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I'm Drea. I'm Meg. I'm Tina. And I'm Jess. And this is Pardon My Stash.

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Welcome to Pardon My Stash, a podcast about knitting with fiber arts and how awesome it is.

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Before we delve into this week's topics, let's hear what we're working on now, Meg. Well,

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this is a tentative dive into what I'm hoping is going to be my Rheinbeck top, not sweater.

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I am knitting Sun Drop by Laura Ehler of Fog Bound Knits. It is a short sleeve sweater top.

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I went back and forth on a lot of different choices. I ended up on this one. It's the first

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time I'm knitting a raglan top, which is kind of fun. Yeah. And I am knitting it out of Dragon

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Hoard yarn. They're gnome tweed fingering in the colorway fairy yule tree. It is a blue-green tweed.

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Nice. So it is right now I have, I'm just working on the kind of the yoke and we'll see where it

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goes. I am hoping that it comes out okay. I'm still plugging away on the Kemi Shaw by Isabel Kramer.

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In jeans. Faded jeans. Jeans. Silver Moon Fiber Arts fingering weight in jeans. In jeans.

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Gina. I am still working on my swatches for my master gauge sheet. So I have gotten the

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fingering weight swatch done. I have gotten the DK swatch complete and I am currently working on the

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worsted swatch. So I did the fingering weight in a size two needle. I did the DK weight in a size

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seven needle and I did the, I'm doing the worsted in a size nine on purpose because I like my stuff

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to be a little bit airy, especially the, I don't know why, but I like my little stuff not to be as

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tight. So I kind of like how it came out. It's like, it's still fitted, but it's not incredibly

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tight. Whereas like this too is a little tight. I might redo the two. We'll see. It does look good.

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They both look amazing. So I realized I had a bulky weight skein from Critical Hit and I am going to

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wind that up with my Swift, my fancy Swift that's been getting a lot of traction on the social

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medias right now. It's a squirrel cage Swift and it is amazing and I love it and it's phenomenal.

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And I will wind that one up and I will do a swatch of that one as well because I realized that the

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bulky that I have on my gauge sheet is discontinued and that doesn't make any sense to have. So I'm

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going to swap the Lion Brand with, since I'm sticking with Critical Hit for everything else,

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I'll do Critical Hit for the bulky and then the super bulky I'll keep in the hometown because

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that's a pretty relatively popular and available yarn. Jess, what are you working on? I'm kind of

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between projects right now because I mean, I finished the I Am Dragon 2 call. I have to

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block it, but I need time because it's a steam block and that takes a while and I haven't been

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able to find a chunk of time to do that in yet. So that's waiting for that. But otherwise there's

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a couple days left before I can start the make-along project. So I don't want to start that yet. So

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right now I am cast on a crochet project and I had seen like on sale dice bags that look like

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potion bottles and I really liked making mini potion bottles. So I'm going to try and make a

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big dice bag potion bottle. So we'll see and I may lose interest in a couple days, but

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that's fair. But that again, that is my current in between projects. We're gonna mess around

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with this and see what happens. Yeah, I have to also come up with a make-along project, but I

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really you had mentioned that someone is doing this like octopus one. Oh my gosh. Now I want to be

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like super ambitious and do the octopus one, but I know I won't finish it. I know I won't. I

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absolutely know I won't. Knitter know thyself. I will not finish that. I will start and I will

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be like I made a terrible decision. You're funny. So also it looks like it's in fingering weight.

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So not about that life. Not about that life. Not about that life. But speaking of the make-along,

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if you want to learn more about that, you can check out our how to get involved page on our website.

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Signups are going until April 1st and that will be our cast on day for that and it'll go all the

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way to September 1st. And by the end of that, if you've done the signups and have submitted your

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project pictures, progress pics, and finished project picture, you'll get sent out like some

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fun promo codes and whatnot for different things in our shop and from our creators here. So have a

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look at that. If you want to see pictures of the current projects that we have just been talking

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about or get more information about Part in My Stash in general, check out our website at

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partinmystash.com for info, pics, patterns, yarns, and all that good stuff.

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Mystery Box, Mystery Box, What's Inside the Mystery Box?

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Hey, Mystery Box time. So the thing that I have decided that I wanted to look up and get into

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and talk about today is increase stitches and decrease stitches because I think someone brought

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it up a while ago and I actually did start looking into it and then I got distracted and then I came

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back to it. Then I got distracted, but I decided today was the day.

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We're going to learn about it. Let's do it. I'm ready.

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Increase and decrease. There are actually a lot more ways to increase and decrease than I thought

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there were and I wrote down some, but they get really intense. So what I actually did is I took

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down the links to the blog post of a woman that put together a list and their thing is called

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Nimble Needles, but the links will be on the blog. So you can look that up later. So what I'm going

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to do is go over some of my favorite ways to do it and if all of y'all want to chime in with your

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favorite ways to do them and then some of the other more well-known ones and then maybe throw

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in there some of the ones that I looked at. I was like, I did not know that that was a thing

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and that is really cool. But when you get down to basics, the main ones I think you see as far as

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increasing go, you get your yarn over, your make one, and then your make one left and make one right,

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and then kind of throw it in there. I don't see it as often, but it might depend on the patterns

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you look at. You'll get your knit front and backs. That's my favorite. I like the knit front and back.

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I love knit front and back. It's so easy. It's easy, but I don't like the stitch that comes out of it.

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But you don't need to remember which way you got to twist it left or right. It's always the same.

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When you're working with bulkier yarns, it looks funky. I don't like it. This is true.

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Fair. This is true. Fair. See, I mean, that doesn't sound like a problem for me because I don't work

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with bulkier yarns. No, if you work with a fingering or a DK or lace or whatever like

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Dreia loves, you will definitely not see the knit front and back. You won't. There's this little bar.

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Lace yarn over is kind of your big one for lace. That's because you get your eyelet out of your

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yarn over. So a lot of lace patterns need that. My favorite is actually make one left or right.

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I like doing those. I tend to forget which way is which before I start. But as soon as I look, I

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remember it for usually the rest of it, so long as I don't put it down for an extended period of time.

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I always have to make a note on my pattern which way to make it. Which way to go. Like either front

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or back. Yeah. Yep. Same. Every time. Yep. There's also the make one stitch, which a lot of people

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default it to the make one left stitch. But when I read it in here, they said the one difference

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they do is usually when you make one left, like and I don't, I knit through the back loop of that

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stitch that I make. For make one, they said you're supposed to knit through the front of it instead

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and it makes it a more centered stitch rather than as much of a leaning. Yeah, because if you don't

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do the twist for the right, then there's no right. Yeah. So that's how they kind of differentiate

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that. I usually just default it to the make one left though. So I'm personally a fan of the left

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and right lifted increase. Yep. Which is the least obvious in my opinion. Oh yeah. It doesn't,

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you don't really see it. It's, you can't do a make one left or right on the end of a

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pattern because you use the bars to do those. Yeah, that's fair. But the lifted one, yeah,

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you can, you can kind of do that from anywhere. So that does make that one a better option.

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They said another one that's almost invisible is a knit left loop, which I had never heard of before

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and I've heard of that. Yeah, and I looked up how to do that and it's basically, it's like you do it

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through the leg of a stitch. And again, the links are going to be on there because it's hard to

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explain it without the pictures. And it's a very good post because they have the pictures and they

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have video attachments too, which is kind of neat if you want to give them a try. But they did show

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a picture of like the project to use with that. And it is a pretty, a pretty invisible stitch.

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It's actually, it does like look pretty good. Knit front and back is one of your,

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one of your staples as well. And they also did, you could like knit,

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because it, it creates a bar. I guess it creates another bar when you do the knit front and back.

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They actually had a way to get rid of that bar. And that is you knit through the front,

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but then you slip the back and that you don't knit the back. So you don't get that extra bar.

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And I never thought of doing that, but it makes sense because you still get the same number of

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stitches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Only issue and they, and they bring it up. The only issue is that you

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do want to make sure you're not kind of stacking all of those. Yeah. That's the other issue with

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that. But a lot of the time you've got to be careful of stacking your increases and decreases

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anyway. Otherwise you'll kind of get a very, if you want it invisible, because you'll get a,

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it'll be obvious. You'll start to see them if you're stacking them up. So that was, that was,

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I thought that was kind of interesting that you could kind of get rid of that, that extra bar

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in there. Same with short rows. If you like, that's why people don't stack short rows either,

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because it's, it'll be really, really obvious. Yeah. And there were a couple more in there.

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Like there's the, the backward loop increase and okay. Wait, hold on, hold on. Is that really an

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increase or is that somebody just going, okay, you know what? I forgot a stitch. No, because

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you're doing one of the legs. Again, I was like looking at both of them and I was like, these are

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actually really interesting. No, the backward loop, isn't it? Like, don't you do a backward loop to

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cast on for an armpit? That's a backwards loop cast on. Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. I was, I thought

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you were talking, sorry. I forgot we're talking increases, decreases, continuous increases.

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We're talking increases, decreases, continue. No, no. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing the increases,

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decreases within not like casting on, which is also a thing you can do, casting on within the project,

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which both of my dragon shawls needed that. So, but that account is like a separate kind of additional

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cast on and not the increase decrease. So I didn't even look at stuff that did that. And another one

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that I actually have used, usually only in shawls is the make two. And they usually do that somewhat

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like in the center of a shawl, because it makes a pretty obvious, which it can be very pretty if you

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if you do it right, but it is definitely not an invisible stitch. So, and these are just like,

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I don't know, what was that? Like six or seven different types. There was like a list.

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Oh, sure. So many other ones. And so it was really interesting. So if you're like trying to make

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patterns or looking for like a stitch that might work better, they also had had ones where like,

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I didn't even realize there were different leanings of these stitches. They had how you would like

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change a left leaning increase to a right leaning increase, which was interesting if you kind of,

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you know, you're trying to make it even on either side of the project. So I was like,

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it was a really cool read. So if that's something people are interested in, and you know, it doesn't,

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it, you know, you're looking at your project, it's like, okay, it just tells me to do a random

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increase. And I want to choose the best one, like you could take a look and see if any of those work

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for you. decreases, it didn't seem like there are as many options, I feel like doing the decreases,

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but there are still way more than I thought there would be. Like, there's, there's, there's

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there's my favorites, again, are the knit two together or the slip slip knit. Those are the two

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I usually go to the nice reliable together to come on. There's a pearl two together. That's three.

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There is because I think pearl two together is left leaning, I'm pretty sure they do have a way

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to do a right leaning, which I didn't know was a thing. And I kind of wish I knew before because

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that that was another thing in my in the dragon projects where I was like, I feel like there could

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be another leaning stitch here. And I didn't know it at the time. But so that was that was kind of

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interesting. Um, I'm a big fan of the, the double decrease center double center double, I like the

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center double decrease. Um, that's that is that one is really nice. Even if you see it, it kind of

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it blends well. Yeah, there's also like the slip knit Passover slip slip knit, you know, there's

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that that one is and and those those were the five I was familiar with, with looking at this this list

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of decreases, there are a ton of other ones, there are a few where I was looking at, and I have no

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idea how they even discovered them because it seems so complicated. But then the picture of it

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looked really nice. So I could see why they would want to do that. At the same time. All right,

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you knit, then you sacrifice your firstborn. You have to do this between the bar and you have to

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hold the needle so close together because if you breathe wrong, all your stuff will fall off. But

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it looks great. And at the same time, I'm like, I think I would just do a pearl two together there

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because I would not have the patience. So those are different ones that we knew about. And then

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again, we'll post a whole list of other ones you can look into and see if you like any of them.

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Who knows you may find one you never knew existed that ends up working out fantastic for you.

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There is like a couple to with brioche. brioche has its own.

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They had a couple in there for brioche. I don't do brioche so it was like reading Latin for me.

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Yeah, so with the barks and the burps, because that's what it really is. With the barks and the

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burps, you can increase and decrease. And it's honestly this like it's the same as a basic knit

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together and a basic make one left, make one right. The difference is that you have to deal

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with two strands. That's really it. So there's like an extra step. But like, for the most part,

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for the most part, it's the same motion. So it's just it's just understanding the extra step in

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between that you have to deal with. So if you see that if you see like, like literally, it says brk

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or brp, that's brioche. So just if you're not doing brioche, just like ignore that.

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Honestly, in a lot of patterns, you can kind of if one turns out to be too hard, you can usually

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substitute depending on how complicated pattern it is. Sometimes a different look just does not

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turn out right. But but yeah, I feel like it's one of those things. See if you can learn the new

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stitch if they call for it. Otherwise, like do what's comfortable. Yeah, there's definitely say

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like right and wrong. But it's really there really isn't. Like it's just it's just a different way.

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It's going to look so once you've done it. So if you're trying to like Jess said, if you're trying

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to go for a certain type of look, then yeah, you got to stick with that stitch. But if you really

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don't care, like for especially with like hats and stuff that are like solids, then you're just

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like whatever. Just plus I really love the way a incrementally decreasing top of a beanie looks

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with a bunch of knit togethers. It's just so cute that you get these little like curves.

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A little swirl. I love the swirl. It looks really nice in the design. Like it really does.

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All right. And for this week's topic, we're going to talk about how to deal with negativity

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about your craft from others or from yourself. If you get that kind of, you know, nasty little

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voice in your head every once in a while telling you that, you know, you should stop or you should

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stop or your stuff sucks or any of that. And how do you deal with that when those days or those

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periods of time crop up? I definitely have those moments generally after I make a mistake.

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When it goes in time out.

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When it goes in time out. And I mean, Jess watches me every time I screw up, I joke about how I go

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through literally the five stages of grief every time I screw up a project. And it's just really

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bad. Like.

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What's the five stages? I always forget. It's wait, what the first is what?

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There's denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and then acceptance.

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So you're bargaining with it. Like, listen.

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What I'm getting is usually, Jess, can you please fix this?

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Can you speak to her fixing this?

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Can you figure out what I did wrong?

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No, literally every time I make like a bad mistake, I'm like, I'm going to fix this.

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I'm going to fix this bad mistake. I generally that's that's literally exactly like first, I'm

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like, no, that's not so bad. And I just keep knitting. And then I start getting mad at myself.

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I'm like, you're so stupid. How did you do? How did you screw that up?

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Then I asked Jess to look at it. And then I like usually go into the pits of despair of like,

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oh my God, I have to go back. I got a frog, all this. And then I just, you know,

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put on my big girl pants and do it. So I really do hit all five.

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Sometimes the bargaining is for me. And it's me going, just let me look at it.

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Just let me look at it real quick. Maybe I can figure it out.

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As I'm like, no, it's going in the trash.

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I don't go through that many stages. I think I just get to, well, that's wrong.

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And then usually that's followed with do I have the energy to deal with this today?

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Most of the time the answer is no. And then I'll just pick it up again another day.

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And I actually don't think that I've ever gotten down on myself about being a bad knitter or

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like being a bad crafter or not being good enough.

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I feel like that speaking from that kind of social media perspective is really easy to get that way,

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especially like I literally just posted a reel about that today about how people see my yarn.

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And if you're not like a fiber artist, they're literally like, holy.

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And I'm like, yeah, like that's my, and they're like, wow, that's all yours.

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And I'm like, yeah. And that's not even all of it.

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Yeah. And they're like, wow.

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But like, I feel like if somebody had like, I don't know, a stamp collection or like something

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more innocuous that like you could put in a book and like put away, it doesn't take as much space.

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Like, I feel like, yeah, the stash kind of takes up a lot of space.

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Yeah. So I don't know. I feel like sometimes I get down about that sometimes, but then I laugh

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because I'm just like, well, you know, this is my hobby. This is what I'm going to do.

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And I think that this is pretty timely because my coworker was talking about this and I've noticed

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that it's a lot more common to receive a lot of negativity from people outside of yourself

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and even from within the knitting community.

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One of my coworkers just recently started taking knitting classes at a community center.

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And her first class, she had such a negative experience.

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She almost didn't pick up the needles again.

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Well, that was a terrible teacher.

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Yeah. She told me about it. She was very negative. She was very harsh.

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She had a lot of first time knitters who had never held needles before.

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She was just hyper critical, not very helpful.

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And the only thing that she really had to say about it was, well, knitting's not for everybody.

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Which it's a lie. Knitting is for everybody because

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when everybody starts knitting, you suck. Everybody sucks. Everybody sucks when they start

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because you don't have the muscle memory.

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Anytime you start doing anything, you suck at it.

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Yeah. Exactly.

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That's just human nature.

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Yeah. But I also think that the end goal for going to a teacher and taking a class should be

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that you want people to continue the craft when they leave the class.

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Right. One would think.

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And it makes me really sad that there are people in the knitting community

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that are not very supportive of new knitters and new crafters.

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Well, and there's also that idea of like, I think some people who have been in the community

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for a very long time, like we're talking like 15, 20, 30, whatever years,

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will look at someone who's been doing it for 30 days with that lens and not,

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and they'll look at a 30 day knitter with that lens of a 30 year knitter and go like,

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well, you're using terrible yarn, though I would never use those needles.

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And like your posture is poor and like your technique is crap and blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And like, I, and I say that because like I've been to some knitting groups where like they're doing that.

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Like, there's one, there's one way to be like, if you see someone like starting, right.

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And they're like making a mistake that you made when you started.

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And you're just like, hey, listen, when I started, I also you like used to crouch like,

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like Gollum in Lord of the Rings.

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I love that you were using Lord of the Rings references appropriately.

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Just for you.

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It makes me so happy.

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I'm just doing it for you.

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So you just, just crouching and like, you know, like my precious, like a little gremlin,

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yeah.

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And then, you know, like, no, you got to like sit back so that you can do this for the long term

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and like relax your shoulders and like, you know, like I can understand doing that.

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And then I, and then the, but like to go into that judgment route is so weird to me because it's like,

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like you said, like you want people to continue.

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Yeah.

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And I don't see it as competitive, like, because some people do that, go that route too.

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You know, there's, there's, I think there is a lot of, of competitiveness where there doesn't need

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to be. And I don't think that's just specifically to, to knitting or to the fiber arts.

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I think that's in everything is that you, you sometimes do get people who are insecure and they

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feel that others, you know, if, if others take up the craft that they are encroaching on their

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space and it's ridiculous because there's room for everybody in, in everything.

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I mean, somebody else becoming a knitter doesn't take anything away from you becoming a knitter,

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but there are.

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Absolutely.

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People who have that very insecure mindset of, well, this is my thing, mine, you know, like Gollum,

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just mine and they, you know, they can get really judgmental or passive aggressive.

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And that can really be a turnoff, especially to somebody who is new and also insecure thinking,

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you know, oh, well, if I'm not doing it well, then this must be a turnoff.

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Then this must not be for me when really it's just, you haven't been doing it very long and

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nobody's perfect on the first shot.

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Also, as far as I'm concerned, I don't care how long you've been working on a craft.

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I don't care how long you've been knitting, painting, crocheting, weaving, spinning,

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you name it. I don't care. If you're working on a craft, you're always learning.

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Oh, absolutely.

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You're all still learning.

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Oh, I, yeah, that is another thing that kind of grinds my ears too, is the idea that someone who

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is new at it couldn't necessarily be amazing at it. Like I remember there was this, there was a

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college student, she had been knitting two or three years and she was phenomenal, like doing,

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doing like stuff that I wasn't even doing and I had been already in it for a decade at that point.

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Like just, just totally blowing my mind with like her color choices and blah, blah,

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and at no point did I sit there and go, well, push off. No, instead I sat there and I went,

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okay, like you obviously learned that quickly. So can you please teach me your ways?

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Like that's like exactly my mindset instead of being like this, you know, judge, judge, judge,

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competition, competition, competition, because at the end of the day, like we all knit the same

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stitches, right? But somehow it all comes out differently. Like I, there are certain people

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like on social media and stuff and even our stuff, I can look and I know it's Jess's, I can look and

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it's Meg's, I can look and I know it's yours. Like everybody has kind of their own expressive way

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of how they pick colors, how they pick patterns, how they like do their things. So you can look at

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a painting and know that it's a decor or something. Yeah. Well, that's how it should be looked at

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in general is that art, that artistry. I think people forget about the art part of fiber art.

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Like they just think about the fiber. They don't think about the art. There's art. It is art.

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Yeah. So like I can understand how someone like you, who does phenomenal sketching and drawing

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could then translate that into the fiber world because it's the same idea. It's the same creative

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aspect. It's just a different medium. Yeah. I think that's why Jess is so like 8,000 crafts

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that she can do because it's, you know, cause it's, it is, it's that same creative mindset

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is definitely there. So, and everybody's got a different way of looking at it for sure.

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Which is why I don't think that anybody should be putting someone else down or even yourself down.

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And it makes me sad. A lot of times there's a lot of negativity in, in just crafting in general.

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I have noticed that a lot of times the negativity will come from people that consider themselves

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more practical and they consider arts or hobbies that are making you a mint as a waste of time.

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And again, that a lot is a more reflection on them because they are,

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how can you find joy in something if all you are ever doing is searching for the thing to make you

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money? Like, you need to take a break and just do something for your own self. It's the capitalists.

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It's the capitalists. They're here. They're here. A lot of pieces. It's like, you see that. And it

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is from people that are just deeply rooted in this, like, oh, it's all about the hustle. And

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it's like, okay, but this is a different type of hustle. Like, this is a, I need to get some mental

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cash here. I need some more spoons and this is how I get them.

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Yeah, it's definitely, like we've brought up hustle a couple of times in the last few episodes.

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And I think it's, there is a very distinct difference between people who approach life

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as something to receive and people who approach life as something to take, if that makes sense.

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So like people who are approaching it to take, they're like, I want to take as much money as I

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can. It's about the game. It's about the game. Yeah. It's about how much can I get? I want to

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get it, get it, get it. And I want to get money. I want to get, I want to get, I want the accolades.

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I want the fame and the fortune. I want the houses and the blah. And then there's like the people who

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want to receive from life, which is different from getting things. It is like when you want to

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appreciate the things around you, it is when you want to, the way that you get energy is not from

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achieving these materialistic goals, but finding enlightenment in various different ways of

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expressing yourself. Like it's not about anybody else. It is about you experiencing life and

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receiving what life and ultimately destiny has for you. Put that on a mug.

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I know I'm so winded. I can't, I can never get concise.

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The mug should just be like the TLDR, live your life.

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Live your life. Find your joy.

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Find your joy.

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There it is. Now we need a find your joy with TLDR on top of it.

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In tiny, tiny print and then on the other side in big, big TLDR.

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Oh my gosh. All right, I'm on it.

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But it does it, that it perpetuates throughout your whole life. Cause it will perpetuate the way

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that you handle your career. It will perpetuate the way that you view politics. It'll perpetuate

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the way that you view other people because that whatever that is, it's almost like a core value.

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Like what do you value out of life? And I think, and I say that being as somebody who I feel like

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for a large part of my life, I was definitely in the materialistic side. My goal was I'm going to

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make this much money a year. I'm going to have this kind of house. I'm going to have this, this,

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this, and I thought that that would give me happiness, but then I got all those things.

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It just gives you stuff. And then I was like, oh, I'm not happy. Why am I not happy? I felt secure.

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I felt, you know, that's great. You know, you feel like secure, like you, you did great at your job,

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but, but then like you look back and you go like, what did I, what did I receive though? Like my

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soul, my soul was empty. So it was like, okay, all right, that's enough of that. And I, now it's like,

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nope, I'm not going to do that. Now, now I'm like shifting that mindset to like, how could I like,

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just receive what life is going to give me rather than like demand what I need.

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By giving back to new knitters and hyping them up when they're feeling down about themselves.

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Dude, I already told your friend, like, or I told you to tell your friend that like, if they need

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part of my stash to do some like actual knitting for like treats and yarn. Yeah. And I say that

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offering me Andrea, because I didn't speak to Megadress about this. If they need to offer,

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you know, I will, I will work for delicious sweet treats, a savory meal and or fiber.

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Well, if you would like a happy ending to that particular story, my coworker submitted honest

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feedback to where she was taking the classes and the subsequent class the following week was

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actually much better. Oh, that's good. Same person. Same person.

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Yeah. Oh, well, that's good. They grew. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Or they had a good talking

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to either way. Honestly, that is a sign of a good teacher that is willing to take criticism and grow

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from it instead of pushing back. I think negativity in any kind of arts is not helpful,

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whether it's like self negativity or outside negativity. Sometimes I think it does help you

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grow, but you shouldn't have to grow in spite of something you should just grow because you want to.

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No, and that's true. And that's the ideal. But I do feel like in a way you kind of can't avoid it.

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I am my worst critic. I am my own critic. It's it is it is terrible. And I know I'm super hard on

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myself and I will look at something be like this is god awful. I can't show this to anyone. They

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say this is god awful. I can't show this to anyone. Like, I enjoy doing it, but I don't want to show

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anybody because it's terrible. And a lot of times in those cases, it's like I'll kind of put it away.

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And if I come back to it, sometimes I'll be like, Oh, actually, okay, I do kind of like this now

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that I've had some time. So that's a big thing. They always tell you step away from your work for

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a little bit and then look back at it because you won't see as many of the flaws right away.

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But sometimes I still see the flaws. And sometimes it's just one of those things where it's like,

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take a chance show people that you trust at the very least because even getting most of the time,

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like I would say so long as they're like, you know, good friends and all that, they'll at least give

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you positives about it. So you can feel a little better that way. constructive feedback,

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to show the feedback is good. Be careful about just posting it anywhere because you will get

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trolls even if it is amazing, you will always find people being like, I could do that in my sleep.

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You always got to be careful of that and take stuff like that with a grain of salt. Um,

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a big thing and it's like, is if you have like the imposter syndrome thing that I do do a lot too.

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And then to a degree, I like to embrace that and be like, yeah, but I'm a good damn imposter.

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No one's gonna catch me. No one knows. No one knows that I have no idea what the

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**** I'm doing. Nobody knows. I'm awesome. I also have a little bit of imposter syndrome sometimes.

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Like sometimes I'll look at projects that I have obviously made and I'm like, I didn't do that.

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I can't, I can't make a sweater. I can't do that. That's not mine. Well, see, not even that. Mine is

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like, this is ****. I don't know why people are saying this is good. They're wrong. Oh, no, I never

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do that. Um, I am the sound bite that is like, look at this. This came from my hands. Like that's me

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afterwards. Yeah. It's the pre the before that talks you out of doing it in the first place.

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That's what the imposter. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll tell myself that I can't do that and then

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I'll do it and then I'll be like hella proud of myself and impressed. I am my biggest fan.

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We all know that. You know what? It's good though. If nothing else, I am my own hype man. Okay.

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I'll hype you every time. I think we all will. So I've, I've actually struggled a lot. Um,

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and a big part of that has always been, um, you know, just what, what I discovered

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last year was obsessive compulsive disorder, um, and perfectionism. If I can't do it exactly right,

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then I shouldn't be doing it in the first place. And I know, you know, in the back of my head,

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I know that that is wrong and I have a very easy time telling other people that that is wrong,

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but I struggle with myself a lot. If I, if I feel that I cannot do it exactly the way that it should

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be done, my brain is just firing off over and over again. You should not be doing this. This,

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you're not good at it. Um, and that has been a huge straw in, in my entire knitting experience

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to fight past the, the voice that tells me that if I'm not perfect, I shouldn't do it. It's taken me

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a long time to get to where I'm at now where I do try new things and I, I do, you know, embrace

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making mistakes and, and ripping back. And honestly, last year it was kind of that, you know,

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we all laughed about it when I was working on dark academia and I made a mistake, um, in the sweater,

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the single stitch that was the single stitch. Um, and you know, three years ago, that single stitch

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would have sent me just completely spiraling and I would have put it into a bag and I would never

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have taken it out again. And I just kind of laughed and was like, womp, womp. All right, time to get

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a crochet hook and go back 13 rows of color work. Um, and it took me like 10 minutes and I was

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honestly really proud of myself that I, I did that because I did feel like there's some, some

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conscious personal growth there that instead of kind of spiraling down and being like, you suck,

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I can't believe you did that. Like how dare you make a very common mistake of using the wrong color.

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Um, but like I said, the five stages of grief, um, I go through all of them with my knitting. So, um,

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you know, as much as I hate the idea and I would hate it in other people, um, but I've kind of had

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to try to learn to live with it in myself and try to kind of work past it and focus on all of the

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things that I can do and all that I have done that tells me that, you know what, I am a pretty good

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knitter and I've done a lot of really good things and one little mistake or even one big mistake,

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one project ending mistake does not negate all of those things that I have done that we all make

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mistakes in the great scheme of everything. They don't matter. That's not the sum of all of our parts.

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I'm clapping because I think that's really good personal growth.

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I'm, you know, I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress. I think we all are to an extent and

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we're, you know, even if, if you are somebody that has great confidence in your art and good for you,

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like that is wonderful. Um, we are all growing every single day and if you are already a person

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that is super confident in your craft and your art, um, then you are like way ahead of the game and

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you're just going to keep getting better and that's, that's spectacular. Last thing I want to add

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is I have always grown up with my father saying, I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

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I have always translated that to everything is you may make a ton of mistakes, but so long as you

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take something away from that and learn from it, then it is a learning experience and not a full

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mistake. As long as you take something away from it, you are gaining something out of that experience.

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It's no mistakes. Only happy little trees. Happy little trees. Happy accidents, happy accidents.

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And that's all the time we have for this week for additional content and opportunities to connect

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with the cast. Be sure to check out our Patreon or our website at part of my stash.com and remember

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to tune in next week for more tips, nits and wits at part of my stash.

