1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 The National Day of Prayer, I want to thank those of you who made it over there to San 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,920 Jose as part of that observance sometime during the day. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,840 As a follow-up to that, we're going to be establishing at the request of the leadership 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:19,280 of this organization, the National Day of Prayer, we're going to be having a prayer 5 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:25,840 meeting in our church every Thursday from now through the election at 12 o'clock. 6 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,640 We invite you to come if you're free to join us at that time. 7 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,280 It will be in room 219. 8 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,480 It will start this coming Thursday. 9 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:37,240 It's important to be a prayer for our nation. 10 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:41,080 There was a wedding that was planned for the end of the morning worship service. 11 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:45,560 I don't know if you've ever been in that kind of a wedding or not, but it happens occasionally, 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,080 especially in rural areas. 13 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,800 The pastor finished his sermon, they had the invitation, he gave the benediction, and then 14 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:59,640 he had a mental lapse, and he could not remember the names of the bride and the groom. 15 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,160 Have you ever been there? 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,560 An embarrassing point like that. 17 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:09,600 And so he just on the spur of the moment said, well, would those wanting to get married please 18 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,240 come forward? 19 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:17,640 And four widows, three widowers, two single women, and one partridge in a pear tree all 20 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,280 came forward to be married. 21 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:27,080 There was a pastor who was talking about marriage saying, this is God's plan. 22 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,120 You can't improve on God's plan. 23 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:34,400 Some single person at the back stood up and said, pastor, I don't want to improve on it, 24 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,880 I just want to get in on it. 25 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,680 Well, most people want to be married. 26 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:48,000 But you know, there's something worse than wishing you were married. 27 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,240 And that's wishing you what? 28 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,880 Wishing you weren't. 29 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:58,160 In a place like Corinth, and we're studying the book of 1 Corinthians in the service, 30 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,720 in a place like Corinth, there were all kinds of marriage problems. 31 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,420 You can just imagine. 32 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:09,960 With the kind of immorality that the city was well known for. 33 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:16,320 Relationships, families were struggling, people were split up. 34 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,480 All kinds of questions. 35 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:25,680 And the people in Corinth had written to Paul in a letter we don't have preserved for us, 36 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:34,640 to ask some questions specifically related to marriage and the home. 37 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:39,640 And so as we come to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we find Paul's response to this. 38 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:45,780 I invite you to open your Bible as we read beginning in verse 1. 39 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:52,360 This is sometimes a chapter people avoid because it's frankly a tough chapter. 40 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:57,560 It's complex, woven together in a complex way. 41 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,160 Would you follow along in your text that you hold in your hands as I read beginning in 42 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,200 verse 1 of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 where Paul says, 43 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:12,920 Now for the matters you wrote about, it is good for a man not to marry. 44 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:19,240 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman 45 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,920 her own husband. 46 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:26,840 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife. 47 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,640 And likewise the wife to her husband. 48 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:34,160 The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. 49 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:41,160 In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. 50 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:46,440 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time. 51 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,400 So that you may devote yourselves to prayer. 52 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,600 Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self 53 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,160 control. 54 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,420 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 55 00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:01,080 I wish that all men were as I am. 56 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,520 But each man has his own gift from God. 57 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,240 One has this gift, another that. 58 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:12,680 Now to the unmarried and to the widows I say, it is good for them to stay unmarried as I 59 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,520 am. 60 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,920 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry for it is better to marry than 61 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,700 to burn with passion. 62 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:24,720 To the married I give this command, not I but the Lord. 63 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:28,880 What he means by that is Jesus spoke directly to this issue. 64 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:35,320 I'm going to quote him now he says, A wife must not separate from her husband. 65 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:41,160 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. 66 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:45,000 And the husband must not divorce his wife. 67 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,100 To the rest I say this, I not the Lord. 68 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:53,120 By this he means Jesus didn't talk about what I'm about to say. 69 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:58,560 But here's what I believe God wants me to say to you. 70 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:04,640 If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must 71 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,160 not divorce her. 72 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:12,020 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, 73 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,760 she must not divorce him. 74 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,840 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife 75 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,360 has been sanctified through her believing husband. 76 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:29,900 Otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is, they are holy. 77 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,880 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. 78 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:38,040 A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances. 79 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,960 God has called us to live in peace. 80 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,840 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? 81 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:47,520 How do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 82 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:54,080 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and 83 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,480 to which God has called him. 84 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,880 This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 85 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:04,560 Was a man already circumcised when he was called, he should not become uncircumcised. 86 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,760 Was a man uncircumcised when he was called, he should not be circumcised. 87 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,080 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. 88 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,420 Keeping God's commands is what counts. 89 00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:23,360 Each one should remain in the situation which he was called in when God called him. 90 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,960 Were you a slave when you were called? 91 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,320 God ought to trouble you, although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 92 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:36,840 For he who is a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freed man. 93 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:43,320 Similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. 94 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,920 You were bought at a price. 95 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,240 Do not become slaves of men. 96 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:55,600 Brothers, each man is responsible to God, should remain in the situation in which God 97 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,840 has called him. 98 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,280 The apostle Paul begins to address the marriage issues. 99 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,960 The thing I want to say to you this morning is this, that marriage is by God's design. 100 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,960 Do you agree with that? 101 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,520 It is a wonderful gift from God. 102 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:17,120 Marriage was not thought up by a culture, a social order. 103 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,720 It was not created by our constitution. 104 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:25,080 It was created by God himself in the Garden of Eden. 105 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:31,520 That's why we believe so strongly that a culture like ours, for example, should not tinker 106 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:36,240 with and mess with what God has designed in marriage. 107 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,600 It's foundational to all of the created order. 108 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,160 And it's important that we seek to preserve it. 109 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,960 Marriage is by God's design. 110 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,980 This morning we have some couples who are from our church at a marriage conference that's 111 00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:53,160 held here annually, a family conference. 112 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,520 It's wonderful they can go and be a part of that. 113 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,760 They want to sharpen their marriages as we all should. 114 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:08,040 Marriage will be most happily lived when governed by the wise principles of God. 115 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,080 Now Paul knew this. 116 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,280 Paul knew this. 117 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:16,120 And Paul responds to the Corinthians' questions here by giving them some answers. 118 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:21,380 The problem that you and I have is that we don't have their questions. 119 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:26,560 So we don't know exactly what Paul was answering as he writes these words. 120 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:35,560 It is up to us to try to re-engineer or reinvent the questions and see what Paul was answering. 121 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,960 And that's the way I'm going to approach the text this morning. 122 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:44,260 I see that there are four questions in these verses that we have looked at together. 123 00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:46,000 The first question seems to be this. 124 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,760 Is it wrong, is it wrong not to be married? 125 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:56,200 Now there were some who taught that in Paul's day. 126 00:08:56,200 --> 00:09:01,080 That if you did not marry, you were living in sin before God. 127 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:08,400 And so what Paul says is actually it is good not to marry. 128 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:12,000 He exhorts these folks to follow his own example. 129 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,480 Had Paul ever been married, the subject is debated. 130 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,240 It's not for us this morning. 131 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,360 But the fact is at this point Paul was single. 132 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:27,120 And he says I wish that these folks were as I am, single. 133 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:31,200 Now later he will say in verse 26, and the text we'll look at the next time we come to 134 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:37,400 this, that this advice is in light of what he calls the present crisis. 135 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:44,360 Again, we don't know what the circumstances were in Corinth that causes him to say some 136 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,760 of the things he does in this chapter. 137 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,920 It may have been that there was present at that moment or that there was on the horizon 138 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:57,640 some kind of persecution of the believers that would make it very difficult for those 139 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,000 who were married. 140 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,860 And so Paul says actually it's good not to marry. 141 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:11,120 He doesn't say that singleness is bad. 142 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:15,920 He says in fact that singleness is good. 143 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,960 He doesn't say either that it's bad to marry. 144 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:24,280 But he simply says singleness is a good thing. 145 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:28,800 And it's to be considered as honorable as marriage. 146 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:35,280 Now there are some folks, especially who are single folks, who feel badly about the fact 147 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,400 that they are not married. 148 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:42,040 Let me tell you that before God your state of singleness is as honorable as those who 149 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,580 are married. 150 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:49,960 And it is in fact a gift that God gives to some. 151 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:56,980 But we have to acknowledge that celibacy can be very frustrating for those who are without 152 00:10:56,980 --> 00:11:00,680 the gift of singleness. 153 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:09,280 So to avoid sexual sin, Paul says also, it is better to marry. 154 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,480 Marriage is good. 155 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,520 Singleness is good. 156 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,800 But singleness can foster temptation. 157 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:25,000 And so to avoid sexual temptation it is better to marry. 158 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,920 You can understand how relevant this is in a place like Corinth and in a place like the 159 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:36,720 United States with our culture where it is. 160 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:42,320 Because God's word teaches that any sexual intimacy that is outside of marriage is out 161 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,640 of bounds. 162 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,680 It's not permitted. 163 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:54,200 And the reason for this is because it is so destructive to everybody that's involved. 164 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:59,880 As I said last week, God is not a killjoy. 165 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:05,120 When God puts up a boundary it's because He loves us so much He doesn't want us to be 166 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:10,840 hurt by the things on the other side of that boundary. 167 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:17,800 And He knows what happens when people are sexually immoral. 168 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,400 He knows the destruction it brings to them. 169 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,240 He knows the destruction it brings to their families. 170 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:29,240 He knows the seeds that it brings to a society. 171 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,280 And so God puts up the boundary where He does. 172 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,440 Paul says in answer to this first question, is it wrong not to be married? 173 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,440 He says no. 174 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,440 That's his short answer. 175 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,120 No, it's not wrong. 176 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,920 If you have the gift of singleness use it for the glory of God. 177 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,800 There are some advantages to it. 178 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,840 And we'll get into that more next time. 179 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:57,280 That brings us to a second question arising out of the answer in our text. 180 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:02,800 And that is should Christian couples separate? 181 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,080 Again he gives a short answer and the short answer is no. 182 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,640 If you're married, be married. 183 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:16,920 We all need to be aware of those people or those things or those feelings that can separate 184 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:23,760 us even emotionally as married couples. 185 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:31,160 One man said to his friend, my wife says that if I don't stop golfing she will leave me. 186 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,280 And his friend said, well man that's too bad. 187 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,280 And he says it sure is. 188 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,600 I'm going to miss her. 189 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:48,200 Hey, whether it's golf or it's some feeling of anger or jealousy that comes up, we need 190 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,840 to avoid those things that separate us. 191 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:59,400 I've heard people say, well we want to serve the Lord and to do that we should separate. 192 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,960 What a foolish idea. 193 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:07,760 Paul does say that, okay you can separate but let it be for a spiritual purpose like 194 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:15,880 prayer and only for a time. 195 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:21,200 Because he points out here that every spouse, each spouse has a duty to the other. 196 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,840 He calls it a marital duty. 197 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,960 Do we need to explain that? 198 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,680 I don't think so. 199 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:32,800 Sexual intimacy is involved here of course. 200 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:38,280 Maybe he's also including a little more than just the sexual relationship. 201 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:46,800 Perhaps also he's talking about the duty for courtesy, for manners, for kindness. 202 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:51,160 You know there are different kinds of duties aren't there? 203 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,160 Here's the duty of the chores you've got to do. 204 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,720 The duty of taking out the garbage. 205 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,520 The duty of homework. 206 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:04,000 Which is stuff you just have to do and you may not like to do it but you have to do it. 207 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:10,680 That isn't the duty he's talking about here. 208 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:17,160 Sexual intimacy in a marriage should never be a drudgery. 209 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:22,840 It should never be a hardship for us. 210 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:29,460 It should never be looked at as simply a performance. 211 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:37,240 The marital duty is to enjoy this intimacy together as God has planned. 212 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:42,960 Now the world says to us, you do what pleases you. 213 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:49,280 God says I want you to do what pleases the other. 214 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,960 That is your marital duty. 215 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,200 Each spouse has that duty to the other. 216 00:15:53,200 --> 00:16:00,140 It goes on to say that neither spouse should deprive the other because the right of intimacy 217 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:03,560 comes with the marriage commitment. 218 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:12,440 Folks, I've been around long enough to know that there are marriages where sexual intimacy 219 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:17,680 is used as a weapon. 220 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:27,160 Where one spouse or the other withholds in order to punish for some reason. 221 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:32,220 May I say to you that is wrong. 222 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:39,520 Never get yourself into that situation. 223 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:44,480 If there's a conflict, if you've been offended, there are ways that that can be addressed 224 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,080 and should be addressed. 225 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,040 But this is not one of them. 226 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:55,440 And again, Paul says if you're going to separate, let it be for something like prayer. 227 00:16:55,440 --> 00:17:02,240 Fast from that intimacy for the purpose of prayer, but not for too long. 228 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:07,800 Let Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 229 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:14,920 And thirdly, he says that both spouses are to stay committed to one another. 230 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,560 Verses 10 and 11 make this very clear. 231 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,320 We're talking about two believers who are married. 232 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:27,440 God has no plan for separation. 233 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:34,920 Now Paul recognizes, and I think we all do if we're realistic, that there are times when 234 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,960 there is nonetheless separation. 235 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:44,840 And sometimes it's the best of bad choices. 236 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:56,200 For example, is a wife who is physically abused or a wife who's in a marriage where the children 237 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:04,000 are endangered because of a husband, is she committed to stay with that man? 238 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,160 My answer to that is no, she's not. 239 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,720 I know that there are ministers who disagree with me on this. 240 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,640 I respect them for their opinions. 241 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:18,040 God has no plan for separation, but we live in a fallen world. 242 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:24,760 And our relationships sometimes get fallen further where two people cannot continue to 243 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:25,760 live together. 244 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,040 But Paul makes this point very clear. 245 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:37,760 When that becomes necessary, there is no remarriage for either party. 246 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,200 It's a high price to pay. 247 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:51,400 But sometimes it's necessary to pay that price. 248 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:59,320 What is it that often generates these feelings of I want to get away from this? 249 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:03,360 Very rarely does it occur because of some huge thing all at once. 250 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:08,880 Most commonly what happens is that little things begin to happen in the communication 251 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:17,080 or in the relationship where frustration or dissatisfaction or unhappiness develops on 252 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,400 a very low level. 253 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,480 And then it begins to build up. 254 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:31,320 And because these are not addressed in a healthy way, they become big things. 255 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,760 We used to have moles in our yard in Minnesota. 256 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,400 I don't know if you've ever had moles, but they are so frustrating. 257 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,840 You can't get rid of those creatures. 258 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:48,780 Now you could in the day you could buy poison peanuts, but now that's environmentally outlawed. 259 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:51,200 So you can't give them poison peanuts. 260 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:57,200 And so you go to the hardware store or some other pest control and you find some gadget. 261 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,160 Maybe it's electronic. 262 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,000 It's supposed to scare them away. 263 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000 Or there are traps. 264 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,720 Actually, they look rather perverse, but there are traps. 265 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,680 You can put down their holes and you have to put them in there very carefully so that 266 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,640 they don't know they're there. 267 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,080 Right. 268 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,160 And then when they come along, it grabs them. 269 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,640 I struggle with these moles. 270 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:23,660 They destroyed my lawn until one day somebody told me what I needed to do. 271 00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:25,520 There is an underlying problem with moles. 272 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,400 Do you know what the problem is? 273 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,120 Some of you do. 274 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,120 Grub worms. 275 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,640 That's why moles are in my yard. 276 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,460 It's because of the grub worms. 277 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:41,980 And you know when I poisoned the grub worms, the moles went away because they had nothing 278 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:45,840 to eat. 279 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:54,640 What happens too often is that the grub worms just kind of are present in our marriages. 280 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,000 And because they are there and we don't deal with them, the moles come along and begin 281 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:05,480 then to eat away and leave holes in our relationship. 282 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,360 Should Christian couples separate? 283 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,920 Paul says no. 284 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,840 But then he gives the exception and the consequences of that. 285 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,640 That brings us to a third question that's kind of related. 286 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:27,920 And that is should a Christian leave an unsaved spouse? 287 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,000 Now the problem seemed to have arisen out of a question from somebody. 288 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:40,200 Does my living with my pagan spouse defile me as a believer? 289 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,640 You can understand this. 290 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:48,400 For example, here's a woman who has come to faith in Christ and Corinth and her husband 291 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:54,760 still goes up there to the temple of Aphrodite and partakes in that because he's an unbeliever. 292 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,760 He's a pagan. 293 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,200 What do you expect pagans to do? 294 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:05,160 And so she writes to Paul, let's say, and she says, should I separate? 295 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,960 Should I leave him? 296 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,320 Because am I being defiled because of what's happening up there at the temple and the worship 297 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,760 of these pagan gods and so forth? 298 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,280 And so Paul's short answer again is no. 299 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,280 Absolutely not. 300 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,960 You should not separate. 301 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,560 You should not leave your unsaved spouse. 302 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,560 Now why is this? 303 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,800 Well, Paul answers in verse 14. 304 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,000 It's what I call matrimonial sanctification. 305 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:40,700 He says your presence in that marriage brings God into it. 306 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:47,080 And because of that, you never know if your husband may respond to the gospel and be saved. 307 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,920 Peter says the same thing, doesn't he, in 1 Peter 3? 308 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:55,660 He says the behavior of you as a Christian wife may very well win your non-believing 309 00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:58,180 husband. 310 00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:01,820 The same is true if there's a husband who's a believer. 311 00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:08,400 Your being in that marriage is a sanctifying part of God's plan in that other person's 312 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,400 life. 313 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,440 You're there. 314 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,400 Your presence there sanctifies your children. 315 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,400 They are set apart. 316 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:20,560 Now that doesn't mean that children are automatically saved, but it means that God's Spirit can 317 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:28,160 be at work in that home and the likelihood is that those children will become believers. 318 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:33,440 So there's great value in you remaining in that marriage. 319 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:39,160 Now the underlying implication here is that this was a woman who had become a believer 320 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,920 through the marriage. 321 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:48,760 And so she's caught in this dilemma, or the man on the other hand. 322 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:53,480 Now Paul says they should not separate, but there's a note of clarification that he gives 323 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,440 as well in verse 15. 324 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:04,960 What do you do if your unsafe spouse deserts the marriage, abandons the marriage? 325 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,200 I know of situations where this has happened. 326 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:13,600 The one who hasn't become a believer says, you're not the same person I married. 327 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,680 You're too good. 328 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,360 I went out of this marriage. 329 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,920 You're not the fun you used to be. 330 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,560 You don't want to go to the places you used to go. 331 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,840 I went out of this marriage. 332 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,640 What do you do in a case like that? 333 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:36,640 Now Paul says a believer in that kind of a situation is not under bondage. 334 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:45,200 Now bondage is taken by some to mean that the person is not bound to live with the unbeliever. 335 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:51,360 Well it seems to me rather obvious if the unbeliever deserts the marriage, the believer 336 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:55,120 is not going to be living with the unbeliever. 337 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:58,440 I don't think that's what he means here at all. 338 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:04,540 I think the idea of being bound, you're not under bondage in that situation, is the same 339 00:25:04,540 --> 00:25:09,520 thing as being bound in verse 39 in the chapter where it's very clearly the bondage of the 340 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,440 marriage vows. 341 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:18,240 And so he is saying here that in that kind of a situation where a believer is deserted 342 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:27,880 or abandoned by an unsaved spouse, the believer is free to end that relationship. 343 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:33,440 And I remind you that whenever a marriage is ended for biblically justified reasons, 344 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,680 there is an inherent right for remarriage in those cases. 345 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:46,040 I know of two cases in the scriptures that I see where marriage can be ended and where 346 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,800 remarriage is presumed right. 347 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:55,920 One is in the case of adultery with a believer or unbeliever. 348 00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:02,040 God says that adultery is such a significant sin that there is a right, doesn't have to 349 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:08,200 be exercised, but there is a right for the believer, for the other person rather, to 350 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,600 end the marriage at that point. 351 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:15,800 Now better for there to be confession, forgiveness, restoration. 352 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:21,160 But especially when there is a pattern. 353 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:24,200 Adultery justifies divorce. 354 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:28,880 Likewise here, when an unbeliever is married to one who has become a believer since the 355 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:34,240 remarriage and he leaves, Paul says that believer has a right to end the marriage. 356 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:39,240 And with that situation there is the inherent right of remarriage implied. 357 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,600 Now there is an underlying basic principle that is involved here. 358 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:51,280 That is that we as God's children should do what produces peace, not strife. 359 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:57,600 In other words, there is no benefit in trying to hang on to the one who has forsaken the 360 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,240 marriage. 361 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:07,240 We are to not live for strife, but to take the action that produces the peace. 362 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,000 Now does this answer all of the questions that this kind of a text raises? 363 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,920 It does not. 364 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,560 And you may be sitting there, what about this, what about that? 365 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,520 Well, Paul didn't talk about it, so I'm not going to talk about it this morning, but there 366 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,400 are people you can go to for help. 367 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,240 And I want to encourage you to do that. 368 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:30,240 If you have a question regarding your own situation or someone you know, come to one 369 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,120 of our lay counselors, come to one of our staff. 370 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:36,720 We will be glad to talk to you and address your situation and try to seek God's wisdom 371 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:37,720 with you. 372 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:43,200 But it brings us then to a fourth question in our text, and I wrap it up as I begin to 373 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,200 talk about this. 374 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:49,540 Should Christians demand change in their circumstances after conversion? 375 00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:53,440 This seems to be behind the whole marriage question. 376 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:59,240 It is, should I seek or should I demand a change in my station in life now that I've 377 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,240 become a follower of Jesus? 378 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:09,760 He points out the example, as a slave, should I seek and demand my freedom? 379 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:15,680 We might also say, I've been born into this low caste in India, for example. 380 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:20,240 Should I demand to be released from my caste? 381 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,040 Or I am now unhappily married. 382 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,040 Should I seek divorce? 383 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,760 And Paul's short answer to this question is no. 384 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:35,320 You should not demand change in your circumstances after your conversion. 385 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:40,440 He says a believer should remain as God has called him. 386 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,800 If married to an unsafe spouse, remain in the marriage. 387 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:51,400 If wrongly divorced and now remarried to somebody else, don't break up the second marriage and 388 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,040 return to the first. 389 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,240 Remain where God has called you into his family. 390 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,840 He says if you're a Jew, remain a Jew. 391 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,600 If you're a Gentile, remain a Gentile. 392 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,360 If you're a slave, remain a slave. 393 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:10,760 Unless you can be freed, then be freed, but use it for the Lord. 394 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:20,840 What matters most is number one, that I see my place as God's assignment. 395 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:26,080 That my station in life is where God has called me to know him and to walk with him. 396 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:34,360 I need to trust his providence and not demand or insist or agitate for some kind of change. 397 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:39,800 Secondly, that I keep God's moral commands. 398 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,960 Paul says circumcision is nothing, uncircumcision is nothing. 399 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:48,320 Those ritual commands don't mean anything, but what does matter is the keeping of God's 400 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,040 moral commands. 401 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:55,640 God says this is right, this is wrong, follow that. 402 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:56,760 That's important. 403 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:57,760 That matters. 404 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:02,720 Thirdly, what matters most is to remain where God calls me. 405 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,620 We might call it the principle of the status quo. 406 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:12,440 The most important thing is not my political or ethnic or social position in this world. 407 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:19,040 What really matters is my spiritual position, that I am in Jesus Christ. 408 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:26,640 And wherever God's calling has found me, nothing can change my relationship to him. 409 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:36,040 He wants me to live out of that reality, not some temporal reality that is passing away. 410 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:46,240 In closing thoughts, as a child of God, number one, I am to make my commitment to him the 411 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,920 number one priority of my life. 412 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:56,880 Folks, when it's all said and done, this is what matters. 413 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:03,920 When I have taken my last breath, when my heart has beat for the last time, as it will 414 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:09,960 for each one of us someday in God's timing, what matters at that moment as I leave my 415 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:16,920 body and I enter into the presence of the Lord is have I lived my life with Jesus as 416 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:22,480 my priority. 417 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,420 That is written throughout this chapter. 418 00:31:26,420 --> 00:31:33,780 Number two, as a child of God, I am to live in counterpoint to the wisdom of the world. 419 00:31:33,780 --> 00:31:35,840 The world says agitate for change. 420 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:39,040 The world says demand your rights. 421 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,160 Get what you deserve. 422 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:46,600 You don't have to take this anymore. 423 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:51,120 And God says, I want you as my child to live in counterpoint to that wisdom. 424 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,560 That's not easy, is it? 425 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:58,680 Because the world hammers away all the time with its wisdom. 426 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:05,580 God says I want you to live in a counterpoint to what the world says. 427 00:32:05,580 --> 00:32:12,880 Number three, as a child of God, I am to entrust my circumstances to his choice. 428 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:17,680 Isn't it easy to get our eyes on our circumstances? 429 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:25,640 And to feel frustrated, maybe to feel angry, to feel limited, like we just can't do what 430 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,280 we want to do. 431 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,280 What we really need to do is to get our eyes on Jesus, not on our circumstances. 432 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:41,120 And as we put our eyes on Jesus, we can entrust our circumstances to his wise lordship. 433 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,120 Can you say amen to that? 434 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,260 He knows what he's doing. 435 00:32:45,260 --> 00:32:49,120 Is there anything that is bigger than Jesus in our lives? 436 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,380 No. 437 00:32:50,380 --> 00:32:53,280 He can handle whatever we're facing. 438 00:32:53,280 --> 00:33:02,520 I just need to live with him as my priority, with my eyes on Jesus, not on this world. 439 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,800 Would you bow with me, please? 440 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,440 Let's sing together the chorus. 441 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,440 I think you know it. 442 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:24,040 Turn your eyes upon...