This is a Wait Don't Do It podcast with your
girl Nunu Paris and Rafi. Make sure to join us
monthly at El Rey for Reggaeton Brunch. You can
follow at Reggaeton Brunch DC for more details.
We'll see you there, baby sotas. Mwah. Hi, beautiful.
Oh, my gosh, we're back. It's video. It's here.
Can you believe it that finally the season is
back with video, no less? I mean, you are breathtaking.
I just, that's why I had to, like, encourage
us to do at least one video audio experience
for our listeners, because everyone needs to
experience the beauty that is behind the camera
with New New Paris. It's just amazing. Likewise,
with all this. Radiant energy from our hostess
with the most says Raffi. It's still my favorite
host reggaeton brunch all also the beautiful
also the beautiful Beautiful. Yeah, do you get
caught handsome by all the guys you go on dates
with I would say I definitely get told that they
like aspects of my face handsome I feel like
I feel like I've never called someone handsome.
I've always called someone cute. Like, so you're
on apps and y 'all like, how y 'all flirting?
Like, you're like, hey handsome. Yeah, I got
hey handsome a lot, which makes me feel like
I'm getting older. Because on Grindr, it's been
hey handsome. As someone who used to be the hey
handsome military gun shooter, I will say it
throws me off a little bit because I'm like,
oh, wow, I'm definitely leaning in more to daddy
territory. Um, so yeah, those kind of like in
person no one's ever been like, oh my god, you're
so handsome I feel like it's more like cutie
patootie or like cutie or stuff like that And
y 'all know out there like it's it's me. So y
'all know i'm trans. Um, so like It would take
me out and i'm not gonna lie like I feel like
there hasn't been a single point in my life where
I feel like handsome You've never been called
handsome, really? Even when you were trained,
like, beard? It has always felt cringey to me.
Like, I don't know why. It just has felt cringey
as a boy. No, but you would definitely be called
handsome if you were fully cis. Like, if you
leaned, like... Okay, well, you're not gonna
do drag for the next month, you said. So when
you get your beard back, you would fall in the
category of handsome. I want you to understand.
First of all, you could be handsome and cut.
but like handsome because like let's talk about
it if you're a masculine presenting person but
you are very like I guess like feeling that femininity
inside you want to be referred to as beautiful
are you beautiful I mean you technically can
be beautiful beautiful there's a to me there's
a way to me is beautiful sounds very like Feminine,
but I've called boys beautiful, too. Boys are
beautiful, but only at their bottom. Just kidding.
Just kidding. If y 'all could not tell, we're
talking about boys, but really like dating, right?
We're telling y 'all what not to do when it comes
to dating, the talking stage, all of that in
the city. We have some amazing guests from this
cool social app called InPress, which is really
changing the scene of DC dating. And this was
like important to us because we're outside, you
know what I'm saying? Like, and we see how...
Not only just for straight people. I'm not gonna
talk about the straight people right now. I'm
talking about just for the queer dating diva.
It's crazy, right, Rafi? I mean, NuNu's been
locked in for almost a decade now. So I have
experienced the rawness of EC dating. It's trenches
for sure. You know, comparatively, I think DC
is worse, worse than my college experience with
dating in a lot of ways. I feel like in North
Carolina, people were willing to get married
and that's like the goal. Here, the career is
the goal. So I feel like it's twice. Right, right.
Yeah, dating sucks, but I am a user on Impress
and there's just a lot of aspects of it that
I do appreciate. They kind of like take off the
pressure of... Starting that first conversation
because I am not good at flirting. I'm good at
flirting in the moment I am not good at flirting
If I'm caught off guard or about to initiate
it I have to really like feel chemistry with
you to flirt and I've never I've never felt flirtiness
Through a text like I struggle with that so hard
But I love a texture that knows how to text very
funny very witty very very flirty. I love that
but I'm usually like the person that's just like,
you know, okay, what are we doing? Where are
we going? Great. Can't wait to see you. I love
flirty texting. You know, I, trust me, you love
flirty arguing. You like flirty meetings. You
like flirty interviews. Oh, no, no, yeah. Nudu
is a flirt. Nudu is a flirt. Nudu is a flirt.
She loves a man. If there's something that's
Nudu gonna do, it's flirt. Because it's so fun.
I think flirty is harmless, but I think it's
definitely fly and just, you know, you know,
just... pressing those buttons, saying those
more cheeky words with people. I think it's just
something interesting to do. I've seen Nunu flirt
as a boy and a girl, and both experiences are
highly entertaining, I highly suggest you do.
Because she is on a mission. She is on a... And
like I said, I'm single, and I've never been
on a mission before. And this bitch... Well,
now you know why you're single. Y 'all, because
I want y 'all to know... Because... Y 'all have
to want it. I think dating at the end of days
about wanting it and you really do I really agree
with that It's just like such a struggle sometimes
because y 'all don't want it like you have to
like Want to know and get the person and I'm
talking to a person or play with a person I'm
like, I want to see if I can get them to like
a level that you know, oh, are you fucking no
more you flirting with them? Underbelly like
they're that raw I just want to see, like, what
they're made out of. I want to see that real
raw human. Because the truth is... Stay wise,
bitch. It's for sport, for me. I'm not gonna
lie. Because I don't give a fuck about these
people. Because usually those people, when you
get to that other side, they're broken, they're
terrible. They have all these things that are
with them. But I just want to get there and say
I did it. Like, I could get you. I am a demisexual
though. I love like wine and dine me before.
Okay, cuz Demi Lovato was that bitch. Camp Rock!
I still wear my Converse. No, I love a good conversation
before. I hated just like coming over and like
going straight to it unless there's been an established
relationship before that. But I've never been
the person to invite someone over and not just
wanna like sit down and gauge the situation first.
And I will say it saved me from a lot of bad
experiences. Like I explained, like in this interview,
I talked about that guy that told me, oh, I'm
not into music. Girl, how are you not into music?
That is such a red flag to me because A, you
have no rhythm. B, it was such an insight to
see that person didn't like music. They were
like a math major. So they were like. We just,
there was nothing that was like common ground
for us to like have fun to. So there's nothing
common ground in our sexual chemistry, you know?
So I definitely think like, starting the conversation
off first is very important. So does that mean
you're a demisexual? I know that something that's
really attractive to me is like definitely money.
They give you trick in. She's a sugar sexual
bitch. Because if you spin it then like, you
know. Obviously, you're interested, right? Nunu.
Where are my girls at? Where are my girls at?
That's what I wanted to know. I think that several
people out there would relate. And like I said,
I think there is an energy source of someone
that wants to be... You like to be a good girl
when it comes to that stuff. Like, Rafi loves,
I want y 'all to know, Rafi loves a regular ass
person. Like, all that blue collar, white collar,
whatever that, you know, whoever you are, background,
Rafi loves that, y 'all. Like, Rafi does not
discriminate. I love that. I love that heart.
I love that, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm
not that girl. You didn't say anything positive
in that past statement. No, it was positive.
Like, you like regular people. You like every...
That's crazy. I'm not saying you don't have standards.
I'm just saying, like, if a dude was a waiter,
you'd be okay. If a dude was a waiter, you'd
be okay. If a dude was a celebrity, you'd be
okay. You'd be okay. It's not about what the
dude's doing. Oh, so you wouldn't date a waiter?
Hell no. It is not even, like, shading the waiter.
It's just, like, I have a lifestyle and a certain
thing I like to... I have to live, unfortunately.
You are here. And I could imagine... Nunu does
live in, like, the deepest delusional world I
watch out of now, right now. Because there are
waiters that live like Nunu does. He wants to
really... Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know,
if that waiter had a trust fund, absolutely.
Come on. but I just can't be waiting alone. That's
what I'm saying. No, I mean, I definitely am
open to just like a good person for sure. But
you know, if there was a truck driver right now,
Raph would be on him, honey. Oh, I love a truck
driver. Make him good money. I love a blue collar
man. Fix the house. Fix the house, please. Because
I'm not going to be able to do any of that. And
I will never, no shame. But no, it's a great
episode, y 'all. I'm really excited about this
interview. We had a great time winning for us.
Adam and Christina. Loved so many funny moments.
Stay tuned for a messy little game to find out
what's a green flag, what's a red flag, and what
is a beige flag. Are you doing some of these
red flags? Are you guilty? Nunu's definitely
guilty of some of them. And Adam's definitely
my green flag. Enjoy the episode. Impress is
a news -based dating and friendship app that
matches users based on shared intellectual interests
revealed through engagement with curated factual
journalism. It avoids superficial swiping and
generic prompts by focusing on subconscious interests.
It offers dating and friendship mode. involving
compatibility metrics and a gamified news engagement
system called InScore Levels is currently available
in DC and NYC. And today we are joined by the
CEO and co -founder of the product lead, Adam
and Christine. How are y 'all? I'm so good. Thank
you for having us. We are so happy to be here
with y 'all. I mean, I've been on Impress for
a couple of weeks now. I still have similar opinions
on DC dating, but we can definitely... Sorry,
we can change the entire diaspora of DC dating
in a few weeks. We're trying our best. No, but
I cannot wait to really get into this issue with
other people that have experienced dating in
DC, but in other cities as well. Because I think
that people... I think DC really individualizes
itself in the dating scene, but I feel like dating
sucks everywhere. But of course, we're going
to get into that today. Nunu, how are you doing?
I'm doing amazing, Raffi. I think being in a
big city, right, has its own unique challenges.
And I think that's the perfect reason why Impress
exists. So we have to get into the dating scene
starting all the way from the beginning, all
right, Adam and Christina? We're gonna go right
to the talking stage. How does Impress work with
this idea of the talking stage, like the very
beginning of just trying to date in the city?
Yeah, well, we found that, and you guys can correct
us if you've experienced this yourselves or haven't
experienced this yourselves, but we found that
on dating apps, maybe breaking the ice can be
a bit awkward, right? Because you basically swiped
right into the ether, hoping that someone found
you interesting or attractive enough to swipe
right on you. I think you just kind of wait,
right? Whereas what we're doing is we're basically
identifying your weirdest and most wonderful
subconscious interests. I'm finding out how you're
compatible with others to show you that information
up front hopefully giving people enough to do
you see unfakable interest where they can break
the ice more easily so showing them that they
both like the same band or the same food or who
knows the same you know. weird piece of art.
The more you use it, the weirder it gets. And
I like to tell people, if it's weirder, it's
better, right? Because who wants the boring insights?
We want to know the juicy stuff. Yeah, yeah,
exactly. Love that you said that, not faking
the idea. Because that's kind of what the talking
stage is about, right? Like, thinking about how
can I present myself in the best possible package.
I love pretending to be a human being. I'm a
Gemini, so I just, like, patter myself after
whoever I'm around. Oh, you too, see? We could
actually just take our call elsewhere. This is
a call divided I can tell this could be a messy
conversation already I think the question is,
has dating always been this bad? Because people
always blame dating apps. Do you guys think that
dating has always been this challenging, or has
technology really changed the game for us? Yeah,
that's really interesting, because I think dating
apps really came about in the 2013, 2014 era.
And this was, frankly, when I was coming into
college, and so I didn't have a ton of dating
app experiences, so I can't talk about before
that. But I do think throughout the years of
like Hinge and Tinder and Bumble like all these
different apps that are coming out people are
just getting more and more shallow as time goes
on and the options like the variety of options
like people are just not settling down there's
a million dates like I know people like stack
updates like back -to -back, you know or like
multiple times a week. So I think it's just a
lot to handle. And unfortunately, we're not having
this human connection as much anymore, especially
after the pandemic, too. Let's add another layer
to that, you know? Yeah. I get the multiple dates.
You gotta get those free meals. I was like, this
is how I ate for free for a whole month. And
it was like, date, date, date. I was like, that's
crazy. Literally. I actually love it with your
hair down here, because it's... I personally
am in a relationship, right? I've been in a long
-term relationship. I'm going on nine years.
And I met my partner on Tinder. So I spent two
years prior on dating apps, trying all these
things. And so now, you know, in the recent times,
I have coworkers, right? I'm looking at their
hinge and their Tinder. And you're right, Christina.
The whole landscape has changed. And I'm like,
how do you get past the talking stage? Because
all these apps are just like, this is what I
would do for a fun date or... Was the last time
you've done this random thing and anybody but
your impressed app is trying to take that that
little middleman away Yeah, yeah contacts. Yeah,
go ahead. That's exactly right. I mean literally
took words out of my that's all it was we are
trying to build How do I say this we project
on social media right project on dating apps?
Everyone wants to make it look how hot they are
and how clever they can be in a one -liner Bible
What does that really say about you, right? Like
you can say anything whereas what we're trying
to do is make it not just kind of trying to make
it so that you can't really fake it, but you
have a good time providing the data, in this
case with news, for us to kind of build that
profile about you that is unfakable. You're not
just going to hand over this information if you're
not seeing any immediate reward. You got to actually
kind of make the journey fun, and in our case,
educational. And that's why we're doing this
with all factual information. But people be lying.
That's what this is about. No, that's what I
really do appreciate about Impressed is that
you kind of really are connected with because
I start I forgot what tier I made it But I didn't
make it to like the fourth tier. What's that?
What's that call? I know I was really I was really
swiping honey. I was like working. What's the
tier? You gotta explain slow down for us Ruffy
beans. Oh, yeah. No, that's your ruffy catch
it No, but you knew brought it up in her pitch
in the beginning where the The more, well, I
wake up every day and I like look through the
articles. And as I do that, if I look at like
three to four articles a day by like, I think
like a second or fourth day, it told me I was
what, an adventurer. So I definitely span, which
I was like looking outside of my like normal
news context, like a lot of things. Like obviously
I looked through a lot of events stuff, which
is... still what I look through. But I think
I was reading about like, you know, how much
would you weigh on this planet? Kind of articles
too. And so I really like that. So I think now
I'm what? What was level three, level four? You
went from being an explorer to a thinker. Ruffy's
officially a thinker. Oh, you heard it here first.
Breaking news, honey. I can have my brain cell
back. It just gets worse and worse because after
this he graduates to an analyst, which gives
him the power. Okay, okay. So yeah, there's goals
here. But there's also the level, which I need
to start getting into that side of more, which
is the friends element. If you were on a dating
app, what's the differences? How do you approach
different conversations? Because back in my day,
when I was on the friends apps on the sides of
the other apps, I feel like people were still
trying to... I feel like it was more direct in
certain ways. And so I'm curious to see how y
'all have experienced the friend side of dating
apps. Christina, have you ever used Bubble BFF
or anything? I actually haven't, no. And I have
thought about it before, because I've moved into
a couple of new cities, and each time it's a
little bit difficult to make new friends. I know
friends who have had success with Bubble BFF,
but I also know a lot of people who haven't.
They go on one friend date, and then it just
kind of links. doesn't go into anything. Yeah,
I'm thinking about like, I know people I'm not
going to say any names, but who have no no, I
say this, you know, in DC, no, no, no less who
had, you know, friend groups that were built
all around bubble BFF and They were kind of weird
friends. I'm not going to lie. Like they weren't
good for this person. They were like kind of
just crazy. And it was just like, it wasn't like
a healthy friend group to be around. And they
all found each other there. And I think when
I asked this person I'm very close with, how
do they think that thought that had happened?
They had said it was because they didn't really
know. But again, same same thing, right? They
really know much about each other. And I think
about these friends matching apps. where it's
still an equally, if not more awkward, cold pitch
to make to a friend. And I've put myself in the
position of like the quintessential just like
straight white dude here, right? Like what are
the most awkward group of people in the world?
No social skills. It's like, what do they do?
Hey dude, you look cool. Wanna get like a beer?
What is that? It's an icky thing. So like, how
can we make it so that like the thing that's
gonna cut through that noise. for the friends
and the dating is to just make it hyper personal.
Like it's a lot easier pitch to be like, Oh,
I don't know. You also like the same sports team.
Like there's a game come up this week and you
want to go watch it. It's just like, it's just
more efficient. We are awkward people and dating
apps are inherently awkward thing the way that
they're popularized. So maybe you just got to
make it more human, you know? Yeah. I think that's
what I've noticed. Cause I mean, to me, there's
to a certain point like Instagram is also a dating
app. If you look at the same kind of situations
you just explained, where you are putting on
a persona, you're putting something that other
people, that you find other people would find
attractive, and then you kind of riff off like
those basic connections. And then also those
quick tags on all those dating apps too. They
kind of just like are quick slow lines on what...
you were interested in. But again, you probably
just liked one thing one time. It's not like
an in -depth reflection of everything. So I've
definitely seen those things. So I will say,
y 'all got me back on the dating apps. So that
has definitely been confirmed. Yeah, you heard
it here first. That's on the record. Right now,
I'm editing that out in post. That's on the record.
He's available, everyone. And looking, my question
is, so we're in DC, right? And I know DC, we
all love it and kind of hate it sometimes. What
are the obstacles you all found in dating in
a city like... DC that, you know, was the reason
we started this app. Like what are the kind of
major pitfalls to getting a successful relationship
that you all have seen? So, okay. How do I say
this? I think when I first moved, DC was my first
city living in America in like six years. So
I didn't really, I wasn't familiar with dating
in the American dating scene. Little did I realize
at the time. that it is not indicative of the
rest of probably what it's like to date in America.
So strange little atmosphere. Oh, it's crazy.
You know, it's a transient city. Right. So I
think like I think that inherently in the culture
of dating in D .C., there is almost a more universal
acceptance of transience in the communication
and the consistency and the accountability. Right.
Like like it's just kind of expected that I feel
like probably the threshold and patience level
is higher for ghosting in D .C. than in most
other places. Right. Like people are just like,
oh, you know, it's moving. It's probably not
going to work out anyway. Everyone's got the
super professional secret job, probably traveling
to frickin Qatar or something, right? Not going
to see him for three months. Same thing. I felt
like I felt like that was probably the main thing
for me. Also, man, there's not that many. There's
not that many. All the scene restaurants that
come out, there's just enough places for you
to see all the same people. It's a big enough
city. The thing is, it's the smallest city ever,
but ghosting, like you said, is so common. And
so you know you're gonna see that person out
again. That's a messy moment. Have we ghosted
someone before? Yeah, have y 'all ever ghosted
someone? Oh, yeah, of course. That's a diva die.
I'm like, you know what, yeah. No hesitation
there. I don't think I'll listen to anybody,
but I'm sure someone will come out of the woodworks
and be like, no, girl, you ghosted me. I don't
know. Same. I would say the same thing. I'm like,
first of all, I feel like I've ghosted people.
I've never ghosted someone that I feel like is
going to be hurt by me ghosting. I feel like
I've always tried to finish that conversation.
But then you also get the vibe that this person
probably is on the third date right now today
also. And so ghosting. because it's just like
y 'all completely just didn't find connection
almost, you know? So I think people confuse those
two. Yes, right. I think we're, like, generalizing
ghosty a little bit much here, right? Like, I
think Nunu and I are a little bit on the defensive
right now. Right, is there... Like how best way
to ghost someone? I feel like I'm in this day
and age with dating apps. And hopefully, I also
think if you're on a dating app, hopefully you're
emotionally mature enough to be a human and,
like, have difficult conversations that you can
just be like, hey, I had a great time. on our
date, really didn't see a future here, wish you
the best, let me know if I can hook you up with
someone else in the future. That would be a better
match. We all want to find love, and we all want
to find connection, hopefully, so let's just
be real. Be FFR. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nunu,
did you ever go someone nine years ago? I'm ghosting?
I'm probably getting in trouble, right? I don't
think it means you're a bad person. I don't think
it means you're trash. I think it's part of it.
Like, yes, when I was on apps, I talked to people.
I got to texting right away from app to texting.
And then you kind of talk and then it just, eh,
and then it's whatever. And... I don't feel like
I defined it. I didn't feel like I was trying
to... Was ghosting a thing back then called ghosting?
Back then, in the olden days, y 'all. I don't
know why. I was feeling telegrams, the writing
letters thing. Oh, my God. I saw your ad on the
newspaper. Two cups and a string or something.
So does Impress have anything built in to avoid
ghosting or does it have prompts so that people
can talk more or just naturally engage? Yeah,
so you know, it's funny, I actually, so we have
a feature that we're developing right now, which
I will touch on, but I just want to preface this
with, I didn't even think about this. I was prepping
for this show that we actually have, I remember
bringing this up to users in the past in the
fall, like, hey, what would you think about like
a, almost like a ghosting reporting function,
and you're like, not like over time, it wouldn't
be like one, like one time you're off the platform,
but like after, you know, several, several recordings
of this dude, just ghost people, or just ghost
people, that they would get a warning or something.
And honestly, the users hated it. They didn't
like that idea. They came back, they're like,
that's not really... Too much accountability.
Maybe if you... I think everything feels too
Black Mirror -y or something. But something else
that we've done, which is... Well, we've actually,
at least designed it, we need to actually develop
it into the app, you know, startup life, is basically
expiring conversations after 24 hours. If neither
person responds, or if one person responds and
the other person doesn't, that basically starts
24 -hour clock. So that's to kind of be shown
a mutual interest of action. in order to actually
keep it going. Otherwise, it just goes away.
It un -muddies the platform, and you can just
kind of clean your hands of it. I think that
what that does is it kind of motivates action,
too, right? If the clock's ticking, you can see
the clock ticking. Like, get on with it, you
know? Yeah, I think Bumble, that's why I think
a lot of women have told me that they like Bumble,
is because it's on their terms in that kind of
situation. Like, if you didn't feel it, honey,
especially on Bumble... You'll be swiping on
bubble and then you look at your matches and
you're like, when did I swipe right? So it's
good. Yeah. Get them, get rid of them as soon
as you like see them. That's great. Oh, speaking
of like these like special features, is there
any other ways or there's something built in
impress where you're like encouraging that communication
or something that's unique to impress that other
apps don't have? Love that question. It's actually
something that we are building right now. And
this hasn't been released yet, but whatever we
talk about, we talk about it to investors, so
I guess it's hot off the presses. It's not hot
off the presses, it's not in your hand right
now, but it will be soon, is we're basically
building groups insofar as what Impress does
is we can pretty much tell, based on how you
think and feel about the world, if you're the
most likely to be into something in the local
area. Maybe it's DC United, maybe it's Break
a Tone Brunch. whatever it is shout out to ruffy
right i'm sure ruffy would be in the top one
percent of reggaeton in dc so he would get basically
a prompt after he rates articles or even in his
leads and it'll say, hey, Ralphie, guess what?
You're in the top 1 % of reggaeton brats lovers
in DC. Do you want to opt into this group for
the next 72 hours? And so this group is always
there, but you get access to it in basically
72 hour windows. And anytime there's an article
or anything about, in this case, reggaeton or
brunch, it gets automatically fed into that group
to kind of keep the conversation going. And you
can kind of like a WhatsApp group, almost like
see who's in it. And my favorite part of this
Is that this is a totally new take on pitching
essentially in dating apps, which is every other
dating app. You see someone you swipe, right?
You hope they swipe right on you. But in this
case, you already are among this kind of essentially
interest elite group in the local area. You've
both opted into being there and you're actively
engaged in the conversation. You can actually
see who's in that group and send them a match
across right there. Like if they have dating
enabled, you can send them a dating request.
They're friends enabled. You could send them
a friend's request. And that doesn't have to
be geo locked. I mean, it could be, but you could,
you know, you could set a request to anyone anywhere.
if they share your love of reggaeton. And because
it expires, like we said, after 72 hours, it
kind of does motivate some more conversation
and you can, it also keeps it fresh. It means
that whoever's in that top of percent at any
given time, you know? So yeah, that's kind of
what we're thinking. And we think that'll definitely,
the community has responded really well to that
idea. Cause I think they want to see the social
aspect bolstered. Yeah, I love the social network
aspect of it. Because I love being in a group
chat. I love kind of adding my two cents in a
group chat. So that's really cool. But I like
that idea because it's like I can do it by...
Not specifically geolocation, but, like, again,
if I was interested in a brunch or a location
or a space where I always visit, I can join that
group and I'll be like, look, I can see you there.
I'm already going anyway. It kind of removes
that pressure of, like, I got to be here to date,
but if I'm already going, I can see you, so I
have my normal plan. It makes it casual. Because
I think DC, right, y 'all, definitely loves casual.
Nothing but casual. I think the thing that really
sets it apart is that you kind of have to earn
the right to be there as well, right? So it's
like... I almost feel like in this is, I don't
know, we as humans, we'd love to be special.
That's just like the idea that we know that this
other group. Yeah, it's like we still like we
got slight. Hey, we're here, right. We're showing
out for this one thing that we both love. And
there's an event about this thing we both love.
Obviously, we're going. I don't know you, but
like, let's go and we can even integrate events
into that. So let's just say it's like it's a
band. You know, we can integrate them as an admin,
take discounted tickets, et cetera. You can kind
of see the potential of all this can go. But
the fact of the matter is. We're just trying
to connect people based on who they are when
they're sitting in the jammies on a Sunday watching
Netflix. That's kind of the whole idea. The core.
Everyone's core. Everyone has that. Yeah. No
makeup. No, like, my hair's a mess, right? The
real us that our partner's gonna know, uh, better
or worse. Yeah. So for you all, is the goal a
long -term relationship, a general relationship?
Like, what is the overarching goal, just that?
Is it marriage? How are we defining all this?
I would love to hear Christina's take on this.
For us personally or for our users in the app?
Oh, you're for our users. I mean, either way,
but for your users in your app. I think the goal
for our users is really just for them to have
fun and like build connection, whatever that
means, whether that's like short term or long
term. And hopefully, ideally, whatever success
in dating means to them. And also with friendship,
like we want them to build solid, strong foundations
with friends in their area. And yeah, you know,
it's whatever they prefer. Make them happy. Yeah,
it's kind of like, how do I say this? It's been
so strictly defined before. And in fact, we sometimes
see that with investment, like, oh, it's a dating
app. Well, it's not, I mean, it has dating aspects
to it, but we actually present ourselves as compatibility
as a service. That's like what we call this new
category because it's a little bit, we have like
a free wave on our deck. It's like a little bit
of dating app, a little bit of social network
and a little bit of news aggregator, but it's
not exclusively any of them. It's a weird new
thing. And so I think the reason I bring that
up is because what we're really getting to is
what would you do if you knew specifically how
compatible you are with everyone around you in
real time as a service. What would you do with
that information? If it's specifically for connecting,
do you want to find, I mean, that's inherently
good for deeper connecting, but it's also just
good for having interesting conversations. And
we're just trying to basically create fascinating,
but also like vulnerable dialogue. You know,
I think, I think vulnerability is a big part
of it. You don't have to put on a front as much
just, or can be yourself and be rewarded for
it, which is. Unfortunately, I have novel concept
in today's internet. So what about for you all,
like, when I was on the apps, right, I was like,
okay, I need to find someone to marry. This is
doing my person for ever. Wow. Are you a hopeless
romantic? Like, I was. Are you saying just because
I'm a Gemini, I'm a hopeless romantic, too? Yeah,
I want to know, because I was just like, yeah.
Purpose that I am. Yes, that's true. Oh, that's
okay. I know Raffy is. I am definitely a hopeless
romantic. Well, yeah, for sure. I'm like a stubborn
hopeless romantic, though. But I will cry in
any kind of romantic comedy kind of thing. I'm
a crier, for sure. I want to touch on that stubborn
part, because I think that's part of, like, the
DC culture of it all, right? Like, too cool.
Yeah, I feel like that's, like, I hate that.
And I think that's something that I've kind of
talked with friends, obviously, but, like, I've
been, like, going through, like, dating as, like,
actually, like, letting the guard down in, like,
a way that's productive and not just, like, after.
Like it starts going like rocky you start to
feel that distance because also like you know
I'm saying like I feel like it always takes two
But I feel like when you have that vulnerability
you save so much time and energy to realize it
wasn't a match or wasn't supposed to be what
it was. But I think that's something I definitely
have lacked. Like when I've shown vulnerability
in situations, other people haven't matched that
vulnerability. So I think that's a constant thing
that I definitely see in a DC. I don't know if
it's just a DC scene, but obviously in dating
in general, for sure. Does anyone else kind of
get a little, I don't know. I get a little touchy
like and like not sorry not like that I mean
I almost like nervous in a way like kind of like
I like I do a lot of romantic to be honest with
you but it's kind of like I don't want to move
into things too like not how do I say this there
there are different levels to this like some
people are like they're going one day and they're
like what are we yeah it's other people who are
like three months later I mean I'm neither one
of those but at the same time I feel like I might
consider myself a hopeless romantic but I look
at it through very So like a logical lens like
pragmatic pragmatic lens, I guess yeah, like
don't let your emotions run everything Yeah in
scientific terms are real hopeless romantics
like anxious attachment style people. Oh my gosh,
you know probably yeah For real? Like, put that
article in. Yeah, what's the other one, too?
Like, disorganized? They're stable, which is
what I guess everyone... It's avoided, anxious,
and then the stable connection, which is, like,
I guess the goal for everyone. Yeah, or, oh,
secure. Secure, secure, yeah. My background is
in counseling. I'm a master's in counseling.
So what I really enjoyed about this part is the
psychology that goes into it. what I do as a
counselor is talk about like questions or really
thinking of questions that are going to connect
to that person and be able to bring about a response.
And that's kind of what you're doing here in
this app. Like, how do you get them to ask a
question, be able to feel comfortable to ask
something in their sphere that allows them to
connect more based on outside from like, what
do you like to do? How long have you been in
DC? Where are you from? What do you do? Yeah,
we're only letting the extroverts take the whole
thing, you know? Yeah, like, this sounds amazing.
So, we wanna play a little game with you all.
Okay, let's do it. So, this game is called Red
Flag, Green Flag, Beige Flag. And we're just
gonna put up a couple of different scenarios.
What's Beige Flag, actually? You guys can ask
that. Oh, yeah, so a red flag is like hard, no.
Like, God, this is the worst thing ever. And
green flag, of course, is your positive sign.
But beige is like, meh, it's not like a deal
breaker, but it's like, eh, like, I don't know.
That's for me. OK, OK. I'm so excited. I've never
heard of this. Why am I nervous? Like my faults
are sweaty all of a sudden. OK, so perfect. So
we're going to play red flag, green flag, beige
flag, where we give a couple of scenarios. And
all three of our participants, because Rafi is
participating too, are going to choose if this
is a red, green, or beige flag. So the first
scenario is ask your Spotify playlist before
your phone number. Is that a red flag, or green
flag, or beige flag, y 'all? OK. Hold on. Let
me think it through. That's an easy answer. I'm
not going to say it. That's an easy one. Oh,
I have two answers so far. I don't know the context,
but I'm going to put beige flag. Oh my god, we
have two. Two beige flag, one green flag. Why'd
y 'all say beige? Who said beige? I said beige.
Yeah. Okay, yeah, I said beige too, girl. No,
I said beige because, okay, if I'm talking to
you and I'm clearly interested in you and you're
asking for my Spotify playlist but not my number,
I'm like, girl... Are you like into it or not?
But then if I'm already into like, or if we've
been hanging out and I'm mostly on Instagram
with you, like we talk on Instagram and you ask
me for a Spotify place, that's cool. Like, you
know what I'm saying? It's just depending on
the context for moi. I agree. I think for me
specifically also like music is one of my love
languages. So let's just figure that out before
you even trade like personal information. You
know, like if we're not into music, like we're
not going to vibe. It's just unfortunate. But
yeah, that's what I think. Wait, that sounds
like a green flag, the way you framed it, Christina.
OK, I guess you're right. You should be like,
what's your Spotify playlist? And let's go to
like a vinyl record bar. You know, like maybe
see something with the playlist ass. Like, don't
just look at my playlist and walk away. Right.
Are you trying to do something or not? Yeah,
be so savage. Like Adam, I would have chose green
flag. I'd be like, oh, you like music choice.
You want to see what I'm into, right? I think
it's the gesture. Oh, go ahead, go ahead. Oh,
no, I was just going to say, yeah. I was just
gonna say, like, if what you said, music, if
you don't like your music, how are we gonna match?
I had someone tell me one time, I don't like
music. Literally. And then I realized, oh my
God, we have nothing in common as we kept talking.
So I was like, yeah, that's completely true,
what you said. Wait, what do you mean dress sure
though, Adam? Well, I mean, like, so if somebody,
if I'm vibing with somebody, right, we're talking
and she was like, let me see your Spotify playlist.
That to me, of course, that signals a couple
of things, right? First off, they love music,
which I love that they love music. And second,
that music means a lot to them in context of
compatibility. And I think, like, in a lot of
ways, you're kind of and it keeps me on edge.
Right. I'm all about the anticipation. So if
there's a good music, I feel like seeing my playlist,
they're like, oh, I love this place. Like, that's
it. Like, you're so in play. That's like I'm
swooned in that moment. You know? Yeah. I also
think it kind of takes a certain level of confidence
that it's like nice. I just think it might be
different for girls and guys. That's another
thing. Like, I feel like a guy would be like,
oh, that's green flag. A girl would be like,
oh, he didn't ask for my number. Like, get over
it. Yeah. I love that. So the next scenario we
have is never makes plans, but just says, we'll
see. Easy, unanimous. Who's green flagging that?
Right. It's a red flag. You got to make plans.
We'll see. I only like people who are wishy -washy
and I don't want to commit to anything. That's
like just re -flagging that. Yeah, it's wishy
-washy, but also some people love to beg, like
they want you to beg to see and I'm like, girl,
bye. No, no, no, no, no. So, yeah. If they wanted
to, they would. That's what I learned. I feel
like as an adult or just in life in general,
you're just like, if they want you, they'll...
DC's too busy. We don't have time for that. Right,
right. Okay, so next one, easy. Follows all your
friends, but hasn't followed you yet. Girl. See,
I see it different ways, because there's some
people who, like, who will wait and, like, not
follow you until, like, you know, everything
is really secure and you're, like, really into
each other, because they don't want to go through
the whole unfollowed, you know, weird dating
thing. Because it's weird, right? If you're dating,
are you going to follow them, like, immediately?
Or are you just talking to them, like, after
one day or two days? I don't know. That's just
me. True. I think Instagram is a very sticky,
like... There's so much... Unspoken rules about
Instagram these days. I mean, I feel like I can't
even keep up but yeah, that's a good point Well,
I would say it's a red flag if you are actively
following other people I know and not following
me But if we don't are not talking about social
media If you like that and like, if we haven't
even touched on it, I'm okay with that. Cause
obviously working in social media, I'm like,
we don't have to like talk about it. So I like
that aspect of it. But if you're already following
Nunu and not me, girl, bye. No. Cause you know,
it's just funnier than you're ruffy. Which could
be true, but Nunu is going to be messy and throw
it into my face every time. If you want both
of us, just ask. I agree with you. I'm just saying
devil's advocate. Just because I kind of like
what you said, Rafi is like, also, unfortunately,
I can't really do that now being, you know, leading
essentially a social media company. But I like
when people aren't plugged into social media
that much. That seems healthy to me. Right. And
unfortunately, it's not. We get an ambience of
those who are. So it's like, I don't care. Like,
I don't know. I followed you or I did like, I
don't know about probably will someday. I'm like,
honestly, I like that better than if you did
like you're welcome to. But the fact you like,
I don't care. I'm like, I like that. It's sort
of like, social media ain't that important to
me. That was my favorite thing about my partner
that he does not use social media. It like, helps
so much. I'm like, great. He hates this. You
can see it in his eyes. Next one, uses your Netflix
account without asking. Which means, you know,
they have something there and they just say,
I'm gonna use your Netflix because, you know,
but you're not official yet. What if they create
their own profile though? Is that cool? So, these
are her red flags. These are Nunu's red flags,
and we're just telling her we approve of everything.
I need another red flag. Well, I don't think
it's a good... I don't know, because you see,
it's definitely moochy behavior. Okay, Nunu's
got thoughts on this. Did this happen to you?
Is that why? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Clearly,
honey. Don't tell them you have a Netflix. I've
had to like, you know, remove the devices and
stuff, so I've definitely gotten that. I have
done that. My next question is, can I get on
your Netflix, but I guess never mind. No, especially
now. Netflix won't let me share. They gotta pay
$100 per person. True. That is a fun one. Oh,
constantly refers to you as their friend around
others, which is very DC, like you're just a
friend. Wait, can I ask a question? Am I allowed
to ask all of that? Yeah, let's clarify. What
is the like, I think you got to paint like, what's
the scenario here? Have you been on like one
date? Have you been on like several dates? Like,
OK, all right. I'm like, I'm just going to follow
one date and I call it over my girlfriend like
right away. That's a pretty consequential thing
to do with all of my friends. Like I better be
sure because again, it's circumstantial. It's
if we've been doing this for six months and people,
your friends think we're dating and you still
call me your friend. That's wild. But yeah, if
we're starting out, but there's always a, every
time someone's done that and in a friendship,
there's always kind of like an acknowledgement
or like a laugh or like kind of a thing that
signals that this is like more than just. At
least in my experience, so I'm like, but if they're
like, oh, no, this is this is my dude friend
I'd be like go by so there's a I think there's
a difference in communication or like body language
when you say that for me for more I hope that
if the friends are close enough to they would
they would have some context leading into this
and that's gonna bring some random sure you've
never talked about and they're like, yeah But
new new clearly has with these questions It's
actually in a hot seat Ooh, I want to talk about
this, because DC restaurants, which have a whole
other tirade on this, right? I'm from the South,
from North Carolina, and Raffi is from, you know,
somewhere between New York and North Carolina,
all over the place. I don't think the food in
DC is that great, especially with all these expensive
restaurants, all these places that make you wait.
I mean, I still don't think Nobu is that great,
but whatever. Anyway, make you split the bill
every time. but insist on those expensive date
spots, those exclusive DC restaurants. This is
such a new question. Such a new question. Hold
on. I mean, as someone who dates other men, I'm
just going to go to the beige slash green flag.
And I think that's also important because, right,
in our different experiences, we have different
expectations, like as queer people. I, you know,
going Dutch is pretty much the standard until
you become - Is that the term? I didn't even
know that. I wouldn't know that because I've
never grown up - Dutch oven? I grew up always,
you know, chivalry ain't dead, pay for the -
pay for the girl on the date, and I always have,
and I - You always pay? Always do, yeah. Oh!
Y 'all didn't think at all. I mean, every - I
mean, in fact, every time, unless there's like
- unless, God forbid, I don't know, the person
who wants to go to frickin' let in Madison, and
they're like, I insist on it on my group to split
my bill. But I mean that, yeah. I mean, I think
I always have, yeah. In gay world, I feel like
if I've paid for some dates only because it gave
that energy, like they were more of like, you
know, like they were dolled up. How did you distinguish
that though? I'm curious. Um, I don't want to
say gender norm is it but like I was definitely
the more male presenting they were the more Fine
it was new new No, it was definitely because
they were clearly like like a femme and they
they kind of gave them that gender euphoria So
I kind of like fed into that kind of thing So
yeah, I think those are the things for me that
i'm willing to do but if it's another man that
you know We're both identified as men and you
can pay for this spot and i'll pay for the next
spot That's also what I would prefer not like
splitting it halfway. That's too much Yeah, I
just do the dinner drinks thing. I'll get dinner
you get drinks. Yeah Yeah, like if we're splitting
it, it means I didn't like you. Oh Because you
don't want to owe them nothing. Yeah, I don't
want to owe you anything I'm like, thank you
so much for this past two hours. Let's not do
this again I feel like it relieves the pressure
off of you. Like if I I can go to a nice restaurant
Let me just do my thing. I'll see you later.
And if I feel like talking to you, I will again.
Wait messy question Adam someone who dates women,
has anyone wanted to put the bill with you? I
didn't have a good date. I'm just gonna say no.
I mean, it's just like, I mean, not because of
me. I'm almost because I feel like, like you
said, it's kind of like different cultural experiences
where to be totally honest, like it's expected
that the guy in straight dates will pay. And
because I'm doing it anyways, most of the time
without questions, putting my card down being
like, thank you. I guess it is a gesture. Right.
It's one of those. It's one of those funny things.
I remember like I remember being taught by like
my girlfriends in my mid 20s of like, you know,
I don't like think that men should have to hold
open the door for what we do stuff, but I love
it when they do. I love it when someone goes
back a mile. Exactly. Yeah, there it is. And
so I'm like, OK, that's what I'll do. I rely
on Shilvery personally, so I love it. Yes, she
definitely does. Oh my gosh, we're almost done.
Takes 24 hours to respond, but still watches
all your stories. Now, see, this could go either
way, because they're still responding to you,
but they're watching your stories before they
do. That's such a red flag. I think it was a
quick, quickest red flag for me. Yeah, I saw
a red flag. I thought you read it as a red for
me. Like, of all the questions, I'm like, this
is... I hate it. Why'd you dive into that? There's
so many, like, there's a word for it. I don't
remember what it's called. Breadcrumbing? Yes,
yes, breadcrumbing. Where they're just like lurking.
Oh, and there's another one called submarine.
But anyway, they're just like lurking on you,
but then take a while to respond. I guess it
depends on what was the last text. Was it like
an ending conversation text? Or was it like a
less planned something text and you just didn't
answer me? Because I'm not a good texter. But
if you're watching my stories are clearly on
your phone and you can respond to something about
like planning the next day or something Yeah,
same. I'm a terrible texture. But when I Someone
texts me and I haven't texted them and it comes
to watching their story. I feel such guilt exactly
And you guys have good just accountability in
your minds. Most people are just flowing through
their stories. The fact that you have this trigger
in your mind to be like, I have all these open.
I definitely do that too, but there's a core
group of people that you want to keep up with,
and I just keep up with for sure. But yeah, no,
I definitely say that that's something that's
definitely, I feel like a trend in DC dating,
if not gay dating here. I feel like that's definitely
something that happens a lot. But another thing
is, again, to bring back the previous conversation,
is social media also isn't that serious. So it's
like, I don't know, I constantly have this debate
that's like, oh, they probably just left their
phone on and the stories just kept going. Oh,
no, I never feel that way. Never feel that way?
It was intentional. My phone is always on and
I sometimes see my Instagram stories going and
I'm like, oh shit, I just watched like 20 people's
stories and they probably thought I actually
watched it. But I would never give anyone else
that grace or accountability. Yeah, I do it like
I'll press Instagram I forget and I'll look down
like wow with you like 20 stories for sure But
and then you weren't at those people saw you
so you see I'm not worried But I also don't believe
someone would just watch my story and not but
you know actually be there to see me That was
our last question of a red flag green flag beige
flags And I don't know what color the flies were
after all that There wasn't a lot of green flags
in there. Not a lot of green flags, but one green
flag for sure is downloading the Impress app,
especially if you're in DC. So I want to know
one last final thought you all. Like why, why
Impress? Especially for hustling and bustling
DC listeners. You know what? I probably got the
long winded like backstories. I would love to
hear Christina's answer first and then I'll just
take it on with the actual reason I started this
whole thing. Because you know, I want to know
this too, Alex, why did you join Ambrose? Yeah,
I mean, why not get media literate while also
finding the love of your life or your best friend?
I think it's a two in one stone and we're going
to be building more and, you know, really building
connections and making the world a smaller place
and a more, you know, fun place instead of what's
currently going on the news. And it's kind of
impressed like a happy escape from current news
while still being educated on the news. And so
I think that's why it's really great. to just
download it and play around and check out some
stuff. Yeah, this is great. Love to hear that.
It's great to hear some people working on a team,
like, say better things than you could say about
your own product. So thank you, Christina. No,
I mean, yeah, I mean, the whole reason that this
whole started was, yeah, but back when I was
doing grad school, I wanted to, I was a former
journalist, right? And I wanted to try to find
a way to make media -literate consumption of
news more appealing. I mean, we all know those
juicy algorithms that always agree with us, oversimplify
everything, blame everyone for every problem
in the world. are very addictive and very fun
to use, but they're not reality. And nuance takes
time. These quick TikTok scrolls, they ain't
got no time for nuance and understanding of the
world. So how can we beat them at their own game?
Like we're not going to beat them on the stickiness
and addictedness factor, but maybe we could beat
them in a different universal need, which is
love and connection. And so if you basically
make that important factual news that means to
that end, people will play ball. and they'll
end up falling in love about it while they're
at it. And so it's kind of a win -win for everybody.
We all believe, we all come back to a place where
water is wet, that being so siloed, and figure
out juicy insights about each other in the process.
Yeah, when you explained and impressed like a
newspaper that you could wake up every morning
and do that that really resonated with me because
that's to go with what Christina said it is a
very more like like relaxed sense of the news
positive sense of the news and I don't feel like
I have to like flinch at what the story is gonna
be so that I definitely think is like my favorite
feature of just that news like it you can treat
it like a newspaper I don't feel like I have
to be looking at like the New York Times, the
Washington Post, and all these things. Because
sometimes, like I said, you, especially with
recent news, you kind of see how they kind of,
this one thing happened with planes, and there's
just a lot of news that is funneling through
the planes. And you know what I'm saying? Like,
it's just like very much algorithmic like that.
And I just, yeah. And then that just turns us
all into, in our own echo chambers, right? So
that's kind of how we feel about it. It's funny,
you might get a kick out of this, but we had
11 Georgetown interns last semester. We talked
about it and asked them, explained to them that
it's like a newspaper. And they're like, well,
how did that work? They're like, well, a newspaper
works like that. It's just everyone sees the
same articles at a local area on a given day.
And they're like, that's... really good, like
that sounds nice, like it's kind of more consumable.
We're like, yes, it's been around for a hundred
years. This is the idea. A concept. Another thing
is like we filter out the news outlets. So like
no one's leaning a certain way. Everything's
factual. Everything's reliable. So you don't
have to do a constant guessing game as like a
consumer. Like you just want to read the effing
news, you know? I don't want to do the mind hops
and the mental hops. And I also think it's great
to have a diversity of outlets. Like you're not
just reading one. whole thing like New York Times
or like one WSJ. Like you're getting a diversity
of outlets that, you know, can just educate you
in different ways. Yeah. Yeah. She's right. All
the outlets are vetted. We use a third party
fact checker for that. And so you can basically
ensure it won't be a sensationalist. It won't
tell you the world's burning because that satisfies
the person, but it will tell you what is happening
in a world where water is wet. And you can do
with that what you will get what you need and
move on to the mass ranking side. I love it,
love it. Well, you heard it here first. It is
2025, and it's time to try something new. So
try something new within press. Not only does
it offer a different way to meet people and date
people, it's something that connects us in DC.
And I think slowing down and really defining
that connection is something we all need, especially
in this crazy, crazy time. Media literacy is
sexy, that's what we said. Well, we want to thank
Adam and Christina from Impress for being a part
of our episode today. This is really fun, you
all. Yeah. You're great. This is our first interview
back and we like always are nervous about interviews
because you know sometimes I feel like it's controlling
the person and kind of like feeding off but this
was such a fun interview. I feel like we were
just like chit chatting on a phone call. We go
way back. All your rest free interviews are all
downhill from here. Yeah dating is such a fun
thing to talk about you know. Everyone has dating
stories. So thank you all so much. Make sure
you all at home download Impress on your app
store so you can be in -game connecting again.
Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Christina. And we'll
see y 'all next time. What an episode. Do you
feel enlightened? Do you want to get back in
the dating scene? No, I'm so happy where I am.
But if I was, I would definitely use Impress
because I like the mental stimulation, but there's
an option for friends. So you never know. You
might see me out there and you're grused. And
if you want to speed up the process and be our
friend, just follow us on Instagram, follow us
on TikTok. You can follow me at weightrafi on
both Instagram and TikTok. Also on YouTube, why
not? You never know, we might start more work
on there too. Make sure you follow your girl
at New New Paris with two S's. And you can always
see me once a month at Reggaeton Brunch, follow
at Reggaeton Brunch DC, where we get a pop -it
every month. And you can see me throughout the
DMV, because y 'all know I'll pop up at random
shows everywhere, OK? I want to thank Adam and
Christina, our favorite Gemini and Leo duo, from
one Gemini Leo duo to another. We had so much
fun. Wait, also, real quick, what was the lesson
here? What should our audience member not do?
I don't think you should do the talking stage,
and I think it's important to remember that if
they wanted to, they would, okay? Wait, don't
settle for less. Wait, don't be afraid to upgrade
your dating game, okay? Because it's 2025. Things
are changing, and so do you. That's the only
way you're gonna find love. Do not do a man any
favors, okay? They will think, they will try
to make you think that they are the prize. Do
not forget that you are the prize. You are the
absolute prize, unless they're also great too,
you know? Let's not villainize people out there.
I think everyone's trying to survive in this
dating world. Exactly, we're all just trying
to survive. So I think with Impress, the world
will be a little bit more better, because you've
already impressed me, Raffy. Oh, I'm so glad,
Nunu. I love you. She won't say it back. I know
I love you all for listening. Thanks for listening
to the episode. make sure to follow at weight
rafi and at new new paris for all updates especially
about reggaeton brunch and when you're gonna
party with us we'll see you there