WEBVTT 00:00:02.199 --> 00:00:05.179 As you're doing so, I remind you that on Sunday 00:00:05.179 --> 00:00:10.240 evenings we are undertaking a study of prophecy 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:13.599 and tonight part seven of that series dealing 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.500 with the resurrection of the dead. So we hope 00:00:17.500 --> 00:00:22.679 that you'll be back this evening. Our text today 00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:26.399 begins in verse 25, so would you join with me, 00:00:26.420 --> 00:00:28.339 please, as we read the word of God. I'll read, 00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.379 you follow along in your translation that you 00:00:30.379 --> 00:00:34.039 have in your lap. Husbands, love your wives just 00:00:34.039 --> 00:00:36.780 as Christ also loved the church and gave himself 00:00:36.780 --> 00:00:40.600 up for her, that he might sanctify her, having 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:43.780 cleansed her by the washing of water with the 00:00:43.780 --> 00:00:47.979 word, that he might present to himself the church 00:00:47.979 --> 00:00:52.170 in all her glory. having no spot or wrinkle or 00:00:52.170 --> 00:00:55.630 any such thing, but that she should be holy and 00:00:55.630 --> 00:00:59.990 blameless. So husbands ought also to love their 00:00:59.990 --> 00:01:03.689 own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his 00:01:03.689 --> 00:01:07.709 own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated 00:01:07.709 --> 00:01:10.569 his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, 00:01:10.689 --> 00:01:14.370 just as Christ also does the church, because 00:01:14.370 --> 00:01:18.019 we are members of his body. For this cause a 00:01:18.019 --> 00:01:20.260 man shall leave his father and mother and shall 00:01:20.260 --> 00:01:23.140 cleave to his wife, and the two shall become 00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:27.659 one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking 00:01:27.659 --> 00:01:31.060 with reference to Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, 00:01:31.260 --> 00:01:34.780 let each individual among you also love his own 00:01:34.780 --> 00:01:38.840 wife even as himself, and let the wife see to 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:42.719 it that she respect her husband. Let's bow together, 00:01:42.859 --> 00:01:48.010 please, in prayer. Maybe you remember the words 00:01:48.010 --> 00:01:50.090 to this chorus. Would you sing it with me if 00:01:50.090 --> 00:01:59.750 you do? Holy Spirit, thou art welcome in this 00:01:59.750 --> 00:02:25.360 place. Omnipotent Father, have mercy and grace. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:37.240 Thou art welcome in this place. And Lord, we 00:02:37.240 --> 00:02:40.719 mean that. We have sensed your presence here 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:45.280 and we worship you. And do now speak to us, we 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:49.039 pray, through your holy word. Open our hearts 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:52.699 to receive it. And may it be planted deeply within 00:02:52.699 --> 00:02:55.819 that it might bear fruit in our lives. In Jesus' 00:02:55.939 --> 00:03:02.960 name, amen. God has a design for the Christian 00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:07.840 home. And it is quite distinct from the pagan 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:12.520 concept of home life. Husband and wife are declared 00:03:12.520 --> 00:03:18.000 by God as equals, that is, as co -regents in 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:21.460 the home, with the headship or the functional 00:03:21.460 --> 00:03:26.500 authority given to the husband. God commands 00:03:26.500 --> 00:03:29.840 both husband and wife to do what comes least 00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:35.719 naturally to each, the wife to submit to the 00:03:35.719 --> 00:03:43.360 headship of her husband, to love his wife. The 00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:46.500 Holy Spirit brings a supernatural willingness 00:03:46.500 --> 00:03:52.919 and ability to obey those commands. Last week, 00:03:52.939 --> 00:03:55.360 as we talked about submission, we noted that 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.539 submission is not inferiority, nor is it loss 00:03:58.539 --> 00:04:03.340 of identity. It certainly does not create a slave 00:04:03.340 --> 00:04:09.840 -master relationship. It is a glad and willing 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:14.479 subordination to God's appointed authority in 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:18.240 one's life. God has done this in other spheres 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.620 than the home. For example, he has done it within 00:04:21.620 --> 00:04:24.939 the church, where all of us, as the Lord's people, 00:04:25.139 --> 00:04:28.720 are commanded to submit to the elders, to the 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:32.560 leadership of the local church. Hebrews 13, 17 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:35.959 says, Obey those that have the rule over you. 00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:40.800 and submit to them. And so the exact same language 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:45.199 is used of all of us in that sphere. A similar 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:47.720 thought is given to 1 Corinthians chapter 16 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:52.360 and verse 16. And then again to all of us as 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:54.920 the Lord's people, we are commanded to submit 00:04:54.920 --> 00:04:58.579 to God's appointed political or governmental 00:04:58.579 --> 00:05:03.180 authority over us. 1 Peter 2 verses 13 through 00:05:03.180 --> 00:05:07.430 14 deals with that fact. We are to be a submissive 00:05:07.430 --> 00:05:11.389 people to that kind of government that God has 00:05:11.389 --> 00:05:14.129 allowed in His sovereign plan to be over us at 00:05:14.129 --> 00:05:17.629 any given point. And so this command that is 00:05:17.629 --> 00:05:20.290 given to wives does not stand alone to wives, 00:05:20.370 --> 00:05:24.970 but to all of us in various spheres. But to wives 00:05:24.970 --> 00:05:27.949 it is said, Submit to your husbands as to the 00:05:27.949 --> 00:05:31.110 Lord. In other words, in doing so, you are giving 00:05:31.110 --> 00:05:35.819 your service to the Lord. This submission pictures, 00:05:36.019 --> 00:05:39.980 the apostle tells us, the church's submission 00:05:39.980 --> 00:05:44.000 to Christ. It is unthinkable, is it not, that 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:49.160 the church should seek to dominate its head or 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:52.279 to clamor for authority over its head, Jesus 00:05:52.279 --> 00:05:56.259 Christ? Such a thought is repulsive, if not even 00:05:56.259 --> 00:06:00.660 blasphemous. Well, that is the picture. that 00:06:00.660 --> 00:06:03.240 is defiled when there is struggle for headship 00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:06.920 in a home. For the wife's submission to her husband 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:11.180 parallels and pictures the submission of the 00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:15.439 church to its head, Jesus Christ. Now today we 00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:17.399 move ahead to the husbands, and I want to commend 00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:19.600 you wives for having your husbands here this 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:23.139 morning as I asked you to last week. I think 00:06:23.139 --> 00:06:25.120 it's important to note, first of all, that there 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:28.439 are twice as many verses given to the husband 00:06:28.439 --> 00:06:32.949 in this text. as to the wife. Indeed, that is 00:06:32.949 --> 00:06:37.209 because the more difficult of the commands is 00:06:37.209 --> 00:06:41.569 directed to him. To those of us who are husbands, 00:06:41.689 --> 00:06:46.129 the word of God says, husbands, love your wives. 00:06:48.410 --> 00:06:52.149 God declares that the leader of the home is also 00:06:52.149 --> 00:06:58.990 to be the lover. The one who represents God's 00:06:58.990 --> 00:07:03.990 authority to his wife is to also minister God's 00:07:03.990 --> 00:07:08.930 love to her. Now let's think for just a moment 00:07:08.930 --> 00:07:12.230 about what this command means. Some of what I 00:07:12.230 --> 00:07:15.250 will say will parallel what has been said in 00:07:15.250 --> 00:07:17.689 the terrific seminar that we had this weekend 00:07:17.689 --> 00:07:19.970 on marriage. I'm sorry that hundreds of others 00:07:19.970 --> 00:07:23.389 of you apparently were unable to make it because 00:07:23.389 --> 00:07:25.910 it was one of the most profitable. practical 00:07:25.910 --> 00:07:29.410 seminars that I've ever sat through. What does 00:07:29.410 --> 00:07:33.310 this command mean, love your wives? The word 00:07:33.310 --> 00:07:36.889 love here is the word agapao. It's a verb that 00:07:36.889 --> 00:07:40.509 describes God's love for us, and simply put, 00:07:40.569 --> 00:07:45.389 it means sacrificial love. Husbands are to love 00:07:45.389 --> 00:07:49.389 their wives with sacrificial love. It's a kind 00:07:49.389 --> 00:07:53.350 of love that gives itself for the one upon whom 00:07:53.350 --> 00:07:56.970 it is fixed. And there is no consideration given 00:07:56.970 --> 00:07:59.750 of the response or of the performance to gain 00:07:59.750 --> 00:08:02.149 it. That's not a part of the consideration at 00:08:02.149 --> 00:08:05.709 all. It is simply a pouring out of love on behalf 00:08:05.709 --> 00:08:09.790 of the one upon whom it is fixed and focused. 00:08:10.870 --> 00:08:13.629 Gary Chapman, who led the seminar this weekend, 00:08:13.790 --> 00:08:17.449 said this to us, Love is not a feeling only. 00:08:18.569 --> 00:08:23.689 It is an attitude. causing one to choose to behave 00:08:23.689 --> 00:08:29.189 in the best interests of another. And he contrasted 00:08:29.189 --> 00:08:31.709 that, you may recall, with what he terms the 00:08:31.709 --> 00:08:37.809 tingles. That is that emotional obsession that 00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:43.309 most of us experienced with our first love back 00:08:43.309 --> 00:08:46.090 in junior high or high school, whenever it might 00:08:46.090 --> 00:08:50.720 have been. That feeling of infatuation. as it 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:53.179 were, which is not limited, by the way, to those 00:08:53.179 --> 00:08:56.039 early years. Adults can experience the same thing 00:08:56.039 --> 00:09:00.659 and sometimes mistake that for a fresh new love 00:09:00.659 --> 00:09:03.419 and divorce their husbands or wives for this 00:09:03.419 --> 00:09:06.159 new individual with whom they have the tingles. 00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:09.360 And as was pointed out this week, it lasts about 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:12.840 two years, and then that's over, and the person 00:09:12.840 --> 00:09:15.860 realizes at least then, if not before, what a 00:09:15.860 --> 00:09:20.090 tragic mistake has been made. Real love is a 00:09:20.090 --> 00:09:23.389 kind of love that goes beyond feeling. It is 00:09:23.389 --> 00:09:27.629 an attitude that causes a person to behave in 00:09:27.629 --> 00:09:29.730 the best interest of another, and that's what 00:09:29.730 --> 00:09:33.110 God has done for us. Now, its implications for 00:09:33.110 --> 00:09:36.909 us as husbands is this, that we should lay down 00:09:36.909 --> 00:09:41.669 our lives to protect our wives. We are to deny 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:45.049 ourselves to provide for her. We are to extend 00:09:45.049 --> 00:09:48.940 ourselves to aid her. Indeed, God, gentlemen, 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:53.379 expects us to study our wives so that we can 00:09:53.379 --> 00:09:59.919 meet her genuine needs, so that we can seek the 00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:05.200 highest good for our wives. There is no limit 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:08.440 to this command, love your wives. It is compared 00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:12.139 to Christ's love, which is, as we have seen before 00:10:12.139 --> 00:10:15.539 in Ephesians, without dimension. The height, 00:10:15.639 --> 00:10:18.539 the depth, the breadth, the width of it cannot 00:10:18.539 --> 00:10:24.179 be described. Neither can the description be 00:10:24.179 --> 00:10:26.840 adequately given for the love a husband is to 00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:29.700 have for his wife. There is no extent to it that 00:10:29.700 --> 00:10:34.779 can be given. How is this love illustrated? We'll 00:10:34.779 --> 00:10:37.059 notice in our text that God gives us a pattern. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.580 In fact, He gives us two patterns. They somewhat 00:10:40.580 --> 00:10:45.299 overlap. The first pattern is, that the husband 00:10:45.299 --> 00:10:48.220 is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. 00:10:49.480 --> 00:10:51.399 Now, if you want to do something for the next 00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:57.559 year, just meditate on that. The kind of love 00:10:57.559 --> 00:11:01.899 that we are to express to our wives in our behavior 00:11:01.899 --> 00:11:06.159 is the kind of love that Jesus Christ has had 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:10.529 for his bride, the church. Several phrases further 00:11:10.529 --> 00:11:13.789 elaborate on this. It says he gave himself up 00:11:13.789 --> 00:11:17.190 for her in verse 25. That is, it's a sacrificial 00:11:17.190 --> 00:11:21.929 love. It speaks here of the cross death of our 00:11:21.929 --> 00:11:25.710 Savior on our behalf. And so the husband's love 00:11:25.710 --> 00:11:28.649 for his wife is to be one of paying whatever 00:11:28.649 --> 00:11:33.350 price is required to benefit her, to build her 00:11:33.350 --> 00:11:37.889 up, and to edify her. What this means is the 00:11:37.889 --> 00:11:43.330 wife is never to be used, but she is to be fulfilled. 00:11:45.570 --> 00:11:47.990 And by the way, when you seek to fulfill your 00:11:47.990 --> 00:11:51.870 wife, there's a mutual fulfillment that comes 00:11:51.870 --> 00:11:57.169 about. Jesus Christ gave himself on behalf of 00:11:57.169 --> 00:12:01.649 you, and now following his example, and to whatever 00:12:01.649 --> 00:12:05.330 degree you can to that extent, You are to lay 00:12:05.330 --> 00:12:09.190 down yourself and your desires on behalf of your 00:12:09.190 --> 00:12:15.710 wife. And then another phrase is used to describe 00:12:15.710 --> 00:12:18.309 how he gave himself for us. It says that he might 00:12:18.309 --> 00:12:22.190 sanctify her, that is, his bride. So this love 00:12:22.190 --> 00:12:25.710 is not only a sacrificial love, but this is a 00:12:25.710 --> 00:12:29.190 sanctifying love. The word sanctify means to 00:12:29.190 --> 00:12:33.389 set apart as his own. It says, He cleansed us 00:12:33.389 --> 00:12:36.190 with the washing of water by the Word. That, 00:12:36.269 --> 00:12:40.309 by the way, is not baptism. It is a metaphor 00:12:40.309 --> 00:12:45.289 or a picture of the washing or the newness of 00:12:45.289 --> 00:12:49.470 regeneration, which takes place by the Word of 00:12:49.470 --> 00:12:54.429 God. It brings a catharsis, as it were, to the 00:12:54.429 --> 00:12:57.409 soul, to the spirit of man. It makes him new. 00:13:01.179 --> 00:13:04.019 washing of water by the word which he describes 00:13:04.019 --> 00:13:07.679 here. He says he has cleansed us and set us apart, 00:13:07.899 --> 00:13:12.759 set us apart to himself. And so in marriage, 00:13:12.940 --> 00:13:18.200 a husband and wife are set apart to each other. 00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:23.019 And for that matter, both are to be sure that 00:13:23.019 --> 00:13:26.159 there is no interference in that holy separation. 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:31.090 For any interference, and it is sin, in the eyes 00:13:31.090 --> 00:13:37.669 of God. Just as Jesus Christ has set apart us 00:13:37.669 --> 00:13:41.470 to himself, so, gentlemen, we are to set apart 00:13:41.470 --> 00:13:46.110 our wives to ourselves in that unique marriage 00:13:46.110 --> 00:13:49.830 relationship in all of its dimensions. And no 00:13:49.830 --> 00:13:55.149 one and nothing is to come in between that one 00:13:55.149 --> 00:13:58.970 that has been sanctified to us. and set apart 00:13:58.970 --> 00:14:04.610 for us. Then it says that he loved the church 00:14:04.610 --> 00:14:09.269 in this way, that he might present her to himself. 00:14:09.470 --> 00:14:12.149 That's the third phrase used to elaborate upon 00:14:12.149 --> 00:14:16.669 the truth. It is a sacrificial love that Christ 00:14:16.669 --> 00:14:19.509 has had for us, a sanctifying love, but thirdly, 00:14:19.509 --> 00:14:23.269 notice, a securing love. It is that he might 00:14:23.269 --> 00:14:26.899 present the church to himself. That means One 00:14:26.899 --> 00:14:30.220 day he is going to set us beside himself in the 00:14:30.220 --> 00:14:34.200 glories of heaven. And there will not be any 00:14:34.200 --> 00:14:38.120 spot, that is, any stain of sin. There will be 00:14:38.120 --> 00:14:42.960 no wrinkle. Have you taken a close look at your 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:49.379 face lately? Wrinkles are part of maturing, aren't 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:55.110 they? Sadly, it's an evidence of decay. In the 00:14:55.110 --> 00:14:58.309 body is what it is. And that's how he means it 00:14:58.309 --> 00:15:01.789 here. He's saying that on that day when we are 00:15:01.789 --> 00:15:06.590 set into the presence of the Lord in glory, that 00:15:06.590 --> 00:15:10.129 there's not going to be a shade or any evidence 00:15:10.129 --> 00:15:15.690 of decay. Isn't it wonderful to think that in 00:15:15.690 --> 00:15:19.950 glory we are going to be perpetually young? We're 00:15:19.950 --> 00:15:23.860 not going to grow old there. But perpetually 00:15:23.860 --> 00:15:26.759 we'll have the vigor and energy of the resurrection 00:15:26.759 --> 00:15:31.879 of Jesus Christ to sustain us so that not even 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:38.559 sleep or nourishment will be necessary. There 00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:41.299 is not going to be the stain or spot of sin. 00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:43.720 There is not going to be the wrinkle of decay. 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:48.659 But we will be then holy, it says, and blameless. 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:54.460 No blemish and perfect. It's a securing love. 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:57.259 God has secured us for His Son that one day we 00:15:57.259 --> 00:16:00.659 might be set in glory with Him as His bride. 00:16:00.860 --> 00:16:03.340 And last Sunday night, we looked at that beautiful 00:16:03.340 --> 00:16:07.220 scene coming in the future in the marriage of 00:16:07.220 --> 00:16:10.919 the bride, the church, to Jesus Christ, the Lamb. 00:16:12.580 --> 00:16:14.639 And how does this apply to the husband? Well, 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:17.759 it seems to me that it says that we who are husbands 00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:23.250 should provide a secure love relationship with 00:16:23.250 --> 00:16:28.850 our wives so that it says to her, there is no 00:16:28.850 --> 00:16:35.450 one else for me but you. There is no one that 00:16:35.450 --> 00:16:42.450 could possibly fulfill me like you do. You and 00:16:42.450 --> 00:16:45.029 I are to love our wives just like Jesus Christ 00:16:45.029 --> 00:16:49.330 has loved us with a sacrificial love where we 00:16:49.330 --> 00:16:52.970 give ourselves for her. We lay aside our plans, 00:16:53.149 --> 00:16:56.269 our selfish plans, those things of our own personal 00:16:56.269 --> 00:17:02.009 interest to benefit and advance her. Our love 00:17:02.009 --> 00:17:04.289 for our wives is to be a sanctifying love where 00:17:04.289 --> 00:17:08.430 we set our wives apart in that unique marital 00:17:08.430 --> 00:17:12.130 relationship as our own, and nothing is to interfere. 00:17:13.089 --> 00:17:16.569 And it's to be a securing love where we communicate 00:17:16.569 --> 00:17:19.950 to our wives by our words and our actions, nobody 00:17:19.950 --> 00:17:23.619 else, honey. But you, you're special. You're 00:17:23.619 --> 00:17:29.880 unique in all the world to me. We're to love 00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:32.400 our wives as Christ has loved the church. But 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:37.380 secondly, as husbands love their own bodies, 00:17:37.460 --> 00:17:41.880 we are to love our wives. That's the second pattern 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.400 that he gives to us. In verse 33 he says, love 00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:49.119 your wife as yourself. You have to admit that's 00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:54.950 quite a bit. The wife is the extension of the 00:17:54.950 --> 00:17:59.990 husband, even as she is his completer. Those 00:17:59.990 --> 00:18:04.589 are companion truths. The union of marriage makes 00:18:04.589 --> 00:18:10.670 us one flesh. The wife becomes the completer 00:18:10.670 --> 00:18:16.950 to him. She is God's gift for the husband's wholeness. 00:18:19.150 --> 00:18:21.869 That does not mean that one who is called to 00:18:21.869 --> 00:18:24.609 be single for life, and there are those that 00:18:24.609 --> 00:18:28.549 God calls to singleness, are not whole in that 00:18:28.549 --> 00:18:31.809 way. God completes them without the need for 00:18:31.809 --> 00:18:37.009 that human completer. But the more common and 00:18:37.009 --> 00:18:40.430 natural way is that God brings a man and woman 00:18:40.430 --> 00:18:44.470 together, she to be his helper, his completer, 00:18:44.470 --> 00:18:50.890 and without her he would not be whole. You know, 00:18:50.970 --> 00:18:53.349 if that's true, men, it means that we need never 00:18:53.349 --> 00:18:57.549 be intimidated by the perspectives which our 00:18:57.549 --> 00:19:02.269 wives may share with us. I said last week that 00:19:02.269 --> 00:19:04.750 subjection to the headship of the husband does 00:19:04.750 --> 00:19:07.970 not mean the wife has no place to share her feelings, 00:19:08.210 --> 00:19:12.150 her opinions. She certainly has that right. She 00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:19.789 is a co -regent in the home. And we are obligated 00:19:19.789 --> 00:19:22.730 to listen. And I'll be frank with you, we're 00:19:22.730 --> 00:19:27.490 fools if we don't listen. I look back upon my 00:19:27.490 --> 00:19:32.450 life in some major decisions that I have made 00:19:32.450 --> 00:19:36.730 in which I have overruled the perspective of 00:19:36.730 --> 00:19:41.049 my wife. And I tell you today, I've lived to 00:19:41.049 --> 00:19:45.750 regret it. And I've told her so, eventually. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.579 We love our wives because they complete us and 00:19:57.579 --> 00:20:00.980 we need them. You see, a woman looks at the world, 00:20:01.019 --> 00:20:03.599 she looks at people and situations differently 00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:10.039 than you do. Wise is the husband who in loving 00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:14.759 his wife will open his heart to her counsel and 00:20:14.759 --> 00:20:19.680 will be sure that in but the rarest of circumstances 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:24.019 he is in oneness with her. in the decisions that 00:20:24.019 --> 00:20:29.619 are made in the home. It is natural for us men 00:20:29.619 --> 00:20:35.319 to nourish our flesh. Oh, we love to nourish 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:38.619 it, don't we? Most of us do a good job with that. 00:20:39.940 --> 00:20:43.859 And we naturally cherish our flesh. We care for 00:20:43.859 --> 00:20:49.059 it with tender love and affection. You stand 00:20:49.059 --> 00:20:51.220 before the mirror in the morning and you shave. 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:57.059 When that razor gets you, ooh, that hurts. And 00:20:57.059 --> 00:21:00.259 you try to put something on there to ease that 00:21:00.259 --> 00:21:02.900 soreness and that pain. We cherish, we treat 00:21:02.900 --> 00:21:05.720 ourselves tenderly. And what the Word of God 00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:08.220 says is that just that same way we are to treat 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:12.579 our wives. We are to nourish them. We are to 00:21:12.579 --> 00:21:15.619 provide for them. We are to feed them, not just 00:21:15.619 --> 00:21:19.660 physical food. But we are to feed them emotionally. 00:21:21.049 --> 00:21:25.450 to build them up emotionally. And we are to seek 00:21:25.450 --> 00:21:28.670 to, in every way we can, make them feel good 00:21:28.670 --> 00:21:32.470 about themselves and about the marriage and their 00:21:32.470 --> 00:21:35.890 family and their role. And we are to cherish 00:21:35.890 --> 00:21:40.630 them with tender love and affection. We are to 00:21:40.630 --> 00:21:48.410 care for those hurts that come. Verse 31 is a 00:21:48.410 --> 00:21:51.609 free translation of Genesis 2 .24, reminding 00:21:51.609 --> 00:21:54.809 us of the bond of marriage and the oneness that 00:21:54.809 --> 00:21:57.710 it creates. And that is primarily here a physical 00:21:57.710 --> 00:22:02.289 oneness in marriage love. And that's where that 00:22:02.289 --> 00:22:05.130 is to be expressed, and not outside of marriage. 00:22:06.289 --> 00:22:09.470 Because that physical act brings the deepest 00:22:09.470 --> 00:22:14.680 kind of intimacy and sharing. and oneness between 00:22:14.680 --> 00:22:21.099 a man and woman. But it also is an act that involves 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:27.380 the emotions, bringing two people into a beautiful, 00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:34.380 intimate oneness, emotionally and spiritually. 00:22:35.819 --> 00:22:38.119 Isn't it interesting that the Lord uses that 00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:41.420 very picture, that holy picture of marriage love, 00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:45.599 to describe to us the oneness between ourselves 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:50.440 and him. He says, just as there were two who 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:53.220 were previously unrelated who become one flesh, 00:22:53.559 --> 00:22:57.839 so we who trust in Jesus Christ as Savior are 00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:02.519 brought together as one with him into an intimate 00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:08.160 spiritual union that cannot be separated. What 00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:11.299 a great picture there is. as the husband loves 00:23:11.299 --> 00:23:15.940 his wife, and as the wife submits to the husband. 00:23:16.220 --> 00:23:19.420 What a beautiful picture that is of Christ and 00:23:19.420 --> 00:23:21.640 the church, and that is the mystery that Paul 00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:25.359 is describing in our text. I want to close with 00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:29.839 some practical application to husbands. I have 00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:32.400 three simple phrases to use to describe what 00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:36.390 I believe. is meant by husbands love your wives. 00:23:36.569 --> 00:23:38.869 In the first place, I believe it means to sanctify 00:23:38.869 --> 00:23:43.630 your wife, to set her apart as the most special 00:23:43.630 --> 00:23:47.829 person in all of the world. Your wife needs to 00:23:47.829 --> 00:23:52.849 know that you need her, not just for physical 00:23:52.849 --> 00:23:56.150 fulfillment, but that you need her for all of 00:23:56.150 --> 00:24:00.289 life. She needs to know that she has worth and 00:24:00.289 --> 00:24:06.440 value to you. That is beyond comparison. And 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:09.099 so may I say in the first place, never negatively 00:24:09.099 --> 00:24:15.180 compare your wife to others. Just never do that. 00:24:15.559 --> 00:24:20.440 Never put her down that way. Never criticize 00:24:20.440 --> 00:24:25.220 her publicly. There are some of us who have a 00:24:25.220 --> 00:24:29.720 neat way of doing that in jest, but it still 00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:33.980 gets the barb through, doesn't it? How that undermines 00:24:33.980 --> 00:24:37.019 that sanctity where you've set her apart as a 00:24:37.019 --> 00:24:40.400 special person. Never presume upon her as your 00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:45.200 wife or take her for granted, even in the physical 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:50.039 realm. Never do that. But make her your highest 00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:56.900 priority. Boast of her in her presence. Never 00:24:56.900 --> 00:25:00.180 be embarrassed to do that. Treat her with respect 00:25:00.180 --> 00:25:05.119 and with dignity. And as I've said, listen. Listen 00:25:05.119 --> 00:25:09.859 to her opinions and to her ideas. Sanctify your 00:25:09.859 --> 00:25:12.160 wife. Set her apart as that most special person 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:15.059 in all the world to you. Secondly, protect your 00:25:15.059 --> 00:25:19.240 wife. Protect her from the pressures that undermine 00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:25.400 her sense of security and adequacy. Reassure 00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:29.579 her of her decisions, that she knows what she's 00:25:29.579 --> 00:25:34.940 doing. She has to make decisions every day. In 00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:37.299 fulfilling her role as the helpmate in the home, 00:25:37.460 --> 00:25:41.140 reassure her of her decisions. My wife comes 00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:44.539 home from shopping, and the first thing she says 00:25:44.539 --> 00:25:47.019 to me is, guess how much money I saved you today? 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:51.579 And you know what my first thought is? You know, 00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:54.420 don't you? But I say, well, how much did you 00:25:54.420 --> 00:25:58.359 save me today? And so she just enjoys getting 00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:01.000 out the bargains and showing me these items that 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:04.890 she's purchased on sale. and she totals up how 00:26:04.890 --> 00:26:11.430 much she saved me. You know? My wife is a good 00:26:11.430 --> 00:26:14.930 buyer, and I'm proud of her. Well, reassure your 00:26:14.930 --> 00:26:17.130 wife of her decisions. Tell her you appreciate 00:26:17.130 --> 00:26:22.809 how much she saves you. And then maintain unity 00:26:22.809 --> 00:26:26.430 with her with regards to the children. You know, 00:26:26.470 --> 00:26:31.440 children have an inbred ability. To know how 00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:35.319 to come between mom and dad. And to play the 00:26:35.319 --> 00:26:39.160 one against the other. And they love to play 00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:42.839 that game. And dad, if you let them do it, you're 00:26:42.839 --> 00:26:47.299 destroying your wife. Their mother. Protect her 00:26:47.299 --> 00:26:50.240 from that. Maintain unity with regard to the 00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:55.000 children. And accept her for the person God has 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:58.970 made her to be. Just accept her for that beautiful 00:26:58.970 --> 00:27:01.450 person that God has brought into your life to 00:27:01.450 --> 00:27:04.829 teach you some things, to knock off some of your 00:27:04.829 --> 00:27:08.730 rough edges, as well as to be a blessing to you. 00:27:10.349 --> 00:27:15.089 Build on her strengths. Compensate for her areas 00:27:15.089 --> 00:27:18.390 of weakness, just as you have strengths and weaknesses. 00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:22.410 Protect your wife from those things that might 00:27:22.410 --> 00:27:25.390 tend to undermine her sense of security and adequacy. 00:27:26.220 --> 00:27:28.579 One of the things I have noted is that wives 00:27:28.579 --> 00:27:31.359 particularly are sensitive about their beauty 00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:37.839 as they grow older. Time and children have a 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:40.519 way of redistributing the body. Have you ever 00:27:40.519 --> 00:27:44.559 noticed that? Especially is that true for a woman. 00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:49.660 And there are times of life that women go through 00:27:49.660 --> 00:27:52.259 when they need that reassurance from the husband 00:27:52.259 --> 00:27:57.650 that she's still attractive. and appealing. The 00:27:57.650 --> 00:28:00.630 husband needs to protect his wife from the pitfalls 00:28:00.630 --> 00:28:04.029 during that stage of life and undergird her, 00:28:04.170 --> 00:28:07.390 protect her from those dangers. Number three, 00:28:07.490 --> 00:28:10.450 to love your wife means to provide what she needs. 00:28:11.309 --> 00:28:15.049 What she needs to flourish as a woman, as your 00:28:15.049 --> 00:28:19.829 wife, as a mother. Nourish and cherish her with 00:28:19.829 --> 00:28:22.609 what she needs to grow. God has made her like 00:28:22.609 --> 00:28:27.750 a delicate flower. to enrich and to grace your 00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:33.250 life. So provide her what she needs. One of the 00:28:33.250 --> 00:28:37.069 great things we learned this weekend was regarding 00:28:37.069 --> 00:28:41.210 the five languages of love. The language in the 00:28:41.210 --> 00:28:45.529 first place of time. Spending time with that 00:28:45.529 --> 00:28:49.470 one you love. The language of words that compliment 00:28:49.470 --> 00:28:54.490 and endear. The language of touch. that gentle 00:28:54.490 --> 00:28:58.809 affection that may not have any relationship 00:28:58.809 --> 00:29:03.170 to marital fulfillment, but just those gentle 00:29:03.170 --> 00:29:07.529 touches that mean so much to a woman, deeds that 00:29:07.529 --> 00:29:12.289 show that you care about her, and then actions 00:29:12.289 --> 00:29:16.430 or gifts, rather, that tell her that you think 00:29:16.430 --> 00:29:18.789 about her during the day. Those are five languages 00:29:18.789 --> 00:29:22.680 of love. as Dr. Chapman pointed out to us, and 00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.339 your wife speaks one of them better than the 00:29:25.339 --> 00:29:29.779 others, most probably. Husbands need to study 00:29:29.779 --> 00:29:32.279 their wives to find out what language they pick 00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:36.500 up on. There are some wives that don't feel their 00:29:36.500 --> 00:29:38.940 husbands love them because the husband is saying, 00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:43.140 I love you, in a different language. Maybe it's 00:29:43.140 --> 00:29:46.839 that he brings gifts home, but the way that she 00:29:46.839 --> 00:29:51.420 understands love is by deeds around the house, 00:29:51.500 --> 00:29:54.200 helping her out with this load of work that she's 00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:58.819 got week in and week out. A man's work is from 00:29:58.819 --> 00:30:01.099 son to son, but a woman's work, how does that 00:30:01.099 --> 00:30:03.240 go? My wife has said that to me several times. 00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:08.259 And it may be that she picks up love in that 00:30:08.259 --> 00:30:10.380 language. You need to get into her language and 00:30:10.380 --> 00:30:13.240 say, I love you, and nourish her in that language. 00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:18.779 In 1 Peter 3, 7, we're told, live with your wife 00:30:18.779 --> 00:30:22.839 with understanding. He calls her there a weaker 00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:26.980 vessel, only in the sense of the physical way 00:30:26.980 --> 00:30:30.259 that God has made the woman. She is more delicate. 00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:34.980 And a husband is to provide for his wife understanding. 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:41.380 Grant her honor, says Peter. Dr. James Dobson 00:30:41.380 --> 00:30:45.119 has said, our very survival as a people, will 00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:47.900 depend upon the presence or absence of masculine 00:30:47.900 --> 00:30:51.079 leadership in millions of homes. And gentlemen, 00:30:51.160 --> 00:30:54.200 that's what we're talking about. We're talking 00:30:54.200 --> 00:30:59.339 about genuine, godly, masculine leadership in 00:30:59.339 --> 00:31:02.740 homes when we talk about husbands loving their 00:31:02.740 --> 00:31:08.799 wives. God has called you to be a leader, patterned 00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:12.240 after the leadership of Jesus Christ himself. 00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:18.900 You can only do that if you see, along with your 00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:22.380 responsibility to your wife, your responsibility 00:31:22.380 --> 00:31:26.359 to Jesus Christ. Dave Simmons, who conducted 00:31:26.359 --> 00:31:31.500 for us the Shepherd Seminar, Dad the Family Shepherd 00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:34.019 Seminar last February, and who, by the way, is 00:31:34.019 --> 00:31:37.099 coming again in February, said this to us. You, 00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:42.539 fathers, husbands, you are a man of authority. 00:31:43.450 --> 00:31:48.349 Because you are first a man under authority. 00:31:50.690 --> 00:31:59.069 Jesus Christ is the head of a man. Jesus Christ's 00:31:59.069 --> 00:32:02.569 lordship guarantees his power active in your 00:32:02.569 --> 00:32:04.910 life so that you will be a success as a husband. 00:32:05.410 --> 00:32:09.000 I don't think any of us set out to fail. None 00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:11.180 of us start out and set that as a goal in life. 00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:14.720 I wish to fail as a husband. We want to succeed. 00:32:15.460 --> 00:32:21.400 Here's how we succeed. By loving our wives just 00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:25.240 as Jesus Christ has loved us. By leading our 00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:29.779 homes just as Jesus Christ is the loving leader 00:32:29.779 --> 00:32:33.099 of his bride, the church. Let's bow together 00:32:33.099 --> 00:32:39.619 in prayer. Husbands, how about it? I know that 00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:42.319 there are many of you who are seeking by God's 00:32:42.319 --> 00:32:45.019 help and grace through the filling of the Holy 00:32:45.019 --> 00:32:47.779 Spirit to do just what we've talked about today. 00:32:51.220 --> 00:32:53.720 Others of you may be at a point where you need 00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:56.160 to make some correction in the direction you're 00:32:56.160 --> 00:33:00.519 moving. I'm going to ask you to do something 00:33:00.519 --> 00:33:03.019 before I lead in prayer. With our heads bowed, 00:33:03.019 --> 00:33:06.259 our eyes closed, I am speaking to all husbands 00:33:06.259 --> 00:33:12.599 here today. Will you at this moment publicly 00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:19.759 indicate your desire to follow the example of 00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:24.900 Jesus Christ, to love your wife? And in doing 00:33:24.900 --> 00:33:27.019 that, you're going to love her like we've described 00:33:27.019 --> 00:33:31.460 Christ's love this morning, sacrificial, sanctifying, 00:33:31.579 --> 00:33:37.650 securing love. It may be something that you're 00:33:37.650 --> 00:33:40.390 seeking to do now, or it may be something brand 00:33:40.390 --> 00:33:42.349 new that you're going to put into your life. 00:33:42.769 --> 00:33:45.069 But if you're saying this morning, Jesus Christ 00:33:45.069 --> 00:33:49.670 is my Lord, and I seek to be a godly head in 00:33:49.670 --> 00:33:54.369 my home, the loving leader of my home, would 00:33:54.369 --> 00:33:59.430 you stand where you are right now? It may not 00:33:59.430 --> 00:34:02.650 be a brand new commitment. You may be trying 00:34:02.650 --> 00:34:07.670 it right now. Doing it right now, rather. You're 00:34:07.670 --> 00:34:13.010 saying, that is my goal as a husband. God bless 00:34:13.010 --> 00:34:16.469 you. I wonder how many wives are here who would 00:34:16.469 --> 00:34:19.610 say, I want to stand with my husband to say that 00:34:19.610 --> 00:34:24.070 I'm with him as his helper. And my desire is 00:34:24.070 --> 00:34:26.650 to obey the word of God to me and to be his helper. 00:34:27.309 --> 00:34:30.230 And to be submissive to this lover leader in 00:34:30.230 --> 00:34:33.739 my home. That we may be one. and have the kind 00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:36.559 of home that reflects Jesus Christ and His bride, 00:34:36.659 --> 00:34:38.420 the Church. Would you stand with your husband? 00:34:40.659 --> 00:34:45.420 Oh, praise God. Amen. It may be that you're by 00:34:45.420 --> 00:34:48.039 yourself this morning as a husband or as a wife, 00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:51.159 but in standing you're saying, I'm going to do 00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:53.900 my part by the grace of God. Remember, this is 00:34:53.900 --> 00:34:56.159 the Spirit -filled home we're talking about. 00:34:56.219 --> 00:34:58.340 We're not asking you to do something in your 00:34:58.340 --> 00:35:02.389 own strength. but as the Holy Spirit enables 00:35:02.389 --> 00:35:08.409 you. Now would you all stand, please. Father, 00:35:08.489 --> 00:35:11.309 I pray for these who have stood as indication 00:35:11.309 --> 00:35:17.949 of their desire that they might experience in 00:35:17.949 --> 00:35:20.610 their own lives, in their marriages and homes, 00:35:20.869 --> 00:35:25.929 the reality of what you say in this word. And 00:35:25.929 --> 00:35:29.110 oh, may the Spirit of God, who indwells every 00:35:29.110 --> 00:35:33.550 child of God, enable us and strengthen us that 00:35:33.550 --> 00:35:36.090 we might fulfill that special role that you've 00:35:36.090 --> 00:35:41.070 called us to. I thank you, Father, for all who've 00:35:41.070 --> 00:35:44.750 stood, and I pray your blessing upon them as 00:35:44.750 --> 00:35:48.289 they seek to follow you in the power of the Holy 00:35:48.289 --> 00:35:51.909 Spirit. And as applications fall out to all of 00:35:51.909 --> 00:35:55.880 the rest of us, I pray that likewise we will 00:35:55.880 --> 00:35:58.460 be walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, seeking 00:35:58.460 --> 00:36:02.460 to be what you've called us to be in the world, 00:36:02.460 --> 00:36:06.239 in our society, in this generation. In Jesus' 00:36:06.360 --> 00:36:07.559 name, amen.