I have people in my life that make saying goodbye so hard.
The neat thing about it is that in God's family, we never have to say a final goodbye, do we?
Because we always have the future in Christ, and it belongs to us.
God gives us grace, though, excuse me, for saying goodbye.
Goodbye's are a part of life, and a healthy one releases God's grace to help us with the
separation.
It helps ease the pain that we feel.
I'm going to ask you to turn with me in your Bible to Acts chapter 20, where we see an
example of a healthy goodbye.
It is the occasion when Paul, returning from his third missionary journey, stopped at a
particular place and called the elders of the church of Ephesus to come to him so that
he might bid them farewell.
We're going to be looking at this text this morning as we think about how to have a healthy
goodbye.
What do you say?
What do you talk about?
Have you ever wondered that, not only the goodbye like this, but goodbye when your child
is going off to college, or the goodbye when a loved one is dying?
How do you have a healthy goodbye?
What we're going to talk about this morning, although it's going to be primarily about
this kind of a context, can apply to most of the goodbyes that we all experience as
a part of life.
We're going to begin in verse 17 where it says, from Miletus Paul sent to Ephesus and
called to him the elders of the church.
And when they had come to him, he said to them, and here now is his goodbye, his farewell
sermon, if you will, to the elders of the church.
You yourselves know from the first day that I set foot in Asia how I was with you the
whole time, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials which came
upon me through the plots of the Jews, how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything
that was profitable and teaching you publicly and from house to house, solemnly testifying
to both Jews and Greeks of repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
I want to say to you first of all that a healthy goodbye means to remember what you've shared
together.
Paul does this as he begins to speak.
He reflects upon the journey that they have had together.
And this morning we want to reflect just a little bit upon the journey that you and I
have had together.
Over the last 10 years that I've been your pastor, the last two years that Dave and I
have shared that role, a lot of life has happened.
Goodbye is acknowledged that the journey though is about to change, that it won't be quite
the same as it's been before.
And so it's good to reflect upon where we have traveled together in the past.
You notice for Paul there were a couple of things that came to his mind.
First was the hard times.
He talks about the suffering.
He talks about the persecution that he had endured.
All you have to do is turn back a chapter to chapter 19 and you read all about that,
at least Luke's version of it.
Because chapter 19 is devoted to Paul's three years that he spent in Ephesus, longer in
that place than in any other place where he ministered.
He remembered that there were some hard times.
But he also remembers the growing times, the times when he was teaching them the Word of
God, the times when he was helping them in their walk, discipling them, mentoring them,
establishing the church, the growing times.
I want to ask you, what do you remember over the last years that we've been together?
I will remember the three days of interview that I had before I was selected to be a candidate
for senior pastor here.
Three days of intensive conversations, some of them right here in this building, others
of them in homes, in which I was quizzed and I was researched and I was stretched as to
answers and it was all good.
It wasn't bad at all.
But it told me that this was a special church and that God had a place here for me.
I recall after coming that first fall of 1999 that Jeanette had some dental surgery and
she had an infection as a result of that causing her whole face and neck to swell and it was
pretty serious for a little bit and she was in the hospital.
And there were a number of you who very kindly and graciously ministered to us and early
on just poured love into our lives.
I can't tell you how much that meant to both of us.
In coming here we needed to find a home and during that period as we waited for our home
to be finished we lived in transitional housing.
They called it executive housing.
What a wonderful name for it.
It was near the barrio of San Jose but it was a great experience to be there and once
again we sensed the love and support of this congregation as we were sort of living in
tents as it were during that time.
Then I recall the renovation of Fellowship Hall which occurred around the year 2000 some
of you would remember.
We not only renovated it but we put carpet down in the hallways and painted all the classrooms.
It was a big project for us and it was part of what we call God's new beginning.
Believing that after some tough years for Los Gatos Christian Church God would create
a new beginning none of us had any idea what that would lead to today and how God would
bring us to this point of an amazing beginning.
It's all turned out in a way that only God could have done.
But you may recall that that new beginning and the renovation work was quickly followed
by a dot com bust here in Silicon Valley and during the last part of 2000 all the way up
to the first part of 2003 we lost about 75 families who because of loss of work had to
move out of the area, other parts of the state or other parts of the country.
That was a tough time.
That was a hard time.
We instituted at some point over the years what we called body life intercession.
Some of you were a part of those Thursday evening monthly meetings as we got on our
knees before God and prayed for the future of this church.
Again little did we know how God would answer but we prayed and He has answered.
There was a tradition that I inherited as pastor here and that was having a Labor Day
picnic, something that we enjoyed together as a church family.
The first one that I recall was the weekend that we arrived and I think it was Lake Cunningham,
is that the right name, over on the east side of San Jose and it was a great afternoon.
Then eventually we moved back here to our campus and we started the tradition of inviting
past staff members of Los Gatos Christian Church to come and to preach.
That was just a great occasion for all of us, for those of you who remembered these
staff members to see them again and for me to meet them because I had heard their names
and was delighted to be able to know them firsthand.
We had wonderful Christmas and Easter musicals, outreach to our community, a choir going over
to the tree lighting in Los Gatos on the first Friday night of December.
I think if there's any ministry period that stands out most to me, it would probably be
that two week period in 2004, February, when we invited the team from Michigan called Life
Action to come and to minister to us in such significant and deep ways.
Meeting every night I think except for maybe one night of those two week periods or two
nights each, one night each week, but it was not an hour meeting.
It was usually an hour and a half or two hours and God just dug into some of the tough things
in our lives, some of the baggage that we had carried for years and refocused us and
got us cleaned up.
It was really a good time and folks, I believe with all of my heart it laid a spiritual foundation
for where we are today.
We could talk about extreme makeover as we began to think about renovating here in the
worship center and that great dinner that we had.
The Bryce Jessup, our good friend, came and spoke for us and the great response of the
congregation.
I could talk about the lunch with Dave back in January, I think it was January of 2006,
and the fact that we then as a leadership team of both churches engaged a consultant
to help us think about the idea of merger.
In October 2006 when we had an elders meeting combining the Los Gatos and South Valley elders
to talk about what the merger would mean and the meeting was just overtaken by the Holy
Spirit.
To the surprise of all of us there was this desire right then to vote on it and it was
unanimous vote to proceed with the investigation of the merger.
We appointed a team and for the next months that team met diligently and thought through
the things that would be involved in the merging of two congregations like ours.
And then there came the vote in March of 2007 by our elder councils to move ahead with the
merger and that announcement to the congregation in that month.
Even the first Sunday of our worshiping together of September of 2007.
And then who can forget moving out of here at the fellowship hall while the renovation
was taking place.
Do you realize if you were here then you were part of something historic?
That will probably never happen again, at least in our lifetimes when we'll need to
move out of here in order to do renovation and worship in fellowship hall for some of
you.
It was like going back home because you had come to Christ in that area we call fellowship
hall.
We're baptized there.
Good memories.
We could talk about what happened last summer when after a year into the merger all of a
sudden the Spirit of God did something.
I don't know what it was.
I don't know how it happened.
But it was noticeable not only in the spirit of the church but in the response of attendance
and in giving last August something happened.
God did something in Venture Christian Church and we began moving out in a new way, a united
way.
And then last fall in the missions conference as Chip came to speak to us and God was in
the process of saying something to our hearts about Him coming as senior pastor.
There's been so much that has happened.
What do you remember?
I hope that you have good memories as I do of not only the good times and the easy times
but good memories too of the tough times and how we grew together through them.
Here's what I hope you'll remember.
Here's what I hope that you'll remember, that in our shared journey over the last ten years
I have loved you and I've taught you the Word of God with sincerity.
If you could remember that, it would bless my heart and I could go away from this farewell
with a full heart giving glory and thanks to God.
I hope that that will linger with you when I'm gone.
You notice a healthy farewell involves a second thing as we pick it up in verse 22, now behold
bound in spirit I'm on my way to Jerusalem not knowing what will happen to me there except
that the Holy Spirit solemnly testifies to me in every city saying that bonds and afflictions
await me.
But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself so that I may finish my
course and the ministry which I've received from the Lord Jesus to testify solemnly of
the gospel of the grace of God.
When you're saying goodbye in a healthy way, the second thing you need to do is to relate
what's important.
Relate what's important.
Whether it be to that child that's leaving for the first grade or for college or that
loved one who's moving across the nation or your son or daughter heading off to war or
saying goodbye to a loved one on the deathbed.
Relate what's important to you.
Paul does that here for Paul it was this that he was confident in the future that it was
in the Lord's hands and that whatever lay ahead, he did not know for sure, but whatever
lay ahead even if it be bonds and afflictions as the spirit was indicating that God would
carry out his plans.
That was his confidence.
He also wanted them to know that he was committed to his personal assignment from Jesus, whatever
the cost would be.
Here's what's important to me is I think of you in saying goodbye, that you will always
hold fast to God's Word and godly values and that you will carry out God's purposes, whatever
the cost in our rapidly changing world.
To remain a church like you are today will not be easy, especially in a world like we're
entering into.
But what I count as so important to my heart is that you will hold fast to it and I hope
that will linger with you after I'm gone.
A healthy goodbye involves something else as we see in verses 25 to 27.
Follow along with me in your Bible.
It says, and now behold I know that all of you among whom I went about preaching the
kingdom will no longer see my face.
For I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all men, for I did not shrink
from declaring to you the whole purpose of God.
And having a healthy goodbye, the third thing is this, deal with the present reality.
Don't live pretending something besides what is true.
Whether it be someone going off to war or someone you're saying goodbye to in the death
bed, if it's a hard goodbye, face that present reality, deal with it.
Paul here knew that separation was imminent.
Now he was wrong about the finality of it.
There's reason to believe that Paul in fact saw the Ephesian church again, but he felt
that the separation was imminent and he faced that reality were it to be true.
But the second part of the reality is that he wanted them to know that he felt relieved
of responsibility for them.
He says, I'm innocent of the blood of all men.
A way of saying, I am released from my responsibility for you.
No matter what job you hold, there's weight with it.
Am I not right?
I mean, there's a burden that you have.
And the same is true with being a pastor of a church, as Dave can testify with me.
There is the burden of the souls of people.
In one sense, you never are released from that burden.
But as a pastor, you have a particular responsibility for people.
And in leaving, today I want to say to you that I feel some relief.
Not relief in any sense that I'm glad to be going, but relief in the sense that now the
burden for your souls will be carried by someone else.
And so here's our present reality today.
My work here is completed.
And I want you to know that it's completed with joy in my heart.
And you now have a new pastor who has my wholehearted support.
I want you to know that.
And if there comes a time when there's something that displeases you about a decision that
Chip makes, don't come to me and complain about it, please.
I won't hear you.
In fact, I'm going to turn you around and march you right back to him because he has
my wholehearted support.
The responsibility for the direction of the church, the responsibility for your souls
is now in his hands.
And I am content with that.
And I support him in it.
And so I hope that that will linger with you, that sense of completion and joy on my part
and my support of him.
I hope that will linger with you while I am gone.
A healthy goodbye involves something else.
Beginning in verse 28, would you read with me, it says, be on guard for yourselves and
for all the flock among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.
To shepherd the church of God which he purchased with his own blood.
I know that after my departure, savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.
And from among your own selves, men will arise, speaking perverse things to draw away the
disciples after them.
Therefore, be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years,
I did not cease to admonish each one of you with tears.
And so when you're having a healthy goodbye, it's important to talk about the future.
What the future is going to be like in your absence or their absence.
That's what Paul does here.
He says, after I'm gone, there's going to be problems.
From the outside and from the inside, Paul expected there would be problems in the church.
Now did Paul have some specific insight that God had given him about this or was he speaking
in general?
I really don't know.
But I can say this today in general, that there are some problems ahead.
How do we know this?
Because we're all human beings and because we have an enemy who will seek to do all that
he can to instill problems in this church.
None of us want to be guilty of doing the devil's work for him.
All we want to do, rather, is to stand in his way and claim the victory of the cross
over him.
That he will not be able to instill effectively problems in the church.
But Paul knew that there would be problems and therefore he charged the elders with watchfulness.
After all, they're the leaders of the church and in particular, they must be on guard.
But the truth is that all of us must be on guard.
That we're all responsible for the welfare and the health of Venture Christian Church
and for its unity.
It's important that we have an honest talk about the future and here's what I foresee.
Venture Christian Church will have a growing, fruitful leadership under Pastor Chip and
the leadership team.
But it will be resisted by spiritual forces.
I have no doubt of that.
Therefore, do your part to protect God's work.
When I'm gone, I hope that what I've just said will linger with you.
We continue reading in verse 32 where Paul says, and now I commend you to God and to
the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among
all those who are sanctified.
A healthy goodbye means that you release those you love to God's care.
Here Paul entrusts the church to God.
He commends the church to God and to the message of grace.
He does so with the confidence that God will fulfill his calling in them.
And I want you to know today that I love you very much and I commend you to God.
That I entrust you as Venture Christian Church to God and to the word of his grace with every
confidence that it will release in you the power of God so that his purpose is fully
accomplished.
Here's what I recognize as I stand here before you for the last time.
Although I am leaving, the Lord is staying and he will complete in you what he has begun.
Know that my heart will always be here in some respect and that I'll always be praying
for you.
But I will be gone.
Jesus is here.
He is not leaving.
He will never forsake you and he will complete what he's begun.
When I'm gone, I hope that lingers with you.
And finally, verses 33 to 35, Paul says to them very honestly, I have coveted no one's
silver or gold or clothes.
You yourselves know that these hands have ministered to my own needs and to the men
who were with me.
In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner, you must help the weak
and remember the words of the Lord Jesus that he himself said, it is more blessed to give
than to what?
Than to receive.
A healthy goodbye involves your reminding them of your values.
Reminding of your values.
For Paul, he seems to pick some very practical life values that he feels are unsurpassed.
First of all, live for something higher than your own greed.
He says don't live to gain for yourself.
Live for something higher than that.
He says secondly, live to serve others.
And third, live for authentic joy.
Authentic joy.
And what does that joy come from?
By being a giver.
Be a giver, not a taker.
This is one of the beatitudes of Jesus that we would never have known if Paul had not
by the Holy Spirit recorded it for us here.
We have no word like this in the Gospels where Jesus made a statement like this.
Live for authentic joy.
So here's what I hope you'll do.
Here's what I hope you'll do.
Graciously forget my failures, and there have been some.
Graciously forget my failures and follow whatever good you found in my example.
I have sought to live out before you the values of God in my life.
I would probably express it a little different than Paul did, and you would probably express
it differently too because each of us has our own slice on what the highest values are.
But I have sought to live out my highest values.
And so follow whatever good you have found in that example.
When I am gone, I hope that will linger with you.
So it says, when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all.
And they began to weep aloud and embrace Paul and repeatedly kissed him, grieving especially
over the word which he had spoken that they would not see his face again.
And they were accompanying him to the ship.
And so the farewell ended.
What happened?
Well, immediately we see what happened.
There was this outburst of emotion and love, this outpouring of affection for Paul because
of his role in their lives.
He had after all been the spiritual father, if you will, of the church, for it was on
his second missionary journey that he went to Ephesus and there proclaimed the gospel
to them.
But what about over time?
What happened over time?
There's no church in the New Testament we know more about than the church of Ephesus
because Timothy was the pastor of the church at Ephesus.
And so we have the epistles to Timothy that give us insight into what happened in the
church in the years that followed.
And then there is in Revelation chapter 2, in the first letter of Jesus to the seven
churches of Asia Minor, more insight regarding where Ephesus was, where the church was some
40 years after Paul had spoken these words to the elders.
And what we find there is that 40 years later, in many respects, the church was doing terrifically
but they had left their first love.
Something of the tears and the passion and the freshness of the love for Jesus was gone
in four decades.
And so I ask the question, what will linger when we've said goodbye?
What will linger next month, next year?
Or if Jesus tarries, what will linger 10 years from now?
I hope that some of the things we've talked about this morning will give you an understanding
of what I pray will linger.
Above all, I pray that your love for Jesus Christ will abound, that it will never cool,
and that your devotion to the body of Jesus Christ, which is His church, will not wane.
Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end, they simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again.
Goodbyes in the family of God are not forever, they cannot be.
For we share together life that is eternal.
And though our relationship changes now, our love for one another need not, nor our confidence
that one day we shall stand together in the presence of Jesus Christ, complete in Him
forever.
Amen?
Would you stand together with me please as I pray?
And following that we're going to sing just a verse and a chorus of a song.
Heavenly Father, I give thanks to you today for this dear body of people with whom you
have privileged me for these 10 years, for some two years, to be their pastor along with
Dave.
I'm sure he joins me in giving thanks to you for the opportunity that we have enjoyed.
And Father, as we say farewell to them, we commend them to you and to the word of your
grace.
And we pray that all of us will follow you wherever you lead us and be willing whatever
the cost to be your faithful followers until that day that we see you face to face.
Amen.
Let's sing together.