Our God and our Father, we thank you for sending
the Spirit to give us life and to empower us
for the call you have given us to carry your
words of life to the ends of the earth. Please
allow the words of my mouth and the meditations
of all our hearts to be acceptable in your sight.
O Lord, our rock and nearest kinsman and Redeemer,
the bridegroom, Jesus Christ, our risen Lord.
Amen. Excuse me. Our scripture reference today
begins with Colossians chapter 3 beginning in
verse 18. Wives, submit to your own husbands
as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives and do not be bitter towards them. Children,
obey your parents in all things for this is well
pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke
your children lest they become discouraged. Bond
servants, obey in all things your masters according
to the flesh, not with eye service, as men pleasers,
but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever
you do, do it heartedly as to the Lord and not
to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive
the reward of the inheritance. For you serve
the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be
repaid for what he has done. And there is no
partiality. These are the words of Almighty God.
Receive them in your hearts. So there are three
things, three lenses, three ideas I want us to
hear throughout our study concerning these things.
And just as a reminder, that we've been all summer
working through a series that's building one
on top of another. If you recall, we started
Psalm 37, trust God and do good. And we talked
about what trusting God and doing good is, right?
Standing in the place God has for you, stand
your post. and being fruitful in the fruit of
the Spirit. And then we've gone through and worked
that out farther and farther. And so now we've
come to this place where we've been discussing
marriage. We talked about God's plan for us.
The fact that when He created us, He created
us male and female. He gave us different origins
and orientations. That was last week. You want
to be thinking about these things. These things
are all connected together. And now we're talking
a little more in depth about marriage. We'll
go through marriage for several sermons and then
we'll pick up with child rearing and then our
work in the world. And this is why we have green
up, right? It's the season of growth in the church.
And so... We want to be growing in Christ in
the Lord. These are the three themes. The first
one is number one, the central theme of scripture
is marriage. The central theme of scripture is
marriage. And we'll explain that a little further
down the road here in our talk today. Marriage,
second, marriage is for the glory of God and
the good of the world. Marriage is for the glory
of God. the good of the world and Finally if
you printed this all for what I sent out yesterday.
I added two words to the last one so pay attention
Trust God and do good in submission to God's
order of things so of things I added Trust God
and do good in submission to God's order of things
Now as we begin this morning In my studies this
week, I've been reminded that my words are mere
meek shadows and explanations of the great love
of Jesus for you. Never lose track of the central
point in every sermon as the Epistle of Jude
declares, but you, beloved, building yourselves
up on your most holy faith. praying in the Holy
Spirit. Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking
for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ into eternal
life. Dearly beloved, love Jesus. Look to Jesus.
Follow Jesus. God the Father before the foundations
of this world had in mind to present a bride
for His Son. The second chapter of Genesis ends
with a marriage in the first Adam and his bride
Eve. The end of all of history culminates with
the marriage supper of the Lamb, Jesus' great
marriage feast with his bride, the church. God
has pursued the good of his son and has pursued
the good of his bride to his own glory. Jesus,
all through scripture, is the faithful husband
guarding and tending his bride, not because his
bride was attractive, good, or worthy, but because
he loved her. He pursued her, leaving heaven,
and took up the humble form of a man to sympathize
with her in every temptation, and yet lived and
served her. without sin. Jesus trusted God that
in the laying down of his life for the bride,
that the Father would resurrect him, which would
lead to the glorious deliverance of his bride
from the bondage of sin and death. In Jesus'
submission to the Father for his bride, We see
these results Ephesians 2 tells us this beginning
in verse 4 but God who was rich in mercy Because
of his great love with which he loved us Even
when we were dead and trespasses us made us alive
together with Christ by grace you've been saved
and Here's the key what I'm pointing to and raised
us up together and made us sit together in heavenly
places in Christ Jesus that in the ages to come,
He might show the exceeding riches of His grace
and His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Because
of the love of God manifested in Jesus' death
on the cross, we are made alive not only for
ourselves, but for Jesus. And we are now raised
up as His church and made to sit together with
Jesus in heavenly places. And so we have been
given authority. All authority has been given
to him and it has been delegated to us in this
world of his kingdom to do here on earth his
will as it is in heaven. And we do this until
all his enemies are put under his feet. In our
marriage, our marriages, your marriage, my marriage,
we image the marriage of Jesus and his bride.
Now, I want to just pause right here and say
something to you all. If you're not married,
perhaps you're still young and aspiring to marriage.
Perhaps you're widowed. Perhaps there are other
things in life. But if you're single, understand
as we go through these things on God's marriage
to us, through his son, Jesus Christ, and us
as his bride, the church, that all these things
have application to you even now. That you rest
in Jesus, that you stand with him, and he has
a delightful thing for you in service in his
kingdom through his church. Right now we turn
and look at Ephesians 5 continuing on and what
this picture looks like. It says in Ephesians
5 verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands
as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church,
and he is the savior of the body. Therefore,
just as the church is subject to Christ, so let
wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also
loved the church and gave himself up for her,
that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the
washing of the water of the word, that he might
present her to himself a glorious church not
having spot or wrinkle or any such thing. but
that she should be holy and without blemish.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as
their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself. We look around and we think, wait a
minute, my marriage is supposed to be a picture
of Christ in the church? And we think, who me?
Who us? My wife, my husband, sometimes we dreadfully
think, oh man, our marriage is an image of Christ
Jesus and His bride, the church. Well, maybe
I got the bride part down, the church thing,
sinful, rebellious, I got that part down, but
I don't know. As Christians, we are the image
of Christ and His bride. A very sermon of Christ
and His bride every day to the whole world. But
it is first to who? Each other and our marriages
as husbands and wives? What about that sermon
of Christ and His bride to your children? What
about to your fellow church members? What about
the whole community? in which you live. You know,
we often think that the spirit of our age is
recent in its development. We always think that
sin is novel, it's worse than it's ever been.
These are new tactics and devices by Satan. It
may have a new form, but as Ecclesiastes chapter
1 verse 9 tells us, that which has been is what
will be. That which is done is what will be done.
Here's the clue. And there is nothing new under
the sun. Now Satan takes old lies and like an
unscrupulous used car salesman, he cleans it,
he polishes it, he puts good -looking wheels
on it so you don't notice how ratty the tires
are. Right even puts it in the olden days. This
was a very common trick put sawdust in the transmission
So it'll just run okay for a little bit, but
all of this is a bad lie That the car is just
going to get a few blocks away or maybe to the
next town and then it'll break down The lies
of feminism male passivity and niceness are simply
providing the itching ears of what they want
to hear or what our eyes desire. All that's so
beautiful. I one time had a family member who
was super excited because he bought this beautiful
Mitsubishi spider car with no motor. Well, here's
the thing. He saw the beautiful car. He wanted
the car. He figured, well, I'll get a motor.
Sometimes we do that, right? We say, oh, she's
so beautiful. Oh, he's so great. It doesn't matter
that they're not a Christian. Nope. Go for Christians
only. Only Christians. That's what God's word
tells us. This lie that Satan has put out there
that all of life and everyone in it is here for
me my pleasure and Affirmation now of course
we've seen as of late now. This is real important
We think we're doing pretty good at managing
that lie by the way however as a culture we're
not And we need to be careful about how that
drags into our life Because what happens is,
when the realities of life, the hardships that
come to everyone, those that are following God
and those that aren't, just the normal challenges
of life, all of a sudden, we lose our minds.
I think we've all seen when people didn't get
their way politically, or they didn't get their
way in so many circumstances, maybe the grade
at a university. You see, we're not here for
ourselves. We're not here for our own pleasure
and affirmation. For more than a century, news
outlets, the internet, and apps have baited men
and women to come to believe that they are not
made in the image of God, created male and female,
and that we are defined, we are not defined,
by our God -given origin and orientation. In
other words, we have no connection or responsibility
to anything or anyone outside of what I think
is good for me and mine. This denial misses the
core of life. To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Now, of course, we've heard those lines before.
The big question is, what in the world does that
even mean? To glorify God and enjoy Him. Forever.
Of course, this is why he gave us things to do.
He gave us origins and orientations and made
us male and female. He's given us lots of things
to do. And we go, how do we glorify God? It's
so ambiguous. Well, it's only ambiguous because
we won't put ourselves to following Jesus in
the text of his word. The myth that marriage
is all about me and my satisfaction, sadly, is
the standard understanding. When I do premarital
counseling, in the very first session, every
first session, the first thing I say to that
couple is this, this wedding is not about you.
And they kind of look at it, and I turn to the
bride to be, and I said, this is not really about
you. They're like, what? So I go through a little
diatribe where I say, Don't spend too much money.
Don't try to make everything. Don't try to control
everything. The only thing that's going to happen
is you're going to be miserable on your wedding
day because nothing is the way you thought it
might be exactly. You will have spent all this
money for 30 minutes of your life. No. This wedding
is for God and your witnesses. You're making
vows to Almighty God and yes, it will change
you and transform you and so I'm not saying take
no interest in how beautiful it is It's for God
And the vows you take before him and it is for
your witnesses who you must be glad for Rejoice
in what are those witnesses there for? They are
as the Bible teaches us there to stand with you
in trouble and sorrows. And it is there, they
are there to stand with you throughout your life
in your joys and your expectations. And if you
struggle or you stumble, they are there to come
alongside you and say, remember God, remember
the works of Jesus, remember your covenant vows
before Him, remember your baptism. And as we
like to say sometimes, grab you by your baptism.
Don't fall into this sinful trap. That's what
the witnesses are for. And you should rejoice
in it. Dearly beloved, marriage is for the glory
of God and the good of the world. As we've already
seen, marriage is an imitation of Christ and
His church. Sometimes our imaging is truthful.
And sometimes it's a blasphemous lie. Christ
Jesus loves us and gave himself for us. Jesus
came not to be served, but to serve even unto
death. Jesus, trusting in his father, making
his bride sanctified and cleansed, to present
her to himself as a glorious church without spot
or wrinkle, to be holy. This service of the husband
to love and to cherish. By guarding and tending
for his bride that she might respond in submission
and respect For the glory of the kingdom of God
to see God glorified in his kingdom and to see
his kingdom flourish and Expand until the knowledge
of the glory of God covers the earth as the waters
cover the sea Now all of you have believed that
for Christ in his church But you must understand
that too is what marriage is. To see these things.
To see the kingdom of heaven. The knowledge of
the glory of God expand until it covers the entire
earth. As the waters cover the sea. The falsehood
of marriage existing to meet my needs is the
wide path of destruction. That's not to say it
won't meet your needs, but the difficulty is
if that is what we say the purpose is, we're
in trouble. As one commentator puts it, if marriage
is there to meet your needs, what do you do when
it doesn't meet your needs in your understanding?
Now, I want to be honest with you. Everybody
look up here. Young people, you too. So young
people, you're looking around watching all the
married people right now. Have you ever found
that your marriage at some point wasn't meeting
your needs? If everybody in this room didn't
do a double hand up like this, you're not being
honest. If I make my relationship the goal of
my life, I doom myself, you doom yourself. The
goal is not to pursue a good marriage. What?
Because that's what all the self -help books
say, pursue a good marriage. That's what I'm
here for. So that I can get my needs met. The
goal is not to pursue a good marriage, but to
pursue the honor. God Our marriages must aim
for more than to keep us satisfied and happy
Just as Jesus the bridegroom and the church the
bride are for the glory of God and the good of
the world Think about this. What did Jesus do?
he laid down his life for us and he ascended
into heaven and He left us the church to bring
the his good to the world And all of this is
not just for the glory of God and the good of
the world in some mystical way. Although one
of the most powerful ways to transform the world
is in unified worship by his people like this
on a Sunday morning. Nothing shakes the gates
of hell like that, like what we are doing right
now. But then we're called to go out from the
Lord's presence. and transform the world in whatever
meager little way we have responsibility for
it. You see, we are in a tangible real way to
worship God together, and it is a real relationship.
You see, word and sacrament have a face -to -face
element. First of all, through your elders speaking
to you. That's face -to -face. We represent Christ's
words to you. That's why this is a scary place
to stand. And it is also a beautiful place of
God's presence, Jesus' presence, by the power
of the Spirit in our lives at the Lord's table.
These are not just empty symbols, but real tangible
gifts of God from His presence to us. to strengthen
us and bless us so that we can go and glorify
the world. Word and sacrament have a face -to
-face element, Jesus with us, that we may be
strengthened and side -by -side with Jesus, see
the world transform for the glory of God and
the true goodness of the world. So here's the
thing. According to Ephesians 2, where are we?
We are beside Jesus. He's interceding for us.
I don't think anybody in here thinks that somehow
the church is equal to Jesus. And yet, he has
put us by his side in this image of marriage
to do what? To transform the world. The face
-to -face intimate relationship in marriage is
designed to strengthen the unity of marriage
for the side -by -side relationship that you
have for the good of the world over and through
trials. Last week we talked about that phrase,
right? Marriage is easy, or are you doing it
wrong? Meaning that if we make the focus of our
trials ourselves, each other, our marriage, that's
where trial is. Guess what happens? We didn't
do anything on the outside. The gospel lived
out to the glory of God and the benefit of others.
Who are those others? Your household, your church,
and the broader community. When we studied Psalm
37, we heard of the steadfastness of God's love
and actions for his people. Verse 23 says, the
steps of a good man are ordered by Yahweh, and
he delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall
not utterly be cast down, for Yahweh upholds
him with His hand. And also down in verse 39
of Psalm 37, but the salvation of the righteous
is from, not ourselves, but Yahweh. He is their
strength in the time of trouble, and Yahweh shall
help them and deliver them, and He shall deliver
them from the wicked and save them, because they
trust in Him. And again, why do we say Yahweh?
Because it reminds us it is His covenant name
that He gave Himself. He keeps His promises.
He keeps His covenant with us. Marriage means
dying to self, trusting God and His promises
to raise us from the dead to His glory. But it
isn't just that, it is also the true benefit
to the world. In dying to self, God provides
sanctification for you. You've heard me say it
many times, God's ordinary means of sanctification
in your life is other people. And the greatest
sanctification in that is the person who knows
all your sins and shortcomings the most, your
husband, your wife. Let me declare to you the
truth of Almighty God. Trust God and do good.
willingly die to self in your marriage and see
the glorious transformation not only of your
marriage, but for the world that God has placed
you in at this time, at this place, and during
these circumstances that you find yourself in
right now. See, we are happy to believe in Jesus
for our eternal resurrection, but really that
faith. That trust needs to be in through the
actions of dying to ourselves That that that
we will see God resurrect us and resurrect the
relationships in our lives Jesus delights in
us Sharing our joys and sorrows All our happiness
we owe to Jesus. How then do we respond to the
love of Christ? Love is made manifest as you
render your love to him and obedience Jesus is
or excuse me. Jesus has your best interest and
outcome in mind He has done all for you and has
given you all you need from his cross Resurrection
and ascension where he now and his ascension
intercedes for you He has given himself to us
through the Holy Spirit in his word and sacraments.
He provides what we need when we need it. Even
when we think he is slow or late or not involved
at all. Read 1st and 2nd Peter on that one. Saints
of God, trust God and do good. Now interestingly,
In all three epistle passages on marriage, Ephesians
5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3, there's a list
directing submission with varying descriptions
of who and how we are to respond to our God -ordained
superiors and inferiors. I want us to consider
this. Again, this brings us back to our passage.
We've heard it in various ways, even in the Ephesians
passage, but here we go. Our passage from this
morning. Wives submit to your own husbands as
is fitting to the Lord. Husbands love your wives
and do not be bitter towards them. Children,
obey your parents in all things for this is well
pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke
your children lest they become discouraged. Bond
servants, obey all things. Your master is in
all things your masters according to the flesh
not with eye service as men pleasers But in sincerity
of heart fearing God and whatever you do do it
heartily as to the Lord and not to men Knowing
that from the Lord you will receive the reward
of the inheritance for you serve the Lord Christ
And of course it ends in a negative way, but
he who does wrong will be repaid for what he
has done And there is no partiality That inheritance
is believing in and seeing and trusting God in
the death to yourself. Now here's our problem.
With modern sensibilities, we groan when we hear
such a numbering of the list. But as you can
see, all three epistles begin the list with the
submission of the wife. And that just grates
our nerves. We think, why wouldn't you deal with
the husband first? Well, because the list is
about submission to the authorities. You know,
we often manage to cope and soothe our offended
heart when we remember from Ephesians 5 that
husbands are to love like Christ loves the church.
And so for some of you, you rationalize. Well,
my husband doesn't love me like Christ loves
the church, so I get a pass on respect and honor
and obeying. Or if I do do those things, it's
not heartily or joyfully unto the Lord. We will
cover the duty of husbands in coming weeks, but
submission is required as Jesus submits to the
Father. as husbands submit to Christ, which also
includes husbands submitting to Christ's representatives
on earth, their elders. Wives to husbands, children
to parents, servants to slaves, and employers,
slaves and employees to masters and employers.
It's all there. God has graciously given us instructions,
and we too often dodge ignore, or just rebel
of the true ways of life. I'm mentioning this
again, but last week we heard the quote, marriage
is easy or you're doing it wrong. Dearly beloved,
the long and the short of it is this. We turn
our marriages into the trial of life because
we do not obey the words of life. And so we choose
the path of hardship and death. Proverbs chapter
1 beginning of verse 22 says this, hear this.
How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
I'm going to pause right there. How many parents
have thought that of their children? Every one
of us. But have we taken that and put it on ourselves
and our relationship to God, the Father, and
through Jesus, the Son? For scorners delight
in their scornings. and fools hate knowledge.
Lady wisdom tells us that the foolish disdain
her counsel, and now terror and calamity will
come. The storm and the whirlwind of destruction
will bring distress and anguish because we hated
knowledge and chose not to fear the Lord. We
become complacent, holding on to our life that
leads to the destruction of marriage and to ourselves.
Proverbs 133, that's the end verse. It ends with
this. It says, but whoever listens to me will
dwell safely and will be secure without fear
of evil. Wives, God is clear. Submit, obey, respect,
and honor your husband, trusting God. When you
die to yourself, Trust God to bring a glorious
resurrection for His glory and for the good of
the world, starting in your marriage. As one
commentator puts it, submission does not make
the wife a doormat, and headship does not make
him a tyrant. What does those things? Sin. But
God's order of things, He places there on purpose.
All husbands should invite his wife to talk back
to him in respectful ways. Many a wife has saved
her husband from an idiotic decision by giving
respectful pushback. And wise patriarchs will
always recognize this fact about their wives.
Hebrews 13 17 talking about submission to authority
says and this is specifically aimed towards elders
the church and elders but I think because we've
made this and the elders of representative Christ
because we've made this connection already we
can apply it here in Hebrews 13 17 it says obey
those who rule over you and be submissive for
they watch out for your souls as those who must
give an account Let them do so with joy and not
with grief, for that would be unprofitable for
you. For all of you in this room, and anybody
here in this, are you making your superiors joyful
in your labors and submission? Or are they full
of grief from your inability to follow Jesus
and obey His word? I think that's a big question
for all of us. Wives, do not view yourself as
your husband's rival. No God has made you differently.
He has given you different gifts. It is not less
glorious. And he cannot complete his call by
himself. Likewise, men, love and cherish your
wife. It's not about rivalry. It's not about
who wins a fight. But is God being glorified?
Are you being for the good of the world? God
has made you male and female. By God's sovereign
plan, each of you have a different origin and
orientation. As one commentator puts it, granting
the obvious qualifications that would apply to
any human authority, that is to say, if they
tell you to sin, yes, stop. Don't do that. But
it says this, wives should submit to their husbands
in everything. He has real authority over you,
given by God, grounded in creation, symbolic
of the gospel, and enforced by his word. Thus,
in pleasing your husband, you please Christ,
and you honor God's divine design. In obeying
and respecting your husband, You obey and respect
Christ. The question for Christian wives is simple.
Do you trust God? Do you trust that God knows
best? If so, obey your husband. In submitting
to him, you submit to Christ. In respecting him,
you respect Christ. Reject the lies of mutual
submission and submit to your husband. Reject
feminism and embrace true femininity. For both
husbands and wives, your marriage is not for
you, but for the glory of God and the good of
the world. So thinking of Psalm 37, trust God
and do good. Stand your post and see the kingdom
of God expand and fill the whole earth. Let us
pray. Heavenly Father, Thank you for your great
love demonstrated to us in Christ Jesus, the
faithful and good bridegroom. Help us, we pray,
for every husband and wife to find the joy and
blessing in Christian marriage through obedience
to your holy life -giving word, that your name
will be praised and glorified and your kingdom
advanced to the ends of the earth. We ask all
this for the sake of Jesus who reigns with you
in the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen. Let
us continue our worship by the giving of our
tithes and offerings. Father, we thank you for
your goodness. And so we have these gifts to
share. Lord, we offer them up as a tribute offering
for all our works in the past weeks. Accept and
use your tithes and offerings for your glory
and for service in your kingdom. Blessed be God
forever and ever. Amen.