in January.
So they don't do santo or exchange gifts.
But again, it's more focused on like the Abbot season.
So they, for 43 days, they do a fast before Christmas, so they don't eat meat, fat, eggs,
or dairy products.
And so they celebrate Christmas day, which is on January 7th.
And then on that day, they dress in white to go to mass in the morning.
And then they play like a field hockey type game.
I don't know how to pronounce it.
But it says that that game originated after Ethiopian shepherds heard the news of Jesus'
birth and in their jubilee began flinging things with their crooks.
So that's kind of a neat like tradition celebration type deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, it sounds fun.
It's almost like, you know, having a football game after finding out about Jesus.
Yeah, it's great.
So three more here.
In France, so they do Kings cake and Kings cake here is normally associated with Mardi
Goura, but that came from France as a Christmas tradition.
And so if you don't know what King cake is, it's a cake and inside the cake is usually
like a little baby Jesus.
And then whoever gets the piece with the baby Jesus, I guess they're the winner of whatever
it's like you're, it's like you're lucky.
It's basically, it's like, it's like you, it's a superstition thing as well.
It's like, if you get that, then you're the lucky one that got the, yeah.
Yeah.
So, so a lot of it is like kind of Christmas coupled with the pagan traditions, I think.
So which Constantine made Christmas on December 25th to help celebrate the winter solstice
to make Christmas more appealing to the pagans, which is an interesting fact.
So yeah, in Portugal, they usually have a meal, which is called consada.
And so for those who are religious, the meal usually consists of salted cod and other,
other dishes and that can usually take place either before or after the midnight mass and
marks the end of a fasting period before Christmas.
Okay.
Kind of like how they do Dia de los Martos, those that have passed away, they set up a
candle and the light and all that stuff.
And it's supposed to help comfort and warm the souls of those that have passed away.
So kind of similar to Dia de los Martos that, that is celebrated in Mexico.
So they kind of do the same thing around Christmas time.
Last one, in Syria, the camel is the star of serious Christmas.
So the camel takes the place of Santa and bringing gifts to well-behaved children,
facing back to the legend that camels carried the three wise men to Bethlehem to see baby
Jesus who then blessed the creatures with eternal life.
So that's the superstition.
To welcome him, children fill their shoes with hay and put out bowls of water on Christmas
Eve.
They also read the nativity story under candlelight, burn a bonfire of dried thorn branches with
the belief that if the thorns disintegrate completely into ash, the incoming year will
have good fortune.
So they, in Syria, they kind of base it more on the camel and Santa Claus.
So if the thorns are still there after the fire, it's like, oh, Lord, it's about to be
a bad year.
Right.
So I guess that's the bad year.
I think when you did this two years ago, you shared that in Japan, they ate KFC on Christmas
Day, which is very interesting.
I think about that all the time too.
It's like, let's go get some fried chicken on Christmas.
Just got out like we ate Chinese food on Christmas Day.
They ate American food.
It's just like, it's just right.
The opposite.
It's just like, man, I don't know.
It's like Western holidays.
We go Eastern.
They go Western.
I was like, the world goes around.
We are the world.
Ebony and ivory.
I'm just kidding.
Okay.
Are you ready to move?
After that, I'm definitely, after that, I'm definitely ready to move on.
I felt like Carlton from Fresh Prince.
That's so bad.
Okay.
All right.
Are you ready?
This is a Christmas trivia.
We're going to play a Christmas trivia game and see if you know the answer.
Okay.
Oh Lord.
Yeah.
Let's try it.
Just take your best guess.
This involves Christmas movies, Christmas carols, anything Christmas.
Okay.
All right.
Number one, which movie featured an actor who has only paid $414 for his role in the
movie because he did the role as a personal favor to the director.
Is it A, Joe Pesci in Home Alone, B, Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation, C, John Candy
in Home Alone, or D, Jim Carrey in the Grinch?
It's actually John Candy in Home Alone.
That is.
He did that small cameo.
I didn't hear about that.
He did that small cameo as a favor and just didn't want hardly anything for it.
I mean, it is a very short part, but it is kind of funny.
They also said he ad-libbed all of his lines, so he didn't have a script or nothing.
He just made them all up.
I mean, I think, I wish John Candy didn't pass away.
He was a really good actor.
Yes, he was.
All right.
How long did it take Charles Dickens to write A Christmas Carol?
A?
Who?
Huh?
Who?
Oh my God.
Stop playing.
I'm going.
The Mississippi education.
Okay.
Sorry.
Anyway.
What was the first thing you did to make a Christmas Carol?
A, four weeks.
B, six weeks.
C, eight weeks.
Or D, 10 weeks.
I'm going to go with eight weeks because it's not a short deal.
I mean, it's actually six weeks.
Six weeks.
Wow.
He was writing fast.
He must have been writing pretty fast because it's not a short book.
Yeah.
Crazy.
All right.
Which country did the Christmas themed ballet, the Nutcracker, first premiere in?
Which country?
A, Russia, B, France, C, Italy, or D, England?
I'm going to say France.
It's actually Russia.
Russia.
Okay.
I mean, that does make sense.
Did they ever take you to go see that as a field trip at school?
The Nutcracker?
No, but did go see it at the opera house in Germany at one point.
I didn't understand any of it because it was all in German, but you know, it was, it was
still fun.
I do remember it.
That's really good.
Okay.
All right.
Which Christmas song was originally condemned by the Roman Catholic Church?
Ooh.
A, Santa Baby, B, Jingle Bell Rock.
C, I want to hipopotamus for Christmas or D, I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.
I'm going to say Santa Baby because that one's kind of an edgy one.
It's actually I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus because they said it promotes adulterous
affairs.
Okay.
My thing is it's like a lot of these songs, we've been promoting some stuff.
I mean, Santa Baby is very.
Yep.
Yeah.
All right.
Which item, which Christmas item is used to help kids remember the birth of Jesus?
Is it A, tinsel, B, popcorn strands, C, candy canes or D, nutcrackers?
I'm going to say popcorn strands because I feel like I remember making those a lot.
It's actually candy canes.
Candy canes?
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Do you know what each part of the candy cane represents?
Yeah.
No, I don't actually.
So you could probably put two into get, what do you think the red represents?
Not sure.
So the red represents Jesus's blood.
The white represents when like Jesus makes your heart.
Like pure and clean.
And then the staff looks like a shepherd's staff and then you turn around and it's a
jade.
I never knew this.
Why did I never know this?
No, I never knew any of this.
Yeah.
This is news to me.
The guy who made the candy cane invented it as a way for kids to remember like Jesus.
So I did not know that.
I just thought it was like, okay, peppermint and I didn't know how to design, but hey,
it makes sense.
All right.
Learn something new today.
There you go.
All right.
The celebrated Christmas truce temporarily halted fighting during what war?
A civil war, B World War One, C World War Two, or D the French and Indian War.
It was the first world war, wasn't that?
Yeah, it was.
Yeah.
That's, that's a wild story, man, because I couldn't imagine having to go back to fighting
after that.
And I mean, I'm sure some of you don't know, I'll make a brief pretty much they called a
truce and it was kind of like a field day at school from what it sounded like.
Basically everybody got to the field of battle that they were doing.
They played soccer together.
They like eight food together.
A lot of the guys were talking about how just, you know, you'd been taught these were the
enemy, but then, you know, you'd be talking about, you know, these are my kids.
These are my kids.
And like, you know, everybody's just human.
They imagine how hard it must be then going back to like, okay, now we're shooting at
each other kind of thing.
Yeah, that would have been really, really hard.
Yeah.
They had like, like said soccer and snowball fight.
Like they had a, they had like, it was cool.
Like it was like a moment in history.
Yeah.
It was like a whole event.
I mean, it was, it was a really cool thing.
I wonder, you know, how many stories out of that of like, okay, somebody could have maybe
executed somebody or killed somebody or something bad could have happened and they didn't because
they had met them during this experience or something like that.
How many stories of kind of more, how do I put this, you know, humanity stories coming
out of something like that because things, you know, because they were able to meet up
like they did.
I'm curious.
I don't think we'll ever know though.
Yep.
All right.
Next question.
What well-known Christmas Carol became the first song ever broadcasted from space in
1965?
A. Jingle Bells.
B. Silent Night.
C. Hark the Herald Angels sing or D. Away in a Major.
I'm going to go with A. Yeah.
It's Jingle Bells.
Jingle Bells.
I feel like that's the, the classic like banner song of Christmas.
I don't know why.
Yeah, I feel like that's the, you know, the whole thing.
All right.
In what modern day country was St. Nicholas born?
A. Greece.
B. Hungary.
C. Romania or D. Turkey?
Romania, right?
It was Turkey.
It was Turkey, huh?
Okay.
Heck yeah.
All right.
Who was the first person to be credited with putting Christmas lights on a tree?
A. Abraham Lincoln.
B. Constantine.
C. Martin Luther or D. Jonah Bark?
Well, I think you kind of alluded to it earlier, didn't you?
Did you say Constantine and had the candles in the tree?
No, I just said Constantine was the one who helped bridge the gap between pagans and all
that.
But it's Martin Luther actually.
Okay.
It was Martin Luther.
Okay.
So, I think it's, his story is pretty crazy and I've heard like eight versions of what
actually happened with him.
So, it's kind of interesting too.
That's crazy.
All right.
Which U.S. President banned Christmas trees at the White House?
A. FDR.
B. Teddy Roosevelt.
C. Herbert Hoover or D. Howard Taft?
You know what?
I'm going to take a total guess and I'm going to say Hoover because I heard Hoover was kind
of a jerk.
So, I'm going to guess Hoover.
It's actually Teddy Roosevelt because he was an environmentalist.
Yeah.
Well, I guess that's true and he did all sorts of stuff.
My thing is you're going to ban trees but you don't want to did the canal and how many
trees you knocked down to make that Panama Canal?
Come on now.
Crazy.
All right.
Two more.
The song Jingle Bells was originally written to celebrate what holiday?
A. the Fourth of July.
B. Easter.
C. Thanksgiving or D. Halloween.
I didn't know it was anything other than Christmas.
I think it's going to be Fourth of July.
What holiday would be associated with bells?
Thanksgiving.
Maybe they just changed the name.
It's Thanksgiving?
Yep.
That's what I was saying.
Really?
Okay.
Well, shoot.
I guess.
Hey, that's fine with me.
I'd be jingling bells too knowing I'm getting my turkey here in a little bit.
I'm going to move right on past that.
Okay.
All right.
Last one.
Come on, man.
Low and slow over home plate.
What Christmas movie is regarded as one of the all time worst movies ever made?
Like of all, not just Christmas movies, worst movies ever made.
A. Scrooge.
B. Santa Claus conquers the Martians.
C. Krampmus or D. Twas the night before Christmas starring Clark and Gable.
I'm going to go with B because that sounds terrible.
Yes.
That sounds terrible.
And I have watched that movie.
Yeah.
That's horrible.
So I don't know if my dad did this, like knowing that the movie was bad, but I remember
one year, like, do you remember at, um, like Walmart, they still have them now, but like,
where you have like the $5 bin, do you?
Right, right.
Back then, like a $1 or like a $3.
A $3.
Whatever.
And so he brought that movie home and we watched it all together as a family and like, I know
1950 science fiction is bad, but like this movie, like you're sitting here going like,
what are we what?
Like, are these people on an acid trip?
Was it like a fever dream?
Like was it?
Yeah.
It was, and my dad was like, he was like, this movie is terrible.
He was like, I'm so sorry I got this movie.
He was like, it's bad.
Like, and for my dad to say that it was like, dude.
And so we would always joke, but like, do you want to watch Santa Claus conquers the
Martians?
We'd be like, no, it's really bad.
You should look it up.
It's out there on YouTube.
Or so movie ever.
So and was there like any redeeming qualities?
Like it was so bad.
It was funny or anything like that.
Or was it straight bad?
No, we turned it off after like 20 minutes.
We never finished a movie.
Like it's that bad.
Wow.
Is that bad?
Like you're sitting like, there's no redeeming qualities about it at all.
Like take all the 19 because 1950s movies science fiction again, it's cheesy, right?
Like those are cheesy.
But like you're sitting here going like, this is bad.
Like really everything about this is bad.
Like, well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen, Santa Claus conquers the Martians.
Just that's a, that's a no go if you, if you're looking to do that.
Or if you're just a glutton for punishment when it comes to movies, go for it.
I guess.
But speaking of that, it's time to move into what fries my donuts and Micah, do you want
to share what has gotten you fried up about this Christmas holiday season?
Yes.
Yes, I will.
I'll let everybody know what's going on this holiday.
So my thing is, you might have heard me elude and say these things before used to be a grinch.
I'm saying I'm not anymore because, Hey, I've actually set up a tree and, you know, actually
done some Christmas decorating and watch some Christmas movies, which has been vastly different
from the last 15 years of my life there.
So that's really interesting.
I think to, to go back to how I was a grinch, we have to go back to childhood now.
We're not going all the way back to childhood.
Um, no.
So the problems fundamentally that I've had with Christmas is more, I would say, and
I'm going to call us out.
They are problems that are exclusive to the United States.
I'll say that.
And one is the obsessive obligation that this holiday brings.
That really ticks me off.
And for examples, everybody feels obligated to do gifts and I've seen it to varying degrees.
Right.
I've seen it to the point where it's like, we need to get Joe's cousins, second, third
nephew, a gift card because we're seeing them at this point.
And I'm not saying don't see anybody.
That's a whole different topic.
And I'm going to talk about seeing people and what that experience is like too.
But the biggest thing that I've noticed is there are so many, it's like people don't
even necessarily have to give other people gifts, but it starts a chain reaction.
Right.
It's like, okay, you get Joe's brother's whatever a gift card, right?
His son a gift card.
Now Joe feels obligated like, Oh, I didn't get them anything.
So I got to get them something.
Now they go and get them something.
And now what ends up happening is there's all this like, okay, I didn't get them for
this.
I didn't get them for that.
And so everybody's doing this, not to mention, let's be real, the economy is down, times
are a little tougher.
And so everybody stretches themselves at Christmas.
That's point number two.
Everybody's all upset because the money's tight because again, we had to get Joe's
Schmoes so and so cousin's daughter's kid something.
And so it's like, since we had to get Joe's something, his kid something, his wife's
something, and it's just like you have that times 30 family members or coworkers or whatever
the case may be.
You've now maxed out your credit cards.
Congratulations.
You've now maxed yourself out and you're sitting here going, okay.
And a lot of times it's like, it's in the back of people's mind, but they're like, we'll
solve it in the new year.
That's fine.
Like it's okay.
But the problem is you start going through the holiday and this is the third point.
You get to be with family and chances are family, at least one person is going to cause
something.
That's the thing that I can't stand about Christmas and being around family is because
somebody is going to say something and it's either going to hurt or offend you or somebody
else in the room and it all of a sudden side start forming.
And then what ends up happening is now you got two camps and then it's like there, there
could be an eventual blow up and all this other crap and it's just like, dude, not to
mention the gift time comes up, right?
We're going back to the gifts.
Now we're with people and we're in this whole setting.
We're sitting in front of everybody.
They have now stretched themselves, maxed out their credit card to get you whatever this
gift you're about to open is, right?
And so you're now sitting there, the eyes of the world are upon you.
The pictures are being taken.
If you react anything other than on par and what's hard is you have to get it into a balance
range, right?
This is where it really just gets me because you have to get it in a range.
You can't be like, oh yeah, thanks.
I appreciate it because they're going to be like, oh, well, he doesn't like it.
And then all of a sudden next thing you know, internally they're going, well, why did I get
this shmuck something?
That's 40 bucks.
I'm going to save whatever, right?
And then all of a sudden this is this whole thing.
Now if you go too far, like, oh my God, I love it.
I love it.
This is great.
People are going to be like, dude, if you don't like it, you could just say something, right?
Like you don't have to go all crazy to try to convince me and all this other stuff, right?
So you have to hit it right on par.
Like, oh man, hey, thanks.
I really appreciate it, which over the years gotten okay at, but really at first.
So all that to say this, look at how much you're.
I'm having and you're having to pay attention to and contend with all for a holiday that's
supposed to be about peace, relaxation and celebrating the birth of Jesus.
Like that's what it's supposed to be about, but it's, it tends to be stressful, full of
obligation and then not to mention, I didn't even mention if you're traveling.
This is even, this is even if you're just in town, like I'm talking these are the frustrations,
if you have family and events in town, because if you're talking about flying, flying with
kids, whatever the case is, it just triples quadruples because the airport experience
during holidays is 10 times worse.
Nobody has their mind, including, you know, shopping places as well.
You know, last minute shopping, don't want to try that either because nobody has any
sense.
Nobody has their minds.
And again, they've maxed out their credit cards.
So they ready to swaying.
So it's like, it's one of those things of you gotta, you gotta really be careful what's
going on.
And so for me, and why I said, I feel like that's really endemic to the United States.
I don't know why this episode I brought up being in Germany so much, but here we are,
I guess, because there's such a difference in Christmas and how they celebrated over there
versus how they celebrated over here.
Over here, it's very gift centric.
It's all about the gifts.
It's all about what you're doing for other people kind of thing, right?
And it's part of it is how it makes you feel good or whatever to in German culture and
how they celebrate in Germany.
Like, yes, there's gifts, but you get everybody like one gift and it's small and it's not
really about the gift.
It's like, here are your Christmas slippers that are made out of like sheep's wool.
And it's like, that's a nice gift keeps my feet warm when it's cold, but it's not anything
that you're sitting here going like, you're not doing the whole Michael Scott at a gift
event where it's like, oh my gosh, I got 400 bucks of an iPod and I'm trying to figure
this out.
You know, it's very simple and the rest of it is spend time with your family.
Every business is closed.
You couldn't shop if you want to.
Just relax.
Just don't do anything.
That's the whole point.
And so I think we've got it all wrong when how we do a lot of things and, you know, but
at the same time, we can also make the holiday, whatever we want to make it.
And so that's why I'm trying to make it what you want to make it and kind of be a little
bit more restful and relaxing.
I know that was long, but there's a lot that fires me up about Christmas.
This is what I want to say.
I appreciate when people just bring like baked goods.
Like if you just, when they bring you like a base, like that's all you have to do for
like you baked me things, you brought me pot, whatever, like that's good.
That's good enough for me.
Like you don't have to go all out.
Like, yeah, right.
Enjoy.
And this is what I want to normalize.
I want to normal, like go back to the family thing.
Like I want to normalize like, I've seen this in several Christmas movies, like for Christmas's
or Christmas with the cranks where they're like, Hey, we're, we're just going to go on
vacation on Christmas day.
Like we're going to go on a cruise.
We're going to go on vacation, but like no one can comprehend that.
Like everyone is upset.
They're like, you're being a grinch.
You're being bad.
And like literally in Christmas with the cranks, they're like, we're not going to do Christmas
this year.
And they let everyone know, Hey, like, do not feel obligated to get me a gift.
I'm not going to get you a gift because we're not celebrating Christmas because we're going
to go on a cruise instead.
And every time that they say that people just cannot understand, they're like, you're being
a grinch.
And it's like, it's not that we're not celebrating Christmas.
We're just celebrating Christmas and we're going on a cruise.
We're letting you know upfront so that if you don't receive a gift from us, don't feel
obligated to get us a gift because we're not getting you a gift.
Like I feel like that was the mature thing to the mature way to handle it.
Like, yeah, I'll be real with you.
Christmas with the cranks, that movie just drives me up the wall and it's not just because
of like, okay, the daughter's coming in town abruptly and all the problems they're facing
there.
It's exactly what you're talking about.
The neighbors have this expectation.
It's like, well, every year you set up and have this set up and it's very selfish of
them because they tell the neighbors like, hey, we're going to go on this cruise.
It's really nice.
Our daughter's not going to be in town.
Why do we need to do the big to do?
And they're like, no, you need to do the big to do for our kids and for our stuff.
And it's just like, bro, if you want the big lights and the big set up, you can put that
on your house.
You know what I mean?
It's one of those things.
But again, you look at that movie and what did they end up doing?
He ended up doing a lot of that stuff out of obligation because it was like, he got
harped on so many times to where it's like, okay, fine, I'll just put it up.
And that's not what it's supposed to be about.
You know what I mean?
That's not what Christmas is supposed to be about at all.
To me, if I want to celebrate the birth of Jesus by going on vacation and having a good
time like with my wife and the people that I like hanging out with like, okay, and I
get it, I know family, that's the one time a year like you get together and you don't
only see it, but here's what I learned.
And I think we just need to, and this isn't the positive advice, but I think we need to
be okay.
Like your immediate family, okay, that's a different situation, right?
Like, yes, maybe you should be more intentional about it.
And there are some situations not going to go into them where you have to cut your immediate
family off, but for like aunts, uncles, like all cousins, boy, cut them people off, bro.
You don't see them all year.
Now it's one thing if you all are like a normal family, you all do see each other, but that
one cousin, cousin Jimmy that you only see once at Christmas, cut that.
Or that I, or I haven't seen him in like eight years and it's just like, why don't you ever
come and see me?
It's like, why don't you ever come and see me?
Yeah, it's like, oh, you need to be around for it.
I ain't seen that fool in six years.
Cut that fool off.
That's what I, my deal is family is like, he's your family.
Family is more than blood.
I'll tell you that right now.
Like the older I get, choose your family.
Like you get to choose your family.
It saves, it saves so many headaches.
It really does because my thing is, and you know what Chris was talking about, about normalizing
this stuff.
And the other thing is if I had all the money in the world and, you know, and things like
that, it's like, I would get all the people that I consider family.
We just get like a big old Airbnb house or something like that, right?
Everybody has their own room, but we all just hang out for Christmas.
Like that sounds like a good plan.
We don't necessarily have to have it at somebody's house and it doesn't have to be like a load
of gifts.
Like what if it's just a trip to the mountains?
Like what if it's an experience instead of a gift?
Like why, why is that not a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,
be honest, I can't tell you what I got for Christmas five years ago, but I can remember,
but I can remember Thanksgiving last year when we hung out with y'all.
Like you experiences, I feel like you should do like, I remember before Christmas, me and
my wife went to this Harry Potter, whatever thing in Dallas and it was like, I remember
that.
So it's like, yeah, but anyways, we can talk a long time about that.
Yeah, we can, we could go all day about, you know, Christmas and, you know, some of the
things, but you know, it is a wonderful time of year.
And I'll tell you this much, I'm really excited for our next segment because I know Chris
is too.
I see the look on his face because it's our improv segment.
And I'm going to say this, it was, it might have been a little pre-chosen, but it's okay
because it's our Christmas episode and one of our favorite things to do.
Chris and I, Chris is a man of the cloth currently.
And you know, I had aspirations to be something like that.
So the thing is, if you watched our previous episode, when it talked about the siblings
of God and things like that, listen, man, we know how to kind of preach like that.
But on the realm of, let's just say this, I think if we wanted to start a church, like
I really would want to start an African American style church.
I love the way that they be doing things.
And I tell you, when our preacher voice be coming out, it does have that little bit
of twang to it.
I will say that.
Yep.
I'm excited.
So we're going to do two pastors at Christmas Eve services.
Easy softball.
Are you ready?
Easy softball.
All right.
Do you want to start?
I will start.
All right.
We're gathered here today to celebrate the Savior whose name is Jesus, who was born over
2000 years in a manger.
He was born in a manger so he could down across.
And we're here today because it's not about Santa Claus.
It's not about the presents.
It's not about the Easter Bunny, even though Easter's six months away.
It's about Jesus.
Can I get an amen?
Hallelujah.
I'm seeing a lot of you faces in here today that I hadn't seen from last Easter come to
think of it.
So I just want to reach out to you and ask, where's the time's been?
Where's the visitation been?
Where has things been in these few months since we've seen you?
I just want to ask you a question.
Is it something we did wrong?
Or are you finally ready to accept the fact that Jesus has a plan for your life?
And the next thing that I want out of your mouth is to say Jesus has come to save me
at this church at this time.
And I'm going to come back for more than just Easter because we need the ties at this church.
Oh, come on, somebody.
Let me tell you, and you better not say amen because I know I'm about to make a few folks
angry.
But some of y'all in here, you treat Jesus like an Amazon Prime membership.
You like the seven day free trial, but as soon as it costs you something, you want to hit
cancel on the whole relationship.
But you need to subscribe.
You need to pay that premium because Jesus paid the premium price when he came down here
in a manger.
He didn't cancel his account.
He didn't cancel his relationship.
He didn't cancel the destination.
Because some of y'all, you put more on your Christmas list and you believe in Santa more
than in your relationship with God.
So you can sing the songs to every Taylor Swift song.
You can sing the songs to every Metro boom and song.
But when it comes to the old holy night, you become like a mime and you get silent on this
piece.
Oh, and the thing is, if we looked at your Netflix, if we looked at your Hulu, if we
looked at your Amazon video and we saw the login timestamps, we would see that it was
yesterday, it was today, and you'd be bench watching.
You'd be watching the Dexter and you'd be watching all the shows that got the drugs
and the violence.
But the thing that you ain't doing, if we were to check to see when you cracked the Bible
open, you would have a timestamp that was six months old.
I would tell you this right now, the Lord is telling me that you need to get rid of
the subscriptions in the new year.
The subscription you need to take is the Lord Jesus Christ.
And if you don't take his subscription, well, your time might be running out.
Your trial might be running out.
And you ain't going to be able to update the card information to get that back.
I'll tell you this much right now.
Oh, I feel it right now.
Oh, let me tell you.
Tell me you're so worried about the hustle and the bustle of daily life.
You going out in the highways and the byways and you got things on your list.
You got to get the Christmas gifts.
You got to do the Christmas party.
You got to do the Christmas ugly sweater contest.
But instead of that list, there's one list called the Lamb's Book of Life.
Is your name on it today?
I said, is your name on the Lamb's Book of Life?
Because there was a baby who came down over 2000 years ago.
They said his name shall be Emmanuel, God with us.
God with us here everlasting father.
See some of the things that you have that are lasting, they're going to burn up that
Netflix account, that job, that 401k.
So go ahead and write a check to the ministry because we know that you can't take it with
you when you go.
What are the last things I got to say?
The Lord was laying in that major and some of y'all would rather be in the end away from
Jesus, away from everything that needs to be because you want to be comfortable and
you want to have it your way like BK.
But you ain't a king.
You ain't the man.
You ain't the woman.
And the thing is, you got to give it all to him.
Just like you got to give it to MC ministries.
That's what I got to say because the Lord is telling me right now that instead of getting
that Mercedes Benz and putting that red ribbon on there and say, honey, this is yours.
You could be giving that check and low it out pay the thousand for the big check for
the picture.
And I'll have it personally assigned to me and we'll have that picture out there.
And if you want to have that happen, I feel like somebody in this audience wants to have
that happen.
The 50 grand check could happen.
And I believe that this Christmas and he's all about the miracles and I believe in miracles
in this situation.
You know what, I think it's time to pray.
Yep, it's time to pray.
Lord, we thank you for coming down from heaven to come down here on earth.
We pray for sisters and brothers who don't have joy.
They got anger.
They got gossip in the house.
But Lord, we thank you that you are the everlasting father, the wonderful counselor, the mighty
prince of peace Emmanuel.
So God, we thank you Lord that you didn't put us on the naughty list.
But you put us on the same list and Lord, you don't have to check it twice because you
already know Jesus.
So I pray that some of these people will put their name not on a Christmas list, but on
the list of the Lamb's Book of Life.
And God, I thank you that we don't have to worship a fat man with a beard that we can
worship you.
The only man with the beard, the carpenter, and you could put our name on the Lamb's Book
of Life.
Oh Lord, I'm stuck on that.
I'll tell you this.
Life has been good this year, but I tell you this much.
I ask that the life in 2025 be even better for these people, especially whoever decides
to give the big check to the ministry.
Their life is going to accelerate and it is going to grow.
Exponential growth, I believe in the number seven, seven times.
It ain't just in the casino, seven, seven, seven.
It's in the bottle too.
And I'll tell you this much.
I see sevenfold coming for whoever wants it in Jesus' name.
I'll tell you this.
Last thing and last but not least, I think and I know that there are saints in this house
tonight that want more than 50K.
You know what?
We ask it for that million.
You know what?
No, no, we ask it for the jet, Lord.
We ask it for the jet because I believe that somebody is going to give us that jet.
You know what?
I think that's good enough.
You want to say it?
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Oh, I love how you added the jet on there.
If you guys don't know, there is one of these famous televangelists who asked for a jet
and when he was like, well, how are you going to pay for it?
He said, the Lord told me, Jesse, you ain't got to worry about how you're going to pay
for it.
He said, you're going to leave me for it.
I said, oh, okay.
Another thing too is we actually saw him in person, this like televangelist guy.
We didn't know he was going to do all the jet business later on that he went viral for,
but yeah, we ended up seeing him at one point.
But anyways, yeah, I love doing the preacher voice like Chris and I just just a little
tidbit.
So I got a little microphone for my wedding because I didn't think that the venue was going
to provide one and it's got like a speaker built in and you can you can do Bluetooth with
it.
But we would do preacher chords behind it and we'll give each other topics and we'll
just preach about whatever and we'll just go into and it always ends up being really
good.
I'm just going to shout out Chris.
There was one time we went into, I was, I'd be giving Chris hard with, I was like, you
got to preach about dog food.
Like somehow equated.
I just remember he was like, he's like, some of y'all be smelling like you be eating the
apple and the kibble and bitch.
What is wrong with you?
You can take anything and you can turn into a sermon.
You can.
It's like a, it's like a, I do use it sometimes like in real life though.
Like I don't just play like it's a fun like little challenge.
It's like, how can you use this and turn it into a sermon?
So yeah, but anyways, I'm glad you guys enjoyed that.
Maybe you did.
Maybe you used to get past it, but we're going to maybe you're just like, wow, I can't
believe they're, they're doing this.
Anyway, we're going to move into our last segment, which is our E clear and that's our
positive advice and I'll go first.
I think you went first the last time.
I'm not sure, but I know that the holidays sometimes for people is not a joyous time.
And so for some people, it's a lot of firsts, right?
Like sometimes it's the first Christmas without a loved one, or maybe it's the first Christmas
going through a divorce.
Maybe it's the first Christmas without a job, whatever it is, maybe Christmas is a dark
season for you.
And I just want to remind you like we, I don't want to be cliche and be like the reason for
the season, but right?
We just, and again, we joked in the, in the improv segment, but what a lot of what we
said was true minus the money part that Jesus down here to be the light of the world.
And so there is hope.
And so if you're struggling, going through a tough time this season, like it's okay.
You don't have to feel like you have to be joyous and it's okay.
Um, cause the Bible says that God sees every tear that you cry.
And so no one is expecting, maybe they are expecting, I don't know, but like just be
okay with if it's not a joyous time for you, don't feel like you have to be fake or perform
or put on.
And if you're struggling, I know this season, cause it's coming in the winter, it can be
depressing and lonely.
Reach out to someone, please and share it with them.
Cause I don't know, man, I, I feel this like, I don't know why, um, but someone is wondering
like maybe this is the last Christmas that I'll spend the life.
Like I don't know why, but I feel like there's someone that's struggling with, maybe I shouldn't
even be here anymore.
And I want to tell you like, that's not true.
Like you are needed.
And I, I would rather you share your Christmas heart aches and all that, like with somebody,
because there are people who love you.
There's someone that loves you.
If anybody loves you, it's Jesus, right?
Like there are people that love you and a lot of times we think no one cares, um, but
there are people that are that care.
So if you are struggling and you think, man, maybe I shouldn't be here anymore.
Um, that's not true.
Like you, you were made for a reason for a purpose.
I don't know why I feel so strongly about that.
I don't know who's listening to this, but like, I just had that sense.
Like someone's thinking, man, like this is going to be my last Christmas.
And then I'm just going to end it all not to be dark, but like, dude, like I feel, I
feel that because Christmas is a hard time, but you're important.
You matter, you matter to God, you matter to the people that are around you.
Uh, and maybe they don't vocalize that, but there are people that love you.
And so ending your life is not worth it.
Okay.
So I don't know why I went on that tangent.
I just felt that like I felt that in my spirit.
No, I, I, I get you.
And you know, breakthroughs are possible.
Like the, the thing is a lot of times if you're, if you're feeling that low, what I've noticed
is cause we've, we've all been there.
People don't want to admit it, but we've all been there to where it's like, man, maybe,
maybe this is it.
Maybe I should call it quits.
Maybe there's certain situations that are like, I can't ever get out of this.
You know, it's, there are ways to absolutely get out of it.
And a lot of the times you have to hit this point in order to come up from that.
And a lot of times the ascent is very rapid to where it's, you know, I've, I don't know
why I want to say this too, but what I've noticed is sometimes the difference just a
day will make.
Sometimes it's just 24 hours.
It's literally just one day it's bad.
The next day there is a brighter outlook.
And so the thing is whatever problems you're facing, absolutely got it.
And if you don't have anybody like, like Chris said, you always got somebody in Jesus.
And then we're always here at the donut box podcast.
Put it in the comments.
We've got, we've got plenty of content to where if you, if you need family members
to talk to around the Christmas table, you can always put us on and have a conversation
with us.
We won't judge.
All right.
So for my eclair, it's a lot of the same.
But I'm trying to find this holiday season.
So one of my favorite actors is Jim Carrey.
Like I really, really like Jim Carrey.
And I think Chris will say this too.
I think what's interesting, I don't put a lot of stock into the whole like, okay, we're
the same zodiac sign or whatever, but Jim Carrey's birthday and mine are pretty close.
And I think that's why, like when I was a kid, I wouldn't say I had Jim Carrey as qualities,
but I definitely tried to emulate the guy quite a bit.
And so a lot of the humor was the same, but I wouldn't say that I've lost it along the
way.
I know that I've definitely gotten more mature in things like that, but I'm also trying to
find the funner, lighter side of life.
Like I think I've swung to the two serious point where it's like, okay, I used to have
a lot more fun even in regular normal conversations, like even the conversations I've had with
Chris, don't get me wrong.
We laugh and have a good time, but I'm not nearly as goofy or saying some of the outlandish
and I'm not trying to get back to that point, but what I'm saying is I think there's room
to be, have more fun in life.
And so my positive advice this week is it's okay to have fun in life.
Yeah, it's there are times to be serious and there are times to be whatever, but that's
not who I am.
And so that's also not who you are to be serious and uptight all of a sudden.
What's really funny and by me saying this, I just thought about this.
Chris, whenever I first met him, he was incredibly uptight and that's what he was would say is
just like, I didn't have any fun, didn't have any, but having a friendship with me started
having fun.
And what's interesting to me is I look at Chris and a lot of times he's not as uptight
as I am and he's having more and so it's almost like, you know, it's almost kind of getting
back to that, but something I'm working on too.
And just for everybody out there, it's okay to have fun and try to try to have a little
bit more of the Jim Carrey because watching the Jim Carrey Grinch is just like, yeah,
I remember being that goofy.
I remember that.
And if you're having a hard time, get you a friend who will make you have fun.
Like that's important to get people that will make you have our be like, Hey, bro, we're
going to go have fun.
It'll be a life that'll be even if you're like, I don't even know how to have fun.
What do I do?
Get a friend.
Get someone.
You can rent us our hourly rate is $1,600 for the day.
A piece.
Yeah.
If you want to fly us out, that'll work too.
Oh yeah.
Well, you wouldn't even have to pay for Mike.
It's like probably he just do it for while you might have to pay for his flight.
Let's pay for my flight.
We're not.
Listen, let's not under negotiate already.
Let's pay for my flight.
We need to contact your people.
So speaking of which, if you are listening on Spotify, go check us out on YouTube at
the donut box.
That's D O U G H and UT box podcast on YouTube.
You'll see our faces.
So yeah, check us out.
Also, I'm not sure if you know this too, Chris, but it also works.
If you still put in at the trash can network, it'll still pull up the, the new donut box
podcast channel.
So it's like you could either do the donut box pod or however you want to type that in.
And like Chris said, it's D O U G H in UT box podcast.
It's like, I don't know what else you're going to find over there.
There's like four of the people that are trying to start a donut box with the D O in UT, but
they all failed anyways.
So the I'm just kidding.
Good luck to all of them.
But go ahead and go find us over there.
Like I said, trash can network, or if you want to look at it, donut box pod, go ahead
and subscribe to us over there.
We're going, growing pretty fast.
And then over on the aviator side, it is trash can travel, which is going really well.
That thing is growing pretty fast too.
And something that's going to be interesting when I get a little bit more time, then we
might have something in the works where you'll see my face over on that side too.
And we'll be talking about it.
So little, little precursor there.
So if you're interested in that, keep an eye out for that.
But of course, Facebook and Instagram, all that good jazz trash can network, keep, keep
an eye out for us.
And so yeah, that's pretty much all I got, man.
Well, the Starship isn't going to take us out because it's not Christmas, but wham
is we're going to have an eighties Christmas, uh, take us out.
So with that, I'm signing off.
I'm Chris.
And I'm like, and this has been.
The Donut Box podcast.