Hi, I'm Micah.
And I'm Chris.
And this is the Donut Box Podcast.
["The Cranic and the Cranic"]
Well guys, welcome to the pilot episode remastered.
We wanted to re-release our first episode.
Not that our first episode was bad,
but gaining a lot of experience in the two and a half years,
you know, you learn a lot of things.
And so we wanted to do the remastered version of it.
It's going to be pretty much the same,
but just with a little bit of twist.
But before we do that, I think we
should give our newcomers a little bit of backstory
and history about who we are, the Donut Box Podcast,
and what that even all means.
Yeah, so let's first talk about our friendship
and where we started.
So Chris and I have been friends since about eight years
old, the wonderful time of 2003, shout out to the early 2000s
kids.
We had a great time.
Anyways, so we actually met at church.
And we became friends pretty quickly.
Took a minute, but you'll hear about that story a little later
on.
We actually didn't like each other at first,
but became really good friends.
And you know, I've had a whole bunch of wacky antics since.
Yeah, so the reason why this is called the Donut Box
Podcast is it's actually kind of a spin off of a TV web series,
or I guess that we used to do.
And I can't say the name of it, so we don't get sued.
But we basically wanted each segment
to be a different donut out of the box.
And we wanted it to be a variety show.
So we wanted it to be from everything from sports
to stories to history to quizzes.
You name it.
And so each segment is a different donut.
And each donut is a different topic
that we talk about all throughout.
So we are welcoming you guys to the pilot episode,
Rhymaster.
Are you ready to jump into our first segment, Micah?
Yeah, let's do it.
Our first segment is the Old Fashioned Donut,
which is a story from our past.
Now, you have heard that Micah and I became friends.
And we hung out a lot.
We've been friends for going on 20 years now.
And it's crazy to think about that.
So when we got to be, I think it was 12 or 13,
that was kind of the age where my mom started giving me
a little bit more freedom.
And Micah had just seen this new cool, interesting movie
with his parents, his parental units.
And he was like, hey, man, you should definitely go see it.
I want us to go see it together.
I really liked it.
It was a new Will Smith movie coming out.
Do you want to jump in here?
Yeah, I am legend.
If you haven't seen it, it's actually a very, very good movie.
Love the movie.
And especially at the time, so kind of going back,
meeting in church, we were, I wouldn't say sheltered.
Chris was more sheltered than I was.
I would say shout out to his mom who's probably listening.
Number one fan.
We love you out there.
His parental units were a little bit more strict than mine
were.
So I really wanted to go see I Am Legend come out,
saw all the ads on TV and whatnot.
It was already PG-13.
I was 12.
I think I just, I don't remember.
I think I was about 12.
So went and saw it.
And of course, talking to my friend was like, yeah,
we got to go see it.
But I already knew from the onset,
it wasn't going to happen.
We were going to have to pull some strings or something.
Because when I say that Chris's parents were strict,
I mean, they wouldn't even let him watch some things
on Disney channel like that.
So Raven, because she could see the future and things
like that.
You know, do you want to expand on that at all, Chris?
Yeah.
Again, I wasn't sheltered, but they were a little bit more
selective about what I watched.
And I know it's hard to imagine in 2024,
but around that time, there was a day
where some movies didn't have any cuss words at all.
I mean, I'm talking about like no D word, no H word,
not even the A word, none of that.
And so my parents didn't like me watching movies
with curse words in them.
And so we usually tried to refrain
from movies that had curse words in them.
I know it's wild to think because now even kids movies
have curse words in them.
But my parents didn't really want me to watch movies like that
or to watch any kind of scary movies.
Definitely Zombies was kind of out of the picture for sure.
And I knew that my parents would just absolutely say no
if I asked.
And they were the type of parents, like they
had to go and watch it first.
And so I knew when I went and asked my mom, I said, hey, mom.
I was like, can I go see I Am Legend?
And she was like, well, what's it rated?
And I was like PG-13.
And she was like, well, you know that if it's any PG-13 rated
movie, me and your dad have to go screen it first.
So I can't let you go watch it until me and your dad have seen it.
And so Michael was like, hey, I want to go see this.
I think he even said, hey, I think it was maybe around
Christmas break.
I don't remember what it was at all.
But I just remember you being like, hey,
let's go see the movie.
And again, Micah now is not really a big movie person.
And even back then, he wasn't a really big let's go to the movies
kind of person.
So for Micah to want to go to the movies, I was like, yeah,
it must be good if my buddy wants to go to the movies.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'll tell you this much after watching the first time,
big fan.
So had to take my boy.
And we had to devise a plan.
Because of course, when he came back to me and said, yeah,
it's not going to happen, my mom said no.
Chris, I was a bad influence.
I'm going to tell everybody right now, the whole world,
I was the bad influence friend.
Because what happened was we were very smart, both of us.
But I feel like I would come up with some initial bits.
And then Chris would come up with some parts of the plans.
And so I don't know.
I warped his mind.
Poor guy.
Just kidding.
He's funny.
I'll tell you what happened.
I got the idea because I had heard my uncles and my dad,
they were talking about stories.
And they were talking about how they used to go watch movies.
And they would just stay all day at movie theater hop.
Nowadays, you can't do that because most movie theaters
have reserved seats.
But back in the day, you could just buy a movie ticket.
And it didn't matter where you sat.
And so they would say that they would spend their whole Saturday
just hopping around.
Like they would buy a ticket for one movie.
And then they would just spend the whole day hopping around
to different theaters.
So they would get to see like six or seven movies
for the price of one ticket.
And it was impossible for them to get caught
because they would just hop around before anyone could catch them.
And so I got part of my hair brain scheme.
And I think Micah came up with this too.
We said, how about we tell your mom
that you're going to go see this one movie that's rated G.
But really, what we're going to do
is we're going to buy the ticket for that.
So we have the ticket stuff.
But we have the proof that you went to go see this G rated movie.
But when we get in there, we're just
going to go sneak and see the other movie.
And the other best part of the plan
is we had looked online.
And we had seen how long the other movie was going to be.
Because I believe your mom was taking your brother.
And we had convinced her, yeah, we don't want to see.
I believe it was National Treasure 2.
Wasn't that the movie that we were going to go see?
Yes, it was National Treasure 2.
And they were going to go see National Treasure 2.
And we said, yeah, we're not going to go watch National Treasure 2.
So she said, OK, what movie are you going to go see?
And we said, OK, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
And we had planned it because I think Alvin and the Chipmunks
ran 30 minutes longer and started before National Treasure 2.
So it looked like, OK, they went into their movie.
And then once Chris's mom and brother
got out of National Treasure 2, it's like, OK, well,
that movie's still going.
But we had figured out as well, I Am Legend started
after National Treasure started.
It was only like 10 minutes after.
It wasn't that.
No, it wasn't that long after.
So pretty much what we did was we sat there.
And we waited in Alvin and the Chipmunks.
We actually went to Alvin and the Chipmunks,
watched the first 10 minutes or 10 or 15 minutes.
And then once we knew, the other movie had started.
Because like Chris said, in the days before selected seating,
there was only this little person at a podium attendant
that gets you to the hallway of movie theaters.
Once you get past that person, they
don't know if you're going to the bathroom or whatever.
I remember it was, I Am Legend was all the way
at the end of the hallway to the left.
And that's where it was.
And we walked all the way down there,
got there right as it started.
And it finished.
And Alvin and the Chipmunks still had time.
So did National Treasure.
So we booked it back over there.
And we actually made it back on time
to make the last little bit of Alvin and the Chipmunks.
So that way, when my mom asked, how was the movie?
We basically just told her in the beginning of the movie.
And the end of the movie.
I'm like, yeah, it was crazy how it ended.
And didn't even see the middle part at all.
And what was crazy, like you were talking about that hallway.
I remember you said, I Am Legend was to the left.
To the left.
On the end of the hallway to the left.
Yeah, it was to the left.
Alvin and the Chipmunks was to the right.
So it was in the way opposite direction.
And National Treasure 2 was on the same hall
as Alvin and the Chipmunks.
It was just like two or three theaters down.
So we actually got out of the Alvin and the Chipmunks right
at the same time as my mom and my brother did.
So we got in the car.
And my mom was just like, hey, how did it go?
And we were just like, yeah, this, this, and this.
Now I will say, watching I Am Legend,
it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
There were a couple of jump scare parts.
But honestly, there was like, I mean,
I think they said maybe three cuss words.
And they said it all in one, like one go at one time.
And I remember just sitting, and they weren't even
that bad of cuss words.
I think it was like the D word or the A word or whatever.
I remember just sitting there like, well, at least
I got them all out of the way at one point.
So I was like, eh, it's OK.
It actually wasn't that bad.
No, it definitely was not a bad movie.
The storyline is great.
If you haven't witnessed I Am Legend, you know,
at this point, you can get it digitally.
I'm sure you can get it DVD virtually from anywhere.
Really, really good movie.
I think Will Smith won some awards for that movie.
But yeah, that was the time that we faked out Chris's mom.
Now, we got to say one more bit to it.
We got away with it clean.
But Chris had some convictions, didn't you buddy?
I did have some convictions.
I was about to say, I was like, we can't leave out
this part of the story.
So I'm sure two weeks had passed.
And I just remember I was sitting in math class.
Math class was the last period of the day.
I remember just sitting there doing my math homework.
And all of a sudden, and I promise you,
this was the first time I heard God's voice.
And I knew it was God.
I just remember doing math homework.
And I just remember hearing a little voice that said,
you need to tell your mom that you lied to her about the movies.
And I was like, and I looked over at my boy Demetrius.
I was like, Demetrius.
I was like, did you say something?
I was like, was that you?
Demetrius was like, nah, you're tripping dog.
And then I heard it again.
It was like, you need to tell your mom that you lied.
And I looked at Demetrius and I said, bro,
I know that with you this time.
And right as I'm looking at Demetrius,
I hear that little boy say, nah, you need to tell your mom
right after you get out of school.
So I'm like, oh man, doing the walk, the long walk of shame,
walking the green mile, knowing that I'm
going to have to tell my mom when I get in the car.
Because it was just like bothering me.
It was just bugging me.
And so I get in the car and I was like, mom,
I was like, I got to tell you something.
She was like, well, what is it?
And I was like, mom, I'm sorry.
I lied to you.
And I just came clean.
I spilled the whole guts and everything.
I said, mom, I went and saw the movie
that I wasn't supposed to.
And I lied to you about it.
She was like, well, was this your idea?
Were you more influenced to do this?
And I was just like, well, I was like, it was my idea.
But Micah also went along with it and everything.
She was like, that's why I pray for you boys.
I pray that y'all are surrounded by good influences.
That's why you need to choose your friends better,
because who you're around affects the choices that you make.
And I don't think my mom let me go to the movies again,
by myself for a while.
But actually, she wasn't mad, but she was more kind of
disappointed that I lied to her.
And I actually tell this story to my church kids.
And it's funny because every time,
I always capture them with this story.
They are glued to my, their attention is glued to me.
And no matter how many times I tell it, they're like, oh my gosh,
I can't believe you did that.
And I always have the kids ask, well, what movie did you go see?
And I was like, it's not important.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah, let's leave that part out.
Because they'd be like, really?
That's it?
I have legend.
I watched that when I was five.
Nowadays, right?
Yeah, kids nowadays.
That has no phasing for them.
But yeah, when I tell them that story, they're like, oh my gosh,
I can't believe you did that.
Like, they love that story.
They hear that story all the time.
So it's definitely a good life lesson for sure.
But it was definitely the time that we got away with it.
That's a good story.
Even though I did the wrong thing,
it was still, you know, it's a fun story to tell.
It's one of those, it really, I'm going to take a second here.
It really kind of encapsulates our friendship.
Like, we've had a bunch of stuff where it's always worked out,
but we've always gotten into some high jinks, I guess.
Or like, we've had some bright ideas.
And, you know, in this case, it worked out well.
Sometimes they don't.
And you get to hear that in the rest of the podcast episodes,
because we've divulged on a lot of them.
I tell everyone, me and Micah share a brain sometimes,
because we're all like, oh yeah, this is a good idea.
And most of the time, like, it's either one of,
like, we both have an idea, or like, we have part of an idea,
and then it just becomes concocted.
It's never been anything that's been, like, almost illegal,
or, you know, like, there are some things
that could have been life-threatening,
but thank the grace of God that nothing bad happened out of it.
But, like, it's never been anything
that's like illicit, or immoral, or illegal,
or anything like that.
It's just mischief.
It's more like stupid kid stuff, like, stupid boy crap,
right, like, two good friends getting into some crap,
but it's not really that big of a deal, you know.
We never really were into anything.
But the bad part is, is that whenever we have these ideas,
and like, this is still true to this day,
we're like, I was thinking the exact same thing, like,
we're like, oh yeah, you should lie to your mama.
I was thinking the exact same thing.
That's a great idea.
And then you're just like, oh man.
And then what he's talking about about the compounding is,
yeah, and then here's what we should do.
And just like in this case, it probably worked out this way.
We should lie to your mom.
That guy at the podium, he's not going to notice
once we're past there.
We'll just make it like we're going to the bathroom, right?
And we'll just skip the bathroom, go to the left,
and there's I am legend, right?
And that's how the plans always start.
It's always like some sitcom TV mischief
is what we get into.
That's usually what it is.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Well, man, are you ready to move to our next segment?
Let's do it, man.
I'm ready.
All right, man, so our next segment is the jelly donut.
Who do you think private pile?
Sir, jelly donut, sir.
A jelly donut.
Or the jail report.
So Chris, we have some great Florida stories.
I got to tell you, man, some good Florida.
And some of these aren't even a rest stories.
Some of these are just getting ushered out of places.
But still, Florida hats off to Florida
for just divulging all the information.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you, Florida, for having
such open policies about sharing your criminal records
and criminal history.
You know, I've always, I'm going to put this on.
I've always never understood why people don't do this more.
Even when I was in high school, we
had the school newspaper, right?
I always thought we should have the ISS report
and plaster these people's faces in there and what they've done.
I would love to read that.
Wouldn't everybody read that?
Oh, so-and-so is an ISS for punching so-and-so in the face.
Get the exclusive story on page six.
They did not like that idea.
Anyways, all right, so our first story from Florida.
A Florida woman is ushered out of a planning and zoning board
meeting because she called for, and if you've never
been to one of these planning and zoning board meetings,
they're very, very boring.
And most of the time, nothing entertaining goes on.
They open the forum up to the public.
And this lady walks up, blonde-headed woman.
And she says, also, she was accompanied by an older gentleman.
I'm looking at the picture now.
Accompanied by an older gentleman, she asked the board
to designate March the 10th as National Sugar Daddy and Mommy
Appreciation Day.
And- OK, my first question is, I know you're probably
going to get into this, but why that date specifically?
It doesn't say why specifically that date.
But the quote said from the woman, you guys may not be aware,
but Florida has the largest per capita population
of sugar daddies in the US, she said, pointing out
that South Florida has the most concentrated populace
of aged benefactors.
And so they should make March the 10th.
And also, this request was made on March the 2nd.
So I guess she was like, OK, a week from now,
we should have this holiday take place.
She didn't say what she wanted to take place with the holiday,
but just a general thing.
And the older man behind her was assumed to be her sugar.
Well, at least she is standing by her man.
Stand by your man.
But here's the thing.
Thanks, Juan.
I mean, that makes sense, because there are a lot of retired people
that go to Florida.
And I'm sure they are very wealthy.
And I'm pretty sure they are looking for some sugar for sugar.
Yeah, I'm sure.
But at least she's trying to at least bring acknowledgement
to it.
I don't know what they would do on said holiday.
I don't know if she wants a day off from work.
I don't know.
Well, she probably doesn't work, but at the same time,
I don't know.
What does this woman want?
It's a different kind of work.
Maybe she wants all the guys to pull out their yachts
and I don't know.
Who knows?
So like a 4th of July barbecue.
Yeah.
It's a holiday to get together, drink.
I'm a sugar daddy.
I don't know.
I have no clue what she wanted from that.
Anyway, it's got a little Florida, man.
They come up with some great stories.
And it's organic.
We don't even have to make this stuff up.
All right, so this next one here,
this is a good old fashioned police chase that was happening.
Apparently, it was just like the real life Grand Theft Auto
video game, as what it says here.
So the chase ensued after deputies clocked a 22 year old
driver going 172 on I-75.
He was accused of ignoring deputies' lights and sirens,
topping speeds of 210.
What's he driving?
That's my question.
What was he driving?
Was he a Lambo or what?
Like, my goodness.
My question is, and how do the cops keep up?
Maybe that's why.
I don't know, man.
That's kind of an interesting story there.
How do you get up to those speeds safely
without running in or wrecking or losing control
or running into somebody?
How do you?
That's my question.
I don't know where this was at.
It says, call your county.
The only thing I know about call your counties,
if you've seen Ace Ventura, Pet Detective,
they had to go down and call your counties.
If I know anything, if the movie's true,
it's in the middle of the swamp.
But I have no clue.
Because I've driven in Florida plenty of times.
And there's always too much traffic
to be going that quick, even on the interstates.
So I have no clue how he got up that quickly.
But obviously, he was endangering public safety.
So they arrest him.
And on the drive to the jail, the driver apparently
told the deputy it felt like he was in the video game Grand
Theft Auto.
See, that's the problem, man.
People play in those.
Because it really is true.
You play enough of that.
Like, I've had the thought, what if I just run into this?
Or what if I just do this?
Like in Grand Theft Auto.
Oh, and especially if you played on days on end,
remember when we first got it?
Or we would have rented it from Hastings.
We can talk about that at a different time.
But when we rented it from Hastings the first time,
I remember even talking to you about it's like,
when I go out in public, it's like, oh, yeah,
I could just smash that window and break into the car.
It's like, why am I having these thoughts all of a sudden?
It's because I'm playing Grand Theft Auto, I guess.
All right, so you ready for this next Florida Man story?
Let's do it.
Shirtless Florida Man found climbing a tree in the Everglades
like Tarzan.
So apparently the police lost sight of him after a chase,
but it wasn't long before they found him.
And he was climbing a tree.
So he took off from, what the story sounds like?
It sounds like he took off into the Everglades, which is not
something you want to do, just FYI.
Took off into the Everglades.
And he started climbing this tree, very, very tall tree.
And basically the body cameras showed him
trying to come down from the tree.
And they had all the canines around him.
So I mean, it's only a matter of time.
You've got to come down from the tree.
That's exactly what happened.
Yeah, yeah, you can't be playing around with them.
But it doesn't say what he was running from them for.
I don't know.
Why would you climb a tree?
Especially when you're running from the police,
don't you know the canines are going to come out there?
Sounds like good old Florida, maybe some bath salts are going
on or something crazy in it.
The heat gets to you, I don't know.
So we're going to move on to our very last one here.
And we've actually reported on this before.
But hey, it's so good.
We're going to do it twice.
And especially when we're revamping the first one here.
Remaster, why not bring it up again?
A Florida man hides in a unused ice chest.
So it wasn't plugged in, apparently.
And uses a whiteboard in the front of his house
to try to evade deputies by saying
that he does not live here.
Yeah, Florida tried to evade deputies.
Like I said, he was hiding in a freezer.
One of those ground freezers, or what do they call them?
Like chest freezers, you know what I'm talking about?
It was unplugged.
He was hiding in there.
But the main bit, they come to the front door and it says,
Johnny Yates does not live here.
And yeah, deputies didn't buy it.
And so they began looking around the house
because they had a search warrant and found him
in the ice chest.
So they arrested him for some other warrants that he had.
But yeah, that's FY.
If you're running from the police and don't want them
to think that you're at the house,
don't put on a whiteboard.
Hey, I'm not here.
Yeah, don't do that at all.
That's just not smart.
It's just not smart at all.
That's just that.
All right, man.
Well, that was our jail report or our jelly doughnut.
So you ready to move to our next segment?
Yeah, that's going to be the doughnut hole.
We talked about this on the OG version of the pilot episode.
But it's a sports story from the past or a sports figure
from the past, should we say.
And they're fall from grace.
OK, let's talk about this, Chris.
So Chris, and I grew up there too.
I don't know where I could technically say that I'm from.
But Chris was born and raised most of his life, Georgia.
And so this figure was a very prominent sports figure
in the state of Georgia.
By the name of Michael Vick.
Now, Chris, talk to us a little bit
about what Michael Vick meant to the Atlanta Falcons, the NFL
football team, and the state of Georgia period.
Basically, Michael Vick.
You got Michael Vick, and then there
wasn't a good quarterback until about Matt Ryan-ish.
So Michael Vick is a staple.
You can't not think about the Atlanta Falcons at that time
without thinking about Michael Vick.
And the sad part about Michael Vick
is Michael Vick was a revolutionary.
He was before his time.
He was what made him stand out.
Number one, he was left handed.
So that automatically makes him stand out.
Number two, he was among a group of quarterbacks.
There was maybe two others, Dante Colpepper and Donovan
McNabb.
And most quarterbacks are Caucasian,
but he was African-American.
And so that also made him stand out.
But also what made him stand out, too, being a quarterback,
was the fact that he was the first to kind of pioneer,
not pioneer, but like he was most known for being
a scrambling quarterback.
Now you see a lot of quarterbacks, they get out of the pocket.
But back in those days, the early 2000s and before,
it was always told to the quarterback,
stay in the pocket, stay in the pocket, stay in the pocket.
But Michael Vick was known for just rushing the ball.
He was a rushing quarterback.
He was good.
He was kind of revolutionary in that aspect.
Yeah, he was.
Best I can describe him was, and you
talked kind of about the other quarterbacks that
did it at the time, but not quite as,
Michael Vick was almost like the, how do I put this?
Like the playground or backyard quarterback,
if that makes sense.
Like the guy who was extremely elusive, very quick,
can get around there.
But you know what?
It garnered attention.
And a lot of people liked him for a lot of his abilities.
But at the same time, I remember even early on
before some of these issues that we're going to get into,
some people like my parental units.
And I think, Chris, you probably had something with your dad
at some point, where it's, that style wasn't popular back then.
Like it was new and cutting edge,
but it really wasn't popular.
A lot of people are, I don't know about that dancing around
back there and all this other stuff.
And just throw the ball.
Don't be running around.
Don't be dancing around.
And just like Chris said, nowadays we have people,
you know, we're talking about the Super Bowl
and the playoffs that are coming up right now.
And the Ravens and Lamar Jackson.
Lamar Jackson is basically, like he's different than Michael
Vick, but Michael Vick paved the way for those styles to be in.
I digress.
So Michael Vick, I remember, man,
everybody had Michael Vick jerseys.
I remember he was extremely popular.
Everybody wanted to be him.
When I talk about even being on the recess playground, right,
how many kids were out there with their Michael Vick jersey
trying to act like him?
I can think like a lot of them were trying to juke a job like him.
He was a lot like the Allen Iverson of the NFL at the time.
And if you don't know who Allen Iverson was,
he was in the NBA.
He was kind of in a weird way.
He was that differing rebel figure.
But as much as everybody liked him,
the tide started changing a little bit.
And Chris, what kind of happened when you started seeing it?
So Michael Vick was kind of a polarizing figure.
And I remember this is kind of what started it all.
And if you know anything about Michael Vick,
you know the big thing that kind of his fall from grace
that we're going to talk about in a little bit.
But what started it all was, I don't know what happened.
I maybe he had a bad game.
I don't know what it was.
But I think the fans were booing him.
And he just gave the double birds,
flipped them dirty birds on the way out.
And that was like a bit like that made the news headlines
on everything because it was unprofessional.
He was basically saying, I hate,
I hate this city of Atlanta.
I hate all my fans.
I don't even remember why he flipped them the birds.
Do you?
Yeah, so kind of.
So they had played the Saints, which were an indivision rival.
And I remember they were bad that year, like really bad.
They had only won three games and out of context,
I think this was out of 17 games.
You only win or 16 games.
You only win three.
That's not real good, right?
And so I think, there was a few fans that had stayed afterwards.
And I remember they were kind of yelling and screaming.
I'd watched it live.
Of course, it was on the news.
But yeah, he double flipped off the fans
as he was running out into the tunnel.
And even was cussing him out, too.
Which was just from what we were talking about before.
Everybody had their jersey.
He's very beloved.
Everybody really wanted to imitate him.
Especially at that time in the South and where it was,
that was extremely disrespectful.
Like that was extremely disrespectful to the fan base.
That was extremely disrespectful to Atlanta.
It was just extremely disrespectful all the way around.
I remember it was just like a punch in the gut to the fans
of the Falcons.
And even if you didn't like them, because I wasn't
a fan of the Falcons at the time.
But even then, it's like, ooh, that's messed up.
You're flipping off your own fans.
Like it's one thing if you're playing in the Superdome
against the Saints in New Orleans,
and people are heckling you, and you flip them off.
That's already pretty unprofessional, but that's different.
But these are your fans in your building,
which is pretty crazy.
But then it was interesting because the story kept
divulging.
I remember that was the start of it.
And there was a few other things that happened.
I remember he got scammed by one of his managers at one point,
stole millions of dollars from him and all sorts of stuff.
He was like in the news a ton.
Whether he was the victim or actually doing it,
he was kind of always in the news.
And then the big thing happened.
And Chris, I'll toss it over to you.
Oh, yeah.
I remember where I was when I found out about it.
Because weirdly enough, my grandfather, of all people,
actually told me about him.
My grandfather is not into sports at all.
But he was like, yep.
Did you hear about what happened to Michael Vick?
And I remember I was at a McDonald's eating ice cream
in Avery, Georgia.
I don't know why I remember that specifically.
It's one of the few memories that I have with my grandfather.
But he was like, yep.
He was like, Mike Vick got in trouble.
He's getting arrested for dog fighting.
So he was organizing dog fighting rings,
putting pit bulls up against each other
to fight to the death, which is horrible.
And so then I just remember that was a big thing.
And then I remember that caused a big divide.
Because I went to school.
That happened in the summer.
And I remember I went to school the next year.
And I remember seeing people still wearing Mike Vick jerseys.
And I remember just seeing this one guy.
And I was like, why are you wearing a Mike Vick jersey?
He was like, that don't mean he's still not a good player.
He was like, he made some of his mistakes.
And I was like, yeah, you write, you write.
But I remember that they made a whole big thing about his trial.
He was in the news.
They televised his trial.
Like it was like, that was his fall from grace, for sure.
Yeah.
And the defining moment in his career.
But he did get some redemption.
Because he did go to prison, I think, for three years.
Yeah, he did.
For a few years, I remember they, like you said,
they televised the court proceedings.
And then they also televised him going into prison.
And then the day he got out, I remember the day he got out.
And the question was, it was kind of unprecedented since OJ
and things like that.
But see, OJ was already out of his career.
What's going to happen with Michael Vick?
Like, does he have a career again?
Is he even able to play?
Because weird things happen with football players and things
like that, if you don't know.
Even three years, we don't know what kind of conditioning.
We're talking about the peak physical athlete before.
Three years, he could be a totally different person.
We don't know.
And but yeah, he ended up actually,
I don't know about his personal life,
but he seems rehabilitated and has done really well for himself.
Actually, he went back and played for the Philadelphia Eagles
and played for them for quite a bit, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.
But I don't think he ever recovered.
He did not go to, like, it wasn't the fame and the greatness.
No, no.
As he really was.
But he did kind of have a redemption.
Yeah, you know, the people of Philly loved him.
He took them to the playoffs pretty far for a few years.
And he was still very talented.
And now he's a sports commentator, you know?
So it wasn't extremely detrimental to his career.
But still, people do remember.
I mean, I don't remember who it was.
But there was at one point where I saw somebody,
or we saw Michael Vick as a commentator talking.
And somebody said, oh, isn't that the guy who got caught dogfighting?
It's not a stigma that's ever going to leave him.
But yeah, that was a very interesting time.
Man, I remember it went from, that fall from Grace was so quick.
When that news dropped that, I mean, even
that he was getting indicted for doing that,
or his name was a part of, because there's a whole ring that
got busted.
It was like his brothers and like a whole bunch of other people
that got busted for it.
And once his name was on it, man,
I remember there was people giving the Michael Vick jerseys
to the dog pounds in the town.
And we're like in Atlanta.
And there was like, do you remember the news footage?
It was like people picking up dog poop with Mike Vick jerseys
and stuff.
It was crazy.
It was sad.
The only thing I remember, and this is the last thing
before he transitioned, but I just remember,
I loved playing as the Falcons on Madden 2005,
because I liked Warwick Gun and like,
Peerless Price and all them.
But I didn't like playing with Michael Vick
because he was left handed.
So that changed the whole way I had to move the quarterback
and look at the screen and play.
So that definitely changed the game.
So I was like, oh, man, I need to trade Mike Vick for some reason.
Crazyness, craziness.
But yeah, that was a crazy hero to fall from grace
to then kind of OK again story.
So interesting.
But we're going to move on to our next segment, which
is what fries my donuts.
And hey, it's kind of like Family Guy with what
grinds my gears, but our own version of it.
So Chris, what fries your donuts, man?
Well, I have to preface this.
Is it preface or preface?
Which I say preface.
I say preface.
I read it as preface.
I know.
I read it preface.
I read it that way too.
I get it.
But I've been corrected too many times.
I've got a teacher for a while.
Yeah, I have to preface this by saying,
I am not talking about my wife or Micah's wife.
They are not one of these people, OK?
So hear me on that.
Wayne trying to get in trouble.
I mean, it's not true.
I just don't want people to think that I'm talking about my spouse,
because I'm not.
That's true.
That's something we didn't have to worry about on the first one.
So I don't know.
I don't like the people that are in relationships with people
that just don't do anything.
Like they have no motivation.
They have no goals.
Their partner is just sitting on the couch.
And these people get so excited about their partner
doing the bare minimum.
They're like, oh, yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
So and so texted me today.
Aren't they just the best?
Aren't they so great?
And it's like, that's kind of the bare minimum.
Or, oh, so and so, they took me out.
And they got me McDonald's, and they brought me McDonald's home.
They are just the best.
And it's like, OK, that's always good.
But then everything else, it's like that person
doesn't have no job.
They just lying around doing nothing.
They're sitting at home playing Xbox
or just outspending all the money.
And then come to find out, she had to actually pay
for the McDonald's herself.
He just happened to drive her over.
Well, no, no.
He just used her car.
He just used her car and drove her by the McDonald's
while he was going to her other chicken.
Yeah, he just drove her car to the McDonald's and picked it up.
That's what it was.
Yeah, I don't know what it is about that.
But I'm like, why do these people just
stay with people like that, man?
I don't understand that.
They're just sitting around doing nothing.
And they're like, I guess they're moochies.
They're burdens.
They don't have any goal.
Yeah, and you know what fries my donuts, but it's not
gender specific.
But each gender got their own stuff going on with it.
Now, I've seen too many guys that expect their women
to treat them like mom did them.
And listen, for a grown behind man,
you shouldn't be looking for a mom figure.
That's all I got to say on that.
I don't know about you, man, but that aggravates the mess out
of me because a lot of these guys that you're talking about
that sit around and play Xbox and whatever,
they want to not do nothing or even work a little part time
job, come home, play Xbox, have their meals cooked for them,
have their laundry done for them, have whatever.
And oh, baby, you know, you so great and have all of this.
And they wonder, you know, I don't understand that.
I don't understand that at all.
But that's all they want.
They want a mom, even emotionally too.
They act like a child.
And I want it all.
Anyways, I'll digress off of that one.
But same thing, man.
There's a lot of ladies out there too that are exactly the same
way that be putting it all on the men's back.
You know what I mean?
And just because they use that.
Oh, I'm supposed to be the woman.
And I'm not supposed to do anything.
Man, that ain't right.
That ain't right.
It's each individual situation is where it's supposed to be.
Whatever relationship it is.
Listen, if that's the dynamic y'all work out,
that's about y'all.
But most of the time, y'all are just a bunch of dead beats.
And most of the time what ends up happening too,
how many times you've been sitting there watching Jerry
Springer or Mari, and it's like he ain't got no job.
He's got three kids with other people.
And he's sitting around doing nothing.
But oh no, I'm going to go back with him,
even though he's cheated on me three times.
Like, man, don't make no sense.
There's a difference in like, there's some season where like,
maybe someone's out of a job and they're still looking,
or they're trying to go to school and like you're supporting them.
But these are the same people that are like, oh yeah,
all women are just awful.
Or oh yeah, all dudes are just awful.
They ain't nothing.
They're just horrible.
And da-da-da-da, I can't find a good man.
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
And my thing is like, and to paraphrase Kat Williams is like,
no, all the people you mess with ain't nothing.
They ain't worked that much.
And I'm like, you need to figure out what it is about yourself
that's attracting crappy people.
Because you want to be like.
Trash attracts trash.
Yep, exactly.
You need to have better standards for yourself, man.
But then they're always crying because they're like,
oh yeah, Jimmy cheated on me.
And it's like, yeah, because he has all the time in the world.
And then you ask Jimmy, why'd you cheat?
Well, you were never there.
You were never home.
And it's like, yeah, she was out making the bacon, bro.
She was out paying the bills.
You weren't doing nothing to help.
Like, of course, she's going to be not home
because she's having to support your lazy behind.
And that's what happens on the other end, too.
There's a lot of times where it's the dudes out there
working 16 hours a day.
And then it's like, oh yeah, I've
been cheating on you behind your back for six months or whatever.
Why?
Because oh, you ain't never there.
And I want to go out and do stuff.
Anyways, it happens all too often.
Bro, why are you trying to bring up my past?
Why are you trying to bring up my past?
I'm bringing up my past.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Anyways, we've had some experiences, the both of us,
very similar on that front.
So.
We weren't the ones cheating, by the way.
No, no.
We were just to clarify.
No, we know.
We were the ones out working 16 hours.
Yeah, we were the ones busting our humps.
We weren't the ones getting to play Xbox.
Let's move on.
I'm good to move on if you are.
All right, man.
So we'll move on from what fries my donuts
to a more positive, funny segment, which
is our mystery donut or our improv segment.
So first, our improv segment, we're
going to do some free improv.
And we're going to do scenes from a hat sort of thing.
And we're going to pull an accent.
And we're going to do a location.
So are you ready for that?
Yeah, I'm ready.
All right, man.
So it's old men.
OK, I can do that.
Waiting at the airport.
That's great.
I was just at the airport not too long ago, like three weeks
ago.
So that should be great.
You already know how it is.
All right, so if you want, you can start it or I can.
I'll start.
Yep, yep.
Even though we got here three hours early,
we need to make sure we check the boards.
Make sure our gate has a change.
You know, there's only five gates here,
but we need to make sure it ain't changed.
I was in Oklahoma City in the 1400s.
I mean, the 1942.
And there was three gates, and I had a problem with that.
So I agree with you 100% before we go to that Cinnabon,
we need to make sure that we've got everything
that we need covered.
Oh, Harold, I told you not to put your dentures
in your checked luggage.
Now you're just looking all crazy.
You can't even eat nothing.
You can't even eat that Cinnabon.
You know why?
Because your dentures are in that checked luggage.
Told you should have put them in your carry-on.
I knew I forgot something.
Dang it.
You know, I hope TSA didn't mess with that.
Yep, well, you know what's just new administration.
You know TSA, they're open.
Spend our tax dollars, TSA.
I'll tell you, it's government interference.
What it is, government interference.
Now, I don't think that's true.
I think this, oh boy, I'm getting tired.
Oh man.
I think this administration just, I think, uh.
Harold, Harold, wake up, wake up.
You know you're at desk doorstep.
You don't need to be sleeping next thing you don't.
We're in room for tape to snatch you up.
Know what the Bible says, don't you?
Says he come like a thief in the night.
That's what he's about to do.
Steal you, steal you, don't take you to heaven.
Take your desk doorstep.
I wasn't asleep.
I was talking about the Cinnabon.
I already told you, I already told you.
There ain't no Cinnabon here.
Hey, what seat are you on?
Are you boardin' in group seven
or are you boardin' in group five?
I don't wanna pre-board.
Pre-board, pre-board.
What you need is on pre-board.
Pre-boardin' for Sissy.
No back of my day.
There was no such thing as pre-board.
Back, there was no such thing as airplanes.
Walked, walked, jumped into airplanes.
Like only airplanes you bein'
as you flyin' over Nagasaki, Hiroshima.
Know what happened to them, don't you?
Poop, a poop.
Not there no more.
I'm more important than the woods new children
and I need to be put on first into pre-board.
Pre-board, pre-board.
You ain't important than nothing.
You know what?
If wife left you, she took all your money.
I told you, you shouldn't have sent that money
to that Middle Eastern people
that were sayin' that they love you.
You knew she was 24 and she was askin' you to send you,
send her money through Google gift cards.
That didn't cause a red flag to you.
You ain't, come on, come on, Harold.
Now hold on, she said that she was an ousted queen
and I needed to help.
Now when a queen targets you and says, Lay, I need help.
You, you're losin' now.
Come on, come on, Harold.
Speaking of queens, you're Nancy.
Let's go.
They're already callin' us for pre-board.
I thought you said you didn't like pre-board.
I didn't, but I gotta will you.
That's why I'm tryin' to get on first.
Got an X-erode seat, so I got some extra leg room.
Hope you can maneuver those doors.
We got a board, right now.
I wanna go to the Cinnabon.
That was our improv segment.
I love how you changed from this,
from the Wetzel pretzel to the Cinnabon.
Hey man, you gotta have some place
that you go to in the airport.
And I know that, so, Wetzel pretzel,
I don't even know if it's in existence anymore.
Have you seen one?
Yes it is.
Is it?
I've seen one.
And actually I saw it at, it was in the Orlando airport
and I saw it at Disney World.
Okay, okay.
There used to be Wetzel's pretzels of like every airport.
I don't know what happened and why there's not anymore.
I think they got bought out by Auntie Ian.
That probably makes sense.
Cause there is an Auntie Ian's everywhere in the airport.
And then there's, it also seems like there's a Cinnabon
in most every airport as well now.
But anyways, yeah.
So we'll move on to our last segment,
which is the Eclair segment,
finishing off with our positive advice.
So Chris, I'm gonna go ahead and start it off.
For my positive advice this week,
we live in a time where we have technology
that we've never had at our fingertips.
And we have a ton of modern conveniences that,
you know, I'll be honest with you,
even 10, 15 years ago I couldn't dream of.
When we were first doing our first, you know,
when we were first doing our first variety show,
I don't think I ever dreamed that we'd be doing a podcast
or anything like that.
Here we are and having the technology and, you know,
I'm gonna break character for just a second.
You know, in our first episode,
Chris and I were actually in the same room.
You know, podcasting together.
He and I are at a great distance.
I mean, he and I are 400 miles apart right now
and we can speak to each other and coordinate this
and get it done instantaneously.
And so we live in a fantastic time.
Don't let the negative bits of life deter you
from understanding the good times that we're having.
Now it might not be, you know,
technology and things like that.
We live in a time where there's so many good things
happening, whether there's good things happening
in your life, things like that, things can change.
And before you know it, you're going,
man, those are some good times.
And I'll be the first one to tell you,
I'm going through a portion of life right now
where it's like, man, I thought I was working hard then.
No, not at all.
I was actually resting a lot more then than I am now.
And I wish I had those times
so that I can take some time to rest now.
But you know, sometimes it doesn't happen that way.
And so just enjoy the times while you have them.
And cause you'll think back about them later.
And it is so much better if you enjoy and cherish the times.
And just enjoy the times that we're living, man.
We've got, again, we've got everything at our fingertips.
For sure, man.
Good word, good word.
Mine is, I'm going to keep it short.
But mine is make your goals quantifiable.
What I mean by that is everyone,
and we're already into the first month of the year, right?
Almost already wrapped up.
But at the beginning of the year, everyone's like,
oh yeah, I'm going to read more,
or I'm going to work out more,
or I'm going to be more, or I'm going to eat better.
Okay, if that's your goal,
you're not going to do any one of those three things.
But if you say, you know what?
By March, I'm going to try to do 100 pull-ups.
Okay, well now you have an actual goal
and you have an actual deadline
and you have an actual number to that goal.
Or if you say, you know what?
By May 31st, I'm going to read,
have had five books read.
And I'm going to do that by reading two chapters a day.
That's an easy attainable goal,
but for you to just make general goals
and not put any quantifying factors to them
or any deadlines to them, you won't reach your goals.
And so it's good to say, you know what?
I'm going to eat more, or I'm going to eat less,
or I'm going to work out more or work out less.
I don't know what you're going to do,
but you need to make sure you have an action plan
and put feet to the path.
And then stick to it, because then again,
if you give yourself a deadline,
you're more actually able to do that goal.
And you're going to look at it and say,
you know what? March is coming up.
At this point, I need to either adjust this goal
or I need to catch up to it.
So yeah.
Absolutely. And I'll just say one other thing
about that consistency is key.
It's very, it's easy.
Everybody says starting is the easiest.
No, that's not true.
I wouldn't say that, or I'm sorry,
that starting is the hardest part.
No, that's not true.
I honestly think staying consistent is the hardest part.
There's so many things in life.
I mean, it becomes easier over time.
Take this podcast for instance, right?
It was, I wouldn't say it was hard at first,
but it definitely took me a lot longer
to do everything that I do on a weekly basis.
And I'm sure Chris is the same way
to where to get this podcast edited up and running
and everything that we need to do,
it took me a lot longer at the beginning than it does.
Now everyone-
Oh yeah, it took me four hours to edit the first episode.
Now you can crank that out and how much time?
Pretty much an hour, an hour.
See, you know, and for me, it's everything that I do.
It's about the same thing.
It's about an hour, but the first time took,
you know, two, three hours.
So it's perfect in your craft
and it's also not giving up and being consistent
because after a while, it becomes muscle memory
and I'll put it to this way.
Each week this comes and goes
and I don't even think about it.
It's part of my schedule.
It's part of my plan.
So it, and before you know it, that workout schedule
or whatever that goal will be, will turn into that as well.
But man, we had a great episode,
great remaster of the first episode.
It was a great throwback.
We kept some things the same, changed some stuff,
but I'll tell you what has not changed
and that's where you can find us.
Besides one place that has changed.
No more TV trashcan.com, but you can find us still
on all of our socials, Facebook, Instagram.
And then we're on YouTube, so go check that out.
We'll have a few more shorts and some other things.
Like us, give us a comment, subscribe.
We'll have some posts and polls coming out,
things like that to see what you guys like.
Want to listen to more and see what you guys think.
Get some opinions, that sort of thing.
And then also be putting out some more stuff
on YouTube, things like that.
So it ought to be great.
We're super excited because we're,
we're boasting this new year.
And it's coming quick, fast in the hurry,
but we're excited for everything it's bringing.
Got anything to add, Chris?
I'm ready to make this out of the trash.
All right, man.
We're gonna take this donut box out of the trash.
I like it.
And this has been episode one remastered
for the donut box podcast.
We built this city on rock and roll.
Built this city.
We built this city on rock and roll.
It's just another Sunday.