1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 I'm Drea. 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000 I'm Meg. 3 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000 I'm Tina. 4 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,200 And I'm Jess. 5 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:13,440 And this is Pardon My Stash. 6 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,840 Welcome back to Pardon My Stash, a podcast about knitting within the fiber arts and how 7 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,600 awesome it is. 8 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,600 Before we dive in today, let's talk about what we are working on, Jess. 9 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,680 I'm still working on the Diège vest. 10 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:29,640 I am still working on the Diège vest by Yosei Pakwine. 11 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:34,720 I apologize if I'm butchering your name in the Wolf Hulk collection. 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:42,800 I am using Critical Hit Dice Artificer in leather, and I am going to be on this hem 13 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,800 for the next 12,000 years. 14 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:59,280 Okay, but like, if you look at it, like, it's really pretty, like the cable is gorgeous. 15 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:03,120 And she has not knitted on it in about four months because she got to the hem and was 16 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,120 like, nope, I'm not doing two inches of ribbing. 17 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,800 Okay, so I have to do two inches of ribbing. 18 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,000 I'm actually halfway through that. 19 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,300 And I'm getting there. 20 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,960 But it's two inches of ribbing. 21 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:19,440 And then after I cast off, which I think it's a stretchy bind off. 22 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,440 So that's good. 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,440 Yeah, it's a stretchy. 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:26,080 So that's going to take like another 12,000 years. 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:33,040 And then I had to pick up the collar and do like another ribbing section, which I don't 26 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,920 think it's as long as the hem, but it's still ribbing. 27 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:37,920 So 24,000 years. 28 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:38,920 So 24,000 years from now. 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,920 We'll have a Diège vest. 30 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,920 Maybe. 31 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,080 Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. 32 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,080 Well, I don't know. 33 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,080 No, no, no, no, no, no. 34 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,760 Because 24,000 years, she will be picking up the stitches for the collar. 35 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:50,760 Oh yeah. 36 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,840 Because the first two parts were just the ribbing and the bind off. 37 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,400 You might have to leave instructions for the future generations. 38 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,720 Or I may just live forever until I get this done. 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,720 I don't know. 40 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,520 But so in the year, like 6024. 41 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,120 No, that's not enough years. 42 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,680 That's not enough years. 43 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:10,680 We're close. 44 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,680 We're getting there. 45 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,760 It is a good pattern. 46 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:19,200 Like there's a few confusing parts in it and it might just be the wording on the size that 47 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,880 I was doing. 48 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:27,880 And I did find out my issue with the chart was for some reason, like when I printed it, 49 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,120 it did something weird with the settings. 50 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,360 So it like printed a little off. 51 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,860 So that was not the pattern's fault. 52 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:38,400 That was for whatever reason, my printer being funky when it resized it. 53 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,000 But yeah, otherwise, the cables are beautiful. 54 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,800 Yeah, I, there was just looking at it. 55 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,440 I was like, wow, this was a lot more stockinette and ribbing than I thought it was when I chose 56 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,440 this pattern. 57 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,440 But I'm in it now. 58 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:53,160 I'm going to finish too far in too far too far too far to go in. 59 00:02:53,160 --> 00:03:00,120 I am still working on the French can can by Mademoiselle C and I am using Madeline Tosh 60 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,520 yarn for the main body. 61 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:12,040 I use Tosh DK in home means Nevada and for the border, which I am now plugging away on, 62 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:17,320 I am using Tosh vintage in Ry bourbon and is plugging away. 63 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,880 I like the colors together. 64 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,480 I really got you. 65 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:26,440 And I'm still digging the cables, but it's, it's a lot of little back and forths and the 66 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,560 little back and forths are killing me. 67 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,280 How far are you? 68 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,280 This far. 69 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,880 Wow. 70 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,000 For our listeners reference, three inches. 71 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Nah, it's about six. 72 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 I'd say six. 73 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,000 That's six inches. 74 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Yeah. 75 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 I was about to say three. 76 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 What is wrong with my size reference? 77 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,640 Meg was right. 78 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,840 It's no Meg was wrong. 79 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:49,840 It is eight. 80 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,560 Oh, I have done eight inches. 81 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,200 Well, don't count me to measure anything because I thought that was three. 82 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,200 Geez. 83 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,880 On the other hand, I'm glad that you were wrong because oh my God, that would mean that 84 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:06,600 would be so far behind. 85 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,960 Tina I got nothing. 86 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:09,960 You got nothing. 87 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:10,960 Fair. 88 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,960 That's it. 89 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:12,960 That's fair. 90 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,960 Meg. 91 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:18,040 Um, I am working on Ocean Stones by Greta Menzen. 92 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:25,800 Um, I mentioned before that this was a project that I started in early 2023 and for a multitude 93 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,800 of reasons, I gave up on it. 94 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:33,560 Um, but the yarn and the pattern combo would not enjoy that. 95 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,560 Sorry. 96 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,560 I'm squishing. 97 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,560 No, I'm squishing. 98 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,560 I am enjoying it. 99 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,040 I would not get out of my head. 100 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:45,560 I really, I just wanted, I did not buy this yarn with this pattern in mind, but the minute 101 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,160 I saw it on Ravelry, I was like, that's exactly the yarn I want to use for it. 102 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,800 I'm using Fiberspates Vivaceous DK in the colorway Heavenly. 103 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,920 It's this really great like amalgamation of it looks gray from far away, but if you look 104 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:04,040 at it, it's got some lilacs, some blue, some pink. 105 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,560 Um, it's good yarn. 106 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,560 It's gorgeous. 107 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,840 It's, it's honestly one of the best yarns I've ever worked with. 108 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,840 It's super squishy. 109 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,520 Um, you got your little mini minder there. 110 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:24,200 I am this, this has been the like absolute lifesaver of my summer, um, because I have 111 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:30,280 been wanting to knit, but I also want to get my steps in, um, and walk. 112 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:35,400 So what I've been doing, and especially when I had COVID, um, a few weeks ago and couldn't 113 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:41,240 really leave the house, I just looped it, loop it over my wrist and I just literally 114 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,400 pace my house knitting and it's fantastic. 115 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,640 It holds my yarn. 116 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:51,720 Um, the only downside is that, um, because I, and I think you have to with the mini minder, 117 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,560 um, I pull my yarn from the outside of the ball. 118 00:05:54,560 --> 00:06:00,320 Sometimes the yarn does fall and I'll also look down and I've got like four feet of string 119 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,360 dangling behind me and Mira is like, well, that's awesome. 120 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,360 Look at that. 121 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,360 And she starts to chase. 122 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:11,080 Um, but again, it takes me all of three seconds to stop and wrap it around. 123 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,720 I cannot recommend this thing more. 124 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,840 I got it from Jimmy beans, wool.com. 125 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,880 They have a whole bunch of different types. 126 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,680 Um, but this thing is amazing. 127 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:25,600 I have not actually used it to walk around outside yet because it is just too hot, but 128 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:31,280 I am absolutely when the weather gets cold, I'm going to be that guy, um, taking walks 129 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,320 with, um, with my mini minder and my knitting. 130 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,320 Absolutely. 131 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,320 It's really fun. 132 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:41,680 Be sure to check out our website, pardon my stash.com for more information about our patterns 133 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:47,600 and projects and be sure to check out Jimmy beans, wool at jimmy beans, wool.com for the 134 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:57,320 mini minder and, um, also the yarn that Drea listed in her project, the Madeline Tosh DK. 135 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,960 So tonight we don't really have a topic. 136 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,840 Oh no, we don't. 137 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,680 You're not going to do, where did it go? 138 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,680 We're going to wing it. 139 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,680 We're going to wing it tonight. 140 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,320 To be, we do everything else in life. 141 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:09,680 Wing it like everything in your life. 142 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,480 Hey, this whole podcast was a wing. 143 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:12,480 It really was. 144 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:18,440 Um, so in the interest of complete transparency, we sat down tonight, uh, to talk about what 145 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,720 we were going to discuss on the podcast. 146 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:29,720 And after about 45 minutes, tossing ideas around and looking back on our history of 147 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:36,320 recording and realizing that we really tend to do better when we are not forcing a topic 148 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,560 that we're not feeling. 149 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,120 We decided tonight that we were going to be a little bit real. 150 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,880 We're still going to be talking about knitting, but we are going to be honest. 151 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,920 We are about halfway, a little more than halfway through 2024. 152 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:52,320 So we're going to be taking a look back at the last few months, talk about a little bit 153 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:57,580 like how we got to this point, what's been good, what's been less than good and where 154 00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:00,160 we're kind of looking to go for the rest of the year. 155 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:06,080 Um, we're coming up on our hundredth episode in a couple of months and we are ramping up 156 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,080 to that. 157 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,080 We're super excited about it. 158 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:13,200 So kind of taking a minute or, you know, several minutes tonight to kind of reflect on what 159 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,200 we've been doing. 160 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:23,320 Um, we had to, at the beginning of the year, move our podcast from weekly episodes to two 161 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,320 episodes a month. 162 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,680 A couple of times this year we have had to put the podcast on hold. 163 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,160 So kind of talking a little bit tonight, being real with you and being transparent about 164 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:37,680 where we are, where our projects are at, like not the projects we're working on, but kind 165 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,480 of our body of work in general. 166 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,160 And we're going to be taking this for the rest of the year. 167 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,280 The year has been kind of up and down, lots of up and downs for everybody. 168 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,680 Yeah, I know. 169 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:53,680 It's like these bursts of crazy productivity and then nothing. 170 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,560 I don't know. 171 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,560 That's mainly how I feel. 172 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:01,840 I'm feeling like the yo-yo of like crazy productivity. 173 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,280 When said the yo-yo going right back up, you know, it hits the floor and it falls out of 174 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,800 your hand, rolls under the couch and you have to kind of like get all that back before you 175 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,000 start your. 176 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,640 And then you like pull it, you see it from under the couch, but then it rolls back some 177 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,800 more and you're like, crap. 178 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,720 And you're just, you're just like reaching. 179 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,620 Honestly, the way I've been looking, I like feeling a lot of ways this year. 180 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:25,640 It's like, and I think many of you know what I'm talking about and you say you, you are 181 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,160 all excited to start a project. 182 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,680 You're super pumped. 183 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:34,320 You pull out your Swift and your ball winder or you're winding my hand and you're getting 184 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:40,480 all pumped and then all of a sudden you get a massive knot in the yarn, in the Hank. 185 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:46,320 And if you're like me, you're real dramatic about it. 186 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:51,720 And then, you know, you spend X amount of time untangling it. 187 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:56,080 You finally get the ball back and then you sit there and go, well, now I don't want to 188 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,080 do it. 189 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,920 And that's kind of been out of here. 190 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:07,640 Well, now I just, I have lost all my momentum, all of my dry like, and I'll come back to 191 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,640 it. 192 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:14,440 Like it will happen, but it's going to take me some time to really get jazzed up about 193 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,840 this again. 194 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,680 I have not been jazzed about knitting like all year. 195 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:19,680 Really? 196 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,680 Yeah. 197 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,680 Yeah. 198 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,240 I've had, I had a really rough like first half of the year, like personally speaking, 199 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,700 I had a lot of problems with pain management. 200 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,880 Not my fault. 201 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,880 Definitely not. 202 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,880 Definitely not. 203 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:39,720 But going through different pockets of really intense pain and then having to recover from 204 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:45,640 that and then having it happen a second time, needing to have more capacity to get through 205 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,760 my day than to put towards hobbies and projects. 206 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,400 And I don't even want to say it like this, but it felt like knitting was almost like 207 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,760 a punishment for me for a little while because I felt like I needed to, I needed to do stuff 208 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:05,480 and I did get my, my arachnish all done and I'm very happy with completing that. 209 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,200 You should be. 210 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,880 It's the only thing that I finished this year. 211 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:09,880 I didn't finish mine. 212 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:10,880 I know. 213 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:11,880 But you will. 214 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:12,880 I will. 215 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:20,560 At one, at one point you will, but it's just, it's, it's been rough and the last like maybe 216 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:26,200 two or three weeks I've had some kind of drive to do something, but it has not been it for 217 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,720 me this year. 218 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,680 And that makes me very sad, but I think, I think it's making a comeback, but it's just 219 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:38,120 been unfortunately knitting is not one of those things that you can kind of like fake 220 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,240 it till you make it. 221 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,320 It's really not. 222 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,080 You can try to fake it, but you also shouldn't. 223 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,400 Like it's a hobby. 224 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,240 Like your heart, if your heart isn't in it, right. 225 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:54,240 It's not like you don't have to do this, but it can feel like it because it's, it's frustrating 226 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,000 being like, but this is my joy. 227 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:02,040 Like why am I not enjoying the thing that brings me so much pleasure? 228 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,840 And maybe if I keep doing it, right. 229 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,800 And the joy will come, right. 230 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,680 And it didn't, but, but, but you feel like it should. 231 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,680 Yes. 232 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,680 You feel like it should. 233 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,760 And then I think that that should also makes it that much worse because now you're putting 234 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:16,760 extra extra expectations. 235 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:17,760 Yeah. 236 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,240 And you're disappointed because the thing that should be making you happy is not, is 237 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,200 just not, I know it's frustrating. 238 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,680 It's been, it's been frustrating. 239 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:29,760 Now that I'm finally like picking stuff up again and you know, wanting to do stuff, it's 240 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,760 summer. 241 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:31,760 Yes. 242 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,840 Not the ideal knitting time. 243 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,040 And I don't care so much that it's hot out. 244 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:42,640 Like I've got, I've got things with temperature, like temperature doesn't bother me anymore, 245 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,760 but I still get the sweaty hands. 246 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,240 Right. 247 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,280 It's not the ideal time to be using wool. 248 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,000 No, it's just not. 249 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,920 I feel like I'm going to have a major comeback for like fall though. 250 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,560 I'm holding out for fall. 251 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,040 I think it's going to be socks. 252 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,840 You know, it has been so long. 253 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,480 When was the last pair? 254 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,640 Was it like 2021? 255 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,080 Was it when we did the football socks? 256 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,600 Is that the last pair of socks? 257 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,760 I think that's the last pair of socks. 258 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:09,760 Yeah. 259 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,760 It's been way too long. 260 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,760 It's three years. 261 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,760 That's a long time for socks. 262 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:17,800 I feel like there's going to be a Sunday swing coming up. 263 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,040 We see a wicked crop of Sunday swing on their way. 264 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,480 Oh, it's going to be so good. 265 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,480 Here we go. 266 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,240 You know, if, but that's the thing. 267 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,440 If someone, if there were ever a comfort knitting project. 268 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,720 Oh, that's it. 269 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,720 That's the one. 270 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,320 That's the one right there. 271 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,720 I've actually been spending a lot more time just like doing alternative things that make 272 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,720 me happy. 273 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:42,120 Like I reserve Sundays for, for Frank. 274 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,360 So it's just me and Frank on Sundays and we do ice cream Sundays. 275 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,840 I think that is delightful. 276 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,480 It is so delightful. 277 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:57,560 And each Sunday we will go for a hike in the morning and then we will pick a different 278 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:03,880 small local ice ice cream shop in Connecticut and we will go there and we will get like 279 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:08,680 delicious, handmade, homemade ice cream. 280 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,120 And it's just, it's been amazing. 281 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,400 I love that for you in the best sense. 282 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,680 Like I know, I know that that can be taken different ways, but I love that for you. 283 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,320 It's a fun activity. 284 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,360 And I love ice cream. 285 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,360 I don't know, man. 286 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:29,960 My, I have been so incredibly distracted by everything. 287 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,240 Focus days are great and I get a ton accomplished in them. 288 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,520 And I don't know what I do half the time. 289 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,880 Like I'm sitting here trying to remember like, what have I done? 290 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,000 You've done about seven projects. 291 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,600 I have done a lot of projects since you had surgery. 292 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,800 Like that was the best time to do them. 293 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,000 And I mean, I played a lot of Zelda. 294 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,040 So I had that going for me for a while, but it was like, I was doing that. 295 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:58,120 And then I finished like defeating something that I've been trying to for a while. 296 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,600 I'm like, yeah, now I'm going to knit. 297 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,400 And then I was on knitting for a while. 298 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,840 And then, I don't know, I went off and did something else for a bit because there was 299 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:05,840 like a gap. 300 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:10,440 There was a gap between one of my color work projects. 301 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,880 And then the next one I picked up. 302 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:13,880 You were felting. 303 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,920 Oh yeah, I was felting. 304 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:20,680 So I made a few more borbs and then, and I stopped that for a while. 305 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,780 And then we died for a bit. 306 00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,280 Like yarn not died. 307 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,280 Wow. 308 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,280 I missed that. 309 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:31,500 Just throwing that out there for anyone that's like, wait, what? 310 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,760 I had Legos for a while. 311 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,760 That was great. 312 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:39,320 Legos was a good time. 313 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:44,600 And the birds, we got more bird feeders up that bear knocked down and squished. 314 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,940 And we just got some new bird feeders. 315 00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:48,940 So I've been watching birds. 316 00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:52,640 It's the most random tension of things. 317 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,640 It's funny. 318 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,280 Guys, we've got no hatches and runs now. 319 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,280 It's amazing. 320 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,880 And three different types of peggers. 321 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,160 Wondering what it's like to live in this house. 322 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,160 This is what it's like. 323 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,560 Yeah, I'm getting a little. 324 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:09,520 Hopefully tonight, like there's a lot of zero to nine thousand. 325 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,520 No in between. 326 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,960 You know what, Jess, for all of those things. 327 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,580 Congratulations. 328 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:20,960 So I was thinking to myself, did I make anything this year? 329 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,420 And then I realized I did make things, but I gave them all away. 330 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,420 Like every single one. 331 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:26,420 I didn't make anything for myself. 332 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:27,420 You got the chicken. 333 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,420 Yeah, you made the chicken. 334 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,420 No, my mom has the chicken now. 335 00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:39,160 My mom has that chicken and the rainbow chicken went to Jojo. 336 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,560 So time to make another chicken, I guess. 337 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,880 Yeah, I have like seven in progress chickens right now. 338 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:45,880 I finished them up. 339 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,280 They got I have two that have faces and their little. 340 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:55,080 Oh, they called cobs or I think on the top of their head, their head glove. 341 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,920 Yes, their head glove and their missing tails. 342 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:04,640 And then I have a bunch that need faces and tails. 343 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,000 We're going to go with head glove, Meg. 344 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Don't get mad. 345 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,200 I'm not a biology teacher. 346 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:14,120 I don't actually know the name and I'm sitting here like I just can't remember it. 347 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,120 Somebody's going to tell us. 348 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,120 I'm sure. 349 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,120 I'm sure. 350 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,120 And you know what? 351 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,120 Congratulations. 352 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,640 The person who could correct us about head gloves. 353 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,640 OK, so the gobble cobble. 354 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,960 OK, it's the gobble cobble. 355 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:31,440 I can't do this scientific name right there. 356 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,600 Last project I finished on Ravelry was the Funfetti sweater for my daughter. 357 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400 That was a good one. 358 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,400 That was a cute sweater. 359 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,400 It's an ad. 360 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,600 The pattern is like an adult size sweater. 361 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,600 And I, you know, resized it down to fit a child. 362 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,200 She really loves that sweater. 363 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:55,720 And then non Ravelry is just been mostly chickens. 364 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,080 Probably if not all chickens, I think it's just been chickens. 365 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,000 I love the chickens, though. 366 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,800 Yeah, they're like they're easy wins. 367 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,680 They don't take very long to make. 368 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,120 You can literally use any yarn you have in your stash. 369 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:14,240 The only ones that you kind of have to make a certain color are like the tail to match 370 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,400 the body. 371 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:20,840 The eyes and the beak should probably be eyes and be colored and and the head gloves got 372 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,840 to be red. 373 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:26,000 The gobble gobbles. 374 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,960 Well, we've always said to like it's not it's not how many you finish. 375 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960 Oh, yeah. 376 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,960 Like we're not. 377 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,960 It's just that you did it. 378 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,440 But it is frustrating when you've had like a drought. 379 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,840 It's frustrating. 380 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,080 You know, there's not a deadline. 381 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,120 There's no like we don't we don't have to do this. 382 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,800 Yeah, it's not a job. 383 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,800 I'm not gonna lie. 384 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,400 I did almost this entire body in like a day. 385 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,400 Some days be like that. 386 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,400 Some days it do. 387 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,400 And you know what? 388 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:55,720 Now the borders, the border is to be fair, borders kind of suck. 389 00:18:55,720 --> 00:19:01,280 I just I just did the math and for the number of stitches that I have for the border, I'm 390 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,880 going to have to do this repeat 26 times. 391 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:05,880 It be like that. 392 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,880 Congratulations. 393 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,440 Let me just put some applause. 394 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,040 Is that from my basic math skills? 395 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,120 Yes, I'm very proud of you. 396 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,120 Very proud of you. 397 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:21,200 Yeah, so for me, beginning of the year, I was recovering from a stroke like event. 398 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,560 It wasn't a stroke. 399 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,840 We found that out, at least. 400 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:30,960 But I've been in like a lot of different diagnostic testing, trying to figure out what the heck 401 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,360 is going on with my left side. 402 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:39,320 When we and if you saw me at Reinbeck in October last year, then you may have noted that I 403 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:43,040 was having a very hard time moving around because it had literally just happened like 404 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,200 what the week before it was like. 405 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,200 Yeah. 406 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,240 And dear, dear Frank was pushing me everywhere in my wheelchair. 407 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,720 He was such a superhero that day. 408 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,080 He was like, no, this is my job. 409 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,080 Okay. 410 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,680 You took it very seriously. 411 00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:02,040 But yeah, so it took a while for me to get back to like walking on my own without needing 412 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,840 like a walker assistance. 413 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,600 I mean, I still use the cane from time to time. 414 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,440 If I have good days, I have bad days. 415 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:17,880 So a lot of that beginning of the year was that's why I have like projects in my ravelry 416 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:22,640 because like the beginning of the year, I was actually using it as a form of like occupational 417 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,240 therapy to get my left hand to like respond. 418 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:31,880 So knitting was actually like when I told them I was a knitter, he was like, yeah, do 419 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:32,880 that. 420 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:33,880 Do that. 421 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,920 That's going to be your physical therapy. 422 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,360 I'm like, okay. 423 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:42,040 So, so I've been, you know, was trying to do that for a while. 424 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,760 The year was kind of tough for me in general so far. 425 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:50,640 But yeah, I'm not in a knitting mood right now just because I lost my father at the beginning 426 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,920 of the month. 427 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:58,120 And I was very close to my father. 428 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,880 And I don't know, I just, I feel like I've just had like so many things going on, like 429 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:09,720 trying to like help with all of that because my brother also passed like 10 years ago. 430 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,400 So it's just really like me and my mom. 431 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:17,360 And I'm trying to like make sure that, you know, she's all set with everything. 432 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:24,340 So I've been so like attention wise, I've been completely diverted to like paperwork. 433 00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:31,440 That's the best way I can express it is just papers, doing papers about papers and legal 434 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,120 and papers and more papers. 435 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:39,800 Well, the hobbies will be there for you when you're ready to return to them. 436 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:45,760 Yeah, it's just like, honestly, like I don't, I have like zero like a negative energy. 437 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:51,040 Like I even, I like put my chickens out and all I have to do is give this chicken a face 438 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,200 and it's a very simple way to like put the face on. 439 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,320 And I'm just like, it's just not there. 440 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,920 It's just not there. 441 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,640 That was me for like the entire first half of the year. 442 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,640 Yeah. 443 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,800 So I keep pulling them out and then I put them back in the bag when I realized this today 444 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,800 is not the day. 445 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,960 And there were a lot of days where I'd pull out my knitting. 446 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,680 I do like a quarter of a row and I'd be like, okay, that's it. 447 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:16,680 Yeah. 448 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,200 So I don't know where this whole thing came from. 449 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:23,920 But I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I definitely did that there is a kind 450 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:30,000 of a mythos around knitting and grief or crafting and grief. 451 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:37,080 There are so many books, mostly fiction written about knitting being like this great healer. 452 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,480 And I found that was not the case. 453 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:45,440 No, I did not knit for about 18 months after my dad passed. 454 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,440 Yeah. 455 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:51,000 And I, and I don't think there's a norm, but I also, I also found that really frustrating 456 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:57,760 because back to the idea of like, this is my joy, why am I not doing what makes me happy? 457 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:02,720 I think there is kind of like an expectation of like, when you are grieving, throw yourself 458 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,160 into the things that you like and that will make it better. 459 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,280 And I don't think that is necessarily the case. 460 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,400 I agree with that. 461 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,400 Yeah. 462 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,760 Now see, I am a grief knitter. 463 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:20,560 You taught me to knit while I was grieving because I needed something to do. 464 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:29,000 And I took to knitting like fish to water and I hyper focused on it to the point that 465 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:35,160 I was using it as a way to not actually deal with the grief. 466 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:40,320 It was a redirective, but it didn't, I don't want to say it helped me through the grief, 467 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,000 but it distracted you delayed. 468 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,000 Yeah. 469 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000 Yeah. 470 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,080 I don't think there's like, again, putting the expectation on things one way or another, 471 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:54,200 but I was kind of surprised. 472 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,080 And I was very surprised, you know, years before I had ever experienced a loss like 473 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:03,960 that, being like, wow, why is every single knitting book about people knitting after 474 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,760 something awful has happened to them? 475 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,600 Like, is that a thing? 476 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,680 And I'm sure it is. 477 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,680 I'm sure it is. 478 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,640 I'm sure for some people it's like, but it's not universal. 479 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,360 It's not universal at all. 480 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,360 I did. 481 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:21,960 I would like when everything kind of went down, I was actually, I was bringing a knitting 482 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:27,760 bag with me whenever I would like, I was basically spending like every day at my mom's. 483 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,680 So it was like just bringing one with me just in case for some reason I felt like I needed 484 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,680 to. 485 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,880 Um, I never pulled it out. 486 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:40,280 It was just, I don't know, but it was your emotional support project and it was there. 487 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,720 Yeah, it was there. 488 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,040 It would, but I just, I never pulled it out. 489 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:48,400 And then, um, I think I even brought it with me to the funeral on the wake, never pulled 490 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:49,400 it out. 491 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,400 And I definitely had mine in the car. 492 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,920 Yeah, I don't know, but like it just, yeah. 493 00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:01,520 And then I've, you know, I do, I carry it's the, my high vis beanie because it's easy. 494 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:06,000 It's just too, too, too, too, just over and over and over again. 495 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:12,540 So it's easy to just kind of mindlessly knit it, but I have no, no desire to like pick 496 00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:18,600 up needles right now, which is hard because like when you have like, you know, I have 497 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:24,260 this Instagram account that's all about fiber arts and about me making like funny jokes 498 00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:25,760 about fiber arts. 499 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:30,600 And then like, I am, I am right now feeling like the direct opposite of all of that. 500 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:36,360 Like I don't want to knit and I definitely don't feel like making funny jokes about knitting 501 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:37,360 right now. 502 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:42,180 So it's just like, so I ended up posting a real because like I felt bad because I was 503 00:25:42,180 --> 00:25:45,160 getting all these messages of people asking me how I was. 504 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:50,120 And I just felt like I needed to be honest about like where I was at. 505 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:53,920 Like it's, you know, I'm not like saying I quit. 506 00:25:53,920 --> 00:26:02,120 I just, I just need to like refocus for a bit and see what happens and you know, going 507 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,600 from there. 508 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:09,720 It's just hard because like, and it's like dealing with, you know, obviously my, my father's 509 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,920 passing and then dealing with my own medical problems, which are still ongoing. 510 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,800 And I'm still doing all this diagnostic testing and fighting with insurance and dealing with 511 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,160 like all these different things with that. 512 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:30,160 And, and then I found out that my dog has a benign malignant tumor near his kidney and 513 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:35,080 we're not doing anything for it because he's 11 and there's no reason to put him through 514 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,080 that. 515 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:43,280 So like, I just felt like I had a bad cupcake and then it just, it started stacking and 516 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:49,240 then I just, I just, I'm staring at a stacked bad cupcake tower. 517 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,840 Then I'm just like, I don't slowly sliding apart. 518 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:53,840 Yeah. 519 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,880 I'm just like, I don't feel like I actually have to say like, even my therapist told me 520 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,480 like I'm handling it really well. 521 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,840 Like in general, like I'm, I'm grieving when I need to grieve. 522 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:12,400 I'm crying when I need to cry doing all that, but like, I'm not, I'm not necessarily like 523 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:17,600 catastrophizing and I'm not like going into some deep hole and I'm not, I'm still like 524 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,600 functional. 525 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:24,880 I can still like get up every day and like take a shower and get dressed and you know, 526 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,080 do I take my moments in the shower? 527 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,080 Absolutely. 528 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,920 Do I take my moments when I go to sleep? 529 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:30,920 Absolutely. 530 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:37,640 Like I'm not like dysfunctional right now and you don't have the time to handle all 531 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,120 of that and do crafting on top of that. 532 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,120 Yeah. 533 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:45,640 I think that's kind of, it's like, I just, even when I'm like, okay, I have a minute. 534 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:50,120 It's like the minute is to like, go like take care of my bills or something. 535 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:54,160 Cause like I haven't done because I'm doing like all this other stuff. 536 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,360 So it's just a lot of stuff. 537 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:03,400 And also like, I thought I would be better about like going places and going and seeing 538 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,040 like other people. 539 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,880 And you know, I always bring my knitting whenever I go to any kind of social event, because 540 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,880 usually I don't want to socialize and I will, you know, just be behind my knitting and they'll 541 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,520 be like, oh yeah, that's Tina. 542 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,520 She's just over there. 543 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:23,800 She's really nice, but she usually doesn't, you know, come out of the knitting bag. 544 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:28,640 But like even going to like those kinds of things, it was just like weird. 545 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,640 It felt so weird. 546 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,440 Like being at any kind of social gathering or anything. 547 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,960 So not with you guys. 548 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:37,960 I don't know why. 549 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,200 I don't know why the podcast doesn't put me off at all, but it really doesn't. 550 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:46,640 I feel like maybe it's just so comfortable to be at the podcast and the lack of expectation 551 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:47,640 to perform. 552 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:48,640 Oh yeah. 553 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:49,640 Yeah, absolutely. 554 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,240 Cause this is our nit night. 555 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,080 We're just going to hang out. 556 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:58,080 And then there's no, um, there's no burden of expectation to be a certain way or act 557 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,040 a certain way. 558 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,480 Nope. 559 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:07,000 So that's why it's easy to chat on here. 560 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000 Release my skeletons. 561 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000 That's how they come out. 562 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:16,600 But yeah, I'm fine. 563 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:21,640 Like I don't want everyone going like, please don't like bombard me with like, oh my God, 564 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:22,640 like I'm so sorry. 565 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,640 I get it. 566 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:24,640 I'm good. 567 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:31,480 I just, it is a lot and knitting is not the chickens will have to wait. 568 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,840 They'll be there when you're ready. 569 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,840 Chickens will have to wait. 570 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:43,640 They're just going to have to sit on the shelf and wait for me to figure my life out one 571 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,160 day. 572 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,600 I had a really good year in 2023. 573 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,800 I felt really good about the way things had worked out. 574 00:29:54,800 --> 00:30:00,880 Just realizing that I loved to hike and climbing Lafayette and kind of that culminated the 575 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:06,520 end of like three years or three and a half years of trying to kind of deal with, with 576 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,340 my dad's passing. 577 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:12,780 This past year has been a lot of, okay, now what? 578 00:30:12,780 --> 00:30:20,680 And balancing a lot of work obligations with family obligations. 579 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:27,760 I'm in my fifth year of teaching, which fingers crossed means I'm tenured in the fall, which 580 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:28,760 is really exciting. 581 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,400 I haven't gotten a confirmation for that. 582 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:36,520 Well, yeah, I know we can yank that back if I don't. 583 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,600 They said there's no reason why I shouldn't, but I, you know, you know, you know, you like 584 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,600 to see those things. 585 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,440 Like, yeah, I want to see you in writing. 586 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,120 But that's come on the wave of going back to school. 587 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:59,480 And I feel like I missed a lot of things in the three years, four years, four years that 588 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,880 I was kind of trying to figure myself out. 589 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:08,960 And I really felt like the first, like from 2019 to 2023, I was kind of just floating 590 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,600 and just kind of existing. 591 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:17,040 2023, I started to kind of come out of my shell again and find things that I liked to 592 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:22,480 do and start to actually take care of myself as a person, realizing that I had let so much 593 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,040 of myself go. 594 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,760 I was completely sedentary. 595 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:32,080 I had really not think thought about anything that I really, you know, aside from knitting 596 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,280 that I really liked to do. 597 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:40,760 And I spent a lot of time focusing on my kid because that's what you do. 598 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,760 It is what you do. 599 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:50,080 But it was also like not not to bring up a really painful topic, but like the realization 600 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,920 after my dad passed, I'm like, I cannot stop. 601 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,680 I have a I had a 10 week old child. 602 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,000 Like I have got to keep moving. 603 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,660 I cannot stop. 604 00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:02,220 My world will not stop. 605 00:32:02,220 --> 00:32:10,260 And I really think that I kind of like zeroed in on her and I made her like my whole everything. 606 00:32:10,260 --> 00:32:14,840 And it was like all of a sudden in the last few months, it was like I opened my eyes and 607 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,640 I'm like, this is a child. 608 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,320 She is not a baby. 609 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,040 She is not helpless. 610 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:25,680 Like I'm watching this kid problem solve and figure things out. 611 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:29,960 Sent her to camp this week and I was so anxious dropping her off. 612 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,560 I'm like, oh my God, is she going to cry? 613 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,740 I had to practically pry her out of the seat to come home every day. 614 00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:35,740 She had a blast. 615 00:32:35,740 --> 00:32:38,480 Like she is so independent. 616 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:44,040 And then realizing like, OK, she is fine. 617 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:52,040 I need to figure out now, like personally and academically and career wise, I need to figure 618 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:58,520 out what I'm doing with my life independently of not to say completely independently of 619 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,240 my child because she is five. 620 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:05,600 She's not a teenager, but she doesn't need the hovering anymore. 621 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,560 And honestly, worrying more that I'm doing her a detriment by hovering because for so 622 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,400 long it was like, well, I can't I can't do this. 623 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,400 I can't think this. 624 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,400 I have got to. 625 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,960 This is this is my whole little world. 626 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:25,040 And that's also not the kind of I don't I did not want her to grow up thinking like 627 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,920 you are the only thing in my life. 628 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,400 Like you are I am a person independent of you. 629 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,600 I have interests. 630 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:32,640 I have friends. 631 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:33,640 I have hobbies. 632 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:34,640 So totally relate. 633 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,640 Yeah. 634 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,240 This summer has been a lot. 635 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:43,200 And unfortunately, then, you know, this summer was kind of crazy because I got covid and 636 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:44,400 then I started hiking again. 637 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,880 I'm pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis in my foot. 638 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,880 So that's been fun. 639 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,360 So I haven't been able to like hike as much as I wanted to and do as much as I wanted 640 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:52,360 to. 641 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:58,400 And then kind of like that almost felt almost a little bit like some pressure off of I spent 642 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:04,000 a lot of my time like moving my focus from my child to hiking. 643 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:10,920 And now it's like I'm being forced to be like, OK, what who actually am I when I am not throwing 644 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:19,000 myself completely into one thing or another and trying to find a more healthy work life 645 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:26,080 balance, independent of all of those things that I was kind of like fixating on to try 646 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,200 to not look at where I was going. 647 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,920 Like I felt like I woke up last September and I'm like, OK, I'm 40. 648 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,960 Like this is a whole new decade of my life. 649 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:35,960 And where am I going? 650 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,920 And I still don't quite know where I'm going. 651 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:42,640 But I feel like I'm getting a better grasp on where I want to go. 652 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:43,640 If that makes sense. 653 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:44,640 Yeah, I know. 654 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,640 I know it does. 655 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:46,640 No, it does. 656 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:53,560 Like I can totally relate to that feeling because I felt even prior to my father passing, 657 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,920 like this feeling of like, OK, who am I? 658 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:07,320 Because my the difference being that my kids are older than yours and they were nine going 659 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:14,720 on 14, very independent, which I was so happy that they felt confident to be themselves. 660 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,200 They knew how to take care of themselves to a degree. 661 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:21,640 Like they were very confident in the person that they were and they really didn't need 662 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,680 me on them all the time. 663 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,440 So then like, OK, so now what do I do? 664 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,560 Kind of like I've switched to like this part time working and it's like, I don't know if 665 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,040 that's like what I want to do forever. 666 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:39,300 And then like, yeah, having this like thought of like, what is Tina? 667 00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:45,240 And then like with my dad passing and he's and what I would consider like a big piece 668 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,900 of Tina, like, OK, so now that's gone. 669 00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:51,720 So like, what what is the rest of it? 670 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:53,360 Like, you know, who are we? 671 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:58,020 And I think that's a problem with and I don't know, I cannot speak for for the men folk 672 00:35:58,020 --> 00:35:59,020 among us. 673 00:35:59,020 --> 00:36:04,440 I don't know what it's like to be a guy and have male pressure as a female speaking from 674 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:10,360 female experience, like the idea that the expectation of, you know, being a wife, being 675 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:15,720 a mom, being like all of those roles and kind of the expectation of like doing it all, but 676 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,600 doing it seamlessly. 677 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:23,520 And don't complain and don't ever don't make it look hard because of course, we'll just 678 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,480 knit while the roast is in the oven. 679 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:29,360 And have the perfect hair and the perfect makeup and the perfect outfit. 680 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:30,360 Yeah. 681 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:36,440 But but then there is like a whole lot of like when you strip away those layers, who 682 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,080 is that person underneath? 683 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:43,640 And I don't even think that that needs to be a married thing or a but there is so much 684 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:51,080 expectation, I think, to whether you are married or not, a mother or not, to do it and make 685 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,320 it look easy. 686 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,840 Don't complain and don't think about what you want beyond that. 687 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:04,400 I guess it's kind of unsurprising to kind of figure out as things change, where am I 688 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,240 going and what am I doing? 689 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:13,120 If anything, it sounds like for everybody, it's been like such an unsure year, like just 690 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:19,720 kind of not really knowing what to feel or what to do or like switching from thing to 691 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:25,440 thing or like, you know, in Jess's case, like this thing, that thing, that thing. 692 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:32,480 And in Dre's case, you know, I don't like I can't physically do this and I don't like 693 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,320 have the mojo to do this. 694 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,240 And like, so what else do I do? 695 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,000 And you know how you're speaking on that. 696 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:43,640 Like I feel like it's just maybe that's why we're sitting here and taking 45 minutes to 697 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,920 come up with a topic because we are literally unsure about everything else. 698 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,400 How the heck are we going to be sure about a topic? 699 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:51,400 You know what I mean? 700 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,360 Well, there's a lot there's a lot going on. 701 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,360 Yeah. 702 00:37:54,360 --> 00:38:01,040 And I mean, I will like we were saying beforehand, like all of us have still crafted in different 703 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,040 spheres. 704 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,120 Like, I didn't finish anything until June. 705 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,120 Nothing. 706 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,320 Listen, it's nothing until June. 707 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,320 Ma'am. 708 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,560 And it took me that long to get to get into the swing of knitting. 709 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,720 And I've you know, I feel I feel better now. 710 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:15,720 Like I want to do it. 711 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:21,600 But for the first like five months of the year, I think I cast five projects on. 712 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,880 It just wasn't happening. 713 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:31,920 And I think, you know, we talked earlier when when Dre was talking about how like the worst 714 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,260 thing you can do is be like, I'm doing this. 715 00:38:35,260 --> 00:38:36,260 This is fun. 716 00:38:36,260 --> 00:38:37,260 We're having fun. 717 00:38:37,260 --> 00:38:38,920 I'm going to do this and I'm going to have fun. 718 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,960 And you're not going to have fun. 719 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:48,800 And that's kind of how we we got to that point in this episode of like we we love to do this 720 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:49,800 podcast. 721 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,520 We enjoy talking together. 722 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,920 We love to knit. 723 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,000 Sometimes it's just not all coming together. 724 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,760 It's just not coming together. 725 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,440 And we won't be here forever. 726 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,440 And we've done this long enough. 727 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,240 We know we won't be in this place forever. 728 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:06,880 However, I do think that I just walked into putting my project down for a while because 729 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,400 I have extra stitches. 730 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,640 Oh, no. 731 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:17,120 I hate that for you. 732 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,280 It's time to knit a hat or socks. 733 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,280 That's what it's time for. 734 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,280 I need some more. 735 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:23,720 A quick win. 736 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:27,360 I need some wherewithal to figure out like knit a preemie hat. 737 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:33,840 They go fast or go find like that yarn you've been dying to knit socks with and go throw 738 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,640 a Sunday swing pair on those needles and just do it. 739 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,720 I do severely miss the Sunday. 740 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:40,720 Just do it. 741 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:41,720 It'll make you feel good. 742 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:46,280 I know this is a deviation and I know this is going to be really hard for you to cast 743 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,560 on a second project while I have one. 744 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:52,920 I really think don't have palpitations. 745 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,720 I really think this will be good for you. 746 00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:56,920 Yeah, I think it'll be good for you. 747 00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:03,640 Fine if I just like stick in a bag somewhere and you can pretend that you don't have it. 748 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:04,640 I have corn. 749 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,400 I do have problems with object. 750 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,400 There you go. 751 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,400 I don't see it. 752 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,240 It doesn't put it in the bag and cast on some Sunday swing. 753 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,120 And you can just say, no, this is my only project. 754 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,160 And you know what? 755 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,140 We'll even go along with it for you. 756 00:40:17,140 --> 00:40:18,140 We'll do that for you. 757 00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:19,840 We will never ever mention this shawl. 758 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,880 We will not bring up until you cast off the socks and we'll be like, how's the shawl? 759 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:24,880 No pressure. 760 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,880 No pressure. 761 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:26,880 At least give me a week of sitting. 762 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:27,880 Wait until you post. 763 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:34,880 No, I was going to say, we'll give some time because we don't want a velvet nightmare moment. 764 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:35,880 Oh no. 765 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,880 We're not talking about that. 766 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:38,880 No. 767 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:45,440 So there needs to be time between the win and the reminder. 768 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:46,440 Yes. 769 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,440 Okay. 770 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,440 We'll give you lots of applause. 771 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:49,440 Sound effects. 772 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,440 You need time to appreciate. 773 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:56,880 If you like start now, you could have a sweet pair of Reinbeck socks. 774 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:57,880 That's true. 775 00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,880 I could a sweet pair. 776 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:00,880 Oh, Reinbeck. 777 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:08,160 I'm so not prepared at all for that. 778 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,960 You know what? 779 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:10,960 That's okay. 780 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:11,960 Yeah. 781 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:12,960 It's not necessary. 782 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,120 I am not making a sweater. 783 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,760 I'm knitting the sweater I finished a year and a half ago that I didn't block until like 784 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:18,760 five months ago. 785 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:19,760 That's going to look really pretty though. 786 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:20,760 That's going to be my Reinbeck sweater. 787 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,160 I'm not knitting one for this year because it's just not happening. 788 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,120 Well yeah man, this may or may not be done right now. 789 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,000 No it's not because Reinbeck is not in 12,000 years. 790 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,000 Dark academia. 791 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,000 Yeah. 792 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,680 Yeah, I know, but I'm also a time traveler sometimes. 793 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:39,240 I will consider blocking the Celtic Myth shawl. 794 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:40,920 Oh my God. 795 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:41,920 Don't get crazy now. 796 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:42,920 I know. 797 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,920 Don't get crazy now. 798 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,480 I wish I had a sound pick that was like, wow. 799 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:51,520 We need one of those like from the like 1986, I'm sorry. 800 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,520 It's like, oh yeah. 801 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:54,520 Yeah. 802 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,760 That's the one we need. 803 00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,960 Or we could just have you do it because that was pretty good. 804 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,720 Oh God. 805 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,040 It's all going to be okay. 806 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,040 Yep. 807 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:12,500 Wherever y'all are at this year, I think we can all collectively say July has been a roller 808 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:14,600 coaster in so many ways. 809 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:15,600 Yeah. 810 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,400 And we got, we got five months left. 811 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,120 We got five months left in 2024. 812 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,600 It's going to be, it's going to be good. 813 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,600 It's going to be good. 814 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,720 However, however it turns out. 815 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:28,200 We're going to focus on the positive things no matter how small they are. 816 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,200 Yep. 817 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,480 And it doesn't have to be a screaming win, you know? 818 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,480 No. 819 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,680 It can just be what it is and we're all going to be good. 820 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,160 It could be, I touched my own today. 821 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,160 Good job. 822 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,160 Good job, Dra. 823 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:43,160 Congratulations. 824 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,920 Oh God. 825 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,080 That's about all the time we have for this week. 826 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:53,160 For additional content and opportunities to connect with the cast, be sure to check out 827 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:59,420 our website at PardonMyStache.com and be sure to tune in next time for more fun, friends 828 00:42:59,420 --> 00:43:16,280 and fiber at Pardon My Stache.