1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Thanks, John. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,120 Emily did so well with the children up here. 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:11,120 I wonder if all the adults would come up and just sit on the steps. 4 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,120 I guess not. 5 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,600 Okay, well, we'll go ahead anyway. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,560 Open your Bible with me, please, to Ephesians chapter 5. 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:26,320 In this month of the family today, we're thinking about growing family responsibility. 8 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:31,800 The word responsibility comes from a Latin root meaning an answer. 9 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:37,560 And so one who has a responsibility is one who is expected to give an answer. 10 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,800 He is accountable. 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,280 She is answerable. 12 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:50,320 Perhaps the epitome of responsibility is found in Hammer, Norway this next week as athletes 13 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:58,680 from around the world together to account for themselves and their practice over the last six or eight years. 14 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,120 How many of you are of Norwegian descent? 15 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,360 Would you lift your hand? 16 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,680 A lot of you are very proud of that and certainly you should be proud of the way that Norway 17 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:12,400 opened the Games so spectacularly last night. 18 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:18,400 And a beautiful Olympics will be taking place over the next couple of weeks. 19 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,520 Can you imagine yourself there on that ski slope? 20 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,520 Neither can I. 21 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,320 But just for a moment, try to. 22 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,640 As you're looking down that slope and you see the end of it and where you're going to 23 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:36,760 jump all by yourself, there to give account for the practice that you have put in over 24 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,040 these last many years. 25 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:45,920 Not only to be accountable for yourself, but to be responsible for the honor of your nation. 26 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:51,240 Knowing that millions of people are watching you and their dreams and hopes for medal hang 27 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,640 upon your ability at that moment. 28 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,640 That's responsibility. 29 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:04,440 A humorist has defined responsibility as what one suspender button has when the other button 30 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,000 comes off. 31 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,720 And that's true, isn't it? 32 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:13,760 And yet we sometimes imagine how fun life would be if we just had no responsibilities. 33 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:19,680 If only life were a perpetual vacation, we think. 34 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:24,600 We get weary and we get disillusioned with the load that we carry. 35 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,880 Parents especially are prone to this. 36 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,280 But so are employees who say, I just don't think I can go in there tomorrow and punch 37 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,480 that clock. 38 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,840 Or students who say, if I have one more test in that class. 39 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:44,760 And children say, if I have to take the garbage out one more day. 40 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:51,960 No matter what level we're at in life, responsibility gets tiring. 41 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:59,600 But you know life devoid of responsibility wouldn't be much fun either. 42 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:05,760 Responsibility is what makes life enjoyable because it gives us a sense of accomplishment 43 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,140 and fulfillment. 44 00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:12,480 Life without responsibility truly would be boring. 45 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,700 Some of you are praying for a boring day, I know. 46 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:18,000 But you wouldn't want a boring life. 47 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:27,200 To have no responsibility would be to lose significance and meaning. 48 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,880 Responsibility is important to a happy life. 49 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,800 It provides incentive. 50 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,320 And it enables us to enjoy a sense of accomplishment. 51 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:42,520 It is the person who has learned the value of responsibility who is truly free to enjoy 52 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,080 life, the gift of life that God has given. 53 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:51,400 We are created by God to be responsible people. 54 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,480 We are responsible for the way that we live. 55 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,920 We're different than animals in that sense. 56 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:02,400 Animals are not created with responsibility. 57 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,320 Animals have instinct, but they're not responsible for what they do. 58 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:12,000 Have you ever heard of a court for animals where they're brought before the judge? 59 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,940 Of course not. 60 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:18,120 And animals don't go to heaven. 61 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,120 I'm sorry if that breaks the balloon of some child here. 62 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:27,600 I remember when I was about six years old our first pet, Brownie, was a Cocker Spaniel. 63 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,600 What color do you suppose she was? 64 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,960 Brown, right. 65 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,640 A very original name. 66 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,540 Brownie had only one fault. 67 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,900 She liked to chase cars. 68 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,400 And one day she chased one car too many. 69 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,120 It happened to be the mailman. 70 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,760 And the result was that she was run over and she died. 71 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,360 And I cried and my brothers cried. 72 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:55,440 And my mother told us, well, Brownie has gone to heaven. 73 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,600 Brownie is going to be in heaven. 74 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:04,720 And as a child that comforted my heart, but I've come to understand that truly animals 75 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,480 don't go to heaven. 76 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,720 When animals die, they die. 77 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,920 Their purpose is for this world. 78 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,680 And God gives them to us to enjoy. 79 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,760 But once they are gone from this world, they are no more. 80 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,600 That is not true of human beings. 81 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,120 We're different than animals. 82 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:33,200 Contrary to what you may hear in some of your classrooms, we are not highly evolved animals. 83 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:39,000 Human beings are created by God uniquely and part of our unique creation is that we are 84 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,200 responsible people. 85 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,400 Life for us is a stewardship. 86 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:50,360 It is a trust that we're expected to manage. 87 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:55,640 Responsibility or a sense of accountability doesn't come naturally to most of us. 88 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,080 Some are more inclined to be responsible as they grow up, but the fact is that all of 89 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,640 us have to learn it. 90 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:06,560 And learning responsibility happens most naturally within a family setting. 91 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:11,400 In fact, I think we can say that it's one of the most important personal qualities to 92 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,040 be hammered out on the anvil of family life. 93 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,560 Responsibility. 94 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,000 It's not easy to learn responsibility. 95 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,040 It's really not easy to teach responsibility either as a parent. 96 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:32,400 But it's essential to be both a student and teacher of this trait. 97 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,920 The book of Ephesians is divided into two parts. 98 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:40,440 As most of you know, the first part is about our life in Christ, the salvation we have 99 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:45,600 in Him, who we are in Christ, and the last part is a practical application of all of 100 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,320 that in various settings of life and it includes the home. 101 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:56,400 We're going to pick up in verse 33 of chapter 5 and read a few verses that talk about responsibility 102 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,440 in the family setting. 103 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:08,920 Nevertheless, let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself and 104 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:13,640 let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. 105 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,540 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. 106 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:22,680 Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise that it 107 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,520 may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. 108 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:32,800 And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline 109 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,560 and instruction of the Lord. 110 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:42,960 There are three insights in this text about growing responsibility in the family setting, 111 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:49,960 which will help us to see its importance and know better how to enjoy the benefits that 112 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,720 responsibility brings. 113 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:58,360 The first insight is regarding marriage and it says that marriage expresses God's original 114 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:03,480 design for responsible living. 115 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:09,300 Now the text that I've read comes at the end of a whole paragraph on the home. 116 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:17,920 Verse 33 fairly summarizes the whole text beginning with verse 22. 117 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:25,420 It talks to husbands and wives and the unique rules given to each. 118 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:29,200 God instituted marriage before the fall. 119 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,040 Did you know that? 120 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,920 Some people who get unhappy in their marriage say, oh, what a curse marriage is, it's a 121 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,800 part of the fall into sin. 122 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,440 What about? 123 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:47,400 Before man ever fell into sin, he instituted marriage. 124 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,040 And we're going to go back to Genesis chapter 2 and read about that. 125 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:55,400 I invite you to open your Bible to Genesis 2 and verse 18. 126 00:08:55,400 --> 00:09:02,440 In the longer context, Paul quotes a verse, in fact he quotes verse 18 of Genesis 2. 127 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:08,920 Well, we're going to start reading. 128 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:17,480 Marriage is a good gift from God out of his creative wisdom for the happiness of mankind. 129 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,040 We're going to see here that God has established order in the home. 130 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:26,720 The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. 131 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:31,240 I will make him a helper suitable for him. 132 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:36,880 Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky 133 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,560 and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. 134 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:45,400 And whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name. 135 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:49,600 And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and every beast of 136 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:58,080 the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 137 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:05,320 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, the first anesthesia, and he 138 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,320 slept. 139 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:12,640 And then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place and the Lord God 140 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:18,600 fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the 141 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,600 man. 142 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,100 Now why did he do that? 143 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:24,920 Because the man has been naming everything that God has created. 144 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:31,280 So now God has created something new, he brings this new creature to the man that he might 145 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,080 name her. 146 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,400 And Adam gets his eyes open real quick. 147 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,460 He says, ah, this is now bone of my bones. 148 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:44,820 This is different God than anything else I have seen. 149 00:10:44,820 --> 00:10:49,480 This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 150 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:55,760 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. 151 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:00,520 He goes on to say, for this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall 152 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:04,880 cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 153 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,960 Did you ever think about the fact that we have our marriage ceremony all screwed up? 154 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,640 What would we do in our culture? 155 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:17,080 The groom comes out and stands here. 156 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,960 And then the bride comes down the aisle with her father, sometimes with her mother. 157 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:22,960 And they give her away. 158 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:28,520 According to this verse, it says that the man shall leave his father and mother. 159 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,480 So what we ought to do is have the bride stand here and have the groom come down the aisle 160 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,280 with his mother and father. 161 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,280 And they kiss him goodbye and present him to the bride. 162 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,480 Isn't that biblical? 163 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:45,320 I didn't hear any amens on that. 164 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,480 Now we're very free with our wedding ceremonies here. 165 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,280 If you want to change it and try to implement it, go right ahead. 166 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:59,000 I'm not going to guarantee what the response will be, but what it says here is that God 167 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,160 created the woman for the man. 168 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:11,840 Now in 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Timothy chapter 2, as well as in Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians 169 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:21,200 chapter 3, it makes it very clear that God created the man to be the head of the home. 170 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:28,040 He created the wife to be the helper. 171 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:33,800 They have distinctive roles, but they are created to be equal in the sight of God. 172 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,480 The woman is not lesser human. 173 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,300 The woman is not a helper because of the fall in the sin. 174 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,920 The fall hasn't happened yet. 175 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:52,200 Man is expected to be the head of the home by God's design because he was created first. 176 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:59,080 And the woman's role is that of helping or completing her husband. 177 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:07,560 And then God gave to these two equals who had distinctive roles responsibility. 178 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:15,520 Going back to the first chapter where we picked this up as we read beginning in verse 25, 179 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:20,400 and God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, the cattle after their kind, and 180 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:26,400 everything that creeps on the ground after its kind, and God saw that it was good. 181 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:33,280 And then God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness. 182 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:39,200 And let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the 183 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:46,160 cattle of the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. 184 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,200 And God created man in his own image. 185 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:53,280 In the image of God, he created him male and female. 186 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:57,760 He created them and God blessed them. 187 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:04,520 And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and rule. 188 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:13,800 Now here's my point, that marriage expresses God's original design for responsible living. 189 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:22,120 God brought man and woman together in marriage and he gave to them responsibility. 190 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,360 You'll notice that God did not create Adam and Steve to get married. 191 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,480 It is Adam and Eve, male and female. 192 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,400 That's what marriage is about. 193 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:38,120 However, much else you hear in our culture today about it, that is not marriage. 194 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:45,760 Homosexual relationships can never be a marriage, can never be a home. 195 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:50,320 God created marriage for male and female and said to them, now rule. 196 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:56,320 You see, they were not to take a honeymoon forever in the Garden of Eden. 197 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,200 That was not to be a perpetual vacation. 198 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:05,240 God said, now I've created you, I want you to subdue the earth and rule. 199 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:10,160 God gave them responsibility. 200 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:17,440 So marriage expresses God's original design for responsible living. 201 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,520 God created us male and female. 202 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:26,400 He gave us our roles in the world and he established his marriage into home as the place where 203 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,920 responsibility starts. 204 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:34,160 Now having said that, where does singleness fit in? 205 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:38,480 Now I want you to listen carefully to what I'm going to say so that you don't misunderstand 206 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,480 me. 207 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,400 Where does singleness fit in? 208 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:51,920 Singleness fits in as a consequence of the fall of humanity into sin. 209 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:56,360 Singleness was not God's original intent or design. 210 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,320 It's the result of sin. 211 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,680 It was not the original pattern. 212 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:07,760 But I'm not saying that singleness as a state is sin. 213 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:11,680 It's the result of sin. 214 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:18,240 In fact, singleness is exalted by the Lord as the apostle Paul writes about it in 1 Corinthians 215 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,120 chapter 7. 216 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:27,800 And he says, considering the present circumstances, the present stress, whatever he meant by that, 217 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:34,260 probably a unique situation there in the world at that time, but applicable to all ages. 218 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:38,760 Considering the present circumstances, he says, in fact, that singleness is even to 219 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:43,280 be preferred over marriage. 220 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:47,200 That doesn't mean that God has established a brand new pattern is to be followed, but 221 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:53,720 it's an exception to the pattern, but a beneficial one, spiritually speaking, because one who 222 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:59,880 is single is able to devote more of the energy of life to serving Christ. 223 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:02,720 So it's an honorable state. 224 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:10,040 But God's design is for marriage, and intrinsic to marriage then is responsibility. 225 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,520 With marriage there is obligation. 226 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:18,540 There is trust to fulfill the God-designed roles for husband and wife. 227 00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:27,600 The duty is involved in love and respect, as he summarizes it in verse 33. 228 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:34,280 Now there's a second insight regarding growing family responsibility that I see in our text. 229 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:42,520 It is this, that children learn responsibility through the modeling of their parents. 230 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:49,680 As I indicated before, and as you well know, responsibility is not natural to us. 231 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:55,080 All of us had to learn to be responsible. 232 00:17:55,080 --> 00:18:01,520 Children must be disciplined and trained in what it means to be responsible. 233 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,600 This is not a marginal issue. 234 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:12,620 This is an essential for their happiness of life and for the welfare of society. 235 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:19,040 We are entering into a society today in which nobody wants to take responsibility, and our 236 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,900 courts are buying into that. 237 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:28,800 People commit heinous crimes, and then because of one thing or another they're not held responsible 238 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,300 for it. 239 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:36,060 It does not speak well for our future. 240 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:41,000 God created us to learn to be responsible in life. 241 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:47,760 Children learn responsibility through the modeling of mom and dad. 242 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:55,000 The training begins as parents set the pace and live out in their own lives the meaning 243 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,440 of responsibility. 244 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:04,000 Parents model it, and how do parents model responsibility to the kids? 245 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,440 Let me suggest several ways. 246 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:11,440 First of all, by keeping their vows of marriage. 247 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:20,080 A husband and wife stood before God and a few others, or maybe many others, and as a 248 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:26,800 part of the ceremony said words something like this, I take you for better or for worse. 249 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:34,680 Say, yeah, but I didn't know how much worse. 250 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,360 For richer or for poorer. 251 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:42,080 But I didn't know how poor. 252 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:53,080 In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. 253 00:19:53,080 --> 00:20:00,920 That is a vow made before God. 254 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:06,280 A bride and groom really do not understand those vows, or they might write them a little 255 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,600 differently. 256 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:12,880 Sometimes they do, but there's always these thoughts wrapped up in it. 257 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:21,280 We don't know what the future holds, but it's when mom and dad are faithful to their 258 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:29,080 marriage vows that children understand what responsibility means. 259 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:39,440 Now in our culture, divorce is so easy, legally. 260 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:46,960 People get divorced because of irreconcilable differences or a whole list of reasons, and 261 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:52,600 the result of that is that children see it doesn't mean anything to give your vow to 262 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:57,680 God. 263 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,080 Marriage really isn't that important. 264 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,680 Look at mom and dad, they got a divorce. 265 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,400 You understand my point, I know. 266 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:13,980 Having said that, and I want to underscore again the importance of those vows, that God 267 00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:22,800 intends for marriage to be a monogamous union between a man and woman for life. 268 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:29,400 We also recognize that it takes two, especially with the laws as they are today, it takes 269 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:34,940 two people to keep a marriage together. 270 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:41,280 Some of you have been through divorce. 271 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,320 Someone asked another person, who won the divorce? 272 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,440 The answer was nobody, and that's true. 273 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:54,240 I want to tell you, there are no winners in divorce, and among the most hurt and tragic 274 00:21:54,240 --> 00:22:03,100 losers in divorce are the children who see the model of responsibility shattered as their 275 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:09,920 home is torn apart. 276 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:14,840 But we live in a fallen world, and God knows that. 277 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:23,440 As I understand God's word, he has made a couple of very narrow allowances for divorce, 278 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,680 nothing like what our society says. 279 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:34,120 But God permits it because of the hardness of the human heart in certain cases. 280 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:39,480 And because our laws are written the way they are today, a person can be quite opposed to 281 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:45,160 divorce and still be faced with it in his life or her life. 282 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,160 What do you do then? 283 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,920 What do you do when that model has been shattered? 284 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:58,120 Then as a single mom or a single dad, you just seek God's grace to model responsibility 285 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,680 in that role that's been thrust upon you. 286 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,840 My mother did that for seven years. 287 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,540 It can be done. 288 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:06,880 It is a heavy load. 289 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,160 It is not easy. 290 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:17,760 But God can give you the grace to model responsibility where you are at that moment. 291 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:23,800 And then moms and dads model responsibility in giving themselves sacrificially for the 292 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,760 welfare of their children. 293 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:30,420 Now I need to say this in balance because there is a tendency, especially in the part 294 00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:37,360 of baby boomers, to want to give their kids too much, to not to deny them any toy that 295 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:49,960 they may wish, any privilege they may crave, any game for Nintendo. 296 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,920 But conversely there are some parents who are so wrapped up in themselves that they 297 00:23:53,920 --> 00:24:02,920 don't have time for their kids and who sometimes don't even provide for them in a physical 298 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,840 way, a material way. 299 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:11,680 We have all wept as we've heard about the children in Chicago a couple of weeks ago, 300 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:20,240 19 of them in a cold apartment without food and clothing. 301 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:26,200 Children learn responsibility by following the model of their parents who provide in 302 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:31,760 a balanced right way for their needs. 303 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,880 And then parents model responsibility by doing what pleases God. 304 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,000 Children see that. 305 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:45,680 They know when mom and dad are doing what is pleasing to God, however difficult it may 306 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:51,640 be, however high the price, moms and dads, we must set an example of responsibility before 307 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,680 our children when it comes to spiritual things. 308 00:24:55,680 --> 00:25:01,880 It has been noted that each generation tends to be a little less faithful, a little less 309 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:08,000 responsible to God than the previous generation. 310 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:15,200 If that be true, how faithful, how responsible are your children going to be to God and for 311 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,560 His work in the next generation as their adults? 312 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:26,600 You see, we need to model a very careful example of faithfulness of being responsible to God 313 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:33,400 so that our kids have that model to follow. 314 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:38,680 We model responsibility to our children by establishing boundaries for them. 315 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,280 Kids need boundaries. 316 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:47,080 They must have them set or they're frustrated. 317 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,360 They may push against them. 318 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,160 They may cry about them. 319 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:55,840 They may complain that they're there, but they need boundaries. 320 00:25:55,840 --> 00:26:02,240 Setting expectations for them, explaining rationale for rules, giving them chores to 321 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:08,000 do, permitting consequences for disobedience or for failure, allowing them to suffer a 322 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,840 little bit because they fail to do something. 323 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,320 All of these things model for them what it means to be responsible so that as they grow 324 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:21,640 up, they tend to grow up as responsible adults. 325 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,920 You see, to lead a productive and satisfying life, children must learn responsibility and 326 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:35,720 they learn it best in the home setting through our parental modeling. 327 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:40,540 As I say that, there are some of you parents sitting here today and you're just overwhelmed 328 00:26:40,540 --> 00:26:52,000 with guilt because some of you have adult children who are not responsible and you say 329 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,680 it's all my fault. 330 00:26:54,680 --> 00:27:02,600 If only I had, if only we had, and you can go on forever thinking thoughts like that, 331 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,400 I want to bring a word of encouragement to you. 332 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:13,920 Do you know that even the best of parents may not be able to persuade all their children 333 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,740 to be responsible? 334 00:27:17,740 --> 00:27:21,760 I'm thinking of a man in the Bible who had two sons. 335 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:28,340 One of them was responsible to a fault, the other one had no responsibility at all. 336 00:27:28,340 --> 00:27:35,280 The man is not named, but he had a son who was prodigal. 337 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:44,400 And we so admire this man that we often compare him favorably to God himself and say that 338 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:50,540 he opened his arms to receive his repentant son as God opens his arms to receive us when 339 00:27:50,540 --> 00:27:53,880 we repent. 340 00:27:53,880 --> 00:28:03,800 This good and godly father had a son who was irresponsible. 341 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:09,360 Undoubtedly he shed many tears just like you shed, but I want to tell you today, don't 342 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:13,760 allow yourself to be overwhelmed by guilt because you have a child who didn't learn 343 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,760 his lessons very well. 344 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:23,760 And do what that father did, allow that child to experience the consequences of his irresponsibility. 345 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:34,000 And pray for him, pray for her, that in due time they may return. 346 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:40,320 So as you think about the responsibility you have to model before your children, don't 347 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,480 expect perfection of yourself. 348 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:49,040 And if you have a child who fails, at least at this point in his life, don't allow yourself 349 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,080 to be overwhelmed by feeling guilty for it. 350 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:56,960 You may need to go back and apologize for things you did wrong, be very transparent 351 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:02,720 about your failures to the child, that may be part of the process in helping. 352 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:11,960 But don't allow your life to be ruined by unnecessary guilt. 353 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:18,240 My third insight and very quickly we touch on it is that a family matures in responsibility 354 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:22,160 as it conforms to God's plan. 355 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:27,000 A responsibility unfortunately isn't learned in a single episode. 356 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000 Don't you wish it could be? 357 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:36,160 I mean just one lesson and the child forever will be responsible after that. 358 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,440 But responsibility is a process. 359 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:46,600 It begins with small steps and lots of failures, but over time with discipline and correction 360 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:52,840 and larger steps and more responsibility and given freedom as a result of that, a family 361 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,360 matures and every one of the family plays a part. 362 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,480 The parents have a part. 363 00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:06,640 Going back to Ephesians again it says fathers don't provoke, don't stimulate your children 364 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,680 to wrath. 365 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:18,000 What caused them to be exasperated is the thought. 366 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,920 Do not provoke your children to anger. 367 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,420 How do you do that? 368 00:30:25,420 --> 00:30:32,700 We exasperate our children when we for example over discipline them. 369 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:37,320 We discipline them for things that they're not old enough to be responsible for yet for 370 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:38,800 example. 371 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:45,080 I think a parent with the first child is especially prone to that. 372 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:51,720 As we get more children we realize more appropriately what children ought to be like at certain 373 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,140 ages. 374 00:30:53,140 --> 00:31:01,000 If you are a new parent, you have a child you're rearing in your home, be patient. 375 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,200 Don't over discipline. 376 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,960 That's a danger. 377 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:11,480 The other danger is not to discipline at all, but don't over discipline. 378 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,400 Don't withhold your love. 379 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:19,520 I had a friend who's now with the Lord who had two daughters. 380 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:27,520 The guy liked to play around with psychology and he owned up to doing something that I 381 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:36,200 think may have revealed a real problem in his life psychologically as well as it hurt 382 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,320 his children. 383 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:43,760 When they were very small toddlers he would smile and softly say to the one, I hate you, 384 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,840 I hate you. 385 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:59,720 To the other one he would with a very gruff mean voice say, I love you, I love you. 386 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:04,060 He was trying to see what the effect would be of the words and the tone, the actions 387 00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:07,000 to see how the child would respond to that. 388 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:14,440 To me that's very cruel and I think he paid a price for it in the two girls as they grew 389 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,200 up. 390 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:21,680 We ought not to treat our children as guinea pigs. 391 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:26,280 We exasperate our children when we give them everything they want. 392 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:31,320 We exasperate our children when we conform our schedules to their every wish. 393 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,720 They don't need that. 394 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:42,560 We exasperate them when we pamper them by giving them everything that they ask for. 395 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:48,120 That exasperates children and we're commanded in the word of God not to do that, but as 396 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,840 parents we are to nurture them. 397 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:54,500 I'm looking for spring anywhere I can find it these days. 398 00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:55,960 This is a word for spring. 399 00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:03,080 To nurture is the picture of a plant that's being carefully tended. 400 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:09,280 It's like that plant you may have there in your kitchen and you carefully till the soil 401 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,920 around and you water and you stick in those fertilizer sticks. 402 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:18,160 Just watching that plant grow, you nurture it and this is the picture with our children 403 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,200 we are to nurture them. 404 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,920 It uses two words by discipline and by instruction. 405 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:31,880 The one means by training by act, the other training by word. 406 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,200 That's the role of the parents in maturing responsibility in the home. 407 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,760 What about children? 408 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:42,400 Children obey your parents in the Lord. 409 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,700 That's right. 410 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:45,760 It's right to do that. 411 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,920 Honor your father and mother. 412 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:56,680 There comes a point in life when you can no longer be held responsible to obey your parents 413 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:05,880 as you establish your own home, but you must always honor your parents. 414 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,560 When parents are modeling their roles and nurturing their children and when children 415 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:18,600 are learning to obey and to honor their parents, the family matures in responsibility. 416 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,800 Responsible living tends toward a happy and long life. 417 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,040 Notice what it says. 418 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,400 This is the first commandment with promise. 419 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,400 What is that promise? 420 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:31,600 That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. 421 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:40,800 That is, those who learn responsibility, those who fulfill and carry out their responsibility, 422 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:45,800 tend to live happier lives and longer lives. 423 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:51,600 I begin by saying that we are created by God to be responsible beings. 424 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:55,320 The Bible says we shall all give account of ourselves to God. 425 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,500 We shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 426 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:02,800 We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ that each one may be recompensed 427 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,440 for his deeds in the body. 428 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:11,000 We're not like animals. 429 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,920 Someday we are going to stand before God and give account for our lives. 430 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,760 Now on one hand that's kind of a fearful thought. 431 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,320 It was even to Paul. 432 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:29,280 But on the other hand it's a delightful thought that God entrusts to us the gift of life. 433 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:34,200 He wants us to enjoy it by learning to be responsible and someday when we get to heaven 434 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:42,680 he's even going to reward us with eternal rewards because we have learned responsibility. 435 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,960 So as we think about the judgment seat of Christ, let's anticipate the fact that we 436 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:54,080 will receive our just due when we have been responsible, when we've paid a price for it, 437 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,800 when we've been faithful in its cost to something. 438 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:04,280 Let's remember that God sees and God will reward for our being responsible. 439 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,720 Someone has said there are three things that we should all think about. 440 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:20,520 From where you came, where you're going, and to whom, to whom you must give an account. 441 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:26,840 Let's think about those as we bow in prayer. 442 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:34,740 I hope that you know that you came into this world not as an accident, but as someone whom 443 00:36:34,740 --> 00:36:40,820 God planned. 444 00:36:40,820 --> 00:36:46,160 And God your creator wants to be your redeemer and Savior. 445 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,080 He gave his Son on the cross to die for your sins. 446 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,080 He rose again from the dead. 447 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:58,280 That he might be in a position to forgive you and give you the gift of eternal life. 448 00:36:58,280 --> 00:36:59,280 Where are you going? 449 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:00,640 Are you going to heaven? 450 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,560 Do you know that? 451 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,480 I hope you do. 452 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,440 If not, will you give your heart to Christ? 453 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,080 Will you trust him today? 454 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:15,760 Believe on him for the saving of your soul? 455 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,080 And then think about to whom you must give an account. 456 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:22,400 The fact is that all of us one day will stand before God. 457 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:28,360 How wonderful to know that when you do your sins are forgiven if you're in Christ, if 458 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,260 you've trusted him. 459 00:37:32,260 --> 00:37:38,480 But we will also stand there, our sins forgiven, to give account for our lives, our deeds, 460 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:42,960 whether we've learned to be responsible. 461 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:49,760 So as we think of that, let's ask the Lord to teach us what it means to be responsible 462 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,840 individually and in our families. 463 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,800 Father may we grow in responsibility in your family. 464 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:02,720 And in our own family units may we grow in responsibility. 465 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:07,520 We've been created for that as part of what life is about and all of its joys and its 466 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,480 opportunities. 467 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:18,000 And I pray that where you have found irresponsibility in us, that you would point that out that 468 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:24,480 we may acknowledge it, confess it as sin, and give ourselves a fresh to you. 469 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:32,480 May we learn by the power of the Holy Spirit to live in the joy of fulfilling our God designed 470 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:40,480 roles in the family and the responsibility you've given us in the world. 471 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:50,560 May we hear one day those words, well done, good and faithful, responsible servant. 472 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:56,520 Singing together with me a response from your heart I trust, the simple little chorus, 473 00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,600 In my life Lord, in my life be glorified. 474 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,600 Let's sing it. 475 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:15,600 In my life Lord, be glorified, be glorified. 476 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:26,360 In my life Lord, be glorified. 477 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,720 Let's stand together please. 478 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:37,280 May the response from our hearts also embrace our homes so that we as husbands and wives, 479 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:45,560 as moms and dads, as children, say Lord in our home be glorified. 480 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:50,520 We want to grow in responsibility Lord, in our home be glorified. 481 00:39:50,520 --> 00:40:03,520 In our home Lord, be glorified, be glorified. 482 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:14,160 In our homes Lord, be glorified. 483 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:20,160 Lord that is our prayer and as we go from here we ask you to teach us what we need to 484 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:26,080 know that we may live in this world with all of the joys, the opportunities, and the freedoms 485 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,120 that you've given us in Jesus Christ. 486 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:34,760 May we live as responsible people who will joyously be able one day to stand before you 487 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:40,940 and hear your commendation and receive your gracious reward. 488 00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:45,440 In Jesus' name, amen.