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We open the Word of God together today to the book of Ephesians and the fourth chapter.

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It was the British poet Alexander Pope who in his work An Essay on Criticism penned the

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famous lines, To err is human, to forgive divine.

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Indeed, forgiveness is the divine work of God.

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It is the work of His grace.

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It is His grace which provides forgiveness to sinners.

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Nehemiah recognized that when he wrote in the ninth chapter and seventeenth verse, Thou

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art a God of forgiveness.

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Aren't you glad for that?

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The psalmist joins with that and says, If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord,

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who could stand?

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But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.

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It is the grace of God that enables Him to forgive us of our sins.

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But it's also the grace of God that enables us to forgive the sins of one another against

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each other.

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It is His grace that enables us to give forgiveness and to receive forgiveness.

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Because the human heart is not naturally prone toward forgiveness.

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The fact is there are few worse chains that hold the human soul in bondage than bitterness.

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It is like a lead weight which pulls the soul downward into the depths of despair and anguish,

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destroying and extinguishing the vitality of life.

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There are those people who look to past grievances and offenses with a scowl on their face and

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with ice in their hearts.

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There is no one who is in more degrading bondage than such a person.

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Giving and receiving forgiveness are essential to being freed from the past so that we can

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enjoy the future.

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That's what I want us to think about this morning.

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I'd like to repeat that.

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Giving and receiving forgiveness are essential to being freed from the past so that we can

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enjoy the future.

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Look with me at the considerations that we have in the outline that you have perhaps

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from your worship folder.

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In the first place, let's consider an explanation of what forgiveness is.

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There are several words in the Bible, both in the Hebrew and the Old Testament and the

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Greek of the New Testament, which are translated forgive or forgiveness.

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Summarizing them, we might say that they include the ideas of covering over or pardoning to

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send away something and then to show favor, to give freely.

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In fact, one Greek word for forgiveness comes from the word grace.

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It means to give freely to another person.

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We need to come to a working definition based upon what those words tell us as well as how

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the concept is used in the Bible.

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What is a working definition of forgiveness?

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As it relates to divine forgiveness, I think we can say it's this, God's lifting of the

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penalty of his justice.

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It is God's lifting of the penalty of his justice.

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Thus he forgives.

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This is done by God on a legal basis.

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It's not that God arbitrarily decides to lift justice.

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He must have a good reason for doing so, a legal reason.

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That legal reason is the death of Jesus Christ.

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For when he died on the cross, he bore the justice of God for all of us who will believe

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in him.

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He took upon himself the wrath of God that we deserve so that God's justice has been

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satisfied and God can now look kindly toward us for Jesus' sake and lift justice from our

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shoulders.

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Forgive one another just as God in Christ, says Paul, forgave you.

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So God forgives us, he lifts from us the burden of justice in Christ for Christ's sake because

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of what Jesus did for us on the cross.

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God can forgive any sin, but he can overlook none.

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You think about that.

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God is holy, he cannot overlook any sin, but he can forgive for Jesus' sake any sin that

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you or I commit.

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What a gracious God we have.

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Divine forgiveness is God's lifting of the penalty of justice from us.

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Let's think about human forgiveness because that is going to be the thrust of the message

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today.

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I would define human forgiveness as releasing another from responsibility for an offense.

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It is releasing another person from responsibility for an offense.

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Dr. Gary Chapman, who has ministered in our church as well as in the Lake Johanna Bible

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Conference defined it this way in a practical sense.

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It means I will no longer treat you as though you sinned against me.

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A very practical working definition.

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I will no longer treat you as though you sinned against me.

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It is a choice that I make, a choice that you make to forgive another.

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And what is the basis for our forgiveness?

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Just as God forgave us in Christ, so we are to forgive one another.

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Forgiveness presupposes something.

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It presupposes that an actual wrong or sin has been committed.

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It's something beyond a mere irritation or an aggravation.

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Now the latter two may not help our relationship sinning, but they don't need forgiveness.

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Irritation or aggravation may need compromise somewhere.

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If you have a friend that does something that irritates you, you may have to compromise

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somewhere in order to continue that friendship.

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It may mean an accommodation on your part in some way so that the aggravation is reduced,

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but really forgiveness is not an issue in those kinds of things.

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But forgiveness becomes an issue when there has been an actual offense, a sin or a wrong

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that has been done toward another person.

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Now between us and God, of course, sin is not theoretical ever.

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Sin is an actuality.

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It's a reality that we have to deal with.

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God is not ever merely irritated or aggravated.

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That is a human response.

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God does not get irritated.

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God does get angry, righteously angry.

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It is a response of His holiness, His righteousness toward sin.

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God does become angry, but God doesn't get irritated or aggravated with us.

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Our sins are crimes against the standards of God's holiness.

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That's why we must have forgiveness if we would be right with God.

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If you'd be here today and you have never received that forgiveness from God because

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of what Jesus did for you, then there is nothing that is more urgent in your life.

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Everything in all of the world is more important than having that relationship with God established

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because of the removal of those sins, those crimes against His holiness.

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God is perfectly willing today to forgive you if you will do what you need to do, to

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acknowledge your sins, repent of them, and believe on the Lord Jesus as your substitute

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sin bearer.

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Between us and others, we must be willing and able to differentiate between wrongs and

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aggravations.

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I heard about a husband who drove his wife nuts because he chewed his toenails.

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Now that's pretty disgusting, isn't it?

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In fact, his wife was right down yucky, and it was aggravating to her, and it irritated

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her.

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I can only imagine how it must have, but it wasn't a matter of a sin or wrong.

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They had to come to some accommodation in that.

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I'm not sure what it was.

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There had to be some compromise there somewhere, but it wasn't necessary for forgiveness because

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forgiveness is not an issue in aggravations and irritations.

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When I sit down at the table to eat, I'm right across from my wife, but when I look past

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my wife, I see the stove, and I can always tell when a burner has been left on or an

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oven has been left on.

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Maybe some of you husbands are the same way.

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I don't know.

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That irritates me.

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Now, it's gotten to be a joke in our family.

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I mean, it's not a serious thing that's going to cause a split up in our marriage or anything

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like that, but when I sit down to a meal and I look up at her and over her head, I see

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a red light on the oven.

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The food just starts lumping together in my stomach, and I usually get up and say, just

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a minute, I'll get it.

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It's gotten a little bit of a game with us, which she happens to be winning, I think.

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Maybe you have a friend who talks too much.

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You know the kind that has just perpetual motion in this part of the face.

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Now, if the wrong things are said or if it's gossip, something like that, it can be sin

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that has to be dealt with.

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But just talking too much is not a wrong, it's not a sin.

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It can sure be irritating though.

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It can be aggravating to live with somebody like that or to work with somebody like that.

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We have to be able to differentiate between what are legitimate wrongs and sins and those

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things that are merely inconveniences or aggravations to us.

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This becomes an issue when there is an actual wrong or a sin which has occurred.

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That brings us to our second consideration because we need to examine how forgiveness

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works when it's appropriate.

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So let's think about an examination of forgiveness, and to do this, I'd like to turn to a passage

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in the Gospel of Luke, the 17th chapter.

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We have worked our way through this passage on another occasion, but it's appropriate

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to repeat it today as we think about the importance of forgiveness.

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Luke chapter 17, we'll begin in verse 3.

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And Jesus says, be on your guard if your brother sins, rebuke him.

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And if he repents, forgive him.

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And if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times saying, I repent,

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forgive him.

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I want you to notice here the process of forgiveness involves four steps.

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The first step is a sin is committed against you.

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Now again I say, it's an actual wrong that's been done, and you perceive it.

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That's step number one.

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Step number two is the offender is rebuked for his sin.

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That needs to be done carefully and wisely and in love.

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It needs to be done at the right time.

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But the Bible says that you and I have a responsibility to go to someone who has legitimately offended

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us and to express that to them.

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It's very important how we do that, isn't it?

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Because we can do it in such a way that it only aggravates the whole situation.

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So we need to do it in the right spirit, the spirit of meekness and gentleness.

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But we do have the responsibility, and step number two, to go to the brother or sister

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who has offended us and to express that.

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And in that sense, rebuke them.

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That brings us to step number three in the process.

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It is that the offender repents of his sin.

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Sometimes we are the offender, sometimes we are the offendee.

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It is the offender who needs to repent.

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How does he do that?

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Well, there are seven famous words that can be used.

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They are very difficult words to get out of your mouth.

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But they are words that are essential to learn and to exercise to employ if we're going to

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be faithful about this matter of forgiveness.

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The words are, I was wrong.

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Will you forgive me?

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There are seven little words, but it's the way to put together, and it's what they say.

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When I become aware that I have legitimately offended another person, then what is appropriate

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for me to do?

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Do I say, well, you know, we all make mistakes?

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Well, you've done it before too.

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There are all kinds of words that we can throw out that kind of sidestep the issue, but what

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we need to say at that moment so the process of forgiveness can go on is, I was wrong.

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Now maybe the other person was wrong in some respects too, that's another issue.

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You can care for that, you need to care for it if there was another wrong done.

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But when you're confronted by having done something wrong, I was wrong.

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Will you forgive me?

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Now I'd like for all of you to say those seven words with me, would you?

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Just out loud, you're not saying to anybody in particular, it shouldn't hurt too much.

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Let's say them together.

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I was wrong.

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Will you forgive me?

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See how painless that is?

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Until you've got to say it to somebody else, then it's kind of tough.

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Step number three, the offender repents of his sin.

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Step number four, you extend forgiveness to the offender.

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You say, I forgive you.

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And Jesus says that this process really has no limitations.

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When he says seven times a day, he's using a figure of speech which really means however

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many times this person will do this to you.

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And if he then repents of it, then that many times you must forgive.

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There is no limitation to forgiveness in that situation.

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That's how forgiveness works ideally.

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You know when you talk about something like this, immediately there are questions that

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fly up to the mind.

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But what about this?

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What about that?

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It's impossible to address all of those.

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I'd like for us this morning to think about a few of them as we elaborate upon what forgiveness

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means and how it works.

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Let's answer some practical questions that arise.

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One question is this, what if the offender doesn't repent?

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I go to the person and in the best spirit that God gives me, I confront that person

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and he does not see what he's done or refuses to acknowledge what he's done.

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What am I to do then?

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Well, I think we have part of an answer to that at least back in the Gospel of Matthew

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chapter 18.

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It's a little bit of a different context, but not entirely.

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It's somewhat of a broader group involved.

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It's a whole church.

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You'll notice in verse 21 a very similar question is asked, this time by Peter, regarding forgiveness.

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And Jesus essentially repeats what he said in Luke.

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But I want to look at verse 15 of Matthew 18, and if your brother sins, go and reprove

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him in private.

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If he listens to you, you have won your brother.

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There you see the process is assumed to have been followed and completed.

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But if he does not listen to you, if he refuses to acknowledge what he's done, take one or

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two more with you so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be

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confirmed.

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And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.

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And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax gatherer.

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Now keep in mind that the real context here seems to be that of church discipline.

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It's a broader group.

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But what do we say about the personal aspect of this?

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Well, I've been personally offended.

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What happens if my friend, my brother, refuses to acknowledge what he's done to me?

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Well, in that case, it may be appropriate to bring someone else who can try to help

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the other person see what he's done.

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But the fact is that if there is a continued unwillingness or failure to admit what has

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happened, then it causes a breakdown of fellowship.

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It means that I'm not able any longer to fellowship as I once did with that person.

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Now I want to hasten to say that I must not hold a grudge against that person.

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I must not allow bitterness to become an issue in my own soul because of his unwillingness

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to admit what he's done wrong.

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But as far as the personal offense is concerned, I must maintain an eager willingness to forgive

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just as soon as that person sees what he's done.

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Now remember, we're talking about a legitimate wrong.

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If at first he is unwilling to admit it, rather than allowing bitterness to encompass my soul,

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I am to have an eager willingness always to forgive as soon as he repents.

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But as far as the moral principle is concerned, the fact is that I cannot forgive until there

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is an acknowledgement and repentance of what has happened.

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You see, personally, I have to be ready, eager, willing of heart to forgive instantly.

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But if there is no repentance on his part, then as far as the moral principle is concerned,

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I cannot forgive him until there is acknowledgement and repentance.

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What if the offender is not reachable?

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That's another question that comes up.

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Maybe you don't know where the person even lives that has offended you.

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Perhaps the individual has died.

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What do you do in a case like that?

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I believe the best answer is that in cases where the person who has offended is unreachable,

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you simply commit to God the offense and claim his justice on it.

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Say, Lord, I commit my claims to you.

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You deal with it as only you can.

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And then I must freely release all of that situation into God's hands because I can't

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do anything about it.

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I can't follow the process of forgiveness.

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I don't know where the other person is.

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I've had the experience of saying to God, now God, you know, this happened and I don't

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know where this person is.

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I haven't seen him for years.

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If you want me to straighten it out, then you have to get a hold of me.

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Be careful.

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That's happened to me before.

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And then I had to keep my word.

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Years since the last contact and all of a sudden, well, hi, how are you?

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Oh, hi, surprised to hear from you.

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Then we had to deal with it.

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But when you don't know where the person is, commit to God, to his sovereign justice, and

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then just release the whole thing to the Lord.

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That'll free you.

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Then we come to another question that we have to honestly face, and that is, what if I'm

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the offender and the other person is unaware of my wrong?

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What do I do in a case like that?

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Where I know I've done something wrong against another person.

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I haven't just irritated them.

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I haven't just aggravated them, but I've actually sinned against another person and he's not

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aware of it.

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She's not aware of it.

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What am I to do in a case like that?

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Well, the fact is that there is no conclusive answer for every case.

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We have to realize that there are some situations where to go to the other party may only create

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more problems.

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For example, if you've had evil thoughts about another person and you've sinned against them

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in that sense, and the other person is totally unaware of it, it is not proper to go to the

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other person and say, I need to acknowledge to you and ask your forgiveness for evil thoughts

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I've had about you, because that only creates more problems.

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What's going to happen in the mind of the other person?

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Wonder what he's been thinking.

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The best thing to do in a case like that is simply to acknowledge to God the evil thoughts

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and claim his forgiveness.

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On the other hand, it may be that as an employee, you have done something wrong against your

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employer.

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Let's say, for example, you've taken something from work that wasn't yours.

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What do you do in a case like that?

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Well, the easiest thing to do would be to say, God, I acknowledge it and claim his forgiveness.

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But I think we have to go a step beyond that in a case like this.

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And we need to go to the employer and say, this is what happened.

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And I ask your forgiveness for it, and I'm willing to do whatever I can do to make it

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right with you.

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Very rarely does that ever backfire.

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What it usually does is to give the employer greater confidence in your integrity.

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I heard recently about a man who wrote to the IRS send in a check.

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Have you heard this story?

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And with the check, he sent a note that said, in essence, my conscience has been bothering

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me because I've underpaid my taxes.

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Please accept this check.

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Now, at the bottom it said, PS, if my conscience keeps bothering me, I'll send you the rest.

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That's not the way it works.

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That's not the way it works.

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If the other person is unaware that I've done something wrong, we need to carefully evaluate

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that and you may want to get the counsel of a trusted, mature Christian friend to help

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you wade through some of the issues.

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None of us can be perfectly objective about our own lives.

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Another question arises, didn't Jesus freely forgive on the cross without any conditions

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attached to it?

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I mean, you're saying in the process of forgiveness that before he can forgive, there has to be

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repentance.

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And yet Jesus on the cross said, Father, forgive them.

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They know not what they do.

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And it appears to be an unconditional forgiveness.

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Well, in fact, Jesus did speak those words from the cross.

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But another fact is that God did extend no personal forgiveness for that offense until

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there was personal repentance in Acts chapter two.

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Though the Lord Jesus spoke those words from the cross, there was no forgiveness extended

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until there was repentance.

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Acts chapter two, where Peter preached to the crowds, including some of those who had

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had a hand in the crucifixion.

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And he lays that on them and commands them to repent that they might receive the forgiveness

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of sins.

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Someone asked, what if I'm not willing to forgive?

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Occasionally, there are people who are that way.

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It may be that the offense has been so deep and the hurt has been so painful that they

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have trouble extending forgiveness, even when it's asked for, even when there is repentance

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on the part of the person who's done the wrong.

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What if I'm unwilling to forgive?

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Will God still forgive me?

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Well, let's look at the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter six.

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This is in the context of the familiar Lord's Prayer, as we call it.

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You recall well this phrase, don't you, as recorded here in Matthew 6-12, and forgive

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us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.

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Look again in verse 14, for if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly

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Father will also forgive you.

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But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

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What if I'm not willing to forgive?

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Will God forgive me?

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The answer is no, He will not.

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This does not mean that willingness to forgive becomes a condition for divine forgiveness,

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so much as it means that an unforgiving attitude evinces one's own lack of genuine repentance

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before God.

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If I am unwilling to forgive another person, what that's really saying, what that's really

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testifying to, is that I myself have not genuinely repented of my own sinfulness before God.

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George Herbert said, he who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself

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must pass.

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Let me repeat that.

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He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.

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Someone says, I do want to forgive, but my problem is I can't seem to forget.

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Of course you can't forget, because your mind brings back the memories of the offense and

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also the feelings that accompanied that offense.

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Now why is that?

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Is it that you haven't really forgiven because you haven't forgotten?

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No.

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The fact is that you are human, and your mind brings those things back to your memory because

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you are human, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you fail to forgive.

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What do you do in a case where you want to forgive, you've extended forgiveness, but

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the memories are still with you?

375
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What do you do in a case like that?

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In the first place, take the feelings that you have to God.

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If you still have feelings toward the other person, even though the whole process of forgiveness

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has been worked through, there are still feelings that you have.

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What you need to do is take those feelings to God.

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Do not take them to the other person.

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Take them to God.

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And then, as an act of faith on your part, even though you may still struggle with those

383
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feelings, begin treating the other person as one who is forgiven.

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Even if you can't forget what happened, begin treating the other person as one who has been

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forgiven.

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As Gary Chapman said, I choose to treat you as though you have not sinned against me.

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And if you will take that action, you will find that eventually your feelings will catch

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up with it, even though the offense may never be erased from your memory because God has

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given you a mind that remembers everything that happens to you, at least in the subconscious.

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So you're struggling with finding forgiveness from God for some offense.

391
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And you wonder, will God forgive me for that terrible thing that I did?

392
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I want to repeat what I said earlier.

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Christ can forgive any sin.

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He can overlook none.

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He can forgive you.

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As it says in Colossians 1, 14, in whom, in Christ, we have redemption, the forgiveness

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of sins.

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In the next chapter of that same book, Paul goes on to talk about the forgiveness of all

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of our trespasses and our sins.

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If today you are wondering, as you sit there, can God, will God forgive me for, and then

401
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:52,120
you fill in the blank, I want you to know that for Jesus' sake, your faith being placed

402
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,400
in him, he will forgive you.

403
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And he will lift from you the penalty of justice that has been on your shoulders.

404
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,920
He will carry it away.

405
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He will pardon you.

406
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He will.

407
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That is the kind of God that he is.

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00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:18,080
It may be that you have confessed your sin to God, you've claimed his forgiveness, but

409
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you have trouble feeling that God has forgiven you.

410
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You don't feel forgiven.

411
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That is often an issue.

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Let me tell you about an old seaman, 80 years of age, by the name of Denny Malone.

413
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His minister came to call on him, and as they chatted, Denny said to his pastor that he

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had been trying to get God to forgive him for something in his life for six years.

415
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And he said, quote, but he won't, close quote.

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That is, he won't forgive me.

417
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His pastor looked at him and said, well, Denny, have you repented?

418
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He shook his head yes.

419
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He says, Denny, have you trusted Christ?

420
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He said yes.

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The pastor said, then you found him, and you found forgiveness.

422
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And Denny shook his head and said, I never feel that forgiveness in my heart.

423
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And so the minister took his Bible and opened it to several passages dealing with forgiveness,

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including 1 John 1, 9, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our

425
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sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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After reading that verse, he said, Denny, said, Denny, when you give your word, do you

427
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:52,600
keep it?

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And the old seaman said, well, sure I do.

429
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Doesn't a gentleman always keep his word?

430
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:08,880
The pastor looked at him and said, but Denny, don't you think God is a gentleman?

431
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,000
And all of a sudden the light shone on Denny's face.

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And he said, what a fool I've been up till now.

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He said, I know I am forgiven and I feel it.

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My friend, God is a gentleman.

435
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:24,640
He keeps his word.

436
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:35,280
He is faithful and he is just in forgiving you when you bring your sin to him.

437
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The act of forgiveness seems hard for us, especially when someone has deeply wronged

438
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,200
us.

439
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,820
How do we get the power?

440
00:35:48,820 --> 00:35:59,200
How do we get the ability to forgive someone who has deeply offended us?

441
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:04,680
Someone put it this way, how can one gain a forgiving heart?

442
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:13,680
Only by going to the cross and there seeing how much our Lord has forgiven us and at what

443
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a cost.

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Then we shall see that the utmost we are called upon to forgive compared with what we have

445
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been forgiven is a very little thing.

446
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Are you struggling today with forgiveness of another person?

447
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:42,040
It may be that that person has come to you and asked for forgiveness and you have not

448
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been willing to forgive to this point.

449
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That is wrong.

450
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,920
It may be that you are at the very beginning of the process and you need to go to someone

451
00:36:54,920 --> 00:37:01,960
and lovingly and in a timely way confront them and say, here is what happened and here

452
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,720
is how I feel about it.

453
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:14,120
Forgiveness of another person, whether it is giving forgiveness or receiving forgiveness,

454
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forgiveness of another is an act of grace that reflects the grace of God in our own

455
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,800
lives.

456
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:37,120
Be kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven

457
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,560
you.

458
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Let us pray.

459
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I would like for us to take a few moments to pray and maybe you would like to slip to

460
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,080
your knees where you are.

461
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,300
We do that occasionally in our prayer times.

462
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If you can physically and if you desire to, if you have that mind or spirit at this moment,

463
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:07,120
feel free to slip out of your seat and to your knees right there beside your chair as

464
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:18,760
we talk to the Lord together.

465
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Is there some issue between you and the Lord?

466
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Do you see that the penalty of justice was carried out upon Jesus?

467
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:42,840
Will you acknowledge your sin and repent of it, change your mind about it, and bring it

468
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:50,580
to Him confessing it is sin and at the same time have the attitude of faith in receiving

469
00:38:50,580 --> 00:38:55,320
Jesus and receiving God's forgiveness?

470
00:38:55,320 --> 00:39:13,200
Oh, what joy to hear His words, you are forgiven and to feel it, to know it.

471
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:18,120
Perhaps the issue of forgiveness is lateral.

472
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,980
It's between you and someone else.

473
00:39:19,980 --> 00:39:27,480
Maybe you have been offended, perhaps you have offended.

474
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:36,760
Your project for this message is to deal with that matter.

475
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:41,360
And I'd like for you in response to what God has said through His word today to all of

476
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:50,420
us to commit yourself right where you're seated to following through.

477
00:39:50,420 --> 00:39:55,480
If you've been offended, follow the steps we've talked about.

478
00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:03,200
If you have offended and if it's appropriate for you to go to that other person, then you

479
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:09,440
need to say you'll do that and say it to the Lord.

480
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:19,640
Giving and forgiving and giving forgiveness are essential to putting our past behind us

481
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:25,440
and going on in our walk with God.

482
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:37,760
Father, I pray that in the quietness of this time, you will graciously impose upon our

483
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:44,520
hearts those steps that we need to follow so that we will be in a place of obedience.

484
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:55,360
Oh, may none of us walk away from the word today under bondage.

485
00:40:55,360 --> 00:41:08,000
Lord, liberate us so that we can give or receive forgiveness.

486
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:27,000
In Jesus' name, amen.