Alright, so what's new with you, Alexa? How are things going in your world?
Things are going quite well. I just came back from my tour and I got to see Nashville and Kentucky
and other places in which I've already been to, but yeah, I think I'm going to travel more often now and build my client base.
Good. You should do that as often as possible. What do you like most about Kentucky?
I like that it's quiet. I think it's a good word for it because where I've been to, so I went to Louisville
and I did some traveling around to parks and parks. There's nothing really there except for restaurants,
but most of the places are closed for COVID still, which is sad. I did get to see a few movies while I was there, so that was nice.
Great. People are friendly.
Okay, so were you able to get some work done while you were there? Did you have clients?
Yes, I did have a few, but I had more in Asheville and Charleston because I've been there before and I kind of have my regulars there.
And they're both beautiful places too. They're very natural beauty. Charleston, of course, with the marshes and water
and the beaches and the old cities and the buildings, and then you have Asheville with the mountains and the unique culture and
the Smoky Mountains. It's great. So when you're in a new town and you're trying to establish a clientele or you're trying to make contacts,
how do you establish professional boundaries with people you've not met before? Let's talk about boundaries today.
Yes. So I explain to new people that, and they ask me sometimes that, hey, I don't do this, but I do this.
And you know, when they start, for example, some of them get quite obsessed with me and I had that happen before where they just sent me
very long text, semi-text messages like every five minutes and I'm like, hey, I do this unlimited texting and texting plan for like this much.
And if you're interested, let me know. We'll get that going. But because of my busy schedule, I just I don't have time to chat with you.
So that's like one of the boundaries that I set. Then the other ones that what I do and what I do not in bed.
And I know there's goals that do like, for example, Greek and, you know, bear services, which I don't know, like good for them.
They can do that. There's clientele for that. But safety first for me. So there's second one. Third one.
And I had that happened, happened very recently. One of my regulars, so I've been saying for a while, he's I guess I should rewind this.
So I started doing like deposits, so like 20 percent deposit out of our time together and whatnot. And I say that to everybody now,
like to new clients, to my regulars, because my schedule starting to get busy with tours, personal life, other stuff.
And one of my regulars, he is like, well, hey, it's me. Like, I never got to do deposit.
And I had to explain to him, like, look, like my schedule is busy with traveling, personal life.
And that way I know you're coming for sure, because he's the only one whose schedule is not consistent.
And it's like if he's not coming, then I got ready for him for no reason. And, you know, so I had to set that boundary with him.
And he's probably the reason why you would set a boundary in the first place with that deposit,
because, you know, like you said, if you devote the time to prepare, and was that usually 30 minutes to an hour to notice?
Is that what you require?
Like, I mean, preferably two hours. But I do work from early morning, say 8 a.m. until 9 p.m.
And he's inquiring like 30 minutes before he actually wants to see me, like this particular regular.
So it's like, you know, I have to tell him, like, give him a lecture almost.
And if you're not going to send deposit, that means you're just not respecting my time pretty much.
Like some of those guys, they text me an hour, 30 minutes before they want to see me,
and they think we're just like there waiting for them. And we're all prepped up already, like at 7 a.m.
Yeah, those weird early morning scenarios, because, you know, it's like you, if you're up and you're ready to do something,
you know, and you get there and it's so late or so early, depending on your perspective,
that, you know, guys either can't perform or they've been up all night doing coke and Viagra, and they're like ready to go.
And you're not. It's just like you got to find that. And then they get mad or they get, you know, it doesn't work out.
And you have that to contend with. So I can definitely imagine that.
Yeah, or some guys are just like they have their workday ahead of them and that's their morning routine is, you know,
we're going to we're going to do this and that I get that I got to work, you know, I can see that.
Have you had a lot of no shows, people who've canceled?
Back when I first started a lot of no shows because I did not do deposits back then.
And as soon as I started getting deposits, it's when people are like showing up.
It's like it's like, you know, for example, with any other business, pretty much like you pay deposit, you know, you're going to show up.
People will charge you cancellation. But yeah, then it's it's like paying for college class.
You pay for college class. You expect to show up if you don't, you're kind of losing money in a way.
But now you're done with that. That's good. You should be done.
And so not only do you I mean, I know you screen what's your screening process like?
How do you do that? And what do they expect? What should they expect from you?
Yeah, they should expect to provide social media links.
So I would see where they work at. What do they do?
And that could be a conversation starter on the conversation service.
Yeah, basically, like, for example, Instagram, I would see what they like, what are their hobbies.
Let's see. Second one is their selfie, how they currently look with their ID.
So I could Google them. So I would know they're not criminal or a cop.
And the third one is deposit. And that's that's when I pass the screening.
That's I'm like, OK, we're good to go. Like, let me know what time you can send deposit to either my cash or Venmo.
Now, do they ever balk at that idea and say, well, I don't get to see that with you.
How come you get to see that with me? Oh, yes, I had that happen.
And so some of them asked, like, well, can you prove you're real by like sending me a picture of you?
And I just say to them, I am verified on five websites and I am very verified on social media as well.
So that's that's my proof. And I tell them, like, if they say, well, I like to be discreet.
Well, I say my job is literally being discreet.
Not that men and women should be ashamed of doing this, but there are situations where consenting adults either have a significant other, a wife, a spouse, somebody.
And I know that they're doing that. And, you know, that's that's that's their problem.
I mean, I mean, I'm sure listeners will hear this and think, oh, this is a controversial topic. I'm going to get in trouble for saying this.
But that's that's not your problem. That's their problem.
They have to keep secrets from their family and loved ones.
I mean, you're facilitating a consenting relationship between two adults.
You have no role over what their wife or their girlfriend or their husband or whomever reacts and what they try to choose to keep from them or not.
So it's not your problem.
Why men would be like, I don't want anyone to know that I work at XYZ Corporation or I you know, this is my job that I have in a or whatever the case may be, I guess.
Yeah. So I for a time that so I have a I have a friend who is a courtesan before we were friends.
I was one of her clients and she had a similar vetting process to where we had to provide ID.
She had to look up your phone number, phone number that we were using to text with.
She had to make sure that it wasn't like a spam phone number and then, you know, just had to say, hey, you verified my ID.
I don't remember the site she had me go through, but it was very simple.
I mentioned that to her because I was like, well, you know, it's fair that I get to know this by too bad.
I don't know your real name. I mean, not that I needed to know her real name.
I don't know her real name because that's a protection point.
But we were discussing it and she's like, well, you know, I have a family and I'm married and, you know, I don't want people knowing my business.
I said, I can respect that, which I do respect that.
But the ironic thing is a few years later, I found her in one of our communities where it was a Swinger community that social media and I found her and her husband.
And it's not that, you know, that's not that it's power to know who somebody's real identity is.
But I was like, oh, well, now that I know this, I don't I don't need it.
I was never intended to know this as her client.
But now that she and I don't have a relationship anymore like that and we're friends, you know, I can keep that secret to myself.
I'm not going to go out and dox her. I mean, I'm sure somewhere will.
And that's despicable. But I would never dox somebody because I discover their real identities, you know, or what their personal life is and what their spouse is like.
And that's still their business.
You know, it's just it's really it's really the opposite side of the coin when you talk about keeping secrets from their husband, their wives.
You know, it's not on me to interfere or to express that point to them.
You know, I'm not going to dox anybody or tell anybody, tell anybody, you know.
So if you had if you had any body find out, you know, your personal information.
They told me that, hey, I found out your books, that you're a writer and you act.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm not like hiding that because and then again, like I'm trying to sell my books under my real name on Amazon.
And I have linked to that on my ad.
So it's it's fine. Like they do say that like, hey, I think that's amazing what you do in personal life. That gives me a view of another side of your personality.
And I'm like, cool, cool. But they still call me by my work name.
So I haven't had like anyone anybody say that I'm going to say this to the world and they're going to find out who you really are.
Like I have not had that knock on wood.
I'm going to say that it reminds me of, you know, personal relationships, too, because I even other work relationships, because, you know, one of my jobs that I have, you know, whatever career you're in, you should always instill professional boundaries.
And one of my job is, you know, I have multiple streams of income is, you know, why I work with other people.
And, you know, if you're if you're not establishing those kind of boundaries in general, then you're going to get walked all over.
And, you know, in personal life and relationships, I've had girlfriends that I've dated that after we broke up, I said, look, you know, I like you as a friend.
I don't want to date you, date you anymore.
Yeah. And they would get mad.
And after they got mad, they would, you know, say things or do things and they would, you know, constantly text message me or send me things that I, you know, I'm in love with you.
And I mean, that's that's fine. That's not fine.
Once you once you tell somebody that you don't like them like that, you know, them as a friend and then they confess, they confess their love for you.
You know, it's like, no, I don't know. I know I'm uncomfortable around you because you didn't understand what I was trying to tell you with the boundaries we're trying to set.
And it's just not fine.
That reminds me because, gosh, when when me and Michael first like started hanging out and like at the peak of our friendship, like I could tell like he really liked me because he always like tried to go with me on my dates.
And like everywhere. And I'm like, look, Michael, I like you as a friend, like as a brother almost.
But we can't be together.
And he just got so not mad.
But well, that was that time he got mad.
But he got sad at first.
So just yeah, like boundaries are so important in birth, personal and professional life.
And it's just disappointing that some people cannot cannot understand that.
And oh, yeah, sometimes people like to text me and just vent out their problems with their girlfriends.
And I was like, sit in there reading it and.
Interesting scroll scroll delete.
I'm not a I mean, I'm counselor when when people are here, I get paid to be a counselor sometimes.
Yeah, they're texting you with their problems and they're not compensating for it. And you're a hobbyist. You're doing it in your free time.
It's like it's like that one class I took about the escorting and the girls said, well, the teacher, she said that post very few photos
because that way they would see the pictures that are so good. Like basically you cannot come without paying it pain to me.
Like they can they would rather like enjoy you rather than your pictures for free, like rather than jerk off to your pictures.
Speaking of classes, I sent you a link on Instagram. I don't know if you've seen it or not yet.
I do. Yeah, coach for a Russ and money.
I'm not sure exactly what she's offering other than coaching, but I think she is a professional business development sex professional sex coach.
Sex business coach. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. So quick segue into from boundaries to other things.
I'm starting to establish some dominant services and dominant type media because I work with DSM and I'd like to get certified in some of the school.
Yeah. Yeah. So I've been I have an Instagram with that, which was we can link to the podcast later.
But yeah, I'm starting a journey and I found that in my searches of information and stuff.
So we'll see how that goes. Maybe we'll have a future episode about that. Yeah. But see how that turns out.
But anyway, I saw that and thought, you know, you should see that. You should see that, too.
So let me know if it turns out to be a decent or not. And we just maybe we can talk to her about that.
Yeah. So did you find your chapter on boundaries you're going to talk about?
I did. Yeah. Basically, I had this one guy. He was in the military.
It's those military guys that I have trouble with sometimes. Military and doctors.
But yeah, basically he was in the military and he we met up.
It was super easy, super fun. And then he just started texting me like very long texts, how he enjoys my company and how like he cannot wait to visit me again.
And at that time, I did not do my unlimited texting plan for 250 a week.
And I did not do deposits and none of that. But and then one day he was on my way to me.
And I was like, oh, well, I don't have your schedule. Like, why? Like I have to go to out of town.
And he's like, well, I just cannot wait to see you. And I'm going to be there around last time.
And it was like 30 minutes before. And I'm like, look, I have my own personal life.
You have to let me know when you have to let me know you have to schedule the time.
And like his schedule was pretty consistent. So like he could have scheduled.
But anyways, and he was like literally at the gate when he told me, sorry for wasting your time.
I'm like, and I'm just like, are you freaking kidding me? You rushed me, basically pushed me, rushed me on your own terms.
And I just like blocked the number. I don't know if we talked about it, but I had this one doctor.
And he basically almost pushed me to do bareback. And I'm like, no, not going to happen.
And he was like, well, the reviews say I'm like, I don't care what the reviews say.
Like if you're going to like I'm right here telling you this, whether the hobbies that are on these review platforms, they like to sugarcoat things.
They lie like 50 percent of those reviews are fake about me. So he actually somehow got into my Gmail account and like found out personal information about me.
And I had to contact somebody who used to work in the police and they they threatened him like, look, do your patients would like to know that you threaten somebody?
And like, yeah. So basically that got taken care of. That's good. It's terrible. You can't do that. And he was he was doing that anyway.
But as it goes, you know, you really can't tell who is going to be stable.
Even through vetting, you can't always tell who is going to be stable and understand the business and who's not going to.
And it reminds me of relationships I've seen. I had a friend of mine, she was a dancer and also an actor. And we had worked on some projects together.
And there was somebody on the set that we became friends with. And again, this is somebody that I'm a platonic friend with.
I mean, we never had a relationship. We were just friends, friends. Yeah.
I started noticing this other person and she had everything. She was in a relationship. She had a she had a child and she had a baby's father.
And they were, you know, still together. They weren't married, but they were still together.
And this person will call him. We'll call him Joey. Joey, I know, started hanging out with her more in her social medias.
I was thinking, well, that's interesting. They're doing things together. They're hanging out together.
And then one day the guy showed up in a Facebook crew. We had a crew Facebook group for the project.
And he shows up in the group chat and starts talking about her and everything and like being really inappropriate about all this personal stuff.
And I reach out like, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? What happened? What's going on?
And he's like, oh, I'm in love with this person and she doesn't love me. She doesn't realize she loves me back and she's, you know, her her her man is not treating her well.
And then I look, dude, you I know this. I know this situation that you're talking about.
And you definitely are way overstepping. And I asked her about it and I showed her the screenshots.
She's like, yeah, that guy's a guy's in love with me. He's a psycho. I'm like, yeah, you know, it's not.
I want to illustrate that to say that it's not just the fact that, you know, it happens to to courtesans,
courtesans or anyone else. I mean, it can happen to actors who are also dancers, strippers or just women.
I mean, men and I mean, I've had people that become obsessed with me that I, you know, like I said, like that one person who I dated for a little bit.
And then we just I just didn't have that connection that she had with me or she was feeling and it's so it's not just the fact that,
you know, it happens to professionals. It happened to anybody. Not that I need to dominate the conversation right now, but just dominate.
I understand. So what what do we have going up in the future?
Do you have some more events that you're more traveling to do? I'm traveling to Birmingham, Alabama, and then I'm going to Jackson, Mississippi,
and then New Orleans. And then I have to go back all the way to South Carolina to get my cat home and then Savannah for Thanksgiving.
And I am planning going to Denver. And December because I miss the snow and I want to feel the Christmas spirit. Yeah.
Yeah, I've always wanted to go to Denver and enjoy it. I hope you have fun. I know you have fun everywhere you go.
Yeah, unless I'm faking it. I'm like faking being happy. I'm kidding. No, I do have fun. I do. I go to all. Oh, go ahead.
No, no, I was just going to say that was that took a weird turn for a second, but that's me.
I have I have some traveling to you. I'll be in Savannah probably at the end of the month. Yes. And then I have I don't know.
I don't have a lot of things other than just trying to organize my ducks in a row for the dominant services that I'm considering offerings.
We'll see how that turns out. But yeah, it should be fun. It should be a good time.