Welcome to the Sunday Night Slow Jams.
Jamming all your favorite R&B hits all night long.
We have this special Valentine's Day Sunday Night Slow Jams and we got some callers who
want to shout out some old expressions.
First caller, go ahead and make your shout out.
Yeah, this is Gene.
And I want to shout out to my lady, Shanty, that trade park, and Vicky and Marcy in particular.
You know you my girls and I appreciate you.
Everything you do and the support of the All-Browhead.
Thank you, Gene.
We hope all those ladies out of the trade park are hearing that old expression.
Next caller.
And I called the other IT man but they said to call your number and here I am.
I think you're mistaken sir.
This is DJ Reddit on the Sunday Night Slow Jams kicking it back old school.
Oh, oh, D.O. I love your show.
What is your name sir?
Oh, Mr. Chan.
Mr. Chan, do you have a special person?
Do you have a special person that you want to shout out?
Give an oral expression to?
Yeah, Mi Ho Chan.
Yeah, yeah, that's shout out.
Yeah, on your show.
Thank you, Mi Ho Chan is having a wonderful Valentine's Day.
Last caller.
Hey man, this is Darrell and I just want to send my oral expression out over to my main
lady, Tracy.
And you know what, we need to go get some Mexican food again that one.
Well Darrell, we hope Tracy has heard that oral expression.
We thank all of you listeners for listening to the Sunday Night Slow Jams.
Hi, I'm Chris.
And I'm Michael.
And this is the Valentine's Day episode of the Donut Box Podcasts.
Well, buddy, I don't know how you feel about Valentine's Day.
This is not what fries my donuts, but a lot of people celebrate this day, celebrate their
holidays, so we had to do a special Valentine's Day episode as per usual.
Yeah, you got to acknowledge the holidays where we acknowledge a fat baby that shoots
arrows and things like that.
But hey, here we are.
So Valentine's Day, gotta love this episode.
I'm very curious.
I know it's predominantly an American holiday, but do a lot of other cloutries around the
world celebrate Valentine's Day or is it primarily like the U.S.?
I have no idea.
That's a very good question.
You know what?
You guys let us know.
You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, at Trash Can Network, and you can let us know.
We can go ahead and plug it at the beginning of the show now that you've said that.
Yeah, well, speaking of around the world and all the countries and stuff, we want to shout
out all of the countries that are listening.
In Africa, over there in Australia, over there in the UK, Ireland, of course, France, Russia,
Canada, for sure, over there in the Caribbean, or Caribbean if you're Jack Sparrow, I guess.
But yeah, where else do we have listening stateside?
I need to know.
Are there more people that call it Caribbean as well?
The only time I say Caribbean is when I'm saying Pirates of the Caribbean.
That's it.
Yeah, maybe it's a Disney Jack Sparrow thing.
I don't know.
Anyways, so stateside, we got folks all the way up in Massachusetts, Maine, all the way
down into the southern parts of our country, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi,
Louisiana, our home state of Texas, moving west, even into California, Oregon, and Washington,
and even in our northern states.
We've got a bunch of folks in Ohio, got a shout out Ohio, and in the middle of our country,
Iowa, man, Iowa has always been real big, so we appreciate you guys.
But yeah, all over the place, I didn't shout out Virginia, you always got to shout out.
Yes, we do.
And since Virginia is for lovers, that's a great segue to go ahead and jump into our
episode, and we're going to start off with the old fashioned donut, which is a story
from our past.
Now, since it's Valentine's Day, and we have a special Valentine's Day episode for you,
we're going to talk about a couple of, I guess, girls that had it bad for me and Micah.
Now, if you were listening last week, we both admitted that we did not have that much game
when it came to the ladies in our teenage years, but both of us kind of had some crazy
stalker situations, and I'm going to let Micah go first.
What he's saying is we had women we didn't want all over us, but the women we did want
didn't want nothing to do with us.
Anyways, pretty much this one here, how it started out, was it was a girl in my class,
and she was real nice, she was real nice, but really just wasn't my type.
And yeah, man, she was all me, man.
She wanted us to be in a relationship really, really bad to the point where every day at
school, she'd do my favorite snack and my favorite drink, and she would bring that every single
day.
Trying to win me over, I guess, and just knew every period of class that I had and would
walk with me everywhere.
I mean, it would be like texting me nonstop.
I mean, just a lot, a lot.
And I was a pretty heavy textor back then, and if I'm like, bro, you texting too much,
that's a big deal.
Yeah, you were like, I want people to text me.
I want them to text me, you know what?
But I didn't want them to text me that much.
Oh, I did not.
And it was about anything and everything.
And you know, it wasn't the meaningful text.
I don't know.
It was that text that was just like, hey, hey, how are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm sitting at my house.
What are you doing?
Oh, I just ate dinner.
That's cool.
What do you have?
And it just wasn't anything.
I don't know.
It was kind of that.
And at that point, you got to just to give some context.
I think I was 16 at the time.
Yeah, I was a sophomore.
I was 16.
And so we're going to pass that stage, right?
Especially where we were at with texting and everything like that.
At that point, you know, that was kind of middle school, like early high school, you know,
so you kind of coming out of that whole thing of just kind of just texting for nothing.
So whenever she just be texting for love, then it's just like, that's true.
We did use to like, we, we would instant message, like, be a Michael with like instant message
like, what's up?
It's like, nothing.
What are you doing?
It's like throwing a Frisbee.
Oh, that's cool.
What kind of Frisbee is it?
And then we just, you just be talking about nothing.
Like, I think you were like, it was so new at that time.
Like, and it was so like innovative, I guess that it was, you just wanted to use it.
Like you didn't care what you were talking about.
So that's part of the reason why to.
Yeah, that's kind of weird to think about.
We could go into a whole thing on that.
Cause it was a, it was a transformation.
It's pretty crazy.
But anyways, so things, things kept moving forward and I'll be honest.
I wasn't really a great guy in this situation cause I was just like, Hey, I'm getting free.
I mean, it was Micah at 16 years old and Chris, I'm going to stop right there and briefly
describe what that was like, that experience.
Yeah, go for it.
Tell, tell the, let the world in on your 16 year old mom.
My 16 year old me was like, let's get some cookies and some Dr. Pepper every single day will make her feel like she good.
But you know, is what it is, right?
And so, bro, I remember dodging some like really, really crazy stuff.
And what I mean by that is she was like, yes.
So we had this like bonus period of school.
I don't know why it was honestly because so many people in our school are failing that they had to have an extra period to like have people from the previous
semester make up classes that they failed so they didn't have to go to summer school.
And so there was like this extra period.
But if you didn't have to do that, well, you got to do kind of all these extracurricular stuff like there was like weightlifting and but it wasn't a class.
If that makes sense, like you could have weightlifting class, but this was totally different anyways.
So she was on the school newspaper, right?
And so she had like this pass to basically get out anytime.
And she was like, yeah, like I can get you one too.
And like we can go out to the parking lot to my car and all this other stuff.
And I was like, I was like, yeah, that sounds good.
But every time it came time, it was just like, no, I'm just not feeling good.
Or it's just like, no, I don't want to get in trouble or my coach has me doing something.
It was always, it was always something, right?
And I mean, she just she just really, really wanted me.
I knew it's bad, but I knew I had to end it.
And the way that I ended it was not the best of ways, but she just was not leaving me alone.
Well, her in your defense, bro, she wanted to do like some, how do I put this, some not g rated things with you.
And she was she was like kind of forcing herself on you like that.
And she was definitely doing things and sending things that were unsolicited.
So she actually was technically my first kiss.
I don't count it because wait, I thought your first kiss was that girl in the chip aisle and by.
Okay, that was the one that I always count as the first one that was later on that year.
But the technical first one was her.
I don't I don't count it though, because it was very it was a bad experience, which we're going to go into right now.
So basically what happened was one day we get out of class and we had the same last class together.
And so we're going to the parking lot to our vehicles.
And she's like, yeah, like I want you to walk me to my car.
Okay, so I had I had practice.
And so basically it's like, okay, I'm gonna go out there and then I'm gonna come back.
So I go out there and she was like, you know, like we should take this different route.
And I didn't even think about it.
I was just like, yeah, whatever, that's fine.
And so there's this area in the back of the school that was very well known for not having cameras for obvious reasons.
And so we would walk back that direction.
And I kid you not, she was just like, she just turned to me and just grabbed me and she was short too.
So and I'm a big guy.
I'm like six, three.
And I would say she was probably five foot.
And so she like turn and I mean, grab me like by the back of the neck and just like plenty one on me.
And what makes it just to this day, I don't know why, but she had banana lip gloss on.
And I remember that whole rest that night, I could not stop tasting banana lip gloss.
I just like wanted that off my lips so bad.
And so every time I like smell like that fake banana smell, it just, I don't like it, bro.
It just brings back.
Well, yeah, that's kind of crazy.
She kind of forced herself on you.
But you know, you know, at least you told her no eventually and not the bad happen.
Here's, here's how I got out of it.
I didn't quite tell her no.
She had this friend who was really fine.
Like, I mean, it was bad, but she was really fine.
And so I said, Hey, so what's the situation with your friend?
Could you put it a good word for me?
And then that day that's messed up, bro.
That's cool.
Oh, it was really bad.
16 year old me was Chris.
I was not a good person at 16.
You can back would not do is that sort of thing now.
And if you're listening and you know who you are, I'm real sorry.
You were a little clingy to hope you'd be better than that.
Now, but anyways, as bad as you said that you were at 16, at least you didn't have a kid at 15 broke the cycle, broke the family cycle.
Anyways, keep going.
That's pretty much it, man.
So she, she left me alone after that.
The only other thing that happened was, you know, I ordered a yearbook that year and literally the only picture of me in the, and this was an expansive yearbook like this.
They, most people would get a slip of here's how many pages you're on kind of thing and most people would have three to four pages that they're on.
I was on, it was my sports teams like the official pictures, you know, the hands behind the back pictures and then my school picture and those were the only pictures I had in the yearbook.
Like I didn't have any candid photos didn't have anything else.
It was literally what was necessary and that was it.
So that was her way of getting revenge, I guess.
Oh yeah, I was never in the yearbook unless it was my regular school picture.
I just avoided the group picture.
Well, yeah, that's interesting enough.
So mine, this was actually a Facebook stalk that turned into, I don't know what it turned into.
So I randomly got added by this girl named Jenny in California.
I don't know.
I don't know who she was.
I don't know how she knew me. Maybe we had some mutual friends that come and I don't know.
Let's go back.
It's weird that we keep going back to social media in this conversation, but you also have to think too at the time.
Social media again was new.
And so it was kind of interesting to have friends from all over.
And so there was, I remember there was another chick, wasn't her name like Stevie or something.
And she would like add everybody like didn't matter who it was.
If it came to like, oh, and she would just add everybody had no clue who she was.
But I don't know. She just wanted to add everybody.
Anyways, continue.
I think it was kind of one of those situations.
Yeah, I guess I don't know.
So Jenny like messages me on Facebook, like, I mean straight out the gate, like, hey, you're cute.
And I was just like, okay, cool.
But like the thing about like her, like her profile was like so limited and like it didn't have that many pictures.
So like, I didn't really know like what she looked like or who she was.
And again, like you're 15 years old.
That's all you care about is what people look like.
But bro, like, like, so, you know, I don't know somehow we exchange numbers.
Like we texted a little bit back and forth, but she was kind of the same way.
Like just like just straight forward with it, everything.
Like it got to the point where like she was like posting on posting on my wall.
And I was just like, bro, like you got to chill out.
And like it got to the point where like people at church saw a couple of people in the youth group and they were like, hey, bro, like what's up with what's up with that girl Jenny posting on your Facebook.
And I literally said it.
We said this forever.
It's like, man, that girl been giving me hash all week, man.
She would give me hash all week.
And we said that for like the longest time I said, I don't know what is up with Jenny.
You know, we also got it.
I don't want to steal the thunder.
Were you about to talk about the voicemail she was leaving?
Oh yeah.
So she left me.
She would leave me like boys.
If I didn't pick up, I remember this one and it went, it goes like this.
Like it just started off.
It was kind of awkward and she just left the voice phone.
She was like, hey, buddy, how's it going?
I hope you're doing good.
And then like, I don't remember what the rest of the message was, but I just remember that.
Hey, buddy.
I was just like, what?
Who is this person, man?
Like who is this person?
Well, you're also leaving me like voicemails.
It started off with, hey, yeah, it was like two minutes long of a voicemail and she was
like talking to you as if you were almost there.
Like that's, that's what I remember because you would show and it wasn't just the one
like there was multiple and it always started off with, hey, buddy.
And that real like, yeah, it was, it was real weird because, hey, buddy.
So I went to the mall today and I was in GameStop.
I was in GameStop.
I was in GameStop and thought about you because you said something about your Nintendo and
like she just kept on talking.
Yeah.
So I did think it was like, even at like 15, it was like hard for us to like even talk
because like I lived on the East coast and she lived on the West coast.
So it was like three hours apart.
So like by the time like I'm out of school, she's still in school.
And by the time she gets out of school, like it's getting close to dinner time and time
for bed and all that stuff.
And like, I don't know, bro.
It was weird.
She was like, she wasn't, she wasn't on the level of Micah's stalker.
Like, I mean, it was good that we, it was like, bro, if she was there in person, if she
was there in person, she would have been that way.
Oh yeah.
She would have came by my house, bro.
She probably would have for sure, for sure.
But yeah, it's wild, man.
It's wild for sure.
You got to love it being 15.
And at that age, you're just looking for attention.
You're just looking for anybody that'll like you.
Like you said, the ones that you try to shoot your shot with, like they're not interested.
And then the ones that try to shoot your shot with you, like the two of them that do, like
you're not interested in them.
So it's, I don't know.
It's always weird.
I know we've, I know we've gone over.
I got to tell you about one more, one more girl.
This was great.
This was middle school, bro.
Middle school, there was this gal and again, she liked me.
I did not like her at all.
She was, I hate to be so mean, but she was trailer trash, like straight up, like she was, it was just nasty.
Like if you remember Edna and Eddie and the canker sister, she was like the middle sister.
Like that's, that's who she was like.
Anyways, so she really was into me and all this other stuff.
And I'm not going to say how I downed her, but there was a little school project and yeah, anyways, we're not going to talk about how I insulted her.
But anyways, she very quickly flipped on like, oh, I don't like you and no more, but it's quickly turned into, oh yeah, I like you to then, oh yeah, my daddy's in jail and he's going to get out of jail and kick your behind and all this other stuff.
And I was just like, I wish your dad would and then like a few days later, she brought in this letter, like this handwritten letter.
It's like anybody mess with my baby girl's going to get it when I get out and all this other stuff.
And I'm like, yeah, then they'll put them right back in where he belongs.
And then she got real mad.
So that's how that would ended.
Gotta love your unfiltered self at that age.
Oh my God.
I just let, I let whatever fly.
Poor people.
I would like to apologize to whoever had to catch that raffin.
Yeah, mostly me. No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Why the heck do you stick around then?
I know we're still friends to this day.
So, but yeah, man, I'm ready to jump into the next segment.
The next segment is not the jelly donut.
It's Taiyo Shoes because you trippin.
These are stories about people specifically, not really on Valentine's Day, but these are about people that were cheating in their, in their relationship and they got found out.
So, Taiyo Shoes because you trippin.
Let's see what happens.
What's the story?
This first one, this guy created a fake Facebook profile, which apparently now that's like a, like to have multiple Instagram accounts.
Like, I guess that's the thing now.
But this guy created a fake Facebook profile and contacted other women.
Eventually, however, his girlfriend got wind of his fake profile because it was on the people you may know.
And it was recommended to her by Facebook itself.
When she saw his profile picture on the fake account and looked at his profile, she knew exactly what he'd been up to and the women that he was cheating with.
So, Taiyo Shoes because you trippin.
Man, that's terrible.
You see, that's why you can't be doing that stuff.
You're gonna get find out.
Wow.
All right, next one.
So, this one person said that five hours after she broke up with her boyfriend, she said that her ex-boyfriend, I guess, updated his Facebook status to
Engage.
She thought he was just friends with this girl that he was engaged to.
Turns out it was much more.
The girl posted a photo of the ring and said, he finally asked and I said yes.
So, apparently they have been dating behind her back and then as soon as they broke up, that guy was like, well, I might as well get engaged now.
Dang.
That's cold.
That's cold blooded.
Cold blooded, man.
Cold blooded.
Taiyo Shoes.
She trippin.
All right, this next one.
Oh, it's about a military.
It's about a military veteran.
What?
Are you serious?
Are you saying, Christopher, wait a second.
Are you saying members of our military, our armed forces, could possibly be having some extramarital affairs while overseas or abroad for our country?
No, they could not be having, because they are the heroes of this country.
Okay, actually, it wasn't this guy.
It was actually his wife was cheating.
Okay, so.
Well, I feel bad for making that comment.
Yeah.
Okay.
Don't laugh.
This isn't funny, but it kind of is.
A military veteran had to have surgery on his testicles due to a possible tumor.
Hold on.
Sorry, I took a drink at the wrong time.
Go ahead.
Due to a possible tumor, he had to have surgery and his girlfriend came to visit him to make him dinner.
So, the guy couldn't find his phone, so his girlfriend gave him hers.
While he's looking at the, while he's looking at chicken cordon blue recipes on the phone, an inappropriate picture from his friend, Ryan, comes up on a text.
While looking through the text conversations, he found out that Ryan and his girlfriend called his, his deployment a quote unquote, sexcation.
He kicked her out while still, while he was still in pain recovering from the surgery, and he wished that he had made cordon chicken cordon blue first.
So, yeah, apparently his girlfriend was cheating while he was on deployment.
Sad, but you know, that's kind of typical.
And he found this out while he was having surgery on his test.
Recovering from surgery on his testicles.
Not during the surgery.
All I'm saying is this, it's apparent he was recovering from testicle surgery, looking at chicken cordon blue recipes.
But anyways, go ahead.
Tie your shoes, because you tripping.
Yep.
Tie your shoes, because you tripping.
All right.
So apparently, this guy came home after working a double shift.
And he saw that the toilet seat was up in his bathroom.
He figured that, hey, I guess my wife hasn't used the bathroom in 20 hours or something else was going on.
In this case, the latter was true.
He found out that she had been cheating on him soon after and got divorced.
So he came.
So I guess this guy was a nurse or whatever worked in the medical field had been working for 20 hours, came home and was like, oh, yeah.
The toilet seat is still left up from when I left it 20 hours ago and was like, oh, I guess my wife didn't pee today.
But his wife was at home.
So I guess he found out that she was cheating through that.
Another toilet seat paper that's come to a close.
But that's unfortunate.
That's real unfortunate.
Really unfortunate.
Okay, three more.
And these are very short.
Okay.
A woman received a letter from a college she had never attended.
Inside she found a printed copy of her husband's entire text history with his lover.
She figured the sender was a scoring lover or another husband.
At the time, the woman was seven months pregnant.
So she got a letter in the mail saying it was from a college and maybe maybe the person worked for the college.
Maybe that's what it was.
Maybe so trying to send messages.
That's what it was.
See, listen, that's why you can't do that.
Can't do that stuff and always going to come back.
This lady, this engaged woman, she was looking for directions to this place.
And so she decided to get more accurate directions by going through Google Street View.
She saw something that looked shocking.
Her boyfriend was looking rather intimate with another woman.
She confronted him with the picture and he confessed.
Of course, they broke off the engagement.
I guess this guy was in the middle of cheating when Google came by to take the pictures.
And this woman just so happened to be looking up directions and look on Google Street View.
And there it is, her boyfriend with another woman.
Man, what are the chances?
My thing is, listen, God wanted you to get caught.
If she found you on that day on Google Street View.
Yep, last one.
Okay, this guy went to his girlfriend's house to surprise her.
He walked in on her asleep in bed with another man.
He calmly went to her side of the bed, gently woke her up and asked if she wanted some pancakes.
She didn't understand what was going on and said, yeah, sure, I want some pancakes.
Then the boyfriend says, what about this guy?
Does he want pancakes too?
And then he left and I guess they broke up.
So, and then this last one, after coming back from a grocery one,
let me restart, after coming back from a grocery run,
a woman found her boyfriend being intimate with one of his coworkers.
They were being intimate in this lady's apartment and in her bed.
In pure rage, she dumped an entire gallon of milk on them,
threw a package of hot dogs at the woman and clocked her in the head.
She threw a loaf of bread at his crotch and then threw them out of the house,
half naked in the sun.
Oh, this lady was a black lady.
I can tell you, bro, because black women, they don't put up with no cheating.
Like if they find you cheating, you're going to get, she's going to dump the eggs on you, the pancakes, like pancake mix.
She's like, oh, you want to be cheating?
Don't be dumping clothes into the street from the top floor, like letting it all out in the wind, throwing pictures out.
I love them, man, because they don't put up with nothing.
They'll tell you like it is.
If they don't like you, they'll tell you like it is.
But that's crazy, man. I can't believe that she dumped the eggs, dumped through the loaf of bread at him.
Everything.
Well, her dude needs to tie his shoes because he's tripping doing what he was doing.
He's tripping, man.
Well, we are going to move into the donut hole.
And I got a quiz for you today, man.
Gotta love quizzes.
What are we doing?
It is a quiz about Valentine's Day trivia.
So different questions about Valentine's Day history, origin, traditions, all that good stuff.
We'll see if you can get it right.
All right, sounds good.
All right, number one, about how many roses are sent on Valentine's Day each year?
A, 20 million, B, 30 million, C, 50 million, or D, 60 million?
I'm going to say 60 million.
I think it's going to be the highest number.
It's actually 50 million, man.
You were just a little high.
So close by 10 million.
But yeah, I know it's going to be a lot, man.
Everybody likes to.
Well, I wouldn't say everybody, but a lot of people order roses.
Number two, what popular website debuted on Valentine's Day in 2005?
A, Godaddy.com, B, YouTube, C, eBay, or D, Amazon?
And you said it was what year?
2005 of Valentine's Day.
Oh, I know Amazon was already in existence.
What were the other options?
You said YouTube and what else?
Godaddy.com and eBay.
I'm going to go with YouTube.
Yes, sir.
It is YouTube 2005.
All right.
Next one.
On average, how many marriage proposals are on Valentine's Day?
200 and 20,000, 500,000, 340,000, or 450,000.
450,000.
Let's go 450.
It's actually 220,000.
220,000.
So actually not that many.
I mean, that's really not that many thinking about it.
I feel like if you do a marriage proposal on Valentine's Day,
do you feel like that kind of cheapens the marriage proposal?
Do you feel like that?
I mean, I think it's pretty dang cliche, but I mean, some people are in on it.
You know what I mean?
It's kind of that same thing as if you propose at a sporting event with like 30,000 people,
I mean, that puts the pressure on the other person to say yes, right?
So does that kind of cheapen it too?
Or if you propose on Christmas, again, I'm not a woman, so I don't know.
I don't know how they, I guess it depends on.
It depends on the person, I'm sure.
If Christmas is like your favorite holiday and it's like that'll be my best Christmas present ever, I guess.
All right.
In Roman mythology, Cupid is the son of whom?
A. Zeus.
B. Hermes.
C. Venus.
Or Deepa Sight.
I'm gonna say Venus.
Yeah, it's Venus.
It is Venus.
I'm your Venus.
I don't know.
I'm your father.
Listen, we ain't talking about no razor commercial.
All right, I'm just saying, I have no clue how I knew that.
All I know is Venus, something, something, God is a love.
There you go.
All right, which state produces the most red roses in America?
A. Utah, B. Minnesota, C. Florida, or D. California?
It's between Utah and California.
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say California.
Yeah, it's California.
You thought it was Utah because all the Mormons up there have to get all the flowers from the lady's son,
but it is California.
I thought about it because of the Rose Bowl.
I was like, you know what?
What notorious gangster orchestrated the St. Valentine's Day massacre?
A. George Babyface Nelson.
B. Alcapone.
C. Bonnie and Clyde.
Or D. Don Corleone.
Don Corleone.
That's the best answer ever.
I don't think it was Bonnie and Clyde.
It wasn't.
Who's the middle one?
I'll say Alcapone.
It is Alcapone.
He did.
All right.
What major invention was pat-patotin?
Let me start that one over.
What major invention was patented on Valentine's Day?
A. The cotton gin.
B. The light bulb.
C. The telephone.
Or D. The telegraph.
I'm gonna take a wild stab.
Let's do telegraph.
Oh, it's actually the telephone.
Telephone.
Oh, grand bail.
Look at it.
Yep.
He did it.
William Shakespeare mentions Valentine's Day in which of his plays?
A. Romeo and Juliet.
B. Hamlet.
C. Othello.
Or D. Julius Caesar.
I feel like the obvious answer is Romeo and Juliet, but I don't think it was.
Wait, wait, wait.
Didn't they say, didn't they say something about it?
Julius Caesar?
Oh, no, no, no.
That's the Ives of Marv.
Is that your final answer?
Yeah, I'll go Julius Caesar.
No, no, no.
I'll go Romeo and Juliet.
Well, which is it?
Romeo and Juliet.
Dang it.
Okay.
It's actually Hamlet.
He's the one of those.
So it was neither one.
Well, it shows how much I like Shakespeare.
All right.
Two more questions.
Who invented the first Valentine's Day candy balls?
A. Milton Hershey.
B. Richard Cadbury.
C. Willy Wonka.
Or D. Henry Ford.
We're going to do old Hershey.
It's actually Cadbury.
Oh, Cadbury, huh?
Yeah.
Cadbury is.
They all under one roof.
They all under one roof now.
Yeah, they are.
All right.
Sweethearts, the ones with the writing on them.
The Sweethearts production was temporarily suspended in which year?
1998, 2009, 2014, or 2019?
I'm going to go 99.
It's actually 2019, and they stopped production.
I really don't make them no more.
See, it shows how much I know.
No, no, no, no.
They still make them.
Just for that one year.
They just temporarily suspended it.
Was it for COVID?
I don't know.
I didn't say.
I don't really like them.
I'll be honest with you.
Yeah.
I guess the tradition.
The writing and the nostalgia.
For sure.
Well, man, that was our donut hole.
And speaking of Valentine's Day, I don't know what fries your donuts in Valentine's Day related,
but what fries your donuts this week?
Nah, it's not Valentine's Day related, but it kind of is.
Man, you don't really fries my donuts.
The checkout experience at stores.
I don't know if you've noticed this, man.
It's become more cumbersome over the years.
It used to be you were able to walk in a store, pay, and leave.
The next thing you know, they're like, okay, we'll join our little club or join our rewards.
Give us your little email, whatnot.
Bro, you can't leave a store now with just checking out.
Have you noticed that?
Sometimes the checkout is the longest bit.
I was in the store the other day and I had one item I needed to go get.
And this store did not have self-checkout.
Normally I'll do self-checkout if anything, but no.
So it was actually a hardware store.
Got one thing, go up to the checkout.
They're just like, yes, so do you have a rewards card with us?
And I was just like, no.
They're like, would you have a credit card with us?
I was like, no.
They're like, would you like to sign up?
And they asked if I wanted to sign up for both, right?
It's like, no.
And it's like, are you sure it just takes a few minutes?
I'm like, no.
And then they're like, OK, well, here you go, go ahead and pay.
And I don't know about you, but chip readers, we need to get this stuff into control.
There is not a universal chip reader out there.
I don't know.
Each one of those little machines works different.
And I work in IT and that stuff drives me nuts.
Nobody knows how to operate them.
And so what'll happen is you'll insert the chip and then it'll be like reinsert.
You'll reinsert it again.
And you have all these problems.
And the guy behind there is all getting huffy.
And you're like, listen, man, it's the day machine.
And then it's like, OK, try to swipe it when clearly the machine is telling you to insert the chip.
And I'm like, I don't think it's to the swipe step yet.
I don't know, bro.
It's like, just take my money so I can get my goods and services and leave.
This has all become way too much of a process.
Yeah.
I agree with you on that.
And to be honest, there are so many people.
And again, it's a lot of older people that do not like self-checkout.
Me personally, I like self-checkout.
I mean, I don't mind because I feel like I can get it done faster myself.
I don't have to wait that long, you know, like I just, I don't know.
I like doing self-checkout, but there's a lot of people that don't.
And again, I don't have to get asked with all the million questions.
Like, do you want to receive or are you part of the rewards club?
Everybody has a rewards club now.
And it's like everybody.
I just want to pay for my stuff and go.
Or do you want to sign up for our credit card?
I'm like, no, no thank you.
And that's the thing.
Everybody's got a credit card too.
And it's just like, I don't want to sign up for your credit card.
You know, I mean, heck, we were in big lots and they like, hey, you want to sign up for the big lots credit card?
It's like, no, I do not want to sign up for the big lots credit card.
Who goes to big lots, bro?
I mean, not going to lie, bro.
There are some fire things in there.
I go to big lots.
I mean, they got some pretty decent stuff in there.
It's like, I don't know, like at least the one that's around the corner, it's kind of like, this makes me sound some type of way.
So if you all are going to judge, you all are going to judge.
It's like a nicer dollar store.
Like think about the dollar store, but like a little bit higher stuff.
And then sometimes they got stuff that like got shipped to them from other stores.
So they actually got some decent stuff in there sometimes like name brand stuff.
I love Dollar Tree, bro.
I'll be the first to admit like you go in Dollar Tree and you're like, I forget.
Do you guys, you can get some good stuff in Dollar Tree.
You look like, man, I forgot Dollar Tree got this.
Oh yeah.
It's pretty crazy.
It's great.
Everything ain't a dollar anymore.
It ranges up to five now, but it's still a good deal.
Yes, it is.
Yeah, man.
It just, you know what?
Actually, that is one place that I have been to and I, you know, Dollar Tree, have they asked about rewards or their credit card there?
No, they just have you pay out and you leave.
That's great.
They don't have no extra.
Maybe it's because the cash registers are still from the 90s, but you know why?
Because they can't be having time to ask all those questions.
You know why?
Because they got an unstocked of five million carts that they have and all the boxes they have in the aisles.
They ain't got time to be asking all those questions and you know they only got two registers open and only one person worked in the whole store.
Exactly.
That's what I was going to say.
It's like, it seems like every day I go in there, a truck just dropped and there's only one person running the whole thing.
So, you know, it is what it is.
There's been some times I've been through some tight aisles at the Dollar Tree, but anyways.
So yeah, man, those were the fries and my donuts.
I wish that, you know, more places would just let me pay out and go to where it's not so big of a deal.
It is getting a little bit better.
I don't know if you got a newer card.
I had some issues with one of my card because of fraud, but they gave me a new tap card and that makes it kind of nice because the machines that use tap, all you got to do is just kind of wave it and it works.
So you don't have to do chip, but I don't know, man.
The whole process is annoying, too cumbersome.
Yeah, I agree with you, man.
Anyways, man, we can move on to our next segment, which is our improv segment, which is the Mr. Donut.
So, Chris, what do we have today?
Oh, well, we have a special treat for you.
We have two preachers on Valentine's Day speed dating, not speed dating each other, but speed dating.
Does everybody know what speed dating is?
Is speed dating even a thing anymore?
Okay, I guess we need to explain what speed dating is.
Back in the olden days when dinosaurs roamed the earth and there was no life.
Before eHarmony and match.com.
Yeah, before Bumble, before Tinder, before any of that.
People would go to these events and they would be called speed dating.
So one person, like, it would be like girls would sit on one side of the table and then guys would, like, come in.
And they would, you would only get, like, three minutes to, like, I guess, get information from each other just real quick.
It was, like, two, three minutes to talk, find out about each other.
Then the bell would ring and then you would have to move to the next table.
And then, I guess, at the end, if you really like someone, I guess you could go back and get their contact information and make a date out of it.
So, uh...
There you go. Speed dating.
Speed dating.
Alright, man, so we got two preachers speed dating. You want to start it?
Old sister, I'm so glad God brought me here today.
It says there's a reason for the season.
And that season and that reason is Jesus and I believe that he brought me here today.
So baby, can I get your phone?
Because Pastor Johnson needs a wife.
Brother Dardell looks at you and says, your name is Tammy.
Well, I look at you and say, your name is baby.
Because you should be mine.
Oh, Lord, I look at you and I say, you so divine that you should be mine.
And Lord, I tell you what, I go to Saga Solomon and I go say what I can say on here.
Because, you know what, it's a family program.
And Saga Solomon is the furthest thing from a family program, but I'm a family man.
And I can do what you need me to do and be the man in Saga Solomon and have all the wives and concubines.
I mean, I'm sorry, you be the one and only for brother, for me.
Oh, how you do it, something.
Brother Johnson read in Proverbs this morning that he that find a wife, find is a good thing.
And baby, will you be my good thing?
Because I'm looking at your face and I'm hearing what you say.
And I know that you like to knit and I know that you like kitty cats and brother Johnson can compromise.
Because I can't deal with kitty cats because they make the sneakers.
They make my eyes wide.
They make the itch.
But for you, girl, pass the Johnson and put that aside and we can go to the.
Oh, girl, look at you.
You look so nice today in that dress.
I tell you something.
I was at the flea market this weekend and I saw something real similar to that.
And you know what happened?
It was reminding to me that God is the lamp into our feet and the light into our path.
And you know what?
He put you the light into my path.
That's why you wear that yellow dress.
It's because you are the light.
You are my light.
And I would be more than happy if you came over to one, two, three Wippo streets past nine p.m.
Don't call.
Don't text.
Come by the keys under the mat.
Oh, yes, brother.
Don't know.
I can't help but hear your conversation because there are some doors that I can hold it open.
Then no man can shut up and he'll give you the keys.
And just like he gave me the keys to the kingdom and the keys to the church, I'm going to give you the keys to my apartment.
I'm going to give you my keys to the escalator, not the jack wall because I can't put you on insurance.
Because I just paid off the premium and I ain't trying to pay another dollar until I get that check coming from the give me building fund.
Can I get an A-B?
A-B, you look like the last one that come around.
Well, I tell you something.
The rest of these don't matter.
I tell you this much.
When it comes to me, it's the Lord first and family second and Lord, I'd love to make you second.
And you know what I'll have?
I'll have seconds of you, but I'll tell you something.
If you're going to let me be, I'm going to be worldly for a second.
I'm going to quote T.I. and I'm going to say, girl, you could have whatever you like.
You could have whatever you like.
I'm going to repeat multiple times just like you said in the song.
You know what, brother?
I think it's time to pray.
It's time to pray over all these ladies and to give the divine intervention to show who's supposed to be the apple of our eye and not supposed to be the pearls before swine.
Can I get an A-B?
Let's do a prayer.
I'm here today just like you gave Isaac.
We ask that you put with problems 31 and I like that you bring us some roofs.
That you bring us some estus.
That you bring us some serials and that you bring us some merries.
Lord and for the Delilahs and the Jezebel's that want to be knocking at our door.
We'll leave the porch slide on for them, but we ain't going to open the front door.
They're going to have to come in through the side door.
So, Lord, we ask that you bring that problems 31 woman and we believe that you said that if you asked, you shall head.
You said to light yourself in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart.
And I feel like my desire is number 32.
With the polka dot dress, can I get an A-B?
And if you're listening, Lord, I just want to double up on what was said.
But you know what? I'll say this too. I want a Lord.
A Lord, I think the blessing should be two and three fold.
I want number 35 and number two and number 15 and number 12.
If you could give me all that Lord, I won't ask anything else the rest of the week.
You know what? Scratch that with the rest of the day.
I will ask nothing the rest of the day, the rest of the night, the rest of the hour.
What's going to happen at Lord? We just thank you.
We thank you for the hope and hope, sweetie, that you have brought around to this hotel for the speed dating process on this Valentine's Day.
And we just come before you.
Guys, people see. A-A-A.
Oh, man. Good stuff.
Again, I always feel like I have to purpose this with, this is a comedic bit.
It does not represent the views of trash can network or its affiliates.
Uh, yeah. I feel like I got to say that, man. I feel like I got to say that.
Yeah. In this day and age, a joke can't just be a joke.
But anyways, um, so yeah, so I guess that means it's time for our E-Claire.
Unfortunately, the last one out of the box, but hey, it's our positive advice.
So Chris, what do you want to impart with people?
Uh, or in part two people on the way out?
Yeah, we've talked about it before, but sometimes, man, you just need to take a break.
Uh, and just kind of step away from the situation for a little bit, man.
Today, I'm not going to lie, man. You're like, oh, yeah, you work for a church.
There's no way you could get frustrated.
Man, I'm not going to lie to you today. I was getting a little frustrated, not with people.
I think I would, I think I was just tired. I think I was hungry.
I think I was just like, you know what, man?
Like I've been here a lot this week. I've been working hard. I've been working long hours.
I just need to kind of like take a little break.
Like I just need to step away from this work and to step away from this place for a little bit.
Uh, I need to go like clear my mind and, uh, go get something to eat.
Like I took a little bit longer lunch break and that's okay because like I've been,
I've been working like 50 hours this week.
So it was like, okay for me to take an extra bit of time on my lunch break.
So I was like, I'm going to take a little bit of time.
I'm just going to get my mind bright and then I'm going to come back.
And I found when I did that, like I came back in a better mood, like I was ready and motivated again,
but sometimes you just need to find those places where if you're getting like frustrated and kind of burned out,
just take a little break, step away from the situation and then come back to it.
Yeah, absolutely man. You know, it's interesting.
We don't talk about this beforehand, but mine is very, very similar.
And mine is if you don't understand what's going on or understand the next steps of a situation,
um, you know, give it some time, give it some time.
I was faced this past week with some pretty life altering information.
Right. And at first it's a really big shock.
And when you're in that moment of shock, it's like you go through every emotion.
You go through sad anger, happiness, you know, bright side, bad side, kind of everything, right?
But one of the things that's very common is you can't see heads from tails.
You can't, you don't know what's going to happen next, right?
Everything just, all your plans just kind of got turned up on its head.
And, you know, when that day and that time happened, the rest of that day was a very bad time.
But you know, what a difference a day makes.
Yeah, it's a song, but what a difference a day makes 24 hours, right? 24 hours.
I don't know, man. The next day it was like there was a lot more clarity.
It was like everything was a lot calmer. It's like, okay, that's the situation.
The situation is sunk in and you start making plans moving forward.
But yeah, if it's one of those things where it's a very tumultuous or highly volatile situation
and you don't know the plan forward, it's all good. Just give it a little bit of time, right?
And everything should present itself to you.
Yeah, man. Good stuff. Good stuff.
Do you want to tell them where to find us and all that good stuff?
Oh, yeah, man. At the Trashcan Network.
Yeah, Trashcan Network on Insta, Facebook.
Man, we've been thinking about doing X. What do you think about X, Chris?
I don't know, man. X is like a dangerous place.
Normally Twitter.
I feel like it's a wild, wild west, man. Like you're just waiting to get shot.
Yeah, yeah. X is really, really interesting.
But I'll tell you this much. We've been doing a lot of interesting things over on YouTube.
And so go check that out as well. Subscribe to us over there.
And you know, talk to us. We'd love to hear feedback and all that good jazz.
But yeah, anywhere you want to find us, Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, wherever you're listening, we really appreciate it.
But yeah, at Trashcan Network, really, again, really, really appreciate it.
So, yeah, man, I think it's time to take this donut box out to the trash.
Yes, but before we do that, this is my public service announcement.
Fellas, please do not wait till the last minute to go get your women Valentine's Day gifts or flowers.
I mean, you can do that. But if you wait till the last minute, it just shows no effort or no thought.
Actually put some thought into it.
If you're going to do it, if you're going to celebrate it, great.
Me and my wife, we don't celebrate it just because like we try to celebrate each other all year round.
But please, please, please, please make sure you don't wait the last minute because you will pay an arm and a leg.
And your girlfriend or wife will think that you did not think about her.
Also, another public service announcement.
If you're a lady, unless you know her a lot better than this, but if your lady says, hey, you don't have to get me anything or don't get me anything too big, please, you have to get her something.
Don't think that that's a free like, oh yeah, I don't have to get her nothing.
Nope. That's not what that means. Just apply.
No, it does not mean. No, it does not.
Well, it is time for us to sign off. I'm Chris.
And I'm Micah.
And this is the Donut Box Podcast.