Thank you.
It's not easy being a parent, at least sometimes.
There are occasions when I wonder if the role of the parent isn't simply turning off lights
that have been left on too long, unstopping commodes, and serving as an answering service
for the children's telephone calls.
Do you ever identify with that?
There's one father who asked his daughter, honey, what's wrong?
Usually you talk on the phone for hours.
This time it was only half an hour.
His daughter replied, it was the wrong number.
Or maybe you're not at that point in life.
I heard about one husband who said to his wife, it must be time to get up.
And she said, well, why do you say that?
And he said, because the baby's finally fallen asleep.
Maybe some of you are at that point in life.
Parents seem to spend the first part of a child's life trying to get him to walk and
talk and the rest of it trying to get him to sit down and be quiet.
It's not always easy being a parent.
Neither is it always easy being a spiritual parent.
But that's a special privilege which God grants to all of us.
In Paul's case, as he wrote to the Thessalonians, he was writing to his own children in the
sense that he had led them to Christ.
They were his converts.
In your case, that may be the same.
Or in your case, it may be that you are a spiritual parent of adoptive children.
Someone else has led them to Christ, but you have them in Sunday school or you have them
in some responsibility like a small church leadership or a discipleship group.
But many of us here today have a role of being a spiritual parent.
What does it take to be a parent spiritually to other believers?
Well, in 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7, we find something of an answer to that
question.
Read with me in your own Bible, 1 Thessalonians 2, beginning in verse 7.
You follow along as I read.
But we prove to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own
children.
Giving thus a fond affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the
gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be
a burden to any of you, we proclaim to you the gospel of God.
You are witnesses, and so is God.
Devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behave toward you believers, just as you know
how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you, as a father would
his own children, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into
his own kingdom and glory.
Giving a spiritual parent to another person means playing two roles, that of mother and
father.
And it means being willing to meet an essential requirement of all parents.
Would you notice how the apostle puts himself and the team he was traveling with in both
roles of mother and father?
And as we look at this, I want you to watch for those applications that would arise to
our family parenting as well.
Being a spiritual parent means in the first place being a nurturing mother.
A nurturing mother.
Previously, the apostle Paul had denied in this chapter some unworthy motives and methods
of which he was being accused by some.
Now he very honestly expresses what his true and noble motives and methods were.
He says, I was to you as a nurturing mother who was in the first place gentle in care.
Verse 7.
The word that is used here and translated in my Bible as nurturing mother could be a
nurse, like a wet nurse, or it might be a nursing mother.
I think personally that Paul had the second in mind.
He is comparing himself to a mother who is nursing her baby at her breast.
A mother who tenderly cares for that little one with gentleness.
The same idea is found in tenderly care is found in Deuteronomy 22 verse 6 of a mother
bird who sits upon her eggs to warm them.
It's a very motherly kind of a picture.
In verse 8 he speaks of the fond affection which he had for them.
That term fond affection was used in that day in the nursery.
It expressed the affection of parents for their children.
It was found on one occasion on an inscription in a child's grave indicating the deep affection
of those grieving parents who had lost their child.
Gentle in care is the way the apostle Paul puts it.
Gentleness and affection are always in order for spiritual parenting.
There is a time when a believer, particularly a new believer, needs a sergeant.
When he or she may need to be in a boot camp to learn some of the basics, but always it
should be with tenderness and gentleness that we deal with those who are in our care.
So that we as a nurturing mother, like one holding that child to the breast, with tenderly
care and affectionately nurture that one who is in our custody.
As a nurturing mother he says we were generous in nourishment.
Verse 8, he says we loved you so much.
That's the way the New International Version puts it.
It's a very rare expression.
It was this fond affection, this deep love that motivated Paul and his team to seek the
benefit of the Thessalonian converts.
It was a glad determination on their part to seek their welfare.
And so they imparted to the Thessalonians what they needed in those early stages of
growth.
They imparted to them, first of all, the gospel of God.
That is not only the seed of life, of course the Spirit of God uses the implantation of
the gospel to bring forth life and regeneration.
But the gospel of God is also the bread of life.
It's the milk that a new convert needs.
The apostle says we imparted to you the gospel of God.
They did not hold back.
When Paul uses the word impart it means we gave to you but we had some for ourselves
and so we mutually shared in this.
Paul says we imparted to you what we also were being nourished on, the gospel of God.
And he says we also imparted to you as it were our own lives.
What Paul meant was that in those three or four weeks that they were in Thessalonica
they had imparted without reservation their energy, their ideas, their time, their understanding
of the Bible.
They gave themselves fully to these people.
That can be a tremendous drain.
You ask any parent here what kind of a drain it is to be a mother or a father.
But oh what a privileged investment this is to nourish generously those who are just starting
out in their Christian life or who are walking with the Lord with some maturity in them.
Those that we are responsible for as spiritual parents need our gentle care.
They need our generous nourishment not only in the facts of the word of God and its wonderful
teaching, its theology, but they need our time.
They need our energy.
They need us to be there.
That's true of our kids isn't it?
We have given birth to our children now it is our responsibility to nourish them along
in life.
Not only with spiritual things but with just practical things about life itself.
And that is a drain.
I mean it takes a lot out of a parent to do that.
But that's part of it and it's a great joy.
Well as we do that for our natural children so we are to do that for our spiritual children
and spiritual things.
No matter what kind of nourishment those under you and under me are receiving.
Does our life provide for them the kind of nurture that will enable them to grow?
Is it a healthy diet that they are living on because of what we are imparting to them?
The apostle says we were a nurturing as a nurturing mother because we were guarded in
our demands of you, verse 9.
The apostle was willing to physically labor to support himself as was the whole team.
And that was not particularly easy.
Notice the terms that he uses here.
You know our labor and our hardship.
Working night and day so as not to be a burden.
That was Paul's concern.
He didn't want to put too much upon these Thessalonian believers.
He did not want to make demands of them which might discourage them.
And so he was guarded in his demands.
Any parent knows the importance of that.
I remember when I was a youth pastor years ago talking to a young guy who had tremendous
potential.
Musically.
He was well above average intellectually.
But the guy was just beaten down because no matter what he did it was never good enough
for his dad.
And instead of his dad commending him on what he was doing very well, his dad always had
a standard just a little bit higher than what he could reach.
And it was a source of real put down.
And he received that as rejection from his father.
We parents have to be careful and guarded in our demands that we make on our children.
Make them realistic.
To challenge them but not to discourage them.
And we are to do the same thing when we deal with others spiritually.
It is important that we measure the demands, the expectations we have of those who are
looking to us for nurture.
Sometimes it's possible for us to overdo it.
To expect too much.
And as a result of that actually hinder our own goals for these people that we are seeking
to lead.
So the apostle says we fulfill the role of a nurturing mother.
We were gentle in care.
We were generous in our nourishment of you with the gospel of God and with our own lives.
And we were guarded in our demands made of you.
But now the apostle shifts the role and he says that he and the team were not only like
a nurturing mother but they were like a discipling father.
Verses 10 through 12.
A father's counsel is needed alongside a mother's compassion.
Paul here really is filling the role of a single parent in being both mother and father
to these people.
And now he is saying he was not only like a mother but he was like a father who came
alongside to disciple them.
A discipling father is in the first place one who sets an example.
Boy that's important isn't it dad?
We set an example of what we expect from our children.
The apostle says in verse 10, you are witnesses and God is too for only he can see part of
this.
How we behaved among you.
And he uses three words to describe the example that he left as a discipling father.
He says we behaved ourselves devoutly.
That is as God saw us.
In God's sight we were holy.
We behaved ourselves in such a way that God could examine us and be well pleased.
He says we behaved ourselves secondly uprightly.
That is in the sight of others.
They could not point a finger of blame our direction.
We were righteous in the way that we lived.
We behaved ourselves uprightly.
And he says thirdly we behaved ourselves blamelessly.
Here he seems to point to his own heart and he says in the sight of our own consciences
we behaved ourselves so that our consciences inwardly didn't point a finger of blame at
us.
You see the apostle Paul had a life pattern here that did not allow a legitimate accusation
to be made.
It was a pattern that was worth following.
Can I take just a second to say, dad, you and I need to live this kind of a life.
The kind of a life that is worth our children following in our steps.
Several times I've been out with our children in the snow and I've looked behind only to
see them stepping in my footprints as they followed me along.
And it struck me each time how important it is that I leave footprints that lead them
in the right direction.
And that in the sight of God I live a holy life.
In the sight of others it would be a righteous life.
And within I know that I am blameless.
Not sinless.
For all of us are sinners.
But there's no legitimate point of blame against me that I've not honestly and thoroughly
dealt with, been transparent about.
One who sets an example is a discipling father.
Then in verse 11 we see a discipling father is one who gives instruction.
One who gives instruction because he says, you know how we were exhorting, encouraging,
and imploring each one of you.
These are not entirely separate thoughts, but the idea behind exhorting means to call
alongside, to give to another person counsel and guidance.
This week we buried one of the finest coaches in this whole region.
And right here in this section there were 173 athletes sitting who formed after Chubb's
funeral an honor guard out to the hearse.
Sitting side by side and the casket was brought out between them.
One of the funeral directors who was here buried Vice President Humphrey.
And he said in all of his years as a funeral director and as even one who buried the Vice
President of the United States he had never seen anything like that.
What was it that caused those young men to feel such loyalty and love for the coach?
It was just this, he was to many of them a second dad, who knew what it was to call them
alongside himself and to give them a word of counsel and guidance.
And it caused a bond between them that even death itself could not break.
That's the picture here.
When you and I are spiritually parenting others we need to call them alongside us and give
them those words of counsel and guidance that they need at appropriate moments.
Oh what a bond that creates between people.
He uses the word encourage, it's similar to the first one, but it means to speak alongside
another person.
And the idea here is more of a comfort.
It's the word that is used and translated that way in John 11 a couple of times when
it speaks of the Jews who came out to speak along the side of Mary and Martha because
their brother Lazarus had died.
When your child suffers a disappointment maybe she didn't make the marks that she wanted
to in school or he wasn't able to get on the team that he was hoping to make.
And there's that disappointment and you see it in the spirit, in the face.
What do you do as a parent?
You reach out with your arm and you take that little precious child to yourself and you
whisper into the ear heartening words, inspiring things to encourage, to comfort in that moment
of disappointment.
It's part of being a spiritual parent too.
Because as one walks through life there are many disappointments and as we grow spiritually
we need someone alongside us just to minister to us in an encouraging way at that moment.
He uses the word implore.
It means to solemnly testify.
It means to appeal or to urge upon someone a certain action.
It means to influence either by words or by example to do something.
It's the picture of the coach who calls the quarterback over between the plays and gives
him the special play that they're to use then and as he goes back in gives him a swat and
the quarterback takes it back to the team and they execute the play.
What did he do there?
Well he urged upon that quarterback a certain play, gave him the orders and he went back
in and pulled it off.
That's the picture.
Imploring.
A discipling father is one who gives instruction.
Sometimes it's a word of counsel, sometimes it's comfort, sometimes it's an appeal but
always it's instruction to the one who's in your care.
A discipling father thirdly is one who reminds of the goal.
Verse 12.
Paul says, I did all of this so that you may walk in a manner worthy of God.
Perspective about life comes with maturity.
And one duty of a parent is to provide perspective before there's maturity.
Not that it's always received well but it's the responsibility of the parent to provide
it.
To help the child see why it's important to do something a certain way.
To help a child to understand the perspective of why down the road what you're doing now
will be helpful to that child.
And I say again, it's not always accepted immediately but at least it plants the seed
of thought there as to why.
A parent, a discipling father is one who reminds of the goal that's out there.
Honey, the reason that we want you to divide these hundred pennies up this way is because
we want you to learn to put some pennies away for the Lord, to put some pennies away in
savings and then to spend the rest wisely.
Very simple illustration.
The reason that we want you to learn to have manners at the table, to say please and thank
you is because in life it's important to treat others with courtesy and fairness and that's
really what manners are all about.
If you don't believe it, read the Berenstein Bears, they'll tell you that.
Manners are all about fairness, treating other people in such a way that you'd like to be
treated.
I heard about one parent who said to his child, well I hear today that they taught you in
school to say yes ma'am and no ma'am and that sort of thing, is that right?
And the child said, yep.
But the point is you have to keep before them the perspective, why these things are important
and that's what Paul was doing.
He says the goal we had was a holy life.
We want you to live a life that is deserving of God.
He's saying we want you to learn to make choices to deny yourselves and to deny sin within
you so that you might follow the will of God.
He says now how important is that?
He says let me tell you something.
He says this God that we want you to live worthy of has called you to his own kingdom.
And not only that, to glory.
He has called you to Christ's lordship in your life right now.
That's an inner kingdom.
And he has called you eventually to glory, the external kingdom of Christ's lordship.
Not everyone's going to be there.
God has graciously called you to this.
Now walk worthy of the calling of God in your life.
That's what he's saying.
A discipling parent is one who reminds of the goal that's out there in front.
Who helps the one who's less mature to understand the why.
To be a spiritual parent one must be a nurturing mother and a discipling father.
One of the most noble undertakings that any of us can accept is to be a spiritual parent.
To aid others in their spiritual maturity and in their growth in knowing God.
But as I began the message I said I wanted to talk to you about the two roles and the
one essential requirement.
And I haven't covered that yet and I will do that now in closing.
To be a good parent.
To be the kind of a parent who's a nurturing mother, a discipling father, there is an essential
requirement and that requirement is sacrifice.
You don't really realize that until you have your first child.
You don't understand what a child is going to require of you until that child is born.
And as those of you who know who have more than one children, as the family grows so
does the sacrifice.
It is impossible to be a good parent and not to experience sacrifice.
Those things go together.
We live in a generation today that wants the best of both worlds, who wants to have children
for some good reasons perhaps but doesn't want to sacrifice for them.
And the result is a lot of hurting children.
To be a good parent requires sacrifice and Paul writes about that throughout this whole
chapter.
He says here's what we did, here's how we live, we didn't do this, we didn't do that
because we wanted to be a good parent to you.
It's okay to sacrifice too.
Why is that?
Because God rewards it.
We never sacrifice something for God but that he doesn't pay us back a hundred fold for
what we think we're giving up.
In fact our Lord says that in light of the mercies that he has bestowed upon us, we ought
to view our whole lives as a sacrifice.
He says it is a good thing to do.
It's only reasonable really.
It only makes sense that in light of the mercies of God that we should present ourselves as
a living sacrifice.
God counts that holy.
Oh that is well pleasing to God.
Is that how you view life?
Especially in our generation it's easy to see life as what we can get out of it.
What it's going to provide for me, for my family.
And we see all the arrows coming in.
But if we want to be a good spiritual parent we have to see some arrows going out too.
We have to understand that God has called us to pour out ourselves for the sake of others.
What a precious and holy calling that is.
God calls us to give him our best.
The story is told about Queen Mary who made it a practice to visit Scotland every year
in her reign.
She was so loved by the people of Scotland that she often mingled with them without any
kind of protective escort.
The story goes that one afternoon she was walking with some children and went out further
than she had planned to and some dark clouds came up unexpectedly and a storm let loose
and began to rain.
And so she stopped at a house to borrow an umbrella.
If you will lend me one, she said to the woman who answered the door, if you will lend me
one I will send it back to you tomorrow.
This woman did not recognize that it was the Queen and was reluctant to give the stranger
her best umbrella.
And so she found an old one that she really intended to throw away anyway.
Its fabric was torn and so on and it was broken and she gave it to the stranger at the door.
The next day there was a knock at the door and the lady opened it only to be greeted
by a soldier, one of the royal guard who was holding in his hands the tattered and torn
umbrella that she had lent to the Queen.
And he said to this woman, the Queen has sent me to return to you this umbrella and to thank
you for loaning it to her.
For just a moment there was a stunned look of astonishment on the face of the lady and
then she broke into tears and she said, oh what an opportunity I missed.
I didn't give the Queen my very best.
You and I are at that place when we can choose every day to give God our best.
I hope that we do that and that we see our lives as a sacrifice poured out to him and
that we are ministering to other people around us like nurturing mothers and discipling fathers
asking God to use us to help them to come to know him and to grow in him.
That's what life is all about.
Let's pray.
Father in heaven, I pray today that you will write this encouraging word upon our hearts.
Thank you for the privilege you give to us to be, as it were, spiritual parents to others.
I pray that we will be able by your grace to fulfill that role of being a nurturing mother
and a discipling father to our families, our friends, our acquaintances, those in our class
or in our discipleship group.
And Father I pray that we will be willing to give you our very best, that we'll be
willing to meet that requirement of being living sacrifices and see ourselves poured
out.
Deliver us, I pray, from that greed that is such a part of our society.
Deliver us from that worldliness and help us to see the arrows going out from our lives
in ministry and service to others.
Let's stand together please with our heads bowed and just saying the chorus we sang a
little earlier.
In my life, Lord, be glorified, be glorified.
In my life, Lord, be glorified today.
Just before I close in prayer, I want you to think in your mind and picture there those
that God has allowed you to be a spiritual parent for.
Maybe it's someone you've led to Christ or someone that you've sort of adopted, someone
else has led them to Christ, but now God has placed them in your care.
Are you being a good mother and father?
May this prayer that we've just sung resound with the answer, yes, Lord, I'm willing and
by your grace this week I will be what you call me to be to these others.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for calling us to this role of parenthood.
Thank you for the calling eventually to glory that we shall enjoy.
May we live now as though we were walking already in glory, enjoying its fullness because
of our fellowship with you every day.
And may we so live that on that day that we finally arrive in glory that we'll be glad
we lived and sacrificed the way we did on earth.
In Jesus' name, amen.