1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:26,040 I need a sea law after that. 2 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,920 What a delight to be here this weekend. 3 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,360 Jeanette and I always enjoy being back at Calvary. 4 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,760 This is where our life together started. 5 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,960 And you are family. 6 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,860 Sorry about that. 7 00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:46,200 You always will be and there's nothing you can do about it. 8 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,920 You are close to our hearts. 9 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:55,120 And to be back on this special weekend honoring the Grams and their 50th anniversary is just 10 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,280 a wonderful delight. 11 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,560 We don't have two dearer friends and I know pastors aren't supposed to have favorites, 12 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:03,560 right? 13 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,080 But we don't have two dearer friends than David and Carol Graham. 14 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:14,000 And to be here today to share with you and with them and this weekend is a real delight 15 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,520 for us. 16 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:23,280 As David said, Jeanette and I have begun service with a ministry called Barnabas International. 17 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,840 I think I mentioned that last fall when we were here. 18 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:36,040 Barnabas exists to encourage and provide pastoral care for missionaries, their families, and 19 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,800 other international servants. 20 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:49,640 We do that by going, listening, speaking, and giving. 21 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:54,000 It is one of the greatest privileges I've known in my life of ministry to be a part 22 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,600 of this organization. 23 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:02,600 And it is such a joy to us to be under the leadership of Perry Bradford and his wife 24 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:08,280 and some other couples who are the leadership team of Barnabas. 25 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,400 We're of course named after Barnabas in the book of Acts, who was introduced to us earlier 26 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,400 in the book. 27 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:20,080 But then in chapter 9, when Paul needs encouragement, Barnabas is there to help him. 28 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:24,680 Barnabas took Paul when the church in Jerusalem was rejecting him. 29 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,760 They remembered his past. 30 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:32,080 They could hardly believe this man who was such a fierce enemy of believers could be 31 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:37,440 converted now and be preaching that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. 32 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,600 And so they held him off. 33 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,240 They were in conflict about Paul. 34 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:46,720 Barnabas took the brave step of going out beside Paul, putting his arm around him, and 35 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,520 bringing him to the leaders of the church. 36 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:53,480 And they're allowing Paul to be accepted. 37 00:02:53,480 --> 00:03:03,200 And so I think we're appropriately named because what we seek to do is encourage others. 38 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:07,600 Missionaries are very much like all of us. 39 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:12,400 They are wonderfully dedicated, sacrificial servants of Jesus Christ who have answered 40 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:18,440 the call of God to go to a foreign culture, but in most ways they're just like you and 41 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,440 me. 42 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:24,200 When they get to the mission field, many of them face a certain kind of shock, culture 43 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:30,440 shock, a language shock, the shock of relocating family. 44 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:35,040 They meet people that perhaps they've not met before on their team. 45 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,200 And so they enter into a period for the first year or two in particular when there can be 46 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,480 real issues as they get introduced to the mission field. 47 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:49,640 But then later on, as they begin to work more deeply with others and experience more about 48 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:56,920 the people that they have answered the call to serve, they can be in crisis. 49 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,880 Missionaries come home for a lot of reasons. 50 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,760 Some of them come home because of financial reasons or family reasons. 51 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,200 Sometimes it's health. 52 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:11,280 But the single most common reason that missionaries, after serving on the mission field for some 53 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:22,000 period of time, the most common reason that they leave the field and come home is conflict. 54 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,120 I was shocked when I heard that. 55 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:32,360 I know that it exists everywhere, but that is the single greatest thing that we deal 56 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:37,800 with as Barnabas in helping missionaries through periods of conflict. 57 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:42,480 Sometimes it's conflict in the marriage, sometimes and more often it's conflict with the team 58 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:48,320 of missionaries that they are associated with on the mission field. 59 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:54,200 So today I thought I would talk about conflict because that's what we deal with a great deal. 60 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,440 David said to me this week, now I want to tell you that the service Sunday morning is 61 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,560 going to focus a lot on marriage. 62 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,640 I said, well, I'm talking about conflict. 63 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,760 What more do you want? 64 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,880 Now the fact is that conflicts happen. 65 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,160 They're inevitable in a fallen world like ours. 66 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:20,520 The important thing is how we manage conflict. 67 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:26,960 Conflict in our own lives, in our families, conflict with our friends. 68 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:33,200 Paul was not directly a part of the problem we're going to look at today, only indirectly. 69 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,000 And as he wrote the letter of 1 Corinthians, and I invite you to turn to 1 Corinthians 70 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:44,520 chapter 1, as he wrote the book of 1 Corinthians, a letter actually to them, Paul models a way 71 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:51,560 to manage conflict to an outcome that pleases God. 72 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:56,640 As we look in verses 10 through 18, which I'm going to read in a moment, we're going 73 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,800 to see a model here for a way to manage conflict. 74 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,640 Now if you're not in conflict this morning, just get ready, you will be by the end of 75 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,420 the week, somewhere in your life. 76 00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:14,480 Conflict is inevitable, it's universal, it happens. 77 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,720 Paul writes beginning in verse 10, I appeal to you, brethren, in the name of our Lord 78 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:26,360 Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another, so that there be no divisions among 79 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:32,200 you, and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 80 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:38,640 My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among 81 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,520 you. 82 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:45,640 What I mean is this, one of you says, I follow Paul. 83 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,720 Another says, I follow Apollos. 84 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,200 Another says, I follow Cephas, or Peter. 85 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:55,000 And still another, I follow Christ. 86 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,120 Is Christ divided? 87 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,360 Was Paul crucified for you? 88 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,200 Were you baptized into the name of Paul? 89 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:07,780 I'm thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Cephas and Gaius. 90 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:11,040 So no one can say that you were baptized into my name. 91 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,240 Oh yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanus. 92 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:19,480 Beyond that, I don't remember if I baptized anyone. 93 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:25,880 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with words of human 94 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:30,400 wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power. 95 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,400 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who 96 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:39,120 are being saved, it is the power of God. 97 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,560 Let's pray together. 98 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:46,500 Father, would you by the Holy Spirit come and be our teacher now, and lay upon our hearts 99 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:52,800 the truth from this text that will help us in managing our own conflicts and the conflicts 100 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,360 of our friends and those around us to the glory of God. 101 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:00,200 And I pray this in Jesus' name, amen. 102 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:08,840 As you look at this text, it talks about conflict, and it lays before us several principles that 103 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,880 can assist us in conflict resolution. 104 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:23,880 The first principle that I see here is this, if you're in conflict, employ helpful language. 105 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:35,120 You know you can carry to a conflict a bucket of water or a can of gasoline by the words 106 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,580 that you use in addressing the conflict. 107 00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:49,040 Your words can inflame a problem, or they can quench the fire of the quarrel. 108 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,120 Paul was an apostle. 109 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,300 He was the founding pastor, missionary pastor of this church. 110 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,280 And Paul might have written to them and demanded that they stop it. 111 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,960 He could have just said, stop it, stop it, stop it. 112 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,800 But he didn't do that. 113 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:13,240 Paul uses words that reflect a gentleness in his appeal to them. 114 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:21,120 He uses that very word, I appeal to you, a word that implies I'm coming alongside you. 115 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:25,560 I want to put my arm around you and have a personal talk. 116 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,520 I want you to feel my heart. 117 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:33,100 I want you to know my genuine concern. 118 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:40,940 You notice he calls them brethren, which means that they are of the same family. 119 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:47,640 They share the same parentage, the same bloodline, as we sang this morning about the blood of 120 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,640 Jesus. 121 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:54,440 All of them were a part of the family of God through their faith in Jesus Christ and his 122 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,040 shed blood on the cross. 123 00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:00,040 They're brothers. 124 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:05,400 He speaks of our Lord Jesus Christ. 125 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:11,360 He wants to remind them in a subtle and gentle way, all of us belong to one another and to 126 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,440 a common Savior. 127 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:17,400 He is our Lord Jesus Christ. 128 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:25,320 Paul here is using language to introduce his address of their conflict in the church, language 129 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:34,400 that will be easy for them to hear and which will remind them of basic fundamental truths. 130 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:41,600 Helpful expressions that we can use in resolving conflict are those that first of all draw 131 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,120 upon relationship if there is one. 132 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:50,200 If you're in conflict with your family, with a brother or sister for example, say, well, 133 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:55,920 you know, you and I are flesh and blood. 134 00:10:55,920 --> 00:11:02,360 Or in the family of God you can say, you know, we're followers, both of us, of Jesus Christ. 135 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,920 Therefore we need to resolve this. 136 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,560 Helpful expressions draw on relationship. 137 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,160 They also show understanding. 138 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:17,600 Honey, I think I know how you feel. 139 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,600 You show understanding. 140 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:27,480 Helpful expressions prove that you've listened first before you've spoken. 141 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:34,080 You can say something like, I think I know what I'm hearing. 142 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:38,160 And repeat back to them what you think you've heard to show that you've listened to their 143 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,200 heart concern. 144 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Helpful expressions reveal empathy. 145 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,120 I'm so sorry this is happening. 146 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,120 How can I help? 147 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,520 What would you like me to do? 148 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:57,040 I think I know how you feel about this. 149 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:03,680 Helpful expressions also express a willingness to forgive and to move on. 150 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:08,480 So when you're going to address conflict, find words that are helpful words. 151 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,960 Employ helpful language. 152 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:19,680 Unhelpful expressions include those that are words of rejection or shame. 153 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,960 Blaming the other person. 154 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,840 Being angry. 155 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,280 Showing resentment or manipulation. 156 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:30,080 If you want to know more about that kind of thing, I want to recommend a book. 157 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:35,440 It's called The Peacemaker, a biblical guide to resolving conflict. 158 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,440 Good book. 159 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,440 He'll help you. 160 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,400 Ken Sandy is the author of it. 161 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,760 Paul himself wrote to the Ephesians and he said to them, you know, we need to speak the 162 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,120 truth in love. 163 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,680 And that's what we're talking about here. 164 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:54,200 Pascal said, cold words freeze people. 165 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,900 Hot words scorch them. 166 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,320 And bitter words make them bitter. 167 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,200 And wrathful words make them wrathful. 168 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:08,280 Kind words also produce their own image on men's souls. 169 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:16,840 And the beautiful image it is, they soothe and quiet and comfort the hearer. 170 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:21,680 When resolving conflict, don't count your words. 171 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,200 Weigh them. 172 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,960 Weigh them. 173 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560 That's the first principle. 174 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:34,720 Second principle we see in what Paul says, when you're facing conflict, envision a preferable 175 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,440 future, a better future. 176 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:44,480 The conflict need not be the final answer in that relationship. 177 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,600 Point to the next one. 178 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,760 And the better future is always one of unity. 179 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:54,720 You see, unity is the crown of glory on a missionary team. 180 00:13:54,720 --> 00:14:01,160 And when that unity is fractured, there are all kinds of issues and fallout that affect 181 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,920 the work of Christ. 182 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:08,600 Barnabas has a team of people right now in a country in Africa. 183 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:13,480 And we're praying for them over these days, just about a week period of time, as they 184 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:22,080 work with a team of missionaries that have been in conflict for years, seeking to bring 185 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,560 a preferable future. 186 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:29,320 When there's oneness, you see, there's peace and joy, but there's also power, spiritual 187 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,320 power. 188 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,220 But when there is disunity. 189 00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:40,760 When unity is missing, then there's anxiety, there is uncertainty, and there is ineffectiveness. 190 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:46,520 That's true whether it be in our lives or it be in the missionary's lives or some organization 191 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,520 or a church. 192 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,680 And so Paul paints a better future here in verse 10. 193 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:56,400 He says, here's what I want to see that you all agree with one another. 194 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,720 That there may be no divisions among you. 195 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,760 It doesn't have to be this way. 196 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:07,120 He says that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 197 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:11,680 But Paul isn't saying you have to agree on absolutely everything. 198 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:18,840 But he's saying when you disagree, agree to disagree. 199 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,920 Don't fight about it. 200 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,560 Recognize that people have differences of opinion and that's okay. 201 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:28,840 God has made us different. 202 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,080 Work is painful. 203 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,480 It's like an ache in your soul. 204 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,280 It grates against you. 205 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,080 It hurts and it endangers. 206 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:47,800 It's a powerful thing when you can paint a picture for a married couple, a missionary 207 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,200 team. 208 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:55,720 When you can paint a picture of the future that is without tension, that is without the 209 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,720 stress. 210 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:04,120 And frankly, when most people see that as a possibility, somehow it kindles hope in 211 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:09,520 their hearts and they're willing to put down the gloves. 212 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,840 They see the bigger picture. 213 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:16,160 They can finally get their eyes off the trees of the conflict and get a glimpse of the forest 214 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,040 again. 215 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,120 Envision a preferable future. 216 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,080 It's important to do that when you're working with people who are fighting with one another. 217 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,080 It doesn't have to be this way. 218 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,680 Third principle. 219 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,680 State the case. 220 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:41,240 What are the contributing factors to this squabble? 221 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,280 Conflicts have some sort of a definition. 222 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,400 There's always a history. 223 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,400 There's always a history. 224 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:56,480 I had a pastor friend in Minnesota who took a small rural church. 225 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:02,720 And immediately after getting there, he noticed that there were two factions in this church. 226 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,080 And it basically centered around two families. 227 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,280 That's one of the difficulties with a smaller church. 228 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:12,520 You can come into family hierarchies, really. 229 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,960 And so he had these two camps going at one another and he couldn't understand why. 230 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,720 So he began to ask questions. 231 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,720 What's this all about? 232 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:23,240 You know what it came down to? 233 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:36,360 Decades ago, in the choir, a lady from one of the families wore a hat. 234 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:46,640 And a man sitting behind her from the other family couldn't see around the hat. 235 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:51,520 And that started a squabble between those two families that was still going on in the 236 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:57,480 1980s, decades later. 237 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,480 You say, well, that's silly. 238 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,880 Well, it is a bit silly. 239 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,720 Sometimes our own squabbles are equally silly, aren't they? 240 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,960 How did Paul know there was a problem? 241 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,560 Well, he had some people who told him. 242 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,800 This wasn't gossip. 243 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:14,880 They went to the person who could do something about it. 244 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,120 So Paul elaborates on what he understands the conflict to be. 245 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,880 He states the case. 246 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,080 And the issue basically is this. 247 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,160 They're conflicted over their leaders. 248 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:31,200 If you were to visit the first church of Corinth back in those days, you might walk in the 249 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,600 front door and there'd be an usher there and he'd take you over to the side and say, which 250 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,600 side of the church do you want to sit on? 251 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,400 He said, I'd like you to sit over here on my side. 252 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,840 I'm in the Paul group. 253 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,840 We're right over here. 254 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:49,000 You know, Paul founded this church. 255 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,440 He's the one that led a lot of us to Christ. 256 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,000 And Paul is so profound. 257 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,200 I mean, after all, he's been to heaven and back. 258 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,960 He can't talk about it, but he's been there. 259 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:05,200 And when you hear him, he's a heavenly preacher and he knows the truth. 260 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,240 He is really profound. 261 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,280 He's a teacher. 262 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:14,280 So you walk away and he had that way and somebody interrupts you and you're walking, say, hey, 263 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,280 where are you? 264 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,280 You're new here. 265 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,280 Yeah, well, come over and sit in our group. 266 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,960 We're over here on this side. 267 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,160 We're the Apollos group. 268 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:27,480 He said Apollos was a powerful teacher in this church. 269 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,240 He followed Paul, who founded it. 270 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,800 You should have heard Apollos preach. 271 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,800 He was profound. 272 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,520 Yes, now it's true, Paul wrote books. 273 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:42,160 But I'm telling you, Apollos was the pulpitier. 274 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,160 He was powerful. 275 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,420 He could move around the platform. 276 00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,800 He could stir your emotions. 277 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,800 He could preach loud. 278 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,720 He could talk quietly to press his points. 279 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:52,720 He was an order. 280 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,880 Come over here and sit with the Apollos group. 281 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:01,280 And so you come toward that group of pews and there's somebody else who interrupts you. 282 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,680 And he says, hey, I'm glad you're here today. 283 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,680 Welcome to our church. 284 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,680 We're glad to have your first church. 285 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,520 Would you come over here and sit in our pews? 286 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,560 We're the Peter group. 287 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,680 You remember Peter, don't you? 288 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,100 He's one of the originals. 289 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:21,400 He was there with Jesus. 290 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,040 Peter has authority. 291 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,080 Man does he have authority. 292 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,880 He heard Jesus preach. 293 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,200 And I'll tell you something else about Peter. 294 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:34,320 When he came here and preached, he wore sandals and Bermudas. 295 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,120 You see, he is authentic. 296 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,800 He's real. 297 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:45,040 He'll tell you about the time he betrayed Jesus and how Jesus restored him. 298 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,840 He'll share the deepest part of his heart. 299 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,360 You want to be a part of our group. 300 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,480 You start to sit down in the pew and somebody approaches you from the front. 301 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,480 They say, hey, wait a minute. 302 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,880 You need to come be a part of our group. 303 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:04,400 Sit up here because we're the Jesus people. 304 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,280 We love Jesus in this church. 305 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:13,680 And those who are in the Christ group are disavowing any human leader. 306 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,140 Now, we respect them. 307 00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,140 You understand that. 308 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:18,880 We appreciate Paul. 309 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,680 And Paul is a great preacher. 310 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,960 Oh, yes, yes. 311 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,640 And Peter, yes, he was with Jesus. 312 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,560 But you need to be with our group because we're with him. 313 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,200 We're with the real guy. 314 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:33,240 We're with Jesus. 315 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:40,760 And I want you to notice that Paul does not commend them because they had the wrong attitude. 316 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:48,080 The apostle Paul doesn't commend any of these folks because they're fighting over the very 317 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,840 gifts that God had given them. 318 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,280 And it's a silly thing. 319 00:21:54,280 --> 00:22:00,720 John MacArthur says, fractured fellowship robs Christians of joy and effectiveness, 320 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:08,040 robs God of glory, and robs the world of the true testimony of the gospel, a high price 321 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,280 or an ego trip. 322 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,880 And that's what's happening here. 323 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:16,760 Now, before we condemn them too much, we have to recognize that contemporary church of Jesus 324 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:25,040 Christ is just as prone to celebrityism as was the first church of Corinth. 325 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:30,960 We have our favorite preachers, some of them who wrote books, some of them who've been 326 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:35,460 on the radio, some of them who stirred our hearts when we came to Christ. 327 00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:43,080 We have these favorite preachers, and we begin to judge others who are not a part of our 328 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,280 group. 329 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,640 It's okay to have your favorites. 330 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,760 We all do. 331 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:54,720 But the point is, don't judge others because they don't come up to your standards. 332 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,320 They're not as good as your guy. 333 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:05,720 And if it's not a battle over personalities, and it's a battle over worship styles, it's 334 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:12,880 a battle over ministry philosophies or Bible translations or Sunday school curriculum, 335 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:21,880 a whole host of secondary theological issues, what to use in communion, how do you partake 336 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,400 of communion, how do you baptize? 337 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,520 Is it forwards or backwards or three times forwards or three times backwards or once 338 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,000 or in the name of the Lord or in the name of the Trinity? 339 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,840 How do you baptize? 340 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:41,600 Now, I could go on because I've experienced a lot of these in churches. 341 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:47,440 Conflict, and so when you're dealing with conflict, what you have to do is get to the 342 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,440 heart of the matter. 343 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,640 What is causing the conflict? 344 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,760 And be able to state that. 345 00:23:53,760 --> 00:24:01,120 You can't resolve what you don't understand. 346 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:04,240 Fourth principle. 347 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:13,480 Once you understand the issue, number four, insert a clarifying perspective. 348 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:23,840 What I mean by that is find a biblical truth that will shed light on the case of the conflict. 349 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,720 Because whenever there is a conflict, something's missing. 350 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,080 Something's been forgotten or overlooked or not known. 351 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,280 So find out what that is. 352 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,400 That's what Paul does. 353 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:42,040 After stating the case and what the problem is, he says, is Christ divided? 354 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,600 That's a disgusting picture, frankly. 355 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:52,680 Is Christ cut up into pieces and all of you have a piece of Christ? 356 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,100 He says, was Paul crucified for you? 357 00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:59,440 He might have said, was Peter crucified for you? 358 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:07,160 The point is that no one can be elevated to Christ's unique role as the Savior who sacrificed 359 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,880 himself. 360 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,440 He says, were you baptized in the name of Paul? 361 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,000 He wants to remind them that they're not his followers. 362 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000 They're not his church. 363 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,000 They're not Peter's church. 364 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,160 They're not Apollos' church. 365 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:27,320 They were united to Jesus Christ alone. 366 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:32,660 The obvious answer to each of these questions is no. 367 00:25:32,660 --> 00:25:41,360 So how silly to be so caught up with a human personality as to bring conflict to the church 368 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,560 of Jesus Christ. 369 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:52,200 How silly to be so caught up in whatever the conflict is that it divides the church of 370 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,320 Jesus Christ. 371 00:25:54,320 --> 00:26:05,000 The final principle that we see here, after you have inserted that new perspective, that 372 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:12,080 biblical truth that sheds light on the real issues, the final one is restore the proper 373 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,440 focus. 374 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,300 Get the focus back. 375 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:18,680 He does that in verses 17 and 18. 376 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:24,200 The focus needs to be on Jesus Christ and the gospel. 377 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:30,800 You see, the gospel is the good news that God loves us even though we were hostile and 378 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:36,800 in conflict with him because of our sin. 379 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:43,560 God still loves us even though we had declared ourselves enemies of God, that he himself 380 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:51,640 came into the world in the person of Jesus Christ. 381 00:26:51,640 --> 00:27:00,480 And he sacrificed himself on the cross and shed his precious blood so that he might reconcile 382 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,600 us to himself. 383 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,540 That he might end the conflict. 384 00:27:06,540 --> 00:27:13,120 The gospel is all about ending conflict, first between us and God and then between us and 385 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,120 others. 386 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:20,440 And we need to get that focus back. 387 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:28,080 When people in conflict get genuinely focused on the Lord instead of each other, they surrender 388 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:36,200 themselves to him and in the process they lay aside the fighting and the division and 389 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:45,200 the quarreling and they are then united in the fellowship of Jesus Christ. 390 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:51,820 Being in conflict can end a missionary's service. 391 00:27:51,820 --> 00:28:00,960 Being in conflict, if it's not resolved, can lead to the dissolution of a marriage. 392 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:09,760 Being in conflict in time will result in a split church if it's not addressed and resolved 393 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,360 and managed in a proper way. 394 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:17,120 I want to tell you something, conflict is serious stuff. 395 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:19,240 It endangers your soul. 396 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:27,320 It undermines your church or your organization or your missionary team or your marriage. 397 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,280 It threatens your effectiveness. 398 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:38,800 It dishonors your Lord, the very Christ who died to end the conflict. 399 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:47,440 We have to ask an honest question, is conflict always resolved? 400 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,280 Resolved in the very best way possible. 401 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,360 And the answer to that sadly is no, it's not. 402 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,280 I told you about Paul and Barnabas, but you know the later story about them, don't you, 403 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:04,840 in Acts chapter 15 as they were preparing to go on a second missionary journey. 404 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:13,120 Paul and Barnabas got into a fight, a disagreement regarding a young man named John Mark that 405 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:17,000 they had taken on their first missionary journey and had left early. 406 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,040 Apparently, he couldn't take it, it was too tough. 407 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:27,760 And Paul said, there's no way, I'm going to risk this missionary journey by taking John 408 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:28,920 Mark back. 409 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:36,320 And Barnabas said, well he's my blood, you know, I trust him. 410 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,920 There's been a change in John Mark, haven't you seen that Paul? 411 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,920 I want to take him. 412 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:52,920 And the two of them had such a sharp conflict, says the word of God, that they parted ways. 413 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,480 Barnabas went one way and Paul went the other way. 414 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,120 They could not resolve that conflict. 415 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:07,120 Now perhaps later it was resolved because Paul embraced John Mark later on, a few years 416 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,120 later. 417 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,360 And so perhaps he and Barnabas got back together. 418 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,000 The scripture simply doesn't tell us. 419 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,280 It doesn't really condemn either man either. 420 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,840 It simply says that they had to part. 421 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:28,000 So no, conflict is not always resolved in the very best way possible. 422 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,240 Sometimes friendships end. 423 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,200 Sometimes missionaries come home. 424 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,180 Sometimes marriages dissolve. 425 00:30:38,180 --> 00:30:40,880 And families divide and churches splinter. 426 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:46,320 But it's always sad, isn't it? 427 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,720 You're going to stay on track spiritually. 428 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:57,280 If you're going to grow spiritually, you need to keep yourself as much as humanly possible, 429 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,120 free from conflict with others. 430 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:05,640 Live at peace with all men as much as you possibly can, says the word of God. 431 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:11,320 Seek to manage conflict in your life, in your ministry, in your marriage. 432 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:16,460 Paul says, I urge you then to live a life worthy of the calling you've received. 433 00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:24,280 Be completely humble and gentle and be patient, bearing with one another. 434 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,640 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit. 435 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,920 That's what it takes. 436 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:42,920 Humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, all that the Spirit of God would build into 437 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:43,920 your life. 438 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:50,960 If you're in conflict today, he wants to use that conflict to build you as a person. 439 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:56,200 He wants to use that conflict to teach you something, to grow you through it, so he can 440 00:31:56,200 --> 00:32:00,800 use you in some significant way that you might not experience otherwise. 441 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:05,360 I urge you to get a hold of that conflict and manage it according to the principles 442 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,920 of God's word. 443 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:13,000 And if today you are still at war with God. 444 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:18,120 I had somebody say to me one time, God and me aren't on speaking terms. 445 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:22,840 I wonder who's in trouble when that happens. 446 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:30,880 If you're in conflict with God over something, do you understand how much God loves you? 447 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,840 And how much he has done to embrace you? 448 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:43,000 If only you'll just humble yourself and come to him and say, Lord, I need you. 449 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,320 Let's pray together. 450 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:52,080 Father, we all have experienced and many of us are experiencing conflict this morning. 451 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:59,720 What we need, we desperately need, is to resolve that conflict, most critically if it's with 452 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:05,920 you, but then also, importantly, if it's with others. 453 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:11,520 And so I pray that you will give us understanding of the next step we ought to take. 454 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,800 And God, that can be fearful for us sometimes. 455 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,200 We don't exactly perhaps know what to do, but I pray that you will show us what the 456 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:24,600 next step needs to be as we look into your word and learn from its principles. 457 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:31,440 So that we can see conflict in our lives managed to the glory of God in the best possible outcome 458 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,800 and have a conscience that is free from guilt. 459 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:42,360 We might live before you as holy people and in the power of the Holy Spirit. 460 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:50,180 And this I pray in the name of him who died to end all conflict and who lives in us to 461 00:33:50,180 --> 00:33:51,180 apply that. 462 00:33:51,180 --> 00:34:05,720 In Jesus' name, amen.