Hello! Hello! Welcome back to Diagnosing a Killer, The Mental Breakdown.
Ooh!
I'm Kenna, I'm Koelle, and this is a good one for you guys today. I'm excited.
After all that Apple white shit though, it's kind of like Apple shit. Apple site.
We got some really good feedback from that episode. It's only been on for one day and
we've got some really good feedback already.
A few comments.
Thank you guys for continuing to talk to us and hang out with us. If you don't have us
on social media, we are at diagnosing a killer on every platform. Twitter is killer diagnosis,
at killer diagnosis, and then we do have a Patreon setup. We were actually just discussing
the Patreon right before we started recording. Those ad free episodes are going to start
since we just started our tiers, we're going to start our ad free episodes from there.
So from here on out, there will be ad free episodes on our Patreons only for the $20
month tier. So if you're interested in ad free episodes, you can go ahead and subscribe
to the Patreon and access those. Of course, if you don't subscribe to the Patreon, we'll
still have our episodes on the regular streaming platforms.
But yeah, that's just an additional benefit of that. And what else do we have? I don't
know if anybody heard in the last episode that we will be having a booth ready at True
Crime and Paranormal Podcast Festival coming up in August in Austin. Once again, once we
get that website up and running, you'll be able to use our coupon code, receive 15%
off of those tickets and come visit us. We're going to have merch.
And this probably goes without saying, but just because I know we have a lot of listeners
outside of Texas, it is Austin, Texas that we're going to be in. I feel like we have
to say that now since it's not just our friends here in the same town that we live in. It's
not Austin, Massachusetts. It's Austin, Texas. Exactly. Well, you never know. Some people
might not hear it. But yeah, so that is really exciting. We're going to start getting that
merch together again. If you guys have any suggestions over any quotes or anything you
want on a t-shirt, that would be awesome to suggest to us. And we're looking for merch
ideas. Let us know your favorite catchphrase. Definitely. Well, we're just going to get
right into this mental breakdown. I decided to do today the seven pillars of self-care.
Because self-care is very important. Of course, we always say that your mental health is very
important as well. So there are seven pillars of self-care that have been described in media
and online that I kind of dissect here for you guys. So we'll just get right into it.
Again, we say all the time, self-care and mental health is very important. But if you've never
indulged in self-care or you don't really know much about what it means to engage in
self-care, where do you start, right? Pornhub. I mean, do your thing. That's what you feel
like. So again, we're going to be diving into the seven pillars, what they entail, and then
ways to implement them into your life. So first and foremost, the first pillar we're
going to be talking about is perhaps the most important, in my opinion, is mental. Mental
self-care. So mental self-care involves creating and maintaining a healthy mindset while simultaneously
engaging in mindfulness and curiosity. If your mentality is clouded, you cannot become
mindful and therefore it can be damaging to your mental health. We are all guilty of it,
letting something small consume your mind or maybe something big consume your mind. And
it seems like, at least in my experience, it's something that you can't not think about
for days on end. It kind of just consumes your mind. It can even go as far as weeks
or months. Becoming mindful and aware of how to clear your mind when these things happen
can really be helpful in maintaining, again, mental health in general. So one way to engage
in mental self-care is meditation. Meditation has been proven to lower stress, reduce anxiety,
reduce memory loss, improve self-awareness, enhance mental health, improve sleep, and
even generate empathy and kindness. Isn't that sweet?
I need to meditate more. I know. I'm like, damn. I probably only engaged in one meditation
session in school because we kind of had to for dance or whatever, but it wasn't bad.
I understand why a lot of people lean towards it. So in a nutshell, meditation causes a shift
in your awareness, something that is very important when becoming mindful and of course
taking care of your mental health. Another way to engage in mental self-care is to write
in a journal. It's been proven that when you write down your thoughts, especially your
worries, since you can see them as words instead of a mindset, they actually become smaller
in your mind because you can see the word on a piece of paper rather than this giant
issue that your mind can trick you into thinking it is.
That's really interesting. I think I have been in situations where we come from such
an emotional standpoint, it's hard to seal the root issue until you start breaking it
down. And you're like, as soon as you start breaking it down in maybe psychology terms
or those signs and symptoms that we talk about with certain disorders, it's so much easier
to remove that emotion and be like, okay, it has now become almost like tactile in a
weird way that you can see it or you talk about it in a very non-left brain approach.
So yeah, that's really interesting. So writing it down would essentially kind of do the same
thing.
Especially for a task list, so this is my next point. It's also true for writing down
your tasks or your errands for the day or the week. Being able to look at those words
on paper and check them off as you do them is actually really helpful because again,
you have it, it's more organized in that way and it's not like, we used to do this at my
old job. If I would say, I have all this stuff to do, I have all this stuff to do, okay,
what do you have to do? Let's write it down and then you look at your paper and you go,
wait a second, I don't actually have that much to do. It's just made it me think I
did in my mind, right?
I was doing that with the website actually. I was like, okay, I have to change this part
and then let me connect that link and then I looked at it and I just, I was like, oh,
well, that was easy. It took me like two seconds to do. But it seemed like I was like, oh my
gosh, I have all these things to do.
And it can be really overwhelming, especially when it's maybe some things that you have
to do and you don't feel like you have enough time to do them.
Taking a break from social media and technology in general is also a great way to clear your
mind and reset. I'm sure everyone is kind of aware of that in today's world. This is
especially true right before bedtime. Studies showing that putting the screen away for at
least an hour before bed will improve sleep and in turn improve your daily life because
you will be well rested.
The second pillar coming in at number two, the hot 100.
The second pillar of self care is emotional. This involves taking care of matters of the
heart, developing healthy coping strategies and being able to practice self compassion.
Oh, self compassion.
That's so important. Being able to forgive yourself for maybe it's something that you
made a mistake on or maybe something that you said that you're like, wow, that's really
not me. I shouldn't have said that or vice versa. Practicing self compassion is something
that I need to work on because I'm so hard on myself.
Yeah, you idiot.
Like I'll come home the next morning.
I'll make a bad like, ah, but I'm done.
So when you're able to indulge in emotional self care, you'll be able to develop healthy
responses to your emotions while also being able to deal with your challenges better.
One way to tap into your emotional self care is to watch a deep movie, which I didn't know.
Being able to sink into an emotionally healthy movie is a great way to release your feelings
in a healthy way. This may seem silly to some people because you don't want to become emotional
when you're feeling emotional. But again, releasing your emotions by relating them to
something you're watching is a great way to get your hormones like balanced again.
That's interesting. Yeah.
Yeah. I've always felt like when I have a panic attack coming on, I need to make myself
cry.
No, same.
I know that sounds bizarre, but I know it's the only thing that's going to like regulate
my breathing, especially my breathing because my chest gets so tight. So I'm like, as much
as I try to fight it, I just want to cry.
It's also the same for the opposite. Like sometimes I'll be watching a show and I'll
get too invested in it and it'll cause me to have a panic attack. So I need to turn
that off.
You know what I mean? So you got to be kind of aware of which time you should. But you
know, sometimes if I'm feeling sad, I'll watch fucking Homeward Bound. Let's go.
Peter.
It's the arms.
Oh my gosh.
It's sad, but it's sad.
It makes you cry and then you're like, okay, I feel better.
Sally Field is sassy is like the coolest thing.
Oh, she's so damn cute. I love her.
Sassy, not the actress. I don't know who that is.
Sally Field?
Well, I mean, I guess I know who it is because she plays Sassy, but yeah.
She's the ex-wife and Mrs. Doubtfire.
Oh, okay.
She's yeah. She's a forest gums mom.
Yep.
I know that is.
Sally Field.
And she's Sibyl.
Yeah, Sibyl.
Haven't seen that movie in forever.
I haven't either.
Moviecation.
Oh, speaking of that Brady message, Dustin, he said that he has not seen Dark Star, but
he will now.
Yes.
Listening to your favorite music is also a great way to get in touch with your emotional
self-care, which will, of course, induce serotonin and keep your mood positive.
Writing down positive affirmations is also a great way to practice emotional self-care,
especially when you put them in commonly seen, like on commonly seen objects like your bathroom
mirror, right by your bed or even on like your phone's like home screen.
Yeah.
I like doing that because I haven't, you see it all the time.
I have a post it by my monitor.
I look at your post it by your monitor and it helps me.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, I like that.
One of the biggest things you can do for your emotional health is to ask for help when
you need it.
A lot of people have a hard time asking for help with emotions out of fear of being shamed,
misunderstood or neglected.
In reality, asking for advice can help with clarity on a topic of struggle and improve
your connections with others.
If someone's able to help you with an emotional struggle, your relationship will, of course,
become stronger because of them.
That makes sense.
I like that though.
Yeah.
And finally, setting boundaries to protect your time and energy is very important when
it comes to your emotional health.
Being able to have time by yourself and for yourself is a great chance to reflect on your
mindset and mental health.
And it's commonly said, I'm sure we've all heard this at one point or another, that you
need to be able to be okay with being alone in order to be with somebody else.
Be able to love yourself before loving someone else.
It sounds cliche, but it's true.
Thanks, Rue.
Now, the third pillar of self-care.
I honestly, pillar every time.
Pillar.
Why?
Because it just sounds funny.
I don't know.
The third pillar of self-care.
I keep saying self.
Like death and death.
Another one.
The third one is physical.
Physical self-care involves taking care of your body with good hygiene, proper sleep,
nutrition, and exercise.
So being able to involve all of these things in your daily life has been proven to dramatically
increase mood, boost self-esteem, and increase energy levels.
Some ways to practice physical self-care is by eating meals at regular times, so like
breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time, which I do not do ever.
I don't.
I've just been proven to help.
Breakfast is coffee.
I don't even eat.
Yeah.
And then after that is linner.
And that's it.
I was going to say, I don't really eat lunch.
I eat breakfast and I eat linner.
Also getting the proper amount of sleep for your body type.
Of course, this may take some getting used to and trying, but you should be able to figure
out the amount of sleep your body works the best on if you haven't already.
It's kind of, you have to figure that one out for your own body.
I just sleep whenever I want to sleep.
That's kind of my, whenever I feel like sleeping.
And then I wake up whenever I feel like waking up.
That's true.
I feel like I've narrowed mine down to like seven hours.
It's good.
Yeah.
Because five is like, not enough.
I'm like more than seven.
I feel groggy.
I've definitely, you know, set my alarm for six, six thirty in the morning and been able
to wake up even though I'm up until three and then still function for quite a few hours
and then probably take a nap around two.
I can't do that at all.
Yeah.
You're a strange one.
Mr. Grinch.
Not all the time.
I have a week on and week off because of the kiddo.
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Taking daily vitamins or probiotic is also proven to be helpful to your physical well-being
as well as drinking more water.
Of course, everyone.
No, I feel like a lot of people are guilty about not drinking a lot of water or enough
water.
In fact, studies show that almost half of U.S. citizens admitted to not drinking the
recommended amount of water.
I want to go to one of those IV clinics.
Can we do that this year for my birthday?
I always want to go every year for my birthday.
How to drink my water.
I always wanted to go for my birthday or something like that.
Yeah, I'm down.
Or next time.
Because I wanted to go before we went to New York, remember?
And so I wanted to go to one of those IV clinics where they give you all the electrolytes
and rehydrate you.
I mean, not that I don't want to cheat.
I do enjoy water.
I drink water.
If I'm not drinking, I'll go all in.
I'm drinking water for the most part.
I'm coffee for breakfast.
I'm really good about drinking water.
I like water though.
I like water too.
I can't function without the coffee.
I need water.
And I have to have bedside water.
I was just going to say that before I go to bed, I have to have water.
And if the water by my bed is not enough for me and Casey to share, I get another one
because I know he's going to drink mine in the middle of the night.
For sure.
And I'm like, I need my water.
It's like the worst when you wake up, you're like...
You're talking to a stuck dude.
You're like a fucking raisin.
I'm a fucking raisin.
I need water.
I'm getting thirsty.
Now lastly, trying a new way of exercising is also a very good way to practice physical
self-care.
If you're engaging in a new activity, you're not only learning something new for your physical
body, but you're also learning something new for your mental health.
That makes sense.
Yeah, right.
You're learning and you're learning.
I just need to get back on that beat saber.
Oh my God.
I miss doing that.
We can do it anytime.
It's true.
The fourth pela of self-care.
Self.
Jesus.
Sky.
I'm saying pela.
The fourth pillar of self-care.
Yeah, see, it works.
It is environmental.
So environmental self-care...
So environment...
What?
Like, get it out of my mouth.
You just tongue-jotted.
I didn't.
Nope.
I don't like that.
Environmental self-care involves taking care of the spaces and places around you, most
commonly the places that you spend most of your time.
So your room, your common living area, your car, anywhere that you spend a lot of time
and that is yours solely to maintain.
Keeping your common spaces that you are around clean and organized will not only increase
your mood by being able to relax comfortably and lessen anxiety, but it will also give
you a sense of belonging to where you are.
Having the power to decide where everything goes and what design some places are going
to look like gives you a sense of accomplishment and belonging.
That's nice.
I didn't even think about it that way.
Not only it's like I feel good laying in a clean room and a clean bed, but it's like
I did all this.
This is my stuff.
I put everything where they are.
Clean out your ex's stuff because I hung on to mine for way too long.
It's easier...
I'll be the first to say it's easier to leave stuff there.
It is.
I'm terrified.
It's not mine.
He left all of his shit here so I was like, you know what?
I'm just not even going to do this anymore because I'm just thinking one day I'm just
going to package it all up and send it to him and that's a lie.
You're not going to.
That makes me a liar.
So I just got rid of all of it.
Some ways to engage in environmental self-care also are decluttering your living space or
arranging your workspace to be more comfortable if necessary.
Going outside for a walk is also a good way to engage in environmental self-care because
being able to see your surroundings while getting fresh air has actually been proven
to lessen worry and create a comfortability in your neighborhood or your area of living.
What?
I'm watching your hand movements and they were really sweet.
It was like this waving in the air when you were talking about the air and it was really
fresh air outside.
But for real, I feel more comfortable in our neighborhood because I've ran and walked around
the neighborhood.
You can see that.
Exactly.
I know that the people on the first street that have the little baby with the swing in
their yard are nice because they wave to me every time.
I know I can go to them for help if I need to.
Lastly, appealing to your five senses is also a great way to tap into your emotional self-care.
So some ways you can do this are by putting on comfy clothes or sipping a warm or cold
drink, whichever you prefer, putting on your favorite music or podcast.
If it's us, please tell us.
And dimming the lights or lighting a candle.
So kind of appealing to the visual, the feel, all that stuff.
Number five is spiritual.
Stay with me.
Nope.
I'm out of here.
I'm leaving.
Spiritual self-care is not necessarily about religion, but it's also taking care of your
soul by involving yourself in activities that provide a sense of purpose, direction,
or meaning in your life.
When you spend time in nature identifying your values and what's meaningful to you or
figuring out your own personal meaning of life, it's easier to maintain your mental
health because you have something kind of grounding you.
This again does not have to be spiritual even or religious and can even be practiced by
volunteering for projects or causes that you feel passionate about.
Anything that can help you feel more grounded and develop a sense of belonging in life is
beneficial and it is a way to engage your spiritual self-care.
Number six is recreational.
Recreational self-care involves tapping into your inner child and engaging in activities,
fun, new hobbies, and experiences.
I like that one.
Recreation is super important to mental health because it's a way to get away from your
daily schedule and hectic life and enjoy something new and exciting.
Some ways to engage in your recreational self-care would be playing maybe like a new board game
or a video game or one in general or taking time for hobbies or creating activities.
Studies show that if you engage in a hobby frequently, you're less likely to suffer from
stress, low mood, and depression.
Like the podcast.
Like this is our recreational self-care.
It totally is.
And even though it's really shitty content sometimes that we talk about, we're helping
people.
We're reaching audiences.
We're reaching...
And even with this, we're helping people learn about the seven pillars of self-care
by doing our number six activities that get you out and about can make you feel happier
and more relaxed.
And group activities can also improve your communication skills and relationships with
others.
Is going to the bar and singing karaoke, is that a group activity?
Oh yeah, that's recreational for sure.
I need that every day.
Me and Dana were talking about joining like a volleyball league here in town.
You can also tap into your recreational self-care by doing absolutely nothing and taking the
time to enjoy that.
If your recreational goals are to take some time out of your hectic day or week to relax
and that's absolutely beneficial to your mental health.
I like that.
If you don't think that you have enough time to take time for yourself, even rearranging
or switching up your routine can be beneficial because it's constantly challenging your mind
to engage in every activity that you're doing.
Instead of just going through the motions kind of like on autopilot.
I have the heaps right now.
Really?
Why?
Because I like stuff like this.
I like when people do things for themselves and everyone's nice.
Clearly, I'm going through some shit.
Before we started recording, I told Ken I was like, you know what I really wanted to
do lately for a mental breakdown is something about stress relief.
She's like, okay, well, don't do that.
Because I'm doing it.
Because I'm going to do it.
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
Oh man.
All right.
Lastly, so number seven is social self-care.
Okay.
So not necessarily recreational, right?
Because we said that recreational can be by yourself as well.
This is different.
So shut up.
This is different.
Even though self-care is just that self-care, it's important to connect with other human
beings on a regular basis.
Studies show that talking to someone within the first five minutes of waking up face to
face, like talking to someone face to face, can significantly boost your happiness throughout
the day and your ability to connect with people in general.
What?
Did I say that weird cry?
Oh, just talk to me.
Why?
Why are you crying?
I'm fine.
It's significantly like, it heightens your day.
Seriously.
Okay.
Social self-care means cultivating healthy relationships with people and connecting with
people that actually get you.
Maintaining all of these seven pillars of care will even help you seek out the positive relationships
that you need in life and be able to set boundaries with the ones that may not be so positive.
Hell yeah.
I love that.
Hell yeah.
Because you know what?
Unfortunately, everyone's going to run into someone that is not going to be the perfect
person for them and they may or may not have to be in constant communication with that
person, whether it's work or family or whatever.
So odds are you're going to run into someone that you don't mesh with completely.
Setting boundaries is the best way to maintain those relationships from afar.
I think that with this included, all of these pillars, you might be able to find your self-worth
and appreciation for yourself and once you start taking care of yourself like this, you're
probably not going to want to let a lot of people destroy that.
Exactly.
It's your hard work.
Exactly.
And so just to wrap up, social self-care also includes calling or seeing your relatives
or friends, writing a letter or a friend to a friend or a text, even finding a community
to join such as like, maybe like a fraternity or sorority or a job or a group of people
that have similar interests with you.
All of these things can be beneficial to your social self-care.
And lastly, if you find yourself in need of a little bit more social support, talking
to a support group has actually been proven to be very beneficial as well because people
in that group, they're in the group because they have a similar situation as you or a
similar experience as you.
Or need.
Or need, exactly.
So that is the seven pillars.
I know those are really quick.
I like that though.
Thank you for bringing the topic.
I feel like anybody can benefit from a list like this.
So yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
I was just talking about it earlier.
And I know that we've done diagnoses and we've done little kind of cases, I guess, or situations
like the Stanford Prison Experiment kind of things like that.
But I don't really think that we've talked about like, what do you do to maintain your
mental health?
And also another reason why I got, I was thinking of it is like indulging yourself in all of
this content all the time, especially on a platform like this where it's really heavy
content, you need to be able to maintain your mindfulness and clear your mind and be able
to utilize these practices to get away from that.
Because I feel like, I mean, I listen to true crime literally like pretty much all day every
day.
Me too.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
And so, and I don't even realize until I'm like, oh my God, like my brain hurts.
Like, I'm like, I'm sad because I've been listening to this horrendous shit all day,
you know?
So being able to engage in these types of self care has actually even just reading this today
has really helped me kind of realize what I need to do moving forward to maintain my
mental health.
If you are struggling with your mental health or somebody that you know, you can contact
the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 1-800-950-6264 or NAMI, it was the last four
digits, or you can text the number 62640.
Nice.
And that is, I'm not meant to break that.
Wow.
Yeah, I think the only other times that I really like meditate is, you know, I take like hour
long baths.
Yeah.
That's like mostly my meditation because I'll just lay in the water for a while and just
listen to my K-pop and think, you know, and I'll just be by myself and think things, you
know?
Especially lately, I have not been looking at my phone right before bed.
I've been watching TV, but there's times where I've laid in bed with my phone just
like in my face on Instagram or whatnot or TikTok for hours.
And I have realized in the last few weeks probably that not having my face adhered to
a phone is actually, I've gotten better sleep.
Yeah.
So.
Well, honestly, like I am really guilty of it.
Like I'll do the same thing, but I found it easier for myself at night when I'm right
about to go to bed.
Instead of being on social media, I'll play like a game on my phone so that I'm not tapped
into like negative comments or negative ideations about certain things or like any kind of person.
It's just me in my game.
Right.
And then I can focus on like my mindfulness and put myself in this little bubble and then,
you know, go to sleep.
And I'm not dreaming about the shit that I just saw on TikTok.
Sometimes the scary ones pop up when you're asleep at 3 a.m. and you're like, oh my God,
I don't like that.
But yeah.
So anyway, thank you guys for joining us for this mental breakdown.
I hope you enjoyed.
If you have any questions or any suggestions, you can reach out to us again, diagnosing
a killer anywhere.
And we're really excited about our website.
I'm really excited about the website.
So yeah, waiting for that red bubble to come through.
Yeah, for sure.
We will see you guys.
Oh, not see you guys.
But we will.
You guys will be hearing us on Thursday with another case.
And thank you guys for joining us.
Thanks.
Love you.
Bye.
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