WEBVTT 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:04.240 We are continuing, this is the second sermon 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:09.960 on parenting. Last week we did study Deuteronomy 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:12.419 6, we'll reference that here in just a moment. 00:00:12.919 --> 00:00:15.640 What we've been working on all summer is the 00:00:15.640 --> 00:00:19.579 Christian foundations, God's created order, male 00:00:19.579 --> 00:00:23.300 and female, how that leads to marriage for God's 00:00:23.300 --> 00:00:26.019 glory and the benefit of the world, and a whole 00:00:26.019 --> 00:00:29.829 host of things. As we work through marriage, 00:00:29.929 --> 00:00:32.469 part of marriage is to be fruitful and multiply 00:00:32.469 --> 00:00:36.770 and to raise up godly children. So we've got 00:00:36.770 --> 00:00:40.170 one more sermon after this to kind of round this 00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:43.670 out. But let us now go before the Lord today 00:00:43.670 --> 00:00:48.509 and ask for his blessing. O Lord our God bless 00:00:48.509 --> 00:00:51.429 us in your service and make us strong in our 00:00:51.429 --> 00:00:54.229 family life, especially with the gift of children 00:00:54.229 --> 00:00:57.549 which you graciously bestow upon us. Strengthen 00:00:57.549 --> 00:01:00.689 us that we might serve you acceptably that we 00:01:00.689 --> 00:01:03.750 might do your will here upon earth Grant us by 00:01:03.750 --> 00:01:06.849 your spirit that the words of my mouth and the 00:01:06.849 --> 00:01:09.269 meditations of all our hearts be pleasing your 00:01:09.269 --> 00:01:13.489 sight Oh God for the sake of your son Jesus amen 00:01:13.489 --> 00:01:21.409 As you often have noticed I generally preach 00:01:21.409 --> 00:01:25.939 a whole passage and draw out God's truth. Today 00:01:25.939 --> 00:01:28.920 is a little more thematic, right? We're parenting 00:01:28.920 --> 00:01:32.040 in the early years, and so we have one starting 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:35.299 or one launching verse that brings us into that, 00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:38.219 and then of course we'll touch in on lots of 00:01:38.219 --> 00:01:41.780 scriptures along the way. Our verse today is 00:01:41.780 --> 00:01:47.420 from Proverbs 19, 18. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing 00:01:47.420 --> 00:01:51.560 your son while there is hope, and do not set 00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:55.359 your heart. on His destruction. These are the 00:01:55.359 --> 00:01:59.019 words of Almighty God. Receive them in your hearts. 00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:06.019 The theologian and father of ten, Peter Lightheart 00:02:06.019 --> 00:02:09.639 says this, when Christians look for help with 00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:13.139 parenting, they often look for some kind of magic 00:02:13.139 --> 00:02:17.080 bullet, some kind of potion that will make their 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:20.719 kids obedient, some technique that will solve 00:02:20.909 --> 00:02:25.750 everything and solve it fairly and effortlessly. 00:02:27.509 --> 00:02:31.129 He now says this, there are no special tricks. 00:02:31.909 --> 00:02:34.669 We become good parents to the extent that we 00:02:34.669 --> 00:02:37.750 become more like our Father who has revealed 00:02:37.750 --> 00:02:41.789 Himself to us in Jesus. And we become more like 00:02:41.789 --> 00:02:46.250 Jesus by following and keeping in step with the 00:02:46.250 --> 00:02:52.620 Spirit of Jesus. As we go through our study here 00:02:52.620 --> 00:02:54.699 today, there are four things that I want you 00:02:54.699 --> 00:03:01.340 to take from this. And these are those things. 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:06.000 What is the destination in parenting? What is 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:08.800 the destination in parenting? That is the goal. 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.879 Now, as we talk about this, today we're talking 00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:16.259 about the early years, right? And I'm gonna explain 00:03:16.259 --> 00:03:19.319 what I mean by that just shortly. You'll say, 00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:21.000 but you didn't cover it all. Well, that's because 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.539 we're doing this in portions. All right. Number 00:03:24.539 --> 00:03:27.599 two, there is life in the rod of discipline. 00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:35.560 There is life in the rod of discipline. Thirdly, 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.680 timeliness of discipline. Timeliness of discipline. 00:03:42.039 --> 00:03:46.879 And then finally, the steps of biblical discipline, 00:03:46.979 --> 00:03:49.300 the steps of biblical discipline. And one of 00:03:49.300 --> 00:03:51.620 the things, if you've noticed, I was a little 00:03:51.620 --> 00:03:56.300 late last night in getting out the supporting 00:03:56.300 --> 00:04:00.120 scriptures, these three points, the charge. But 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:03.840 yesterday or last night's notice in the realm 00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:07.099 that gives you all that information, I included 00:04:07.099 --> 00:04:10.159 a detailed covering of the points I'm going to 00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:13.979 make. regarding the steps of biblical discipline 00:04:13.979 --> 00:04:17.259 so you can review those later and maybe even 00:04:17.259 --> 00:04:19.339 keep them in a prominent place at your house 00:04:19.339 --> 00:04:23.199 to remind yourself of them. Now according to 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:26.860 the Bible, our children are saints. They are 00:04:26.860 --> 00:04:30.779 given to us to turn around and be given to the 00:04:30.779 --> 00:04:35.319 Lord, given in baptism, and then return to their 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:38.079 parents to be raised up in the fear and admonition 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:42.110 of the Lord. Last week, We heard God's instruction 00:04:42.110 --> 00:04:45.470 from Deuteronomy chapter 6 that parents are to 00:04:45.470 --> 00:04:49.509 teach God's law diligently, teaching in word 00:04:49.509 --> 00:04:54.089 and deed to our children to bind God's law on 00:04:54.089 --> 00:04:56.529 their hand. Remember, we talked about that. And 00:04:56.529 --> 00:04:59.709 thus, guiding them and restraining them in all 00:04:59.709 --> 00:05:02.870 that they have authority over. And they do that 00:05:02.870 --> 00:05:07.050 all for the glory of God. Finally, we were admonished. 00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:11.019 that God's word is to be the lens for understanding 00:05:11.019 --> 00:05:14.379 the world and everything in it. I'm gonna pause 00:05:14.379 --> 00:05:16.879 right here and say this. Children, remember what 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:19.300 I said to you last week. I want you to pay attention, 00:05:19.379 --> 00:05:22.600 especially if you're eight years old or older, 00:05:22.620 --> 00:05:26.439 really pay attention. I want you to hear what 00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:28.920 your parents are being instructed in and you 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:32.939 will too also learn, you will learn children 00:05:32.939 --> 00:05:35.959 what your parents are aiming for and so how you 00:05:35.959 --> 00:05:39.019 can work. with them. You'll begin to understand 00:05:39.019 --> 00:05:41.339 just a little bit about what your parents are 00:05:41.339 --> 00:05:47.360 doing. God relates to us using covenants. That's 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:50.680 a big word in some ways. A covenant is simply 00:05:50.680 --> 00:05:55.259 this. It is a God -structured and imposed relationship 00:05:55.259 --> 00:05:59.000 with corresponding blessings and curses. God 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:00.939 has come into our life. He's interrupted us. 00:06:00.939 --> 00:06:04.220 He said, I am your God. He's called you out of 00:06:04.220 --> 00:06:08.410 your pagan, your unbelieving. Place said you're 00:06:08.410 --> 00:06:11.949 mine You're baptized God's name is placed upon 00:06:11.949 --> 00:06:14.829 you and so everything else now on in your life 00:06:14.829 --> 00:06:19.550 is corresponding to that baptism You're his and 00:06:19.550 --> 00:06:23.250 all you do Is in relationship to God's promises 00:06:23.250 --> 00:06:26.769 to you, but you know what those promises have? 00:06:27.649 --> 00:06:30.110 Blessings I would have put your hands asked you 00:06:30.110 --> 00:06:32.189 to put your hand up and say who wants the blessings 00:06:32.189 --> 00:06:35.120 of God? I would hope everybody would raise their 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:36.899 hand, and in some cases, some of you would be 00:06:36.899 --> 00:06:40.459 sticking both hands up. That's great. We love 00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:44.699 the blessings of God. And we often don't spend 00:06:44.699 --> 00:06:48.699 enough time looking at the curses that happen 00:06:48.699 --> 00:06:54.019 when we don't follow God, when we walk away from 00:06:54.019 --> 00:06:58.360 the covenant of God. Dearly beloved, by the grace 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:01.360 of God and His sovereign merciful providence, 00:07:01.850 --> 00:07:04.670 We have been delivered from our sin by Jesus' 00:07:04.670 --> 00:07:07.970 work on the cross. He sits on His throne of grace 00:07:07.970 --> 00:07:11.129 interceding for us. Oh, what joy that is. What 00:07:11.129 --> 00:07:15.670 a blessing that is for all of us. King Jesus, 00:07:15.769 --> 00:07:20.209 as our high priest, sympathizes with us and our 00:07:20.209 --> 00:07:24.769 weaknesses. Whereas Hebrews 4 tells us, He was 00:07:24.769 --> 00:07:29.550 tempted in all points, as we are, and was without 00:07:29.550 --> 00:07:34.550 sin. We're told that Jesus himself grew in wisdom 00:07:34.550 --> 00:07:40.490 and stature and now is our priest, king, and 00:07:40.490 --> 00:07:43.670 prophet. He's all those things. If we're to be 00:07:43.670 --> 00:07:46.769 conformed to Christ, that is the pattern for 00:07:46.769 --> 00:07:50.029 us all, whether you're a child or whether you're 00:07:50.029 --> 00:07:54.689 an adult. We'll talk more about this priest, 00:07:54.870 --> 00:07:57.410 king, prophet motif. I'm going to introduce it 00:07:57.410 --> 00:08:00.220 a little bit here. as it relates to the early 00:08:00.220 --> 00:08:03.759 years. But really, for all of us, even as adults, 00:08:03.860 --> 00:08:06.839 this is the progression of life. We'll talk more 00:08:06.839 --> 00:08:10.420 about that next week when we talk about training 00:08:10.420 --> 00:08:15.139 up our older children. We are called, as Romans 00:08:15.139 --> 00:08:19.180 13, 14 tells us, to be clothed with Christ Jesus, 00:08:19.959 --> 00:08:22.699 making no provision for the lust of the flesh. 00:08:23.300 --> 00:08:26.839 That is the sinful nature. As redeemed saints 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:29.600 of God, we are no longer in bondage to sin, and 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:34.120 yet the sinful nature still remains in us to 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:37.980 put away, to be put away, and for us to joyfully 00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:43.379 obey God in all things. And every adult in the 00:08:43.379 --> 00:08:48.419 room says amen and praise God. Parents, do not 00:08:48.419 --> 00:08:51.779 be deceived. Every single one of your baptized 00:08:51.779 --> 00:08:56.340 children are in God's covenant. And yet, they're 00:08:56.340 --> 00:09:00.600 still sinners, needing the grace of God provided 00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:05.460 for in the blood of Jesus. God has called every 00:09:05.460 --> 00:09:09.519 parent in here to parenthood. You can't say, 00:09:10.779 --> 00:09:12.679 all right, I have a child, but I don't think 00:09:12.679 --> 00:09:16.460 I'm called to parenthood. No. If God has given 00:09:16.460 --> 00:09:22.149 you children, you are called to parenthood. As 00:09:22.149 --> 00:09:26.289 you already know, God's ordinary means of sanctification 00:09:26.289 --> 00:09:30.669 is other people. I've said that to you many times, 00:09:31.149 --> 00:09:35.610 right? Because what brings out your selfishness? 00:09:36.009 --> 00:09:39.529 What brings out your irritation, your self -preservation, 00:09:39.889 --> 00:09:42.769 your own desires? It's when somebody else in 00:09:42.769 --> 00:09:46.590 your life, and again I'll point out, by God's 00:09:46.590 --> 00:09:50.799 design. gets in your life and creates what you 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:53.580 think is a hardship or you don't like. And what 00:09:53.580 --> 00:10:00.779 flows up out of us? Our sin. So, moms, dads, 00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:06.700 don't be shocked when your children do those 00:10:06.700 --> 00:10:11.639 things. And yes, you have to guard yourself so 00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:14.820 that you are not being a bad teacher in this 00:10:14.820 --> 00:10:20.370 way. We are confronted by our own sinful natures 00:10:20.370 --> 00:10:24.950 by virtue of the grace of God Providing us a 00:10:24.950 --> 00:10:32.970 household of sinners wait what? God has given 00:10:32.970 --> 00:10:36.690 us he's provided us a household of sinners in 00:10:36.690 --> 00:10:42.669 whom we are responsible for We're gonna beg God 00:10:42.669 --> 00:10:46.659 and instruct our children as God commanded we 00:10:46.659 --> 00:10:50.440 need the whole counsel of God's Word. God not 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:53.639 only gives us His life -giving laws, commands, 00:10:53.799 --> 00:10:56.980 and statutes, but here's something else He gives 00:10:56.980 --> 00:10:59.860 us. By virtue of the history that we read about, 00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:02.100 the stories that we read about, that God has 00:11:02.100 --> 00:11:05.700 provided for us in His holy Word, we get case 00:11:05.700 --> 00:11:12.120 study after case study of why only God's words 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:17.100 are the words of life. God's word is not only 00:11:17.100 --> 00:11:22.179 an owner's manual, right, but it is also a map. 00:11:24.139 --> 00:11:27.899 Dearly beloved, mankind, every person, marriage 00:11:27.899 --> 00:11:31.440 and parenting is for the glory of God and the 00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:38.779 benefit of the world. As parents, it is good 00:11:38.779 --> 00:11:43.980 not only to know certain rules, but to have guidance. 00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:49.679 from all of God's Word so that we are able to 00:11:49.679 --> 00:11:55.620 make God -pleasing disciples. And that is part 00:11:55.620 --> 00:12:00.159 of the final destination of parenting. That is 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:03.080 to say, what's the outcome that we're looking 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:07.299 for? How do we use God's Word to understand and 00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:09.559 move forward? The destination of parenting is 00:12:09.559 --> 00:12:13.039 right here. Here's the destination. Children. 00:12:14.510 --> 00:12:18.389 grandchildren who joyfully worship God in all 00:12:18.389 --> 00:12:21.950 areas of life. Not just when they come to church 00:12:21.950 --> 00:12:24.769 on Sunday, not just when you do your family devotions, 00:12:25.049 --> 00:12:27.850 not just when they're doing the spiritual things 00:12:27.850 --> 00:12:30.669 that you think are service to others, but in 00:12:30.669 --> 00:12:32.970 every aspect of their life. Is that not what 00:12:32.970 --> 00:12:36.750 you desire? To see your children joyfully serving 00:12:36.750 --> 00:12:41.070 the Lord, whether it's at their job, in their 00:12:41.070 --> 00:12:44.009 households, in their marriages. how they treat 00:12:44.009 --> 00:12:46.789 their neighbors, how they even treat the dog. 00:12:48.090 --> 00:12:55.649 All these things matter. We want our children 00:12:55.649 --> 00:12:59.289 taking dominion, being fruitful, and multiplying 00:12:59.289 --> 00:13:03.090 in all things to the glory of God and the benefit 00:13:03.090 --> 00:13:08.149 of the world. God's model to get there is the 00:13:08.149 --> 00:13:13.960 priest -king -prophet model. The case study of 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:16.379 this example of parenting is the children of 00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:20.460 Israel. The priestly stage in the Bible is from 00:13:20.460 --> 00:13:24.840 Exodus through Judges. And it is a stage full 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:28.340 of detailed instructions about everything. Just 00:13:28.340 --> 00:13:30.200 like with small children, what do you need to 00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:34.139 do? Don't touch that socket. Don't run in the 00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:37.399 street. Don't do this. Wait. Do this over here. 00:13:38.039 --> 00:13:43.889 It's very, very detailed. When God calls his 00:13:43.889 --> 00:13:48.629 people out of the bondage of Egypt, what does 00:13:48.629 --> 00:13:52.330 he do? He passes them through the waters of the 00:13:52.330 --> 00:13:56.830 Red Sea. We're told in 1 Corinthians 10 that 00:13:56.830 --> 00:13:59.490 that was their baptism. They pass through that 00:13:59.490 --> 00:14:01.889 and then he comes out and says, okay, you need 00:14:01.889 --> 00:14:03.529 to be the people of God and I'm going to give 00:14:03.529 --> 00:14:06.049 you all these different things to do. He's going 00:14:06.049 --> 00:14:08.450 to tell you then what not to do and he's going 00:14:08.450 --> 00:14:13.679 to tell them what to do. in excruciatingly painful 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:17.460 details. Have you ever read those parts of scriptures, 00:14:17.659 --> 00:14:20.039 mom and dads, with your children? And you're 00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:25.379 like, why do we have to read about every single 00:14:25.379 --> 00:14:29.899 tribe's gifts? Why do we have to do all that? 00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:34.759 Why is it repeated again and again and again 00:14:34.759 --> 00:14:39.519 and again and again? Isn't that parenting? Repeating. 00:14:40.279 --> 00:14:43.860 Again and again and again. They were building 00:14:43.860 --> 00:14:48.100 a place to worship God so they could become the 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:53.779 priest and the blessings to the world. And of 00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:55.500 course, what did they do? They failed in all 00:14:55.500 --> 00:14:58.120 this many ways. And ultimately, we know they 00:14:58.120 --> 00:15:01.740 failed at their priestly duties and caused the 00:15:01.740 --> 00:15:04.500 pagan nations to blaspheme God because of their 00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:10.220 wickedness. Their calendar of life was centered 00:15:10.220 --> 00:15:13.620 on the annual repetitions of God's law. That's 00:15:13.620 --> 00:15:15.840 why I love the church calendar because it helps 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:18.679 us with this. But it wasn't just about God's 00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:22.539 law, but it was mercy and justice and grace and 00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:24.580 feasting to the glory of God and the benefit 00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:26.240 of the world. That's what all these things were 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:30.620 for. The priestly stage of parenting is roughly 00:15:30.620 --> 00:15:39.509 from infancy to age seven. need to know their 00:15:39.509 --> 00:15:41.970 children's identity. We've talked about this 00:15:41.970 --> 00:15:46.049 in many ways. We need to understand their frame 00:15:46.049 --> 00:15:51.009 and their understanding and their status of having 00:15:51.009 --> 00:15:55.450 remaining sin. And all of this requires the repetitions 00:15:55.450 --> 00:16:00.090 of rules and consequences and how to do the good 00:16:00.090 --> 00:16:08.980 things. The kingly stage. And there are some 00:16:08.980 --> 00:16:11.100 transitioning stages, too. You gotta understand 00:16:11.100 --> 00:16:14.120 that. So the kingly stage is primarily 11 to 00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:16.860 15, but there's a transition. Different kids 00:16:16.860 --> 00:16:19.580 mature at different rates. They have different 00:16:19.580 --> 00:16:22.399 understandings. If you have more than one child, 00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:24.200 you recognize that your children have different 00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:26.799 personalities and respond to different things 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:30.740 in different ways. Some children come onto it 00:16:30.740 --> 00:16:34.639 quick. Some children a little more, how shall 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:40.039 we say it, hard -headed. I had a couple of my 00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:41.919 daughters, as you know, I have six daughters 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.639 and two sons, but I had a couple of my daughters 00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:47.320 where I had to brush their hair, because they 00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:50.740 were pretty ornery, would not sit still for their 00:16:50.740 --> 00:16:54.279 mama doing it. Other ones were very cooperative 00:16:54.279 --> 00:17:03.039 in that way. So this stage is a transition from 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:06.740 being told what to do at every point, to self 00:17:06.740 --> 00:17:09.019 -rule, right? It's a kingly stage. They're moving 00:17:09.019 --> 00:17:12.299 from simply being told what to do in every minutia 00:17:12.299 --> 00:17:16.160 thing, every small thing, right? To self -rule 00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:19.640 that garners more responsibility, that leads 00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:24.220 to dominion and fruitfulness in a way that glorifies 00:17:24.220 --> 00:17:29.599 God and benefits others. The pinnacle of child 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:33.700 rearing. is the life stage of the prophet, 15 00:17:33.700 --> 00:17:36.319 to 18, and I would even argue goes beyond this. 00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:39.380 But this stage is where men and women no longer 00:17:39.380 --> 00:17:43.960 are simply ruling as kings in action, but are 00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:50.339 then transferring wisdom, knowledge, grace, and 00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:55.019 mercy, and the fear of the Lord to others, lifting 00:17:55.019 --> 00:18:00.359 them up as they themselves diminish. If I could 00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:04.619 use a high school analogy on this, think about 00:18:04.619 --> 00:18:09.079 team sports, right? Usually there's upperclassmen 00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:11.920 that are the captains. And part of what those 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:15.240 captains need to do, particularly as seniors, 00:18:15.640 --> 00:18:19.259 is to do what? To take all their wisdom and all 00:18:19.259 --> 00:18:22.000 the stuff they've learned and be able to transfer 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:24.279 it to others because they're moving on to another 00:18:24.279 --> 00:18:27.059 stage. They're going to another place in life. 00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:30.259 Again, I'm going to point out to you right now, 00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:32.859 because we talked about this last week, and I'll 00:18:32.859 --> 00:18:35.319 mention again, everybody, if you're older in 00:18:35.319 --> 00:18:38.779 here, your kids are gone. Yes, but you take vows 00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:42.000 to help those families every time a child's baptized, 00:18:42.220 --> 00:18:44.579 right? Isn't that what we do? So even if you're 00:18:44.579 --> 00:18:46.900 older and your kids are gone, you're here to 00:18:46.900 --> 00:18:50.579 assist these families. But every one of us need 00:18:50.579 --> 00:18:54.079 to understand this on the long -term part of 00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:56.529 life. You got that priestly part where you have 00:18:56.529 --> 00:18:57.970 to be told everything. You didn't know anything 00:18:57.970 --> 00:18:59.829 about Christ. You have to be told everything, 00:19:00.049 --> 00:19:02.049 everything, everything, again and again and again. 00:19:02.829 --> 00:19:05.069 And then pretty soon you realize, man, and dads, 00:19:05.230 --> 00:19:07.450 a lot of you are in this stage right now. I got 00:19:07.450 --> 00:19:09.390 to be a king. I got to rule. I got to do this. 00:19:09.430 --> 00:19:12.029 I have all this authority. And I got to do all 00:19:12.029 --> 00:19:16.809 these things. Yes, that's right. And God gives 00:19:16.809 --> 00:19:19.589 you all kinds of instructions. But you have to 00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:22.890 move from simply knowing it to the wise application 00:19:22.890 --> 00:19:25.670 of it. And then you're going to transfer. And 00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:29.309 as you get older, older folks in the room, myself 00:19:29.309 --> 00:19:33.369 included, this is part of how you parent older 00:19:33.369 --> 00:19:36.750 children, is you become the prophet in their 00:19:36.750 --> 00:19:41.849 life. Right? Not the king. You're not ruling 00:19:41.849 --> 00:19:44.190 over them. No, they've gone and started their 00:19:44.190 --> 00:19:48.410 own lives. Now, you're no longer ruling in their 00:19:48.410 --> 00:19:51.849 lives. What you are doing is advising them. as 00:19:51.849 --> 00:19:54.069 a friend of God to tell them the right things 00:19:54.069 --> 00:19:57.029 to do, how to be a good king. You're not being 00:19:57.029 --> 00:20:01.329 the king for them. And here's the thing, what 00:20:01.329 --> 00:20:04.589 you need to be aiming for is you want to get 00:20:04.589 --> 00:20:11.210 more and more and more out of their way. You're 00:20:11.210 --> 00:20:14.849 still speaking to them, but you're moving out 00:20:14.849 --> 00:20:18.470 of their way. You diminish so that they may be 00:20:18.470 --> 00:20:25.619 raised up. now Just like seniors if there's a 00:20:25.619 --> 00:20:27.359 couple seniors in here, okay, just like as your 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:30.660 older students guess what? Right. I'm not saying 00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:33.339 don't regard your parents because now you're 00:20:33.339 --> 00:20:35.819 older and you've got all this no no no look to 00:20:35.819 --> 00:20:40.039 your older fathers Both your biological and those 00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:44.740 in the church listen to them Wrestle with their 00:20:44.740 --> 00:20:49.240 thoughts think about this when when King ray 00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:54.369 of bone Solomon's King is raised up to the king. 00:20:54.750 --> 00:20:56.890 He listens to his buddies, who are about 40 years 00:20:56.890 --> 00:21:00.990 old, by the way, and he disregarded all the older 00:21:00.990 --> 00:21:04.190 wise counsel. Sometimes we think those guys, 00:21:04.930 --> 00:21:07.349 they're out of touch. They don't have any understanding, 00:21:07.410 --> 00:21:11.049 these older guys. I know they made mistakes and 00:21:11.049 --> 00:21:12.910 they had their day. Yeah, that's right, they're 00:21:12.910 --> 00:21:16.910 not kings anymore. But they have lived, they 00:21:16.910 --> 00:21:22.180 have wrestled with God, and just like Jacob's 00:21:22.180 --> 00:21:25.380 blessing, when Jacob is wrestling with God and 00:21:25.380 --> 00:21:27.880 he's holding on tight and he says, I'm not gonna 00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:31.579 let go till you give me a blessing. What does 00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:34.880 God do? He blesses him all right by putting his 00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:40.339 hip out of socket. Why did he do that? Have you 00:21:40.339 --> 00:21:43.059 ever pondered that? Well, there's a reason for 00:21:43.059 --> 00:21:46.390 this. It's because God says, you know what? Your 00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:48.670 kingly days are over. Your days of going and 00:21:48.670 --> 00:21:52.730 doing the shepherding are over. Because now you 00:21:52.730 --> 00:21:54.789 can't run and chase the sheep. What do you have 00:21:54.789 --> 00:21:57.730 to do now? You have to step back and tell others 00:21:57.730 --> 00:22:01.250 how to do it. And I've got to tell you, as a 00:22:01.250 --> 00:22:03.890 dad sometimes, and I'm sure Jacob was this way, 00:22:04.450 --> 00:22:06.589 he tells them what to do. They go out and do 00:22:06.589 --> 00:22:08.630 it. He can see them, and they get farther away. 00:22:09.210 --> 00:22:14.319 He's gripping, thinking, Lord, have mercy. He's 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:16.259 gripping, because I've told him things and they're, 00:22:16.259 --> 00:22:22.599 oh, man. So this kind of gives us this pattern. 00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:29.599 You may have noticed this pattern. It's likened 00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:32.420 into the trivium in classical Christian education. 00:22:33.460 --> 00:22:36.599 Christians need to see this pattern of scripture 00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:40.380 and so apply it. The early stages of parenting 00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:44.359 are centered around the hard patient repetitive 00:22:44.359 --> 00:22:48.440 teaching Correcting and administering discipline 00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:51.619 as our third as our theme verse says today from 00:22:51.619 --> 00:22:56.319 Proverbs 19 Chasing your son while there's hope 00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:00.200 and do not set your heart on his destruction 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:06.759 This reminds us This reminds us that there has 00:23:06.759 --> 00:23:09.869 to be a timeliness to what we're doing. There's 00:23:09.869 --> 00:23:13.069 a short time. Parents, I know when your kids 00:23:13.069 --> 00:23:18.730 are small, it's difficult. And if you have been 00:23:18.730 --> 00:23:21.589 neglectful either in ignorance or in practice, 00:23:22.910 --> 00:23:25.430 okay, willful practice or ignorance, it's not 00:23:25.430 --> 00:23:28.190 too late. I'll tell you, my wife and I, I'm trying 00:23:28.190 --> 00:23:30.869 to assure you while I'm setting this all up, 00:23:31.250 --> 00:23:33.529 my wife and I really didn't get the full understanding 00:23:33.529 --> 00:23:41.799 of good parenting till Child number five. At 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:44.220 five, we started to really get a handle on it 00:23:44.220 --> 00:23:47.039 and understand it to its fully. And then we had 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:48.920 to discipline ourselves to put it in practice. 00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:50.940 And guess what? Some of the older ones took to 00:23:50.940 --> 00:23:57.839 it more easily, and others didn't. Right? If 00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:00.480 we neglect the word of God and do not chasten 00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:05.710 teaching and administering the rod, we're failing 00:24:05.710 --> 00:24:09.029 at binding the Word of God to our children in 00:24:09.029 --> 00:24:13.569 a timely manner. That scripture says, while there's 00:24:13.569 --> 00:24:18.609 hope, if we're not timely, we have by our own 00:24:18.609 --> 00:24:22.970 disobedience set our heart on our child's destruction. 00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:29.750 This does not deny the work of God in their life. 00:24:29.849 --> 00:24:31.970 I'm not denying the gospel and God's sovereign 00:24:31.970 --> 00:24:35.190 work. Our children are delivered by the work 00:24:35.190 --> 00:24:39.569 of Christ alone, and yet God gives us the task 00:24:39.569 --> 00:24:43.269 to bring them up in His nurture and admonition. 00:24:44.769 --> 00:24:48.849 Again, you've heard me say at baptism many times, 00:24:49.049 --> 00:24:52.849 conditions do not nullify grace. Grace enables 00:24:52.849 --> 00:24:56.960 us to fulfill the conditions. And that's a work 00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:01.059 of God himself through Christ Jesus. Children 00:25:01.059 --> 00:25:04.460 need to know what God is like if they are to 00:25:04.460 --> 00:25:09.619 imitate God. Our children need to grow in the 00:25:09.619 --> 00:25:14.420 knowledge, wisdom, fear, and love of God. This 00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:17.599 requires, as Psalm 103, beginning in verse 13 00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:20.559 tells us, as a father pities his children, so 00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:24.079 Yahweh pities those who fear him, for he knows 00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:28.740 our frame. He remembers that we are dust. As 00:25:28.740 --> 00:25:34.680 parents, we are to study God's Word and pray 00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:38.440 and believe the promises of God so that we can 00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:41.299 understand our children and where they are in 00:25:41.299 --> 00:25:44.640 their varying stages or various stages of growing 00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:48.880 towards Christian maturity, productivity, and 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:53.359 wisdom. They must be trained to submit to God. 00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:57.500 and his authorities of which you are. If you 00:25:57.500 --> 00:26:00.940 send your children to Sunday school or to a Christian 00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:09.779 school or to a co -op, parents are delegating 00:26:09.779 --> 00:26:14.920 your authority to those teachers. So they too 00:26:14.920 --> 00:26:19.160 hold authority. Now it's authority that proceeds 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:22.839 from you as the parent. But they must be taught. 00:26:24.680 --> 00:26:28.579 to submit to God and all his authorities. Children 00:26:28.579 --> 00:26:31.400 must be taught that to disobey their father and 00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:36.000 mother is first to disobey God. Your rules should 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:40.960 be centered around God's word. Parents, make 00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:44.720 sure that you distinguish between rules for your 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:50.460 convenience, preferences, and dislikes in God's 00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:54.269 law. I want to say that one more time. Parents, 00:26:54.369 --> 00:26:57.630 make sure you distinguish between rules for your 00:26:57.630 --> 00:27:03.230 convenience, preferences, and dislikes for God's 00:27:03.230 --> 00:27:07.829 law. Now, I get that part of what we're doing 00:27:07.829 --> 00:27:10.329 when we run our households is we are providing 00:27:10.329 --> 00:27:12.549 some structure. God doesn't give us every little 00:27:12.549 --> 00:27:14.430 detailed thing in there, and so some things are 00:27:14.430 --> 00:27:17.910 gonna be set up just for running the household 00:27:17.910 --> 00:27:22.170 well, right? And all kinds of things and if you've 00:27:22.170 --> 00:27:24.109 talked to me or sat in my Sunday school classes 00:27:24.109 --> 00:27:26.789 when I've taught on this You know, I learned 00:27:26.789 --> 00:27:29.730 how to do all kinds of things and there's other 00:27:29.730 --> 00:27:32.009 good resources other faithful men of God that 00:27:32.009 --> 00:27:33.849 give you practical things on how to work stuff 00:27:33.849 --> 00:27:39.329 out But but if if it's quiet if you're demanding 00:27:39.329 --> 00:27:42.329 quiet from your kids Simply because you don't 00:27:42.329 --> 00:27:45.269 want to hear the noise of God's covenant blessings 00:27:45.269 --> 00:27:49.130 in your life. That's problem if you're irritated 00:27:50.049 --> 00:27:53.549 because you stepped on a Lego and you bark out 00:27:53.549 --> 00:27:57.789 at your kids over it, that's your convenience 00:27:57.789 --> 00:28:00.970 that's being challenged, not right or wrong. 00:28:01.509 --> 00:28:03.670 What's the solution? Well, how am I contributing? 00:28:03.829 --> 00:28:06.990 What am I doing to help bring order so that they 00:28:06.990 --> 00:28:10.369 love God, love His word, and you're considering 00:28:10.369 --> 00:28:16.410 their frame? Do not be like the Pharisees who 00:28:16.410 --> 00:28:19.190 added to the law for their benefit and glory. 00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:23.740 And in doing so, Jesus said, bind heavy burdens 00:28:23.740 --> 00:28:28.440 hard to bear and lay them on their disciples' 00:28:29.660 --> 00:28:35.140 shoulders. Do not bind heavy burdens hard to 00:28:35.140 --> 00:28:38.200 bear, laying them on your children's shoulders. 00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:41.900 Our children must be taught to obey God's word. 00:28:42.180 --> 00:28:46.500 This is how they learn to respond to God's word. 00:28:46.680 --> 00:28:50.589 They must be taught to obey your word, to respond 00:28:50.589 --> 00:28:56.230 to it. Okay? What I'm saying is, you should be 00:28:56.230 --> 00:28:59.670 able to speak to your child, and then they should 00:28:59.670 --> 00:29:04.470 do what you ask. Right? The right answer isn't 00:29:04.470 --> 00:29:08.589 to get louder. Right? You're not listening. Now, 00:29:08.750 --> 00:29:10.569 maybe there's a lot of noise, and you need to 00:29:10.569 --> 00:29:13.190 raise your voice so you make sure they hear you. 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:16.980 Right? Or if they are in danger, they're running, 00:29:17.220 --> 00:29:19.000 they don't see the car coming, they're chasing 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:23.819 a ball, and you give them a loud warning. That's 00:29:23.819 --> 00:29:26.799 all permissible. What's not permissible is for 00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:30.960 our kids to ignore our word and then for us to 00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:34.640 become annoyed and start hollering. If they do 00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:39.559 not respond when you speak, parents, you need 00:29:39.559 --> 00:29:43.920 to get up and discipline them. Proverbs 29 -15 00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:47.779 says, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child 00:29:47.779 --> 00:29:51.759 left to himself brings shame to his mother. It 00:29:51.759 --> 00:29:55.680 is both the rod and rebuke that bring wisdom. 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:59.619 We must make sure that our children heard and 00:29:59.619 --> 00:30:04.680 understood the instruction. Parents, we think, 00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:08.740 we often look at our children and we think they 00:30:08.740 --> 00:30:12.170 made the obvious leap. They filled in the details. 00:30:14.210 --> 00:30:16.670 When your children are small, not so. I'll even 00:30:16.670 --> 00:30:19.930 argue as they get older what is so obvious to 00:30:19.930 --> 00:30:24.349 us. Why don't they understand these things? Because 00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:26.150 their brain hasn't developed that. They haven't 00:30:26.150 --> 00:30:29.069 gotten that wisdom or understanding or had it 00:30:29.069 --> 00:30:32.549 lovingly repeated to them until they get it. 00:30:33.589 --> 00:30:35.890 Right? Have you ever been a parent where you 00:30:35.890 --> 00:30:38.089 talk to your child and you've said something 00:30:38.089 --> 00:30:42.869 to them? Many, many, many times. And then one 00:30:42.869 --> 00:30:45.009 day they come home from being somewhere else 00:30:45.009 --> 00:30:47.029 where they heard it from someone else and they 00:30:47.029 --> 00:30:49.569 say it to you like, oh man, I totally understand 00:30:49.569 --> 00:30:52.269 you, oh man. And you're like, I've told you that 00:30:52.269 --> 00:30:57.509 so many times I can't even count. Right? Right? 00:30:58.849 --> 00:31:02.190 The reality is we're all kind of hard headed. 00:31:03.029 --> 00:31:05.650 Our sinful natures must be changed. Romans 12 00:31:05.650 --> 00:31:09.960 tells us we need our minds renewed. Right, we 00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:14.240 need the spirit of God and yet We're like, why 00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:16.119 don't they understand why they don't get it? 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:19.960 Why why do I have to keep doing this? God doesn't 00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:22.460 treat you with the same harshness that we often 00:31:22.460 --> 00:31:30.579 treat our children You know, it's important that 00:31:30.579 --> 00:31:34.440 we recognize that it isn't just talking or rebuking 00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:36.859 but it does include the rod of discipline as 00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:41.099 well Either one, either spanking the right of 00:31:41.099 --> 00:31:47.000 discipline or talking in isolation is a dereliction 00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:54.579 of duty and harmful to our children. If our children 00:31:54.579 --> 00:31:57.259 are only trained to respond after repeated calls 00:31:57.259 --> 00:32:00.880 or countdowns, then we are teaching them that 00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:03.759 we don't mean what we say and we are catechizing 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:08.500 them that God is the same way. Too often we raise 00:32:08.500 --> 00:32:11.779 our voice yelling at them and then they sometimes 00:32:11.779 --> 00:32:16.779 believe that we mean what we say Too often, right? 00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:21.460 We are teaching them to tune out God's Word unless 00:32:21.460 --> 00:32:25.140 it is being shouted to us by hard circumstances 00:32:25.140 --> 00:32:28.380 Again for every one of us in the room Lord have 00:32:28.380 --> 00:32:35.079 mercy Parents can fall into the trap of tolerating 00:32:35.079 --> 00:32:38.779 sin in their children Can you imagine this? For 00:32:38.779 --> 00:32:45.240 their own pleasures and enjoyment. Parents, we 00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:50.359 often don't want to pause our enjoyment of our 00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:54.640 conversation or activities to our children's 00:32:54.640 --> 00:33:02.180 demise and destruction. Fathers, mothers, stop 00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:06.519 and love your children and discipline them. We 00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:10.019 know that Psalm 127 and 128 tell us that children 00:33:10.019 --> 00:33:13.660 are a blessing from the Lord, and yet our children's 00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:18.799 sinful desires cause them to resist us. News 00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:22.539 flash, we should expect opposition from our children. 00:33:23.740 --> 00:33:27.000 As you know, admonishment means both instruction 00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:30.119 and discipline, and we should respond this way 00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:38.029 as Galatians 6 -1 tells us, By a trespass, you 00:33:38.029 --> 00:33:41.210 who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit 00:33:41.210 --> 00:33:45.230 of gentleness, considering yourself lest you 00:33:45.230 --> 00:33:48.869 also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and 00:33:48.869 --> 00:33:51.890 so fulfill the law of Christ. You're saying, 00:33:52.049 --> 00:33:54.569 so if we reread this and say, if any child is 00:33:54.569 --> 00:33:58.410 overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, 00:33:58.529 --> 00:34:00.809 that's your parents, restore such a one in the 00:34:00.809 --> 00:34:03.109 spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest 00:34:03.109 --> 00:34:06.220 you also be tempted. Tempted for what? If you 00:34:06.220 --> 00:34:09.719 ask what on that, you're not being honest with 00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:13.559 yourself. You're tempted to react out of anger 00:34:13.559 --> 00:34:19.340 and impatience and aggravation instead of gentleness. 00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:25.699 When our children are overtaken by a trespass, 00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:27.860 we are to restore them knowing that we could 00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:31.219 fall into temptation ourselves. Saints of God, 00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:36.420 this is real important right here. Don't say 00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:41.000 Listen, I know I'm a sinner. I know they're sinners 00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:45.579 God's got this because he's made a promise Saints 00:34:45.579 --> 00:34:49.000 of God do not presume upon God's mercy and grace 00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:53.739 when we know better and Do not restrain our children 00:34:53.739 --> 00:35:00.119 Both parents and children cannot be dominated 00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:04.869 by our emotions We need to learn how to do our 00:35:04.869 --> 00:35:10.389 duty even when we don't feel like it. Love and 00:35:10.389 --> 00:35:14.269 fear of the Lord is the goal. That is love of 00:35:14.269 --> 00:35:19.630 God. Love and fear of God is our goal. Do not 00:35:19.630 --> 00:35:22.789 think. Do not fall into the idea that spanking 00:35:22.789 --> 00:35:29.489 is not necessary. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. Do 00:35:29.489 --> 00:35:31.650 not withhold correction from a child, for if 00:35:31.650 --> 00:35:35.690 you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You 00:35:35.690 --> 00:35:38.090 shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul 00:35:38.090 --> 00:35:44.090 from hell. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares the 00:35:44.090 --> 00:35:46.630 rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines 00:35:46.630 --> 00:35:49.750 him promptly. That's important, timeliness, promptly. 00:35:50.730 --> 00:35:54.260 And again, you gotta understand this. Right and 00:35:54.260 --> 00:35:56.579 and I'm sorry if today takes a little longer, 00:35:56.599 --> 00:35:59.320 but I'm trying to to bear with you and teach 00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:03.699 you God's word on this, okay? Sometimes you got 00:36:03.699 --> 00:36:06.719 to realize okay a two -year -old a three -year 00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:09.260 -old four -year -old They don't have the capacity. 00:36:09.260 --> 00:36:12.039 You can't say well just wait to it to a three 00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:13.460 -year -old Just wait till your dad gets home. 00:36:13.460 --> 00:36:16.400 No mama's you can't do that I'm not saying dad 00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:18.940 can't call on the phone and give some admonition 00:36:18.940 --> 00:36:20.579 there, but you're gonna need to discipline some 00:36:20.579 --> 00:36:24.119 of that They don't have the capacity to link 00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:27.260 those two is too long. They get older, there's 00:36:27.260 --> 00:36:32.559 some opportunity for that to be sure. But remember 00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:35.800 the frame of your children. Proverbs 22, 15, 00:36:36.019 --> 00:36:37.820 foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:40.880 The rod of correction will drive it far from 00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:44.760 him. We all want to see our children delivered 00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:48.739 from hell. So we need to understand how to exercise 00:36:48.739 --> 00:36:52.699 the rod of God. the rod of correction, well. 00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:58.239 So when your child disobeys, I've got here five 00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:01.260 points here, and again, I sent them to you before, 00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:04.500 but five things to do, steps to biblical discipline. 00:37:05.860 --> 00:37:10.739 Number one, identify sin, stop and get involved. 00:37:11.420 --> 00:37:16.679 Call, or if necessary, go get the child. It's 00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:20.090 gonna be tiresome. Right? The hardest thing is 00:37:20.090 --> 00:37:22.670 to stay faithful on this. And you're like, I 00:37:22.670 --> 00:37:25.230 keep doing this and doing this, and they're not 00:37:25.230 --> 00:37:28.510 responding. Stick to it. Stick to it. Stick to 00:37:28.510 --> 00:37:33.110 it. In love and patient and long suffering. Second, 00:37:33.949 --> 00:37:37.429 tell them when you get this, this rebuke, you 00:37:37.429 --> 00:37:39.730 need to tell them how they have broken God's 00:37:39.730 --> 00:37:44.510 law. A lot of times we say, we get focused on 00:37:44.510 --> 00:37:49.170 the wrong stuff. Instead of saying, God says 00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:53.250 you obey your parents or or God says you don't 00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:56.429 Strike another person or God said we say you 00:37:56.429 --> 00:37:59.409 were being mean you weren't being nice all that's 00:37:59.409 --> 00:38:05.230 irrelevant to the main thing Dr. Gary North in 00:38:05.230 --> 00:38:11.610 his book on biblical justice says That the first 00:38:11.610 --> 00:38:16.550 victim in any crime or offense is God himself 00:38:16.860 --> 00:38:21.579 And we cannot be reconciled to one another unless 00:38:21.579 --> 00:38:25.760 that person, that offendee of God is reconciled 00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:28.440 to God first. That has to be our first focus, 00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:33.719 which means as adults we have to lay aside the 00:38:33.719 --> 00:38:35.320 fact that our children may have sinned against 00:38:35.320 --> 00:38:37.639 us so that they can be reconciled to God. Be 00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:44.599 like Christ, that's what Christ did. Number three, 00:38:44.599 --> 00:38:48.239 we need to chastise our children. That is, spank 00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:51.420 the child. Now, when we spank, it has to be measured 00:38:51.420 --> 00:38:55.599 and planned, measured and planned, which means, 00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:57.260 parents, you have to think about things ahead 00:38:57.260 --> 00:39:01.039 of time. This sort of category requires this, 00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:05.480 and this sort of offense requires that. Because 00:39:05.480 --> 00:39:07.980 if you try to plan it when you're full of anger, 00:39:08.739 --> 00:39:11.599 when you're bothered at the situation, you will 00:39:11.599 --> 00:39:18.820 sin. Now, willful... Disobedience requires, again, 00:39:18.940 --> 00:39:22.320 a measured spanking. You should have a predetermined 00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:26.280 SWOT level and intensity. And of course, these 00:39:26.280 --> 00:39:29.460 will change over time and should diminish in 00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:34.420 regularity over time. My general recommendation 00:39:34.420 --> 00:39:37.380 is when they're small, start with one. Sometimes 00:39:37.380 --> 00:39:39.420 things will be two, but it might be one several 00:39:39.420 --> 00:39:42.639 times over the course of the day. Different sins, 00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:48.000 different times, looking at their frame. You 00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:51.400 see, what we are trying to do is teach them that 00:39:51.400 --> 00:39:56.420 sin causes pain and ultimately death. We're not 00:39:56.420 --> 00:40:00.860 trying to damage our children. We're rather trying 00:40:00.860 --> 00:40:03.559 to teach them the principle. And you want them 00:40:03.559 --> 00:40:07.159 to get this early. Stay faithful in this early. 00:40:08.119 --> 00:40:11.719 Number four, pray with your child for forgiveness 00:40:11.719 --> 00:40:15.300 to God and then go and seek forgiveness from 00:40:15.300 --> 00:40:18.289 those that they have sinned against. or in front 00:40:18.289 --> 00:40:22.690 of. I want to mention something. Part of this 00:40:22.690 --> 00:40:25.329 is when you go and get your child, if at all 00:40:25.329 --> 00:40:27.510 possible, take them out of the room or out of 00:40:27.510 --> 00:40:31.309 the space or in privacy. Deal with those there. 00:40:31.329 --> 00:40:33.769 It's not there to embarrass them. It's not about 00:40:33.769 --> 00:40:36.469 embarrassment. It's about sinning against God. 00:40:38.909 --> 00:40:41.969 But you want to pray with them. And finally, 00:40:42.900 --> 00:40:46.219 This is one that I find that most parents struggle 00:40:46.219 --> 00:40:48.239 with, and most of the time they don't even recognize. 00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:52.360 Number five is to restore the child to full fellowship. 00:40:53.039 --> 00:40:55.719 So what I'm saying is, let's say they're misbehaving 00:40:55.719 --> 00:40:58.139 at the table. You send them away. You go and 00:40:58.139 --> 00:40:59.800 deal with them. Don't keep them away from the 00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:04.539 table. They don't lose the meal. If they're repented, 00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:08.420 restore them back to full fellowship. That is 00:41:08.420 --> 00:41:11.960 what God does to you every single time. You confess. 00:41:12.230 --> 00:41:16.989 your sins. And Jesus is faithful to forgive. 00:41:18.230 --> 00:41:20.869 And God restores us back to full fellowship. 00:41:21.789 --> 00:41:24.769 You need to do that. Teach your children. The 00:41:24.769 --> 00:41:27.650 joyous thing. Maybe they're playing a game. Yeah, 00:41:27.710 --> 00:41:30.269 you send them away. You might have to take a 00:41:30.269 --> 00:41:32.409 minute to compose yourself. Then you go and you 00:41:32.409 --> 00:41:34.829 deal with it. And then you come back. You know, 00:41:34.969 --> 00:41:37.329 this is going to be a huge inconvenience to your 00:41:37.329 --> 00:41:41.889 personal time and objectives. What does it profit 00:41:41.889 --> 00:41:44.829 a man to gain the whole world, to get all your 00:41:44.829 --> 00:41:51.369 objectives done, and your children and your wife, 00:41:51.429 --> 00:41:56.570 your household loses their soul? Be inconvenienced 00:41:56.570 --> 00:42:00.250 so that the glory of God may be found in your 00:42:00.250 --> 00:42:05.090 children. Restore them to full fellowship. Just 00:42:05.090 --> 00:42:08.940 a few more things. It's important that parents 00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:12.360 realize that the heart's disposition is as important 00:42:12.360 --> 00:42:16.860 as outward obedience. What do I mean by that? 00:42:17.659 --> 00:42:20.400 We must realize that the attitude in which our 00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:23.500 children are obeying is as important as them 00:42:23.500 --> 00:42:28.300 actually obeying. So if our children obey with 00:42:28.300 --> 00:42:32.019 their shoulders slumped, pouting, you got to 00:42:32.019 --> 00:42:35.019 deal with that. They put themselves on the floor. 00:42:35.019 --> 00:42:36.820 You got to deal with that. Yeah, maybe they get 00:42:36.820 --> 00:42:39.039 it You say go obey after they throw themselves 00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:42.420 on the floor. They go and they're all just emotionally 00:42:42.420 --> 00:42:46.780 You know bound up wound up Their hearts not in 00:42:46.780 --> 00:42:50.880 it You have to stop you need to chastise that 00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:54.599 again in love and full restoration Have expectation. 00:42:54.599 --> 00:43:00.619 Maybe you need to remind them Okay, a surly heart 00:43:00.619 --> 00:43:04.739 that's that's emotionalism It's emotionally driven. 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:10.519 It is just as serious a sin as one who openly 00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:14.539 rebels. Our world is full of lots of people that 00:43:14.539 --> 00:43:17.480 on the outside look great, at least for a while. 00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:22.559 But on the inside, there's death or whitewashed 00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:28.340 tombs. Something else here for us to think about. 00:43:28.420 --> 00:43:31.380 This starts when they're small, but this gains 00:43:31.380 --> 00:43:36.039 momentum over time, right? Careless obedience 00:43:36.039 --> 00:43:38.539 is a sin against God. So now we're moving from 00:43:38.539 --> 00:43:42.239 real small, I'd say, to a little bit older. Careless 00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:46.639 obedience is a sin against God. Actually, parents, 00:43:46.739 --> 00:43:48.199 we probably don't want to think about that too 00:43:48.199 --> 00:43:51.860 much as it relates to ourselves. Are we sloppy 00:43:51.860 --> 00:43:56.750 in our obedience to God? Don't permit your children 00:43:56.750 --> 00:44:00.690 to be sloppy in their obedience or careless. 00:44:01.869 --> 00:44:04.809 Things like you set up a rhythm of you come in 00:44:04.809 --> 00:44:08.469 the house, where do your things go? You have 00:44:08.469 --> 00:44:11.670 a place for them, I imagine. How often have you 00:44:11.670 --> 00:44:14.829 seen your kids walk in the door and it's just 00:44:14.829 --> 00:44:17.369 everywhere? Everybody in the room has been that 00:44:17.369 --> 00:44:22.070 way, right? Careless obedience is an offense 00:44:22.070 --> 00:44:25.130 to God. Why are you to do these things to honor 00:44:25.130 --> 00:44:28.429 God to show self -rule as you're growing older 00:44:28.429 --> 00:44:33.429 to show that you're mature? So I want you to 00:44:33.429 --> 00:44:38.949 to think about that finally Sometimes we as judges 00:44:38.949 --> 00:44:41.389 in our households we come into a space because 00:44:41.389 --> 00:44:45.610 we hear the noise and We think we know what's 00:44:45.610 --> 00:44:50.869 going on as your kids get older Ask them questions 00:44:50.869 --> 00:44:54.349 ask for eyewitnesses Don't come in presuming. 00:44:54.369 --> 00:44:57.309 I am grateful as my children got older They were 00:44:57.309 --> 00:44:59.389 not afraid to come to me and say dad you have 00:44:59.389 --> 00:45:01.630 this wrong I know you think it's this over here, 00:45:01.630 --> 00:45:06.389 but that's not what was going on Don't come in 00:45:06.389 --> 00:45:09.050 presuming that you you are God you understand 00:45:09.050 --> 00:45:10.429 the motives of the heart and everything that 00:45:10.429 --> 00:45:12.449 went down in a place You couldn't even see what 00:45:12.449 --> 00:45:18.369 was happening Listen to your children we must 00:45:18.369 --> 00:45:21.989 either be a witness to the sin or it be established 00:45:21.989 --> 00:45:26.289 by two or three witnesses. Be careful, children. 00:45:27.329 --> 00:45:31.050 Don't lie about what your sibling, your brother 00:45:31.050 --> 00:45:34.789 or sister did to you. God has seen it. And parents, 00:45:34.809 --> 00:45:39.409 we can't always sort it out. Two or three witnesses 00:45:39.409 --> 00:45:43.389 or your observation, deal with it. You can give 00:45:43.389 --> 00:45:48.909 a warning, but I would admonish you not to bring 00:45:49.570 --> 00:45:52.250 Chastisement, bring the rod when you don't know. 00:45:54.730 --> 00:45:59.289 Our parenting goals are to see our children mature 00:45:59.289 --> 00:46:02.110 through all three stages of priest, king, and 00:46:02.110 --> 00:46:05.329 prophet. This means that Christian children are 00:46:05.329 --> 00:46:07.909 to be taught to work, to deny ease. Children 00:46:07.909 --> 00:46:11.289 must learn that strength and developing ability 00:46:11.289 --> 00:46:16.250 and work is essential for our joyful contentment 00:46:16.250 --> 00:46:19.980 and happiness. One more time, children must learn 00:46:19.980 --> 00:46:23.880 that strength, developing ability and work is 00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:27.840 essential for our joyful contentment and happiness. 00:46:29.420 --> 00:46:34.179 They are not to be taught that self -worship 00:46:34.179 --> 00:46:39.059 is okay and that the pursuit of happiness is 00:46:39.059 --> 00:46:42.219 the goal of life. Remember, seek ye first the 00:46:42.219 --> 00:46:44.699 kingdom of God. The things you're supposed to 00:46:44.699 --> 00:46:50.110 be doing are what bring us blessing. Finally, 00:46:50.170 --> 00:46:52.809 there's a common heresy that raises its ugly 00:46:52.809 --> 00:46:56.090 head from time to time. It is assuming, our parents, 00:46:56.090 --> 00:46:58.969 are you listening? It is assuming that the church 00:46:58.969 --> 00:47:03.150 is not necessary for child rearing. As you know, 00:47:03.929 --> 00:47:06.329 the church here takes a vow to assist the parents 00:47:06.329 --> 00:47:09.829 in their calling at baptism. And by God's design, 00:47:09.849 --> 00:47:14.690 we need each other more importantly. We need 00:47:14.690 --> 00:47:18.789 each other. Most importantly, in the spirit in 00:47:18.789 --> 00:47:24.329 the Lord's day. Word and sacrament are unique 00:47:24.329 --> 00:47:28.389 to the church. We must remember that the family 00:47:28.389 --> 00:47:32.130 is an institution that needs to be redeemed and 00:47:32.130 --> 00:47:35.590 then it can be a blessing to the world, to the 00:47:35.590 --> 00:47:40.730 glory of God. All this sometimes can seem overwhelming. 00:47:41.269 --> 00:47:44.510 Faithful parenting, God honoring parenting can 00:47:44.510 --> 00:47:47.320 seem overwhelming. Let us remember the words 00:47:47.320 --> 00:47:50.000 of encouragement we have in 2 Corinthians chapter 00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:55.179 9. And God is able to make all grace abound toward 00:47:55.179 --> 00:47:59.500 you, that you always having all sufficiency in 00:47:59.500 --> 00:48:03.340 all things may have an abundance for every good 00:48:03.340 --> 00:48:08.739 work. That sufficiency in all things includes 00:48:08.739 --> 00:48:13.400 parenting. It is God's grace abounding in you. 00:48:14.250 --> 00:48:19.250 that you will have all this sufficiency. And 00:48:19.250 --> 00:48:21.190 you're gonna have an abundance in every good 00:48:21.190 --> 00:48:24.369 work because of His grace. Don't be discouraged. 00:48:25.190 --> 00:48:26.969 If you realize you didn't get it right or you 00:48:26.969 --> 00:48:28.449 haven't been doing it right or you need to step 00:48:28.449 --> 00:48:31.650 it up, confess to God, accept His forgiveness, 00:48:31.969 --> 00:48:34.730 rejoice in it, and then know that it's grace. 00:48:35.070 --> 00:48:38.929 Listen, when you had just one child, When you 00:48:38.929 --> 00:48:41.369 had the second one, you wondered as the second 00:48:41.369 --> 00:48:44.010 one is approaching, how you could possibly, you 00:48:44.010 --> 00:48:46.070 love that first one so much, how could you possibly 00:48:46.070 --> 00:48:48.889 love the next one? Right? Because all my love, 00:48:48.989 --> 00:48:51.510 it's all the love I have. And then when you get 00:48:51.510 --> 00:48:54.050 the second one and you hold them up, you go, 00:48:54.190 --> 00:48:59.889 wow, I have more love. Right? It is more grace 00:48:59.889 --> 00:49:02.909 that God gives you. If you have 10 children, 00:49:02.949 --> 00:49:05.750 God gives you grace for 10 children. If you have 00:49:05.750 --> 00:49:09.789 one child, God gives you grace. for one child 00:49:09.789 --> 00:49:18.449 relax don't be anxious apart from God's sovereign 00:49:18.449 --> 00:49:24.650 mercy you cannot succeed so pray trust God and 00:49:24.650 --> 00:49:28.829 do good set an example by word indeed that you 00:49:28.829 --> 00:49:33.750 are in fact under submission to God how do you 00:49:33.750 --> 00:49:39.050 respond to sin When you do sin seek restoration 00:49:39.050 --> 00:49:43.829 Be willing to learn and grow Apply God's word 00:49:43.829 --> 00:49:48.170 and be available to your children as God is present 00:49:48.170 --> 00:49:53.030 with us near us And he hears us even in our weaknesses 00:49:53.030 --> 00:49:56.769 Let us as godly fathers and mothers provide a 00:49:56.769 --> 00:50:00.869 home centered in conforming to Christ Jesus That 00:50:00.869 --> 00:50:06.820 our real parenting authority provides our children 00:50:06.820 --> 00:50:10.920 boldness to our throne of grace that they may 00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:14.920 obtain mercy and find help in the time of need. 00:50:15.539 --> 00:50:20.760 Let us pray. Heavenly Father, please be gracious 00:50:20.760 --> 00:50:24.639 to us to send your spirit upon us that we may 00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:27.239 truly and faithfully love and obey your word, 00:50:27.460 --> 00:50:29.519 especially in bringing up our children in the 00:50:29.519 --> 00:50:32.360 fear and admonition of you. Grant that we may 00:50:32.360 --> 00:50:35.420 teach our children to hate sin, to forgive each 00:50:35.420 --> 00:50:37.900 other as you have forgiven us because of the 00:50:37.900 --> 00:50:40.840 work of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. By 00:50:40.840 --> 00:50:44.320 your grace, bestow upon us the fortitude to joyfully 00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:47.019 lay down our lives for our children. Help us 00:50:47.019 --> 00:50:49.199 to humbly lead our children according to your 00:50:49.199 --> 00:50:52.059 word, for we know that their salvation belongs 00:50:52.059 --> 00:50:55.119 to you. Be gracious to our children and keep 00:50:55.119 --> 00:50:58.480 them. Please restore our children who have seemingly 00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:01.719 forsaken you. We ask all these things for the 00:51:01.719 --> 00:51:04.460 sake of your son, Jesus, who reigns with you 00:51:04.460 --> 00:51:07.000 in the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.