Welcome to Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas True Crime podcast.
I'm your host, Sean.
And I'm your co-host, John.
Join us each week as we delve into the underbelly of this vibrant city,
exploring its most unsettling true crime stories where the stakes are high
and the truth is often darker than fiction.
But this podcast goes beyond the crime scene tape.
We unravel the intricacies of domestic violence,
exposing the raw and haunting realities that echo through the city's streets.
Sins and Survivors is available now wherever you get your podcasts,
because in this city of illusions, the truth is the darkest bed of all.
Hello!
Hello.
Welcome back to another episode of Diagnosing a Killer.
I'm Ka'well.
And I'm Kenna.
And we both have our voices back.
Barely. Barely.
What you just heard was a trailer for Friends of Ours, John and Sean's podcast,
Sins and Survivors.
They are two people out of Las Vegas that we met at the con last year,
and they have since started their own podcast.
And I was fortunate enough to be a guest on their podcast recently,
and so we decided why not promote their podcast, because it's really great.
They focus on domestic violence, I'm sure, as you heard in their trailer.
And out of Vegas, I think their tagline is,
What Happens Here Happens Everywhere, which is really cool.
I love that.
I love that line.
It's just, and it does give you kind of full body heat,
because it does happen everywhere.
It should be talked about and recognized.
So they're doing the work for sure.
Absolutely.
Thank you again, John and Sean, for having me on,
and go check them out anywhere you can get podcasts.
They are available there.
Yes.
So, it's been a month since we sat here.
Ew.
Okay, well, it's gonna happen.
I sound fine right now, but it's gonna get to me, because, yeah,
we both lost our voices, so, gosh, okay.
Left for the trip, we went to New York, Cliff and I.
Went to New York to go meet his lovely father, who is just,
Ugh, he's a dream.
I love him.
And we were up there, and it was like day three.
I was dead to the world.
I got so sick, and from, I don't even know from where or when.
And by Wednesday, we left on like Sunday.
By Wednesday, I could not talk.
It was just at a whisper.
But I was in New York, and I'm in the upstate New York,
and it's so beautiful, and I wanted to see where he grew up.
And so, I definitely overextended myself going around,
and not only that, but it's like freezing.
I mean, it's not really freezing when we went,
but it was really cold.
There was snow everywhere.
My nose is constantly running, but I feel like I forced myself
because I wanted to see everything before we left.
Of course.
And then I get back, and you get sick.
Not immediately, though.
We definitely got sick at different times.
We did.
So, you had been back for a week, but that whole week,
I had had a sinus infection.
I get sinus infections all the time.
Very common, very used to them.
But the sinus infection somehow got worse,
and it turned into the flu.
So, two weeks after you got back, I got diagnosed with the flu.
No, it wasn't even.
It was like two, three days.
And I knew that's why I knew it wasn't for me,
because you went to the doctor on what, Monday or Tuesday,
and we had gotten back on Sunday or Saturday.
Either way.
And then I was like, I'm sick because I have a lot of things to do.
I have a lot of things to do, but I was like, well, shit.
Now that you're feeling better,
I don't want to sit in a small closet with you and get you more sick.
Exactly.
Well, then a week goes by, I'm still sick,
and I'm like, what the heck?
So I go to the ER.
And I'm like, can you help me?
And I'm like negative for COVID,
negative for everything else.
But my chest was heavy.
I couldn't breathe.
And then I lost my voice completely.
So, obviously, the infection traveled to my larynx.
Sean and John, my voice is very, very bad.
It's not as bad now, but it's still there.
You can hear it.
So, now I just have to bear with us,
because we could not stand to not bring you more content.
We had to do it.
It's been plaguing our minds.
Yeah.
And then after that, Cliff got sick.
It just, everybody got sick.
I mean, I was on the San Antonio Reddit and people were like,
is everybody else around me sick?
Yeah, no, there's definitely something going around.
And at the end of the day,
we need to make sure we're taking care of ourselves,
and also, I would not have been able to record last week.
Like, you wouldn't have been able to hear what I'm saying.
It's true.
So, we really needed to wait,
but we really appreciate you guys just being super open
and thoughtful and commenting and giving us your love.
That was really nice to not have to worry
that you guys were worried,
and you guys have been very gracious.
So, we appreciate it.
I think at one point, I even thought,
should we just type out a case for people to read?
Just a transcript?
We can't sit here for an hour
talking about something when we don't have voices.
It would just annoy the piss out of everyone.
Oh, for sure.
Including myself.
We're gonna take it easy today.
Well, I will, because it's not my case.
It's your mental breakdown.
So, hopefully, we'll get through this one.
Just bear with us for the next couple of episodes.
They're probably gonna be kind of raspy,
but we'll get back to 100% as soon as we can.
I would like to thank everyone that purchased
an upcycled garment from us as of late.
That is something that Ken and I are trying to be aware of.
More environmental, environmentally-conscious.
So, I think upcycled shirts was really the way to go for us.
Upcycled hoodies.
I'm gonna try to look around for some upcycled bags.
I think bags would be cute.
But yes, those are at a discounted rate.
And then, if you come see us in July and Denver,
they're at even more of a discounted rate.
Yes.
So, yeah, absolutely.
Check those out.
We have those on our Instagram posts.
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for everyone that's purchased one of those.
And they are 100% unique.
So, every single style, every brand, every design
is all 100% unique.
There is not gonna be more than one of the exact same of those,
as opposed to our new merch that we buy.
They're all, they can be similar, you know,
and there's multiple forms of the same.
But yeah, thank you guys for continuing to support us that way.
I got some good feedback from LouisDAKLive episode.
Everybody really appreciated the fact that he opened up,
and it can be a difficult topic to talk about.
So, thank you again, Louis, for being here for that DAK Live.
If you haven't checked it out, it is about ODD and ADD and ADHD
and the difference between the three.
So, it's a very interesting case.
But yeah, I've gotten a lot of really good feedback from that episode with Louis.
Absolutely.
So, today, we are gonna be talking about seasonal depression.
Okay.
Or what is also known as seasonal affective disorder.
Oh.
Sad.
Okay, well, Watertown was the inspiration.
Because it was, even during the day, the sun was like hazy.
And it's not that it's not sunny.
And it's not like it looks like it's gonna rain.
It's just the time of year.
Yeah.
It's bizarre to be.
It's like, I even asked Cliff, I'm so dumb.
I'm like, could I see the Aurora Borealis from here?
He's like, probably.
But it just was so hazy that I was like, man, seasonal depression must be a thing.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm going to Seattle in a couple of months and I'm like, it's probably gonna rain the
whole time and it rains there all the time, you know.
So, we'll see.
Content warning, this episode contains talk of depressive symptoms and disorders.
If this episode is not for you, we encourage you to check out another one of our episodes.
Remember that your mental health is important to us and we love you.
Love you.
Bye.
Oh my God.
Can't do the high pitch right now.
I forgot.
Love you, bye.
Seasonal depression is also known as seasonal affective disorder.
In according to John Hopkins website, Hopkinsmedicine.org, SAD, yes, the acronym is sad.
Yeah, it's also sad earlier.
Sad.
Quote, happens during certain seasons of the year, but most often fall or winter end quote.
The symptoms of SAD usually occur around the same time every year and also end around the
same time every year.
It is possible to have SAD during the spring or summer months, but this is statistically less likely.
SAD occurs more often in assigned females at birth and is rare for people under the age
of 20 to experience SAD.
Although early onset of SAD can start by 18 and the latest kind of onset of that would
stretch all the way into your 30s.
So, it's possible to show those signs or onset in between those ages.
SAD affects approximately 5% of people in the US or 16 million people.
Dang.
Another 10% or 33 million people may experience the winter blues.
Yeah, I feel like that's me.
Oh, same.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, SAD's symptoms include feeling sad or having
depressive moods, loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, changes in appetite
or usually eating more or craving carbohydrates, changes in sleep, usually sleeping in too much,
loss of energy or increased fatigue despite increased sleep hours, increased in purpose-less
physical activity.
And this would be an example like an inability to sit still or pacing or writing or maybe
in your case, coloring.
Yes.
And then, the symptoms and speech, these actions must be severe enough to be observable by another
person.
Okay.
So, it's not just like a common, you're just like, man, you have a burst of energy or man,
you just can't stop being able to, you know, fidget.
Feeling worthless or guilty, difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions and thoughts
of death or suicide.
Although these symptoms are similar or even identical to depressive disorders, the difference
between winter and summer depression is that during winter depression, you may eat more,
sleep more and withdraw from social situations.
And in summer depression, you may eat less, sleep less and become more irritable easily.
That's interesting.
Again, these symptoms must be noticeable changes in your sleep and eating patterns in order
to be considered as a part of seasonal depression symptoms.
The Cleveland Clinic says that you may be at higher risk of developing SAD if you have
another mood disorder such as a major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder, have relatives
with SAD or other forms of depression or mental health conditions such as major depression
or schizophrenia, live at a latitude far north or far south from the equator, there's less
sunlight during the winter in these latitudes, and you might live in cloudy regions.
Yeah, it's like, yeah.
The causes of SAD, seasonal depression or winter blues is not conclusively known.
However, it is believed that changes in your circadian rhythm may be a contributing factor.
When the winter nights last so long and the days are shorter, our bodies have difficulty
adjusting to that time change, essentially.
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The opposite being for summer, when you're more likely to stay awake longer since the
days are longer.
Scientists also recognize that the natural melatonin that your body creates during night
hours are likely to be produced during these longer night periods.
Serotonin levels also may drop when we're not exposed to sunlight for some time.
Vitamin D deficiency, excuse me, is common with people diagnosed with wintertime SAD.
An overall expectation of what the seasons hold may also contribute to the stress and
anxiety experienced by SAD patients.
Like they're dreading the season coming.
Or it's like, you know, I know that a lot of people that get diagnosed with this might
have problems with their immediate family or family that they see over the holidays.
So that can be stressful.
It'd be like, oh my gosh, my whole family in the same room is going to be so stressful.
And then it can induce symptoms of that.
Right.
Or like having to figure out what you're doing with your kid during summer when they're
not in school and it's an added stressor because you still have to work full time.
Yeah, exactly.
As we see, SAD or seasonal depression isn't a joke.
It is often one of those things that can be tossed around in casual conversations.
But if you are someone you know are experiencing these symptoms, it may be time to seek help.
Treatment for SAD or seasonal depression can include cognitive behavioral therapy,
medication, spending more time outdoors or with loved ones during daylight hours, mind you.
Vitamin D supplements and even light therapy.
Light therapy has been used since the 80s to help with seasonal depression disorders.
There are some conditions in which you should not use light therapy, so talk with your doctor
about treatment options.
If you are okay to for light therapy, usually the morning time has shown better treatment
results.
That makes sense.
I guess so, right?
Because it like prepares you for your day.
Yeah, and then you don't have all that melatonin that's been like building up.
That's so true.
You know, because you just scared it off.
Yeah.
You scare off your melatonin with your serotonin and you're ready to go.
UV lights for light therapy use about 10,000 lux.
Not to be confused with lumen because lumen is what, isn't that so funny?
Lumen?
Lumenol.
Like, well Dexter.
Yeah, lumen.
Lumenol.
He's like, no relation.
That's cute.
Yeah, so lumen is what the bulb, like the power it contains, but lux is what it projects
onto a surface.
Okay.
That makes sense.
So, 10,000 lux is what these UV lights usually produce or yeah, create.
A common light bulb is only a thousand.
So, it's 10 times the power of a regular light bulb.
I'm gonna blind you.
Yeah, you have to wear goggles.
I bet.
Well, when my son was born, he had that ruby bellen count was low or something.
So essentially, he didn't have, he needed UV therapy to create more red blood cells.
Yeah.
So, he was in a little like baby, like tanning bed.
Yeah, he's like a little incubator.
And he had to wear these little goggles.
Tanning bed.
It was an infant.
It's terrible.
It's like a two-day old and he was wearing goggles.
Oh, that poor child.
A doctor may recommend sitting in this light anywhere between 10 minutes to 45 minutes
per day over the course of the treatment.
So, I know what I just said, but tanning beds are not a viable replacement for light therapy.
Yeah.
So, anything if you do that every day for the suggested amount of time, you'd probably
develop skate cancer.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, don't do that.
A healthy diet and exercise routine is always a good idea to help with sleep and wake patterns.
Again, this is not as diagnosing or caring.
This is more about what you might be expecting if you were to go through something like this.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
It's definitely helpful to just know about things like this because I kind of talked about
this on the episode I did with Sean and John.
You know, the more you educate yourself on something, the easier it is to manage that
if it does happen and hopefully it doesn't, but if you do recognize signs and symptoms
of that in yourself or in someone else, then it might be beneficial just to have that extra
knowledge about it.
Yeah, for sure.
I definitely think that I get into modes where I get so comfortable.
I don't know if it's necessarily comfortable in my bed or if I just don't want to leave
my bed, especially with the curtains closed.
Yeah.
I'm like, it cliffhates it too.
I'll be like, do you want me to open the curtains?
He's like, yes, please.
Victorian child.
Please, I need the light.
But it is very much, you know, another great suggestion was when you do your chores, make
sure that your windows are open, like your blinds are open.
So at least you're inviting some sun in.
So it's not really, yeah, even if it's not really necessarily a sunny day, you know,
if you're walking around the house doing chores or if you need to type up a resume or you need
to whatever, make sure that your laptop or your computer is next to a window.
So you have access to that even if you're not, you know, in the most social mood.
Yeah, for sure.
I find even doing like the little things for yourself makes me feel specifically like so
much better, you know, getting up and taking a shower like can be so taxing sometimes.
But I feel so much better after I do it.
I'm like, oh, I'm clean, you know, and I don't have to worry about it or my coloring.
I've been really into coloring lately.
As soon as I got sick, I ordered three coloring books on Amazon and all these markers because
I was like, first of all, the craft weirdo, like I like all the stuff crafting and I have
to have like a variety.
She has these felt markers that are like silk.
It's crazy.
They're amazing.
But I knew I was going to be stuck in bed and stuck in my room for a while.
And so I ordered that.
And now that I'm gooding through the sickness and I have less free time, I'm still using
the little free time I have to continue coloring because mom made a good point.
She's like, it uses a different part of your brain because it's the creative part and that
can, it's been actually really helping my anxiety.
Yeah.
I'm kind of the opposite.
It's like, well, I don't know if it quiets that same part of your brain that coloring
quiets, but that's me with trials and true crime.
If I'm constantly, if I have it, even if I have it in my headset and I have it turned
almost all the way down, it's like, it quiets the voices.
That's so terrible.
It quiets the voices.
But I don't mean that in a bad way.
Yeah, it quiets all of that anxiety that loops through my brain and it gives it linear purpose.
No, for sure.
And it's definitely not going to be the same for everybody.
Like that might work for you, but for someone else, like maybe even me, like getting all
of that true crime content constantly would be overwhelming for me.
Like I would get more anxious, like constantly getting that feedback.
Literally in the Alec Murdov murders right now and I'm at the medical examiners parts
and I'm learning a lot.
The medical examiner was like, this is a beautiful example of, I'm sorry, no, not beautiful.
Not beautiful.
I'm so sorry, forensically speaking.
Laughed.
He, it was, and again, this isn't to be crude or crass, but the medical examiner was talking
about Maggie Murdov's autopsy, essentially.
And you know, of course they had crime scene photos.
They don't broadcast any of that stuff, so you just see the prosecutor or the medical
examiner describing the photos, not necessarily showing the photos because those are only
for the jury, right?
And of course, like let's, we have morals.
So the medical examiner was like, okay, so there's essentially what happens with a gunshot
wound or a bullet wound where it pushes through the skin and they call it skin tagging.
Okay.
It sounds pretty graphic.
And so they went to the next slide and it was Maggie Murdov's head wound and he said,
see here is a beautiful example of, and immediately he was like, I am so sorry.
That is not, I mean, her whole family sitting in that fucking horror room.
And Hush fell over the room and Hush fell over the room.
He goes, I am so sorry.
I meant from a forensic standpoint and an example of this is, oh how embarrassing.
But it's again, person to person.
He probably thinks that it's beautiful because it is so cut and dry and it's so easy to
determine what happened as opposed to maybe something else that's like really, sorry,
pardon my language, but like more messy, right?
And then not as easy to determine what happened.
Exactly.
So I know he wasn't trying to be like, you know, in sense.
Oh, I like it.
Yeah.
No, but I can totally get that.
So, but that's, I mean, that's why I want to do that.
Yeah.
Because I do find stuff like that fascinating too.
For sure.
Anyways, always consult with your doctor about your SAD symptoms and please do not start
any treatment on your own without a consultation.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, you can always reach out to the
National Suicide Lifeline at 988 for information and resources.
And of course, if you are experiencing an emergency, always dial 911-999 or your local
emergency service number.
For sure.
I also just want to head through this in there.
People that, again, educating yourself, right, making sure that you're taking the steps to
potentially prevent this from happening.
Again, we're not licensed to diagnose.
We're not licensed to give medical advice.
However, personally, what I like to do is if I know that something's coming up that,
for example, like Sunday scare me, the Sunday scaries, you know, people have experienced
that I will prep my day on Sunday.
The Sunday scaries?
You never heard of that?
No.
Oh, okay.
So the Sunday scaries is essentially like you have so much fun on the weekend and
like towards the end of the night on Sunday, you start to get really anxious about your
weekday starting.
Oh my gosh.
That's so interesting.
Oh yeah.
I have it every week.
I bet the Germans have a word for that.
I'm sure there is.
What I like to do is prepare for that feeling because I know it's coming, right?
So I'll take a shower early.
I'll make sure that I hydrate myself, have plenty of water, plenty of downtime for myself
so that I can relax and I don't have to feel rushed to bed, you know, things like that.
So personally what works for me is just preparing myself to have that feeling so that when it
does happen, I don't, it's not as harsh as it could be if I wasn't prepared for it.
That's good advice.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Sunday scaries, you never heard of that?
No.
We're going to have to call them the seasonal scaries now.
So there are a few celebrities that have come out saying that they have S-A-D-E.
I go, ooh, like it's so cool.
That's interesting.
That's one of those things.
It's a beautiful celebrity.
Like celebrities are just like us.
Oh my gosh.
No, but that's really impressive for someone to be able to, you know, be open about that.
Yeah.
Brad Pitt has said that, quote, he was hiding from the celebrity thing, that he was smoking
way too much dope, that he was sitting on the couch and just turned into a doughnut.
Oh my gosh.
He added, quote, I used to deal with depression, but I don't know, not this decade, maybe last
decade.
But that's also figuring out who you are.
I see it as a great education as one of the seasons or a semester.
This semester I was majoring in depression and quote.
Ooh, the heat.
Oh my gosh.
But that's really good that he's learned how to kind of cope with it and recognize that
it's happening so that he can treat it.
It is interesting that he called it an education.
Yeah, it absolutely is.
Yeah.
J.K. Rowling has also said, quote, she suffered from severe depression and contemplated suicide.
Starting on her doctor's advice, she started cognitive behavioral therapy and after nine
months she overcame suicidal thoughts and her depression.
She said, quote, it's so difficult to describe depression to someone who's never been there
because it's not sadness.
I know sadness.
Sadness is to cry and to feel, but it's a cold absence of feeling that really hollowed
out this feeling.
It's pretty wild to, I mean, you can't compare it to anything, you know, and it's very hard
to just shake it off.
Because some people say, oh, just shake it off.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah, I know it is a big deal and it's not as easy as just changing your mindset and
just forgetting it's there.
Like, you know, like it doesn't let you forget.
Right.
Gwyneth Paltrow believes that she too suffered from SAD.
Over the years after having each child, she noticed a correlation between the seasons
and her hormone changes.
However, experts believe that maybe she suffered from postpartum depression and the months the
children were born were contributing factors to that.
Yeah.
And that's a sense for sure.
Either way, she's never been officially diagnosed with SAD, but she's not the only one.
There's plenty of cases out there.
Yeah, there's a lot of celebrities that have come out and been very open about their depression.
Yeah.
However, I think in order to meet that specific criterion, like you have to meet to get sad,
then it might just be the difference in like a couple of symptoms, right?
Or if it's chronic depression or if it's, you know, there's a bunch of different types,
MDD, things like that.
Even Adele came out saying that she prefers to live in LA because she says that it does
wonders for her health.
The sunshine is different than the UK.
I bet.
I mean, there's days here where it rains like two, three days in a row and I'm like,
okay, I'm kind of fucking over this.
You know, like I need some sunshine.
I'm gonna go walk outside.
Right.
But, um, yeah.
Without an umbrella.
Yeah.
Well, that's SAD, seasonal depression, or the wintery blues.
The wintery blues.
Thanks for bringing that.
I'm really excited to be back and chatting with you guys.
It feels good.
And please be on the lookout for our newest Patreon episode.
I know it's a few weeks late, but like we explained at the beginning, we were ill.
So we'll be releasing that as soon as we can.
And we're gonna get back on schedule, which means Thursday we're gonna have another case
come out as well.
And so on and so forth.
And I forgot it's a leap year.
So there is a 29th this month.
Yes, there is.
And if you haven't yet, please go get, go ahead and get your tickets for the True Crime
and Paranormal Podcast Festival that is happening July 12th through the 14th of this year in
Denver.
And I'll be there since and survivors will be there at a number of really great podcasts.
There's a bunch of new podcasts going this year too, which I'm super excited about.
So you guys continue to buy your merch.
Get ready for July.
It's coming up way faster than we think.
It will be here before we know it.
And if you are not already on our Patreon, you can join our Patreon.
Tears one, two, and three all get access to ad free content.
Tears two and three get an additional bonus episode that is ad free and banter free at
the end of every month.
Yes.
You can also check us out on any social media platform at diagnosing a killer other than
X formerly known as Twitter, which is at killer diagnosis.
You can email us.
You can Venmo us.
You can cash out us.
You can paypal us.
Everything is at diagnosing a killer.
And I think that's it.
I think that's it.
We will see you guys on Thursday with another case and hopefully better voices.
Yes.
All right.
Love you.
Bye.
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