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The Ten Commandments are theology in work clothes.

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They comprise the essence of ethics, the behavior of belief as God has prescribed it.

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We have in previous Sundays looked at the first four of the Ten Commandments dealing

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with our relationship with God.

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A vertical direction is in view.

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Today we come to commandment number five and the direction changes.

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Now God speaks regarding our relationship to other people.

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A horizontal direction is in view.

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In commandment number five we have God's protection of the family.

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In number six, God's protection of life.

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In number seven, God's protection of marriage.

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In number eight, God's protection of property.

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In number nine, God's protection of the truth.

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And number ten, God's protection of motives.

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Today we come to verse 12 of Exodus 20, the fifth of the commandments.

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It says, honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land

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which the Lord your God gives you.

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The home is the oldest of all God's institutions and it is the foundation of all the others.

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It is so essential to personal happiness, social order, and spiritual growth that Satan

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has opened up a broadside attack against the home such as perhaps has never been equaled

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before.

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In face of the contemporary deluge which undermines the family, the home, and ultimately society,

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God very simply says, honor your parents.

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What does this mean, honor your parents?

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I think that we'll find this morning that it's very relevant and needed.

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Many children are growing up without knowledge of this commandment from God or even an adherence

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to such a principle as this.

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We see it, for example, in our school classrooms.

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Talk to many of the teachers who are here today and they will tell you of the lack of

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the knowledge of and obedience to the fifth commandment.

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Speak to those who work in daycare centers.

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For some time I was meeting regularly with one of our collegiates who was working his

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way through college by working in a daycare center.

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I can recall a number of the horror stories that he shared with me of children who are

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two and three and four years of age whose language and attitude and behavior were all

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adult and not the polite side of adulthood either.

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For that matter you can talk to our own Sunday school teachers to find that this commandment

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is not being adhered to in very many homes.

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Frankly, some of our Sunday school teachers in Grace Church Roseville go home on Sundays

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frustrated because of some of the children that come from some of the homes in our church

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where they have not been taught what it means to honor father and mother and other authority

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that is over them, including the Sunday school teacher.

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What does it mean to honor your parents?

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Let me speak first to children who are yet dependent upon their parents, who are still

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at home as we say it.

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This is the usual application of this commandment.

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It is important for children to learn to respect and obey their parents in the first place

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for the good of society.

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The attitude that children have toward their parents is the attitude that eventually will

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be reflected in them toward authority in society as a whole.

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There is a sense in which the home is a microcosm of society.

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So that as a child learns to honor and obey his parents in the home, he will grow up to

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be a citizen that will reflect those same attitudes toward authority.

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The opposite is also true.

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Without a basic respect for authority, a society is left only to anarchy.

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There is no free society.

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There is no democracy which can exist where there is not voluntary obedience of its citizens

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to law and order.

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That is why it is so important for the good of society for children to learn to obey their

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parents because eventually those children are citizens in a society as adults.

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If they do not voluntarily obey and honor their leaders in society, that society is

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destroyed.

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The only alternative is a controlled society, a totalitarianism where the laws and the rules

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are enforced upon the citizenry because they will not voluntarily honor their leaders.

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It is important for children to learn to obey and honor their parents for the good of the

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children themselves as well.

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Obedience to this command provides a sense of accountability for actions and as well

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gratitude for the blessings of the home.

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Woe to the child who grows up without gratitude and accountability.

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The very future of the child himself depends upon it.

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A rebellious spirit that is left unchecked will lead a child to ruin and destruction.

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It is for the good of the child that he learns to obey and honor his parents.

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It provides a certain freedom from responsibility and care until maturity comes and character

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is formed.

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Obedience to this commandment provides certain boundaries or parameters which at the same

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time limit the child and provide security for the child.

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It is important for the child himself to learn to obey and honor mom and dad.

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The child that does not learn to do that is a child that is destined for a life of sorrow.

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It is important for the child to learn to obey and honor parents for the glory of God.

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You see it is God who commands this.

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It is the Creator himself who speaks and says, honor your father and your mother.

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So obedience to it glorifies God.

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There is another reason that it is important to learn to obey parents for the glory of

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God and that is because so often a child's attitude toward the parents determines his

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attitude later toward God.

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You see parents are in the place of God in those early years for the child.

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For a child to have a proper perspective of God later in life in his early years he must

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be taught to honor his father and his mother.

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G. Campbell Morgan said, what God is to the adult, parents are to the child, lawgiver

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and lover, provider and controller.

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This commandment is restated in the New Testament.

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Among the times that it is restated is Ephesians 6.1 where it says, children obey your parents

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in the Lord for this is right.

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You notice what it says there?

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This is right.

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It is right because God says it is right.

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It is the obligation of the child to obey the parents.

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That is his obligation to Jesus Christ.

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Children obey your parents in the Lord.

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In other words, as unto the Lord himself you are to obey your parents.

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It is our Savior who set the example for all children in this regard.

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In Luke 2.51 it says, Jesus continued in subjection to them, Mary and Joseph.

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Jesus himself was in subjection to his parents.

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The writer of Hebrews reflects on it and says that he learned obedience by the things that

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he suffered.

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That does not mean that Jesus was disobedient and had at times to be spanked or to suffer

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for his disobedience.

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He was the perfect and sinless Son of God.

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But as a son he had to learn obedience.

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What that means is that he did not need to learn how to obey because that was natural

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with him.

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But he had to learn what obedience involved and that included the suffering aspects of

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it.

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He had to learn what it meant to obey so that he could then act as a faithful and sympathetic

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high priest on our behalf.

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Jesus himself has set the example, boys and girls, teenagers, for your command to obey

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your father and mother.

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Now I want you to notice that it does not say honor your parents when you agree with

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them.

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Do you notice that?

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Because there are going to be times that you will not agree with your parents.

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You see they have not yet arrived at that pinnacle of wisdom where you are.

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They'll grow up someday.

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I remember what one little girl said.

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She said, it's no wonder we have such a hard time with our parents.

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We get them so late in life.

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It does not say here honor your parents when you agree with them.

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Recognize that there are times you will not understand why your parents set the rules

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they do, why they say what they do, but God says nonetheless honor them and obey them.

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Notice also that it does not say honor your parents if you get what you want.

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Now there may be times you will get what you want.

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There will be other times when you will not get what you want or you will get what you

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don't want.

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The point is that irrespective of what it has to do with what you want or wish, God

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says honor your mother and your father.

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Do what they tell you to do.

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Now for a sober person there is a question that comes to mind at this point because what

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I have said is very broad and general.

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But in a society like we seem to be living in today we have to ask this question.

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Is a child to obey a command from his parent which is wrong or immoral?

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The answer to that is absolutely not.

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A child is not obligated by this command from the Lord to obey his parents if the command

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from the parent involves a violation of his personal purity, a law of God, or the rights

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of another person.

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If a parent tells the child to do something that is wrong, the child is not obligated

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before God to obey his parents in that instance.

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You would say that should never happen among Christian people and that is true.

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It should never happen among any people.

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But it does happen.

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And that is why I say this.

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A child needs to be careful how he or she would say no.

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It must be done with the right attitude and frankly there has to be on the child's part

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an understanding before God that he will have to perhaps suffer consequences for saying

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no in those times.

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The boys and girls, teenagers, if someone who has authority over you asks you to do

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something wrong or which is a violation of your personal purity, you do not have to obey

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that person before God.

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That person is wrong who is commanding it of you.

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But the general principle nonetheless is children obey your parents in the Lord.

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That's the right thing to do before God.

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That is the will of God for your life.

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Let me say a word now of application to children who are independent of their parents.

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Those who have in some measure shall we say grown up into adulthood.

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Those who have gone beyond the home, perhaps to establish their own home.

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There is an application here to you and me.

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It does not say honor your mother and your father when you are a child.

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It says honor your father and your mother.

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That includes the adults who are here this morning as well.

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Because you see if God extends the life of our parents, there comes a time when the parent

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becomes the child and the child becomes the parent.

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I think you understand what I mean.

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In those situations where the parent is no longer able to care for himself, the child

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is not to forsake his parents, but to honor.

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And yet so often this is done, isn't it?

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So often parents are shunted off to a home where they are left to waste away the rest

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of their days on the earth and ignored by the children that they have raised.

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I have seen it with my own eyes.

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I have wept over it.

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Let that not be done among those who understand God's word.

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God says honor your mother and father.

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That is to be done financially if they need it, physically, emotionally support them.

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But once again there is a word of balance that must be said.

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God expects us to care for our parents as they grow older, but on the other hand parents

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are not to take advantage of their children and attempt to manipulate them for selfish

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purposes.

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That kind of manipulation does not call for an obedient or honoring response from the

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children.

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Sometimes that does happen.

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There have been homes and marriages wrecked because of parents making demands that are

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unreasonable upon married children.

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There is not an expectation on the part of the Lord for a child in that situation to

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break up his own home, to cause division between the husband and wife because of a parent's

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attempt at manipulation.

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And yet we are expected to care for our parents.

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We have government programs to help us do that and we pay taxes to pay for those things.

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And it's okay to use them.

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It's okay to use them.

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But you know parents who grow old need some things more than money.

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If you were to take a survey of the elderly people in our community, you would find that

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money is low on the list of their needs.

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There may be some exceptions where money would be very high, but for the most part that is

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not the main priorities, one of the main priorities.

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In addition to money to support themselves, parents need some other things in their elderly

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years because you see old age can be dehumanizing.

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One can be stripped of his dignity or her dignity in old age.

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Are the very issues of life as one declines in health and in strength.

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Mom and dad also need to have their worth as human beings affirmed once in a while.

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They need to be shown that they are still dignified as a man or a woman.

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They need to be shown loving consideration, affection, and gratitude for past years of

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sacrifice and hard work even though maybe now they can do none of those things.

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They need to know that they are still loved, children.

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I would ask you to remember that Jesus as a 33 year old man cared for his mother as

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he died upon the cross, committing her to the care of John.

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Once again we find in him an example of honoring our mothers and our fathers.

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I believe the word of God teaches that if we fail to care for our parents in their needs

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as they grow older that we are worse than unbelievers.

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If one fails to honor his parents in a situation like that it's likely that he will reap what

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he sows because his own children will grow up to treat him exactly the same way and he

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will deserve it.

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I can say to you that if you treat your parents with disrespect in their old age there will

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come a day when you will grieve and you will wish you could turn the clock back a day or

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a week or a month and say the things that you should have said.

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I guarantee you that.

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I recall being called from my home late one night, a number of years ago, to come to a

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hospital where a woman was dying.

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I had visited her earlier in the week and knew that she had cancer and would likely

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not live very long.

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I had ministered to that family in some ways although they were not a part of our church

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and some of them were only professing Christians but there was no fruit whatsoever from their

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lives.

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As I got to the hospital they were all gathered around her bed and she was unconscious.

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These are children who are in their 20s and 30s and you have never heard such remorse,

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such grieving, such sorrow, such words of bitterness and anguish as came from those

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children who realized that their mother was dying and they had never said in all their

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years words of kindness and appreciation and love to her.

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You stand beside one bed like that my friend and it will teach you a lesson about life

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you will never forget.

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God was gracious in that particular case.

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That woman aroused from her coma quite unexpectedly and they had perhaps 10 minutes with her somewhat

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in a rational state of mind when at least a few of them could say things that they needed

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to say and then she died.

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What a terrible way to watch a loved one die.

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I implore you children who are grown up honor your father and your mother because the day

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comes altogether too quickly when you don't have them to honor anymore.

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I think there are a couple of other implications in this commandment that are worth noting.

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The first is that parents should be honorable to be honored.

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Parents should be honorable and worthy of the respect that this verse commands from

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their children.

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I believe that's what God wants.

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Campbell Morgan has a probing comment here.

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He says, if obedience is to be rendered gladly and implicitly, it must be to a control that

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is conditioned in love.

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No father or mother can think right thoughts or plan pure programs for their children unless

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they in their turn are living the life of subjection to God and are receiving from Him

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the ordering of all their ways.

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The surest way to ensure that children shall honor parents is for the parents to live the

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life before them which reflects the glory and grace of God.

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Parents should be honorable to be honored.

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You see in God's plan parents are not just the providers of roof and food for children.

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It is God's plan for parents to be the very revelation of His likeness to children.

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You see in the early years of childhood a child's concept of God is formed and it is

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formed not from his reading the Bible he doesn't even know how to read.

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His earliest concepts of God come from watching mom and dad.

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What a responsibility that is.

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And may I say what a privilege it is.

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What a joy it is to be able to live the life of God before your children and to develop

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within them the right concept of what God is and who He is.

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Yet if parents fail to honor their children by properly nurturing them in the things of

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God and enriching them in matters of life long and eternal importance and fail in taking

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time to instruct them in word and action as to what life is all about and what place God

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deserves in it.

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I say if parents fail to honor their children in these ways they should not be surprised

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if their children refuse to obey this command.

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John Locke said parents wonder why the streams are bitter when they themselves have poisoned

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the fountain.

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That is a sharp comment but it is right on target.

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Parents should be honorable to be honored.

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Now children understand that even if your parents are not honorable God says in His

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word to honor them.

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But to parents who are here I challenge all of us to be honorable parents.

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Are you an honorable father?

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Mom, what do your children understand about God from your life?

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Is your parenting a reflection of the love and the mercy of Jesus Christ?

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I believe we also see an implication in the first part of this command where it says honor

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your father and your mother.

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What that reminds us is this that it is important for a home for there to be a mother and father.

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Now there are exceptions to that.

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I grew up in such a home.

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My father died when I was eight and there was not a father in our home until my mother

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remarried when I was fifteen.

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Why God sometimes chooses homes to be that way and causes it to be so only He understands.

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But I am speaking to the norm now, to the majority.

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It is the normal thing for there to be a mother and father in a home.

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We are living in a day when moms and dads too quickly forget that.

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I believe it is the will of God for a mother and father to keep their home together.

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This last week I along with some of you undoubtedly saw a news report of a young boy that had

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been found somewhere in Alabama.

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Do you remember reading about that or seeing it?

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His mother was from Covington, Kentucky where I lived for ten years in my first ministry.

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Her ex-husband had taken the child away from the home and after two long years of search

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he was finally discovered.

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But I want to tell you I wept.

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I literally cried because with a camera on that little boy they were trying to get him

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to decide, do you want to be with mom or with dad?

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No child should have to make that decision.

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That is not the will of God.

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God's commandment is not honor your father or your mother.

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The word of God says honor your father and your mother.

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Father the best thing you can do for your children is to love your wife.

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Mother the best thing you can do for your children is to love their father and keep

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that home together.

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One says I don't love my husband like I used to.

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Then you learn to love him again.

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It is a matter of your will.

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You say I no longer love my wife.

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Then you find out what has robbed that love of your wife.

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You get it out of your life and you learn to love your wife again.

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Away with these silly ideas regarding divorce for any cause.

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No child should have to be put into a position of wanting or having to be with mother or

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father.

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That is not the will of God.

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I recognize that there are times when that cannot be helped.

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I recognize that.

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My friend, don't you be the guilty person in causing that to happen.

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There is a promise in connection with this commandment.

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A promise in the sense of a beneficial result.

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It is the only one of the Ten Commandments which has a statement like this.

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It says honor your father and your mother that your days may be prolonged in the land

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which the Lord your God gives you.

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This does not necessarily mean that every child that obeys this command is going to

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live a long life.

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That is not what it is saying.

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There are good and obedient children who die young.

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How well I remember Bobby, raised in the inner city, the first of his whole family to trust

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the Lord.

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His greatest desire was to grow up and have enough money to buy a farm and to move his

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mother out of the inner city.

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Bobby died at the age of eleven of cancer.

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This command is not promising that every child that obeys his parents is going to live a

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long time.

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Really what it is saying here is to the nation of Israel.

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It is saying to them as a people that as the children are brought up to obey this command,

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their culture, their society will be strong.

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There will be moral fiber to it.

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As a result of that, they as a people will dwell in that land for a long time.

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That is what this verse is saying.

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However, I believe that there is a personal application that can be derived from this.

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Character that is shaped in a warm atmosphere of love, honor, and obedience to parents gives

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a child direction in life, which tends to enrich and prolong his life.

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On the other hand, character that is formed in a vacuum of these, but rather is shaped

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with dishonor and rebellion and insubjection to parents, tends to give a child a direction

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of life toward trouble, crime, and pursuits that will shorten and waste the life.

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I believe with all of my heart that is true.

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I want you to notice that the Bible doesn't say who it is that is to honor us, but it

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does say whom we are to honor.

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From where each one of us fits into this command.

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The Word of God says for us to take the initiative and to begin honoring.

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What can you do personally to make your home more of the place that God wants it to be?

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Children, teenagers, what about you?

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Are you honoring your parents by obeying them with the right heart attitude?

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You see it's not enough just to go through the outward motions.

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God is looking at the heart.

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He wants the heart attitude to be right and agreeable.

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You may not be able to agree with them in what they're asking you to do.

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You may not think that it's for your best, for your pleasure, but with the right heart

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attitude will you determine to obey your parents as unto the Lord?

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Moms and dads, do your children find it easy to honor you?

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Are you an honorable parent?

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It may be that your home is wracked today with dissension and unhappiness.

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Children are not obeying parents.

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Mom and dad, why might that be so?

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Is it that you have failed to teach them in their younger years to do it?

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Has there been some failure on your part that has created rebellion in them?

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I have talked to enough rebellious teenagers to understand that often that rebellion is

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rooted in a failure of the parents somewhere back down the line.

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If you're facing that today in your home, do you love your child enough to go to that

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child and say, my son, my daughter, where have I failed you?

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Where have I failed you?

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What do I need to correct?

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What can I apologize for?

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I'm not trying to throw a guilt trip on you, my friend, that you shouldn't have to bear.

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That's not the purpose for this sermon.

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But my point is that God tells children to honor their father and mother.

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Are you making it impossible for them to honor you?

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By the sin, the blatant, open sewer of sin that runs through your life, will you today

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get that cleaned up and ask God to give you a pure and honorable life?

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Teenager, are you willing to let God deal with that spirit of rebellion in your heart?

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You children that are growing up and you're watching an older teenager in your family

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who's rebelling, will you determine in your heart that you will not grieve your parents

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that way and dishonor God by following the example of that older brother or sister?

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Honor your father and your mother.

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An unknown author has penned these words, if Jesus came to your house to spend a day

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or two, if he came unexpectedly, I wonder what you'd do.

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Oh, I know you'd give your nicest room to such an honored guest and all the food you'd

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serve to him would be the very best.

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And you would keep assuring him you're glad to have him there.

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But when you saw him coming, would you meet him at the door with arms outstretched in

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welcome to your heavenly visitor?

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Or would you maybe change your clothes before you let him in?

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Or hide some magazines and put the Bible where they'd been?

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Would you turn off your radio and hope he hadn't heard?

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And wish you hadn't uttered that loud, last, hasty word?

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Would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out?

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Could you let Jesus walk right in or would you rush about?

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And I wonder, if the Savior spent a day or two with you, would you go right on doing

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the things you always do?

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Would you go right on saying the things you always say?

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Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?

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Would your family conversation keep up its usual pace?

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And would you find it hard, each meal, to say a table grace?

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Would you sing the songs you always sing and read the books you read?

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And let him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?

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Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you'd planned to go?

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Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or so?

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Would you be glad to have him meet your very closest friends?

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Or would you hope that he'd stayed away until his visit ends?

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Would you be glad to have him stay forever, on and on?

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Or would you sigh with great relief when he at last had gone?

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It might be interesting to know the things that you would do if Jesus came in person

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to spend some time with you.

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Let's pray.

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May I remind us all that he has come and he is there in our homes every day.

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Mom and Dad, what is God telling you today?

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What do you need to do in your home?

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What steps do you need to take?

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What conversations do you need to plan?

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Children?

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What do you need to say to your mother or father when you get home today?

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What note do you need to write?

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What telephone call is there that should be made?

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All of this so that we can obey the command, honor your father and your mother.

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Come to the end that we may be obedient and walk in such a way as to please you and walk

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in such a way that we'll be happy.

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Bless our endeavoring to obey what your word has said to us on this Lord's day.

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In Jesus' name, Amen.