Well, if you see all those names up there, it's
pretty impressive, isn't it? The number of people
who volunteer in various areas of our children's
ministry. And there's some of you, and we thank
God for you. Let's pray together and give thanks
to the Lord for our children's ministry. Father,
we're glad for what you're doing in the lives
of our boys and girls because of dedicated people
who are giving. Well, thank you for Julie and
Karen who've done such a magnificent job. setting
in this interim time as we seek a new children's
director. Father, I pray that those who have
given so generously will sense great encouragement
knowing that what they have planted in the lives
of boys and girls will bring fruit to the glory
of your name for decades to come. We claim that
and we give thanks for it in Jesus' name. Amen.
Let's open our Bibles together please to 1st
Corinthians chapter 7 as we continue working
our way through this great epistle written by
Paul the apostle. Today we're going to talk about
the advantage of being single as we pick up our
reading in verse 25 of 1st Corinthians 7. Now
concerning virgins, I have no command of the
Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the
mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then
that this is good in view of the present distress,
that it is good for man to remain as he is. Are
you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released.
Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
But if you should marry, you have not sinned.
And if a virgin should marry, she has not sinned.
Yet such will have trouble in this life, and
I'm trying to spare you. With this I say, brethren,
the time has been shortened so that from now
on those who have wives should be as though they
had none." Some of you Viking fans take that
a little bit too literally in Viking season,
I want to tell you that. And those who weep as
though they did not weep, and those who rejoice
as though they did not rejoice, and those who
buy as though they did not possess, and those
who use the world as though they did not make
full use of it. For the form of this world is
passing away. But I want you to be free from
concern. One who is unmade is concerned about
the things of the Lord, how he may please the
Lord. The one who is married is concerned about
the things of the world, how he may please his
wife, and his interests are divided. And the
woman who is unmarried and the virgin is concerned
about the things of the Lord, nor she may be
holy, both in body and spirit. The one who is
married is concerned about the things of the
world, how he may please, how she may please
her husband. And this I say for your own benefit.
not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote
what is seemly and secure, undistracted devotion
to the Lord." That's a great statement. But if
any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly
toward his virgin daughter, if she should be
of full age, and if it must be so, let him do
what he wishes. He does not sin. Let her marry.
But he who stands firm in his heart, being under
no constraint, but has authority over his own
will, and has decided this in his own heart to
keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.
So then that he who gives his own virgin daughter
in marriage does well, and he who does not give
her in marriage will do better. A wife is bound
as long as her husband lives, but if her husband
is dead, she is free to be married to whom she
wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion,
she is happier if she remains as she is. And
I think that I also have the Spirit of God. One
of our single women handed me this little note
last week as we talked about marriage and the
advantages of being single in the earlier text.
It says, men are like parking spaces. All the
good ones are already taken and the rest are
handicapped or their leaders are running out.
No, that wasn't one of our single women. That
was somebody else who gave me that. But today
we want to talk about the advantage of being
single. I was talking with a friend of mine a
few days ago and he made the comment to me, I'm
glad that my children are grown up. because of
the kind of a day that we're living in. Have
you ever had that feeling, those of you whose
children are grown? If you can identify with
that statement, then perhaps you can understand
a little bit of what Paul is saying here when
he argues for the advantage of remaining single.
Now, already in the chapters we have studied
it, he has written to us about singleness, but
now he is going to reiterate some of that and
expand on it. I know Paul's word and his spirit.
He says, I give an opinion. I think that this
is good. In my opinion, you see in writing by
the inspiration of the spirit, there is no doubt
of the authority of his words, and yet they are
not harsh, legalistic, and overbearing. There
is in this chapter a wonderful spirit of grace
that comes through in Paul's counsel. If I were
to sum up this chapter in its entirety, and perhaps
to the extent even the whole book, I would put
it in this sentence. Live wisely using the gifts
God has given you to serve Him in your world.
Live wisely using the gifts that God has given
you to serve him in this world. Now, as I mentioned
last week, in this chapter, Paul gives to us
a lot of advice and counsel concerning questions
that he had been asked. We don't have the questions.
And so what we attempt to do is go back to the
content and formulate what the questions might
have been. There are two questions in the text
as we've read it this morning. The first question
deals with this. Should a father give his daughter
in marriage? Now remember that the cultural situation
is quite different in Corinth than it is in contemporary
America. In those days, fathers or parents arranged
for marriages. And so the question arose, should
a conscientious Christian father arrange the
marriage of his unmarried daughter, or is it
better for her to remain single? That seems to
be the question that Paul had been asked. And
so now he is going to answer it. And so we come
first to his counsel. Verses 26 and 27 rather
summarize that. He doesn't give a commandment.
But his counsel is that they are better off not
to marry. A father is better not to give his
daughter in marriage. He says this is good. That
is, it makes good sense, and he lays out for
us three reasons why this makes good sense. First,
because of what he calls the present distress
in verse 26. The present distress. We need to
remember that a Christian is naturally in conflict
with the world system that we live in. When Paul
talks about a distressful time, this period of
stress, he may be referring to a persecution
that the Corinthians were in or which was impending
for them. I remind you of the words of our Lord
when he said, these things I have spoken unto
you, that in me you may have peace. In the world
you will have what? Tribulation. You will have
trouble. You will have pressure against you.
But take courage, I have overcome the world,
he assures us. Now in Corinth we know of no particular
persecution at this point that there had been
some earlier. But looking at history we know
that within ten years of Paul's writing this
epistle, Emperor Nero would reign in Rome and
would unleash throughout the Roman Empire a severe
persecution against Christians. Perhaps Paul
sensed that that was coming and he says in light
of that It may be better for a father not to
give his daughter in marriage, because to be
married multiplies the sense of responsibility
in a time of persecution. One who is facing persecution
is concerned for his family, but for her family,
who will care for them? The family suffers when
the father or the mother suffers. The husband,
the wife, suffers. Who will care for the family?
Who will feed to its suffering? I think of those
families who suffered greatly under the persecution
of communism in Russia and the stories I have
read in past years of fathers and mothers on
occasion also being dragged off to prison and
the family being left to its own. We can see
why Paul would say, in light of the present distress,
it might be better not to be married. The apostle
suggests a second reason, and that is because
of the shortened time. He talks about this in
verses 29 to 31. Literally he says, the time
is having been shortened. Now the question is,
what is he talking about? What time? The word
that he uses points to a particular appointed
time. He says that time has been shortened. Is
it the Lord's coming that Paul is thinking of?
In Romans 13 he writes, And this be knowing the
time that it is already the hour for you to awaken
from sleep, for now salvation is nearer to us
than when we believed. It may be he is saying
the Lord's coming is imminent and therefore it
may be better not to marry Or he may be pointing
towards that same persecution that he had in
mind by the present distress Either way you understand
that phrase Paul is encouraging believers then
and now to be detached from the world in a certain
sense In the language that he uses here, he says
that we must hold loosely to the affairs and
the experiences of this life. We need to realize
that the outward form of the world, its manner
of operation, its way of doing things, is right
now in the process of passing away, he says.
So don't hang on to it too tightly. And he lists
five common experiences that he says we ought
not to hang on to very loosely, very tightly.
The first one is marriage. He says if you have
a wife, then maybe you should live as though
you had none. He seems to point here to marriage,
that although we enjoy marriage, And we treasure
that relationship, and rightly so. We also need
to realize that marriage is a part of this world,
and that marriage relationship is casting away.
This is denied by some cults. The Mormons, for
example, teach that men should marry, at least
spiritually marry, many women in this world.
because someday those marriages will be consummated
in heaven. The Mooney talked about eternal marriages,
celestial marriages. The Bible says that marriage
is a part of this world and it as a relationship
is casting away. And so, understanding in its
context, he talks about weeping and rejoicing,
both of those human emotions, weeping over losses.
Well, we shouldn't weep too much because those
things that we lost were passing away anyway.
And did we rejoice over success or promotion?
Understand that that's temporal. He talks about
buying, getting involved in commerce, in investing,
in business. That's part of life. We all do that.
But he says, remember that that's not all that
life is. And it's passing away. And then he talks
about enjoying the pleasures of the world, the
fifth experience. And likewise, God doesn't mind
that we have pleasure in things, in this world,
but the point is that if we focus on those, we've
missed life. He says we are to hold loosely to
the experiences of life, because the shortened
time, we do not often extend. as much energy
and resource on the Kingdom of God as we do on
the things that are passing away. And that is
to our shame. It is the eternal things, whether,
that ought to matter. Those are the things that
ought to preoccupy us, that ought to absorb our
time, that ought to be the focus of our thoughts,
that ought to be the source of our resources.
We need to keep these things in perspective.
Paul says there's a third reason why he thinks
it might be better not to marry, and that is
because of the concerns of marriage. He speaks
about this in verses 32 to 35, the concerns of
marriage. Marriage carries certain responsibilities
with it. It makes demands upon our time and our
energy. It restricts us. It creates an encumbrance
upon us. Just ask the young man who is used to
playing softball all Saturday, every weekend.
What happens when he gets married? Softball doesn't
usually last very long. Because now he has another
concern. He's distracted from that hobby that
he had before by his wife. The concerns of married
can be heavy. Married people must divide their
interests between the things of earth and the
things of heaven, and rightly so. But Paul says
the unmarried, on the other hand, are able to
concern themselves regarding the things of the
Lord more fully, in body and in spirit. John
MacArthur writes, it is not that the married
believer has divided spiritual loyalty. or that
the unmarried is more spiritually faithful, many
married believers are holy in the sense of being
highly devoted to the Lord, and many single believers
are divided in their spiritual interests. He
says marriage does not present great devotion
to the Lord, and singleness does not guarantee
it. But, singleness has fewer hindrances and
more advantages. And so as Paul puts all these
reasons together, he says, it's probably better
for a father not to give his daughter in marriage.
That's his counsel. But then, Paul makes a confession.
And that confession is found in verse 28, where
he says, marriage is not sinful. He says, I think
it's better for you not to marry, but if... One
does choose to marry. He doesn't tend in doing
that. Marriage is not sinful. The point is that
we need to be sure that it's God's will for us,
and that it's not just social pressure forcing
us into marriage. God has ordained marriage for
the blessing of mankind, and it is a necessity.
for the propagation of the human race, it is
good, it is not sinful, but we have to recognize
that marriage, blessing that it is, does bring
trouble in this life. As Paul says here, the
word trouble in this verse means pressure. There
are difficulties, there are hardships, there
are griefs that come with the blessing of marriage.
Those troubles are due to our human fallenness.
We are sinners, and because of that we also give
birth to little sinners. And the result is that
there are troubles that come with Mary. It can
be summarized in words like anger, and forgetfulness,
and dishonesty, pride, indulgence. Demand. Thoughtlessness.
You see, all of those things come out of our
humanness. And they come with us in marriage.
And therefore, there's trouble. Marriage does
not solve problems. For some of you who are single
-thinkers, if I could just get married, it would
solve my problems. It does not solve problems.
What it does is magnify problems. The only thing
worse than waiting to get married is wishing
that you had. I'll tell you something, living
in single blessedness is better than living in
married cussedness. You need to think about that
before you get married. There can be trouble
in marriage. And so the bottom line that Paul
comes to is this. Each father or each parent
is free to decide for himself regarding the marriage
of his daughter. This is verses 36 to 38. He
may permit the marriage if he, in withholding
the permission to marry, in thus acting unbecomingly
toward his daughter, if in doing so he is creating
pressure in her. that is unwarranted, then he
should grant her the privilege to marry. If she
desires it, probably because she doesn't have
the gift of singleness, he says if she has passed
the full blossom of her youthfulness, which doesn't
mean necessarily she's an old maid, but she is
mature enough to make up her own mind, Paula's
saying you can permit the marriage, verse 36.
But he says you can also not permit the marriage,
verse 37. If that is a conviction, then don't
permit the marriage. Now in our culture today,
how does all of this apply? It seems to me it's
this. Each one has to decide for himself regarding
whether he should marry or not. Now we live in
a culture that has sort of demeaned the single
state. If someone is not married, then something
must be wrong with them. is often how people
view, at least in the past, have viewed singles.
That is so unscriptural, unbiblical. To be single
has great advantage, and it is a blessed fate
from God, it is a gift from God. And so I come
back to my main point this morning, and that
is this, that we need to live wisely using God's
gifts to serve Him in the world. And if God has
given you the gift of singleness, my friend,
thank God for that and use it. And do not feel
pressured into marriage. Now that brings us to
a final question, verses 39 and 40, and that
is the question, should a widow remarry? Or we
can say, should a widower remarry? God's principle...
as is clearly seen here, is that marriage is
until death. Now that wasn't his ideal. God's
ideal was Adam and Eve would live on in that
relationship, in their innocence and not know
death. But because of the influence of sin and
death, God's ideal was reduced to marriage between
a man and woman until death. Now Paul has three
notes here. It seems to me regarding his counsel
to widows and whether they should remarry. Frankly,
most widows that I know would laugh at this question.
Should a widow remarry? You've got to be kidding
me. But Paul's first note is this. It's a note
about liberation, that death frees the survivor
to marry again if he or she wishes to do so.
Most don't will. And that's fine. And that time
of life, although it can be lonely, can also
be a very fruitful time of life, as that singleness
is used for the glory of God. But then Paul's
second note in the stipulation says, you may
be married, but in the Lord, it must be to a
believer. And then he gives a consideration,
and that is, A greater happiness will be found
in following his earlier advice to stay single,
particularly in light of the present distress.
So those are Paul's few words, as it turns out,
to whither they should remarry. Now, to put a
line under this and sum it up, I want to talk
about five observations about marriage that we
glean from this chapter. The first is this. Only
you can decide if married will help or hinder
your life mission. That is God's purpose in your
life. Only you can decide that. Your mom and
dad can't decide it for you. Your friends can't
decide it for you. Be they single or married,
don't be pressured by them. Only you can decide
if marriage will help you or hinder you in accomplishing
God's mission and purpose in your life. I think
back to Jim Elliott, who waved this a long time.
before he asked Elizabeth to marry him. Because
he was very serious about being devoted to the
Lord. And finally he decided marriage indeed
would help him. But only he can decide that.
Secondly, parental involvement and pastoral counsel
in the decision are important. You will make
a big mistake if you don't include your parents.
in the process of making the decision, should
I marry this person or not? You need to listen
to their counsel because they know you better
than anybody else. And Paul is here giving pastoral
counsel, and that's why I say I think it's important
to talk to a pastor. We use a test here in our
church as part of the pre -married counseling.
That is a tremendous tool in helping a couple
see whether or not they're compatible. And to
understand what issues they're going to face
in their marriage should they proceed. It is
important to get that kind of counsel as you
are thinking about marriage. Third, marriage
brings both joys and cares. That's obvious. And
before if you marry, Marry only in the Lord.
Somebody said if you're a child of God and you
marry a child of the devil, you're going to have
a lot of trouble with your father -in -law. God
commands us to be married only in the Lord, only
to other believers. Number four. Number five.
Whatever your marital state, use it for the glory
of God. and the advance of His kingdom. That
brings me back to my point again, and I repeat
it. Live wisely, using God's gifts to serve Him
in your world. And as Paul points out in this
chapter, do that because you don't have long,
the Lord may be coming soon. We may be facing
persecution in our country. Life is short. The
time is short. Therefore, use your gifts to serve
the Lord. A man that I was pleased to be able
to call a friend in recent years was Judge James
Knutson. Some of you knew Judge Knutson in Anoka
County. He passed away in February at 80 years
of age. I knew the judge from a certain relationship,
but I did not understand the depth of his influence
in the lives of people. His memorial service
was probably close to two hours long, as selected
people got up and talked about how he had cut
their lives. in a variety of ways. And then,
I think it was the pastor of his church who got
up and read a poem that Judge Knutson wanted
read on that occasion. Because it summarized
how he saw his life. It was a poem written by
Samuel Shoemaker. He entitled it, An Apologia
for My Life. That is, a reason for my life. It's
entitled, I stand by the door. Listen to these
words. I stand by the door. I neither go too
far in nor stay too far out. The door is the
most important door in the world. It is the door
through which men walk when they find God. There's
no use my going way inside and staying there.
And for many are still outside, and they, as
much as I, craze to know where the door is. And
all that so many ever find is only the wall where
a door ought to be. They creep along the wall
like blind men with outstretched groping hands,
feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
yet they never find it. so I stand by the door.
The most important, the most tremendous thing
in the world is for men to find that door, the
door to God. The most important thing any man
can do is to take hold of one of those blind,
gulping hands and put it on the lap, the lap
that only clicks and opens to the man's own touch.
Men die outside the door as starving beggars
die on cold nights in cruel cities in the dead
of winter. Die for want of what is within their
grasp. They live on the other side of it. Live
because they have not found it. Nothing else
matters compared to helping them find it and
open it. and walk in and find him. And so I stand
by the door. Isn't that what using our gifts
to serve God is all about? Isn't just living
wisely to stand by the door? Life is quickly
passing. Harry Ironside included this poem in
his sermon on this text. Life at best is very
brief, like the falling of a leaf, like the binding
of a chief. Be in time. Ferris flowers soon decay,
youth and beauty pass away. Oh, you have not
long to stay. Be in time. And if you know today
without Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior,
be in time. Don't wait. Don't put off the decision
to trust Him because life is short. The Bible
says that today is the day of salvation. You
are not promised tomorrow. And if you know Jesus
Christ as your Savior, let's stand by that door
and be there in time. and use whatever gifts
God has given us, be we made or single, to use
those gifts that He has given us to serve Him
in the world and live life. Let's pray together.
As we talked about the advantage of the single
life this morning, You may thank God that you're
single, or you may be a very frustrated single
person. May I encourage you to stop focusing
on your singleness, and to focus on the door,
to focus on God's will and mission in your life,
and determine to live wisely using the gifts
He's given you. And if He brings you into a marriage
relationship, then bless God for it. If He does
not, then bless God that He has given you the
single opportunity to serve Him and praise Him
for the advantage of it. Married Christian, marriage
has its troubles, doesn't it? I'm not telling
you anything you don't know. But will you use
your Mary, that gift from the Lord, to serve
Him? Will you get your eyes off of the troubles
and on what the Lord has given you in this town,
that wonderful gift, and determined by His grace
to work through the troubles? so that you can
accomplish your mission, Bing Wade, I hope you
will. I know it may be tough. I know you have
some things to work through that may be very
hard, but God will be with you. God will bless
you and drive it. Father, I pray that whatever
our street that we will learn to be content,
and that in this state that you have called us,
we will choose to live wisely, not holding tightly
to the things that are passing away, but focusing
on that which is eternal, standing by the door
and using the gifts that you've given us to serve
you in the world for which you've put it. would
strengthen our resolve to be fully devoted followers.
In Jesus name I pray. Amen.