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I am thinking this morning of a young man who was born in a Christian home, attended

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a rather strict fundamentalist church as a child and teenager, who professed faith in

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the Lord Jesus Christ at the age of six or seven. He grew to be a handsome, popular young

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man with high ideals, coming from a family with high expectations on the part of the

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parents for the children. Both of the parents have Ph.D.s and teach at a state university.

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But apparently somewhere something was missing in this young man's life, even his Christian

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experience. And as he got out of high school and began to be involved in a career, he became

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involved in a situation that was compromising his high standards which he had grown up with.

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He was eating him up inside. He didn't know how to handle it. So he sought the counsel

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of pastors and several friends at work. On several occasions he joked with his friends

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and his fellow employees about dying. He even laughed with one of them when he said that

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he would probably be the one to find his body. Now I know that sounds a little weird, and

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yet in the context of that particular conversation, it wasn't necessarily out of place. Last Wednesday

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this young man did not show up for work. His friends called, but there was no response

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on the telephone. They contacted the young lady he had been dating. She said that she

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had driven by the night before, had seen his light on one time and off another. She knew

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that he had been there then. One of the employees said, well I saw his car at the apartment.

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Thursday morning again he did not show up for work, and this time his employer began

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to worry. He had suffered from a bleeding ulcer. They were concerned he might be very,

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very ill. So the word supervisor sent three young men from the office. Among those was

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the young man who had joked with this fellow a few days before about being the one to find

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his body. The three of them were led into his apartment, and that one young man went

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in to the bedroom, and there he found this young man dead, 25 or 26 years of age. He

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had put a shotgun under his chin and pulled the trigger. What happened to this young man,

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who at six or seven had trusted Jesus Christ? Did God fail him somewhere? Why was his discouragement

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so great in his Christian experience that he could not look to the Lord in that time?

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For none of us is at such a critical point in our own experience in life, and yet with

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many of us today there is a nagging awareness behind that smile, behind that praise the

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Lord, a nagging awareness even while singing the hymn of faith, that somehow our own Christian

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life just isn't quite making it. There is discouragement regarding this thing called

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the Christian life. Why is that? I think it is because there are some who see the Christian

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life as little more than an ethic. There are others who see it only as a set of rules that

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have to be obeyed to please God. And yet in its essence, the Christian life is simply

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living out eternal life. Eternal life is a quality of living as much as it is a duration,

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perhaps even more so. Eternal life is the life of the eternal one himself. God wants

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us to enjoy and experience his own life. Jesus said, I give unto them eternal life, and they

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shall never perish. But a few chapters later in John he says, and this is eternal life,

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they might know thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent. So how did Jesus define eternal

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life? Is it to live forever in heaven? It is that, but eternal life is more than that.

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Eternal life is to know God through his son, Jesus Christ. I would submit that one of the

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key reasons for so much frustration and discouragement among Christians is the fact that we have

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a misconception of what the Christian life really is. We think of it too often as a legalistic

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code rather than as a living communion with the living God. We are growing in our knowledge

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about God in our church. We are unapologetically a Bible teaching church. We intend for the

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Bible to be the focus of all that we do, for that is God's revelation, God's communication

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to us. But dear people, it is insufficient that we grow in our knowledge about God. We

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must grow in our knowledge of God himself. It is not enough that we learn theological

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words and facts. It is not enough that we are able to outline books. We must come to

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know the God who is revealed in this book. If we would come into a more intimate knowledge

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of God, we must draw near to God. And to draw near to God, we must pass through a miserable

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experience. That is what James tells us. In chapter 4 verse 7, submit therefore to God,

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resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to

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you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be

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miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.

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Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord and he will exalt you. If we would draw near

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to God, this is the miserable experience that we must pass through. We must examine ourselves

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in the light of God's holiness. We must see ourselves in relation to God. We must see

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ourselves as God sees us. And when we do, there is but one response we can make, and

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that is repentance and brokenness. We need to be broken before God, beloved. There is

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probably not a greater need in your life and in mine than that we should know the continuous

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experience of brokenness before him. Turn back with me to the book of Isaiah for a moment

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and review what is probably a familiar passage to many of you in the sixth chapter. The word

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of the Lord came to Isaiah, and God delivered his message through this great prophet. But

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in the sixth chapter, Isaiah tells us about a personal experience that he had with God

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and his knowledge about God became real to him. And it was that which qualified him to

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speak for God. It was his commissioning. He says, In the year of King Isaiah's death,

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I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted, with the train of his robe filling

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the temple. Seraphim stood above him, each having six wings. With two he covered his

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face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called out to another

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and said, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts. The whole earth is full of his glory.

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Isaiah observed that the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the voice of him who

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called out, while the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said, he relates, Woe is me,

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for I am ruined, because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean

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lips, for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts. I don't know what kind of a

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man Isaiah was before this day. I don't think anybody does. We have no reason to believe

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that Isaiah was necessarily a perfect man. Indeed, we know he was not perfect. But we

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would assume him to have been a godly man. And yet when this man saw the Lord, his one

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response was not, How beautiful is your holiness! How glorious is your name! But his response

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was Woe is me, I am ruined. I am a man of unclean lips, he confesses, and I dwell among

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a similar people. It was repentance. It was brokenness. And will you please note that

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it was that brokenness that then qualified him to say to the Lord, Here am I, send me.

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I am not fit to stand in this pulpit. You are not fit to teach a Sunday school class,

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to usher, to sing in the choir, to witness to a neighbor, until we have come to the place

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of brokenness before God. Turn over a few pages to Job, the 42nd chapter. Through this

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book that relates to us, Job's Sufferings, Job sees no sin in himself that would have

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caused all of this. He questioned God. He received some miserable comforters who came

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to him with certain answers that did not satisfy. And finally God reveals himself to Job. And

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in those chapters God magnificently expresses his omnipotence as well as his care for his

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creation. And after God had revealed himself to Job, he responds, notice chapter 42 verse

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1. Job answered the Lord and said, I know that thou canst do all things, and that no

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purpose of thine can be thwarted. You see, that's his theology. Who is this that hides

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counsel without knowledge? Therefore he says, I have declared that which I did not understand,

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was too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear now, and I will speak. I will

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ask thee, and do thou instruct me. Look at verse 5. I have heard of thee by the hearing

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of the ear, but now, now my eye sees thee. Therefore I retract, and I repent in dust

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and ashes. Here's the statement of a man who knew God by the hearing of the ear, after

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he had come to be broken before God. May I suggest to us today that there are many of

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us who know God by the hearing of the ear. We have read our Bibles, we have outlined

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our books, we have memorized our verses, we have studied our theology. We have not yet

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entered into that personal communion with the living God, and the reason is that we

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have not been broken before him. James says that if we're going to draw near to God,

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we must be a miserable people first. And yet we are a people desiring to hear about God

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making us happy, prosperous, healthy, and successful. We want to hear about God making

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us feel good about ourselves. We want someone to tell us that we can make it. You see, we

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are a self-sufficient, independent, rich, busy, materialistic, sensual, flabby, and

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grubby bunch of 20th century Christians. We do not want our sins exposed, our shallowness

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revealed, our cold hearts made apparent. No, we want to laugh, we want to be happy, we

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want to fit in and be accepted in our society. We want to enjoy an occasional sin without

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having to feel guilty for it. That's us. And God patiently, silently, longingly waits.

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Waits for our attention, waits for our affection, waits for our worship. And yet some of us

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say, I'll get to you, God. Just hang in there. You'll have to wait your turn. You see, life

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is passing by so quickly. Lord, I haven't really forgotten you. I just have to get some

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things done. I have to get into my vocation. I have to raise my family. I have to pay off

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my home. I have to stick a little away for retirement. Lord, we've been wanting to make

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that dream trip for so long. Surely, Lord, you understand, don't you? Just be patient

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a little longer. I'll get around to you. Is it any wonder that our 20th century brand

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of Christianity is so flat, unattractive, and impotent? I submit to you that the great

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need of this hour in our world is for the brokenness of Christians before God. And it

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is nowhere more urgently needed than in Grace Church, Roseville. There are several dimensions

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where this brokenness needs to occur. I will be only suggestive in mentioning some of them.

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But I believe the primary place that we need to start is brokenness regarding ourself.

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Now realize that there is a proper place for self-love or self-esteem. That is part of

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a healthy self-image. I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about is the egocentric

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lifestyle in which so many of us are caught up. You see, it is a part of our world. It

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is accepted and encouraged in our world. And it has flowed into the Church. We have adopted

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it. And somehow we have forgotten Jesus' words when he said, If any man wishes to come

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after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. Yet we live for ourselves.

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We want to realize ourselves, to experience ourselves. But Jesus says, deny yourself.

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Now there is, I think, technically a difference between self-denial and a denial of self.

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Self-denial can degenerate into nothing more than an ascetic way of living. Living by rules

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and regulations which amounts only to will worship. I am talking about denying ourself.

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Saying, Lord, all that I am, all of my potential, all of my dreams, all of my abilities, all

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of my accomplishments, I lay at the cross. We need brokenness starting there. We need

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brokenness regarding our attitude toward possessions, too. Aren't we a clinging people? We grasp

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and we store up and we possess. And like the pagan world around us, we think that is the

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essence of life, having things. And yet did not our Lord say, What shall a prophet a man

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do if he gains the whole world and loses his soul? We need to be broken regarding the things,

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the attitude that we have toward the things we possess. We must see all that we have is

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belonging to God. And as radical as it sounds, we need to begin learning to live as simply

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as possible and to resist the temptation to hoard, accumulate, and waste. We are so talented

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in those areas. Do you possess your things or do your things possess you? We need to

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be broken as well regarding our attitude toward authority. Our day is something like the day

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of ancient Israel. One of the times the judges said, Every man did that which was right in

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his own eyes. We are all becoming our own authority. And it makes no difference what

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our parents say, it makes no difference what the government says, it makes no difference

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what the church says, it makes no difference what the college we may be going to says.

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We are the final authority. Nobody is going to tell me what to do. So there is this attitude

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of rebellion and stubbornness and resistance. And that needs to be broken. We need to come

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to the place that we see that God has ordained authority and submit to the authority that

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he puts into our lives as submitting unto Christ himself. We need to be broken in our

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attitude toward some of the relationships that we have in life. There are some marriages

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in homes represented here today that are more like hell than heaven. There are some husbands

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who take their wives for granted. She will always be there. I want to do this tonight.

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I want to go there this weekend with the boys. And the wife is left at home alone. On the

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other hand there may be wives who know very well how to manipulate and control the husband

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and the real harsh desires to be the head of the home. Because of these kinds of attitudes

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and scores of others, marriages are in turmoil and upset. If people really knew what the

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marriage was like, how embarrassed we would be. Therefore how careful we are at disguising

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what's going on inside our homes. There are husbands here today who need to be broken.

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And there are wives who need to be broken regarding your attitude toward your mate.

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There are some children here who need to be broken in your attitude toward your parents.

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Disobedient, rebellious you are. Or perhaps you are an older child and your parent is

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aged and you neglect your parents. You take that parent for granted. That needs to be

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broken. What about some roommates? Some of your career people who live together. You

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need to be broken regarding your relationships to one another. What about the attitude that

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we have toward our personal rights? I have a right to be successful. I have a right to

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be popular. Don't I have a right for a good reputation? I have a right to be married.

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I have a right to have a family. I have a right to have a home. I have a right for an

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easy retirement. And our world is filled with that. It is the source of so much strife and

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turmoil in the workforce. My rights. And yet those are the rights that need to be brought

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to the cross and broken. And we lay our rights at Jesus' feet and say, Lord, I have no rights.

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They're yours. You say that sounds like a miserable thing to do. It's exactly right.

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Such brokenness that we are talking about is miserable. But it also brings cleansing

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and a drawing near to God so that we can know him. Such brokenness will bring a breath of

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God upon us. My friend, God's purpose in your life right now is the breaking of the self-life

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of outward men, which Watchman Nee talks about, so that the inner man, the life of Christ

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himself, may flow from you to minister and to bless and to glorify God. Some of us are

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frustrated and worn out in Christian service because we are serving God in our own fleshly

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strength. What God wants to do is to break that outer so that the inner can flow. And

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then how fruitful would be that service, how joyful? Did not Jacob learn something about

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this? Jacob's name means supplanter, deceiver. It was he who grasped the heel of his brother

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as they were born. They had struggled before that in the womb. Jacob was a scheming and

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deceitful person. With the help and even suggestion of his mother, the birthright was stolen from

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his brother Esau. He had to flee from home. For 20 years he was cheated by Laban, his

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father-in-law. Rachel, the one of his love, died prematurely. Joseph, his beloved son,

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was taken away. He thought dead. Benjamin was ultimately held prisoner in Egypt. Misfortune

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after tragedy after heartache struck at Jacob, whom God had chosen, the eye of his love.

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What was God doing in all of this? God was working. God was transforming. When he died

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at 147, it says in the book of Hebrews that as he was dying, he leaned upon his staff,

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he blessed his sons, and in those blessings gave great insight and great transparency,

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and he worshipped. You see, God was breaking Jacob systematically. That's what God's doing

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in your life today. Will you let him have his way? Are you weary of striving in your

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Christian experience? Are you hungering and thirsting for God? Do you long for a new touch

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from the Lord? Do you want your knowledge about God to become the knowledge of God?

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Then seek brokenness. Humble yourself before God. He will not withhold himself from you,

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if you will. Let's pray. With our heads bowed and as the Spirit of God applies this to our

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lives, I've asked Mike McCowan to sing a soul. I want you to hear the words. I want you to

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respond within your own spirit to God as he sings.