WEBVTT 00:00:10.539 --> 00:00:12.880 Thanks to Paul and to the very creative team 00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:15.500 this morning for leading us in this time of worship. 00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:20.359 I'd like for you to stand right where you are 00:00:20.359 --> 00:00:22.899 and greet a friend near you and perhaps even 00:00:22.899 --> 00:00:25.739 meet a new friend. Would you do that? Let everyone 00:00:25.739 --> 00:00:41.859 know that we're glad they're here today. Yesterday 00:00:41.859 --> 00:00:45.520 we had some teams from our wanna clubs who participated 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:50.679 in a Bible quiz and we want to congratulate the 00:00:50.679 --> 00:00:54.399 four teams who did so and especially the pioneers 00:00:54.399 --> 00:00:57.579 and the pals who came in first in their contests. 00:00:58.539 --> 00:01:00.280 And you will notice that there are four roses 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:04.040 at the organ today. They're in honor of four 00:01:04.040 --> 00:01:06.359 new believers who've come to faith in Christ, 00:01:06.560 --> 00:01:08.680 the witness of people in our church family in 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:11.840 the last two weeks. They are Erin, Christina, 00:01:12.219 --> 00:01:16.459 Melissa, and Hai Vu. Would you pray with me, 00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:20.239 please? Father, we give thanks to you for the 00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:23.719 fruit of witness and for these four who've come 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:27.120 to faith in your Son. Our prayer is that they 00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:32.359 will grow and be nurtured and that they, too, 00:01:32.599 --> 00:01:34.879 would come to bear fruit as missionaries for 00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:38.280 the Lord Jesus Christ in those places where they 00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:42.060 live and work. Father, we pray this morning for 00:01:42.060 --> 00:01:46.439 Rod who continues to battle disease. We ask that 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:49.939 you bring a measure of health to him even this 00:01:49.939 --> 00:01:55.340 day and new strength. Lord, you know the concerns 00:01:55.340 --> 00:01:58.239 and burdens of every one of us as we gather and 00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:01.379 we bring those to you because you are our friend 00:02:01.379 --> 00:02:05.620 and you care about us. We give thanks for that 00:02:05.620 --> 00:02:10.319 friendship and that love. that characterizes 00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:14.159 your concern for each of us. And now would you 00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:17.520 minister to our hearts by your Holy Spirit as 00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:20.599 we study your word together about friends. In 00:02:20.599 --> 00:02:27.900 Jesus' name, amen. I invite you to open the Word 00:02:27.900 --> 00:02:33.780 of God with me today to Proverbs chapter 17 and 00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:38.939 verse 17 where it says, A friend loves at all 00:02:38.939 --> 00:02:44.439 times and a brother is born for adversity. The 00:02:44.439 --> 00:02:47.919 most serious form of poverty is to be without 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:52.719 a friend. Our greatest wealth is measured not 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:59.360 in terms of riches, but relationships. Friends 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:03.139 are like socks. Everybody should have at least 00:03:03.139 --> 00:03:07.460 a few good ones. There are different kinds of 00:03:07.460 --> 00:03:11.639 friends, of course. There are superficial friends 00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:14.979 and deep friends, true friends and false friends. 00:03:16.419 --> 00:03:18.379 I think of the prodigal son and the friends that 00:03:18.379 --> 00:03:20.680 he made while he was on his journey away from 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.240 his father. When his money ran out, so did his 00:03:23.240 --> 00:03:26.580 friends, and he was left alone in the pig pen. 00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:30.960 Someone has written, true friends are like diamonds, 00:03:31.300 --> 00:03:35.469 precious and rare. False friends are like autumn 00:03:35.469 --> 00:03:41.710 leaves found everywhere. We treasure, and rightly 00:03:41.710 --> 00:03:46.389 so, those who are our true friends. God has a 00:03:46.389 --> 00:03:48.590 good deal to say about friendships, especially 00:03:48.590 --> 00:03:51.590 in the book of Proverbs. The wise person listens 00:03:51.590 --> 00:03:56.770 to God's counsel regarding friendships. In the 00:03:56.770 --> 00:03:59.770 first place, we learn from God's counsel that 00:03:59.770 --> 00:04:04.250 a true friend sticks close, even when it's tough. 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:11.159 A friend loves at all times. And chapter 18 verse 00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:15.639 24 says, a man of many companions may come to 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.579 ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer 00:04:18.579 --> 00:04:23.139 than a brother. A friend sticks close, a true 00:04:23.139 --> 00:04:28.740 friend. Even when the times are tough, this word 00:04:28.740 --> 00:04:33.120 stick in chapter 18 verse 24 is the same. Hebrew 00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:38.139 word as used in Ruth chapter 1 verse 14 of Ruth 00:04:38.139 --> 00:04:42.680 clinging to Naomi when Naomi sought to send her 00:04:42.680 --> 00:04:46.980 back to her homeland. She persisted and clung 00:04:46.980 --> 00:04:49.839 to her mother -in -law and desired to be with 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:53.779 her. Your people will be my people, she said. 00:04:53.899 --> 00:04:59.550 Your God will be my God. The day of trouble is 00:04:59.550 --> 00:05:02.009 the day that tells you who your real friends 00:05:02.009 --> 00:05:06.910 are. You remember, I'm sure, Jonathan and David. 00:05:08.329 --> 00:05:10.430 David, who would be the future king of Israel, 00:05:10.470 --> 00:05:12.709 and Jonathan, who was the son of the current 00:05:12.709 --> 00:05:17.589 king whose name was Saul. It says in the 18th 00:05:17.589 --> 00:05:20.290 chapter of 1 Samuel that their hearts were knit 00:05:20.290 --> 00:05:25.350 together. Their hearts were bound together like 00:05:25.350 --> 00:05:29.550 a bundle of wood is bound tightly And they became 00:05:29.550 --> 00:05:35.790 dear friends. They loved each other truly The 00:05:35.790 --> 00:05:38.550 day came when Saul was very jealous of David 00:05:38.550 --> 00:05:41.569 and sought to put David to death by a number 00:05:41.569 --> 00:05:45.750 of different means Jonathan's friendship was 00:05:45.750 --> 00:05:49.699 so strong with David and he believed so deeply 00:05:49.699 --> 00:05:53.860 in David's call of God to be the next king that 00:05:53.860 --> 00:05:57.100 Jonathan was willing to risk his relationship 00:05:57.100 --> 00:06:01.240 with his father for the sake of his friend and 00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:06.399 nearly got himself killed by his own dad because 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:10.620 he stuck up for his friend David who was in trouble. 00:06:13.740 --> 00:06:16.620 When David heard the news that Jonathan had been 00:06:16.620 --> 00:06:19.519 killed on Mount Gilboa with his father Saul, 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:26.459 David wept. Yes, he wept for Saul, the man who 00:06:26.459 --> 00:06:30.160 had tried to kill him. He was loyal even to the 00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:34.279 one who became his enemy. But at the end of his 00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:41.509 lamentation, David wept for Jonathan. because 00:06:41.509 --> 00:06:44.790 he was going to miss this man who was the dearest 00:06:44.790 --> 00:06:52.329 of all of his friends. A true friend sticks close 00:06:52.329 --> 00:06:56.750 even when it's tough. Some friends are like your 00:06:56.750 --> 00:06:59.430 shadow. You see them only when the sun shines. 00:07:00.990 --> 00:07:06.149 But a true friend is there on cloudy days. A 00:07:06.149 --> 00:07:08.449 little boy defined a friend as somebody who knows 00:07:08.449 --> 00:07:16.160 all about you and likes you just the same. Secondly, 00:07:16.339 --> 00:07:19.420 we learn that a true friend tells you the truth 00:07:19.420 --> 00:07:23.779 even when it hurts. That's what God says. Chapter 00:07:23.779 --> 00:07:31.040 27 of Proverbs in verse 6. Wounds from a friend 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:35.860 can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:41.019 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, says the 00:07:41.019 --> 00:07:45.500 King James Version. You know, regardless of what 00:07:45.500 --> 00:07:47.839 happens to you, there are some friends who knew 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:52.860 it would. Isn't that right? A friend loves you 00:07:52.860 --> 00:07:56.459 enough to risk that relationship to be honest 00:07:56.459 --> 00:08:02.639 with you. Treasure that person. Every one of 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:06.740 us needs at least one honest critic who loves 00:08:06.740 --> 00:08:09.920 us and who is willing to take the time and energy 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:14.639 necessary to prove that love by correcting us 00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:20.579 when we need it. A true friend tells you the 00:08:20.579 --> 00:08:26.199 truth even when it hurts. Has there been some 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:28.319 friend who has hurt you in recent days and you've 00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:33.659 become angry? Understand that that friend did 00:08:33.659 --> 00:08:37.960 you a favor. if he or she told you the truth. 00:08:41.700 --> 00:08:43.779 It might be wise to say at this point that before 00:08:43.779 --> 00:08:48.259 we go telling the truth to our friends, it is 00:08:48.259 --> 00:08:52.259 wise for us to invest enough time in them that 00:08:52.259 --> 00:08:54.840 they know that when we speak the truth to them, 00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:58.419 we're speaking it in love. The Bible says we 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:03.309 are to speak the truth in love. A critical spirit 00:09:03.309 --> 00:09:07.649 is not a spiritual gift, but loving criticism 00:09:07.649 --> 00:09:13.809 can be valuable as a contribution to someone 00:09:13.809 --> 00:09:18.049 that you really care about. As you deal with 00:09:18.049 --> 00:09:20.110 someone else's faults, though, deal with them 00:09:20.110 --> 00:09:25.049 gently as if they were your own. There's an old 00:09:25.049 --> 00:09:30.500 Arab proverb that says, is one to whom we may 00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:34.759 pour out all the contents of our hearts, chaff 00:09:34.759 --> 00:09:38.419 and grain together, knowing that the gentlest 00:09:38.419 --> 00:09:41.919 of hands will take and sift it, keep what is 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:44.940 worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness 00:09:44.940 --> 00:09:49.960 blow the rest away." All of us need a friend 00:09:49.960 --> 00:09:55.899 like that. Third, God's counsel to us is this, 00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:00.360 a true friend shapes your character. even when 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:04.399 it's grating. Do you have a friend who grates 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:08.899 on you? Please remember that as that friendship 00:10:08.899 --> 00:10:15.539 is fulfilled, it will shape your character. Chapter 00:10:15.539 --> 00:10:20.820 27, verse 17 says, As iron sharpens iron, so 00:10:20.820 --> 00:10:26.259 one man sharpens another. Interaction with other 00:10:26.259 --> 00:10:30.700 people is crucial. to your maturity as a human 00:10:30.700 --> 00:10:35.059 being and as a Christian. God has made us so 00:10:35.059 --> 00:10:40.279 that we do not develop living in cocoons. We 00:10:40.279 --> 00:10:45.860 need other people. And just as iron moving across 00:10:45.860 --> 00:10:51.419 iron causes it eventually to be sharpened, so 00:10:51.419 --> 00:10:54.379 one friend rubbing up against another friend, 00:10:54.600 --> 00:10:57.259 interacting with him over weeks and months and 00:10:57.259 --> 00:11:02.600 years sharpens his friend. An exchange of views, 00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:08.460 even a healthy disagreement, sharpens us so that 00:11:08.460 --> 00:11:11.399 we are better men and women for that inner change. 00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:16.759 That person is your friend who pushes you nearer 00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:21.440 to God. But the process of that can be sometimes 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:25.399 grating. Do you enjoy the sound of fingernails 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:29.620 on a blackboard? Do you enjoy the sound of iron 00:11:29.620 --> 00:11:34.340 rubbing across iron? Sometimes that gets to us. 00:11:34.779 --> 00:11:39.080 It can be unpleasant, but be glad for those relationships 00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:42.659 where you don't agree on everything. Where you 00:11:42.659 --> 00:11:46.940 don't, where you always agree. Where you always 00:11:46.940 --> 00:11:51.350 agree, one of you is unnecessary. And so be glad 00:11:51.350 --> 00:11:54.330 that there is some difference. It is that difference 00:11:54.330 --> 00:11:58.730 as you interact in a healthy and mature way that 00:11:58.730 --> 00:12:03.129 causes your character to be sharpened. Pick the 00:12:03.129 --> 00:12:04.990 kind of friends that are going to sharpen you 00:12:04.990 --> 00:12:08.490 well. Don't pick the friends that are always 00:12:08.490 --> 00:12:12.309 going to tell you what you want to hear. Now, 00:12:12.370 --> 00:12:15.029 the darker side of this can be found in the New 00:12:15.029 --> 00:12:18.620 Testament of 1 Corinthians 15. Where it says 00:12:18.620 --> 00:12:22.019 bad company corrupts good morals. 1st Corinthians 00:12:22.019 --> 00:12:28.120 15 33 We need to beware of the wrong kinds of 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:33.700 friends Because just as a true friend Will sharpen 00:12:33.700 --> 00:12:38.039 our character in a positive sense The wrong kind 00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:44.779 of friends will dull us in a negative sense People 00:12:44.779 --> 00:12:48.539 are judged we hear by the company they keep. 00:12:49.940 --> 00:12:52.360 It's also true that people are judged by the 00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:56.960 company they don't keep. Don't keep the kind 00:12:56.960 --> 00:13:00.480 of friends that will push you away from God. 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.419 That will cause your character to be dulled instead 00:13:05.419 --> 00:13:10.519 of sharpened. Pick your friends well. Because 00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:14.480 we will talk and we will think like the person 00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:20.059 that we listen to the most. A true friend shapes 00:13:20.059 --> 00:13:25.139 your character even when it's grating. And fourth, 00:13:25.299 --> 00:13:29.200 a true friend deserves your care even when it's 00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:33.820 understood. Chapter 27 again in verse 10. Do 00:13:33.820 --> 00:13:38.559 not forsake your friend and the friend of your 00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:42.070 father. And do not go to your brother's house 00:13:42.070 --> 00:13:44.330 when disaster strikes you. Better a neighbor 00:13:44.330 --> 00:13:47.730 nearby than a brother far away. Be wise, my son, 00:13:47.769 --> 00:13:51.409 and bring joy to my heart." What is he saying 00:13:51.409 --> 00:13:54.110 here? He is saying that we ought to not forsake 00:13:54.110 --> 00:13:59.830 our friends or our father's friends. We need 00:13:59.830 --> 00:14:03.629 to nurture them. They deserve our care, these 00:14:03.629 --> 00:14:08.450 true friendships. We think, well, he knows. She 00:14:08.450 --> 00:14:12.330 knows that we're friends, and that may well be, 00:14:12.789 --> 00:14:17.029 but God counsels us to take care to our friendships, 00:14:17.769 --> 00:14:20.409 and not our own personally, but also those that 00:14:20.409 --> 00:14:24.250 belong to our broader family. Don't take them 00:14:24.250 --> 00:14:29.470 for granted. Friendship is too precious to treat 00:14:29.470 --> 00:14:34.549 it that way. It needs nurture. Give it nurture. 00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:40.759 Dr. Samuel Johnson said, a man, sir, should keep 00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:49.879 his friendships in constant repair. Is there 00:14:49.879 --> 00:14:52.179 a friendship in your life that today is beginning 00:14:52.179 --> 00:14:56.960 to fray at the edge? Not because you necessarily 00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:00.539 wanted to, but simply because you haven't invested 00:15:00.539 --> 00:15:03.919 time or concern in that friendship for a while? 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:10.960 If that is a true friend, I urge you to go back 00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:15.440 and to knit together that fraying. To invest 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:19.019 the kind of time and concern from your heart 00:15:19.019 --> 00:15:21.399 that is necessary so that friendship doesn't 00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:27.720 fail. True friends are too much to be treasured 00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:31.600 to allow that to happen. It requires effort. 00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:36.000 It costs you something. But true friendships 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:39.639 do not grow on their own. They need to be tended. 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:45.919 How do you preserve friendships? Well, let me 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:49.779 state it very succinctly in five quick sentences 00:15:49.779 --> 00:15:53.299 that we'll find mentioned in the book of Proverbs 00:15:53.299 --> 00:15:57.639 or suggested in the book of Proverbs. To preserve 00:15:57.639 --> 00:16:00.960 your friendships in the first place, don't be 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:16.450 a nagger. Chapter 17 in verse 9. He who covers 00:16:16.450 --> 00:16:20.389 over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats 00:16:20.389 --> 00:16:24.909 the matter separates close friends. This verse 00:16:24.909 --> 00:16:28.070 might be understood in a number of ways, but 00:16:28.070 --> 00:16:29.889 as I look at it this morning what it's saying 00:16:29.889 --> 00:16:35.340 is that if we continually repeat something in 00:16:35.340 --> 00:16:39.759 a nagging sort of way, it causes our friendships 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:44.659 to become strained. Friends who can hold their 00:16:44.659 --> 00:16:47.500 tongues rarely have any trouble holding their 00:16:47.500 --> 00:16:52.580 friends. If you want to preserve your friendships 00:16:52.580 --> 00:16:55.120 and nurture them and care for them, don't be 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:59.190 a nagger. Somebody has said horse sense is what 00:16:59.190 --> 00:17:03.610 keeps you from becoming a nag. So use a little 00:17:03.610 --> 00:17:08.670 bit of it in your friendships. Secondly, don't 00:17:08.670 --> 00:17:12.690 be a gossip. If you want to preserve your friendships, 00:17:12.710 --> 00:17:20.369 don't be a gossip. Chapter 25 and verse 8. Do 00:17:20.369 --> 00:17:24.349 not bring hastily to court What you have seen 00:17:24.349 --> 00:17:26.970 with your eyes, do not bring hastily to court. 00:17:27.650 --> 00:17:29.950 For what will you do in the end if your neighbor 00:17:29.950 --> 00:17:33.349 puts you to shame? If you argue your case with 00:17:33.349 --> 00:17:36.230 your neighbor, do not betray another man's confidence. 00:17:36.950 --> 00:17:39.349 For he who hears it may shame you, and you will 00:17:39.349 --> 00:17:43.990 never lose your bad reputation." Salma's talking 00:17:43.990 --> 00:17:48.049 here about court kind of situation, about litigation. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:51.099 But you'll notice right in the middle of it is 00:17:51.099 --> 00:17:54.359 this bit of advice that says do not betray another 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:59.799 man's confidence Don't be a gossip Somebody has 00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:02.980 said there are three kinds of gossips There's 00:18:02.980 --> 00:18:07.960 the vest button gossip who's always popping off 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:12.799 There's the vacuum type gossip who's always picking 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:17.359 up dirt and There's the liniment type gossip 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:22.619 who's always rubbing it in. Beware of being any 00:18:22.619 --> 00:18:29.559 kind of a gossip. Some pastor was going to preach 00:18:29.559 --> 00:18:33.299 on that subject in the bulletin. There was the 00:18:33.299 --> 00:18:35.640 order of service, and you know how it usually 00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:37.759 looks, and down toward the bottom of the service 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:42.980 it said, message colon gossip. Invitation hymn, 00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:50.150 I love to tell the story. If you want to preserve 00:18:50.150 --> 00:18:55.329 friendships, don't be a gossip. If your friends 00:18:55.329 --> 00:18:57.390 misquote you, think how much worse it might have 00:18:57.390 --> 00:18:59.769 been if they had quoted you correctly. Number 00:18:59.769 --> 00:19:06.490 three, don't be a pest. Chapter 25, verses 16 00:19:06.490 --> 00:19:13.470 and 17. If you find honey, eat just enough. Too 00:19:13.470 --> 00:19:18.019 much of it and you will vomit. Seldom set foot 00:19:18.019 --> 00:19:21.619 in your neighbor's house too much of you and 00:19:21.619 --> 00:19:25.279 he will hate you. Those two verses go together. 00:19:26.680 --> 00:19:32.220 Don't be a pest. Too much of anything can be 00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:35.200 repulsive. Even something good like honey or 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:38.960 candy. Don't make yourself repugnant to your 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:44.220 friend. Don't be a pest. Somebody said familiarity 00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:48.400 breeds contempt. And another person replied, 00:19:48.539 --> 00:19:51.380 yes, but only with contemptible things and contemptible 00:19:51.380 --> 00:19:55.559 people. But the fact is that even a pleasant 00:19:55.559 --> 00:20:00.920 person can try another's patience when he's pesty. 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:05.160 There was a customer who was in a restaurant 00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.880 and repeatedly asked the waitress for her telephone 00:20:07.880 --> 00:20:12.980 number. Finally, she gave him a number. So when 00:20:12.980 --> 00:20:14.960 he got away from there, he called the number. 00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.420 And the person answered, hello, pest control 00:20:17.420 --> 00:20:25.319 service. Don't be a pest to preserve your friendships. 00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:31.039 Learn when you are welcome and when you're not 00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:34.819 welcome. Be sensitive to other people's needs 00:20:34.819 --> 00:20:39.779 and their feelings at a given moment. I was talking 00:20:39.779 --> 00:20:41.960 a few days ago with a youth pastor, not the one 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:44.500 from our church, but one from a church in another 00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:48.059 part of the city. And he was telling me that 00:20:48.059 --> 00:20:52.059 after a long and hard day dealing with his ministry, 00:20:52.619 --> 00:20:55.980 he finally got home at 8 .30 at night, just in 00:20:55.980 --> 00:20:59.619 time to kiss his kids as they were going to bed. 00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.740 And he collapsed on the sofa with his wife in 00:21:03.740 --> 00:21:07.650 the living room and the doorbell rang. And he 00:21:07.650 --> 00:21:10.190 went to the door and one of his teenagers said, 00:21:10.630 --> 00:21:15.970 am I too late? Well, he said, I was sorely tempted 00:21:15.970 --> 00:21:20.029 to say, you certainly are. But instead, he let 00:21:20.029 --> 00:21:24.710 him in. My counsel to him was, sometime you need 00:21:24.710 --> 00:21:30.730 to help your teens understand when it's too late. 00:21:32.289 --> 00:21:36.740 There is a time to say no to people. We are wise 00:21:36.740 --> 00:21:40.400 in our friendships if we learn when no should 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:44.740 be said and we don't press it that far. When 00:21:44.740 --> 00:21:47.779 we don't allow ourselves to become pests to others. 00:21:49.099 --> 00:21:51.299 I can remember a period of my life before I was 00:21:51.299 --> 00:21:54.339 married when I was working as an intern in the 00:21:54.339 --> 00:21:59.480 church. And I had lots of time on my hands because 00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:02.940 of my work. I was not married, had few responsibilities 00:22:02.940 --> 00:22:07.200 and I remember there was a couple in our church 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:10.640 who invited myself and my fellow intern over 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:15.000 to their home fairly frequently. We made pests 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:17.740 of ourselves. Now they were kind enough not to 00:22:17.740 --> 00:22:20.940 tell us that, but as I look back now I can see 00:22:20.940 --> 00:22:25.160 that we really stretched our friendship. Beware 00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:29.640 of that. God's counsel fourthly is, if you want 00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:31.779 to preserve your friendships, don't be a tease. 00:22:33.150 --> 00:22:35.630 Now that's hard for some of us because we enjoy 00:22:35.630 --> 00:22:39.049 teasing. But it's sort of like honey too. A little 00:22:39.049 --> 00:22:43.349 of it goes a long way. Chapter 26, verses 18 00:22:43.349 --> 00:22:49.150 and 19. Like a madman shooting firebrands or 00:22:49.150 --> 00:22:52.470 deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor 00:22:52.470 --> 00:22:56.609 and says, I was only joking. Do you know anybody 00:22:56.609 --> 00:23:02.849 like that at the office? Don't be a tease. Don't 00:23:02.849 --> 00:23:04.930 do something, say, oh, I'm just pretending, we're 00:23:04.930 --> 00:23:09.450 just having fun, just a joke. A person like that 00:23:09.450 --> 00:23:14.369 is like someone who's got a mental problem and 00:23:14.369 --> 00:23:16.150 out in the middle of the street with a rifle 00:23:16.150 --> 00:23:21.930 or a bow and arrow to use the term here. Dr. 00:23:22.150 --> 00:23:25.750 Robert Alden said, a humor is a delightful gift 00:23:25.750 --> 00:23:29.190 from God, but it can be misused. The man who 00:23:29.190 --> 00:23:32.069 deceives his neighbor and says he was only joking 00:23:32.069 --> 00:23:35.230 is like a crazy person with a deadly weapon. 00:23:36.029 --> 00:23:38.369 Even if this man was just playing a trick it 00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:41.750 was hardly funny. Good humor does not laugh at 00:23:41.750 --> 00:23:46.789 some other man's discomfort. The prankster here 00:23:46.789 --> 00:23:50.890 shows insensitivity as well as poor moral judgment. 00:23:53.930 --> 00:23:56.750 There have been some friendships broken up because 00:23:56.750 --> 00:24:03.960 teasing. that went too far. A fifth bit of advice 00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.539 from God regarding preserving friendships is 00:24:06.539 --> 00:24:13.700 found in chapter 27 verse 14. If a man loudly 00:24:13.700 --> 00:24:16.839 blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it 00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:23.319 will be taken as a curse. Advice number five, 00:24:23.420 --> 00:24:30.619 don't be a nuisance. Learn to be timely, even 00:24:30.619 --> 00:24:35.059 in your praise of another person. He writes of 00:24:35.059 --> 00:24:37.700 a man who gets up early in the morning and goes 00:24:37.700 --> 00:24:40.799 outside his neighbor's house and praises and 00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:44.359 blesses him for all the good he's done, but his 00:24:44.359 --> 00:24:47.660 neighbor's trying to sleep. And as far as the 00:24:47.660 --> 00:24:52.579 neighbor's concerned, it's a curse. We need to 00:24:52.579 --> 00:24:54.700 be careful we don't become a nuisance to others. 00:24:54.759 --> 00:24:58.589 Even compliments. given at inappropriate moments 00:24:58.589 --> 00:25:03.289 may cause embarrassment and put stress and strain 00:25:03.289 --> 00:25:18.789 on a relationship. Do you have friends? Likely 00:25:18.789 --> 00:25:20.829 in your whole life you'll have not more than 00:25:20.829 --> 00:25:27.289 half a dozen, maybe ten, true friends. We all 00:25:27.289 --> 00:25:31.849 have many acquaintances, but oh how we treasure 00:25:31.849 --> 00:25:37.309 those who are friends. Do you have many friends? 00:25:39.750 --> 00:25:43.789 I've heard that complaint occasionally from people. 00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:47.170 I say, pastor, I just don't have any friends. 00:25:49.900 --> 00:25:52.180 When you hear that complaint from someone the 00:25:52.180 --> 00:25:54.880 first thing to do is simply to say to that one 00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:58.700 making that complaint Why do you think that is? 00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:05.220 Because sometimes we don't have friends due to 00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:10.839 our own problems We haven't taken the advice 00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:13.160 of God's Word that we've looked at this morning 00:26:13.160 --> 00:26:15.759 and as a result of that people stay away from 00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:23.380 us They hold us off at arm's length. We need 00:26:23.380 --> 00:26:26.900 to examine ourselves first if we say that we 00:26:26.900 --> 00:26:30.779 have no friends. Before we place the blame on 00:26:30.779 --> 00:26:37.779 them, let's look inside. But perhaps the better 00:26:37.779 --> 00:26:41.259 question this morning is not, do you have friends? 00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:46.420 The better question may be, are you a friend? 00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.599 One of the variants of Proverbs 18 24 variant 00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:55.759 readings is he who would have friends must show 00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:00.720 himself friendly That's the way the King James 00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:05.940 Version puts it To have a friend you must be 00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:13.839 one and so The better question is are you a friend 00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:19.000 to another person? Because one who proves to 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.700 be a true friend will usually find that that 00:27:21.700 --> 00:27:26.480 action is reciprocal The challenge I want to 00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:30.440 give to you is to be a friend Don't go out and 00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:33.220 look for people to be your friends go out determined 00:27:33.220 --> 00:27:37.380 in your heart to be friends with someone else 00:27:37.380 --> 00:27:41.079 Because you will find that as you do that and 00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:45.000 do it with the counsel of God's Word You will 00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:48.730 find cadre of friends who will eventually surround 00:27:48.730 --> 00:27:54.289 you as well. Sometimes we make the mistake of 00:27:54.289 --> 00:27:56.390 thinking that our friends aren't meeting our 00:27:56.390 --> 00:28:00.470 needs. My friends just aren't coming through 00:28:00.470 --> 00:28:03.309 like they ought to. I must need better friends. 00:28:06.349 --> 00:28:08.470 Well, the first question is, do I need to be 00:28:08.470 --> 00:28:13.670 a better friend? The second question is, am I 00:28:13.670 --> 00:28:18.359 expecting of my friends what no friend can deliver. 00:28:22.980 --> 00:28:25.700 Sometimes we allow ourselves to become bottomless 00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:30.559 pits of emotional needs. And we expect people 00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:33.259 around us to keep throwing themselves into the 00:28:33.259 --> 00:28:40.019 pit, but it never gets filled up. Sometimes we 00:28:40.019 --> 00:28:43.859 need emotional healing. Because of hurts and 00:28:43.859 --> 00:28:46.059 pains that we've experienced in the past and 00:28:46.059 --> 00:28:49.099 the fact is that we need to seek that healing 00:28:49.099 --> 00:28:53.200 Before we expect our friends to really meet our 00:28:53.200 --> 00:29:01.000 needs But beyond that Ultimately, there is only 00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:05.299 one friend who can truly meet our needs and that 00:29:05.299 --> 00:29:10.630 is the Lord Jesus Christ He says to us, I do 00:29:10.630 --> 00:29:12.829 not call you servants, because a servant does 00:29:12.829 --> 00:29:16.369 not know what his master will do, but I call 00:29:16.369 --> 00:29:23.930 you friends. Can you imagine this? That the King 00:29:23.930 --> 00:29:28.210 of the universe, the Lord of glory, Jesus Christ, 00:29:29.029 --> 00:29:32.250 looks you square in the eyes and he says, my 00:29:32.250 --> 00:29:39.450 friend. He is the one who truly can meet your 00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:43.809 needs He is the one who truly sticks closer than 00:29:43.809 --> 00:29:47.950 a brother Because you see Jesus Christ knows 00:29:47.950 --> 00:29:51.789 the worst about every one of us and he loves 00:29:51.789 --> 00:29:57.349 us still and When we have that moment of great 00:29:57.349 --> 00:30:03.349 need in our lives he is always there Our human 00:30:03.349 --> 00:30:08.950 friends can fail us it is true But Jesus never 00:30:08.950 --> 00:30:14.829 fails. Is he your true friend today because he 00:30:14.829 --> 00:30:19.529 is your Lord and Savior? I hope so. And if he's 00:30:19.529 --> 00:30:23.210 not, will you trust him today to be the Savior 00:30:23.210 --> 00:30:25.829 of your soul and understand that as he comes 00:30:25.829 --> 00:30:30.109 into your life, he comes in to be your true friend. 00:30:31.009 --> 00:30:34.559 And he will act as the true friend. as the book 00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:38.980 of Proverbs describes him. Let's pray together. 00:30:41.440 --> 00:30:43.519 Do you know the Lord Jesus this morning as your 00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:49.099 Savior and Lord? Is He your best and true friend? 00:30:52.700 --> 00:30:56.579 The songwriter said He was. He said Jesus is 00:30:56.579 --> 00:31:01.480 all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all. 00:31:04.359 --> 00:31:09.740 Do you have friendship with Jesus? Can you sing 00:31:09.740 --> 00:31:14.539 that hymn? What a friend I have in Jesus, all 00:31:14.539 --> 00:31:22.980 my sins and griefs to bear. My friend, let Him 00:31:22.980 --> 00:31:26.819 come into your life today. Let Him be the Lord 00:31:26.819 --> 00:31:32.779 of your life. Let your life focus on Him. Let 00:31:32.779 --> 00:31:37.500 Him be all to you. Let Him be the world to you. 00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:42.160 Believe me, He'll be a friend who will stick. 00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:48.700 Lord Jesus, we give thanks because You have proven 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:52.359 Your friendship. You have said, greater love 00:31:52.359 --> 00:31:55.079 has no man than this that He laid down His life 00:31:55.079 --> 00:31:59.339 for another. You have laid down Your life for 00:31:59.339 --> 00:32:04.579 us. What love, what friendship there is in that. 00:32:06.019 --> 00:32:08.200 Thank you for your presence. Thank you for your 00:32:08.200 --> 00:32:15.279 desire to meet our needs. Thank you that you 00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.779 desire to be worshipped. And you desire to be 00:32:19.779 --> 00:32:25.619 our all. May we today not only receive for our 00:32:25.619 --> 00:32:30.630 needs from you. But give to you the praise and 00:32:30.630 --> 00:32:34.450 the glory that place of preeminence and lordship 00:32:34.450 --> 00:32:39.490 in our lives that you deserve May we experience 00:32:39.490 --> 00:32:42.829 that depth of friendship Lord Jesus that you 00:32:42.829 --> 00:32:46.009 would want us to know and enjoy in the pilgrimage 00:32:46.009 --> 00:32:48.730 of life Amen