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I have people in my life that make saying goodbye so hard.

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The neat thing about it is that in God's family, we never have to say a final goodbye, do we?

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Because we always have the future in Christ, and it belongs to us.

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God gives us grace, though, excuse me, for saying goodbye.

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Goodbye's are a part of life, and a healthy one releases God's grace to help us with the

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separation.

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It helps ease the pain that we feel.

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I'm going to ask you to turn with me in your Bible to Acts chapter 20, where we see an

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example of a healthy goodbye.

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It is the occasion when Paul, returning from his third missionary journey, stopped at a

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particular place and called the elders of the church of Ephesus to come to him so that

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he might bid them farewell.

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We're going to be looking at this text this morning as we think about how to have a healthy

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goodbye.

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What do you say?

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What do you talk about?

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Have you ever wondered that, not only the goodbye like this, but goodbye when your child

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is going off to college, or the goodbye when a loved one is dying?

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How do you have a healthy goodbye?

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What we're going to talk about this morning, although it's going to be primarily about

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this kind of a context, can apply to most of the goodbyes that we all experience as

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a part of life.

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We're going to begin in verse 17 where it says, from Miletus Paul sent to Ephesus and

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called to him the elders of the church.

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And when they had come to him, he said to them, and here now is his goodbye, his farewell

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sermon, if you will, to the elders of the church.

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You yourselves know from the first day that I set foot in Asia how I was with you the

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whole time, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials which came

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upon me through the plots of the Jews, how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything

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that was profitable and teaching you publicly and from house to house, solemnly testifying

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to both Jews and Greeks of repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

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I want to say to you first of all that a healthy goodbye means to remember what you've shared

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together.

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Paul does this as he begins to speak.

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He reflects upon the journey that they have had together.

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And this morning we want to reflect just a little bit upon the journey that you and I

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have had together.

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Over the last 10 years that I've been your pastor, the last two years that Dave and I

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have shared that role, a lot of life has happened.

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Goodbye is acknowledged that the journey though is about to change, that it won't be quite

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the same as it's been before.

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And so it's good to reflect upon where we have traveled together in the past.

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You notice for Paul there were a couple of things that came to his mind.

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First was the hard times.

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He talks about the suffering.

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He talks about the persecution that he had endured.

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All you have to do is turn back a chapter to chapter 19 and you read all about that,

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at least Luke's version of it.

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Because chapter 19 is devoted to Paul's three years that he spent in Ephesus, longer in

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that place than in any other place where he ministered.

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He remembered that there were some hard times.

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But he also remembers the growing times, the times when he was teaching them the Word of

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God, the times when he was helping them in their walk, discipling them, mentoring them,

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establishing the church, the growing times.

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I want to ask you, what do you remember over the last years that we've been together?

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I will remember the three days of interview that I had before I was selected to be a candidate

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for senior pastor here.

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Three days of intensive conversations, some of them right here in this building, others

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of them in homes, in which I was quizzed and I was researched and I was stretched as to

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answers and it was all good.

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It wasn't bad at all.

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But it told me that this was a special church and that God had a place here for me.

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I recall after coming that first fall of 1999 that Jeanette had some dental surgery and

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she had an infection as a result of that causing her whole face and neck to swell and it was

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pretty serious for a little bit and she was in the hospital.

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And there were a number of you who very kindly and graciously ministered to us and early

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on just poured love into our lives.

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I can't tell you how much that meant to both of us.

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In coming here we needed to find a home and during that period as we waited for our home

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to be finished we lived in transitional housing.

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They called it executive housing.

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What a wonderful name for it.

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It was near the barrio of San Jose but it was a great experience to be there and once

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again we sensed the love and support of this congregation as we were sort of living in

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tents as it were during that time.

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Then I recall the renovation of Fellowship Hall which occurred around the year 2000 some

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of you would remember.

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We not only renovated it but we put carpet down in the hallways and painted all the classrooms.

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It was a big project for us and it was part of what we call God's new beginning.

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Believing that after some tough years for Los Gatos Christian Church God would create

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a new beginning none of us had any idea what that would lead to today and how God would

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bring us to this point of an amazing beginning.

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It's all turned out in a way that only God could have done.

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But you may recall that that new beginning and the renovation work was quickly followed

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by a dot com bust here in Silicon Valley and during the last part of 2000 all the way up

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to the first part of 2003 we lost about 75 families who because of loss of work had to

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move out of the area, other parts of the state or other parts of the country.

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That was a tough time.

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That was a hard time.

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We instituted at some point over the years what we called body life intercession.

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Some of you were a part of those Thursday evening monthly meetings as we got on our

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knees before God and prayed for the future of this church.

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Again little did we know how God would answer but we prayed and He has answered.

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There was a tradition that I inherited as pastor here and that was having a Labor Day

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picnic, something that we enjoyed together as a church family.

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The first one that I recall was the weekend that we arrived and I think it was Lake Cunningham,

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is that the right name, over on the east side of San Jose and it was a great afternoon.

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Then eventually we moved back here to our campus and we started the tradition of inviting

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past staff members of Los Gatos Christian Church to come and to preach.

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That was just a great occasion for all of us, for those of you who remembered these

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staff members to see them again and for me to meet them because I had heard their names

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and was delighted to be able to know them firsthand.

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We had wonderful Christmas and Easter musicals, outreach to our community, a choir going over

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to the tree lighting in Los Gatos on the first Friday night of December.

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I think if there's any ministry period that stands out most to me, it would probably be

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that two week period in 2004, February, when we invited the team from Michigan called Life

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Action to come and to minister to us in such significant and deep ways.

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Meeting every night I think except for maybe one night of those two week periods or two

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nights each, one night each week, but it was not an hour meeting.

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It was usually an hour and a half or two hours and God just dug into some of the tough things

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in our lives, some of the baggage that we had carried for years and refocused us and

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got us cleaned up.

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It was really a good time and folks, I believe with all of my heart it laid a spiritual foundation

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for where we are today.

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We could talk about extreme makeover as we began to think about renovating here in the

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worship center and that great dinner that we had.

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The Bryce Jessup, our good friend, came and spoke for us and the great response of the

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congregation.

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I could talk about the lunch with Dave back in January, I think it was January of 2006,

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and the fact that we then as a leadership team of both churches engaged a consultant

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to help us think about the idea of merger.

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In October 2006 when we had an elders meeting combining the Los Gatos and South Valley elders

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to talk about what the merger would mean and the meeting was just overtaken by the Holy

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Spirit.

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To the surprise of all of us there was this desire right then to vote on it and it was

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unanimous vote to proceed with the investigation of the merger.

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We appointed a team and for the next months that team met diligently and thought through

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the things that would be involved in the merging of two congregations like ours.

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And then there came the vote in March of 2007 by our elder councils to move ahead with the

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merger and that announcement to the congregation in that month.

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Even the first Sunday of our worshiping together of September of 2007.

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And then who can forget moving out of here at the fellowship hall while the renovation

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was taking place.

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Do you realize if you were here then you were part of something historic?

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That will probably never happen again, at least in our lifetimes when we'll need to

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move out of here in order to do renovation and worship in fellowship hall for some of

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you.

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It was like going back home because you had come to Christ in that area we call fellowship

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hall.

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We're baptized there.

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Good memories.

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We could talk about what happened last summer when after a year into the merger all of a

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sudden the Spirit of God did something.

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I don't know what it was.

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I don't know how it happened.

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But it was noticeable not only in the spirit of the church but in the response of attendance

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and in giving last August something happened.

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God did something in Venture Christian Church and we began moving out in a new way, a united

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way.

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And then last fall in the missions conference as Chip came to speak to us and God was in

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the process of saying something to our hearts about Him coming as senior pastor.

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There's been so much that has happened.

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What do you remember?

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I hope that you have good memories as I do of not only the good times and the easy times

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but good memories too of the tough times and how we grew together through them.

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Here's what I hope you'll remember.

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Here's what I hope that you'll remember, that in our shared journey over the last ten years

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I have loved you and I've taught you the Word of God with sincerity.

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If you could remember that, it would bless my heart and I could go away from this farewell

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with a full heart giving glory and thanks to God.

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I hope that that will linger with you when I'm gone.

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You notice a healthy farewell involves a second thing as we pick it up in verse 22, now behold

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bound in spirit I'm on my way to Jerusalem not knowing what will happen to me there except

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that the Holy Spirit solemnly testifies to me in every city saying that bonds and afflictions

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await me.

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But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself so that I may finish my

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course and the ministry which I've received from the Lord Jesus to testify solemnly of

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the gospel of the grace of God.

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When you're saying goodbye in a healthy way, the second thing you need to do is to relate

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what's important.

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Relate what's important.

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Whether it be to that child that's leaving for the first grade or for college or that

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loved one who's moving across the nation or your son or daughter heading off to war or

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saying goodbye to a loved one on the deathbed.

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Relate what's important to you.

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Paul does that here for Paul it was this that he was confident in the future that it was

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in the Lord's hands and that whatever lay ahead, he did not know for sure, but whatever

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lay ahead even if it be bonds and afflictions as the spirit was indicating that God would

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carry out his plans.

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That was his confidence.

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He also wanted them to know that he was committed to his personal assignment from Jesus, whatever

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the cost would be.

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Here's what's important to me is I think of you in saying goodbye, that you will always

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hold fast to God's Word and godly values and that you will carry out God's purposes, whatever

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the cost in our rapidly changing world.

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To remain a church like you are today will not be easy, especially in a world like we're

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entering into.

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But what I count as so important to my heart is that you will hold fast to it and I hope

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that will linger with you after I'm gone.

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A healthy goodbye involves something else as we see in verses 25 to 27.

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Follow along with me in your Bible.

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It says, and now behold I know that all of you among whom I went about preaching the

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kingdom will no longer see my face.

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For I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all men, for I did not shrink

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from declaring to you the whole purpose of God.

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And having a healthy goodbye, the third thing is this, deal with the present reality.

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Don't live pretending something besides what is true.

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Whether it be someone going off to war or someone you're saying goodbye to in the death

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bed, if it's a hard goodbye, face that present reality, deal with it.

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Paul here knew that separation was imminent.

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Now he was wrong about the finality of it.

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There's reason to believe that Paul in fact saw the Ephesian church again, but he felt

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that the separation was imminent and he faced that reality were it to be true.

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But the second part of the reality is that he wanted them to know that he felt relieved

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of responsibility for them.

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He says, I'm innocent of the blood of all men.

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A way of saying, I am released from my responsibility for you.

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No matter what job you hold, there's weight with it.

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Am I not right?

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I mean, there's a burden that you have.

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And the same is true with being a pastor of a church, as Dave can testify with me.

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There is the burden of the souls of people.

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In one sense, you never are released from that burden.

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But as a pastor, you have a particular responsibility for people.

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And in leaving, today I want to say to you that I feel some relief.

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Not relief in any sense that I'm glad to be going, but relief in the sense that now the

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burden for your souls will be carried by someone else.

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And so here's our present reality today.

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My work here is completed.

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And I want you to know that it's completed with joy in my heart.

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And you now have a new pastor who has my wholehearted support.

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I want you to know that.

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And if there comes a time when there's something that displeases you about a decision that

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Chip makes, don't come to me and complain about it, please.

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I won't hear you.

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In fact, I'm going to turn you around and march you right back to him because he has

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my wholehearted support.

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The responsibility for the direction of the church, the responsibility for your souls

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is now in his hands.

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And I am content with that.

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And I support him in it.

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And so I hope that that will linger with you, that sense of completion and joy on my part

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and my support of him.

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I hope that will linger with you while I am gone.

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A healthy goodbye involves something else.

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Beginning in verse 28, would you read with me, it says, be on guard for yourselves and

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for all the flock among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.

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To shepherd the church of God which he purchased with his own blood.

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I know that after my departure, savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.

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And from among your own selves, men will arise, speaking perverse things to draw away the

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disciples after them.

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Therefore, be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years,

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I did not cease to admonish each one of you with tears.

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And so when you're having a healthy goodbye, it's important to talk about the future.

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What the future is going to be like in your absence or their absence.

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That's what Paul does here.

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He says, after I'm gone, there's going to be problems.

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From the outside and from the inside, Paul expected there would be problems in the church.

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Now did Paul have some specific insight that God had given him about this or was he speaking

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in general?

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I really don't know.

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But I can say this today in general, that there are some problems ahead.

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How do we know this?

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Because we're all human beings and because we have an enemy who will seek to do all that

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he can to instill problems in this church.

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None of us want to be guilty of doing the devil's work for him.

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All we want to do, rather, is to stand in his way and claim the victory of the cross

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over him.

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That he will not be able to instill effectively problems in the church.

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But Paul knew that there would be problems and therefore he charged the elders with watchfulness.

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After all, they're the leaders of the church and in particular, they must be on guard.

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But the truth is that all of us must be on guard.

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That we're all responsible for the welfare and the health of Venture Christian Church

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and for its unity.

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It's important that we have an honest talk about the future and here's what I foresee.

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Venture Christian Church will have a growing, fruitful leadership under Pastor Chip and

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the leadership team.

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But it will be resisted by spiritual forces.

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I have no doubt of that.

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Therefore, do your part to protect God's work.

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When I'm gone, I hope that what I've just said will linger with you.

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We continue reading in verse 32 where Paul says, and now I commend you to God and to

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the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among

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all those who are sanctified.

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A healthy goodbye means that you release those you love to God's care.

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Here Paul entrusts the church to God.

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He commends the church to God and to the message of grace.

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He does so with the confidence that God will fulfill his calling in them.

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And I want you to know today that I love you very much and I commend you to God.

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That I entrust you as Venture Christian Church to God and to the word of his grace with every

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confidence that it will release in you the power of God so that his purpose is fully

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accomplished.

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Here's what I recognize as I stand here before you for the last time.

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Although I am leaving, the Lord is staying and he will complete in you what he has begun.

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Know that my heart will always be here in some respect and that I'll always be praying

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for you.

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But I will be gone.

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Jesus is here.

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He is not leaving.

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He will never forsake you and he will complete what he's begun.

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When I'm gone, I hope that lingers with you.

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And finally, verses 33 to 35, Paul says to them very honestly, I have coveted no one's

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silver or gold or clothes.

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You yourselves know that these hands have ministered to my own needs and to the men

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who were with me.

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In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner, you must help the weak

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and remember the words of the Lord Jesus that he himself said, it is more blessed to give

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than to what?

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Than to receive.

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A healthy goodbye involves your reminding them of your values.

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Reminding of your values.

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For Paul, he seems to pick some very practical life values that he feels are unsurpassed.

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First of all, live for something higher than your own greed.

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He says don't live to gain for yourself.

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Live for something higher than that.

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He says secondly, live to serve others.

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And third, live for authentic joy.

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Authentic joy.

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And what does that joy come from?

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By being a giver.

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Be a giver, not a taker.

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This is one of the beatitudes of Jesus that we would never have known if Paul had not

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by the Holy Spirit recorded it for us here.

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We have no word like this in the Gospels where Jesus made a statement like this.

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Live for authentic joy.

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So here's what I hope you'll do.

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Here's what I hope you'll do.

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Graciously forget my failures, and there have been some.

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Graciously forget my failures and follow whatever good you found in my example.

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I have sought to live out before you the values of God in my life.

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I would probably express it a little different than Paul did, and you would probably express

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it differently too because each of us has our own slice on what the highest values are.

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But I have sought to live out my highest values.

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And so follow whatever good you have found in that example.

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When I am gone, I hope that will linger with you.

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So it says, when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all.

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And they began to weep aloud and embrace Paul and repeatedly kissed him, grieving especially

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over the word which he had spoken that they would not see his face again.

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And they were accompanying him to the ship.

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And so the farewell ended.

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What happened?

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Well, immediately we see what happened.

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There was this outburst of emotion and love, this outpouring of affection for Paul because

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of his role in their lives.

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He had after all been the spiritual father, if you will, of the church, for it was on

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his second missionary journey that he went to Ephesus and there proclaimed the gospel

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to them.

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But what about over time?

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What happened over time?

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There's no church in the New Testament we know more about than the church of Ephesus

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because Timothy was the pastor of the church at Ephesus.

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And so we have the epistles to Timothy that give us insight into what happened in the

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church in the years that followed.

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And then there is in Revelation chapter 2, in the first letter of Jesus to the seven

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churches of Asia Minor, more insight regarding where Ephesus was, where the church was some

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40 years after Paul had spoken these words to the elders.

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And what we find there is that 40 years later, in many respects, the church was doing terrifically

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but they had left their first love.

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Something of the tears and the passion and the freshness of the love for Jesus was gone

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in four decades.

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And so I ask the question, what will linger when we've said goodbye?

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What will linger next month, next year?

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Or if Jesus tarries, what will linger 10 years from now?

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I hope that some of the things we've talked about this morning will give you an understanding

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of what I pray will linger.

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Above all, I pray that your love for Jesus Christ will abound, that it will never cool,

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and that your devotion to the body of Jesus Christ, which is His church, will not wane.

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Goodbyes are not forever.

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Goodbyes are not the end, they simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again.

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Goodbyes in the family of God are not forever, they cannot be.

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For we share together life that is eternal.

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And though our relationship changes now, our love for one another need not, nor our confidence

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that one day we shall stand together in the presence of Jesus Christ, complete in Him

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forever.

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Amen?

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Would you stand together with me please as I pray?

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And following that we're going to sing just a verse and a chorus of a song.

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Heavenly Father, I give thanks to you today for this dear body of people with whom you

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have privileged me for these 10 years, for some two years, to be their pastor along with

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Dave.

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I'm sure he joins me in giving thanks to you for the opportunity that we have enjoyed.

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And Father, as we say farewell to them, we commend them to you and to the word of your

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grace.

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And we pray that all of us will follow you wherever you lead us and be willing whatever

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the cost to be your faithful followers until that day that we see you face to face.

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Amen.

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Let's sing together.