Hello! Hello! Welcome back to another episode of Dying and Ghosting a Killer. I'm Ka'well. And I'm Kenna.
How are you? I am good. I just made a bunch of food. You did. I've been cooking for the last couple of hours.
We're having a potluck tomorrow at work and I signed myself up for our famous potato salad and my new pasta salad recipe.
The last time you made it was really bomb. So bomb. I'm really excited about it. It's like a play on a grinder sandwich.
It has pepperoncini, it's like an Italian mayo kind of base, but it also has black olives and salami and pepperoni.
I ate around it last time, but I did have a bite of cheese when I was drunk. It also has cheese. It was awful.
It messed me up. I tried to stay vegan as much as possible. I know mayo counts as not vegan, but still.
I didn't eat any of that. No salami, no pepperoni, no meaty meats. I try not to. I'll have a steak every once in a while.
I'm not wearing my headset, so I can't hear anything that's going on right now. My hair is wet. It sounded pretty bad out here too.
There is so much going on. There's a lot of new things happening with us and our family and our lives. We're just super blessed and thankful.
I'm on an upswing for sure. Absolutely. I think this is going to be a little bit of a different thing that we're doing today, but before we get into the case,
I know it's your case, I will just take up some time really quick and talk about our social media. We have atdiagnosinga killer at every platform.
If this is your first time listening, hello, please follow us if you will. Give us a review, a rating, and everything is atdiagnosinga killer except for Twitter, which is atkillerdiagnosis.
We do have a TikTok and Instagram, a Gmail, which is atdiagnosinga killer at Gmail. Send us a message. You can DM us on Instagram. I have access to that too.
Also, we do have an upcoming show. There's a meet and greet. We also have a website. We do have a website, sorry, atdiagnosinga killer.com,
which needs to be updated with the new Patreon tiers, by the way. Okay, but we also have a Patreon. So, atdiagnosinga killer, or patreon.com, slash,
atdiagnosinga killer, our tier two and tier three are going to have a bonus episode coming out on the 29th, and that is the Toybox killer.
Super excited about that. That is just for our tier two and three Patreon exclusive episodes. Second installment of that, it's once a month.
You get an extra episode, and then with Patreon, you get ad-free episodes as well.
You'll get two episodes in one day on Monday, because that'll be the 29th. So you get a toybox and you get a mental breakdown as well.
There you go. And then lastly, we do have the True Crime and Paranormal Podcast Festival happening in August in Austin, Texas.
That is the 25th of the 27th. We have been invited to be hosts there. So follow them on Instagram, check out the festival website.
I think it's truecrimepodcastfestival.com. And then, yeah, check us out. If you want to come see us by your tickets, we do have a discount code that is
dakpod for 15% off of those tickets. And now I'll shut up. Thanks for all of that. You did a lot of it on your own. Thanks.
Okay, are we ready? I think I know who you're doing. Really? I'm just gonna put my vote out there in my head right now.
Okay. Once you say it, I will tell you if I was right or if I was wrong. I just realized that that probably was really loud.
It was a little loud. Sorry. It's all right. That was me picking up my phone. Today, we're gonna be talking about Elliot Rosser!
I knew it! I knew it! Oh my gosh. We're gonna talk about Elliot Roger. I know that you've been waiting for this one.
I have. And you said a second ago off mic, you were like, he isolated himself a lot. You didn't even say he. You said, this person isolated themselves a lot.
And I was like, is she doing fucking Elliot Roger? Well, yeah, I was talking about my child and about how he just decided to go play Legos in his room with all the lights off.
Like, not a movie or something. Right? It's silent in here. Yeah, and I was just thinking, like, don't, you know, this poor child was isolated.
Well, I've only heard this episode or this guy once and it was actually a lady that did an episode on him. Okay.
So I've only heard their take. I haven't even done any research on my own, so I'm really excited to hear your take on it as well.
I'm really excited to do this one. In fact, it's so much content. We are gonna do a two-parter. No! It's too much. There's too much stuff.
We have not done a two-parter in a hot minute. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So either, I guess it will be Thursday next week, catch part two.
Dang, you're gonna have to wait a whole week and I'm gonna have to wait a whole week too because we're not recording this back to back. It's not.
It's like we usually do for part twos.
Content morning. This episode depicts scenes of someone struggling with connecting with others. And if this episode is not for you, we encourage you to check out another one of our episodes.
Remember that your mental health comes first and we love you. Love you. Bye.
So again, just a very broad content warning. It's just essentially, of course, somebody is upbringing and there's struggles with that upbringing.
So Elliot Oliver Robertson-Roger.
Whoa! Robert Robertson?
Robert Robertson. Really?
Robert Robertson-Roger.
Oh, so there's no Robert?
No.
Oh.
No, I'm sorry I misspoke.
Okay.
Elliot Oliver Robertson-Roger.
Damn.
Okay.
He was born in London, England on July 24th, 1991. The Rogers had a long line of financial successes and his grandfather was a well-known photographer.
Okay.
His name was George Roger and he had taken some of the most famous photographs of World War II at the time.
His father is a famous director and filmmaker. His name is Peter Roger and his mother was Malaysian-born Lee Chin.
Peter would later become very successful in films. He actually went on to win several awards and accolades throughout his career.
He was most notably, like, on his little IMDb page so that he worked on the Hunger Games.
Oh, wow.
So he, yeah, he was a, or is rather, he is still alive.
Lee Chin, of course, is Elliot's mother, who his father met while she was working as a nurse on the set of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Oh, wow.
So she was like a medical person and that's how she met Pete.
So they're both like into film.
Yeah.
Cool.
Peter was 26 when Elliot was born, although his mother was 30, just a few years older.
And although the couple made efforts to prevent pregnancy, Elliot would be conceived. So they did not want children.
Well, I bet they were like, like way later on.
Well, they have very busy lives, you know, they work on film sets and stuff.
Once Elliot was born, the family attempted to travel for work, but Lee Chin had said that Elliot cried a lot as a baby and seemed to hate to travel.
I mean, he's a fucking baby.
Yeah.
So who wants to? And this is when he was a little infant.
Babies cry.
He might have been like motion sick too and they don't even know because they can't tell them.
Yeah.
They're just like jet setting everywhere.
Yeah.
So the family would eventually move to England and live in the countryside.
Peter went back to work and he began to travel a lot while Lee Chin stayed at home with Elliot and her mother who had helped.
She had moved in to help raise Elliot.
By all accounts, Elliot loved this time that he spent with his mother and his grandmother.
And Elliot would actually recollect by his third birthday or on his third birthday rather at the party.
There was another parent that cut the cake and handed it to their child first and he threw this like crazy elaborate tantrum.
Elliot.
I mean, that's his fucking birthday party.
I'd probably be pissed too.
Yeah.
Apparently it was like a really big blowout though.
So much to the point to where the family never allowed him to forget it.
Essentially like they would bring it up.
Okay.
Well, that fucking, that's an asshole of a parent that did that.
I'm sorry.
Like I wouldn't do that.
And I'd be like, why are you doing that?
It's my son's party.
Have you ever heard about like kids being so entitled that like when it's not their birthday,
their parent will still bring them like a present so that they don't feel left out?
Oh, that's awful.
I can't fucking stand that.
Anyways, it seems like this is like a precursor for Elliot's sense of entitlement.
Yeah.
And how when he didn't get what he wanted, he would throw a tantrum essentially.
Hmm.
Cute.
Four shadowing.
Yeah, for real.
But again, it's understandable.
He's three.
So Elliot started preschool and this is at an all boys private school.
He did make a few friends here, but was seemingly a melon call, cally type child as described
by his teachers.
Okay.
Like he's three and he just is so reserved and into himself.
It just didn't seem normal.
It's almost like he had a blase attitude towards a bad boy.
Yeah.
There's a la zae fair or blase.
I think they're both the same.
I don't know.
Email me.
Correct me.
It just seems that he was like a brat from the very beginning.
He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth type shit.
Well, it kind of seems like his parents are also like not allowing it, but instead of directing
him on like how to maintain like a healthy relationship with his feelings, I feel like
they're just giving him shit for it.
Right.
They're just like, be an adult.
Just be an adult.
You're three.
Come on.
Be a fucking adult.
Get a job.
God, lazy fuck.
Elliot remembers enjoying the holidays.
He liked being surrounded by family.
He liked cold weather and he loved the snow.
He remembers his parents throwing big elaborate holiday parties and quote, my father helped
me build a snowman once and quote, do you want to build a snowman?
I know you're in there.
Oh, God, I'm going to cry.
My parents helped me build a snowman once because it only snowed once here.
That was like two years ago.
It is a snow here, by the way.
Yeah.
At all ever.
It just sounds like he's really neglected at this point, especially by his father who
probably travels a lot.
Yeah.
Even with all of Peter's traveling, Elliot does have very fond memories of his father
teaching him how to fly kites when he was little.
And the two would share in flying kites together.
A little Benjamin Stanklin action.
Yeah, some Benjamin Stanklin action.
Had to pop that in there.
Peppered it.
By the following year, while the family was vacationing, Elliot would receive news that
his grandfather, George, had passed.
And this was on Elliot's fourth birthday.
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Now he's associating birthdays with loss and grief and all this shit.
The first time was the cake and now it's his birthday.
Just getting worse.
It's every birthday.
God, that sucks, honestly.
That's really sad.
I do want to say, Pepper this and now, I got most of this information from his own manifesto.
Oh yeah.
And although it wasn't 1400 pages long, it was 141.
Yeah, it's very long.
They actually made it into a book and it's a lot.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, like you can read a book essentially of his manifesto.
Or maybe it's just online, I don't know.
And I'm not trying to like discredit him just yet.
Well, I mean, we'll get to it.
But either way, it was very much, I don't want to give anything away yet, but it was
a very high school essay.
Yes, and a lot of what we're going to learn about him is his own account.
So it's not false, but it might be false because he made it up, but it's not like someone else
already hit it from like a bystander or whatever.
So the reason that I have very specific dates, not dates, but birthdays is because that's
the way he's outlined it in his own manifesto.
So it's like age three.
Yeah.
When he talks about age three.
Age four.
Yeah, no, he's fucking narcissistic.
Cuckoo.
He's narcissistic.
Definitely narcissistic.
Elliot does remember that when his grandfather passed on his birthday.
That's...
It's not funny, I'm sorry.
I mean, how do you not take that personally though?
Yeah, honestly, like especially as a four year old.
You're like, hey bud, I know that you're really trying to enjoy your cake, but like popsicle
passed away.
Poor popsicle.
Damn popsicle.
God sucks, man.
Elliot does remember that this was the first and only time that he had ever seen his father
cry.
Okay, don't say that to me.
And that it profoundly affected him, of course.
Can relate.
Yeah.
Just saying.
Can fucking relate.
Within the year, Peter and Lee Shin would welcome their second baby named Georgia.
Georgia.
No, it's Georgia.
Georgia?
Georgia.
Hiya, Georgia.
Thank you for getting that.
Her name is Georgia, my bad.
No.
It's like a Georgia.
The way she's been.
Georgia.
I just got it.
My bad, my bad.
Georgia.
Hiya, Georgia.
Anyway, Georgia.
Okay.
And of course this is an homage to the late grandfather, which is George.
I didn't mean to be in front of it.
I was just thinking like the state.
No, I said it.
It is like the state, I think, but still.
By the time that Elliot was five, Peter's career was taking off and he decided it would
be best to move the entire family to Los Angeles.
Whoa.
You all right?
First Georgie, now Los Angeles, California.
Okay, that's what I was going to say.
I didn't think he was from England.
No, he was born there.
Well, yes, but I, does he have an accent?
No.
I don't think so.
Well, when you listen to videos of him, he kind of, he has a very specific pattern of
speech.
Well, it's probably a mixed accent from there.
I think it's Valley Girl.
Yeah, exactly.
Also, speaking of loss, not speaking of, speaking of Europe and London, that fucking one Jeopardy
contestant that went, he grew up in New York, went to college for like two semesters in London
and then comes back with an accent.
What?
I know somebody like that.
God, that's, I'm not from here.
I'm British.
You sound like you're from London.
That's like so, so much of a fucking farce is ridiculous.
Pooh-Pooh heads, both of you, Pooh-Pooh heads.
Yeah.
Terrible people.
So Elliot, of course, wasn't crazy about this.
He had already established some friendships, little, you know, little friendships, little
family members.
He said he would mostly miss his grandmother because he loved his grandmother, his amma.
Oh, and I bet he felt bad leaving her there alone.
Well, I don't know if she was alone.
I think he had probably aunts and uncles and stuff.
Well, yeah, but like her husband passed away, you know.
That's what I mean by alone.
Yeah.
Did her husband pass away?
Oh yeah.
Did George her husband?
Georgie.
I don't know.
Okay, well either way.
No, that would have been Peter's, well yeah, I guess so because Leechin was from Malaysia,
so I'm assuming that.
His paternal grandparents.
Yes.
So, Elliot would say that he specifically asked if the new home would come with a swimming
pool because they were going to Los Angeles and I guess that was in his head.
And when he didn't, he threw a fit or what?
He was relieved when his father told him that yes, yes, it did come with a pool.
Lord knows what would have happened.
Yeah, right.
I want a poo.
Sorry.
I want a poo.
Give me a poo.
He's three.
You think he really gives a shot?
Yeah, he's four.
Remember his grandfather died on his third birthday?
I don't think he really...
I want a poo.
No, sorry, I can just hear it.
I don't think he would really say that at four.
I think this is him writing his manifesto at 22 and then...
Making all the excuses as to why he did what he did.
Yes, exactly.
My dad didn't give me a poo when I was four.
I want a pony.
I'm a dickhead for the rest of my life.
But daddy, I want the golden egg.
I want it, I want it now.
That's me.
I'm Verusasol, I'm sure.
That's me as a person.
And that's why I'm about to do what I'm going to do.
I want the world.
I want the whole world.
Perfect.
We're going off on a tangent.
I'm sorry, people like us.
Actually, we did get a nice review about someone that says that they like listening to us because
we get right to the point and now we're like...
Not doing that.
That's so true.
They did specifically say that, sorry.
Hi, thank you for the nice review though.
Back to the story.
So again, the house came with a poo.
You don't say.
In retrospect, he would come to miss his life in England.
Elliot would arrive in the new house and he would immediately select the bedroom that he wanted
only to find out that his mother had already assigned this room to his baby sister.
So he was not happy about that.
In fact, he would throw a tantrum about it.
Why does she need the new room?
She's small.
I'm four.
Either way, Elliot was excited to start his new life in this big house the family had purchased
and excited to attend school that year since he had never been to an American school.
Elliot quickly realized that American schooling is very different.
It's gonna be a way that he could not all expect.
He grew up on the countryside.
I don't even think he was going to school.
I think he was just like, kids just get excited about going to school in general.
Yeah, that's true.
They should get excited about going to school and not be terrified.
I like school.
Yeah, right.
Fuck that.
He said that his teacher was uptight, often giving Elliot extra work in order to catch up
to the American curriculum, which I don't think was true either.
I think he just thought he was being pinpointed.
Yeah, because he's narcissistic, even at a young age.
The children were also dismissive of the small, statured young man, especially because he
was foreign and he sounded funny.
You sound like you're from London.
Paul Rudd from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Have you seen my, what is it?
My shoe.
It's like this one.
It's all evil vision.
It's like this one's mate, really?
My legs are so sweaty right now.
Why?
It's so hot in here.
Sweaty thighs.
Where was I?
He was simply just different from everyone else.
So after a few weeks, Elliot's parents decided to remove Elliot from the school since they
too felt like Elliot was being treated differently than the other children.
Paving the way.
Maybe because he's just a little different.
Maybe because he is from England.
Maybe because they're just not used to that.
Maybe people do talk to him more or want to know more or whatever.
Want to be involved more.
Right?
Would you rather no one fucking talk to you because you're pissed off about that later?
So what do you fucking want?
Exactly.
I'm sorry.
I remember when I listened to this episode, when Lady did it, I was so fucking irritated
the whole time I was listening to it because this guy just strikes a nerve with it.
Yeah, every time.
Elliot was then enrolled in a school literally called a farm school because it was a school
on a farm.
Okay.
Did they teach you how to be a farmer?
Kind of.
So again, it was attached to a farm.
He was encouraged to make friends and he was handled very gently and kindly by the teachers.
They were very nice teachers.
But they used to go on little field trips to the farm.
So they would.
They would go out there.
It wasn't like an agricultural school because this is also, he's four or five.
Yeah.
He's still a baby.
It's not like they have farm hands for children.
It reminds me of the TV show where they would send their troubled teens to work on the farm
with these families to teach them how to.
Well, Dr. Philly used to do that.
I don't know if that's the same thing.
Yeah, I think it was.
Yeah.
It was called Turn Around Ranch.
Wasn't it?
Turn About Ranch?
Yes.
So Elliot was finally feeling like he was being nurtured and he kind of began to come
on official essentially.
Elliot would soon meet a girl by the name of Maddie.
The two would quickly become friends.
I was like, whoa.
I think I specifically wrote it like that.
The two would quickly become friends and Elliot was relieved when he found out that Maddie
was also from an affluent family as her father was a famous musician back home in England
as well.
Oh, so now he has something in common with her.
Exactly.
Cool.
So a familiar set of circumstances for Elliot because of course he had just moved from England
and also had a famous dad.
The two spent a lot of time together.
They would be watching movies, playing outside and such, swimming in the pool.
Elliot would distinctly remember that at least on one occasion the two bathed together at
four or five.
Like they took it upon themselves or the parents bathed?
The parents just didn't care or maybe it was after the pool, getting the tub, rinse
off, who cares.
Okay.
I mean, that's not that weird.
I think it's weird.
For five?
Yeah, five is definitely a little old.
I would say he might be remembering that because it was told to him when he was older, not
necessarily the memory itself.
Sure.
But either way, no, I think it's, I mean, they're not siblings so it's definitely weird.
They're not.
It's inappropriate.
If they were like one and a half, two, maybe.
For sure.
I think my son started showering at five on his own.
Either way, this would seemingly be Elliot's first crush or at least the idea of what he
thought a crush might be.
Okay.
Ew, his parents are probably like, oh look how cute they are.
They're going to get married one day and then showered them together like that's fucking
creepy.
Ew.
You know when they say that about kids though.
The two would quickly get married.
At age six, Elliot remembers having a sense of meekness for the first time.
He wasn't like the other boys who would roughhouse with each other and had an overall kind of
rambunctious play style.
He wasn't like that.
He was more reserved and he felt more inward and wouldn't really find a place between
playing with boys, like playing with the boys or sitting with the girls.
So he just kind of felt stuck in the middle.
Yeah.
I was going to say with John Mulaney, he's like, I'm just going to sit here and feed
my birds.
He was also considered short for his age as well.
By the first grade, Elliot switched schools again and attended, I think it's Sierra, Sierra
Ana, Sierra Nia, Sierra Nia Avenue Elementary.
Anybody from California had a say.
Yeah.
I think Sierra Nia, Georgia.
Sure.
Maddie and Elliot kept in contact as did their parents.
Elliot would be invited over along with his parents.
Oftentimes, Maddie would have girlfriends as well over just, you know, well, because
she was a little girl.
Yeah.
Elliot remembers being attracted to playing with Maddie and her friends saying, quote,
in the present day, these girls would treat me like the scum of the earth.
But at the time, we were equals.
And quote.
Cry me a fucking river.
Yeah.
I think one of the biggest things that pissed me off about it, I'm not going to give anything
away.
But like, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
After just a few short weeks into the first grade, the family would move yet again, although
in the same district.
So he hoped one day that maybe in middle or high school, he might see some of the friends
that he did make friends with.
But again, this is after a few short weeks.
So they've already moved from England.
Well, they lived somewhere, then they moved to the countryside.
Then they moved to LA.
Now they're moving again.
And he is six.
That's a lot of movement, especially having to travel to when he was little, when they
were doing the work and stuff.
It's true.
And they would also in this time be taking vacations as well, which I mentioned in a
little bit.
Yeah.
So far, all of his birthdays have only been restaurants, fancy restaurants, or trips.
Wow.
Never like a kid's birthday party.
Well, it's got to be frustrating to kind of being like drug around everywhere, like not
really being able to participate in things because you're so young.
And also not really having a sense of belonging because you don't really stay somewhere long
enough to make really good friends.
Exactly.
That's got to be hard.
I can't relate to that.
I mean, we've been in the same house our whole lives.
So again, he was forced to pack up and leave while having to meet a whole new set of kiddos
at his new school.
That's got to be hard.
So now he would be attending its Topanga Elementary.
I was like, how do you say, I'm dumb.
Boy meets world, Topanga.
Elliot was nervous as the school year had already begun and friendships were already likely
to be developed at this point between the kids.
God, the fact that he has that worry at such a young age, like, oh, kids are already going
to be friends with each other.
They're not going to want to be friends with me.
They're all going to know each other.
Yeah.
And I don't know anybody.
That's scary.
It is.
Nonetheless, a student that he sat with on his first day was very welcoming and very
kind to Elliot.
This would also become a good friend of his and his name was Philip.
He was a nice guy.
Good.
Nice guy, too.
I don't know if that was his name was Philip or he met Philip that same day, my bad.
Sorry, Elliot.
Sorry, not sorry, Elliot.
Yeah, I have to fuck.
He also quickly became friends with another boy named James.
And James would be actually Elliot's best friend for the next 14 years.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah.
The boys would spend a lot of time together outside of school as well.
James's mother would come over to the house often and spend time with Lee Chen and they
would chat about stay-at-home mom things, whatever stay-at-home mom things talk about.
On this time, Elliot's parents also had hired a nanny as his father's career was taking
off and Elliot kind of rarely saw his father around this time.
So just to help out Lee Chen, they hired a nanny.
Does the nanny the nanny?
Does the nanny the nanny.
Gosh, that would be a good deep dive.
Yeah, it would.
Casey Evany.
I want to do Judy Arias, too.
Anyways, even Elliot's grandmother had actually flown in on occasion from England to help
out with Elliot and give his mother comfort.
So this was his amma.
I think it's what he called her, amma, like grandma.
Yeah.
Elliot would witness his mother and his father fighting quite often around this time whenever
his father was home.
And his father would actually provide him with a video game system for Christmas.
This often distracted Elliot when he felt pushed out by his parents fighting.
So he started playing video games at a young age.
He got an itinerary of 64.
Oh, Elliot.
Elliot felt like in retrospect his dad did this on purpose because they were fighting.
Yeah.
And so it was just kind of like he just threw himself in a video game.
Where did it happen that he takes everything so fucking personally?
Like, I don't see anything specifically happening that, I mean, even as young as three, he gets
mad as fuck about this kid taking a piece of cake.
When was this sense of entitlement introduced to him?
That he takes everything like it's, he's the only person in the fucking world?
I don't understand.
Okay, there is a Barbara Walters special with Peter Rogers after Elliot committed this crime.
And he reads that way.
The dad does.
The dad reads very entitled, very like, I don't know.
I don't know what's going on with my son.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah.
Except it's more like this.
He's like, I don't know.
I haven't lost my, you know, I was kind of Australian.
Do better.
I'm still Australian, but do better.
Do better.
Well, no, better.
You can say better.
If you're from England, it was sorry.
Are you from Manchester?
Well, I heard that people in England do American accents all the time too.
It's true.
In Australia.
Yeah.
It's funny.
If we do eggley or curler, then we can do Manchester.
Tauno looks for Kelia.
The Tauno Loner.
We love you guys.
I want to go visit Sofucking God.
Me too.
I would love, love, love, love to go to Australia.
I want to go to New Zealand.
I need somebody online.
With noodles, as you'll see, those high noodles, noodles lived in Australia and she sent me
photos once of kangaroos hanging out in her front yard.
She's like, I need to go to work, but there's fucking kangaroos in my front yard.
It's like deer face.
And I can't go.
It's like a moose.
It's funny.
It's just dangerous.
I want to go to New Zealand specifically to try the wine that I like to drink, like,
from the source, like locally, because I only drink New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs.
Really?
Or like Australia or South African, but mostly New Zealand.
I would want to go to New Zealand to see where they filmed Lord of the Rings.
Yeah.
I would like to go to Marlboro.
Marlboro.
Marlboro, how do you say it in the New Zealand accent?
Someone from New Zealand sent me a voice memo of you saying Marlboro.
Yeah.
And if that someone is Jimmy and Clement, give me a call.
Give me a hand.
God, we're going on tangents on this one.
Sorry, y'all.
Okay.
The person that wrote the review was like, fucking A, dude.
Like as soon as I give them a compliment, they fuck it.
So again, it wasn't really totally clear if Peter bought the console because he was
trying to distract Elliot or just to give him something to do.
Who knows.
But of course, Elliot's never going to think like, oh, he bought that for me out of the
kindness of his heart because he wanted me to have something fun.
No.
He needed some reason to distract me or something.
Again, he wrote this when he was 22 and he already knew what he was going to do.
So he's already just scorned.
He hates everything.
So Elliot, however he learned the word at five or six, once asked Leechon if she and
his father would ever get a divorce to which she replied, never.
Because I guarantee you his dad was like, you want to get a fucking divorce?
You want to get a fucking divorce?
You want to get a divorce?
No, I'm just kidding.
I don't know.
I don't know if he said that.
Oh no.
No.
That's probably where he heard it from.
Or he may be told a kid at school.
I don't know.
That's stupid.
It's the dumbest thing.
It's so dumb.
I work with kiddos and they all ask great questions.
That's awesome.
Elliot would attend summer camp that year and after his return, so again, just a reminder
because we did go off in a little bit of a tangent that Leechon said they would never
get divorced.
So Elliot went to summer camp and shortly after he returned they were celebrating Elliot's
7th birthday, so it's his birthday, right?
No, fucking way.
It would be a few days later that the family would have the conversation of them getting
a divorce essentially.
And what did he say?
Oh, my 7th birthday.
My parents got divorced.
My 7th birthday.
I guarantee you he acquitted it with his 7th birthday.
Of course he did.
And acquitted it.
It's not even the right word.
Equated.
Equated it with his 7th birthday and he made that a big fucking deal on his manifesto.
Yeah.
Well then they got divorced on my 7th birthday.
They broke the news to me.
Even though it was three days later.
Even though it was two weeks later he probably was still what it said.
On my birthday.
He did say that the reason that he remembered it so well was it was the last birthday meal
that he remembers experiencing with both of his parents essentially.
Fuck ever dude.
No, sorry.
That's kind of fucked up.
Sorry.
That's kind of fucked up there.
I don't want that for anybody.
It was probably at Ruth's Chris.
Oh my god, I love Ruth's Chris.
Me too.
I love their mushrooms.
Ew.
I don't like that at all.
I can honestly say I worked at Ruth's Chris.
I don't know if anybody else knows that.
But I did.
And it's still my favorite steak place to go to.
I want to go when you work somewhere like you don't want to eat there anymore after
you quit.
Yeah.
The lobster mac and cheese fucking mint.
Fucking mint.
Fucking amazing.
I want to go to Bliss.
Oh my god, Bliss was so good.
Okay, let's keep those.
Let's keep those.
Those stottas are so good.
Okay.
Bro, everything.
So of course Elliot felt completely betrayed and lied to specifically by his mother about
this.
Yeah, for sure.
Elliot and Georgia would move in with Lee Chin and would begin to see even less of their
father because he was traveling a lot for work.
Elliot would say that he would often cry when no one was around.
And he started feeling just depressed.
He would like to keep to himself in his room, play video games or sleep.
And then this is at seven.
That's major depression for a seven-year-old.
That's really sad.
It is.
I'm not trying to laugh.
I'm laughing at the fact that your seven-year-old a second ago was doing that.
You were like, let's stay in the room.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, it's a little dark in here.
Can I turn on the light?
Oh gosh.
But no, that is like really hard emotions for someone that young to be experiencing.
And it's really sad too because like he already didn't see his dad a lot and now he's like
really not seeing his dad.
And honestly, like from what you're saying with the interview, it kind of sounds like
his dad is like his biggest role model if he's mimicking the way that his dad acts
as far as the ego goes.
For sure.
But the houses were run differently with Lee Chen's being very fun and warm and nurturing,
just having a lot of fun with the kiddos.
Peter's household was somewhat distant and cold.
And when the children would stay with him, although he did hire a nanny that Elliot seemed
to have bonded with, her name was Christine.
But when they would stay with him, it just was very non-nurturing, the opposite of that.
He's probably busy as fuck.
Yeah.
Not that it's an excuse, but he seems busy as fuck.
Yeah.
I mean, not just given the nature of what his job is, but he's also providing for four
individuals.
He's probably paying out alimony too.
True.
Elliot's friend James would also move away by the second grade, so his best friend James.
And although James and Elliot would remain friends, it's yet another example about how
nothing is permanent in Elliot's life at all.
Eventually Elliot's father would downgrade to a smaller place after some financial issues,
which was probably also paying for the divorce, also with the alimony he probably just chose
to downsize.
And he would actually rent out a room to a friend who was also struggling financially,
the dad did.
So just a few short months after the announcement of his parents to force, Elliot was introduced
to a woman who would soon become his stepmother.
Stepmother.
Mother.
That's weird.
Stepfather, mother.
So this tenant is going to be his new stepmother?
No, it's a different mother.
No, the first tenant was a man.
It was one of his friends.
But when Samaya, Samaya is her name, so when Samaya would hang around, Elliot was like,
oh, this is another roommate.
Well then he began to witness them kissing and all the things that boyfriends, girlfriends
do, right?
So Samaya was a Moroccan actress and Samaya was also from a very successful family and
never wanted for nothing.
Elliot watched very closely at Pierre and Samaya's relationship and it was the first
exposure to a relationship between two people that weren't married, that he followed very
closely.
Yeah, I mean, that's kind of, I don't want to say inappropriate for his dad to have
done that, but that's really soon to just like bring someone around.
And especially because Elliot thought she was just another renter.
So Elliot began to soon realize that his father was a bit of a ladies man and that being with
women came easily for his father, probably because of, well, he's rich.
I can't even see two girls.
I'm only four.
While knowing it or not at the time, Elliot resented his father for being such a ladies
man, of course, right?
Elliot would also become, would come to resent Samaya as she was never really nurturing towards
Elliot and she would often take time to reprimand and discipline Elliot unnecessarily, at least
in Elliot's mind, for simple things.
Yeah, I just feel like a lot of this is like mumbo jumbo.
It's like, fucking dude.
She probably got mad at you because you made a giant mess in the kitchen and didn't clean
it up.
It's probably not unwarranted.
And you were probably pretty defiant too because I'm the new woman in your dad's life
and that's a very natural reaction to have.
And yet another thing to take attention away from you.
Yes.
I mean, he's a child.
Like he doesn't know how to process these emotions, but the fact that he's relaying
this information as an adult is very fucking irking.
He could just say, I fucking hated her and I hated her because she wasn't my mom.
And everything I'm hearing is him continuously trying to make an excuse for his current behavior
or his future behavior at this point.
Also, none of this is verbatim.
If it is verbatim, I will say quote, but this is also my interpretation of reading essentially
like two to three paragraphs and trying to sum it up in like a sentence or two.
Yeah.
Because he goes on and on.
And he just, just rambles.
Rambles, exactly.
It's like the toy box killer.
You can't read the whole audio tape or she'd be here for like three hours.
Yeah, exactly.
Up until this point, Elliot was a pretty disciplined child, but not without the occasional outburst
or tantrum when not getting what he wanted, which we've seen already.
Elliot was still in between two worlds, a normal child activity, like going on with
like school and stuff or friends, but then also setting to like red carpet events.
So he had been to several red carpets and those are all, you know, destinations either
in LA or other places.
So it was kind of weird.
It was almost like he never had any real normalcy at all.
He's like Hannah Montana.
Yeah.
Got the best of both worlds.
So while still in elementary school and as kiddos do, the boys and the girls began to
separate at recess and play times because the kids are getting older, right?
So boys play with boys, girls play with girls.
Although this is a normal part of child development, of course, Elliot would eventually begin to
feel left out specifically, right?
Because again, he already said that he didn't know where he was going to, where he belonged.
Elliot said, quote, I was happy living in innocent, ignorant bliss and I was happy with
it.
So he said, I was a child, I was a child and he was a child.
And I loved, I was loved, loved.
So I know, did you know that Hannah Montana was almost named Alexis Texas?
No.
And then they found out that someone had already had that name as a character.
So they changed it to Hannah Montana.
Well, the more you know, could you imagine that should have been canceled.
It was called Alexis Texas.
I would have been hyped as fuck.
Well, for here, yeah, probably not there.
So he did hang on to one friend, Elliot, which was Maddie, of course, and he always seemed
to have a special reserved spot for her in his heart.
Of course, he's seen her naked.
That was really gross.
Gross.
Maddie's parents would also divorce and her father would actually move back to England.
So again, another similar kind of boat that he was in.
After some vacation time in Morocco to visit Samaya's family and then to England to visit
more of Peter's family, the family would come home to Christine announcing that she would
be resigning and moving back to Germany where she was originally from.
This was the nanny, the only one that he kind of connected with.
Dang.
Yeah.
Everyone leaves me.
Especially nurturing figures is what he's getting.
Once again, another woman in Elliot's life was removed and once again, his father would
move homes now finding like the height of his career.
This is around, I wouldn't say necessarily hunger games, but this is pretty up there.
So it wasn't until Elliot's ninth birthday that he would have an actual regular birthday
fit for a child his age.
This was the first birthday where children were allowed to come to his birthday and run
around and play games.
I think it was like Disney themed or something.
Okay.
They're cute.
So again, they had always traveled or had adult dinners for his birthday, but this is
the first birthday.
But Elliot would be bothered by the fact that his younger sister's friends were also allowed
to attend, therefore taking the attention away from him.
I mean, that's kind of annoying.
Yeah.
If they're not friends with him, why are they at his birthday party?
I would be annoyed by that.
I mean, they're like five years younger.
I definitely remember that having birthday parties for me and like you girls having like
one or two kids your own age here.
Yeah.
I guess, but maybe like one friend, but like, this isn't like, oh, it's Elliot's birthday,
but also Georgia.
Yeah.
I feel like I would be, I'm sorry about that.
I did that.
I feel like I would be annoyed.
You were a baby.
He's jealous of a baby.
It's weird, you know, but that's also the parents doing like they're inviting the kids.
She's not, you know what I mean?
So it's like, I don't know.
I feel like I would be, I, here's the thing.
I would be a little annoyed, but I probably wouldn't like make it a big deal like that.
You know what I mean?
I'd be like, okay, that's like annoying as fuck.
I also don't know the full ins and outs.
It's like if a child is in his grade and a child, like they have a brother, a younger
brother or sister that's also Georgia's age and why not bring the kid?
That's true.
So there's varying circumstances.
He's just a brat.
Yeah.
For show.
Elliot around this time also began to have very big issues with his height.
Slowly he was realizing that everyone around him seemed to be getting taller and stronger,
but he just stayed the same.
He had read some like article or a magazine about basketball players and he realized that
basketball players were very tall.
So he took up playing basketball.
Like he would go down to the little courts and play basketball by himself.
He's like, I'm going to grow.
I'm going to grow.
He would be like exercising on the playgrounds because he wanted to get bigger.
He said he would lay on the ground and stretch himself out as much as he could in an effort
to get taller.
Oh my God.
That's like really sad.
That's sad.
I did that when I was a kid.
Did you really?
Yeah.
My goal was to be taller than mom and dad.
Are you taller than mom and dad?
No.
You are.
I'm going to cry.
Don't cry.
Oh no.
Is this your manifesto?
Did you write this, Koel?
Did you write this?
Oh my gosh.
I didn't know.
For those of you that don't know it and if you guys aren't going to see us at the podcast
festival, Koel, I'll tell you.
I'm five two.
I'm five nine.
I'm a giant.
I've always been so big.
I was laying in her bed going, get shorter.
Get shorter.
I swear to God I was.
I was like, let me drink a bunch of coffee.
Don't throw it at me.
I stunk my drugs.
I swear to God I started drinking coffee in middle school because I wanted to be shorter.
Are you serious?
I'm not even joking.
Okay.
I don't want to go anymore.
That really struck a chord with me because I used to do that too.
I used to lay in bed and go, I'm going to get so tall.
Oh my gosh.
That's so sad.
Stretch my body out as far as I could.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I can wear heels.
Which I would.
I was going to say I can wear heels.
I can wear heels.
You still look great in heels, you should.
I do sometimes.
I love the fact that it doesn't bother Casey because I'm at the exact same height when
we're in shoes, with no shoes.
When I wear heels, we're still pretty much the same height because he wears boots usually.
But I might be a hair taller than him and he has never once said, don't wear those.
It makes me feel bad.
When we take a picture, crotch down.
He has never once said that to me because he's a man and he is comfortable in his own
skin and I love it.
That's great.
But I also hate being a glamazon.
I think it's cool.
I would like to be at least two inches taller.
I think 5'7 would be the perfect height.
Is there a perfect height?
Yes, 5'7.
I feel like all bodies are beautiful, can I?
Okay, well, disagree.
I'm just kidding.
That's not okay.
That's not what I meant.
That's awful.
I don't like my height is what I meant.
Oh, I see.
You mean the perfect height for you.
Yes.
I'm not the perfect height for people.
No, for me.
Oh, okay.
That's what I was saying.
I was just saying.
Okay, so everything like they calmed down over there?
No, uniqueness is what I...just go.
Anyway, I'm just gonna dig myself into it whole.
Yeah, but it's not sad.
So he's laying on the ground and he used to imagine himself being taller.
That is really sad.
He also admitted that around this age he does remember being a very jealous or envious person.
He essentially always remembers being jealous or envious of something or someone for some
reason.
Okay.
Which is a pretty big admit, I think.
That is, and also a pretty big emotion for a 10-year-old to have.
Yeah.
Well, I think he's like, well, no, he's nine, right?
He's nine?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
His ninth birthday.
So he did begin to hold resentments towards his fellow classmates.
He would often smile to people's faces, but internally despising the boys around him.
So he's like, I am friends with these boys because I have to be, not because I want to
be, so I'm gonna try to just be as nice as possible.
Like doopers to light.
Okay, yeah, that's kind of creepy.
It is.
He's like, I'm gonna kill you.
You just wait.
I'm waiting till I get taller.
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It seems that the conversations with girls came naturally to the other boys, and he
really hated that, of course.
This is the build up, y'all.
Just sitting in a corner like, look at him.
Look at him living in our lives.
Existing.
I can't stand that shit.
This even extended into his own friendships at the time.
He remembers being very jealous or envious when James would come over with other kids.
Like he'd be like, oh, I want to bring my friend with me, and then he would watch James
interacting with another kid, and he would get jealous.
He'd be that one kid that's like, you can't have any other friends besides me.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh gosh.
Anyone adult?
I know multiple adults like that.
Like that.
I'm sorry, I know multiple people like that.
I don't want to call those adults.
Adults.
It gives them that credit.
It's too much cred.
He would even get jealous when Maddie would come over and play with Georgia, his younger
sister.
Okay.
I don't think they're little girls.
He would sometimes cry or throw tantrums about it, and oftentimes wouldn't speak to James
or Maddie after these interactions.
That's such a heavy emotion for such a young kid to be experiencing.
Well, how does he-
He was forced to be an adult at like four.
Yeah, that's very true.
I mean, he already said that his parents- I don't know how true that is, but he already
said that essentially his parents didn't want him, so they're like, okay, well, we're adults,
and we're constantly traveling, and you need to be adult enough to do this.
It's actually very true.
I didn't even think about that.
Eliot's parents would soon switch week to week, like week on week off, which was kind
of exciting for Eliot since he didn't get to spend a lot of time with his father.
Although his father would just end up hiring two nannies instead.
Wow.
Yeah.
Two nannies.
Well, I guess there's two kids because if they're passing Georgia too, that makes sense.
So he didn't have to deal with them.
Exactly.
Cool.
So Eliot's relationship would become more strained the more time that he spent over
at Peter's house.
So Maya would insist Eliot drink milk every morning, and he fucking hated that.
He also complained about a soup that Samaya used to regularly make often, saying that
he hated it.
So Maya would soon implement drinking this soup as a form of punishment.
What?
Yeah.
I think I did hear that.
So she forced him to drink it on several occasions as a punishment.
Oh, that's not, that's fucked up.
Isn't that fucked up?
That is fucked up.
Especially like that I cannot stand if people use food to abuse their children.
Absolutely.
Whether it's withholding or forcing.
That's so fucking disgusting.
And then you wonder why they grew up with eating disorders.
Right.
Like honestly.
Exactly.
Once Eliot and Samaya would have an argument in front of Philip, his childhood friend,
and after this incident, apparently Philip wasn't allowed at the house anymore, which
I suppose Eliot thought Samaya had told Philip's parents that Philip wasn't allowed to come
over anymore.
Or Philip went home and told his parents that they got in a fight and the parents were
like, ooh, I don't want you over there if it's going to be like a toxic environment.
True, exactly.
And the only reason I say that is because Philip was still allowed to go to Luchines.
So, oh okay.
So it's not an Eliot thing, it was a Samaya thing.
Either way.
Yeah.
Either Samaya said Philip can't come over or Philip, Philip's parents were like, we don't
want you around that woman.
Yeah.
Well shit.
I don't want to be in them.
I'd probably do the same thing if that's what happened.
In an effort to fit in around this time, Eliot picked up skateboarding and he actually
wanted to dye his hair, specifically bleach it.
Because spiky bleach tips were like the coolest thing.
Hell yeah, I want to be JT all the way.
It's true.
This was LA after all and it was cool to bleach your hair and have spiked tips.
His parents did allow this and although it did gain him some type of attention at school
for a few days, it didn't last very long and he went back to kind of being the kid who
felt ignored.
It's like, man, cool haircut bro.
Anyways, have a good day.
Yeah, goodbye.
Bye.
Oh, you liked his skateboard?
Cool.
Later.
Yet again, Peter would move this following year as well.
So he moved to another house.
Cute.
Eliot having to get used to another new environment, of course.
Cute.
Lee Shin would also move to a bigger house.
Cute.
Cuter.
Well good for her.
She deserves a bigger house.
So we know by now that Samaya has essentially scared all of Eliot's friends away, right?
So Samaya's like, you need to make more friends.
So in an effort to force Eliot into making neighborhood friends, she actually locked
him out of the house once and she said, you need to go talk to those kids.
Go be friends with those kids.
You're not allowed back in the house until you know all their names essentially.
Yeah.
What a fucking weirdo.
Yeah.
She's a bitch.
I mean, again, this is all according to Eliot, but still.
So he was locked out until he can meet all the new neighborhood kids or the new kids
in the neighborhood.
Okay.
And now I'm like, yeah, now that you said that, I'm like, maybe she didn't do that.
Or maybe it wasn't extreme.
Maybe it was like, no, you need to go and go meet friends.
Like go, this is your new neighborhood.
Go out there and go play with the kids.
She's like, she locked me out for real.
She locked me out until dark.
I'm sure she was tired of him playing video games all day.
True.
So one time the family got together and they flew to France, which Eliot was very excited
about.
This trip was a very expensive one.
And Eliot had already known of his love for opulence and all things, you know, super
pricey.
He hated that Samaya was there with them though.
And after an argument between him and Samaya, Samaya made Eliot stay in the hotel room
all night while she, her and Peter and Georgia went out like for a night out in the town.
Like you can't come with us because we had an argument.
But it wouldn't have been just her though.
Peter had to have like known or at least like didn't say anything if she did that.
Yeah, exactly.
Peter doesn't say shit.
Hmm, cute.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So he always hated trips with Samaya, of course, because they would argue often and
they would take trips often, unfortunately.
Eliot in an effort to be cool had tried several times to integrate himself with kind of the
cool clicks, popular kids or the skateboarders or whatever.
A lot of times these conversations would turn to the topic of girls, you know, which is
the guys, you know, talking with the guys, just one of the guys.
And how soon enough that by middle school everyone was going to start dating and kissing
each other.
Like if we get to middle school we can hold a girl hand, you know.
Yeah, he's like that.
He didn't fully get that.
He was like, I don't understand why that's like a thing.
Why is that a goal?
Like this is school.
Like we're here to get an education kind of a thing, I guess.
He was kind of disgusted by the fact that all of his male peers were like, can't wait
to get into middle school.
We're going to get it, you know.
Well, I'm sure he was also disgusted by relationships in general because he's had a hell of a time
like with his experience of seeing them.
Especially with like, you know, a female.
Yeah.
So, he didn't fully get that.
And I don't think that he really understood that puberty was like going to be a thing.
I don't know what kind of sex education they have in fucking LA or whatever, but essentially
he didn't understand why girls and guys had been separated up until this point.
But then like you get to like a milestone of sorts and then all of a sudden they start
commingling.
It's just weird to me.
Like that whole concept was strange.
So coming into middle school, Elliot was becoming more envious of boys around him.
He would ask himself things like, oh like she is clearly, you know, dough-eyed for this
boy, but like what's so great about him?
Like what's so great about so-and-so?
What's so great about him?
Yeah, I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get that.
I don't get it either.
Like fix your fucking self then if you're worried about it.
If you want to fucking have something worth being looked at like that, I don't fucking
know.
He felt that boys are obnoxious jerks and that girls were dumb for liking them in the
first place.
Yeah, oh yeah.
That's his thing.
We hated both sexes, yeah.
He said about this time that he was realizing that the cool thing to be at this point was
popular with girls.
So skateboarding had kind of worked for a second, bleach tips were kind of working for
a second.
But now the cool thing was to be liked by girls and that's just something that he again didn't
understand.
Cause why are you interested in girls?
Like you were weird cause girls are annoying or whatever he's thinking.
Eventually as the years of middle school progressed, he was friendly with a group enough that some
of the girls in the group would actually hug Elliot as like part of a greeting cause they
would hug everybody and when greeting the group.
And then he felt elation with each hug and this excited him.
Like he was like, ooh, he's a girl hug.
Yeah.
Popped a fucking halfie.
Probably.
Even at school dances, he would be asked to dance a few times and even slow dance.
And this was like a really big deal for him, although he was really conflicted cause ew
girls, right?
Yeah.
He's, he's saying you girls because the girls aren't paying attention to him.
Exactly.
And he's like, ew, like jizzing his pants.
But like other than that, he's like, nope, fuck that.
I don't even like girls.
It's like Timothy McVeigh.
Like I'm going to say I don't like something.
I'm going to make the decision.
It's not the decision being made for me.
Exactly.
It's me.
It's my decision.
So now it's not embarrassing cause I just do that.
Lee Chin would move again.
Around this time, Elliot's best friend James's mother would actually pass away.
And this profoundly affected Elliot who watched his friend mourning the loss of his mother.
Again, just another nurturing figure or a warm mother, you know, female figure just,
you know, not there anymore.
And that it really profoundly affected the person that he cared about.
Another boy in Elliot's grade had been invited over once by Lee Chin when she saw the two
hanging out after school one day.
And this was to Elliot's dismay.
He did not really care for this kid.
He wasn't known for being the most popular kid, this boy, and was easily one of the meanest
kids as well.
After this time of coming over, this kid began to spread a rumor that Elliot's family was
poor and lived in a poor person's house because this was Lee Chin's house.
So he's jealous.
Who?
The kid.
So he made up like the opposite of what his-
No, these are all really affluent kids.
It's just that Lee Chin since the divorce, she didn't have as nice or big of a house
even though it was a three bedroom house.
Oh, okay.
I see what you're saying.
I thought he was like jealous that he had all this stuff so he made up like a rumor
that was like the opposite.
No, these are like crazy affluent kids.
So they all live in really big homes.
But again, Lee Chin's home was a modest three bedroom because she's a divorcee and she didn't
require a lot.
Yeah.
Again, it just wasn't as big as everyone else's.
It became obsessed at this point by proving that he was just as affluent as his peers
and he would constantly need to remind people, my dad's this famous filmmaker, blah, blah.
So it's definitely- it definitely put a stain where it tarnished his reputation.
Yeah.
Elliot, like most kids of the early 2000s, would often be on the computer in chat rooms
using things like AOL and AIM.
AIM.
I love that.
He had tried to make some online friends to kind of supplement his need for attention
from the real world.
As one does.
One of these online friends would actually begin to send Elliot photos of nude women.
This was really strange to Elliot.
Up until now he hadn't seen a naked woman, a fully developed naked woman.
And he felt an intense emotion of desire and also intimidation and fear.
Well, yeah, because he doesn't like women.
He's always like mad at himself for even thinking like in any way good, you know?
Absolutely.
He actually immediately stopped talking to this person after they sent the photos.
He was like traumatized by this.
What the fuck ever.
Summer- sorry, that's a stupid thing to say.
Fuck.
He's like in middle school.
You're a pissing.
I'd tell you that like they could- but ass.
I could pissing.
Pour it on the family computer.
Summer camp came that year and Elliot was playing around with some of his peers, like
running around with people- either kids that he knew or didn't know but just in his age
range.
He had accidentally bumped into a girl that was much bigger than he was, much older.
She turned to Elliot and she began screaming, cussing and pointing at him, completely embarrassing
him in front of everyone around.
Elliot said that this girl was incredibly pretty.
But how could she be so cruel to him?
He said about this quote, cruel treatment from a woman is ten times worse than from
a man.
It made me feel like an insignificant, unworthy little mouse.
End quote.
Which you probably liked.
Mommy?
It's got a mommy complex.
But like be nice to people.
Like honestly, teach your kids to be nice to people.
Yeah.
We said it like a couple episodes ago.
Like if there's a kid in your school that a lot of people see as like maybe kind of
weird, maybe kind of like you know not normative or whatever.
Be nice to them.
Everyone wants people to be nice to them.
It doesn't cost any fucking money to be nice to someone and if someone bumps into you it's
probably a fucking accident.
Well she probably felt like- powerful.
Powerful or cool because she was like older.
Yeah, girls bully boys often.
Of course.
Often, yeah.
In Catherine Knight in the making.
Exactly.
Honey night.
Wherever this poor little girl is.
She's finally made up.
She's listening and she's like fuck those bitches.
Fuck these bitches.
That was a child.
Even with this event, Elliot was jealous when he saw the girl with another boy before the
end of camp.
Of course he was.
Yeah.
He was like, she made me pee my pants.
I love her.
I wish she would like touch me.
I don't know.
I was trying to say something funny and it came out gross.
Like hold hands.
Yeah.
I wish she would hold my hand.
I wish she would yell at me more.
She really yells at that guy a lot.
He definitely despised this other kid because he was talking to this girl.
Of course because it's his fault.
While playing video games at a local LAN center, I love that sentence.
Oh my god.
I used to do that in high school too.
I don't know if you know that.
What?
I used to go to the LAN center and play video games in high school.
Oh really?
Yeah.
I just loved that sentence.
Elliot came across a boy that was watching porn either on his phone or on a PC or something.
He wasn't on his phone.
It was like the 90s, wasn't it?
It was 2000s, early 2000s.
Elliot already had his first cell phone by this point I think.
What year is it?
I don't even think smartphone is right.
What year is it?
No, he wouldn't get his first cell phone until 14 or 15th.
Never mind.
This is going to be like 20, 2000.
It was early 2000s.
But there's no smartphones though.
There's no smartphones though.
He wouldn't be able to watch porn on his phone.
He would have to watch it on the internet.
When did the Blackberry come out?
Like 2005 or something like that?
Yeah, probably two.
Probably watch porn on that.
I don't know.
If there's a will, there's a way.
That's what I'm saying.
Remember when you used to accidentally hit the internet button on your phone and you
had to hit it in like a thousand times before it connected?
Shit, shit, shit.
Before it connected to pay for that sort of luxury?
Before it connected, you had to cancel?
Yeah.
Cancel it connected to the internet.
I remember one of the most old fashioned things I've ever done is that me and my friends
used to send pictures to each other through Bluetooth because you couldn't text message
a picture.
What?
Through Bluetooth?
Through Bluetooth.
We figured out a way to send pictures via Bluetooth.
I didn't know how to work Bluetooth until like six years ago.
It was very weird.
I had no idea that your phone could connect.
I didn't have my first smartphone until 2000 and 15.
I didn't have my first smartphone until 2012, I think, because I was a junior in high school.
Because Justin and I were definitely together and I was working at Whole Foods.
And I was like, how does this work?
How does it know where your fingers are at?
I didn't understand it.
But yeah, me and Zach would send photos, you know, just stupid pictures of her back and
forth via Bluetooth because a text message couldn't hold a photo.
It was so weird.
We were in like middle school.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
I just remember having to stand in the kitchen while talking on the phone with my friends
because it was a cord and we didn't have a cordless.
And anyways.
Oh gosh, we're old.
Well, you'll always be younger.
Just remember that.
So again, Elliot came across this boy watching porn on a PC.
He'll say that for shits and gigs.
On his watch is Apple Watch.
With his hologram.
He's a vampire.
This was Elliot's first exposure to sex with penetration.
So he had never seen that before.
And it was weird to him.
He said that he had always kind of felt these, you know, this arouse like us.
He didn't really know.
He just said feelings.
He just said, I always have these feelings towards women.
But I never knew until now what you actually do with those feelings.
Okay.
If that makes sense.
Like you get aroused and you don't really know what that means.
But then you see two people in acting, you know, sex and you're like, oh, that's what
my brain's trying to tell me.
Yeah.
Is that this is a thing.
This is an act that you do.
This feeling that I have is an act.
And so it really weirded him out, essentially.
Yeah.
He said that he, this also traumatized him, of course, just like the naked pictures of
the woman.
And he felt disgusted with himself.
It was grotesque.
He cried on his walk home because he had no idea what to do with the feelings that he
was having.
It makes sense.
Elliot began to throw himself into more video games at home because he eventually got his
own gaming PC.
In his words, he became addicted and he stopped caring about being shy, reserved or a nerdy
kid at school.
He kind of just embraced it.
He's like, yeah, I'm a computer nerd.
I will tell you, a lot of his manifesto is all about wow and like World of Warcraft and
this PC place that he used to go to, this arcade.
He would talk about that.
He would talk about, I mean, he was essentially just obsessed with World of Warcraft.
That was Anders as well.
Yeah.
Anders Brithic, remember his manifesto too.
He's like, I got into World of Warcraft and now I'm currently playing whatever game he
was playing.
A lot of Elliot's manifesto was what the new game was.
He really kind of tried to like talk about that.
I didn't put it all in here, but every single time he got a new console, he remembered when
he got it.
So it was, you know, Nintendo 64, then it was a PlayStation, then it was an Xbox, then
it was a Game Boy, then he was into Pokemon, then he was into, I mean, it was a lot of
nerd culture stuff.
He also associates his first gaming console with his father, maybe trying to distract him.
So that's probably something that really stuck with him throughout his life.
Like, okay, when things go wrong, at least I get this.
Yeah.
At least I get a video game or whatever.
Absolutely.
I think that you and I both know people that play video games.
I mean, I really know a lot of people that play video games, but some of the times it's
people that have had turmoil in their home and to just drown everything out, you just
play video games.
And it's another world.
Some people play video games, some people read books, some people are really big book
readers, and a lot of the times we also see people that we do cases on that are big book
readers.
Yeah.
And they were just crazy alcoholics and just drink at the side of any kind of upsetness,
which was me as fuck yesterday.
Give me the drink.
I felt really disappointed in myself yesterday because I've been doing really well throughout
the week.
I'm not drinking at all.
And yesterday I got upset at you actually.
LOL.
I know.
And immediately ran to the bar.
I was like, fuck this.
I'm going to the bar.
And then I literally sat there for like two hours by myself.
It was more so just to get out of the house.
It wasn't necessarily to drink, but you know how fucking dry I thought you were still at
home because I, um, where is this before you came home?
No, this was after I got home.
Okay.
I was like, I was like seven hours ago.
Wasn't she at home seven hours ago?
Nope.
Had that truly in my face.
Totally over it now.
Totally over it.
You're so funny.
Little child syndrome.
I'm not going to talk about the fridge.
But I cleaned out the fridge days ago.
And so when I was already asked, I'm not even going to talk about it.
Just move on.
So of course he would get addicted.
But as soon as he started owning his own PC, he also started going through puberty at this
point and he was noticing more and more that girls were like adverse to him.
It's like, oh, they just, they're disgusted by me.
They won't even look at me.
Was he trying to go up and talk to girls or was he just sitting there like this?
Like people watching and being like, no one's coming up to me.
Exactly.
He wanted people to initiate it.
He never wanted to initiate it.
Then you can't bitch and moan about it when you're not even trying.
What about the girls that were giving him hugs?
You can't talk to those girls?
Seriously, I know you well enough.
I'm sorry.
I can't stand that.
It's like you, it's he's, there's the sense of entitlement as well.
Of course people would want to come up to me.
Why wouldn't they?
And then when they don't, it's like, well they're bitches anyway.
Like I hate that.
Les meas.
Oh my God.
Yes.
I love that.
Fucking yes.
Well that was me, right?
Can I get your number?
No.
Lesbians.
I swear to God someone said that to me.
I was like, okay.
Yeah, sure.
I'm a lesbian.
Yeah.
Makes you walk away from me.
I'm a big old lesbian.
Like I want to sit down and get a big little question.
No, I remember one time it's like, no, we were at the bar and me and my girlfriend and
my were at the bar and this guy comes up and he's like, hey mama.
I was like, oh fuck no.
This is like only a couple of years ago.
So me and my girlfriend were dating and obviously like I'm not talking to random guys at the
bar and he comes up and he's like, two of us and then like him and a buddy of his and
he's like, hey can I buy you a drink?
He's in like a fucking knee long like spurs jersey.
Oh no.
He grew up here for sure.
You can buy me a drink.
And I was like, no, no thanks.
Like I had actually just gotten one and usually like if a guy's nice I'll be like sure and
then he's like, oh where are you from?
I'm like, bye.
You know what I mean?
Free drink.
Thanks for the drink.
But no, he was like, can I buy you a drink?
I was like, no it's okay.
He's like, no come on, come on.
I was like, I'm not doing your girl like a round of shots and I was like, no honestly
like I think we're good but thank you though.
Like I appreciate it.
And he goes, ugh.
And I was like, ugh.
Like right back to him and he was like, gave me this look.
I was like, what?
Okay so you can ugh me but I can't ugh you.
Like fuck you.
Ugh.
And then of course all night you know he's like, give me the fucking bombastic side-eye.
Bombastic.
That's awful.
So Elliot was kind of having this complicated feeling about desiring women and also in a
weird way finding it arousing that they took pleasure in picking on him and being mean
to him and he called them heartless creatures.
Mommy.
That's so nice.
Discipline me mommy.
Seriously.
That's seriously what he's going through.
I was talking to two girls at work today and I was talking about mom's potato salad
recipe but I accidentally said mommy because I said mom and then I said my mom and then
I kept talking and I was like, I'm sorry it sounded like I said mommy just now and the
girl was like, oh my god I was like, don't look at her, don't look at her, don't look
at her, don't look at her.
The thing I was like, I'm not weird.
I was like laughing about.
I was like I promise I don't say mommy casually.
My mommy's potato salad.
Oh your mom made this?
No my mom doesn't make potato salad but my mommy does.
I've already presented myself as a weird person at work but you know what I'm going to do
about it?
I'm going to make friends and be nice and keep trying.
I'm not going to get you.
You're not going to be an Elliot.
Yeah exactly.
Elliot couldn't stay on the idea that high school was supposedly more trying than middle
school when it came to connecting with girls.
He actually begged his parents to enroll him in an all boys' Catholic school.
You would think that like one person would think maybe like it's a fresh start.
Like oh there's going to be so many new opportunities for me to meet people.
It's just going to be the same shit over and over.
Yeah we'll get there.
At this point he was terrified of girls, his words.
Further complicating things at home, Samaya would actually birth a child with Peter having
a boy essentially pushing Elliot farther away from getting the attention from his dad that
he craved because now there's a new baby.
When Elliot started high school instead of feeling the comfort of not having any girls
around because he did get enrolled in that all boys' school he was like oh gosh there's
not going to be any girls.
This is going to be a smooth year.
He actually became intimidated by all the good looking tall men at the school.
It's not one thing it's another.
Yeah then he's like oh shit now I'm the small fry.
Like yeah.
What?
Small fry.
He has a little small fry.
Just a funny term.
He was a little twig.
Okay but yeah again it's the entitlement thing.
If it's not one thing it's another.
I have to have something to bitch about.
Yeah exactly.
I have to have an excuse for my behavior.
So anything I can pull and pick at when I'm younger that's what I'm going to put my manifesto
to make it okay for me to do what I'm about to do.
And that has nothing to do with anything.
It's just an excuse.
Elliot would soon experience bullying as he was still much smaller and much weaker looking
than the rest of the boys.
One boy who had gone to elementary school with Elliot was also attending this all boys school
as well.
He told everyone that Elliot was a weirdo.
Elliot had confided in another schoolmate that he was fearful of girls so everyone quickly
started calling him the F slur they thought he was gay.
Oh that's sad.
See that's understandable.
That one instance.
It's not just the fact that there was taller guys there.
No yeah that he was like well I don't really know.
Oh so like you'd done it before because they're in high school and he's like actually no I
haven't and girls are disgusting so oh so you must be gay.
Yeah exactly.
That's awful.
Boys would often take things from Elliot and run away in an effort to get Elliot to chase
them and in order for him to regain his things he always felt defeated because he could never
catch up because he was just little.
It was like monkey in the middle.
That's really sad.
I don't like that.
It is.
It's just bullying.
He went here to escape mental bullying I guess you know because of girls.
Do you better people?
Sometimes Elliot would wait for hallways to clear just so that other kids wouldn't be
in the hallways so he could just book it to class like for the last minute.
And teachers like didn't notice these things?
No probably not.
Just boys being boys.
Boys and the people.
Locker room talk.
Elliot would begin to masturbate in high school.
He considered himself to be a person with a very high sex drive as well although porn
and girls did scare him still.
He would avoid looking at porn on his computer but he would scroll around the internet looking
for ads just to find a pretty girl to masturbate to.
Like essentially what you would do with like a Victoria's Secret catalog instead of looking
at porn because porn grossed him out.
Sex in general grossed him out.
He did do this regularly.
Like he said it was pretty much a habitual problem.
He would overhear conversations between boys at school about their sexual experiences and
Elliot was grossed out and disturbed by this of course.
He couldn't understand that he was already at the age where his peers were doing all of
the things that he was witnessing on porn sites or whatever.
Whatever memories he had of that.
Elliot distinctly remembers one boy who had actually audio recorded him and his girlfriend
engaged in sexual activity.
Oh that's fucking gross.
I'd be like get that the fuck away from me.
It's already gross.
I don't need to be Elliot Roger to know that's fucking gross.
I agree with him on that one.
Ew.
I don't need to hear that thank you idiot.
To be playing that to like people at school that's so gross.
Oh my god.
Lord help me if I ever have boys.
That's fucking gross.
High schoolers are fucking mean.
That boy's got feminine hits.
So that's the thing I'm sensitive about.
Elliot would be even more disturbed when he was told that he would not be returning to
the all boys school the following year.
So he only went for one year and his parents were like you're going to public school.
Wouldn't he be like woohoo I'm going to get away from these guys.
But he doesn't want to be around girls though.
Not only that but he's going to go to public school.
So up until this point he'd essentially go into private schools.
Yeah.
Well if anyone can't tell by now I'm definitely a silver lining.
Kind of gal.
You're like in the fucking rain clouds.
And I'm like what about this.
He's a Debbie Downer for sure.
Nobody would want to hang out with him.
So yes he was to attend public school and he was also attending public school and maybe
like to him not the most affluent area.
So this really this just upset him.
And he deserves the world because he has a pool in his backyard.
This was almost a punishment though because in the private school his grades weren't all
that great.
So they were like you're going to go to public school.
Like if you can't keep up your grades.
You're paying all this tuition for you to just fail.
Yeah I was just saying it's expensive.
Yeah absolutely.
So again because he wasn't doing so well in his courses he actually had to attend summer
school so it was like immediately.
Like you aren't going to this private school anymore.
You're immediately going to be thrusted into public school no summer vacation.
Damn.
Yeah.
That's got to be rough.
I can't.
I don't like that.
Of course Elliot was bullied right away as soon as the regular semester were to start.
He still dressed preppy from private school and he was immediately shoved into lockers
called a loser.
God.
This was just the first week of the fall semester by the way.
I feel like this is a little exaggeratory on his part.
Well again.
All of the hot girls were dating jock assholes and the attention Elliot was getting wasn't
from them but from their boyfriends because he just had a target on his back.
Yeah of course not.
Quote it's like their evil acts are rewarded by women while the good decent men are laughed
at.
End quote.
I can't fucking.
Why do guys girls always pick mean guys.
Why do you finish last.
I hate that.
My boyfriend's very fucking nice.
Okay.
He's kind of a jock but he's very fucking nice.
He's kind of a jock.
He doesn't play baseball.
I love him.
Okay he's a nice guy.
He treats me well.
He doesn't pout when things don't go his way.
Yes.
I mean no one should.
I feel like no adult should pout when things don't go their way but he's also a child.
He is a child technically.
He's 15, 16 at this point I think.
But he's an adult writing about this.
Yeah.
When it was Elliot's turn to stay with Li Chen the following week he cried to his mother
and begged her not to take him back to public school and instead of dropping him off that
day she decided to take him to a cafe instead so they could talk.
Oh that's nice of her.
I know Li Chen's so sweet.
She listened to Elliot about all of his concerns that he was experiencing at the school and
when Li Chen brought this up to Peter they both agreed to switch schools but again he's
switching schools again.
Okay.
Yeah still a new, there's no consistency.
Yeah there's no permanency.
No permanency, no routine, new school, new house, new family, new stepmom, new baby, new
city, new state, whatever.
Yeah.
His whole life.
Also since the last time I mentioned that the parents have moved I didn't put every single
fucking time that they moved in here but they've already at this point probably moved
three or four more times and I didn't even say it.
It's just constant, constant.
I couldn't even do that as an adult.
How are the adults doing this willingly?
It definitely seemed like every year they were, each of them were moving.
God that's kind of new.
I don't know why.
I don't know how they could afford that.
So Elliot would enroll in continuation school which is almost like homeschooling but it's
what it's here it's called ACE Academy but in other places essentially semi homeschooling
because you're only on campus for like three hours but it's in lieu of getting a GED you
can still get a high school equivalent or a diploma.
Yes.
What does it call the alternative continuing education or something like that?
I think you're right.
I think it's alternative continuing education.
I don't know.
But yeah, here we call it ACE.
So this gave Elliot plenty of time to play more video games at home.
Sometimes up to 14 hours a day.
Eww ew.
I was doing the wow.
The wow.
The W.
I thought you were doing ooloo.
I just said ooloo with the fingers.
God I can't.
I can't.
I love you all.
I won't always ooloo for you.
I one time sent that to Dana.
I said like can we go get white claws or something like that.
I did that like emoji and I immediately responded.
I was like you know please ignore that.
Please disregard the architecture.
I just cringed myself out so hard.
I did it with like the happy tear face.
Yeah.
Oh my god I can't do it.
Eww.
So gross.
So when Elliot was 15 or 16 years old he actually saved his little brother Jazz from drowning
in a pool at a pool party.
What?
He and one other child were the only eyewitnesses to this.
He said that the adults essentially had turned their backs and Jazz was only his brother.
He was like three or four maybe I guess at this point right?
Because I think Jazz was born well maybe four or five.
He was little but he did not know how to swim and he fell into the pool.
Elliot says about this incident quote, every single second of my brother's life everything
that happens to him in the future will exist because I pulled him out of that water that
day end quote.
I fucking hate this guy.
So fucking narcissistic.
So narcissistic.
He lived.
So my, it's my doing that you're even here on this earth.
Imagine how many times he's used that in an argument with his brother.
Well you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me.
Well his brother wouldn't be old enough to argue with him by the time Elliot does what
he does.
Okay well imagine how many times he used that in general or like with his parents.
You wouldn't even have that son.
Eww.
It's like scar.
I don't know why that reminded me of scar.
Scar and Mufasa.
A monkey's uncle.
Elliot was becoming increasingly discouraged about finding a partner the older he got.
He would witness people younger than him, freshmen and sophomores in relationships but
yet he didn't have one.
Bro there's like 45 year old people that are still single and waiting for their soulmate.
Calm down.
You're like 17.
Well you gotta call me out like that.
You're not 45.
I will be.
I will be one day and I will be single damn it.
Have you seen that really quick?
Sean Patton is a comedian.
Have you heard of his name?
He does like his whole bit.
It's really fucking funny.
It's on Q-Men and he calls it Cummin and it's fucking funny.
But anyway he lived with this roommate and like him and his buddies came over.
He was living with a roommate.
It was like an acquaintance of his that they grew up together but they weren't friends.
And he had invited some people over and the roommate would get so mad when he would say
Cummin instead of Cummin but he didn't know why so he kept fucking with him and he's like
hey boys.
His friends would come over to see the new place and say welcome to the new digs.
Can I offer you some Ritz crackers and Cummin?
He says it really loud.
His roommate comes out and is really upset and he's crying.
And the roommate's like oh my god fuck you.
Shut the fuck up.
He's like I fucking hope you all die someday.
Sean Patton's like well we will.
He's like nice one.
Nice one man.
Watch that stand up if you haven't seen it.
Reminded me of I know we talked about Vanderpump rules recently and how we've been obsessed
with that but that line that will forever be synonymous with Scandival.
Ariana, Tom's walking into the kitchen and he goes what does he say?
Do you want anything?
And she goes for you to die.
And he goes well it's inevitable.
Oh my god that's hilarious.
Oh my god like she's so pissed.
For you to die.
I also just remembered or I realized just now that that was me like talking way too fucking
fast for anyone else over there.
Oh it's fine.
I told you about Kimmy and Frankie having that conversation.
I was like it's just sister speed.
Just so used to your sister.
You just talk like super duper fast.
When you sit here for long enough you forget that you can hear your own voice in your headphones
so you just think you're having a normal conversation.
You forget that you're actually on the podcast so just talk normally instead of annunciate.
At one family friend's event Elliot watched as a 12 year old boy made out with a girl
Elliot's age.
So again this is another reason why he was livid.
What does he have that I don't?
Exactly he's 12 and he's making out with a girl.
He hasn't even had his first kiss.
I wonder why?
Because you're fucking pouty McPouter sent over there.
Elliot began to fantasize about having a girlfriend.
She was tall, blonde with a rock and bod.
I said that he didn't say that I said that.
This is a little rock and bod.
Well because he goes into more detail but I'm not going to talk about essentially somebody
who would be 16 years old like that.
So does it rock and bod?
I don't know she might be like Pamela Anderson though.
She could be like in her 30s or 40s.
He does have a mommy complex after all apparently.
He held on to this thought in case it ever came up in conversations with others.
Like yeah I totally have a girlfriend.
She doesn't go to this school though.
She goes to another school.
You wouldn't know her.
She's from Canada.
You don't know her.
Exactly.
What's your name?
Microphone stand.
You wouldn't know her.
His parents would often ask if there was a love interest in Elliot's life and Elliot
tried to convince his parents that he was just too busy with school or video games to
even care about girls.
Again making it his idea.
Oh I'm just too busy.
Oh I'm far too busy for that mother.
I just cannot even fathom the thought.
It is like a different life though because here he's telling his parents, I don't even
care about girls but he's fantasizing about, he essentially made up a girlfriend in his
head in case anybody were to ask him if he had a girlfriend.
Like anybody was trying to impress essentially.
Yeah exactly.
Oh my gosh that's so weird.
No I'm sorry I don't want to say weird because-
It's weird.
It's funny.
Elliot says quote, one day I found some posts on the internet about teenagers having sex
and I was once again reminded of the life that I had been denied.
I felt that no girl would ever want to have sex with me and I developed extreme feelings
of envy, hatred and anger towards anyone who had a sex life.
I saw them as the enemy.
I felt condemned to live a life of lone celibacy while other boys were allowed to experience
the sexual- the pleasures of sex.
All because girls didn't want me.
I felt inferior and undesirable.
This time however I couldn't just stand by and accept such an injustice anymore.
I refused to continue hiding away from the world and forgetting about all the insults
it dealt to me.
I began to have fantasies of becoming very powerful and stopping everyone from having
sex.
I wanted to take their sex away from them just like they took it away from me.
I saw sex as an evil and barbaric act, all because I was unable to have it.
This was a major turning point.
My anger made me stronger inside.
This is when I formed my ideas that sex should be outlawed.
It is the only way to make the world a fair and just place.
If I can't have it, I will destroy it.
That's the conclusion that I came to, right then and there.
I spent more time studying the world.
Seeing the world for the horrible, unfair place it is.
I then had the revelation that just because I was condemned to suffer a life of loneliness
and rejection doesn't mean that I am insignificant.
I have an exceptionally high level of intelligence.
I see the world differently than anyone else.
Because of all the injustices I went through and the world view I developed because of
them, I must be destined for greatness.
I must be destined to change the world, to shape it into an image that suits me."
How are you feeling over there?
There's about 8,751 things wrong with what he just said.
Isn't that a rent song?
What?
700s and I'm in it.
I just made up a very random number I have no idea.
I would be very surprised.
Not hilarious.
Yeah.
Okay, first of all, he's acting like he's in prison and he doesn't have any free will
or any say in anything that he does.
Who the fuck is this wee shit that you keep talking about or these people that made you
this life?
They made me this way.
No one fucking did anything to you.
They made me this way.
And also, fuck you.
I'm better than everyone.
Like literally he's saying I'm better than everyone and if I can't have it, nobody can.
Exactly.
What a pussy motherfucker.
Oh my god, I hate this.
Outlaw sucks.
Just outlaw it.
Because I can't have it.
So that means no one's allowed to have it.
Just because I couldn't have any cake at my birthday, no one else is allowed to have it.
Like literally it's just four year old fucking mindset.
Oh my god.
Did you just like laugh through your teeth?
Because it sounded like someone was behind me going shh.
I just scared the fucking shit out of me.
I did, I just laughed.
I have to look back and listen to that.
Okay, it's been like maybe a minute or two of us trying to figure this out.
I'm already saying yeah before that even finishes, before that noise finishes.
I really hope that comes through on the actual podcast.
Yeah, sometimes we hear things on the mic that you can't hear.
And then you play it.
If you need to go back, rewind it and turn it up because right when I'm saying it.
It sounds like shh.
It sounds like, and then I got a cold chill.
I'm not even fucking joking.
When we turned off the recording, I got like a weird fucking cold chill.
I was like, I remember laughing but I laughed right before that and so that's what I thought
you were thinking about.
I don't know.
I didn't fucking care for that shit at all.
Weird is that I didn't hear it when that happened.
Like when it first happened but then listening back I was like that's exactly the way you
described it but I didn't hear it the first time.
That's so weird.
I was thinking because our niece is over here too right now, I was thinking she like snuck
into the room.
Yeah.
Because when I leaned out of the closet to look, I didn't see anybody but there's also
a wall like next to the bed and so I got out of the closet to like look around the
wall and no one's in the room.
Dude, that's fucking freaky.
That was weird.
I guess I'll just shut the fuck up because it kind of sounds like someone wants me to
be quiet.
It's like shh.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say that and that's also a little freaky as well because that's where we're
gonna end today.
Oh man.
Okay.
This is gonna be the quote.
This is gonna be like you know, Elliot Roger just saying like I've had enough of this
bullshit kind of stuff and we will re-adjure next Thursday.
Damn, that's wild.
So I think maybe we should just wait perhaps so the end of episode two to kind of discuss
maybe some sort of mental disorder or any kind of childhood.
I mean we've already heard a lot of neglect, a lot of you know, almost nature like immediate
narcissism at birth like you know kind of making his father.
And of course this is all through Elliot's perspective at this point but there will be
in chapter two there will be more in-depth look as to again like you said what he might
have been experiencing from other people looking in because again this is all his perspective,
his words so far.
So.
Damn.
Okay well I guess for now we're just gonna shh.
And we will see you guys next week.
Alright.
Love you.
Bye.
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