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Thank you.

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It's not easy being a parent, at least sometimes.

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There are occasions when I wonder if the role of the parent isn't simply turning off lights

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that have been left on too long, unstopping commodes, and serving as an answering service

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for the children's telephone calls.

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Do you ever identify with that?

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There's one father who asked his daughter, honey, what's wrong?

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Usually you talk on the phone for hours.

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This time it was only half an hour.

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His daughter replied, it was the wrong number.

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Or maybe you're not at that point in life.

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I heard about one husband who said to his wife, it must be time to get up.

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And she said, well, why do you say that?

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And he said, because the baby's finally fallen asleep.

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Maybe some of you are at that point in life.

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Parents seem to spend the first part of a child's life trying to get him to walk and

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talk and the rest of it trying to get him to sit down and be quiet.

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It's not always easy being a parent.

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Neither is it always easy being a spiritual parent.

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But that's a special privilege which God grants to all of us.

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In Paul's case, as he wrote to the Thessalonians, he was writing to his own children in the

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sense that he had led them to Christ.

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They were his converts.

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In your case, that may be the same.

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Or in your case, it may be that you are a spiritual parent of adoptive children.

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Someone else has led them to Christ, but you have them in Sunday school or you have them

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in some responsibility like a small church leadership or a discipleship group.

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But many of us here today have a role of being a spiritual parent.

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What does it take to be a parent spiritually to other believers?

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Well, in 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7, we find something of an answer to that

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question.

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Read with me in your own Bible, 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7.

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You follow along as I read.

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But we prove to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own

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children.

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Giving thus a fond affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the

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gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.

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For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be

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a burden to any of you, we proclaim to you the gospel of God.

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You are witnesses, and so is God.

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Devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behave toward you believers, just as you know

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how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you, as a father would

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his own children, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into

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his own kingdom and glory.

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Giving a spiritual parent to another person means playing two roles, that of mother and

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father.

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And it means being willing to meet an essential requirement of all parents.

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Would you notice how the apostle puts himself and the team he was traveling with in both

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roles of mother and father?

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And as we look at this, I want you to watch for those applications that would arise to

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our family parenting as well.

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Being a spiritual parent means in the first place being a nurturing mother.

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A nurturing mother.

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Previously, the apostle Paul had denied in this chapter some unworthy motives and methods

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of which he was being accused by some.

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Now he very honestly expresses what his true and noble motives and methods were.

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He says, I was to you as a nurturing mother who was in the first place gentle in care.

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Verse 7.

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The word that is used here and translated in my Bible as nurturing mother could be a

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nurse, like a wet nurse, or it might be a nursing mother.

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I think personally that Paul had the second in mind.

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He is comparing himself to a mother who is nursing her baby at her breast.

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A mother who tenderly cares for that little one with gentleness.

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The same idea is found in tenderly care is found in Deuteronomy 22 verse 6 of a mother

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bird who sits upon her eggs to warm them.

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It's a very motherly kind of a picture.

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In verse 8 he speaks of the fond affection which he had for them.

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That term fond affection was used in that day in the nursery.

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It expressed the affection of parents for their children.

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It was found on one occasion on an inscription in a child's grave indicating the deep affection

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of those grieving parents who had lost their child.

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Gentle in care is the way the apostle Paul puts it.

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Gentleness and affection are always in order for spiritual parenting.

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There is a time when a believer, particularly a new believer, needs a sergeant.

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When he or she may need to be in a boot camp to learn some of the basics, but always it

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should be with tenderness and gentleness that we deal with those who are in our care.

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So that we as a nurturing mother, like one holding that child to the breast, with tenderly

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care and affectionately nurture that one who is in our custody.

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As a nurturing mother he says we were generous in nourishment.

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Verse 8, he says we loved you so much.

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That's the way the New International Version puts it.

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It's a very rare expression.

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It was this fond affection, this deep love that motivated Paul and his team to seek the

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benefit of the Thessalonian converts.

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It was a glad determination on their part to seek their welfare.

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And so they imparted to the Thessalonians what they needed in those early stages of

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growth.

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They imparted to them, first of all, the gospel of God.

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That is not only the seed of life, of course the Spirit of God uses the implantation of

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the gospel to bring forth life and regeneration.

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But the gospel of God is also the bread of life.

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It's the milk that a new convert needs.

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The apostle says we imparted to you the gospel of God.

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They did not hold back.

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When Paul uses the word impart it means we gave to you but we had some for ourselves

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and so we mutually shared in this.

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Paul says we imparted to you what we also were being nourished on, the gospel of God.

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And he says we also imparted to you as it were our own lives.

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What Paul meant was that in those three or four weeks that they were in Thessalonica

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they had imparted without reservation their energy, their ideas, their time, their understanding

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of the Bible.

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They gave themselves fully to these people.

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That can be a tremendous drain.

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You ask any parent here what kind of a drain it is to be a mother or a father.

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But oh what a privileged investment this is to nourish generously those who are just starting

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out in their Christian life or who are walking with the Lord with some maturity in them.

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Those that we are responsible for as spiritual parents need our gentle care.

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They need our generous nourishment not only in the facts of the word of God and its wonderful

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teaching, its theology, but they need our time.

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They need our energy.

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They need us to be there.

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That's true of our kids isn't it?

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We have given birth to our children now it is our responsibility to nourish them along

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in life.

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Not only with spiritual things but with just practical things about life itself.

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And that is a drain.

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I mean it takes a lot out of a parent to do that.

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But that's part of it and it's a great joy.

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Well as we do that for our natural children so we are to do that for our spiritual children

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and spiritual things.

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No matter what kind of nourishment those under you and under me are receiving.

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Does our life provide for them the kind of nurture that will enable them to grow?

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Is it a healthy diet that they are living on because of what we are imparting to them?

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The apostle says we were a nurturing as a nurturing mother because we were guarded in

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our demands of you, verse 9.

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The apostle was willing to physically labor to support himself as was the whole team.

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And that was not particularly easy.

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Notice the terms that he uses here.

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You know our labor and our hardship.

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Working night and day so as not to be a burden.

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That was Paul's concern.

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He didn't want to put too much upon these Thessalonian believers.

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He did not want to make demands of them which might discourage them.

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And so he was guarded in his demands.

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Any parent knows the importance of that.

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I remember when I was a youth pastor years ago talking to a young guy who had tremendous

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potential.

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Musically.

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He was well above average intellectually.

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But the guy was just beaten down because no matter what he did it was never good enough

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for his dad.

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And instead of his dad commending him on what he was doing very well, his dad always had

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a standard just a little bit higher than what he could reach.

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And it was a source of real put down.

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And he received that as rejection from his father.

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We parents have to be careful and guarded in our demands that we make on our children.

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Make them realistic.

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To challenge them but not to discourage them.

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And we are to do the same thing when we deal with others spiritually.

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It is important that we measure the demands, the expectations we have of those who are

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looking to us for nurture.

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Sometimes it's possible for us to overdo it.

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To expect too much.

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And as a result of that actually hinder our own goals for these people that we are seeking

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to lead.

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So the apostle says we fulfill the role of a nurturing mother.

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We were gentle in care.

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We were generous in our nourishment of you with the gospel of God and with our own lives.

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And we were guarded in our demands made of you.

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But now the apostle shifts the role and he says that he and the team were not only like

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a nurturing mother but they were like a discipling father.

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Verses 10 through 12.

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A father's counsel is needed alongside a mother's compassion.

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Paul here really is filling the role of a single parent in being both mother and father

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to these people.

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And now he is saying he was not only like a mother but he was like a father who came

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alongside to disciple them.

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A discipling father is in the first place one who sets an example.

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Boy that's important isn't it dad?

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We set an example of what we expect from our children.

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The apostle says in verse 10, you are witnesses and God is too for only he can see part of

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this.

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How we behaved among you.

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And he uses three words to describe the example that he left as a discipling father.

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He says we behaved ourselves devoutly.

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That is as God saw us.

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In God's sight we were holy.

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We behaved ourselves in such a way that God could examine us and be well pleased.

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He says we behaved ourselves secondly uprightly.

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That is in the sight of others.

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They could not point a finger of blame our direction.

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We were righteous in the way that we lived.

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We behaved ourselves uprightly.

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And he says thirdly we behaved ourselves blamelessly.

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Here he seems to point to his own heart and he says in the sight of our own consciences

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we behaved ourselves so that our consciences inwardly didn't point a finger of blame at

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us.

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You see the apostle Paul had a life pattern here that did not allow a legitimate accusation

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to be made.

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It was a pattern that was worth following.

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Can I take just a second to say, dad, you and I need to live this kind of a life.

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The kind of a life that is worth our children following in our steps.

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Several times I've been out with our children in the snow and I've looked behind only to

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see them stepping in my footprints as they followed me along.

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And it struck me each time how important it is that I leave footprints that lead them

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in the right direction.

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And that in the sight of God I live a holy life.

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In the sight of others it would be a righteous life.

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And within I know that I am blameless.

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Not sinless.

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For all of us are sinners.

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But there's no legitimate point of blame against me that I've not honestly and thoroughly

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dealt with, been transparent about.

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One who sets an example is a discipling father.

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Then in verse 11 we see a discipling father is one who gives instruction.

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One who gives instruction because he says, you know how we were exhorting, encouraging,

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and imploring each one of you.

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These are not entirely separate thoughts, but the idea behind exhorting means to call

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alongside, to give to another person counsel and guidance.

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This week we buried one of the finest coaches in this whole region.

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And right here in this section there were 173 athletes sitting who formed after Chubb's

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funeral an honor guard out to the hearse.

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Sitting side by side and the casket was brought out between them.

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One of the funeral directors who was here buried Vice President Humphrey.

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And he said in all of his years as a funeral director and as even one who buried the Vice

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President of the United States he had never seen anything like that.

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What was it that caused those young men to feel such loyalty and love for the coach?

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It was just this, he was to many of them a second dad, who knew what it was to call them

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alongside himself and to give them a word of counsel and guidance.

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And it caused a bond between them that even death itself could not break.

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That's the picture here.

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When you and I are spiritually parenting others we need to call them alongside us and give

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them those words of counsel and guidance that they need at appropriate moments.

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Oh what a bond that creates between people.

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He uses the word encourage, it's similar to the first one, but it means to speak alongside

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another person.

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And the idea here is more of a comfort.

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It's the word that is used and translated that way in John 11 a couple of times when

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it speaks of the Jews who came out to speak along the side of Mary and Martha because

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their brother Lazarus had died.

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When your child suffers a disappointment maybe she didn't make the marks that she wanted

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to in school or he wasn't able to get on the team that he was hoping to make.

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And there's that disappointment and you see it in the spirit, in the face.

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What do you do as a parent?

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You reach out with your arm and you take that little precious child to yourself and you

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whisper into the ear heartening words, inspiring things to encourage, to comfort in that moment

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of disappointment.

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It's part of being a spiritual parent too.

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Because as one walks through life there are many disappointments and as we grow spiritually

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we need someone alongside us just to minister to us in an encouraging way at that moment.

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He uses the word implore.

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It means to solemnly testify.

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It means to appeal or to urge upon someone a certain action.

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It means to influence either by words or by example to do something.

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It's the picture of the coach who calls the quarterback over between the plays and gives

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him the special play that they're to use then and as he goes back in gives him a swat and

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the quarterback takes it back to the team and they execute the play.

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What did he do there?

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Well he urged upon that quarterback a certain play, gave him the orders and he went back

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in and pulled it off.

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That's the picture.

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Imploring.

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A discipling father is one who gives instruction.

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Sometimes it's a word of counsel, sometimes it's comfort, sometimes it's an appeal but

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always it's instruction to the one who's in your care.

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A discipling father thirdly is one who reminds of the goal.

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Verse 12.

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Paul says, I did all of this so that you may walk in a manner worthy of God.

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Perspective about life comes with maturity.

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And one duty of a parent is to provide perspective before there's maturity.

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Not that it's always received well but it's the responsibility of the parent to provide

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it.

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To help the child see why it's important to do something a certain way.

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To help a child to understand the perspective of why down the road what you're doing now

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will be helpful to that child.

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And I say again, it's not always accepted immediately but at least it plants the seed

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of thought there as to why.

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A parent, a discipling father is one who reminds of the goal that's out there.

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Honey, the reason that we want you to divide these hundred pennies up this way is because

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we want you to learn to put some pennies away for the Lord, to put some pennies away in

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savings and then to spend the rest wisely.

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Very simple illustration.

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The reason that we want you to learn to have manners at the table, to say please and thank

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you is because in life it's important to treat others with courtesy and fairness and that's

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really what manners are all about.

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If you don't believe it, read the Berenstein Bears, they'll tell you that.

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Manners are all about fairness, treating other people in such a way that you'd like to be

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treated.

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I heard about one parent who said to his child, well I hear today that they taught you in

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school to say yes ma'am and no ma'am and that sort of thing, is that right?

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And the child said, yep.

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But the point is you have to keep before them the perspective, why these things are important

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and that's what Paul was doing.

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He says the goal we had was a holy life.

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We want you to live a life that is deserving of God.

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He's saying we want you to learn to make choices to deny yourselves and to deny sin within

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you so that you might follow the will of God.

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He says now how important is that?

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He says let me tell you something.

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He says this God that we want you to live worthy of has called you to his own kingdom.

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And not only that, to glory.

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He has called you to Christ's lordship in your life right now.

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That's an inner kingdom.

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And he has called you eventually to glory, the external kingdom of Christ's lordship.

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Not everyone's going to be there.

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God has graciously called you to this.

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Now walk worthy of the calling of God in your life.

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That's what he's saying.

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A discipling parent is one who reminds of the goal that's out there in front.

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Who helps the one who's less mature to understand the why.

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To be a spiritual parent one must be a nurturing mother and a discipling father.

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One of the most noble undertakings that any of us can accept is to be a spiritual parent.

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To aid others in their spiritual maturity and in their growth in knowing God.

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But as I began the message I said I wanted to talk to you about the two roles and the

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one essential requirement.

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And I haven't covered that yet and I will do that now in closing.

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To be a good parent.

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To be the kind of a parent who's a nurturing mother, a discipling father, there is an essential

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requirement and that requirement is sacrifice.

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You don't really realize that until you have your first child.

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You don't understand what a child is going to require of you until that child is born.

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And as those of you who know who have more than one children, as the family grows so

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does the sacrifice.

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It is impossible to be a good parent and not to experience sacrifice.

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Those things go together.

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We live in a generation today that wants the best of both worlds, who wants to have children

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for some good reasons perhaps but doesn't want to sacrifice for them.

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And the result is a lot of hurting children.

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To be a good parent requires sacrifice and Paul writes about that throughout this whole

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chapter.

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He says here's what we did, here's how we live, we didn't do this, we didn't do that

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because we wanted to be a good parent to you.

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It's okay to sacrifice too.

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Why is that?

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Because God rewards it.

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We never sacrifice something for God but that he doesn't pay us back a hundred fold for

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what we think we're giving up.

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In fact our Lord says that in light of the mercies that he has bestowed upon us, we ought

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to view our whole lives as a sacrifice.

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He says it is a good thing to do.

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It's only reasonable really.

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It only makes sense that in light of the mercies of God that we should present ourselves as

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a living sacrifice.

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God counts that holy.

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Oh that is well pleasing to God.

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Is that how you view life?

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Especially in our generation it's easy to see life as what we can get out of it.

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What it's going to provide for me, for my family.

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And we see all the arrows coming in.

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But if we want to be a good spiritual parent we have to see some arrows going out too.

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We have to understand that God has called us to pour out ourselves for the sake of others.

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What a precious and holy calling that is.

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God calls us to give him our best.

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The story is told about Queen Mary who made it a practice to visit Scotland every year

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in her reign.

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She was so loved by the people of Scotland that she often mingled with them without any

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kind of protective escort.

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The story goes that one afternoon she was walking with some children and went out further

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than she had planned to and some dark clouds came up unexpectedly and a storm let loose

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and began to rain.

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And so she stopped at a house to borrow an umbrella.

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If you will lend me one, she said to the woman who answered the door, if you will lend me

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one I will send it back to you tomorrow.

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This woman did not recognize that it was the Queen and was reluctant to give the stranger

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her best umbrella.

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And so she found an old one that she really intended to throw away anyway.

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Its fabric was torn and so on and it was broken and she gave it to the stranger at the door.

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The next day there was a knock at the door and the lady opened it only to be greeted

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by a soldier, one of the royal guard who was holding in his hands the tattered and torn

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umbrella that she had lent to the Queen.

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And he said to this woman, the Queen has sent me to return to you this umbrella and to thank

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you for loaning it to her.

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For just a moment there was a stunned look of astonishment on the face of the lady and

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then she broke into tears and she said, oh what an opportunity I missed.

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I didn't give the Queen my very best.

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You and I are at that place when we can choose every day to give God our best.

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I hope that we do that and that we see our lives as a sacrifice poured out to him and

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that we are ministering to other people around us like nurturing mothers and discipling fathers

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asking God to use us to help them to come to know him and to grow in him.

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That's what life is all about.

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Let's pray.

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Father in heaven, I pray today that you will write this encouraging word upon our hearts.

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Thank you for the privilege you give to us to be, as it were, spiritual parents to others.

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I pray that we will be able by your grace to fulfill that role of being a nurturing mother

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and a discipling father to our families, our friends, our acquaintances, those in our class

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or in our discipleship group.

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And Father I pray that we will be willing to give you our very best, that we'll be

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willing to meet that requirement of being living sacrifices and see ourselves poured

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out.

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Deliver us, I pray, from that greed that is such a part of our society.

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Deliver us from that worldliness and help us to see the arrows going out from our lives

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in ministry and service to others.

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Let's stand together please with our heads bowed and just saying the chorus we sang a

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little earlier.

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In my life, Lord, be glorified, be glorified.

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In my life, Lord, be glorified today.

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Just before I close in prayer, I want you to think in your mind and picture there those

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that God has allowed you to be a spiritual parent for.

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Maybe it's someone you've led to Christ or someone that you've sort of adopted, someone

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else has led them to Christ, but now God has placed them in your care.

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Are you being a good mother and father?

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May this prayer that we've just sung resound with the answer, yes, Lord, I'm willing and

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by your grace this week I will be what you call me to be to these others.

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Thank you, Lord Jesus, for calling us to this role of parenthood.

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Thank you for the calling eventually to glory that we shall enjoy.

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May we live now as though we were walking already in glory, enjoying its fullness because

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of our fellowship with you every day.

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And may we so live that on that day that we finally arrive in glory that we'll be glad

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we lived and sacrificed the way we did on earth.

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In Jesus' name, amen.