WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.220 And the fifth contingent, Paul deals with some 00:00:02.220 --> 00:00:05.219 of the issues in that congregation, and what 00:00:05.219 --> 00:00:11.320 we're going to do actually is enter into a married 00:00:11.320 --> 00:00:17.440 clinic with the Apostle Paul. We're going to 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:19.920 read the first 24 verses, so please open your 00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:23.140 Bible and follow along in whatever translation 00:00:23.140 --> 00:00:28.230 you have with you today. Now concerning... The 00:00:28.230 --> 00:00:30.250 things about which you wrote, it is good for 00:00:30.250 --> 00:00:34.350 a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, 00:00:34.429 --> 00:00:37.130 let each man have his own wife, and let each 00:00:37.130 --> 00:00:40.869 woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill 00:00:40.869 --> 00:00:44.070 his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife 00:00:44.070 --> 00:00:47.469 to her husband. The wife does not have authority 00:00:47.469 --> 00:00:50.630 over her own body, but the husband does. And 00:00:50.630 --> 00:00:53.189 likewise also the husband does not have authority 00:00:53.189 --> 00:00:57.820 over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving 00:00:57.820 --> 00:01:01.119 one another except by agreement for a time that 00:01:01.119 --> 00:01:03.500 you may devote yourselves to prayer and come 00:01:03.500 --> 00:01:05.859 together again lest fate can tempt you because 00:01:05.859 --> 00:01:09.459 of your lack of self -control. But this I say 00:01:09.459 --> 00:01:12.959 by way of confession, not of command. Yet I wish 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:16.340 that all men were even as I myself am. However, 00:01:16.599 --> 00:01:20.000 each man has his own gift from God, and one in 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.170 this manner and another in that. But I say to 00:01:23.170 --> 00:01:25.510 the unmarried and to the widows that it is good 00:01:25.510 --> 00:01:28.989 for them if they remain even as I. But if they 00:01:28.989 --> 00:01:32.750 do not have self -control, let them marry, for 00:01:32.750 --> 00:01:35.790 it is better to marry than to burn. But to the 00:01:35.790 --> 00:01:38.450 married I give instructions, not I but the Lord, 00:01:39.090 --> 00:01:42.890 that the wife should not leave her husband. But 00:01:42.890 --> 00:01:45.450 if she does leave, let her remain unmarried or 00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.629 else we reconcile to her husband, and that the 00:01:48.629 --> 00:01:52.790 husband should not send away his wife. But to 00:01:52.790 --> 00:01:56.609 the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother 00:01:56.609 --> 00:02:00.189 has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents 00:02:00.189 --> 00:02:03.150 to live with him, let him not send her away. 00:02:03.909 --> 00:02:06.450 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, if 00:02:06.450 --> 00:02:09.330 he consents to live with her, let her not send 00:02:09.330 --> 00:02:12.349 her husband away. For the unbelieving husband 00:02:12.349 --> 00:02:15.509 is sanctified through the wife, and the unbelieving 00:02:15.509 --> 00:02:18.229 wife is sanctified through her believing husband. 00:02:18.509 --> 00:02:21.830 For otherwise your children are unclean, but 00:02:21.830 --> 00:02:25.669 now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one 00:02:25.669 --> 00:02:28.729 leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister 00:02:28.729 --> 00:02:31.789 is not under bondage in such cases, but God has 00:02:31.789 --> 00:02:35.270 called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, 00:02:35.330 --> 00:02:37.229 whether you will save your husband? Or how do 00:02:37.229 --> 00:02:39.930 you know, O husband, whether you will save your 00:02:39.930 --> 00:02:43.930 wife? Only as the Lord has assigned to each one, 00:02:43.969 --> 00:02:47.069 as God has called each, in this manner let him 00:02:47.069 --> 00:02:50.120 walk. and thus I direct in all the churches. 00:02:51.379 --> 00:02:54.000 Was any man called already circumcised? Let him 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:57.539 not become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called 00:02:57.539 --> 00:03:01.039 in uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised. 00:03:01.659 --> 00:03:04.680 Circumcision is nothing, uncircumcision is nothing. 00:03:05.240 --> 00:03:08.539 But what matters is the keeping of the commandments 00:03:08.539 --> 00:03:12.240 of God. Let each man remain in that condition 00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:15.180 in which he was called. Were you called while 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:18.909 a slave? Do not worry about it, but if you are 00:03:18.909 --> 00:03:22.669 able also to become free, rather do that. For 00:03:22.669 --> 00:03:27.050 he who was called in the Lord while a slave is 00:03:27.050 --> 00:03:30.650 the Lord's freed man. Likewise, he who was called 00:03:30.650 --> 00:03:35.090 while free is Christ's slave. You were not bought 00:03:35.090 --> 00:03:37.530 with a price. You were bought with a price. Do 00:03:37.530 --> 00:03:41.310 not become slaves of men. Brethren, let each 00:03:41.310 --> 00:03:44.750 man remain with God in that condition in which... 00:03:44.780 --> 00:03:50.460 He was called. Well, marriage is a wonderful 00:03:50.460 --> 00:03:56.439 gift from God, our Creator. It reminds me of 00:03:56.439 --> 00:03:59.699 a story of a minister who was planning a wedding 00:03:59.699 --> 00:04:02.740 at the close of his Sunday morning service, which 00:04:02.740 --> 00:04:06.340 is sometimes done in smaller churches and more 00:04:06.340 --> 00:04:10.819 rural situations. As he was about to call the 00:04:10.819 --> 00:04:13.500 couple forward after the benediction, his mind 00:04:13.500 --> 00:04:16.199 went blank and he could not remember their names. 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:19.899 And so he simply said, will those wanting to 00:04:19.899 --> 00:04:23.339 get married please come to the front? Immediately 00:04:23.339 --> 00:04:26.100 nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, 00:04:26.199 --> 00:04:28.439 and six single men stepped up to the front of 00:04:28.439 --> 00:04:33.879 the church. Well, they wanted to claim God's 00:04:33.879 --> 00:04:37.560 blessing. Marriage is a blessing from God. It's 00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:42.300 designed... is for a lifelong monogamous relationship 00:04:42.300 --> 00:04:46.600 of love between man and woman. But we're very 00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:50.060 clear in these days of confusion that it does 00:04:50.060 --> 00:04:54.300 not involve same -gender relationships. God's 00:04:54.300 --> 00:04:58.160 design is for a lifelong commitment of love between 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:03.379 a man and a woman. Jesus talked a lot about marriage, 00:05:03.500 --> 00:05:07.819 but he leads to the Apostle Paul and other spirit 00:05:07.819 --> 00:05:10.199 -directed writers, the practical application 00:05:10.199 --> 00:05:14.740 of the theology of marriage. Now, it may be helpful 00:05:14.740 --> 00:05:16.939 to get a cultural glimpse, at least, of what 00:05:16.939 --> 00:05:19.139 was happening in the Roman Empire in the mid 00:05:19.139 --> 00:05:22.699 -first century AD. In the first place, there 00:05:22.699 --> 00:05:28.639 was a high divorce rate among the Romans. Homosexuality 00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:32.860 was very prevalent in their culture. There was 00:05:32.860 --> 00:05:37.959 widespread use of concubines. and there was a 00:05:37.959 --> 00:05:42.139 growing feminist rebellion. It sounds a little 00:05:42.139 --> 00:05:46.399 bit like our own culture, doesn't it? Now, Paul 00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:48.740 is writing to Christians who are living in that 00:05:48.740 --> 00:05:52.620 kind of a culture. Now, because of what he writes, 00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:56.360 he is sometimes accused of being an ascetic, 00:05:56.839 --> 00:06:00.959 or as against married. I have read that Paul 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:05.180 hated women. I have read also that Paul contradicted 00:06:05.180 --> 00:06:09.550 Jesus. and what he wrote here. None of that is 00:06:09.550 --> 00:06:14.269 true. It is true that Paul favored celibacy, 00:06:15.370 --> 00:06:19.069 but he also encouraged marriage, as we will see. 00:06:20.730 --> 00:06:23.189 Now you notice from what verse 1 says that Paul 00:06:23.189 --> 00:06:27.050 is answering specific questions that had been 00:06:27.050 --> 00:06:31.709 posed to him by the Corinthians. He does not 00:06:31.709 --> 00:06:34.389 give us the questions, he only gives us the answers. 00:06:35.240 --> 00:06:38.279 And so what we need to do is to go to his answers 00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:43.180 and try to reconstruct the question. Okay? That's 00:06:43.180 --> 00:06:45.519 how we're going to approach the text this morning. 00:06:46.180 --> 00:06:50.160 We're going to go to what Paul says in his response, 00:06:51.160 --> 00:06:54.620 and out of that, attempt to reconstruct the question 00:06:54.620 --> 00:06:59.639 that Paul was answering. It is as though, as 00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:02.019 we come to this chapter, the Apostle Paul sits 00:07:02.019 --> 00:07:06.259 down with us to teach us in a seminar or a clinic 00:07:06.259 --> 00:07:10.579 regarding marriage issues. We're going to see 00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:13.839 that some of the issues that Paul was dealing 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:16.839 with were the very same issues as we come to 00:07:16.839 --> 00:07:20.819 the end of the 20th century. Now the bottom line 00:07:20.819 --> 00:07:26.319 in this message is that God's revelation must 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:30.899 govern our marriage decisions. God's revelation 00:07:30.899 --> 00:07:34.019 must govern our marriage decisions. Not what 00:07:34.019 --> 00:07:38.519 we hear on radio talk shows, not what we pick 00:07:38.519 --> 00:07:43.759 up from columns in this paper, not what the advice 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:47.899 is from friends who don't know Christ. What must 00:07:47.899 --> 00:07:51.439 govern our marriage decisions is what God says 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:56.300 about it. And from that, I want to go on to say 00:07:56.300 --> 00:07:59.439 this, that obedience then brings God's blessing. 00:08:00.829 --> 00:08:05.790 And disobedience brings self -destruction. When 00:08:05.790 --> 00:08:07.949 God tells us to do something, it is for our own 00:08:07.949 --> 00:08:12.430 good. When we choose to obey God, it results 00:08:12.430 --> 00:08:16.189 in the natural blessings that come to us as a 00:08:16.189 --> 00:08:20.410 result. And when we choose to disobey what God 00:08:20.410 --> 00:08:23.829 says, then we are actually putting ourselves 00:08:23.829 --> 00:08:27.529 on a road to self -destruction. It is very, very 00:08:27.529 --> 00:08:33.279 serious. The choice is critical. But now let's 00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:35.980 try to think of the questions that Paul was probably 00:08:35.980 --> 00:08:38.840 answering as he wrote these words. The first 00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:42.220 question that seems to be in Paul's mind is this 00:08:42.220 --> 00:08:48.720 one. Is it wrong not to be married? Is it wrong 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:52.639 not to be married? The Jewish rabbis of that 00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:55.159 day, many of them, thought that it was, in fact, 00:08:55.460 --> 00:08:59.990 sinful not to marry. Out of that thinking, Paul 00:08:59.990 --> 00:09:03.450 may be answering this question arising in the 00:09:03.450 --> 00:09:07.429 Corinthian Church. Paul says in the first place 00:09:07.429 --> 00:09:12.190 regarding this question that it is good not to 00:09:12.190 --> 00:09:16.269 engage in marriage. In verse 1, the word touch 00:09:16.269 --> 00:09:20.629 does not mean to physically embrace or to touch 00:09:20.629 --> 00:09:25.690 a person. It is a euphemism for the intimacies 00:09:25.690 --> 00:09:29.559 of the marriage relationship. This is seen throughout 00:09:29.559 --> 00:09:33.940 the Old Testament, that touching, in this kind 00:09:33.940 --> 00:09:37.620 of a context, refers to the sexual intimacies 00:09:37.620 --> 00:09:41.919 of Mary. Well, Paul is saying here it is good 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:44.860 not to enter into that kind of a relationship. 00:09:45.580 --> 00:09:49.539 It is good. In fact, he exhorts them to follow 00:09:49.539 --> 00:09:55.299 his own example of celibacy in verse 8. Paul 00:09:55.299 --> 00:09:57.860 is saying here that as a general principle in 00:09:57.860 --> 00:10:03.320 light of the quote present distress As he calls 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:08.379 it in verse 26 the circumstances of the day It 00:10:08.379 --> 00:10:11.279 might in fact be better not to marry or to give 00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:13.899 your daughter in marriage as he says in verse 00:10:13.899 --> 00:10:18.659 38 Now having said that we need to note that 00:10:18.659 --> 00:10:21.500 Paul does not say that singleness is the only 00:10:21.500 --> 00:10:27.159 good Nor did he say that it's bad to be married. 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:33.279 He simply says it is good, it is a good, to be 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:38.299 celibate. And in doing so he shows us that singleness 00:10:38.299 --> 00:10:44.440 is not only acceptable, but it is a good to be 00:10:44.440 --> 00:10:48.220 appreciated. It is to be considered as honorable 00:10:48.220 --> 00:10:54.659 as married. He implies that it is a gift given 00:10:54.659 --> 00:11:01.500 by God to some. But if you don't have that gift, 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:07.100 celibacy can be terribly frustrating. And so 00:11:07.100 --> 00:11:10.000 the apostle says, secondly, that to avoid sexual 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:14.860 sin, it is better to marry. Singleness is good, 00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:20.350 but it fosters sexual temptation. as he suggests 00:11:20.350 --> 00:11:24.750 in verses 2 and 9. Now, in writing what he does 00:11:24.750 --> 00:11:28.350 here, Paul assumes monogamy. He talks about his 00:11:28.350 --> 00:11:32.309 own, her own. It is a relationship between one 00:11:32.309 --> 00:11:37.389 man and one woman. And he also makes it very 00:11:37.389 --> 00:11:40.970 clear that sex outside of that kind of a marriage 00:11:40.970 --> 00:11:47.860 is not permitted by God. It is sinful. Sex outside 00:11:47.860 --> 00:11:50.259 of the commitment and the love of a man -woman 00:11:50.259 --> 00:11:56.600 married is out of bounds, and it not only incurs 00:11:56.600 --> 00:12:01.179 God's judgment, it brings self -destruction as 00:12:01.179 --> 00:12:05.419 well. So Paul's counsel here, in light of this 00:12:05.419 --> 00:12:08.299 question, is it wrong not to be married, says, 00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:12.120 well, it's in fact good not to engage in marriage. 00:12:13.620 --> 00:12:16.929 But you have to have the gift for it. If you 00:12:16.929 --> 00:12:19.370 don't have the gift, it can be frustrating. So 00:12:19.370 --> 00:12:24.889 to avoid sexual sin, it is better to marry. But 00:12:24.889 --> 00:12:28.230 he says, if you have the gift for being single, 00:12:28.690 --> 00:12:33.629 use it. Use it. Now there's a second question 00:12:33.629 --> 00:12:36.730 that comes to mind as we continue on in our reading 00:12:36.730 --> 00:12:38.870 in these early verses of the chapter, and it's 00:12:38.870 --> 00:12:45.080 this. Should Christian couples separate? Paul's 00:12:45.080 --> 00:12:48.240 principle is no, no, they should not separate. 00:12:50.059 --> 00:12:51.919 If they are married, they are to be married. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:57.220 They should not separate. Christian couples, 00:12:57.379 --> 00:12:59.419 like all couples, need to be aware of people, 00:12:59.639 --> 00:13:03.519 of things, of circumstances, of attitudes that 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:07.179 tend to create division and separation in a marriage. 00:13:10.210 --> 00:13:13.009 One man said to his friend, my wife says if I 00:13:13.009 --> 00:13:16.110 don't quit playing golf, she's going to leave 00:13:16.110 --> 00:13:20.389 me. His friend said, well, man, that's too bad. 00:13:21.169 --> 00:13:22.990 And he replied and said, yep, I'm sure going 00:13:22.990 --> 00:13:30.370 to miss her. Golf? To be fishing? Now that it's 00:13:30.370 --> 00:13:32.070 a week after Oprah, I can get away with that. 00:13:34.059 --> 00:13:36.899 We need to be aware of those things that tend 00:13:36.899 --> 00:13:40.059 to separate us, because it is God's will for 00:13:40.059 --> 00:13:45.000 us not to separate. In this context, Paul says 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:50.320 several things that build on it. He says in the 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.639 first place in verses 3 and 4 that each spouse, 00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:57.679 in fact, has a duty to the others, has a duty. 00:13:58.500 --> 00:14:02.500 So that includes things like courtesy, manners. 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:08.000 being kind. Oliver Wendell Holmes said that the 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.419 nearer you come in relation with a person, the 00:14:10.419 --> 00:14:17.059 more necessary do tax and courtesy become. It 00:14:17.059 --> 00:14:22.360 is an observable but sad fact that too often, 00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:27.059 once we become married, we forget the courtesies 00:14:27.059 --> 00:14:31.200 and the manners and the words and the expressions 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:35.019 of love. that were part of dating courtship. 00:14:36.740 --> 00:14:39.500 We have that kind of a duty to one another, but 00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:42.519 in the context here, Paul is thinking about more 00:14:42.519 --> 00:14:45.759 than that, he's thinking about the intimacy of 00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:50.320 marriage. The obligation that comes to the husband 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:55.240 and to the wife with regard to sexual fulfillment. 00:14:56.740 --> 00:15:01.059 And he says that each has authority over the 00:15:01.059 --> 00:15:06.000 other. That means that each has an exclusive 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:11.759 claim on the other. And therefore married couples 00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:15.480 are not to separate. And we're to be aware of 00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:18.259 those things, those attitudes, those circumstances 00:15:18.259 --> 00:15:23.259 that bring separation and threaten that oneness. 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:27.659 In this fight, he says something further. He 00:15:27.659 --> 00:15:31.320 says neither spouse should deprive the other. 00:15:32.490 --> 00:15:36.250 There is the right of intimacy that comes with 00:15:36.250 --> 00:15:40.389 the commitment of marriage. And neither spouse 00:15:40.389 --> 00:15:45.149 should use that relationship of intimacy as a 00:15:45.149 --> 00:15:50.389 weapon against the other. It is never to be used 00:15:50.389 --> 00:15:55.470 to punish. It is never to be used to get even. 00:15:55.590 --> 00:15:59.129 It is never to be used to teach him or to teach 00:15:59.129 --> 00:16:05.710 her a lesson. There is a right of intimacy that 00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.370 comes with the commitment of Mary's now Paul 00:16:08.370 --> 00:16:14.049 does make an exception He says you may separate 00:16:14.049 --> 00:16:19.370 but only by mutual consent We both agree to it 00:16:19.370 --> 00:16:26.230 obviously for a limited time and for a well -defined 00:16:26.230 --> 00:16:31.139 spiritual purpose human since prayer And once 00:16:31.139 --> 00:16:34.179 that has been fulfilled, quickly come together 00:16:34.179 --> 00:16:39.620 again, resume your normal relationship. He says 00:16:39.620 --> 00:16:45.519 that anything else can lead to sin. It can leave 00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:50.100 you and or your spouse open to temptation. And 00:16:50.100 --> 00:16:53.039 so, neither spouse should deprive the other. 00:16:53.960 --> 00:16:57.340 Now Paul says, this is not my command that I'm 00:16:57.340 --> 00:17:02.480 giving you, it is my allowance. And then in verses 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:04.700 10 and 11, he goes on with another thought. He 00:17:04.700 --> 00:17:07.799 says, both spouses are to stay with one another. 00:17:08.660 --> 00:17:11.500 He says, to the married, I give instructions, 00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:15.960 not I, but the Lord. What he means by this is 00:17:15.960 --> 00:17:18.259 that Jesus referred to this. Later you notice 00:17:18.259 --> 00:17:22.079 he says, it is I saying this and not the Lord. 00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:26.019 He is not saying that this is not important because 00:17:26.019 --> 00:17:28.339 Jesus didn't say it. He is saying Jesus didn't 00:17:28.339 --> 00:17:32.170 talk about this. But I am going to talk about 00:17:32.170 --> 00:17:35.609 it, and he is saying that what I say to you is 00:17:35.609 --> 00:17:38.210 of equal weight and authority of what Jesus would 00:17:38.210 --> 00:17:43.789 say. That's his point. Now he says, the wife 00:17:43.789 --> 00:17:47.009 should not leave her husband, and the husband 00:17:47.009 --> 00:17:51.089 should not send his wife away. That is God's 00:17:51.089 --> 00:17:54.849 plan. That is God's ideal, that there be no separation. 00:17:56.359 --> 00:17:59.680 But notice the parenthesis, the beginning of 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:04.559 verse 11, if he does leave. You see the Apostle 00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:07.440 Paul was living in a fallen world as we are. 00:18:09.339 --> 00:18:12.279 And he recognizes that there are situations where 00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:15.119 this is going to happen even though God's perfect 00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:17.720 will is that Christian couples not separate. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:22.859 He doesn't necessarily say that it's even sinful. 00:18:23.940 --> 00:18:31.509 It may be. and it may not be. But because of 00:18:31.509 --> 00:18:33.769 the fallenness of the world and the fallenness 00:18:33.769 --> 00:18:39.089 that still remains in us as believers, he recognizes 00:18:39.089 --> 00:18:44.869 the reality that sometimes it happens. And he 00:18:44.869 --> 00:18:50.930 says when it does, there is no remarriage. So 00:18:50.930 --> 00:18:54.190 let no one think that Paul provides here an open 00:18:54.190 --> 00:18:56.970 happy door for Christian couples to separate. 00:18:59.170 --> 00:19:03.529 This is a very hard thing. And he says, if there 00:19:03.529 --> 00:19:07.910 is something that is so grievous that separation 00:19:07.910 --> 00:19:13.049 happens, then there is to be no remarriage on 00:19:13.049 --> 00:19:15.730 the part of either spouse that is outside of 00:19:15.730 --> 00:19:18.609 God's will. Now they may reconcile. They may 00:19:18.609 --> 00:19:22.829 come back together. the two of them. But other 00:19:22.829 --> 00:19:25.589 than that, they are committing themselves to 00:19:25.589 --> 00:19:32.849 a future life of total celibacy. Now, what is 00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:37.230 it that generates separation? Why does Paul even 00:19:37.230 --> 00:19:39.769 need to address this? Well, as I said, it's because 00:19:39.769 --> 00:19:42.509 of the kind of world that we live in. It's because 00:19:42.509 --> 00:19:47.450 of the kind of people we are. What is it that 00:19:47.450 --> 00:19:49.869 generates separation so often it's the little 00:19:49.869 --> 00:19:53.890 things and Because they aren't dealt with over 00:19:53.890 --> 00:19:59.930 a period of time They really tear up a relationship 00:19:59.930 --> 00:20:04.910 I Was in a hardware store recently looking around 00:20:04.910 --> 00:20:08.130 if you men have a hard time understanding why 00:20:08.130 --> 00:20:11.809 your wives can go to a mall and Shop for three 00:20:11.809 --> 00:20:15.759 hours and come home without anything God be praised 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:19.200 when that happens, right? But you can go and 00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:22.420 look around the store and just be content looking. 00:20:23.619 --> 00:20:25.839 And you don't like to go because you get frustrated. 00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:28.420 Just think what you're like in a hardware store. 00:20:31.380 --> 00:20:33.599 I go into a hardware store, go up and down the 00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:35.700 aisles. I just like to see what's on sale and 00:20:35.700 --> 00:20:38.279 what this gadget is and what that's about. Don't 00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:41.940 you do that? So recently I was in there and I 00:20:41.940 --> 00:20:45.660 saw this contraption. It had sharp spikes in 00:20:45.660 --> 00:20:49.279 it, and it was spring loaded. And it was a mole 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:54.000 trap. A mole trap. I was fascinated by this thing. 00:20:54.700 --> 00:20:57.259 Have you ever had a problem with moles? I mean, 00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:00.259 in the yard? I got a couple of my back, too, 00:21:00.279 --> 00:21:02.579 but I'm talking about the other kind of mole. 00:21:04.539 --> 00:21:08.200 Well, I've tried poison peanuts. You know, those 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:12.539 little peanuts that are blue, and you... put 00:21:12.539 --> 00:21:15.180 them down in the hole, which absolutely guarantees 00:21:15.180 --> 00:21:17.619 that mole will never come that direction again. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:20.740 You can count on it. When you put a peanut in 00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:24.180 there, that runway is done. The mole will never 00:21:24.180 --> 00:21:29.299 come and eat those peanuts and die. You can get 00:21:29.299 --> 00:21:31.819 a spade and stand out there and wait for the 00:21:31.819 --> 00:21:33.859 mole to come around. You can see them moving 00:21:33.859 --> 00:21:37.420 through the tunnel. But you'll probably be on 00:21:37.420 --> 00:21:39.619 social security before you ever kill all of them. 00:21:40.900 --> 00:21:44.460 So you get these traps. But you know there's 00:21:44.460 --> 00:21:49.119 really a simpler way than a trap, even? All you 00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:51.160 have to do is to get some chemical and go out 00:21:51.160 --> 00:21:55.200 into the yard and poison the grub worms. Because 00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:58.539 that's why the moles are there. They don't care 00:21:58.539 --> 00:22:01.460 about your lawn. They don't care about you. All 00:22:01.460 --> 00:22:06.440 they want are the grub worms. And so if you kill 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:10.200 the grub worms, you get rid of the moles. And 00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:13.940 you know what our marriage is? It's the grubworms. 00:22:14.299 --> 00:22:16.700 Those little things that just irritate and aren't 00:22:16.700 --> 00:22:19.920 dealt with over a period of time that bring the 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:23.079 bigger problems that begin to undermine the relationship. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:29.680 What are the grubworms that are working away 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:36.220 in your relationship today? Paul says Christian 00:22:36.220 --> 00:22:40.460 couples are not to separate. Now, there's a third 00:22:40.460 --> 00:22:42.819 question that arises as we continue on in the 00:22:42.819 --> 00:22:47.640 text. It is this, did a Christian leave an unsaved 00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:53.859 spouse? The problem that is in Paul's mind apparently, 00:22:54.140 --> 00:22:56.539 having been asked this question by the Corinthians, 00:22:57.059 --> 00:23:00.160 is does living with a non -Christian defile a 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:04.720 believer? And Paul's response is absolutely not, 00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:08.700 the same thing, verses 12 and 13. Now the question 00:23:08.700 --> 00:23:11.740 may have arisen out of ancient Israel's laws 00:23:11.740 --> 00:23:14.720 and practices, such as in the book of Ezra, when 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:18.319 the pagan wives were to be put away. And so the 00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:20.480 Christians in Corinth now were asking the question, 00:23:20.500 --> 00:23:22.500 well, I'm married to a pagan. Should I put the 00:23:22.500 --> 00:23:26.880 pagan away? And so Paul responds, saying, no, 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.079 that is not the case. In verse 14, he talks about 00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:33.119 what we might call matrimonial sanctification. 00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:38.630 He says, the unbeliever is set apart by the believer. 00:23:40.869 --> 00:23:43.390 So that the children that are produced in this 00:23:43.390 --> 00:23:46.589 union are holy and not unclean. The marriage 00:23:46.589 --> 00:23:51.069 is not unholy. It is not unclean. He says the 00:23:51.069 --> 00:23:54.490 unbeliever, in fact, is sanctified. Now, that 00:23:54.490 --> 00:23:56.769 doesn't mean the unbeliever is automatically 00:23:56.769 --> 00:24:02.190 saved by being married to the Christian. It does 00:24:02.190 --> 00:24:05.170 not even guarantee that this person will be saved. 00:24:05.869 --> 00:24:08.690 It suggests that there's a spillover effect of 00:24:08.690 --> 00:24:12.289 God's blessing in the life of the Christian with 00:24:12.289 --> 00:24:19.170 that unbelieving spouse partakes in. They are 00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:21.970 under the blessing of God and they enjoy that, 00:24:22.670 --> 00:24:25.589 and the hope is, and maybe even the tendency 00:24:25.589 --> 00:24:28.890 is, that by the godly living of the Christian, 00:24:28.990 --> 00:24:32.109 the unsaved spouse will come to Christ. Verse 00:24:32.109 --> 00:24:37.569 16. I could give you anecdotes about that. One 00:24:37.569 --> 00:24:41.769 is of a converted Hindu woman who offered a great 00:24:41.769 --> 00:24:46.109 deal at the hands of her non -Christian relatives. 00:24:47.789 --> 00:24:49.690 So a missionary asked her one day, when your 00:24:49.690 --> 00:24:53.769 husband's angry and persecutes you, what do you 00:24:53.769 --> 00:24:57.690 do? And her response was, I just cook the food 00:24:57.690 --> 00:25:01.299 better and I sweep the floor cleaner. And when 00:25:01.299 --> 00:25:03.680 he's unkind with me, I answer him mildly, and 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:06.799 I try to show him in every way that when I became 00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:12.500 a Christian, I became a better wife. And the 00:25:12.500 --> 00:25:16.539 missionary you had that encounter tells us that 00:25:16.539 --> 00:25:19.799 over a period of time, the Holy Spirit used that 00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:24.279 godly woman to bring her Hindu husband to the 00:25:24.279 --> 00:25:30.240 Savior. It's not easy. The Paul says don't separate, 00:25:30.380 --> 00:25:33.799 but there's a note of clarification. What if 00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:38.859 the unsaved one initiates the divorce? What if 00:25:38.859 --> 00:25:42.079 that pagan spouse says, look, you're not the 00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:47.039 one I married. I'm getting out of here. What's 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:51.180 a Christian to do? The Paul says the Christian 00:25:51.180 --> 00:25:54.019 is not under bonded in those kinds of cases. 00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:57.009 In the context of the chapter, that seems very 00:25:57.009 --> 00:25:59.190 clearly to me not under bonding to the marriage 00:25:59.190 --> 00:26:03.049 vow, to the marriage union. Let him go, says 00:26:03.049 --> 00:26:06.910 Paul. You're called to peace. You're called to 00:26:06.910 --> 00:26:11.430 peace. And so this seems to allow for the dissolution 00:26:11.430 --> 00:26:14.609 of a marriage on the grounds of desertion in 00:26:14.609 --> 00:26:19.410 a case where an unbeliever becomes a believer 00:26:19.410 --> 00:26:24.789 and now there is a mixed marriage. Now, it's 00:26:24.789 --> 00:26:28.490 not talking about where a believer disobediently 00:26:28.490 --> 00:26:33.650 marries an unbeliever. He is talking about where 00:26:33.650 --> 00:26:36.529 two people who are unsaved find themselves in 00:26:36.529 --> 00:26:40.029 a situation where now they are mixed. And one 00:26:40.029 --> 00:26:42.710 has become a Christian, and one fast refuses 00:26:42.710 --> 00:26:45.009 it and says, I'm out of here. I don't want to 00:26:45.009 --> 00:26:50.430 be married to a Christian. And Paul says, let 00:26:50.430 --> 00:26:54.990 him go. Let her go. There seems to be a second 00:26:54.990 --> 00:27:00.309 biblical allowance for divorce, along with adultery. 00:27:00.609 --> 00:27:03.849 Allowance, I say, not command. It is permitted. 00:27:05.990 --> 00:27:08.369 And by the way, the reason that God permits it 00:27:08.369 --> 00:27:12.529 is so the one who is left, the innocent one, 00:27:14.130 --> 00:27:18.970 is able to remarry in the Lord. Where there is 00:27:18.970 --> 00:27:22.650 a biblical allowance for it, there is the inherent 00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:27.490 right for the remarriage. Now, I know that this 00:27:27.490 --> 00:27:30.130 kind of thing brings up all sorts of questions 00:27:30.130 --> 00:27:34.170 and it's impossible to answer them in the context 00:27:34.170 --> 00:27:36.509 of this chapter or in the time we have this morning, 00:27:36.549 --> 00:27:39.029 but let me say that the elders of this church 00:27:39.029 --> 00:27:42.089 have hammered out a statement regarding marriage 00:27:42.089 --> 00:27:45.690 and divorce, and you are welcome to ask for a 00:27:45.690 --> 00:27:47.670 copy of that at the church office and we'll send 00:27:47.670 --> 00:27:51.539 it to you. Let me leave that and go on to the 00:27:51.539 --> 00:27:54.099 final question, which is now found beginning 00:27:54.099 --> 00:28:00.460 in verse 17, a question that rather provides 00:28:00.460 --> 00:28:03.200 the context for all that Paul says in this chapter. 00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:06.720 The question might be put this way. Paul, should 00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:11.240 a Christian agitate to change his status after 00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:15.720 conversion? Should he feel pressure to change 00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:19.180 his status, be it social status, economic status? 00:28:19.259 --> 00:28:24.940 Ethnic status, political status, whatever. The 00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:27.019 married questions that Paul has been dealing 00:28:27.019 --> 00:28:30.420 with is here tied to and placed under another 00:28:30.420 --> 00:28:34.480 general principle that we see here. Paul is saying 00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:37.839 that a believer should remain as God has called 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:43.440 him. That's the idea. And in the context of the 00:28:43.440 --> 00:28:45.500 larger chapter, we would say it this way then. 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:50.400 If a believer... is married to an unsaved, then 00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:53.059 that person should remain in that relationship. 00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:56.960 Or I think we can also say, if there has been 00:28:56.960 --> 00:28:59.799 a wrong divorce in the past, and now there's 00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:04.420 a remarried, do not break the second marriage 00:29:04.420 --> 00:29:07.319 to return to the first. It only compounds the 00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:12.079 problem. Paul says, if you're a Gentile, remain 00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:14.640 a Gentile. If you're called as a Jew, remain 00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:17.480 a Jew. If you've been called into Christ as a 00:29:17.480 --> 00:29:20.420 slave, remain a slave. However, he says, if you 00:29:20.420 --> 00:29:23.940 can be freed, be freed, but use that freedom 00:29:23.940 --> 00:29:29.500 for the Lord. The principle here is to abide 00:29:29.500 --> 00:29:31.640 in the calling in which you were saved. It might 00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:35.380 be called the principle of the status quo. He 00:29:35.380 --> 00:29:37.660 is saying the most important thing is not whether 00:29:37.660 --> 00:29:41.799 you're slave or free or Gentile or Jew or married 00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:45.619 or divorced or single. He says the most important 00:29:45.619 --> 00:29:49.500 thing about you is your spiritual position, that 00:29:49.500 --> 00:29:56.759 you're in Christ, that you're in God. He says, 00:29:56.759 --> 00:30:01.220 coupled with that, needs to be a desire in your 00:30:01.220 --> 00:30:04.660 heart to keep God's moral commandments. Verse 00:30:04.660 --> 00:30:08.920 19. And so if we're going to summarize this principle, 00:30:08.940 --> 00:30:13.880 it would be this. your circumstances to God's 00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:20.660 providence and seek to obey Him. That's what 00:30:20.660 --> 00:30:23.740 Paul is saying. Whatever the issue may be in 00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:25.579 your life, and it may have nothing to do with 00:30:25.579 --> 00:30:31.799 Mary, he says, trust the circumstances of your 00:30:31.799 --> 00:30:34.940 life to a God who is bigger than all of your 00:30:34.940 --> 00:30:39.579 situations. And God, who in his providence, which 00:30:39.579 --> 00:30:42.500 is wise and loving, arranges your circumstances, 00:30:42.700 --> 00:30:46.779 trusts him with your circumstances, and seeks 00:30:46.779 --> 00:30:52.960 to obey his moral commandments. Now, I think 00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:55.119 you can see from this chapter that the Word of 00:30:55.119 --> 00:31:00.119 God directs us counter to much of the present 00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:03.720 wisdom of the world. You're not going to hear 00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.619 this kind of stuff on talks. radio programs on 00:31:07.619 --> 00:31:10.059 these syndicated television programs stood out 00:31:10.059 --> 00:31:14.180 of the pit. They bring every perverse thing before 00:31:14.180 --> 00:31:18.799 audiences who applaud like little idiots. You're 00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:23.400 not going to hear this kind of thing there. Because 00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.180 all of that, most of that, let me back up, most 00:31:27.180 --> 00:31:32.640 of that is worldly wisdom. You can go out to 00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:34.720 your friend who doesn't know Christ, or maybe 00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:37.240 even a Christian friend who does know the Lord 00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:39.740 but is not walking with God, and you can get 00:31:39.740 --> 00:31:42.160 advice that will be counter to what God says. 00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:45.059 And I could name you this morning enough marriages 00:31:45.059 --> 00:31:47.460 that I know of from this church to put on one 00:31:47.460 --> 00:31:52.299 hand, at least, where one spouse or the other 00:31:52.299 --> 00:31:55.559 has gone out and gotten bad advice from people 00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:57.579 who are supposed to be Christians and followed 00:31:57.579 --> 00:32:02.950 that and ruined their marriage. because they 00:32:02.950 --> 00:32:07.630 did not listen to the Word of God. Even Christian 00:32:07.630 --> 00:32:12.650 friends can give you ungodly counsel. So my point 00:32:12.650 --> 00:32:14.750 this morning at the beginning was that we need 00:32:14.750 --> 00:32:18.509 to understand that God's revelations have governed 00:32:18.509 --> 00:32:25.910 our married relationships. When we obey it, we're 00:32:25.910 --> 00:32:31.430 blessed. When we disobey it, we self -destruct. 00:32:33.250 --> 00:32:35.769 God is not trying to be mean in what he tells 00:32:35.769 --> 00:32:39.009 us. He's not trying to make us miserable God 00:32:39.009 --> 00:32:43.289 simply knows more than we do And he says if you 00:32:43.289 --> 00:32:47.269 will do this You will have blessings, but if 00:32:47.269 --> 00:32:51.730 you don't do that Then you will experience self 00:32:51.730 --> 00:32:57.970 -destruction The choice is ours A number of years 00:32:57.970 --> 00:33:00.230 ago there was a ship that went down on the Irish 00:33:00.230 --> 00:33:04.509 coast Everyone was puzzled as to why the ship 00:33:04.509 --> 00:33:08.470 would have gone down, hit the rocks. So they 00:33:08.470 --> 00:33:11.750 sent divers down to recover bits of it and one 00:33:11.750 --> 00:33:13.609 of the things they brought back from the depths 00:33:13.609 --> 00:33:17.670 was the compass of the ship. They opened it and 00:33:17.670 --> 00:33:19.849 examined it and they found that down inside the 00:33:19.849 --> 00:33:24.829 compass was the tip of a knife. Apparently one 00:33:24.829 --> 00:33:28.599 of the seamen had been cleaning the compass and 00:33:28.599 --> 00:33:32.259 inadvertently broke off the tip of his knife 00:33:32.259 --> 00:33:38.119 and it remained lodged down in the compass. And 00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:40.180 he didn't think anything about it, but the problem 00:33:40.180 --> 00:33:43.359 was that the tip of the knife just took the compass 00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:49.539 off enough that in the fog the ship went on the 00:33:49.539 --> 00:33:57.089 rocks. I don't know what it may be down in the 00:33:57.089 --> 00:34:01.730 compass of your life today that threatens you. 00:34:03.009 --> 00:34:06.069 I don't know what it may be where you have refused 00:34:06.069 --> 00:34:09.309 God, you've made the wrong choice, but I can 00:34:09.309 --> 00:34:12.329 tell you that unless you face that and deal with 00:34:12.329 --> 00:34:15.230 it and confess it before God and come back to 00:34:15.230 --> 00:34:17.829 obey the Lord, you're going to hit the rock. 00:34:19.849 --> 00:34:23.210 Your marriage is going to hit the rock. Your 00:34:23.210 --> 00:34:29.500 future is going to hit the rock. Obedience brings 00:34:29.500 --> 00:34:34.260 blessing, but when we choose to disobey, it puts 00:34:34.260 --> 00:34:37.480 us on the wrong course and we end up in self 00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:42.219 -destruction. But what better time is there today 00:34:42.219 --> 00:34:45.019 than to do business with God and to get the compass 00:34:45.019 --> 00:34:48.500 cleaned up so that it's leading us in the right 00:34:48.500 --> 00:34:52.159 direction, in the direction of God's blessing. 00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:58.519 Let's pray together. Because you search your 00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:03.980 own heart about this. What is it? What is it 00:35:03.980 --> 00:35:06.739 that is the tip of a knife blade that's broken 00:35:06.739 --> 00:35:13.119 off down in there? What choice is leading you 00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:17.820 toward destruction? Whatever that is, I believe 00:35:17.820 --> 00:35:24.260 that God is reminding you of it right now. And 00:35:24.260 --> 00:35:28.039 I plead with you, in the name of Christ, Bring 00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:31.800 your life under the governance of His Word for 00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:36.340 your sake. Because if you will obey what God 00:35:36.340 --> 00:35:40.860 says, my friend, you will know blessing. But 00:35:40.860 --> 00:35:45.360 if you choose to disobey, destruction is surely 00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:51.559 ahead. I plead with you. Bring that attitude. 00:35:53.420 --> 00:35:57.869 Bring that lack of forgiveness. Bring that spirit 00:35:57.869 --> 00:36:04.369 that quenches the Lord. Bring that behavior, 00:36:04.730 --> 00:36:07.309 that secret thing that maybe nobody else knows 00:36:07.309 --> 00:36:15.570 about. That sin that you're playing with. Bring 00:36:15.570 --> 00:36:23.650 it to the Lord. And avoid the rock. Will you 00:36:23.650 --> 00:36:32.530 do that right now? Tell him so. Lord, I thank 00:36:32.530 --> 00:36:36.409 you that you are a faithful God who in love gives 00:36:36.409 --> 00:36:41.550 us instructions. And I pray that all of us will 00:36:41.550 --> 00:36:44.590 be able to leave here today, truly trusting you 00:36:44.590 --> 00:36:49.710 as the God who providently has arranged our circumstances. 00:36:52.349 --> 00:36:55.389 And with hearts that are seeking to obey you 00:36:55.389 --> 00:37:01.010 in your moral commandment. God, I pray that we 00:37:01.010 --> 00:37:03.550 will leave here moving in the direction of blessing 00:37:03.550 --> 00:37:10.869 and not trouble. In Jesus' name, Amen.