We are continuing, this is the second sermon
on parenting. Last week we did study Deuteronomy
6, we'll reference that here in just a moment.
What we've been working on all summer is the
Christian foundations, God's created order, male
and female, how that leads to marriage for God's
glory and the benefit of the world, and a whole
host of things. As we work through marriage,
part of marriage is to be fruitful and multiply
and to raise up godly children. So we've got
one more sermon after this to kind of round this
out. But let us now go before the Lord today
and ask for his blessing. O Lord our God bless
us in your service and make us strong in our
family life, especially with the gift of children
which you graciously bestow upon us. Strengthen
us that we might serve you acceptably that we
might do your will here upon earth Grant us by
your spirit that the words of my mouth and the
meditations of all our hearts be pleasing your
sight Oh God for the sake of your son Jesus amen
As you often have noticed I generally preach
a whole passage and draw out God's truth. Today
is a little more thematic, right? We're parenting
in the early years, and so we have one starting
or one launching verse that brings us into that,
and then of course we'll touch in on lots of
scriptures along the way. Our verse today is
from Proverbs 19, 18. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing
your son while there is hope, and do not set
your heart. on His destruction. These are the
words of Almighty God. Receive them in your hearts.
The theologian and father of ten, Peter Lightheart
says this, when Christians look for help with
parenting, they often look for some kind of magic
bullet, some kind of potion that will make their
kids obedient, some technique that will solve
everything and solve it fairly and effortlessly.
He now says this, there are no special tricks.
We become good parents to the extent that we
become more like our Father who has revealed
Himself to us in Jesus. And we become more like
Jesus by following and keeping in step with the
Spirit of Jesus. As we go through our study here
today, there are four things that I want you
to take from this. And these are those things.
What is the destination in parenting? What is
the destination in parenting? That is the goal.
Now, as we talk about this, today we're talking
about the early years, right? And I'm gonna explain
what I mean by that just shortly. You'll say,
but you didn't cover it all. Well, that's because
we're doing this in portions. All right. Number
two, there is life in the rod of discipline.
There is life in the rod of discipline. Thirdly,
timeliness of discipline. Timeliness of discipline.
And then finally, the steps of biblical discipline,
the steps of biblical discipline. And one of
the things, if you've noticed, I was a little
late last night in getting out the supporting
scriptures, these three points, the charge. But
yesterday or last night's notice in the realm
that gives you all that information, I included
a detailed covering of the points I'm going to
make. regarding the steps of biblical discipline
so you can review those later and maybe even
keep them in a prominent place at your house
to remind yourself of them. Now according to
the Bible, our children are saints. They are
given to us to turn around and be given to the
Lord, given in baptism, and then return to their
parents to be raised up in the fear and admonition
of the Lord. Last week, We heard God's instruction
from Deuteronomy chapter 6 that parents are to
teach God's law diligently, teaching in word
and deed to our children to bind God's law on
their hand. Remember, we talked about that. And
thus, guiding them and restraining them in all
that they have authority over. And they do that
all for the glory of God. Finally, we were admonished.
that God's word is to be the lens for understanding
the world and everything in it. I'm gonna pause
right here and say this. Children, remember what
I said to you last week. I want you to pay attention,
especially if you're eight years old or older,
really pay attention. I want you to hear what
your parents are being instructed in and you
will too also learn, you will learn children
what your parents are aiming for and so how you
can work. with them. You'll begin to understand
just a little bit about what your parents are
doing. God relates to us using covenants. That's
a big word in some ways. A covenant is simply
this. It is a God -structured and imposed relationship
with corresponding blessings and curses. God
has come into our life. He's interrupted us.
He said, I am your God. He's called you out of
your pagan, your unbelieving. Place said you're
mine You're baptized God's name is placed upon
you and so everything else now on in your life
is corresponding to that baptism You're his and
all you do Is in relationship to God's promises
to you, but you know what those promises have?
Blessings I would have put your hands asked you
to put your hand up and say who wants the blessings
of God? I would hope everybody would raise their
hand, and in some cases, some of you would be
sticking both hands up. That's great. We love
the blessings of God. And we often don't spend
enough time looking at the curses that happen
when we don't follow God, when we walk away from
the covenant of God. Dearly beloved, by the grace
of God and His sovereign merciful providence,
We have been delivered from our sin by Jesus'
work on the cross. He sits on His throne of grace
interceding for us. Oh, what joy that is. What
a blessing that is for all of us. King Jesus,
as our high priest, sympathizes with us and our
weaknesses. Whereas Hebrews 4 tells us, He was
tempted in all points, as we are, and was without
sin. We're told that Jesus himself grew in wisdom
and stature and now is our priest, king, and
prophet. He's all those things. If we're to be
conformed to Christ, that is the pattern for
us all, whether you're a child or whether you're
an adult. We'll talk more about this priest,
king, prophet motif. I'm going to introduce it
a little bit here. as it relates to the early
years. But really, for all of us, even as adults,
this is the progression of life. We'll talk more
about that next week when we talk about training
up our older children. We are called, as Romans
13, 14 tells us, to be clothed with Christ Jesus,
making no provision for the lust of the flesh.
That is the sinful nature. As redeemed saints
of God, we are no longer in bondage to sin, and
yet the sinful nature still remains in us to
put away, to be put away, and for us to joyfully
obey God in all things. And every adult in the
room says amen and praise God. Parents, do not
be deceived. Every single one of your baptized
children are in God's covenant. And yet, they're
still sinners, needing the grace of God provided
for in the blood of Jesus. God has called every
parent in here to parenthood. You can't say,
all right, I have a child, but I don't think
I'm called to parenthood. No. If God has given
you children, you are called to parenthood. As
you already know, God's ordinary means of sanctification
is other people. I've said that to you many times,
right? Because what brings out your selfishness?
What brings out your irritation, your self -preservation,
your own desires? It's when somebody else in
your life, and again I'll point out, by God's
design. gets in your life and creates what you
think is a hardship or you don't like. And what
flows up out of us? Our sin. So, moms, dads,
don't be shocked when your children do those
things. And yes, you have to guard yourself so
that you are not being a bad teacher in this
way. We are confronted by our own sinful natures
by virtue of the grace of God Providing us a
household of sinners wait what? God has given
us he's provided us a household of sinners in
whom we are responsible for We're gonna beg God
and instruct our children as God commanded we
need the whole counsel of God's Word. God not
only gives us His life -giving laws, commands,
and statutes, but here's something else He gives
us. By virtue of the history that we read about,
the stories that we read about, that God has
provided for us in His holy Word, we get case
study after case study of why only God's words
are the words of life. God's word is not only
an owner's manual, right, but it is also a map.
Dearly beloved, mankind, every person, marriage
and parenting is for the glory of God and the
benefit of the world. As parents, it is good
not only to know certain rules, but to have guidance.
from all of God's Word so that we are able to
make God -pleasing disciples. And that is part
of the final destination of parenting. That is
to say, what's the outcome that we're looking
for? How do we use God's Word to understand and
move forward? The destination of parenting is
right here. Here's the destination. Children.
grandchildren who joyfully worship God in all
areas of life. Not just when they come to church
on Sunday, not just when you do your family devotions,
not just when they're doing the spiritual things
that you think are service to others, but in
every aspect of their life. Is that not what
you desire? To see your children joyfully serving
the Lord, whether it's at their job, in their
households, in their marriages. how they treat
their neighbors, how they even treat the dog.
All these things matter. We want our children
taking dominion, being fruitful, and multiplying
in all things to the glory of God and the benefit
of the world. God's model to get there is the
priest -king -prophet model. The case study of
this example of parenting is the children of
Israel. The priestly stage in the Bible is from
Exodus through Judges. And it is a stage full
of detailed instructions about everything. Just
like with small children, what do you need to
do? Don't touch that socket. Don't run in the
street. Don't do this. Wait. Do this over here.
It's very, very detailed. When God calls his
people out of the bondage of Egypt, what does
he do? He passes them through the waters of the
Red Sea. We're told in 1 Corinthians 10 that
that was their baptism. They pass through that
and then he comes out and says, okay, you need
to be the people of God and I'm going to give
you all these different things to do. He's going
to tell you then what not to do and he's going
to tell them what to do. in excruciatingly painful
details. Have you ever read those parts of scriptures,
mom and dads, with your children? And you're
like, why do we have to read about every single
tribe's gifts? Why do we have to do all that?
Why is it repeated again and again and again
and again and again? Isn't that parenting? Repeating.
Again and again and again. They were building
a place to worship God so they could become the
priest and the blessings to the world. And of
course, what did they do? They failed in all
this many ways. And ultimately, we know they
failed at their priestly duties and caused the
pagan nations to blaspheme God because of their
wickedness. Their calendar of life was centered
on the annual repetitions of God's law. That's
why I love the church calendar because it helps
us with this. But it wasn't just about God's
law, but it was mercy and justice and grace and
feasting to the glory of God and the benefit
of the world. That's what all these things were
for. The priestly stage of parenting is roughly
from infancy to age seven. need to know their
children's identity. We've talked about this
in many ways. We need to understand their frame
and their understanding and their status of having
remaining sin. And all of this requires the repetitions
of rules and consequences and how to do the good
things. The kingly stage. And there are some
transitioning stages, too. You gotta understand
that. So the kingly stage is primarily 11 to
15, but there's a transition. Different kids
mature at different rates. They have different
understandings. If you have more than one child,
you recognize that your children have different
personalities and respond to different things
in different ways. Some children come onto it
quick. Some children a little more, how shall
we say it, hard -headed. I had a couple of my
daughters, as you know, I have six daughters
and two sons, but I had a couple of my daughters
where I had to brush their hair, because they
were pretty ornery, would not sit still for their
mama doing it. Other ones were very cooperative
in that way. So this stage is a transition from
being told what to do at every point, to self
-rule, right? It's a kingly stage. They're moving
from simply being told what to do in every minutia
thing, every small thing, right? To self -rule
that garners more responsibility, that leads
to dominion and fruitfulness in a way that glorifies
God and benefits others. The pinnacle of child
rearing. is the life stage of the prophet, 15
to 18, and I would even argue goes beyond this.
But this stage is where men and women no longer
are simply ruling as kings in action, but are
then transferring wisdom, knowledge, grace, and
mercy, and the fear of the Lord to others, lifting
them up as they themselves diminish. If I could
use a high school analogy on this, think about
team sports, right? Usually there's upperclassmen
that are the captains. And part of what those
captains need to do, particularly as seniors,
is to do what? To take all their wisdom and all
the stuff they've learned and be able to transfer
it to others because they're moving on to another
stage. They're going to another place in life.
Again, I'm going to point out to you right now,
because we talked about this last week, and I'll
mention again, everybody, if you're older in
here, your kids are gone. Yes, but you take vows
to help those families every time a child's baptized,
right? Isn't that what we do? So even if you're
older and your kids are gone, you're here to
assist these families. But every one of us need
to understand this on the long -term part of
life. You got that priestly part where you have
to be told everything. You didn't know anything
about Christ. You have to be told everything,
everything, everything, again and again and again.
And then pretty soon you realize, man, and dads,
a lot of you are in this stage right now. I got
to be a king. I got to rule. I got to do this.
I have all this authority. And I got to do all
these things. Yes, that's right. And God gives
you all kinds of instructions. But you have to
move from simply knowing it to the wise application
of it. And then you're going to transfer. And
as you get older, older folks in the room, myself
included, this is part of how you parent older
children, is you become the prophet in their
life. Right? Not the king. You're not ruling
over them. No, they've gone and started their
own lives. Now, you're no longer ruling in their
lives. What you are doing is advising them. as
a friend of God to tell them the right things
to do, how to be a good king. You're not being
the king for them. And here's the thing, what
you need to be aiming for is you want to get
more and more and more out of their way. You're
still speaking to them, but you're moving out
of their way. You diminish so that they may be
raised up. now Just like seniors if there's a
couple seniors in here, okay, just like as your
older students guess what? Right. I'm not saying
don't regard your parents because now you're
older and you've got all this no no no look to
your older fathers Both your biological and those
in the church listen to them Wrestle with their
thoughts think about this when when King ray
of bone Solomon's King is raised up to the king.
He listens to his buddies, who are about 40 years
old, by the way, and he disregarded all the older
wise counsel. Sometimes we think those guys,
they're out of touch. They don't have any understanding,
these older guys. I know they made mistakes and
they had their day. Yeah, that's right, they're
not kings anymore. But they have lived, they
have wrestled with God, and just like Jacob's
blessing, when Jacob is wrestling with God and
he's holding on tight and he says, I'm not gonna
let go till you give me a blessing. What does
God do? He blesses him all right by putting his
hip out of socket. Why did he do that? Have you
ever pondered that? Well, there's a reason for
this. It's because God says, you know what? Your
kingly days are over. Your days of going and
doing the shepherding are over. Because now you
can't run and chase the sheep. What do you have
to do now? You have to step back and tell others
how to do it. And I've got to tell you, as a
dad sometimes, and I'm sure Jacob was this way,
he tells them what to do. They go out and do
it. He can see them, and they get farther away.
He's gripping, thinking, Lord, have mercy. He's
gripping, because I've told him things and they're,
oh, man. So this kind of gives us this pattern.
You may have noticed this pattern. It's likened
into the trivium in classical Christian education.
Christians need to see this pattern of scripture
and so apply it. The early stages of parenting
are centered around the hard patient repetitive
teaching Correcting and administering discipline
as our third as our theme verse says today from
Proverbs 19 Chasing your son while there's hope
and do not set your heart on his destruction
This reminds us This reminds us that there has
to be a timeliness to what we're doing. There's
a short time. Parents, I know when your kids
are small, it's difficult. And if you have been
neglectful either in ignorance or in practice,
okay, willful practice or ignorance, it's not
too late. I'll tell you, my wife and I, I'm trying
to assure you while I'm setting this all up,
my wife and I really didn't get the full understanding
of good parenting till Child number five. At
five, we started to really get a handle on it
and understand it to its fully. And then we had
to discipline ourselves to put it in practice.
And guess what? Some of the older ones took to
it more easily, and others didn't. Right? If
we neglect the word of God and do not chasten
teaching and administering the rod, we're failing
at binding the Word of God to our children in
a timely manner. That scripture says, while there's
hope, if we're not timely, we have by our own
disobedience set our heart on our child's destruction.
This does not deny the work of God in their life.
I'm not denying the gospel and God's sovereign
work. Our children are delivered by the work
of Christ alone, and yet God gives us the task
to bring them up in His nurture and admonition.
Again, you've heard me say at baptism many times,
conditions do not nullify grace. Grace enables
us to fulfill the conditions. And that's a work
of God himself through Christ Jesus. Children
need to know what God is like if they are to
imitate God. Our children need to grow in the
knowledge, wisdom, fear, and love of God. This
requires, as Psalm 103, beginning in verse 13
tells us, as a father pities his children, so
Yahweh pities those who fear him, for he knows
our frame. He remembers that we are dust. As
parents, we are to study God's Word and pray
and believe the promises of God so that we can
understand our children and where they are in
their varying stages or various stages of growing
towards Christian maturity, productivity, and
wisdom. They must be trained to submit to God.
and his authorities of which you are. If you
send your children to Sunday school or to a Christian
school or to a co -op, parents are delegating
your authority to those teachers. So they too
hold authority. Now it's authority that proceeds
from you as the parent. But they must be taught.
to submit to God and all his authorities. Children
must be taught that to disobey their father and
mother is first to disobey God. Your rules should
be centered around God's word. Parents, make
sure that you distinguish between rules for your
convenience, preferences, and dislikes in God's
law. I want to say that one more time. Parents,
make sure you distinguish between rules for your
convenience, preferences, and dislikes for God's
law. Now, I get that part of what we're doing
when we run our households is we are providing
some structure. God doesn't give us every little
detailed thing in there, and so some things are
gonna be set up just for running the household
well, right? And all kinds of things and if you've
talked to me or sat in my Sunday school classes
when I've taught on this You know, I learned
how to do all kinds of things and there's other
good resources other faithful men of God that
give you practical things on how to work stuff
out But but if if it's quiet if you're demanding
quiet from your kids Simply because you don't
want to hear the noise of God's covenant blessings
in your life. That's problem if you're irritated
because you stepped on a Lego and you bark out
at your kids over it, that's your convenience
that's being challenged, not right or wrong.
What's the solution? Well, how am I contributing?
What am I doing to help bring order so that they
love God, love His word, and you're considering
their frame? Do not be like the Pharisees who
added to the law for their benefit and glory.
And in doing so, Jesus said, bind heavy burdens
hard to bear and lay them on their disciples'
shoulders. Do not bind heavy burdens hard to
bear, laying them on your children's shoulders.
Our children must be taught to obey God's word.
This is how they learn to respond to God's word.
They must be taught to obey your word, to respond
to it. Okay? What I'm saying is, you should be
able to speak to your child, and then they should
do what you ask. Right? The right answer isn't
to get louder. Right? You're not listening. Now,
maybe there's a lot of noise, and you need to
raise your voice so you make sure they hear you.
Right? Or if they are in danger, they're running,
they don't see the car coming, they're chasing
a ball, and you give them a loud warning. That's
all permissible. What's not permissible is for
our kids to ignore our word and then for us to
become annoyed and start hollering. If they do
not respond when you speak, parents, you need
to get up and discipline them. Proverbs 29 -15
says, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child
left to himself brings shame to his mother. It
is both the rod and rebuke that bring wisdom.
We must make sure that our children heard and
understood the instruction. Parents, we think,
we often look at our children and we think they
made the obvious leap. They filled in the details.
When your children are small, not so. I'll even
argue as they get older what is so obvious to
us. Why don't they understand these things? Because
their brain hasn't developed that. They haven't
gotten that wisdom or understanding or had it
lovingly repeated to them until they get it.
Right? Have you ever been a parent where you
talk to your child and you've said something
to them? Many, many, many times. And then one
day they come home from being somewhere else
where they heard it from someone else and they
say it to you like, oh man, I totally understand
you, oh man. And you're like, I've told you that
so many times I can't even count. Right? Right?
The reality is we're all kind of hard headed.
Our sinful natures must be changed. Romans 12
tells us we need our minds renewed. Right, we
need the spirit of God and yet We're like, why
don't they understand why they don't get it?
Why why do I have to keep doing this? God doesn't
treat you with the same harshness that we often
treat our children You know, it's important that
we recognize that it isn't just talking or rebuking
but it does include the rod of discipline as
well Either one, either spanking the right of
discipline or talking in isolation is a dereliction
of duty and harmful to our children. If our children
are only trained to respond after repeated calls
or countdowns, then we are teaching them that
we don't mean what we say and we are catechizing
them that God is the same way. Too often we raise
our voice yelling at them and then they sometimes
believe that we mean what we say Too often, right?
We are teaching them to tune out God's Word unless
it is being shouted to us by hard circumstances
Again for every one of us in the room Lord have
mercy Parents can fall into the trap of tolerating
sin in their children Can you imagine this? For
their own pleasures and enjoyment. Parents, we
often don't want to pause our enjoyment of our
conversation or activities to our children's
demise and destruction. Fathers, mothers, stop
and love your children and discipline them. We
know that Psalm 127 and 128 tell us that children
are a blessing from the Lord, and yet our children's
sinful desires cause them to resist us. News
flash, we should expect opposition from our children.
As you know, admonishment means both instruction
and discipline, and we should respond this way
as Galatians 6 -1 tells us, By a trespass, you
who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit
of gentleness, considering yourself lest you
also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and
so fulfill the law of Christ. You're saying,
so if we reread this and say, if any child is
overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual,
that's your parents, restore such a one in the
spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest
you also be tempted. Tempted for what? If you
ask what on that, you're not being honest with
yourself. You're tempted to react out of anger
and impatience and aggravation instead of gentleness.
When our children are overtaken by a trespass,
we are to restore them knowing that we could
fall into temptation ourselves. Saints of God,
this is real important right here. Don't say
Listen, I know I'm a sinner. I know they're sinners
God's got this because he's made a promise Saints
of God do not presume upon God's mercy and grace
when we know better and Do not restrain our children
Both parents and children cannot be dominated
by our emotions We need to learn how to do our
duty even when we don't feel like it. Love and
fear of the Lord is the goal. That is love of
God. Love and fear of God is our goal. Do not
think. Do not fall into the idea that spanking
is not necessary. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. Do
not withhold correction from a child, for if
you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You
shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul
from hell. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares the
rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines
him promptly. That's important, timeliness, promptly.
And again, you gotta understand this. Right and
and I'm sorry if today takes a little longer,
but I'm trying to to bear with you and teach
you God's word on this, okay? Sometimes you got
to realize okay a two -year -old a three -year
-old four -year -old They don't have the capacity.
You can't say well just wait to it to a three
-year -old Just wait till your dad gets home.
No mama's you can't do that I'm not saying dad
can't call on the phone and give some admonition
there, but you're gonna need to discipline some
of that They don't have the capacity to link
those two is too long. They get older, there's
some opportunity for that to be sure. But remember
the frame of your children. Proverbs 22, 15,
foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.
The rod of correction will drive it far from
him. We all want to see our children delivered
from hell. So we need to understand how to exercise
the rod of God. the rod of correction, well.
So when your child disobeys, I've got here five
points here, and again, I sent them to you before,
but five things to do, steps to biblical discipline.
Number one, identify sin, stop and get involved.
Call, or if necessary, go get the child. It's
gonna be tiresome. Right? The hardest thing is
to stay faithful on this. And you're like, I
keep doing this and doing this, and they're not
responding. Stick to it. Stick to it. Stick to
it. In love and patient and long suffering. Second,
tell them when you get this, this rebuke, you
need to tell them how they have broken God's
law. A lot of times we say, we get focused on
the wrong stuff. Instead of saying, God says
you obey your parents or or God says you don't
Strike another person or God said we say you
were being mean you weren't being nice all that's
irrelevant to the main thing Dr. Gary North in
his book on biblical justice says That the first
victim in any crime or offense is God himself
And we cannot be reconciled to one another unless
that person, that offendee of God is reconciled
to God first. That has to be our first focus,
which means as adults we have to lay aside the
fact that our children may have sinned against
us so that they can be reconciled to God. Be
like Christ, that's what Christ did. Number three,
we need to chastise our children. That is, spank
the child. Now, when we spank, it has to be measured
and planned, measured and planned, which means,
parents, you have to think about things ahead
of time. This sort of category requires this,
and this sort of offense requires that. Because
if you try to plan it when you're full of anger,
when you're bothered at the situation, you will
sin. Now, willful... Disobedience requires, again,
a measured spanking. You should have a predetermined
SWOT level and intensity. And of course, these
will change over time and should diminish in
regularity over time. My general recommendation
is when they're small, start with one. Sometimes
things will be two, but it might be one several
times over the course of the day. Different sins,
different times, looking at their frame. You
see, what we are trying to do is teach them that
sin causes pain and ultimately death. We're not
trying to damage our children. We're rather trying
to teach them the principle. And you want them
to get this early. Stay faithful in this early.
Number four, pray with your child for forgiveness
to God and then go and seek forgiveness from
those that they have sinned against. or in front
of. I want to mention something. Part of this
is when you go and get your child, if at all
possible, take them out of the room or out of
the space or in privacy. Deal with those there.
It's not there to embarrass them. It's not about
embarrassment. It's about sinning against God.
But you want to pray with them. And finally,
This is one that I find that most parents struggle
with, and most of the time they don't even recognize.
Number five is to restore the child to full fellowship.
So what I'm saying is, let's say they're misbehaving
at the table. You send them away. You go and
deal with them. Don't keep them away from the
table. They don't lose the meal. If they're repented,
restore them back to full fellowship. That is
what God does to you every single time. You confess.
your sins. And Jesus is faithful to forgive.
And God restores us back to full fellowship.
You need to do that. Teach your children. The
joyous thing. Maybe they're playing a game. Yeah,
you send them away. You might have to take a
minute to compose yourself. Then you go and you
deal with it. And then you come back. You know,
this is going to be a huge inconvenience to your
personal time and objectives. What does it profit
a man to gain the whole world, to get all your
objectives done, and your children and your wife,
your household loses their soul? Be inconvenienced
so that the glory of God may be found in your
children. Restore them to full fellowship. Just
a few more things. It's important that parents
realize that the heart's disposition is as important
as outward obedience. What do I mean by that?
We must realize that the attitude in which our
children are obeying is as important as them
actually obeying. So if our children obey with
their shoulders slumped, pouting, you got to
deal with that. They put themselves on the floor.
You got to deal with that. Yeah, maybe they get
it You say go obey after they throw themselves
on the floor. They go and they're all just emotionally
You know bound up wound up Their hearts not in
it You have to stop you need to chastise that
again in love and full restoration Have expectation.
Maybe you need to remind them Okay, a surly heart
that's that's emotionalism It's emotionally driven.
It is just as serious a sin as one who openly
rebels. Our world is full of lots of people that
on the outside look great, at least for a while.
But on the inside, there's death or whitewashed
tombs. Something else here for us to think about.
This starts when they're small, but this gains
momentum over time, right? Careless obedience
is a sin against God. So now we're moving from
real small, I'd say, to a little bit older. Careless
obedience is a sin against God. Actually, parents,
we probably don't want to think about that too
much as it relates to ourselves. Are we sloppy
in our obedience to God? Don't permit your children
to be sloppy in their obedience or careless.
Things like you set up a rhythm of you come in
the house, where do your things go? You have
a place for them, I imagine. How often have you
seen your kids walk in the door and it's just
everywhere? Everybody in the room has been that
way, right? Careless obedience is an offense
to God. Why are you to do these things to honor
God to show self -rule as you're growing older
to show that you're mature? So I want you to
to think about that finally Sometimes we as judges
in our households we come into a space because
we hear the noise and We think we know what's
going on as your kids get older Ask them questions
ask for eyewitnesses Don't come in presuming.
I am grateful as my children got older They were
not afraid to come to me and say dad you have
this wrong I know you think it's this over here,
but that's not what was going on Don't come in
presuming that you you are God you understand
the motives of the heart and everything that
went down in a place You couldn't even see what
was happening Listen to your children we must
either be a witness to the sin or it be established
by two or three witnesses. Be careful, children.
Don't lie about what your sibling, your brother
or sister did to you. God has seen it. And parents,
we can't always sort it out. Two or three witnesses
or your observation, deal with it. You can give
a warning, but I would admonish you not to bring
Chastisement, bring the rod when you don't know.
Our parenting goals are to see our children mature
through all three stages of priest, king, and
prophet. This means that Christian children are
to be taught to work, to deny ease. Children
must learn that strength and developing ability
and work is essential for our joyful contentment
and happiness. One more time, children must learn
that strength, developing ability and work is
essential for our joyful contentment and happiness.
They are not to be taught that self -worship
is okay and that the pursuit of happiness is
the goal of life. Remember, seek ye first the
kingdom of God. The things you're supposed to
be doing are what bring us blessing. Finally,
there's a common heresy that raises its ugly
head from time to time. It is assuming, our parents,
are you listening? It is assuming that the church
is not necessary for child rearing. As you know,
the church here takes a vow to assist the parents
in their calling at baptism. And by God's design,
we need each other more importantly. We need
each other. Most importantly, in the spirit in
the Lord's day. Word and sacrament are unique
to the church. We must remember that the family
is an institution that needs to be redeemed and
then it can be a blessing to the world, to the
glory of God. All this sometimes can seem overwhelming.
Faithful parenting, God honoring parenting can
seem overwhelming. Let us remember the words
of encouragement we have in 2 Corinthians chapter
9. And God is able to make all grace abound toward
you, that you always having all sufficiency in
all things may have an abundance for every good
work. That sufficiency in all things includes
parenting. It is God's grace abounding in you.
that you will have all this sufficiency. And
you're gonna have an abundance in every good
work because of His grace. Don't be discouraged.
If you realize you didn't get it right or you
haven't been doing it right or you need to step
it up, confess to God, accept His forgiveness,
rejoice in it, and then know that it's grace.
Listen, when you had just one child, When you
had the second one, you wondered as the second
one is approaching, how you could possibly, you
love that first one so much, how could you possibly
love the next one? Right? Because all my love,
it's all the love I have. And then when you get
the second one and you hold them up, you go,
wow, I have more love. Right? It is more grace
that God gives you. If you have 10 children,
God gives you grace for 10 children. If you have
one child, God gives you grace. for one child
relax don't be anxious apart from God's sovereign
mercy you cannot succeed so pray trust God and
do good set an example by word indeed that you
are in fact under submission to God how do you
respond to sin When you do sin seek restoration
Be willing to learn and grow Apply God's word
and be available to your children as God is present
with us near us And he hears us even in our weaknesses
Let us as godly fathers and mothers provide a
home centered in conforming to Christ Jesus That
our real parenting authority provides our children
boldness to our throne of grace that they may
obtain mercy and find help in the time of need.
Let us pray. Heavenly Father, please be gracious
to us to send your spirit upon us that we may
truly and faithfully love and obey your word,
especially in bringing up our children in the
fear and admonition of you. Grant that we may
teach our children to hate sin, to forgive each
other as you have forgiven us because of the
work of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. By
your grace, bestow upon us the fortitude to joyfully
lay down our lives for our children. Help us
to humbly lead our children according to your
word, for we know that their salvation belongs
to you. Be gracious to our children and keep
them. Please restore our children who have seemingly
forsaken you. We ask all these things for the
sake of your son, Jesus, who reigns with you
in the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.