WEBVTT 00:00:01.699 --> 00:00:04.480 Things are happening in many different areas 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:08.000 of ministry, and we thank God that his blessing 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.480 is on them, and that includes mops. The Gaithers 00:00:13.480 --> 00:00:16.000 have written so many fine songs that express 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:19.640 our love for the Lord and our gratitude for his 00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:22.980 goodness in our lives. One of them is 138. I'd 00:00:22.980 --> 00:00:26.300 like for us to sing that a cappella. Perhaps 00:00:26.300 --> 00:00:29.559 you know the words. It's one of the more familiar 00:00:29.559 --> 00:00:32.359 ones, the family of God. I'm so glad I'm a part 00:00:32.359 --> 00:00:35.179 of the family of God. If you need the word, there's 00:00:35.179 --> 00:00:45.140 138. I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of 00:00:45.140 --> 00:00:53.560 God. I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed 00:00:53.560 --> 00:01:03.030 by his blood. Join us with Jesus as we travel 00:01:03.030 --> 00:01:13.469 this sun. For I'm part of the family, the family 00:01:13.469 --> 00:01:21.329 of God. Thank you. It's good to be a part of 00:01:21.329 --> 00:01:23.590 God's family through faith in the Lord Jesus 00:01:23.590 --> 00:01:27.939 Christ. And it's good to be a part of a family 00:01:27.939 --> 00:01:30.760 here on earth as well, where we are nurtured 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:35.120 and raised. We're studying together in Ephesians 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:38.200 chapter 6, the first four verses this morning. 00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:42.079 I'd like you to turn there and look at your copy 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:44.920 of the Word of God as I read Ephesians 6, verses 00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:49.359 1 through 4. Children, obey your parents in the 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:53.310 Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and 00:01:53.310 --> 00:01:55.549 mother, which is the first commandment with a 00:01:55.549 --> 00:01:58.689 promise, that it may be well with you and that 00:01:58.689 --> 00:02:02.049 you may live long and be worth. And fathers, 00:02:02.109 --> 00:02:05.650 do not provoke your children to anger, but bring 00:02:05.650 --> 00:02:10.669 them up in the discipline and instruction of 00:02:10.669 --> 00:02:16.629 the Lord. Warren Wisby tells the story of a husband 00:02:16.629 --> 00:02:21.560 who, after watching a TV presentation, about 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:24.120 rebellious youth, turned to his wife and said, 00:02:24.199 --> 00:02:28.319 what a mess. Where did this generation, or where 00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:32.280 did our generation go wrong? And his wife looked 00:02:32.280 --> 00:02:36.900 at him and said calmly, we had children. But 00:02:36.900 --> 00:02:39.639 perhaps you feel that way sometimes. We're living 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:43.060 in a tough day for families. Homes are being 00:02:43.060 --> 00:02:48.139 torn apart. Husbands and wives are divorcing. 00:02:49.310 --> 00:02:53.689 Parents are, in some cases, abusing or neglecting 00:02:53.689 --> 00:02:56.490 their children. And children, on the other hand, 00:02:56.490 --> 00:02:58.990 are often in rebellion against their parents. 00:02:59.810 --> 00:03:04.129 What is the answer to the home problem? Is it 00:03:04.129 --> 00:03:07.189 another social program funded by our tax dollars? 00:03:08.870 --> 00:03:16.150 Is it legislation? Is it education? All of these 00:03:16.150 --> 00:03:19.599 things may have a part to play. But the real 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:22.400 answer is found not in any of these, but rather 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:26.900 in regeneration. That is in a new heart, creating 00:03:26.900 --> 00:03:31.639 a new person who has new life and new ideals, 00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:36.460 new motivation and new power. The Apostle Paul 00:03:36.460 --> 00:03:38.300 has been telling us in the book of Ephesians 00:03:38.300 --> 00:03:40.939 that we are a new people in Jesus Christ and 00:03:40.939 --> 00:03:43.800 that we have a power that is resident within 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:46.879 us. It is the power of his spirit, God's spirit. 00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:50.479 And so he says, be filled with the Spirit of 00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:55.080 God. And in light of that, he says, we are to 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:59.120 treat one another as husbands and wives, as parents 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:02.120 and children, as employees and employers in certain 00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:05.479 ways. The greatest gift a father can give to 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:10.000 his children is to love their mother. That attitude 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.960 of self -giving exhibited in behavior, which 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:18.100 seeks her good, and sets her apart as the most 00:04:18.100 --> 00:04:21.899 special person in the world, which protects her 00:04:21.899 --> 00:04:27.019 faithfully and provides for her tenderly, that 00:04:27.019 --> 00:04:30.660 love will do more to give children a healthy 00:04:30.660 --> 00:04:35.240 home than anything else could. It will go a long 00:04:35.240 --> 00:04:38.740 way toward producing emotionally healthy and 00:04:38.740 --> 00:04:42.540 balanced children. It will further give them 00:04:42.540 --> 00:04:46.279 an appreciation for God. as their heavenly father. 00:04:46.519 --> 00:04:49.100 It will give them an appreciation for him which 00:04:49.100 --> 00:04:52.500 no theological training can give. It comes from 00:04:52.500 --> 00:04:56.439 the home and the way the father loves the mother. 00:04:57.639 --> 00:05:00.000 Likewise, the greatest gift that a mother can 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.180 give to her children is to submit to her husband's 00:05:03.180 --> 00:05:06.480 headship or his functional authority which God 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:10.000 has assigned to him. That spirit of subordination, 00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:14.959 cooperation, and respect will set a godly example 00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:18.180 which the children will tend to follow when they're 00:05:18.180 --> 00:05:21.339 growing up. And it will show them how to respond 00:05:21.339 --> 00:05:24.339 to the God -ordained authorities that they will 00:05:24.339 --> 00:05:27.879 have throughout their lives. Now, to be sure, 00:05:27.899 --> 00:05:31.000 the foundational relationship in the home is 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:35.019 that of the husband and wife. But in many homes, 00:05:35.060 --> 00:05:38.180 it's not the only relationship, because in the 00:05:38.180 --> 00:05:41.509 blessing of God, children come along. And a new 00:05:41.509 --> 00:05:44.930 relationship is created, that of parent and child. 00:05:46.389 --> 00:05:49.149 When that new relationship comes into being, 00:05:49.370 --> 00:05:51.910 there is a new pressure that is put on the marriage, 00:05:52.029 --> 00:05:56.009 which tests and matures the husband and wife 00:05:56.009 --> 00:05:59.829 in their roles, and which creates a new role, 00:05:59.930 --> 00:06:04.350 really, for each of them to fulfill. The Holy 00:06:04.350 --> 00:06:07.509 Spirit's enablement is just as critical in this 00:06:07.509 --> 00:06:11.579 role as parent or as child as it is in the role 00:06:11.579 --> 00:06:17.100 of husband and wife. Biblical commands to children 00:06:17.100 --> 00:06:21.980 and to parents, if practiced through the filling 00:06:21.980 --> 00:06:26.120 of the Holy Spirit, will result in balanced and 00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:30.259 healthy homes. I do not mean pension -free homes. 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:34.220 I wish I could mean that, but I don't mean that. 00:06:34.579 --> 00:06:37.519 I do not mean homes that are without problems. 00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:41.199 Because Christian homes where the Holy Spirit 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:44.379 is controlling the people where Jesus Christ 00:06:44.379 --> 00:06:49.120 is Lord still have problems. But those can be 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:53.639 worked through with satisfying results when the 00:06:53.639 --> 00:06:57.560 word of God is obeyed. Now to children, the word 00:06:57.560 --> 00:07:03.259 of God instructs, obey your parents. Keep in 00:07:03.259 --> 00:07:06.600 mind that children and women were not important 00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:12.459 in the Roman culture. The Apostle Paul, in directly 00:07:12.459 --> 00:07:16.660 addressing both women and children, exalts both 00:07:16.660 --> 00:07:20.220 of them to a proper place. It is significant 00:07:20.220 --> 00:07:25.360 that he directly addresses them. What does he 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:28.220 mean as he says to the children in the congregation 00:07:28.220 --> 00:07:31.500 who will be listening to this epistle, obey your 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:36.259 parents? Well, the word obey means to hear under. 00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:41.839 To hear under. That is to listen and then to 00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:46.259 submit to what is said. The same word is used 00:07:46.259 --> 00:07:51.439 in Mark 4, 41, where the wind and the sea obeyed 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:56.600 Christ. It is also used in 1 Peter 3, 6, where 00:07:56.600 --> 00:08:01.240 it says Sarah obeyed Abraham. It is used in Hebrews 00:08:01.240 --> 00:08:06.839 5, 8, where Christ obeyed the Father. And in 00:08:06.839 --> 00:08:11.600 Luke 2, 51, where it says Christ obeyed his parents. 00:08:11.899 --> 00:08:16.079 In fact, the Greek goes the very same as in Ephesians 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:19.120 5, 21 and 22, where it says that he submitted 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:25.060 himself to his parents. God has placed parents 00:08:25.060 --> 00:08:30.459 in a child's life as representatives of his authority 00:08:30.459 --> 00:08:36.480 over them. To obey one's parent is part of a 00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:39.590 child's service to the Lord. For the apostle 00:08:39.590 --> 00:08:45.289 says here, obey your parents in the Lord. And 00:08:45.289 --> 00:08:47.629 to further explain what he means, he calls upon 00:08:47.629 --> 00:08:49.909 the Old Testament and brings to our attention 00:08:49.909 --> 00:08:54.149 the fifth commandment of the ten. And he quotes 00:08:54.149 --> 00:08:56.889 it in verse two, honor your father and your mother. 00:08:57.350 --> 00:09:02.070 To honor means more than to obey. It is a broader 00:09:02.070 --> 00:09:07.179 concept, which means to revere. to honor or to 00:09:07.179 --> 00:09:12.120 count as valuable. This is the first of the Ten 00:09:12.120 --> 00:09:15.820 Commandments, which dealt with the horizontal 00:09:15.820 --> 00:09:20.100 relationships. Of the ten, the first four dealt 00:09:20.100 --> 00:09:23.179 with the person's relationship to God, the final 00:09:23.179 --> 00:09:27.460 six, the relationship to other people. The very 00:09:27.460 --> 00:09:31.899 first one that deals with society and the follower 00:09:31.899 --> 00:09:34.740 of God deals with the child's relationship to 00:09:34.740 --> 00:09:37.879 his parents. I believe that that shows the bedrock 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:42.700 importance of obedience and honor in the home. 00:09:43.620 --> 00:09:47.000 Why should one do this? Why should one obey his 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:50.299 parents, honor his parents? Well, he seems to 00:09:50.299 --> 00:09:52.480 give us at least two reasons. First of all, in 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:56.500 verse 16 he says, it is right to do so. That 00:09:56.500 --> 00:10:00.019 is, it is proper that we obey our parents. It 00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:04.659 is in accordance with God's righteous rule. over 00:10:04.659 --> 00:10:08.019 his universe. God has said to do it, therefore 00:10:08.019 --> 00:10:13.200 it is right. Parents in the first place beget 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.139 their children. That's another reason that it's 00:10:15.139 --> 00:10:19.659 right. The life of the child comes from the parent, 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:23.139 and because of the fact that they are the origin 00:10:23.139 --> 00:10:26.679 of the child in a human sense, therefore it is 00:10:26.679 --> 00:10:29.460 right that they, the children, should respect 00:10:29.460 --> 00:10:33.450 their parents. Furthermore, Parents are more 00:10:33.450 --> 00:10:37.470 experienced. Therefore, it is right to honor 00:10:37.470 --> 00:10:41.289 them. The Eastern culture is much better at this 00:10:41.289 --> 00:10:44.889 than our Western culture. That does not mean 00:10:44.889 --> 00:10:48.169 that the parent is always right. It doesn't mean 00:10:48.169 --> 00:10:51.350 that the child will always agree and be glad 00:10:51.350 --> 00:10:55.570 to do what the parents say. But it does mean 00:10:55.570 --> 00:10:58.850 that the child is to do it and with a right heart 00:10:58.850 --> 00:11:03.539 attitude. honoring them, reverencing them, because 00:11:03.539 --> 00:11:07.440 the parent is the parent, and because the parent 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:11.279 is wiser, more mature, even though the child 00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:13.519 may not be able to see it at that point, and 00:11:13.519 --> 00:11:16.600 because God has said, do it. Therefore, it is 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:21.120 right. In Colossians 3 .20, the apostle says 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:25.059 that this is well -pleasing to Christ. And then 00:11:25.059 --> 00:11:27.480 a second reason that the child is to obey his 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:30.580 parents is because it brings blessing to do so. 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:33.639 Notice that it says in the last part of verse 00:11:33.639 --> 00:11:36.500 2, this is the first commandment with a promise. 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:40.220 And then it says in verse 3, that it may be well 00:11:40.220 --> 00:11:43.820 with you, that you may live long on the earth. 00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:48.399 Now the promise and the blessing that is involved 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:52.159 here in obeying and honoring one's parents is 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:55.860 that of a satisfying and full life. Now keep 00:11:55.860 --> 00:11:59.500 in mind that this is a general principle. There 00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:02.980 are some very godly children who die at a young 00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:07.399 age. And there are some very wicked children 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:11.919 who live out a full length of years. The principle 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:15.059 is a general one here. But the point is this, 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:19.539 that obedience in a child produces character 00:12:19.539 --> 00:12:23.950 in that child. A character that causes him to 00:12:23.950 --> 00:12:28.769 adopt a lifestyle that tends to make life more 00:12:28.769 --> 00:12:33.809 secure and enjoyable. He tends to avoid sin, 00:12:34.029 --> 00:12:37.789 which corrupts and destroys his life if he learns 00:12:37.789 --> 00:12:41.970 to obey as a child in the home. Again, I quote 00:12:41.970 --> 00:12:47.309 Warren Wisby who says, Sin always robs us. Obedience 00:12:47.309 --> 00:12:53.620 always enriches us. The lack of discipline and 00:12:53.620 --> 00:12:58.159 respect for authority tends to place a child 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:03.460 later on in life in circumstances that tend to 00:13:03.460 --> 00:13:07.019 shorten the life and to make it less secure and 00:13:07.019 --> 00:13:11.080 stable. So the point is that if one learns obedience 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:14.500 in the home, it tends toward a long and satisfying 00:13:14.500 --> 00:13:18.600 life. That is a promise and a blessing that God 00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:21.259 gives. So why should a child obey his parents? 00:13:21.940 --> 00:13:24.159 For this reason, the blessing that we've just 00:13:24.159 --> 00:13:27.080 described. Now whenever this is talked about, 00:13:27.100 --> 00:13:30.120 there are some questions that arise. One of them 00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:33.659 is, does a child absolutely have to obey his 00:13:33.659 --> 00:13:37.600 parents? Only in the sense that we talked about 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.419 the wife submitting to her husband. If a parent 00:13:41.419 --> 00:13:44.340 commands a child to do something that is illegal, 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:47.940 or immoral than a child is not obligated before 00:13:47.940 --> 00:13:51.980 God to obey his parents in the Lord. Because 00:13:51.980 --> 00:13:54.179 there is a higher principle that comes into play, 00:13:54.299 --> 00:13:56.220 and that is the principle of obeying God rather 00:13:56.220 --> 00:14:00.220 than men in those cases. But the general principle 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:04.860 is one of obedience. Then the question is, how 00:14:04.860 --> 00:14:08.480 long must I obey my parents? I'm 45 years old 00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:10.620 now. Do I have to obey what my mother and father 00:14:10.620 --> 00:14:16.700 tell me? The honor aspect of it, the reverence, 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:23.000 is lifelong. As children, we are always right 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:26.860 to reverence and to respect our parents. Until 00:14:26.860 --> 00:14:29.840 that day that they go to be with the Lord, let 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:32.419 us be careful to give them the kind of reverence 00:14:32.419 --> 00:14:35.379 and respect which they deserve because they're 00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:38.220 mom and dad. There comes a time when you can 00:14:38.220 --> 00:14:41.440 no longer give that kind of respect and reverence 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:44.690 to them. And I urge you to do that. I urge you 00:14:44.690 --> 00:14:46.690 to do that. Of course, I speak out of my own 00:14:46.690 --> 00:14:49.970 personal experience. A couple of years ago, I 00:14:49.970 --> 00:14:52.149 did something that I am very grateful now that 00:14:52.149 --> 00:14:56.110 I did. When I turned 40 and got over the hill, 00:14:56.350 --> 00:15:00.750 on my birthday, I wrote my mother a long letter. 00:15:02.429 --> 00:15:04.950 Now, throughout my life, I have tried at various 00:15:04.950 --> 00:15:07.570 times to say things to her to communicate my 00:15:07.570 --> 00:15:12.519 gratitude for the person that she was. And I 00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:15.700 think I did a fair job of doing that, both in 00:15:15.700 --> 00:15:19.899 verbal speech and in written notes on cards that 00:15:19.899 --> 00:15:24.799 I would send. But when I turned 40, I wrote her 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.779 a long page -and -a -half type letter in which 00:15:28.779 --> 00:15:33.360 I wrote down, in one place at one sitting, a 00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:35.879 variety of thoughts that I had regarding her 00:15:35.879 --> 00:15:39.940 and expressed my love and respect for her, my 00:15:39.940 --> 00:15:42.840 gratitude. for the way that she raised me as 00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:47.799 a child. I had no idea, of course, that two years 00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:49.899 later that the Lord would take her so suddenly, 00:15:50.019 --> 00:15:54.879 as he did this last August. But I want you to 00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:58.460 know that it has been a great source of comfort 00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:02.419 to me to know that at one point in my life, at 00:16:02.419 --> 00:16:06.159 least, I put into a condensed form my feelings 00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:09.940 for her and showed her my respect and reverence. 00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:14.509 By my words. Now I say that and I share it with 00:16:14.509 --> 00:16:17.029 you, though it's rather intimate, because I would 00:16:17.029 --> 00:16:19.470 like to encourage you who have mothers and fathers 00:16:19.470 --> 00:16:23.789 to do the same thing. It has likewise been a 00:16:23.789 --> 00:16:27.429 comfort to me to go to a written document where 00:16:27.429 --> 00:16:30.429 in black and white I can know that I said certain 00:16:30.429 --> 00:16:32.669 things to her. Because after they're gone, one 00:16:32.669 --> 00:16:35.250 of the things that comes to your mind is, I wonder 00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:39.350 if mom knew this. I wonder if she knew how I 00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:43.460 felt. about that. And there in black and white, 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:46.679 you know that you've said it. And it's a great 00:16:46.679 --> 00:16:49.799 comfort. And so if you can use that hint and 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:51.779 apply it to your life, I hope that you will do 00:16:51.779 --> 00:16:54.820 that. Throughout our lives, no matter how old 00:16:54.820 --> 00:16:57.179 we may get, as long as they're with us, we owe 00:16:57.179 --> 00:17:01.740 them respect and reverence. But obedience is 00:17:01.740 --> 00:17:04.740 a little bit of a different matter. Because as 00:17:04.740 --> 00:17:07.960 a child matures, As he becomes more independent 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:11.440 and less dependent upon the parent, obedience 00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:15.859 likewise diminishes. That obligation to obey 00:17:15.859 --> 00:17:19.619 diminishes after a child has left home, and certainly 00:17:19.619 --> 00:17:21.980 once that marriage has taken place, because a 00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:28.539 new home is then formed. A child's attitude toward 00:17:28.539 --> 00:17:33.920 his or her parents really does reflect his or 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:38.970 her attitude toward God. Rebellion and disobedience 00:17:38.970 --> 00:17:44.130 towards one's parents is sin. Not just sin against 00:17:44.130 --> 00:17:47.170 them, but sin against God who has commanded us 00:17:47.170 --> 00:17:52.250 to obey them. Obedience and honor toward them 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:56.930 is pleasing to God and passes his test. He says 00:17:56.930 --> 00:18:01.190 it is well pleasing that we should so honor them. 00:18:02.470 --> 00:18:07.819 And then there's a word to fathers. Actually, 00:18:07.819 --> 00:18:10.079 this is addressed to parents more generally, 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:12.400 but it says specifically the fathers, because 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:14.940 in that day the father was the absolute ruler 00:18:14.940 --> 00:18:18.480 in the home, sometimes in the pagan culture at 00:18:18.480 --> 00:18:22.059 least, in a rather despotic sense. For example, 00:18:22.140 --> 00:18:24.420 if he desired to reject the child and walked 00:18:24.420 --> 00:18:26.339 away from the child, the child actually could 00:18:26.339 --> 00:18:28.880 be left in the elements to die, uncared for, 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:33.750 if the father chose to do that. And so the fathers 00:18:33.750 --> 00:18:36.509 are addressed by the Apostle Paul, but in a broader 00:18:36.509 --> 00:18:39.950 sense to parents. And I think that what he's 00:18:39.950 --> 00:18:42.950 saying here, I'm going to use my word, he says, 00:18:42.990 --> 00:18:49.690 Parents, shepherd your children. Shepherd your 00:18:49.690 --> 00:18:54.970 children. What does that mean? Well, in the first 00:18:54.970 --> 00:18:57.970 place it means, as he says, do not provoke your 00:18:57.970 --> 00:19:03.420 children to anger. Colossians 3 .21 puts it this 00:19:03.420 --> 00:19:08.400 way, Do not exasperate your children. That's 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:12.599 in the present tense here. It means do not practice 00:19:12.599 --> 00:19:16.160 or make it a habit in your life to create deep 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:21.559 -seated, ongoing hostility. There are times that 00:19:21.559 --> 00:19:25.380 children will become angry and upset. They have 00:19:25.380 --> 00:19:29.029 that right. They're human beings. They have to 00:19:29.029 --> 00:19:31.470 learn how to control their anger and to express 00:19:31.470 --> 00:19:34.170 it in a right way, and we have to teach them 00:19:34.170 --> 00:19:37.309 that. It is not good for them simply to suppress 00:19:37.309 --> 00:19:39.529 their anger and for us to try to force them to 00:19:39.529 --> 00:19:43.450 suppress their anger. There are times when children 00:19:43.450 --> 00:19:46.250 will be angry with what we do because they do 00:19:46.250 --> 00:19:50.130 not understand in their immaturity. But the point 00:19:50.130 --> 00:19:53.349 the apostle is making here is this. We are not 00:19:53.349 --> 00:19:58.769 to purposely create anger. We are not to gird 00:19:58.769 --> 00:20:05.430 our children into resentful, angry responses 00:20:05.430 --> 00:20:08.609 so that they become resentful, angry people. 00:20:09.789 --> 00:20:13.529 That's what the apostle is saying. How does a 00:20:13.529 --> 00:20:18.009 parent do that? Let me suggest ten ways to create 00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:22.150 an angry, resentful child. If you would like 00:20:22.150 --> 00:20:24.930 to do that, I want to give you ten ways that 00:20:24.930 --> 00:20:28.720 will be full proof to do it. First of all, by 00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:34.380 establishing rules that are unreasonable. Establish 00:20:34.380 --> 00:20:37.140 rules just for the sake of having rules or for 00:20:37.140 --> 00:20:42.740 proving your authority over them. Rules that 00:20:42.740 --> 00:20:45.819 have no sense or reason to them. And you will 00:20:45.819 --> 00:20:50.599 create an angry child. By blaming and never praising 00:20:50.599 --> 00:20:54.619 them. The second way to do it. And firstly, blame 00:20:54.619 --> 00:20:58.380 them for your problems. Say when something goes 00:20:58.380 --> 00:21:01.680 wrong with you in your life or your circumstances, 00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:04.180 you turn to the children and say, this is your 00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:07.440 fault, in essence. You say, oh, that kind of 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:12.579 thing never happens. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. 00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:20.799 Third, by nagging. By overcorrection of children. 00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:26.440 Being too harsh with them in discipline. Fourth, 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:30.660 by playing favorites. Now not everything in life 00:21:30.660 --> 00:21:34.920 is equal and fair. I suppose you parents get 00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:37.440 the same thing that we get. That's not fair. 00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:41.259 And kids have to learn not everything in life 00:21:41.259 --> 00:21:43.759 is going to be fair. Not everything in life can 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:50.509 be cut exactly in equal portions. That's the 00:21:50.509 --> 00:21:53.089 way life is. But on the other hand, we ought 00:21:53.089 --> 00:21:56.170 not to play favorites with our children. As I 00:21:56.170 --> 00:21:58.490 was growing up, when I was about nine or ten, 00:21:58.730 --> 00:22:03.529 my grandmother was still living. And for some 00:22:03.529 --> 00:22:06.589 reason, she especially liked me. I think it was 00:22:06.589 --> 00:22:09.049 because of my pleasant personality and delightful 00:22:09.049 --> 00:22:15.910 childhood. I do not know why, but she especially 00:22:15.910 --> 00:22:20.349 liked me and favored me. over my two brothers 00:22:20.349 --> 00:22:26.289 and sister. And that would be very tangible at 00:22:26.289 --> 00:22:29.569 times, at birthday time, or we'd go to her house 00:22:29.569 --> 00:22:32.490 and there would be treats, or whatever. It was 00:22:32.490 --> 00:22:37.349 made very clear that Galen got the bigger portion, 00:22:37.490 --> 00:22:42.630 or got more. And finally my mother had to sit 00:22:42.630 --> 00:22:47.289 down her mother and say, stop it. And she didn't 00:22:47.289 --> 00:22:50.880 do it a day too soon. So whether it's mom or 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:53.140 dad or grandpa or grandma, there's no place for 00:22:53.140 --> 00:22:58.519 playing favorites. And then by setting too high 00:22:58.519 --> 00:23:00.859 a standard, you can create a resentful child. 00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:04.519 Putting the standard up here when the child doing 00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:08.279 his very best can come only to this point. There 00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:10.839 are times when we try to live out our frustrations 00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:15.339 from our own childhood by placing upon our children 00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:17.759 certain expectations or burdens. We ought never 00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:21.049 to do that. but to allow them to be themselves. 00:23:23.309 --> 00:23:26.230 So never set too high a standard that leads to 00:23:26.230 --> 00:23:31.829 frustration, whether it be in memorizing scripture, 00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:35.589 or it be in athletics, or in academics, whatever 00:23:35.589 --> 00:23:38.369 realm of life it may be in. Be careful of doing 00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:40.410 that. Set the standard high enough to challenge, 00:23:40.470 --> 00:23:43.450 to be sure, so the child will do his best, but 00:23:43.450 --> 00:23:46.220 give that child a sense. of having accomplished 00:23:46.220 --> 00:23:49.200 and pleased you too. Oh, that is so important. 00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:52.480 Do you know that there are adults sitting here 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:54.980 today in this auditorium who are still striving 00:23:54.980 --> 00:23:58.519 to hear from their parents one time, you did 00:23:58.519 --> 00:24:06.019 a good job? That's tragic. Parents need to reassure 00:24:06.019 --> 00:24:08.220 their children that they've done well, that they've 00:24:08.220 --> 00:24:11.940 met the standards. And then by disciplining in 00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:14.920 an inconsistent and unloving manner. you can 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:17.619 create an angry child. A child that does not 00:24:17.619 --> 00:24:20.539 know what the standard is. And then discipline 00:24:20.539 --> 00:24:23.099 comes raining down upon his head, inconsistently 00:24:23.099 --> 00:24:28.140 and without love. We need to treat our children 00:24:28.140 --> 00:24:30.299 with respect in this sense. Let them know what 00:24:30.299 --> 00:24:33.099 the standard is, what is expected of them, and 00:24:33.099 --> 00:24:35.240 then be consistent and loving in the application 00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:37.839 of discipline. And I don't think there's a harder 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:41.099 thing for a parent to do than that. At least 00:24:41.099 --> 00:24:45.000 for this parent to do than that. And then by 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:48.160 failing to keep your promises, you can create 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:52.000 an angry, resentful child. It's important to 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:55.440 follow through. Yes, you'll have to put up with 00:24:55.440 --> 00:25:00.599 statements like, but you promised at times. And 00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:02.920 there are times when you cannot fulfill a promise. 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:06.720 Children need to learn that. That there are times 00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:09.079 because of circumstances out of your control, 00:25:09.140 --> 00:25:12.759 you cannot do what you said you would do. We 00:25:12.759 --> 00:25:15.380 never fail to keep a promise just because you 00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:24.440 are, dare I say it, too lazy to fulfill it. A 00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:27.539 child is able to read that pretty quickly. And 00:25:27.539 --> 00:25:30.940 then by never admitting a mistake, you can create 00:25:30.940 --> 00:25:34.099 an angry child. We have to be able to say to 00:25:34.099 --> 00:25:37.240 our children, I'm sorry, I blew it, will you 00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:41.609 forgive me? I had occasion last night to discipline 00:25:41.609 --> 00:25:46.789 two of my children. Not unusual at all. I don't 00:25:46.789 --> 00:25:50.130 point it out because it's unusual. But I point 00:25:50.130 --> 00:25:52.930 it out because I disciplined them in anger. I 00:25:52.930 --> 00:25:56.230 was tired, and I was not ready to put up with 00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:57.990 what I had to put up with at 10 o 'clock at night. 00:25:59.589 --> 00:26:01.789 And about 15 minutes later, as I was studying 00:26:01.789 --> 00:26:08.690 my message for today, I realized that I was going 00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:10.630 to have a wonderful illustration for this point. 00:26:12.069 --> 00:26:14.950 And so I went in, and I did what's difficult 00:26:14.950 --> 00:26:17.049 for all of us to do, but important to do, and 00:26:17.049 --> 00:26:19.009 I said, and I won't tell you who it was, but 00:26:19.009 --> 00:26:22.029 I said, I'm sorry. I disciplined you in anger. 00:26:22.069 --> 00:26:25.289 I don't like what you did, and I'm tired, but 00:26:25.289 --> 00:26:27.250 I should not have become angry when I disciplined 00:26:27.250 --> 00:26:30.250 you. Will you forgive me? Well, it took a while, 00:26:30.250 --> 00:26:32.029 but finally there was a yes response, so I was 00:26:32.029 --> 00:26:35.980 glad for that. and then by mocking their childish 00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:40.359 concerns. Can you imagine a parent doing that? 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:43.279 That's foreign to me, so it's hard for me to 00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:45.319 imagine it. It's like it may be foreign for some 00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:47.220 to imagine a parent getting angry when they discipline. 00:26:49.980 --> 00:26:52.200 But I can't imagine a parent mocking a child, 00:26:52.259 --> 00:26:56.559 but I know of parents who've done that. We don't 00:26:56.559 --> 00:26:59.480 have to play games with our kids. I have a dear 00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:03.880 friend who's in heaven. who had two daughters. 00:27:04.940 --> 00:27:09.339 And this fellow dabbled in psychology. And so 00:27:09.339 --> 00:27:12.859 he experimented on his two kids. I don't think 00:27:12.859 --> 00:27:17.799 I've ever forgiven him for this. Probably should. 00:27:19.539 --> 00:27:28.069 And I do, if you're listening. With one daughter, 00:27:28.170 --> 00:27:31.210 he would frown and in a gruff voice say, I love 00:27:31.210 --> 00:27:34.509 you. And with the other daughter, he would smile 00:27:34.509 --> 00:27:38.690 and in a warm and tender voice say, I don't like 00:27:38.690 --> 00:27:42.329 you, or say, I don't like you. And so he would 00:27:42.329 --> 00:27:45.730 use the opposite expression on his face and voice 00:27:45.730 --> 00:27:50.029 with what he was trying to communicate. Now you 00:27:50.029 --> 00:27:52.930 know why I had a hard time forgiving him. I think 00:27:52.930 --> 00:27:55.089 that that was a real mistake, and I think he 00:27:55.089 --> 00:27:58.039 learned it too. Don't play games with your kids. 00:27:59.019 --> 00:28:02.460 Finally, by exhibiting hypocrisy in your life, 00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:07.960 you can create an angry child. How long do you 00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:11.779 think it takes a child to see through? Well, 00:28:11.779 --> 00:28:13.980 you go to Sunday school. You go to Sunday school 00:28:13.980 --> 00:28:17.400 and then you go out for a cup of coffee. I've 00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:23.460 known parents who've done that. Oh my, a memory 00:28:23.460 --> 00:28:27.619 comes to mind. We used to have a group of parents 00:28:27.619 --> 00:28:30.740 who did this in the church in Kentucky. They 00:28:30.740 --> 00:28:33.160 would drop their kids off in Sunday school, and 00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:35.160 about a block away there was this little restaurant. 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.019 And every Sunday morning during Sunday school, 00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:40.900 they would go over there and drink coffee. So 00:28:40.900 --> 00:28:43.000 one Sunday morning I left the class that I taught, 00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:44.940 and I walked out of the church a block and went 00:28:44.940 --> 00:28:47.640 down there in the restaurant and greeted all 00:28:47.640 --> 00:28:49.180 of them in the restaurant, turned around and 00:28:49.180 --> 00:28:51.640 came back to the church. You know what? It stopped 00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:55.000 their behavior. They finally realized what they 00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:58.660 were doing. That kind of hypocrisy will tear 00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:02.579 up a child. We have to live consistently as possible 00:29:02.579 --> 00:29:05.059 before our children. We tell them that they need 00:29:05.059 --> 00:29:06.940 to respect God, they need to respect the church, 00:29:06.980 --> 00:29:09.539 and then we criticize other believers, and we 00:29:09.539 --> 00:29:12.160 gossip and criticize the church. What is that 00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:14.559 going to do to a child? You know what it does. 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.460 These will break a child's spirit. Now the opposite 00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:22.400 of what we're talking about is encouraging, shepherding 00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:25.700 a child. So you take those ten rules that I've 00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:28.900 given you, reverse them, and you'll have a marvelous 00:29:28.900 --> 00:29:32.380 pattern for shepherding and encouraging your 00:29:32.380 --> 00:29:35.119 children. The apostle goes on here to say, bring 00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:37.779 them up or nurture them, that is, provide tender 00:29:37.779 --> 00:29:44.460 care. The responsibility of a parent is to bring 00:29:44.460 --> 00:29:48.400 a child to maturity and to independence. As we 00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:51.420 learned so effectively at our seminar last weekend, 00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:54.880 our goal is, by the time they're 18, to make 00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:58.900 them independent as human beings. After going 00:29:58.900 --> 00:30:00.980 to do that, the Word of God tells us that there 00:30:00.980 --> 00:30:03.019 are two actions that are involved. First of all, 00:30:03.019 --> 00:30:06.539 there's discipline. And then there is instruction. 00:30:06.920 --> 00:30:09.740 Discipline refers to child training or to education. 00:30:10.619 --> 00:30:14.670 It refers to correcting... A child with regard 00:30:14.670 --> 00:30:17.829 to established rules. The emphasis here is upon 00:30:17.829 --> 00:30:21.970 action that we take with them. Exercises that 00:30:21.970 --> 00:30:24.549 we may put them through. Experiences that we 00:30:24.549 --> 00:30:27.789 may take them through. That we may discipline 00:30:27.789 --> 00:30:33.789 them. Hebrews 12 verses 5 through 13 speaks at 00:30:33.789 --> 00:30:37.289 length regarding this aspect of bringing up a 00:30:37.289 --> 00:30:40.869 child. It means to place them under restriction. 00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:48.440 It means to send them through exercises in life 00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:54.180 that will show them by action what it means to 00:30:54.180 --> 00:30:59.380 obey. No one naturally likes to be restrained. 00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.019 No one likes to have rules, but that's a critical 00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:06.140 part of development. Character is produced in 00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:09.720 the crucible of loving discipline. And that's 00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:13.380 our responsibility as parents. And secondly, 00:31:13.539 --> 00:31:18.480 by instruction we bring them up. The word instruction 00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:22.680 deals with admonition, encouragement, or rebuke. 00:31:23.940 --> 00:31:27.940 Here the emphasis is upon training by word as 00:31:27.940 --> 00:31:31.759 well as action. And the key text undoubtedly 00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:34.660 is Deuteronomy 6, and I'd like you just quickly 00:31:34.660 --> 00:31:38.200 for a few seconds to look back there, Deuteronomy 00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:50.009 chapter 6. Now this is the commandment, the statutes 00:31:50.009 --> 00:31:52.049 and the judgments, which the Lord your God has 00:31:52.049 --> 00:31:57.029 commanded me to teach you, says Moses, that you 00:31:57.029 --> 00:32:01.450 might do them. Notice in verse 2 he says, to 00:32:01.450 --> 00:32:04.250 keep all his statutes and commandments. Verse 00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:08.410 3, be careful to do. So the first thing we have 00:32:08.410 --> 00:32:11.049 to understand that as we teach our children verbally, 00:32:11.069 --> 00:32:14.190 it's not just to communicate facts to them, but 00:32:14.190 --> 00:32:16.509 we are seeking to get them to act upon those 00:32:16.509 --> 00:32:20.519 facts. That's important. He is not simply saying, 00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:24.420 give your children certain knowledge, but get 00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:27.339 them to go to the next step, to act upon what 00:32:27.339 --> 00:32:31.740 you have told them. And verse 4 says, Here, Israel, 00:32:31.940 --> 00:32:36.019 the Lord is our God. The Lord is our God. The 00:32:36.019 --> 00:32:39.799 Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your 00:32:39.799 --> 00:32:42.599 God with all your heart, with all your soul, 00:32:42.740 --> 00:32:46.269 with all your might. And these words which I 00:32:46.269 --> 00:32:48.910 am commanding you today shall be on your heart, 00:32:49.009 --> 00:32:51.970 he says, and you shall teach them diligently 00:32:51.970 --> 00:32:55.210 to your sons, and shall talk of them when you 00:32:55.210 --> 00:32:57.410 sit in your house, when you walk by the way, 00:32:57.549 --> 00:33:00.049 when you lie down, when you rise up, and you 00:33:00.049 --> 00:33:02.529 shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they 00:33:02.529 --> 00:33:05.329 shall be as frontals on your forehead, and you 00:33:05.329 --> 00:33:07.549 shall write them on the doorposts of your house 00:33:07.549 --> 00:33:11.750 and on your gates. What he is saying here is 00:33:11.750 --> 00:33:15.849 that our Christian education begins in the home, 00:33:15.910 --> 00:33:20.970 not in the Sunday school class, not in the Christian 00:33:20.970 --> 00:33:25.549 school classroom, but in the home. That's the 00:33:25.549 --> 00:33:29.630 foundation of Christian education. Parents are 00:33:29.630 --> 00:33:33.750 to teach. That means to transfer certain concepts 00:33:33.750 --> 00:33:38.250 to change the child's life. Now, he tells us 00:33:38.250 --> 00:33:41.650 that we are to communicate who God is. The Lord 00:33:41.650 --> 00:33:47.250 is God. He is one God. We are to teach who God 00:33:47.250 --> 00:33:51.349 is, and we are to teach what God says. We are 00:33:51.349 --> 00:33:53.630 to teach who God is so that they might respect 00:33:53.630 --> 00:33:57.450 him. We are to teach what God says so they might 00:33:57.450 --> 00:33:59.789 obey him. Do those two words sound familiar? 00:34:00.769 --> 00:34:05.730 Respect, obey. And then notice how he says to 00:34:05.730 --> 00:34:08.570 do it. He says, when you sit, you walk, you lie 00:34:08.570 --> 00:34:10.789 down, you rise up. In other words, in the ordinary 00:34:10.789 --> 00:34:13.449 course of life. We are to teach our children, 00:34:13.510 --> 00:34:17.389 first of all, by role models. In the ordinary 00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:20.329 course of life, we are to set before them the 00:34:20.329 --> 00:34:23.989 pattern of how our lives should be lived in obedience 00:34:23.989 --> 00:34:27.929 to who God is and what he said. And then he says, 00:34:27.989 --> 00:34:29.889 you shall bind them as a sign in your hand, the 00:34:29.889 --> 00:34:33.030 funnels in your forehead. He's saying here, I 00:34:33.030 --> 00:34:34.630 believe, that we ought to use object lessons. 00:34:36.090 --> 00:34:39.369 There need to be physical and tangible reminders. 00:34:40.429 --> 00:34:43.329 or illustrations or pictures for our children, 00:34:43.449 --> 00:34:46.150 because that's how they learn. They're big on 00:34:46.150 --> 00:34:49.570 that. They need to get it through the eye gates, 00:34:49.809 --> 00:34:53.769 object lessons. And a third way that we teach 00:34:53.769 --> 00:34:56.769 them is through what he says in verse 9. I'm 00:34:56.769 --> 00:35:00.389 calling that public witness. He says, put on 00:35:00.389 --> 00:35:02.769 your doorposts and on the gates of your house 00:35:02.769 --> 00:35:05.750 these things that God has said. In other words, 00:35:05.750 --> 00:35:07.730 there is to be a certain public declaration. 00:35:08.750 --> 00:35:11.230 that this home follows the Lord, that Jesus Christ 00:35:11.230 --> 00:35:14.789 is Lord in this home. It's public witness. If 00:35:14.789 --> 00:35:16.849 you want to have an impact upon your children 00:35:16.849 --> 00:35:18.869 and bring them to spiritual maturity, it must 00:35:18.869 --> 00:35:22.690 be by discipline and by instruction. Discipline, 00:35:22.690 --> 00:35:26.010 putting them through the paces, learning by action, 00:35:26.150 --> 00:35:30.230 instruction, teaching them by word, who God is, 00:35:30.269 --> 00:35:33.530 what God says, and doing that through our role 00:35:33.530 --> 00:35:37.070 model, object lessons, and through a public witness. 00:35:37.769 --> 00:35:42.730 on our part that we are the Lord's. One of the 00:35:42.730 --> 00:35:45.449 greatest examples of a parent that can be found 00:35:45.449 --> 00:35:47.829 in church history, I think, is Susanna Wesley. 00:35:49.250 --> 00:35:53.969 She was married to Samuel. They had 19 children. 00:35:56.690 --> 00:36:01.329 Eight of them died in infancy or childhood. So 00:36:01.329 --> 00:36:03.110 there was a lot of sorrow in their home, but 00:36:03.110 --> 00:36:08.090 11 lived to maturity. Two of them were John and 00:36:08.090 --> 00:36:13.309 Charles Wesley, the founders of Methodism. They 00:36:13.309 --> 00:36:15.670 were very disciplined men, and they learned that 00:36:15.670 --> 00:36:20.210 discipline in their home. Now, it brings Susanna 00:36:20.210 --> 00:36:23.929 Wesley to your attention for a specific reason, 00:36:24.010 --> 00:36:27.769 because she was, at times at least, a single 00:36:27.769 --> 00:36:31.030 parent. She and her husband did not get along, 00:36:31.269 --> 00:36:33.869 although he was a preacher in the Church of England. 00:36:35.690 --> 00:36:38.050 In fact, they were separated for many months 00:36:38.050 --> 00:36:41.050 at one time. As I recall, it was for 14 months. 00:36:41.829 --> 00:36:46.170 He left her and lived elsewhere because his wife 00:36:46.170 --> 00:36:49.969 refused to pray for the king of England. She 00:36:49.969 --> 00:36:53.190 would not do that. He insisted she do it. She 00:36:53.190 --> 00:36:56.289 would not. He left home. And she was left with 00:36:56.289 --> 00:36:58.869 the kids. We can imagine what kind of a marriage 00:36:58.869 --> 00:37:01.489 that was because there were other occasions like 00:37:01.489 --> 00:37:07.329 that. On one occasion, she wrote, to him. The 00:37:07.329 --> 00:37:10.110 children of this family were taught, as soon 00:37:10.110 --> 00:37:14.150 as they could speak, the Lord's Prayer, which 00:37:14.150 --> 00:37:17.190 they were made to say at rising and bedtime constantly, 00:37:17.510 --> 00:37:20.369 to which, as they grew bigger, were added the 00:37:20.369 --> 00:37:23.409 short prayer for their parents and some collects, 00:37:23.710 --> 00:37:26.969 a short catechism, and some portion of scripture 00:37:26.969 --> 00:37:29.829 as their memories could bear. They were very 00:37:29.829 --> 00:37:32.369 early made to distinguish the Sabbath from other 00:37:32.369 --> 00:37:35.710 days before they could well speak or go. They 00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:38.849 were soon taught to be still at family prayers 00:37:38.849 --> 00:37:42.170 and to ask a blessing immediately after, which 00:37:42.170 --> 00:37:44.769 they used to do by signs before they could kneel 00:37:44.769 --> 00:37:50.409 or speak. This was begun, she said, the custom 00:37:50.409 --> 00:37:53.449 of singing psalms at beginning and leaving school, 00:37:53.570 --> 00:37:56.679 morning and evening. Then also that of a general 00:37:56.679 --> 00:37:59.380 retirement at 5 o 'clock was entered upon. Can 00:37:59.380 --> 00:38:01.800 you imagine retiring at 5 o 'clock in the afternoon? 00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:05.480 Then the oldest took the youngest that could 00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:08.219 speak, and the second the next, to whom they 00:38:08.219 --> 00:38:11.360 read the Psalms for the day, and a chapter in 00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:14.440 the New Testament. And in the morning they were 00:38:14.440 --> 00:38:16.260 directed to read the Psalms and a chapter in 00:38:16.260 --> 00:38:18.860 the Old, after which they went to their private 00:38:18.860 --> 00:38:21.539 prayers before they got their breakfast or came 00:38:21.539 --> 00:38:26.230 into the family. And then she writes, once a 00:38:26.230 --> 00:38:28.269 week she would converse with each of her children 00:38:28.269 --> 00:38:31.489 separately concerning the things of God and their 00:38:31.489 --> 00:38:34.329 spiritual interests. To quote her, she said, 00:38:34.389 --> 00:38:36.909 I take such a portion of time as I can spare 00:38:36.909 --> 00:38:40.869 every night to discourse with each child separately. 00:38:43.590 --> 00:38:46.429 And here is a woman who had a marriage that was 00:38:46.429 --> 00:38:50.809 less than happy, and at times was a single parent. 00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:56.210 But she stands before us all today as a mother 00:38:56.210 --> 00:39:01.750 who set a good example. History records that 00:39:01.750 --> 00:39:04.250 she was not especially an affectionate person. 00:39:04.809 --> 00:39:07.550 She was a woman who knew how to communicate important 00:39:07.550 --> 00:39:11.469 things to her children. And literally because 00:39:11.469 --> 00:39:15.230 of the faithful raising of her children, particularly 00:39:15.230 --> 00:39:18.949 Charles and John and their lives, she shook the 00:39:18.949 --> 00:39:22.489 whole Western world. to the revivals that came 00:39:22.489 --> 00:39:26.110 about because of their ministry. Now we live 00:39:26.110 --> 00:39:27.929 in a different day. We can't use all the same 00:39:27.929 --> 00:39:30.010 methods that Susanna Wesley might have used. 00:39:30.969 --> 00:39:34.989 But dear folks, let's follow in her train with 00:39:34.989 --> 00:39:39.389 the methods that work today, shepherding our 00:39:39.389 --> 00:39:43.090 children. Both of these commands to parents and 00:39:43.090 --> 00:39:46.489 to children are given in the Lord. That is, he 00:39:46.489 --> 00:39:49.210 must be the center of the home, and he must be 00:39:49.210 --> 00:39:55.929 the Lord. What is at stake in our doing this 00:39:55.929 --> 00:40:00.469 or not doing it? The answer is very simple. The 00:40:00.469 --> 00:40:06.289 next generation and maybe the history of our 00:40:06.289 --> 00:40:11.329 whole culture. Dave Simmons said, there is a 00:40:11.329 --> 00:40:16.690 transgenerational commission as well as a transcontinental 00:40:16.690 --> 00:40:20.579 commission. We talk a lot about the commission 00:40:20.579 --> 00:40:24.360 to go to other continents. But likewise, there 00:40:24.360 --> 00:40:27.719 is in the Word of God a commission for one generation 00:40:27.719 --> 00:40:33.079 to impact the next for Jesus Christ. And we who 00:40:33.079 --> 00:40:35.940 are parents have a unique opportunity of doing 00:40:35.940 --> 00:40:39.179 just that. But for us to do that and for children 00:40:39.179 --> 00:40:42.000 to obey us requires the Holy Spirit to enable 00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:47.019 us. Oh, may the Holy Spirit work in our lives 00:40:47.019 --> 00:40:50.440 today. Creating in us, first of all, a deep desire 00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:54.619 to do what God has said. And then a faithful 00:40:54.619 --> 00:40:59.260 dependence upon him to do these things. Let's 00:40:59.260 --> 00:41:08.900 bow together. Our time is gone. There's no more 00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:14.679 time for singing. No more time for sharing together 00:41:14.679 --> 00:41:22.519 in... worship. But as this time comes to a close, 00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:27.519 there is still time for response. I hope that 00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:29.920 this message has not laid a guilt trip on anyone, 00:41:30.219 --> 00:41:34.159 at least without also giving the answers to what 00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:37.199 to do about it. There are no perfect parents 00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:40.320 any more than there are perfect children. But 00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:45.340 God has set before us a command. And if he gave 00:41:45.340 --> 00:41:49.050 us the command, he expects us to be able through 00:41:49.050 --> 00:41:52.469 the power of the Holy Spirit, to essentially 00:41:52.469 --> 00:41:58.909 obey it. Right where you're seated, as a child, 00:41:59.110 --> 00:42:03.730 and everyone here is the child of someone, if 00:42:03.730 --> 00:42:06.190 you can still show respect and honor to your 00:42:06.190 --> 00:42:10.170 parents, will you commit yourself to God to do 00:42:10.170 --> 00:42:15.929 that? That may mean making a phone call or writing 00:42:15.929 --> 00:42:20.320 a letter. To ask forgiveness. To make the relationship 00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:28.519 right. Will you do what you can so that your 00:42:28.519 --> 00:42:32.679 parents are respected and revered? And then for 00:42:32.679 --> 00:42:37.219 those of us who are parents, who have children 00:42:37.219 --> 00:42:41.900 small or grown, the relationship with them remains 00:42:41.900 --> 00:42:44.699 the same, although our responsibility for them 00:42:44.699 --> 00:42:50.219 changes as they grow older. Do you have the kind 00:42:50.219 --> 00:42:52.280 of relationship with your children that honors 00:42:52.280 --> 00:42:58.340 God? Particularly those of us who have small 00:42:58.340 --> 00:43:03.039 children. Would you today join me in a fresh 00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:06.900 commitment to nurture them, to bring them through 00:43:06.900 --> 00:43:11.340 the process of maturity to be men and women of 00:43:11.340 --> 00:43:18.980 God? Father, we today call upon you. for the 00:43:18.980 --> 00:43:24.300 strength that we need the consistency that we 00:43:24.300 --> 00:43:28.960 need the humility that we need the example that 00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:33.719 we want to set i pray that you would live through 00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:38.800 us as children live through us as parents as 00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:43.360 that applies so that we might obey this word 00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:46.579 and in so doing bring glory to you and have an 00:43:46.579 --> 00:43:52.690 impact upon the next generation. In Jesus' name, 00:43:52.869 --> 00:43:53.849 amen.