I don't have a lot of memories from my childhood.
Perhaps you're like me. And memories are few,
far between, and therefore precious. Some that
I do have, I wish I didn't have. I recall vividly
in one occasion, I can remember it as though
it happened just last year, but I was only probably
11 or 12 years old. When... Shortly after Mother's
Day, I was complaining to my mother about the
fact that there was no Children's Day, when children
should be honored. Later in life I found out
that in fact there is a day set aside to be Children's
Day. The truth is, every day is Children's Day.
They just don't realize it. One parent complained,
the first half of my life was ruined by my parents.
The last half is being ruined by my kids. I suppose
most parents can identify with that at least
one or two days a year. It's really impossible
for children in their younger years to understand
the sacrifice that their parents make for them.
Later, the appreciation usually comes. In a day
and culture when family is being discussed, redefined,
and in some quarters undermined, it would be
wise for us to hear a word from the author of
the family, the creator God, and to understand
some of God's wisdom regarding the family. That
is going to be our intent in the studies through
the month of February in the book of Proverbs.
God instituted the family as the basic unit of
human social order. He considers the family,
father, mother, children, to be so fundamental
and significant that when he gave the Ten Commandments
to Moses for the nation of Israel, the first
of the commandments dealing with the social order
addresses the family. He said, honor your father
and your mother, that your days may be prolonged
in the land which the Lord your God gives you.
The New Testament echoes that command in Ephesians
chapter 6 when it says, children obey your parents
in the Lord for this is right. And then that
command is quoted from Exodus. Following that,
it goes on to say, and fathers, do not provoke
your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord. What
does it mean to honor your parents? Well, the
New Testament interpretation of that by the apostle
is it means, at least in part, to obey your parents.
Children, obey your parents. But quickly the
apostle goes on to say, and fathers, do not exasperate
your children. In other words, children are to
honor their parents by obedience. On the other
hand, parents' actions should earn their respect.
It is possible for a parent to exasperate a child
by scolding, The nagging, not listening, not
keeping promises. The telling them to do something
but not doing it oneself. All of these things
to the extreme create frustration in a child
that makes it very difficult for that child then
to honor and obey the parent. As we look at God's
wisdom regarding the family, we need to understand
this, that if God's wisdom is followed and practiced,
it will reverse the decline of our culture. And
it will nearly eliminate most of the serious
social problems plaguing the nation today and
costing us billions of dollars. You say it's
as simple as that? That's exactly right. If we
were to follow what God says about the family,
it would reverse the trends in our nation, and
it would improve the economy of our nation. Because
a great deal of the economic loss that we have
is due to social problems that stem directly
back to the family's failure. God's wisdom is
very practical wisdom. It's wisdom that has an
impact not only upon the people in the family
unit itself, but upon the whole society. Whoever
we are, whatever our age, God's wisdom tells
us to honor our parents. How do we do that? Well,
it's practical. God tells us in the book of Proverbs
how we are to do it. The first hint is found
in chapter 13 and verse 1. Where it says a wise
son heeds his father's instruction But a mocker
does not listen to rebuke Chapter 15 and verse
5 a fool spurns his father's discipline But whoever
heeds correction shows prudence chapter 23 verse
22 Listen to your father who gave you life and
do not despise your mother when she is old. How
do we honor our parents? Number one, listen to
them. Listen with the ears and listen with the
heart. Listen with an attitude to obey. There
are not only exasperated children, there are
exasperated parents. And there are some parents
sitting in this room this morning who say, my
children will not listen to me. On the one hand,
it's no wonder they don't. For that's exactly
what they're taught to do by the television programs
that we allow their minds to be pickled with
daily. Nonetheless, this refusal to listen is
evidence of being a fool and a mocker if it becomes
a habit of the life. Mockers are so cocksure
of being right that they're contemptuous of anybody
who tries to tell them anything. They're unteachable.
Proverbs says it can be seen in their very face.
For chapter 30 verse 17 it speaks about the eye
that mocks a father. You can see it in the expressions
of the face of children. We need to understand
that the Mosaic Law took a serious view of rebellion.
Stubborn refusal to obey one's parents resulted
in what? Does anybody know? Execution. Capital
punishment was the penalty for disobedience to
parents. Deuteronomy 21 verses 18 to 21. Now
why was it so severe? I'll tell you why. It's
because what happens in the home eventually takes
place in society. And when there is not respect
for authority in the home, there will eventually
not be respect for authority in society and that
society will collapse. Therefore it is essential
that children learn to obey in the home. Listen
to your parents. That's the wisdom of God. That's
how you honor them. To rebel against parents,
writes Kenneth Aitken. is to rebel against God's
institution and design for order and responsibility
in society. Now frankly, there is no record of
God's command in Deuteronomy being literally
enforced in Israeli families of old. But God
at least made the point with his people of how
seriously he looks upon an attitude of rebellion.
How a child listens to his parents reflects how
he listens to God. There is a parallel that exists
between the two. Parents, if we do not teach
our children to listen to what we say to them,
then essentially we are saying they need not
listen to God either. And they won't. How do
we honor our parents? Number one, by listening
to them and taking heed to what they say. Does
that mean the parents are always right? Of course
not. There are no perfect parents. But it means
that we must listen to what they say, and unless
they contradict God, we're to obey them in the
Lord. For that's just plain right to do. And
furthermore, There's blessing promised to those
who will. Secondly, to honor our parents, Proverbs
tells us, chapter 30 verse 11, to speak well
of them. Actually, this verse is just the opposite.
It says it negatively, but I've chosen to state
it positively for my outline today. The verse
says, chapter 30 and verse 11. It says, there
are those who curse their fathers and do not
bless their mothers. This is in the list of people
described here whom God is not pleased with.
I remember a time in my teenage years when I
was so angry with my mother that as I went up
the stairs under my breath, I cursed her. And
immediately when I did, I was reminded of the
verse in Proverbs that says, whosoever curses
his mother or father will die. God smote my heart.
Now my mother didn't hear it. Or I would have
been in a lot of trouble. But God heard it. And
God convicted me immediately that what I had
said in my anger was foolish. To honor our parents.
We must not curse them, but speak well of them.
Actually, the word curse here means to seek them
harm by bringing a curse on them. You say, oh,
that's just, you know, that's hokey pokey stuff.
You can't really curse somebody. Just pagan people
believe in that. That's not true, friend. I talked
with a parent last week. in another city whose
two children were cursed by a Satanist who was
a plant in their church. And those children are
now in their 20s and 30s and only now has that
curse come to light so it can be canceled. Their
lives have been partially wrecked because of
a curse that was placed upon them by an occultic
power. It is very real. And what is warned about
here is placing a curse upon your parents. And
in fact, the penalty for doing this was also
execution in the Law of Moses. It is actually
the same penalty as blaspheming God because that
too was to be punished by execution. You see,
there is a parallel in the mind of God between
parent and himself. It's not that the parents
are God, but in the life of the child they stand
in the place of God in a very important respect.
And so a child is to speak well of his parents
and not to curse them. We need to measure our
words carefully. It's not just little children
who can say things that hurt a parent. When I
was a college student, I was home for a break.
And one evening, a missionary guest was in our
home. She was helping us do the dishes after
dinner. My mother was washing, she was drying,
and I was putting them away. And we were talking.
And up in the cupboard, I found some dust. Now
that, of course, does not happen in any cupboards
represented in this congregation. But on the
farm, it happens. There was dust up there to
which, in a rather calloused way, I called attention
to it in front of this missionary guest, not
realizing I had deeply wounded my mother. She
disappeared, I noticed, and the missionary friend
got next to me and said, I think you need to
go talk to your mom. Well, I found her out on
the porch crying, doing some other work, because
she'd been hurt. We don't have to be little children
to hurt our parents. Sometimes we can hurt them
when they're old. When they're feeble by the
things that we carelessly say Someone has said
make your words sweet because you may have to
eat them I've eaten enough of them in my life
that I have tried to learn to make them sweeter
Make it a practice to say good things About your
parents to bless them And I want to encourage
you to do that in some form that is permanent
It's wonderful to say it to them. It's wonderful
to pick up the telephone It's convenient to do
that and dial a few numbers and get them on the
other side of the country But there's advantage
to putting it down in writing Because then later
when it's too late to say those things Some of
you heard me say this before when it's too late
to say those things because they're gone You
have a permanent record of what you have said
to them and you know that you said some precious
things to them. You're glad that you had the
opportunity to share those thoughts while they
could enjoy them. Bless your parents. Speak well
of them. Do it frequently in writing. Number
three, to honor your parents, treat them respectfully.
Once again Proverbs puts it in the negative in
chapter 19 verse 26 Where it says he who robs
his father and drives out his mother is a son
who brings shame and disgrace He's warning here
about not dispossessing your parents Apparently
there were some in Israel in that day Who drove
their parents away from home to care for themselves
when they got old? They got in the way. They
were a burden to the family. And so they were
sent out to take care of themselves. Let's put
it in the positive and instead of saying don't
rob them, let's say treat them with respect.
Practice the golden rule with your parents. Show
them deference. Show them your affection. Here
the suggestion is that Even as we become adults
and our children grow old, there continues to
be some responsibility for their welfare when
you as the child find yourself in the place of
being a parent to your parents. He's not saying
here that it's always wrong to put your parent
in a senior center when you can't care for them.
There are some who have no choice but to care
for their parent because of health or for other
reasons by putting them in a place where they're
lovingly and well cared for. He's not arguing
against that, but he's saying that we ought to
take care of them in some appropriate reasonable
manner as they grow old. We need to treat them
with respect at every age to view them as our
friends and not our enemies. Some teenagers see
their parents as enemies, as those who are out
to restrict them and hold them down and they're
against them. The fact is there are very few
parents that have that kind of an attitude. There
may be some who are emotionally or mentally messed
up, but nearly all parents love their children
and whatever restrictions they place on them
is for their good. Fourthly, to honor your parents,
watch your company. Chapter 28, verse 7. He who
keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion
of glutton's disgraces his father. The English
version puts this instead of glutton, a companion
of good for nothing's disgraces his father. We
honor our parents by the kinds of friends that
we choose. You see, some friends can create friction
because parents often have an innate sense of
who's good for their child or who's wrong for
their child. Wrong friends will not only hurt
you, but possibly bring disgrace to your family.
You have a family name. Honor that family name.
Uphold it. Bring honor to it. Watch your company.
Now I can almost hear someone say, what about
parents who are abusive? Or who are otherwise
unworthy of honor? It is sad to say that there
are some parents who fall into those categories.
And they're not all un -Christian, by the way.
They're not all non -Christians, by the way.
I'm also sad to say. What do you do when a parent
has been abusive? What do you do when a parent
is not worthy of respect by what they've done?
Well, the answer is not simple to that question.
But in general, I want to say this. that God
wants us to honor our parents because of their
position, often despite their failures and even
their sins. We may not agree with them, we may
weep for what they have done to us or to others,
but nonetheless they are our parents and there
is a sense in which God wants us to honor that
position. Why should we do this? Why should we
honor our parents? Because it's protective. I'm
going to just quickly cover this. How is it protective?
Honoring parents in the first place protects
you from destructive consequences of rebellion.
Chapter 20, verse 20. Here's 20 -20 vision. If
a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will
be snuffed out in pitch darkness." That's one
of those verses that got to me that day I told
you about. By honoring our parents, we protect
ourselves from the destructive consequences of
rebellion. As a rural one who is a rebellious
child, grows up to experience a premature and
often tragic death. Because that rebellion in
childhood sets in motion certain lifestyles,
certain habits that cause the life to be ended
often tragically too soon. And so learning to
respect authority, learning to honor parents
protects us. from destructive consequences in
our lives. It also protects us from a life of
misery. A life of misery. Chapter one, verses
eight and nine. Listen, my son, to your father's
instruction. Do not forsake your mother's teaching.
They will be a garland to grace your neck and
a chain to your head and a chain to adorn your
neck. And skip down to verse 22. How long will
you simple ones love your simple ways? How long
will you mockers delight in mockery and fools
hate knowledge? If you had responded to my rebuke,
I would have poured out my heart to you, made
my thoughts known to you." And on he goes to
tell about the consequences of not listening,
of not respecting, of not honoring parents. It's
misery. The consequences of defiance, in early
life are carried over into adult years. Learning
to honor our parents saves us later in life from
remorse and regrets that cannot be corrected
and healed. Honoring our parents finally protects
you from God's judgment. Yes, God's judgment.
You see, it is a law of God that we honor our
parents. And if we do not respect the law of
God, we place ourselves under the judgment of
God. God compares rebellion against authority
to witchcraft. It is the heart of satanic sin
to be rebellious. So when we put that away and
we honor our parents, it protects us. from the
judgment of God. We place ourselves under God's
protective umbrella when we learn to submit to
His authority in our lives. Oh, we need to learn
the wisdom of God. We need to hear the wisdom
of God. We need to practice the wisdom of God
in our families. It will change our lives for
the better. And if enough of us do it, it will
change our culture for the better. But to do
that requires repentance. It requires a change
of thinking, maybe even a humbling on our part.
One of the happiest moments in my childhood memories
were those times when we gathered around the
evening supper table. We didn't call it dinner
on the farm. You ate dinner at noon. You ate
supper at night. We gathered around the supper
table. Mom, my brothers, my sister, later my
stepdad, my half -sister. I say those are happy
memories because when we got around that table,
whatever had happened during the day, whatever
squabbles there had been, and there were a few,
however severe the cob fights had been, You've
never been in the cob fight, have you? Man, you
get a wet cob and throw it at somebody, they'll
know what hit them. Great sport. Whatever had
happened to strain our relationships, when we
came to that table, we had to sit down together,
and it had to be over. And when we sat down there,
even though we had fought during the day like
siblings do, though we had disagreed with mom
or with our stepdad during the day, as happens
with children and parents, when we sat down at
the table, we were face to face with one another.
It was a time of settling those kinds of issues.
It was a time when we knew that we belonged to
each other. That's what the Lord's table is for
you and me. This is our Father's table. We come
to this table recognizing that we've failed.
We've sinned in many ways, even against others
in God's family, our own families. And we're
saying as we come to the table, we need to put
those things aside. We need to correct those
things because we belong to each other. And as
we sit down with the Father, at this table where
we remember His Son. Let's make it a happy memory.
Let's make it a blessed time, as sins are repented
of, where we give ourselves afresh to each other
and to our Lord. Let's pray. Now, Father, as
we partake of these elements, as we come to Your
table, to observe this Last Supper memorial that
Jesus gave us. We do it with a sense of sorrow
in our hearts for our sins. We do it with repentance
in our minds, changing our minds about what we've
done, the way we've lived, how we've treated
others, how we've treated you. Father, we come
to your table. confessing and we come receiving
receiving with grateful hearts the provision
you've made for us in your son thank you for
his broken body thank you for his shed blood
which was for us minister to us as we partake
around your table right now amen