WEBVTT 00:00:01.520 --> 00:00:04.700 Now, welcome to another inspiring edition of 00:00:04.700 --> 00:00:10.839 Sound Insight with Dr. Tom Curran. Hey, welcome 00:00:10.839 --> 00:00:13.320 to the program. This is Dr. Tom Curran, and this 00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:17.339 is your Catholic Coaching Hour. Once a week, 00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:19.879 I'm taking time to share with you insights drawn 00:00:19.879 --> 00:00:25.949 from my, well, 25 plus years, almost... 30 years 00:00:25.949 --> 00:00:30.449 where I have functioned as a coach in Catholic 00:00:30.449 --> 00:00:34.469 settings, and often for Catholics in professional 00:00:34.469 --> 00:00:37.310 settings that are not faith -based as they do 00:00:37.310 --> 00:00:40.429 their work in corporate America, as well as serving 00:00:40.429 --> 00:00:44.229 business owners, what are called C -suite executives, 00:00:44.350 --> 00:00:47.829 so CEOs, CFOs, or other high -level executives 00:00:47.829 --> 00:00:51.770 in companies that didn't directly involve faith 00:00:51.770 --> 00:00:55.899 at all. However, What I want to hand on to you 00:00:55.899 --> 00:00:59.359 are insights that have led to transformation 00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.179 for these clients. Transformation in their own 00:01:03.179 --> 00:01:06.099 personal lives and in their professional lives. 00:01:06.459 --> 00:01:08.859 I've had the wonderful gift of being able to 00:01:08.859 --> 00:01:13.560 engage in these coaching conversations with many 00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:17.629 Catholics through the decades. talking to men 00:01:17.629 --> 00:01:20.590 about challenges they have as a husband, as a 00:01:20.590 --> 00:01:23.849 father, or striving to lead and provide and protect 00:01:23.849 --> 00:01:26.390 their families. I've also had a wonderful chance 00:01:26.390 --> 00:01:28.930 to talk to many couples, along with Carrie, or 00:01:28.930 --> 00:01:31.310 even just apart from Carrie, helping them to 00:01:31.310 --> 00:01:35.049 discern the best path forward for their families. 00:01:35.090 --> 00:01:38.459 This happened quite a bit around... the time 00:01:38.459 --> 00:01:41.439 of COVID, where families were discerning, what 00:01:41.439 --> 00:01:44.159 do I need to do right now for the sake of my 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:47.859 family? And in many instances that involved uprooting 00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:50.500 and making a move. And what they were blessed 00:01:50.500 --> 00:01:53.719 by was the accompaniment, my walking with them 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:55.879 every step of the way. Today, we're going to 00:01:55.879 --> 00:01:58.859 take some steps and explore how to get started, 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:01.560 how I got started in coaching, but how you get 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:04.079 started and benefit from it as well. That's what 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:09.620 we're going to dive into today. In the name of 00:02:09.620 --> 00:02:11.460 the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:13.560 Heavenly Father, in Jesus' name, we thank you 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:16.560 and praise you for the gift of our lives. And 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:18.580 Lord, that you have us on this journey where 00:02:18.580 --> 00:02:22.020 you call us home to heaven, and yet you call 00:02:22.020 --> 00:02:24.919 us to be salt, light, and leaven in this world. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:28.719 Lord, we don't always know what to do. We don't 00:02:28.719 --> 00:02:31.639 always know how to move forward. And so, Lord, 00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:34.159 I thank you that your Holy Spirit is at work 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:36.840 in our lives. And I thank you, Lord, for giving 00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:39.659 us gifts and graces to help each other, to support 00:02:39.659 --> 00:02:42.340 each other, to encourage each other, and to hold 00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:46.139 each other accountable on that journey. Lord, 00:02:46.180 --> 00:02:48.300 I ask that you would use this program to be a 00:02:48.300 --> 00:02:50.840 blessing to those who are listening today, that 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:55.319 they would find graces, insights, help they need 00:02:55.319 --> 00:02:58.819 to experience the transformation that you will 00:02:58.819 --> 00:03:02.259 for us. And we make this prayer, Jesus, in your 00:03:02.259 --> 00:03:05.219 holy name. Amen. In the name of the Father and 00:03:05.219 --> 00:03:08.699 the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Just a story 00:03:08.699 --> 00:03:11.949 to get started. I remember talking with a client 00:03:11.949 --> 00:03:15.090 of mine, and this was in a very large, prominent 00:03:15.090 --> 00:03:19.229 corporation, and he had a role that was very 00:03:19.229 --> 00:03:25.750 impressive. He oversaw about, well, 1 ,500 to 00:03:25.750 --> 00:03:31.129 2 ,000 executives and high -level leaders, and 00:03:31.129 --> 00:03:33.650 then thousands of other employees under that. 00:03:34.169 --> 00:03:39.050 And so he had a very large remit or area of responsibility. 00:03:40.110 --> 00:03:42.669 And this was something that was a sign of, he 00:03:42.669 --> 00:03:44.750 didn't stumble into that position. It was a sign 00:03:44.750 --> 00:03:48.969 of the growth that he was able to have in this 00:03:48.969 --> 00:03:52.169 company, shifting from position to position as 00:03:52.169 --> 00:03:54.849 he was succeeding and being elevated because 00:03:54.849 --> 00:03:58.310 of his success. And now here he was in this circumstance 00:03:58.310 --> 00:04:03.789 where he was very admired for holding a position 00:04:03.789 --> 00:04:09.560 that was incredibly important. overseeing billions 00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:12.379 of dollars annually in terms of the budget that 00:04:12.379 --> 00:04:16.660 he was responsible for. And yet in the confidential 00:04:16.660 --> 00:04:22.319 setting of a coaching conversation, my goal was 00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:25.680 to provide him some trusted guidance. And it 00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:28.339 was a place where he could open himself to be 00:04:28.339 --> 00:04:32.459 able to share about what he was facing. And I'm 00:04:32.459 --> 00:04:35.740 never going to be sharing details with you about 00:04:35.740 --> 00:04:38.800 elements that would be considered confidential. 00:04:39.540 --> 00:04:42.060 I do, however, want to share with you insights 00:04:42.060 --> 00:04:46.040 that came from this conversation and were repeated 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:51.959 time and again by many business owners and by 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:56.620 high -placed executives in important roles and 00:04:56.620 --> 00:04:59.839 overseeing meaningful work, very important work. 00:05:00.910 --> 00:05:05.029 And it's a dynamic that is a bit surprising until 00:05:05.029 --> 00:05:09.170 we reflect on it. And then we realize this shows 00:05:09.170 --> 00:05:11.870 up in our Catholic faith. This shows up in our 00:05:11.870 --> 00:05:15.709 Catholic tradition of spiritual growth. What's 00:05:15.709 --> 00:05:19.730 the insight? Well, one of the things that he 00:05:19.730 --> 00:05:23.069 shared with me was that there was an unspoken 00:05:23.069 --> 00:05:27.449 dynamic in the corporation itself, that the higher 00:05:27.449 --> 00:05:31.720 you were promoted in the company, the more you 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:35.319 shared in a degree of ownership. And that happened 00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:37.160 through what were called stock options. So you 00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:40.300 received stock and stock that would invest or 00:05:40.300 --> 00:05:42.740 would become yours after certain periods of time. 00:05:43.019 --> 00:05:45.620 There would be bonuses in the forms of more stock. 00:05:45.899 --> 00:05:48.579 And again, this would be things that would increase 00:05:48.579 --> 00:05:53.600 the value, the wealth that you had. And it was 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:56.319 a sign, again, of the difference you were making. 00:05:58.269 --> 00:06:01.870 As you grew in the organization, in position, 00:06:02.069 --> 00:06:05.389 as you went up the pyramid to a higher position, 00:06:05.470 --> 00:06:08.610 up the ladder to a higher role, you became more 00:06:08.610 --> 00:06:15.149 of an owner. But the unspoken but rock -solid 00:06:15.149 --> 00:06:20.490 cultural atmosphere would be stated as follows. 00:06:21.509 --> 00:06:24.269 The higher you went and the more you became an 00:06:24.269 --> 00:06:29.149 owner, the more That you were, in fact, owned 00:06:29.149 --> 00:06:34.910 by the company. Which strikes, it's paradoxical 00:06:34.910 --> 00:06:37.389 at first. You hear that. The more I become an 00:06:37.389 --> 00:06:41.850 owner, the more I become owned. And you'd think 00:06:41.850 --> 00:06:44.750 it would be just the opposite. The person who's 00:06:44.750 --> 00:06:48.170 owned is the slave. The owner is the master, 00:06:48.290 --> 00:06:52.629 is the boss, is the one in charge. And yet, the 00:06:52.629 --> 00:06:57.060 idea was, no, no, no. The more that you went 00:06:57.060 --> 00:07:02.040 and were advanced in positional visibility and 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:06.079 in responsibility, the more that the company 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:11.779 would and could ask from you and the less that 00:07:11.779 --> 00:07:15.699 there was any wiggle room for you to not say 00:07:15.699 --> 00:07:19.459 yes. There was essentially a requirement for 00:07:19.459 --> 00:07:23.579 you to say yes in advance to whatever was asked 00:07:23.579 --> 00:07:27.540 of you. The more I became an owner, the more 00:07:27.540 --> 00:07:33.180 I became owned in the very same position. I bring 00:07:33.180 --> 00:07:35.420 that up as an opening story because that dynamic 00:07:35.420 --> 00:07:40.959 is something that I have seen play out in a number 00:07:40.959 --> 00:07:45.720 of clients over the past 25 to 30 years. And 00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:48.740 I mentioned to you that this is something that 00:07:48.740 --> 00:07:53.220 is part of our Catholic tradition. And it shows 00:07:53.220 --> 00:07:56.980 up. In one particular way, in St. John of the 00:07:56.980 --> 00:08:01.579 Cross, where he talks about attachments. And 00:08:01.579 --> 00:08:06.579 the reality of an attachment is that it is holding 00:08:06.579 --> 00:08:12.720 us back from being free to advance in what is 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:17.500 ultimately what matters. Our growth in holiness, 00:08:17.779 --> 00:08:20.500 our union with Christ, our becoming a saint. 00:08:23.299 --> 00:08:27.579 Advancing becomes tied down through attachments. 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:32.159 And there's that famous analogy that he uses 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:37.019 that if it's a thick chain or if it's a tender 00:08:37.019 --> 00:08:40.440 thread that is holding back the bird from flying 00:08:40.440 --> 00:08:45.740 freely and flying away, that bird is still attached. 00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:52.820 And that principle I see at work in this. Am 00:08:52.820 --> 00:08:55.240 I becoming more of an owner or am I becoming 00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:59.480 more owned by the work that I'm doing, by the 00:08:59.480 --> 00:09:04.019 company that I'm working for? And the answer 00:09:04.019 --> 00:09:08.679 is yes, it's definitely present. Now, why is 00:09:08.679 --> 00:09:12.460 that the case? Well, in part it's the case because 00:09:12.460 --> 00:09:15.500 the person who is taking on this responsibility 00:09:15.500 --> 00:09:19.159 feels this sense of accountability to those. 00:09:19.669 --> 00:09:22.809 for whom he is working or she is working. And 00:09:22.809 --> 00:09:25.789 at the same time, there is, let's peel this back. 00:09:25.870 --> 00:09:30.490 Let's take away the corporate covering of that 00:09:30.490 --> 00:09:33.029 kind of dynamic. It's something that I see play 00:09:33.029 --> 00:09:36.509 out in many careers where someone is saying, 00:09:36.610 --> 00:09:38.490 I'm going to strive to provide for my family. 00:09:38.889 --> 00:09:42.389 But my striving to provide for my family means 00:09:42.389 --> 00:09:45.950 that I end up making sacrifices that principally 00:09:45.950 --> 00:09:50.409 impact my family. Let me give you an example 00:09:50.409 --> 00:09:53.549 of how I saw this play out in my own life. So 00:09:53.549 --> 00:09:58.570 in the 1990s, into the early 2000s, I spent a 00:09:58.570 --> 00:10:01.690 lot of time speaking at conferences around the 00:10:01.690 --> 00:10:04.710 country. Because of the visibility I had in the 00:10:04.710 --> 00:10:08.409 early 90s with my work with Evangelization 2000, 00:10:08.590 --> 00:10:12.029 I would routinely be speaking at evangelization 00:10:12.029 --> 00:10:14.570 conferences and religious ed conferences, men's 00:10:14.570 --> 00:10:18.190 conferences, women's conferences, religious ed 00:10:18.190 --> 00:10:20.409 conferences, I've already said that, for dioceses 00:10:20.409 --> 00:10:23.950 around the country. The 1990s was really the 00:10:23.950 --> 00:10:31.330 boom time of conferences where dioceses... had 00:10:31.330 --> 00:10:34.629 so many folks in parishes and on staffs, and 00:10:34.629 --> 00:10:36.629 there was so much going on that conferences were 00:10:36.629 --> 00:10:40.090 a big thing. And so I found myself traveling 00:10:40.090 --> 00:10:42.230 quite a bit. Now, Carrie and I got married in 00:10:42.230 --> 00:10:44.789 1994, but we were not blessed with children until 00:10:44.789 --> 00:10:48.230 1999 in September when our oldest Mary Grace 00:10:48.230 --> 00:10:52.669 was born. And so before we had children, Kerry 00:10:52.669 --> 00:10:56.149 had given me that permission, that space, that 00:10:56.149 --> 00:11:00.149 freedom to go and to speak at conferences and 00:11:00.149 --> 00:11:03.809 being away by traveling. But once we had children, 00:11:04.070 --> 00:11:08.110 I found that there was this tension or this dynamic 00:11:08.110 --> 00:11:12.049 that started to emerge in me. It wasn't that 00:11:12.049 --> 00:11:16.169 Kerry would be saying no, but I began to notice 00:11:16.169 --> 00:11:21.059 that. there was a dynamic that said, I can continue 00:11:21.059 --> 00:11:26.399 to do this. I can continue to accept these invitations 00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:30.639 to speak around the country. And that sounds 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:33.639 pretty cool. I'm becoming better known and I'm 00:11:33.639 --> 00:11:35.899 making an impact and I'm speaking in front of 00:11:35.899 --> 00:11:38.580 all these groups and these 1 ,000 people here 00:11:38.580 --> 00:11:41.019 and 500 there and a few thousand there and this 00:11:41.019 --> 00:11:43.320 is national conference here and this regional. 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:49.080 Hey. That's pretty, look, honey, I'm doing important 00:11:49.080 --> 00:11:52.279 stuff. But I would be doing it on the backs of 00:11:52.279 --> 00:11:56.299 my kids, on the backs of my not being present 00:11:56.299 --> 00:11:59.580 to them. And so for a while, I had this sort 00:11:59.580 --> 00:12:03.500 of funny middle ground where I would strive to 00:12:03.500 --> 00:12:05.720 find a way to say, let me be present at your 00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:07.639 conference, but I'm going to fly in at the last 00:12:07.639 --> 00:12:10.519 minute, speak and jam in the talks as quickly 00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:12.820 as I could, and then fly out at the first possible 00:12:12.820 --> 00:12:16.669 minute. And I was really an outlier. in doing 00:12:16.669 --> 00:12:20.690 that. So many of the speakers I would encounter 00:12:20.690 --> 00:12:23.350 would get there a day before the conference. 00:12:23.470 --> 00:12:25.870 It would give them a chance to kind of adjust 00:12:25.870 --> 00:12:28.909 to the time change and just the tiredness associated 00:12:28.909 --> 00:12:31.870 with travel. They'd get a chance to visit with 00:12:31.870 --> 00:12:34.470 the local leaders and they would be present throughout 00:12:34.470 --> 00:12:36.750 the entire conference for the whole weekend, 00:12:36.870 --> 00:12:39.789 Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and they would eventually 00:12:39.789 --> 00:12:45.350 fly back Sunday night or maybe even Monday. I 00:12:45.350 --> 00:12:49.850 didn't judge that for their situation. Actually, 00:12:50.009 --> 00:12:55.210 I did. I wondered how they could be away from 00:12:55.210 --> 00:12:58.029 their families for such an extended period of 00:12:58.029 --> 00:13:00.210 time. And I'm thinking in their own minds, it 00:13:00.210 --> 00:13:01.830 was, well, again, I'm doing this for the sake 00:13:01.830 --> 00:13:04.230 of really being present to the people I'm serving. 00:13:04.909 --> 00:13:09.350 But I thought of it as, wait a minute, am I allowing 00:13:09.350 --> 00:13:15.159 myself to be owned by this? this mission, by 00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:19.259 this sense of call, and it would be building 00:13:19.259 --> 00:13:23.019 the ministry on the back of my family. And I 00:13:23.019 --> 00:13:27.779 can remember talking about this with other Catholic 00:13:27.779 --> 00:13:29.460 leaders at the time, and this would have been 00:13:29.460 --> 00:13:32.159 in the early 2000s, and I would just say, just 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:36.480 be aware that you might in fact be building your 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:40.299 ministry on the back of your family. And for 00:13:40.299 --> 00:13:42.899 the sake of saying I need to be available to 00:13:42.899 --> 00:13:45.899 serve these people at this distance, I'm making 00:13:45.899 --> 00:13:48.460 my family be the ones that suffer where I'm not 00:13:48.460 --> 00:13:50.899 around them. I'm not present to them. I'm not 00:13:50.899 --> 00:13:55.799 caring for them. And in fact, that had one of 00:13:55.799 --> 00:13:59.860 the important shifts that occurred in my life 00:13:59.860 --> 00:14:03.559 where I began to focus more on doing Catholic 00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:06.940 radio. I could do that from home. I could do 00:14:06.940 --> 00:14:10.899 that in my own locale. And I could have a big 00:14:10.899 --> 00:14:14.500 impact, but being in place. And so I began to 00:14:14.500 --> 00:14:19.080 say no, back in 2003, I began to say no to traveling, 00:14:19.179 --> 00:14:23.399 no to speaking at these different events. And 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:27.720 it was all because of my sense of call that I 00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:32.490 had to be present to my family. And in the mystery 00:14:32.490 --> 00:14:35.370 of it all, if there was some confirming event, 00:14:35.549 --> 00:14:39.529 what happened in the spring of 2003 is that we 00:14:39.529 --> 00:14:42.870 gave birth to, Carrie gave birth to a daughter 00:14:42.870 --> 00:14:45.269 of ours that had some significant health challenges. 00:14:45.549 --> 00:14:49.549 And that for me was just a confirming sign that 00:14:49.549 --> 00:14:52.429 I needed to be present to my family and not in 00:14:52.429 --> 00:14:54.889 the name of serving the Lord and the church be 00:14:54.889 --> 00:14:57.919 traveling around so much. I needed to be the 00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:01.820 owner of my mission and not be owned by it. Back 00:15:01.820 --> 00:15:15.919 in a minute. Jesus says that in his call to us 00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:18.580 to be disciples of his, to make sure that we 00:15:18.580 --> 00:15:22.360 have our priorities in order. And I'm sharing 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.049 with you some insights that I've... brought to 00:15:26.049 --> 00:15:29.889 bear in my coaching work serving Catholic executives 00:15:29.889 --> 00:15:32.289 and business owners and leadership teams in both 00:15:32.289 --> 00:15:35.169 church settings, in non -profit settings, in 00:15:35.169 --> 00:15:38.750 for -profit settings. And one of them is that 00:15:38.750 --> 00:15:42.629 very simple but fundamental insight that we ought 00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:46.250 to have for our own lives. In what ways am I 00:15:46.250 --> 00:15:48.789 taking ownership over the call that I have to 00:15:48.789 --> 00:15:50.769 live in the world and be salt, light, and leaven 00:15:50.769 --> 00:15:53.730 and lead and provide and protect my family? But 00:15:53.730 --> 00:15:57.870 in what sense am I surrendering that sense of 00:15:57.870 --> 00:16:02.429 ownership over my life. I'm giving it over to 00:16:02.429 --> 00:16:06.090 the company. And this is where the challenge 00:16:06.090 --> 00:16:10.509 becomes. This is where we can face some serious 00:16:10.509 --> 00:16:16.710 conflicts or challenging circumstances where 00:16:16.710 --> 00:16:21.549 we're called upon to discern. What is at stake? 00:16:22.990 --> 00:16:25.409 What is at stake? That's a fundamental question. 00:16:26.509 --> 00:16:28.610 And it's a question that has to do with goodness. 00:16:28.710 --> 00:16:31.190 It has to do with a value. It has to do with 00:16:31.190 --> 00:16:33.529 a good that's at stake in the moment. But I bring 00:16:33.529 --> 00:16:36.330 up that question, what is at stake? Because when 00:16:36.330 --> 00:16:39.490 I would meet with my clients, my coaching clients, 00:16:39.669 --> 00:16:42.210 it would be in one -on -one settings. And very 00:16:42.210 --> 00:16:45.029 often, the first thing I would end up writing 00:16:45.029 --> 00:16:48.129 on the whiteboard, and I always loved my whiteboards. 00:16:48.169 --> 00:16:50.519 In fact, I'm sitting here in my... humble studio 00:16:50.519 --> 00:16:53.759 looking at one, two, three, four whiteboards 00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:56.259 that are just literally across the room from 00:16:56.259 --> 00:16:59.080 me, propped up so I can look at all four of them 00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:02.500 at once. And it's mapping out the things that 00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:05.059 I'm working on right now. And then I have my 00:17:05.059 --> 00:17:07.859 fifth whiteboard, which is also in front of me 00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:09.480 that deals with my day -to -day things. What 00:17:09.480 --> 00:17:12.099 am I doing today? I love to have that sense of 00:17:12.099 --> 00:17:14.440 the whole. And that's why I loved a whiteboard. 00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:17.539 It gave me a sense of the whole. That's something 00:17:17.539 --> 00:17:20.200 to think about for you as you're trying to get 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:23.519 clear about something, using a computer and typing 00:17:23.519 --> 00:17:26.940 it on a list or a things to do list, or having 00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:29.819 an important conversation with your spouse or 00:17:29.819 --> 00:17:34.000 with your kids. A whiteboard can be so very helpful. 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.200 because it can allow you to I'm using that phrase 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:40.579 map out it can allow you to capture some of the 00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:43.180 key thoughts in the flow of the conversation 00:17:43.180 --> 00:17:46.500 which can easily be forgotten if you're just 00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:48.920 speaking words to each other but when you can 00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:51.900 see it in front of you pictured. You can say, 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:53.680 okay, here's where we started. Now we're talking 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:55.140 about this and this. And then all of a sudden 00:17:55.140 --> 00:17:57.660 someone can say something and it's out of place. 00:17:57.700 --> 00:18:00.440 It doesn't fit. It doesn't follow the flow of 00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:03.099 what we were doing. You can immediately point 00:18:03.099 --> 00:18:04.980 back and say, okay, now wait a minute. How does 00:18:04.980 --> 00:18:07.720 this relate to the things we've been talking 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:11.039 about so far? Did you see how I said that? And 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:14.319 so it gives me a chance to be able to put things 00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:17.619 in proper order. And having proper order is so 00:18:17.619 --> 00:18:19.519 very important. It helps to order that sense 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:21.819 of the thinking and the flow of the conversation. 00:18:22.299 --> 00:18:24.799 So what is at stake I would put on the board? 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:29.180 Because it's more than just knowing what it is 00:18:29.180 --> 00:18:32.019 we want to talk about, the what of the matter, 00:18:32.140 --> 00:18:37.200 but rather to get at the so what of the matter. 00:18:37.819 --> 00:18:41.140 The so what is the what is at stake? It's the 00:18:41.140 --> 00:18:45.309 goodness. It's the value. It's the preciousness. 00:18:46.230 --> 00:18:48.650 It's the important things that are happening 00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:50.609 right now that we ought to pay attention to. 00:18:51.789 --> 00:18:55.650 So, for instance, if you're going to apply this 00:18:55.650 --> 00:18:58.549 in your kids' lives, you could talk about, okay, 00:18:58.650 --> 00:19:00.730 what are we going to talk about? Well, let's 00:19:00.730 --> 00:19:04.490 talk about how school is going. That's the what. 00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:06.670 Well, what's at stake in talking about how school 00:19:06.670 --> 00:19:09.539 is going? what we really want to talk about are 00:19:09.539 --> 00:19:11.480 the grades. So what we really want to talk about 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:15.079 is the dynamic that's happening with you and 00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:17.000 your friends. Or what we really want to talk 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:20.140 about is what's coming up in the school, and 00:19:20.140 --> 00:19:22.359 it's the school dance. And how are you going 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:24.559 to relate to what's happening at that dance? 00:19:24.700 --> 00:19:27.440 Or what about the dynamic that's happening with 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:32.700 dating or use of smartphones or, you know, internet 00:19:32.700 --> 00:19:37.410 -based technology, right? So much of what you 00:19:37.410 --> 00:19:40.849 want to talk about is going to be related to 00:19:40.849 --> 00:19:45.690 a clear understanding of among all the things 00:19:45.690 --> 00:19:48.549 that we could discuss, what's the most important 00:19:48.549 --> 00:19:53.349 thing for us to talk about right now? And so 00:19:53.349 --> 00:19:58.089 I found that super helpful when I would be working 00:19:58.089 --> 00:19:59.849 with these clients and they would come in and 00:19:59.849 --> 00:20:01.930 say, what are we going to talk about today? I 00:20:01.930 --> 00:20:05.849 say, well, let's just answer this one question. 00:20:05.930 --> 00:20:07.369 Among all the things that we could talk about, 00:20:07.490 --> 00:20:10.029 what is the most at stake? What's the most pressing 00:20:10.029 --> 00:20:13.109 matter? What's the most important matter? What 00:20:13.109 --> 00:20:15.869 is it that has you stirred up right now? What 00:20:15.869 --> 00:20:17.670 are you trying to get ready for that's coming 00:20:17.670 --> 00:20:23.230 up later today or tomorrow or next week? Let's 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:26.269 try to discern, let's try to discover among all 00:20:26.269 --> 00:20:28.430 the things that we could talk about, what's the 00:20:28.430 --> 00:20:30.150 most important thing to talk about right now? 00:20:30.890 --> 00:20:34.359 Now, in these settings, in the settings of a 00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.980 coaching engagement, I would begin with an assessment. 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:41.140 I would begin with a process where I would come 00:20:41.140 --> 00:20:45.539 to some insight into this particular client or 00:20:45.539 --> 00:20:47.839 this leadership team or what's going on in the 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:51.240 company. And I would do that through an assessment 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:53.299 process where I would go around and I would interview 00:20:53.299 --> 00:20:56.779 people face -to -face. I would have up my laptop 00:20:56.779 --> 00:20:59.740 and I would ask them some fundamental questions 00:20:59.740 --> 00:21:03.309 and I would take notes. And it would be a dialogue 00:21:03.309 --> 00:21:05.250 that I would have, and I would capture the notes 00:21:05.250 --> 00:21:10.039 on the laptop. And then I would... Gather together 00:21:10.039 --> 00:21:12.259 all of these conversations. These conversations 00:21:12.259 --> 00:21:15.559 would happen in what was called a 360 mode. And 00:21:15.559 --> 00:21:18.220 so I would talk with people that were all around 00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:21.660 this executive. So this executive supervisor, 00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:24.799 peers. So that's, you know, let's call you above 00:21:24.799 --> 00:21:27.180 and then across. And then the people that are 00:21:27.180 --> 00:21:29.720 reporting to that supervisor. And then maybe 00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:32.960 some key stakeholders or customers inside the 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.160 company and outside the company. And by talking 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:39.150 to all of those people, we would get a 300. 360 00:21:39.150 --> 00:21:44.769 degree, a full circle of input into this particular 00:21:44.769 --> 00:21:47.750 executive. What are their best gifts? What's 00:21:47.750 --> 00:21:50.250 their approach to leadership? Among all the things 00:21:50.250 --> 00:21:53.470 that they're doing right now, where is it that 00:21:53.470 --> 00:21:57.190 they're doing well? Among all the things that 00:21:57.190 --> 00:21:58.609 they're doing, where could they improve, right? 00:21:58.730 --> 00:22:00.529 What else do you think would be important to 00:22:00.529 --> 00:22:03.450 share with this person that hasn't been discussed 00:22:03.450 --> 00:22:07.369 so far? And so there was a method to the order 00:22:07.369 --> 00:22:10.609 of the questions that I asked and how I would 00:22:10.609 --> 00:22:13.410 have a dialogue with them. And it was meant to 00:22:13.410 --> 00:22:16.750 give them that sense of comfort and confidence 00:22:16.750 --> 00:22:19.150 that they could share openly and honestly with 00:22:19.150 --> 00:22:21.990 me in this setting. And what would be shared 00:22:21.990 --> 00:22:24.349 would be done in a relatively confidential way. 00:22:24.450 --> 00:22:27.609 The client who received it wouldn't know who 00:22:27.609 --> 00:22:29.910 shared it, even though what they shared would 00:22:29.910 --> 00:22:32.509 become known in the midst of everything else 00:22:32.509 --> 00:22:35.589 that was shared. So that was a process I used 00:22:35.589 --> 00:22:39.009 to help gain insight into this person's life. 00:22:39.109 --> 00:22:40.970 Now, you're not going to often have that kind 00:22:40.970 --> 00:22:44.930 of situation for yourselves. However, it can 00:22:44.930 --> 00:22:49.259 become very helpful for you to... to have some 00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:53.700 pathways to get insight into your circumstance 00:22:53.700 --> 00:22:57.220 and situation. One of the things that Kerry and 00:22:57.220 --> 00:23:01.980 I use are personality assessments. One of them 00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:05.019 that we constantly go back to, and we've gone 00:23:05.019 --> 00:23:09.200 back to it now for 25 years anyways, is the Myers 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:13.319 -Briggs type indicator. It's called the MBTI. 00:23:13.869 --> 00:23:19.390 And it has to do with four sets of comparable 00:23:19.390 --> 00:23:25.009 or contrasting attributes. So are you an introvert 00:23:25.009 --> 00:23:27.869 or an extrovert? Are you intuitive or are you 00:23:27.869 --> 00:23:30.569 sensate? Are you a thinker or a feeler? Are you 00:23:30.569 --> 00:23:34.890 a perceiver or a judger? And so you basically 00:23:34.890 --> 00:23:38.769 take an assessment, you know, depending, it could 00:23:38.769 --> 00:23:41.930 be 15 minutes, 20 minutes long. And then based 00:23:41.930 --> 00:23:45.410 on the answers, it gives rise to a particular 00:23:45.410 --> 00:23:52.430 type. And so I'm an ENFJ. So as an ENFJ, I'm 00:23:52.430 --> 00:23:55.109 someone who has certain tendencies. I am someone 00:23:55.109 --> 00:23:57.309 who enjoys to speak and be in front of people. 00:23:57.369 --> 00:23:58.930 And I love to influence people and I've liked 00:23:58.930 --> 00:24:02.289 to lead and I'm very relational, right? And Carrie, 00:24:02.450 --> 00:24:08.230 she's an ENTP. And so she's someone that compliments 00:24:08.230 --> 00:24:12.900 me in some ways. And so as we've done this, And 00:24:12.900 --> 00:24:16.579 we understand ourselves. We can also understand 00:24:16.579 --> 00:24:19.640 each other. And the same is true for our kids. 00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:24.519 In the last two days, Carrie has gone back to 00:24:24.519 --> 00:24:30.099 the book that we use to try to understand one 00:24:30.099 --> 00:24:32.700 of our kids' personalities and a different kid's 00:24:32.700 --> 00:24:35.960 personality and how that might impact how we 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:40.160 influence them. Why? Because of what is at stake. 00:24:41.049 --> 00:24:42.970 Okay, so there's something at stake right now 00:24:42.970 --> 00:24:45.630 for one of our kids at college in terms of, hey, 00:24:45.690 --> 00:24:47.430 they're trying to figure out their budget and 00:24:47.430 --> 00:24:51.109 their finances and here's their financial situation 00:24:51.109 --> 00:24:56.670 and they're asking us, hey, can I have, I know 00:24:56.670 --> 00:24:58.769 I owe you this amount of money, but can I have 00:24:58.769 --> 00:25:00.670 this amount of money for the rest of the semester 00:25:00.670 --> 00:25:05.990 for my expenses? And so Carrie was looking and 00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:07.289 she was thinking, okay, no, wait a minute, how 00:25:07.289 --> 00:25:10.170 is he asking us for this? And so she went back 00:25:10.170 --> 00:25:12.390 to the personality and she read it out loud. 00:25:12.710 --> 00:25:17.049 And it was really fascinating. And so it was 00:25:17.049 --> 00:25:21.269 something that it was like, oh, no wonder he's 00:25:21.269 --> 00:25:25.710 asking for money like that. It's because of his 00:25:25.710 --> 00:25:29.089 personality. It's not, oh, this is a sign that 00:25:29.089 --> 00:25:33.549 he's a fallen human being. Or, wow, this is an 00:25:33.549 --> 00:25:36.289 incredibly virtuous way for him to ask for money. 00:25:36.410 --> 00:25:38.589 No, this is his personality. It's how God made 00:25:38.589 --> 00:25:42.200 him. And the same was true with regards to one 00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:45.960 of our other kids and how she was relating to 00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:50.880 a situation where she was advocating to be able 00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:52.799 to use her spring break to go visit a friend. 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:55.920 And it was a matter of us saying, okay, how do 00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:59.359 we navigate this circumstance with her? Why is 00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:02.839 it important to her? How do we bring this out 00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:06.839 into the open? So you can see how we are moving 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:10.589 from this dialogue that she and I, Carrie and 00:26:10.589 --> 00:26:13.690 I are having to try to gain insight that can 00:26:13.690 --> 00:26:17.089 apply to what's at stake right now in our kids' 00:26:17.190 --> 00:26:21.289 lives. And then based on that, we take an action. 00:26:22.170 --> 00:26:25.569 If you listened last week to the very first coaching 00:26:25.569 --> 00:26:28.089 hour I shared with you, the model of coaching 00:26:28.089 --> 00:26:31.150 that I use is drawn from the relationship of 00:26:31.150 --> 00:26:33.809 a spiritual director to a spiritual directee. 00:26:34.539 --> 00:26:36.759 where there's a sense of dialogue leading to 00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:39.279 insight. And then on the basis of that, you take 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:41.720 an action. And as you do that, you're walking 00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:45.460 together. And as a spiritual director and a spiritual 00:26:45.460 --> 00:26:48.420 directee are walking together, who are they listening 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:50.619 for? Are they listening for their own voices? 00:26:51.019 --> 00:26:53.220 No, not first of all. They're listening for the 00:26:53.220 --> 00:26:56.440 voice that is at work in them. Maybe it's in 00:26:56.440 --> 00:26:58.579 the director. Maybe it's in the directee. Maybe 00:26:58.579 --> 00:27:00.680 it's beyond them. It's the voice of the Holy 00:27:00.680 --> 00:27:04.059 Spirit. So the Holy Spirit is the director. The 00:27:04.059 --> 00:27:05.839 Holy Spirit is beyond them, but the Holy Spirit 00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:11.099 is also in each of them and at work between them. 00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:15.319 And so it becomes the role of the director to 00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:18.759 be able to sense and discern and to help prompt 00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:23.700 a healthy sense of attentiveness in the directee. 00:27:24.519 --> 00:27:27.670 Let's have a dialogue. And in that dialogue, 00:27:27.769 --> 00:27:30.210 let's see if we can gain an insight. Let's see 00:27:30.210 --> 00:27:33.509 if we can see into the dynamic, the situation, 00:27:33.710 --> 00:27:37.670 the reality that you're talking about right now. 00:27:37.750 --> 00:27:41.170 And then based on that, let's see if we can come 00:27:41.170 --> 00:27:43.769 up with the right next step for you to take. 00:27:44.549 --> 00:27:49.869 So I bring that back to you to say this approach 00:27:49.869 --> 00:27:52.869 to having conversations with your spouse, with 00:27:52.869 --> 00:27:57.390 your kids, is a coaching one. And when it's done 00:27:57.390 --> 00:28:01.349 well, it can lead to a powerful advancing and 00:28:01.349 --> 00:28:10.329 yes, even transformation. It's a fascinating 00:28:10.329 --> 00:28:14.569 thing that I functioned as a corporate coach, 00:28:14.789 --> 00:28:17.609 a business coach, an executive coach serving. 00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:21.339 These sometimes extremely large corporations, 00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:23.619 sometimes it was small businesses, sometimes 00:28:23.619 --> 00:28:26.259 just helping individual, let's call them solo 00:28:26.259 --> 00:28:29.779 professionals, individuals attempting to live 00:28:29.779 --> 00:28:33.279 their lives in their own careers and to do well. 00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:37.299 And the fascinating thing is that I would serve 00:28:37.299 --> 00:28:43.339 people across a variety of business types. biopharmaceutical, 00:28:43.619 --> 00:28:47.339 specialty insurance, aerospace engineering, cellular 00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:54.000 telephone service, mortgage companies, things 00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:55.859 like, you know, all these different types of 00:28:55.859 --> 00:29:00.019 companies that I had no domain expertise. And 00:29:00.019 --> 00:29:02.220 so, in fact, I've never taken a class in business. 00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:06.460 But what I did have was expertise in communication 00:29:06.460 --> 00:29:12.099 among human beings, dialogue. And in fact, it's 00:29:12.099 --> 00:29:16.180 one of the least appreciated but most desperately 00:29:16.180 --> 00:29:20.940 needed areas to help an individual, a team, or 00:29:20.940 --> 00:29:23.900 an organization to be able to grow, and that 00:29:23.900 --> 00:29:28.460 is flourishing relationships among those who 00:29:28.460 --> 00:29:31.019 are in the company. And healthy relationships, 00:29:31.460 --> 00:29:34.720 healthy dialogical interactions, the ability 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:37.900 to have true, authentic dialogue together among 00:29:37.900 --> 00:29:42.390 the leaders. In fact, that was where I ended 00:29:42.390 --> 00:29:45.950 up specializing was with the top leadership teams 00:29:45.950 --> 00:29:49.380 where they struggled the most. was in the relationships 00:29:49.380 --> 00:29:52.140 that these very successful leaders had in their 00:29:52.140 --> 00:29:54.539 own domain, in their own what's called a silo 00:29:54.539 --> 00:29:57.319 or their own aspect of the company. Maybe it's 00:29:57.319 --> 00:29:58.960 in the research. Maybe it's in manufacturing. 00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:01.059 Maybe it's in business development. Maybe it's 00:30:01.059 --> 00:30:04.740 in sales and marketing. Maybe it's in operations. 00:30:05.059 --> 00:30:07.099 Maybe it's in HR. All these different areas of 00:30:07.099 --> 00:30:11.279 the company. They would be sitting on top of 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:13.619 their own area of leadership, and they were really 00:30:13.619 --> 00:30:16.119 good at that, driving execution and making sure 00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:19.220 they could confidently lead those under them 00:30:19.220 --> 00:30:21.700 and help them to figure out what they were doing 00:30:21.700 --> 00:30:24.400 and keep them on track. Well, what they were 00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:28.640 not very good at was often working together with 00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:31.200 the other leaders of the other parts of the organization. 00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:34.099 That's where they struggled. And there was a 00:30:34.099 --> 00:30:36.180 reason why the very things that made them successful 00:30:36.180 --> 00:30:39.799 in leading their own silo in their own area of 00:30:39.799 --> 00:30:42.660 the company made them really not very good at 00:30:42.660 --> 00:30:45.839 leading alongside other leaders in other parts 00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:49.079 of the company. The very same gifts that were 00:30:49.079 --> 00:30:53.480 an asset in one realm became a bit of a liability, 00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:57.240 or it could be potentially a liability when they 00:30:57.240 --> 00:30:59.539 were put together on the top leadership team 00:30:59.539 --> 00:31:01.279 with a bunch of other leaders that were like 00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.880 them. You could call it, oh, a bunch of alpha 00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:08.319 males or alphas, male or female, were in the 00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:10.920 room together. And so they had a harder time 00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:15.900 being open and trusting and available to have 00:31:15.900 --> 00:31:20.079 that authentic type of interaction, that authentic 00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:23.500 type of giving and receiving and being able to 00:31:23.500 --> 00:31:26.480 affirm and encourage and celebrate and have those 00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:30.039 honest conversations for the sake of the advancement 00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:34.750 of the entire company. And so I would help these 00:31:34.750 --> 00:31:36.750 top leadership teams come to insight through 00:31:36.750 --> 00:31:39.250 these assessments. Oh, here are the five things 00:31:39.250 --> 00:31:41.769 you need to work on. Well, you need to work on 00:31:41.769 --> 00:31:43.509 how to support each other, how to encourage each 00:31:43.509 --> 00:31:45.109 other, how to hold each other accountable. You 00:31:45.109 --> 00:31:47.109 need to work on strategic thinking. You need 00:31:47.109 --> 00:31:49.730 to work on blah, blah, blah. And then I would 00:31:49.730 --> 00:31:53.910 design a set of sessions that I would implement 00:31:53.910 --> 00:31:56.710 to help them overcome all at the human level. 00:31:57.549 --> 00:32:01.339 It was at the human level. As they became better 00:32:01.339 --> 00:32:04.880 human beings, as they were able to adapt and 00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:09.359 adjust to these other human traits and qualities, 00:32:09.539 --> 00:32:12.880 well, guess what? The company succeeded. It didn't 00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:16.720 gain new technological insight. It didn't identify 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:21.039 a new system or process to put in place. It was 00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:23.640 about them becoming better human beings, better 00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:27.559 at communicating. And I would create the vehicle 00:32:27.559 --> 00:32:29.839 and the vessel for them to be able to have these 00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:34.240 authentic conversations. And I share that with 00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:38.140 you because this is true for families as well. 00:32:38.900 --> 00:32:41.599 This is how we are going to grow and flourish 00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:45.440 as families. There's a fundamental truth I would 00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.200 bring out to these corporate settings. And believe 00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:53.000 it or not, it's from the depths of authentic 00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:56.599 and profound Catholic anthropology. And it was 00:32:56.599 --> 00:33:02.000 this. What is radiant is magnetic. What is radiant 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:06.619 is magnetic. And you hear that and you're thinking, 00:33:06.779 --> 00:33:10.700 that's a business principle? Yes. This is a principle 00:33:10.700 --> 00:33:15.079 for flourishing as an individual and as a member 00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:18.970 of a team. What is radiant is magnetic. Last 00:33:18.970 --> 00:33:21.150 week I talked about how John Paul II's gift message 00:33:21.150 --> 00:33:26.930 has a very powerful place to be heard and is 00:33:26.930 --> 00:33:29.990 amazingly well received in corporate settings. 00:33:30.869 --> 00:33:35.549 I've shared this any number of times in, again, 00:33:35.589 --> 00:33:39.049 very secular companies, but it's never been poorly 00:33:39.049 --> 00:33:41.809 received. It's always been received so very well 00:33:41.809 --> 00:33:44.009 because it's an authentic truth about being a 00:33:44.009 --> 00:33:48.210 human being. And that gift message says this, 00:33:48.210 --> 00:33:50.690 that, The truth about who you are is that you 00:33:50.690 --> 00:33:53.890 are a masterpiece. You really are a masterpiece. 00:33:54.829 --> 00:33:59.329 And you were meant to shine. And if you are able 00:33:59.329 --> 00:34:03.509 to shine from a place of the depths of the truth 00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:06.950 about who you are, the depths of your authentic 00:34:06.950 --> 00:34:09.130 identity, because what's your authentic identity? 00:34:09.469 --> 00:34:11.230 You're made in the image and likeness of God. 00:34:11.409 --> 00:34:13.590 And I wouldn't say it like that in a corporate 00:34:13.590 --> 00:34:15.710 setting. But I would say this, that there's a 00:34:15.710 --> 00:34:17.869 uniqueness about you, and that is there's only 00:34:17.869 --> 00:34:20.590 one of you in all of human history that says, 00:34:20.590 --> 00:34:26.409 I, Tom, with Tom's I. That personhood is unique, 00:34:26.650 --> 00:34:30.329 and that uniqueness is also precious, because 00:34:30.329 --> 00:34:34.030 it brings out into the open, it is a display 00:34:34.030 --> 00:34:38.289 of the beauty and truth and goodness of being 00:34:38.289 --> 00:34:40.349 a human being. See, I don't even have to say 00:34:40.349 --> 00:34:42.809 God and faith and child of God and all of that. 00:34:43.659 --> 00:34:45.639 The truth and goodness and beauty of just being 00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:48.500 a human being, there's something fundamentally 00:34:48.500 --> 00:34:51.119 unique and precious about that. And when you 00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:56.239 can have that come out into the open, it is radiant. 00:34:57.980 --> 00:35:03.820 Okay, I just spoke about right there a transcendental 00:35:03.820 --> 00:35:07.579 attribute of being. The transcendental attributes 00:35:07.579 --> 00:35:13.710 of being are every individual thing is one. And 00:35:13.710 --> 00:35:16.269 then it's true and good and beautiful, right? 00:35:16.389 --> 00:35:18.530 So the truth about something is the essence of 00:35:18.530 --> 00:35:21.050 it. And when the essence of something, when the 00:35:21.050 --> 00:35:23.610 identity, when the deepest depths of someone 00:35:23.610 --> 00:35:30.170 can come out into the open, you shine, you radiate. 00:35:31.090 --> 00:35:36.349 And the authentic, beautiful truth of a human 00:35:36.349 --> 00:35:40.789 being that shines forth in a setting is magnetic. 00:35:41.670 --> 00:35:45.150 There's something that will draw others to that 00:35:45.150 --> 00:35:50.909 person. We see this at a very surface level. 00:35:51.630 --> 00:35:55.329 To use the easiest example, a very beautiful 00:35:55.329 --> 00:35:58.829 woman, a very beautiful woman, whether it's her 00:35:58.829 --> 00:36:02.110 face or her whole makeup, when she walks into 00:36:02.110 --> 00:36:03.869 a room, guys are going to turn and they're going 00:36:03.869 --> 00:36:06.409 to notice. What are they noticing? They're noticing 00:36:06.409 --> 00:36:12.880 beauty that is marked by certain aspects or attributes. 00:36:13.539 --> 00:36:16.880 There's a sense of harmony. There's a sense of 00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:22.820 proportion. There's a sense of a proper weightiness, 00:36:23.059 --> 00:36:26.900 a proper weighting of the elements. And so that 00:36:26.900 --> 00:36:30.340 harmony of the elements, there's that sense of 00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:32.900 the harmony and the proportion and the proper 00:36:32.900 --> 00:36:35.539 weighting of things that when it shines forth, 00:36:35.659 --> 00:36:40.519 it magnetically draws people. You could even 00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:42.739 say that at the level of a personality, someone 00:36:42.739 --> 00:36:45.239 that you call that is charismatic. I don't mean 00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:47.679 that in the gifts of the spirit. I mean, oh, 00:36:47.739 --> 00:36:50.820 that person has a charisma about them. They're 00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:53.000 very charismatic. And what you're saying is when 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:55.000 they walk into the room, they're just giving 00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:57.880 off something that just draws people's attention 00:36:57.880 --> 00:37:00.820 to them. And so you could say that at the level 00:37:00.820 --> 00:37:04.599 of their personality. In fact, what's so interesting 00:37:04.599 --> 00:37:09.190 is that the deeper you go, the more that the 00:37:09.190 --> 00:37:12.590 physical level of beauty gets put into proper 00:37:12.590 --> 00:37:18.269 order. How many times have you seen someone and, 00:37:18.349 --> 00:37:21.650 oh, wow, like I kind of joke about this and I 00:37:21.650 --> 00:37:25.230 tell my kids this. I said, look, you know, I 00:37:25.230 --> 00:37:28.250 can remember dating women and it wouldn't last 00:37:28.250 --> 00:37:31.199 long. One or two dates is all it took. And then 00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:33.780 I would realize that that's not the one I'm called 00:37:33.780 --> 00:37:37.039 to marry. And so this is I'm in my mid to late 00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:41.159 20s. And so I could see someone and boy, they're 00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:44.699 very beautiful. OK, now let me go out on a date 00:37:44.699 --> 00:37:48.420 with them. And it takes me a few minutes and 00:37:48.420 --> 00:37:51.639 all of a sudden I realize, OK, yeah, at the surface 00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:54.829 level, this person is very attractive, but. you 00:37:54.829 --> 00:37:57.289 go to the depth level. You get to that level 00:37:57.289 --> 00:38:00.050 of the person. The personality starts showing 00:38:00.050 --> 00:38:04.269 up. And that personality starts to have an effect 00:38:04.269 --> 00:38:09.590 on their outward surface. And so if internally 00:38:09.590 --> 00:38:12.369 there's disorder, there's a lack of harmony, 00:38:12.570 --> 00:38:15.050 there's a lack of proper ordering, what's showing 00:38:15.050 --> 00:38:18.670 up are aspects of their person that are selfish 00:38:18.670 --> 00:38:23.030 or self -centered or just broken. All of a sudden, 00:38:23.050 --> 00:38:25.949 the external beauty, that external level, it 00:38:25.949 --> 00:38:29.289 hasn't changed in terms of, oh, they're no longer 00:38:29.289 --> 00:38:31.090 in proper order. But wait a minute. No, there's 00:38:31.090 --> 00:38:34.869 levels to this radiance. And that radiance just 00:38:34.869 --> 00:38:38.090 stops at the physical level. Okay, but wait a 00:38:38.090 --> 00:38:40.190 minute. There's something even deeper. So at 00:38:40.190 --> 00:38:41.929 the level of the personality, you can get down 00:38:41.929 --> 00:38:45.949 to the core of their being, to their heart. And 00:38:45.949 --> 00:38:50.489 when the heart of the person is in union with 00:38:50.489 --> 00:38:54.659 the Lord, when the heart of who they are, has 00:38:54.659 --> 00:38:59.199 been purified and is deepening in their own sense 00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:04.059 of holiness and their wondrous union with the 00:39:04.059 --> 00:39:09.239 living God, with the Lord Jesus, then that interior, 00:39:09.420 --> 00:39:13.239 intimate, profound union with Jesus is going 00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:17.400 to begin to manifest itself in their personality, 00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:21.280 through their personality, and onto their... 00:39:21.789 --> 00:39:25.409 even their physical being, how they show up and 00:39:25.409 --> 00:39:30.889 how they manifest in the world. We all know the 00:39:30.889 --> 00:39:35.329 best example of this in the last 40 years is 00:39:35.329 --> 00:39:41.170 Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta. So you see pictures 00:39:41.170 --> 00:39:44.489 of Mother Teresa and you just say, oh, she's 00:39:44.489 --> 00:39:49.230 so beautiful. Well, you only really, really, 00:39:49.230 --> 00:39:54.039 really say she's beautiful. Because the way that 00:39:54.039 --> 00:39:57.000 her intimate, profound union with Jesus in the 00:39:57.000 --> 00:40:00.500 core of her being manifests itself in her personality. 00:40:00.519 --> 00:40:04.400 And that personality is brightly shining on her 00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:10.329 face. At just a pure, raw... physical level, 00:40:10.369 --> 00:40:12.570 if you knew nothing about who she was, you knew 00:40:12.570 --> 00:40:15.050 nothing about her heart, you never heard her 00:40:15.050 --> 00:40:18.449 voice, you were never in her presence, you never 00:40:18.449 --> 00:40:21.130 heard anything about her life, you just saw the 00:40:21.130 --> 00:40:26.369 picture, you wouldn't quickly say, I'm just magnetically 00:40:26.369 --> 00:40:31.699 drawn to that woman. But Even with her, let's 00:40:31.699 --> 00:40:34.340 say, as she's getting older and older, you could 00:40:34.340 --> 00:40:36.320 say physically she's less and less attractive. 00:40:36.659 --> 00:40:40.019 No, but she radiated more and more profoundly 00:40:40.019 --> 00:40:46.099 from the core of her being, Jesus himself. What 00:40:46.099 --> 00:40:50.000 is radiant is magnetic. One of the biggest things 00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:52.960 I would work on with individuals in these settings 00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:56.400 is becoming more radiant, getting to the core 00:40:56.400 --> 00:40:58.760 of who they are. letting that shine forth in 00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:00.980 the personality that is theirs, and then letting 00:41:00.980 --> 00:41:03.500 that manifest itself in the environments where 00:41:03.500 --> 00:41:09.139 they were planted. Now this became important 00:41:09.139 --> 00:41:12.659 that what is radiant is magnetic. This became 00:41:12.659 --> 00:41:16.480 so important when it came to advancing in one's 00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:20.300 own career, becoming more impactful, more effective, 00:41:20.659 --> 00:41:24.699 more fruitful in living out their own career. 00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:28.900 And it did so in a number of settings and a number 00:41:28.900 --> 00:41:30.940 of environments. And I share this with you because 00:41:30.940 --> 00:41:35.960 it goes to the heart of the idea of, do you want 00:41:35.960 --> 00:41:38.519 to have a bigger impact in the workplace? Do 00:41:38.519 --> 00:41:41.639 you want to set yourself up for greater success 00:41:41.639 --> 00:41:46.280 in the world, in the marketplace? It's do the 00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:50.380 hard work of becoming virtuous. Do the important 00:41:50.380 --> 00:41:54.199 work of... Growing in your union with Jesus, 00:41:54.380 --> 00:41:58.239 you will become more radiant. You will become 00:41:58.239 --> 00:42:02.739 more magnetic as a result of that. It is true. 00:42:04.460 --> 00:42:08.219 It's just true. And I want to give this to you 00:42:08.219 --> 00:42:12.539 in a couple of simple principles. Working in, 00:42:12.659 --> 00:42:15.500 again, in this particular very large company, 00:42:15.699 --> 00:42:19.280 one of the things that they would look for, these 00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:23.679 highly placed executives, was, who would be part 00:42:23.679 --> 00:42:26.320 of the succession plan? Who are the high potential 00:42:26.320 --> 00:42:31.280 leaders that had the capacity to advance and 00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:34.579 grow to be able to operate at a higher level? 00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:38.860 And they were always on the lookout for these 00:42:38.860 --> 00:42:42.239 high potential leaders, and they would be watching 00:42:42.239 --> 00:42:46.360 them in various settings. And one of the principles 00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:49.900 that came out of this was every conversation 00:42:50.809 --> 00:42:56.250 is an interview. Every conversation is an interview. 00:42:56.829 --> 00:43:00.429 It's something that I would bring out to solo 00:43:00.429 --> 00:43:03.699 professionals. So whatever your business is, 00:43:03.900 --> 00:43:06.739 if you're trying to sell a particular service, 00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:09.980 maybe you're a real estate agent, maybe you're 00:43:09.980 --> 00:43:14.079 trying to originate loans for people, maybe you 00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:19.019 have a boutique digital marketing firm, or again, 00:43:19.079 --> 00:43:21.239 you're a solo professional, you have a small 00:43:21.239 --> 00:43:23.659 individual company, you're trying to sell something. 00:43:24.340 --> 00:43:27.199 One of the things that you ought to have clearly 00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:31.429 in your mind is that every conversation is an 00:43:31.429 --> 00:43:36.010 interview. That the people are watching. The 00:43:36.010 --> 00:43:39.130 people around you are watching. And especially 00:43:39.130 --> 00:43:41.670 if you're in a setting where you are networking 00:43:41.670 --> 00:43:44.610 or you're in a setting where what is coming out 00:43:44.610 --> 00:43:47.789 into the open is the work that you do. Now, in 00:43:47.789 --> 00:43:50.769 this particular company, it was fascinating to 00:43:50.769 --> 00:43:54.650 hear that. I just smiled because it was something 00:43:54.650 --> 00:43:57.190 that the executives that I would end up working 00:43:57.190 --> 00:43:59.300 with, I would give them that insight. Please 00:43:59.300 --> 00:44:01.219 know this. Anytime you go into a leadership team 00:44:01.219 --> 00:44:04.679 meeting or you're presenting and you have higher 00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:07.139 level executives in the room with you, just know 00:44:07.139 --> 00:44:10.320 this, that every conversation is an interview 00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:16.480 and every meeting is a tryout. Every meeting 00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:19.400 is a tryout. Every time you go and have coffee 00:44:19.400 --> 00:44:22.480 with someone, it's a tryout. They want to see 00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:25.139 how you operate when you're in that type of setting. 00:44:28.559 --> 00:44:32.880 That can be so very helpful when you are attempting 00:44:32.880 --> 00:44:37.119 to be successful in your business or as a business. 00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:41.159 I got a big kick out of this because it involves 00:44:41.159 --> 00:44:46.840 kicking. It involves a sport. My son was on a 00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:49.940 high -level soccer team. It was a premier club 00:44:49.940 --> 00:44:54.000 team. And they had this extensive tryout program 00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:59.280 for these players. And there were four different 00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:02.940 teams operating from the top level, second, third, 00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:06.940 and fourth level. And what would happen is, okay, 00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:09.860 after these extensive days of tryouts, you get 00:45:09.860 --> 00:45:13.559 placed on a team. However, once you're placed 00:45:13.559 --> 00:45:16.000 on a team, they pulled everybody back together, 00:45:16.059 --> 00:45:18.159 and here's what they would say to the people, 00:45:18.260 --> 00:45:21.739 let's say, if you're on the third team. All right, 00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:24.039 we just want you to know that... There's going 00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:27.000 to be a game that the second level team has next 00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:32.840 week. And one of you is going to be pulled up 00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:36.920 to play on that team in that game. And so every 00:45:36.920 --> 00:45:42.059 practice, every practice that you have is a tryout. 00:45:42.820 --> 00:45:44.159 And you think, wait a minute, I thought I made 00:45:44.159 --> 00:45:47.679 the team. Yeah, you did make the team. But now 00:45:47.679 --> 00:45:49.940 you need to know that how you show up in practice. 00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:53.219 How you show up practice after practice is a 00:45:53.219 --> 00:45:56.099 tryout for what's going to happen to you in the 00:45:56.099 --> 00:46:02.960 next game. My son was nine years old. Nine years 00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:09.960 old. And he was taught that lesson at that point. 00:46:10.900 --> 00:46:16.179 I just find that so humorous. But it's so true. 00:46:19.340 --> 00:46:23.900 You're always on and so if you're always on then 00:46:23.900 --> 00:46:28.940 you must realize that When you go into a circumstance 00:46:28.940 --> 00:46:32.179 into a setting into a business meeting you're 00:46:32.179 --> 00:46:35.239 going into the company today You're not just 00:46:35.239 --> 00:46:39.800 somebody that is living out a job You're someone 00:46:39.800 --> 00:46:43.099 that is radiating something into that environment 00:46:43.099 --> 00:46:46.019 you're radiating something into that environment 00:46:46.019 --> 00:46:51.489 and What you radiate? is going to impact those 00:46:51.489 --> 00:46:56.349 around you think of it this way how many times 00:46:56.349 --> 00:46:59.250 have you and your spouse if you're married you're 00:46:59.250 --> 00:47:02.250 driving to a party and let's just say you were 00:47:02.250 --> 00:47:06.510 having a lively disagreement yeah you were fighting 00:47:06.510 --> 00:47:09.469 on the way over yelling at each other really 00:47:09.469 --> 00:47:14.250 upset and then all of a sudden in that upsetment 00:47:14.250 --> 00:47:17.610 you now arrive at the party and you go walk into 00:47:17.610 --> 00:47:20.059 the party And you've got smiles on your faces. 00:47:20.980 --> 00:47:25.400 What are you radiating? Are you radiating what 00:47:25.400 --> 00:47:28.400 the external face is saying you're radiating? 00:47:28.460 --> 00:47:32.840 No. No, you're radiating the discord, the lack 00:47:32.840 --> 00:47:36.519 of peace. That's the word. You're all stirred 00:47:36.519 --> 00:47:41.400 up. Remember, peace is the tranquility that comes 00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:47.860 when things are in order. Tranquility, pax est 00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:53.739 tranquilitas ordinis. Peace is the serenity, 00:47:53.739 --> 00:47:57.659 the calm, the tranquility that comes when things 00:47:57.659 --> 00:48:01.460 are in order. So when you have that interior 00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:07.570 sense of being in order, it shows up. So when 00:48:07.570 --> 00:48:10.650 you bring a sense of the peace that is in your 00:48:10.650 --> 00:48:12.530 heart because you're in union with Christ, you 00:48:12.530 --> 00:48:14.150 bring that into the workplace, it's going to 00:48:14.150 --> 00:48:18.190 shine. It is going to shine. And so when you 00:48:18.190 --> 00:48:22.409 then go and you see someone, and believe it or 00:48:22.409 --> 00:48:24.949 not, one of the most critical people that I would 00:48:24.949 --> 00:48:29.710 deal with in the organization is the EA, the 00:48:29.710 --> 00:48:34.150 Executive Administrative Assistant. The executive 00:48:34.150 --> 00:48:36.369 administrative, not the secretary. Don't you 00:48:36.369 --> 00:48:38.030 dare call that person a secretary. These people 00:48:38.030 --> 00:48:41.750 are sharp. They're not just the gatekeepers. 00:48:41.769 --> 00:48:48.190 They're sharp. And so I would always know that 00:48:48.190 --> 00:48:51.389 when I would go up before I would get in the 00:48:51.389 --> 00:48:53.510 door to talk with that highly placed executive 00:48:53.510 --> 00:48:58.329 client, I wanted to be sure that I was looking 00:48:58.329 --> 00:49:01.349 in the eyes that executive administrative assistant. 00:49:02.280 --> 00:49:06.960 And I would, my goal was to let them know, each 00:49:06.960 --> 00:49:09.420 of them know, I see you as a gift. You are a 00:49:09.420 --> 00:49:13.119 gift. And I want you to shine as a result of 00:49:13.119 --> 00:49:17.579 our interaction. And just having that as a focus, 00:49:17.619 --> 00:49:20.659 it impacted what questions I would ask them. 00:49:21.420 --> 00:49:23.400 Something like, what's the best thing happening 00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:25.920 that's happened to you today? What's the best 00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:28.820 thing going on in your life right now? Or I just 00:49:28.820 --> 00:49:30.639 want you to know, it's just always a delight 00:49:30.639 --> 00:49:36.519 to see your smile. And so these things were appropriate, 00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:40.900 and yet they were an attempt to draw out of that 00:49:40.900 --> 00:49:45.480 person that gift quality that they actually are, 00:49:45.579 --> 00:49:49.420 and to be able to have that come out onto the 00:49:49.420 --> 00:49:52.239 surface, have that come out into the open. And 00:49:52.239 --> 00:49:55.059 I got to tell you, it was a difference maker. 00:49:55.219 --> 00:49:58.000 It differentiated me from so many other people 00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.840 that would interact with them in purely functional 00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:04.699 ways. And so having that be personal, what am 00:50:04.699 --> 00:50:07.840 I doing? I'm saying, I'm not just here to bring 00:50:07.840 --> 00:50:13.559 a message. I am the message. That was another 00:50:13.559 --> 00:50:16.559 important truth. Again, it all traces back to 00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:19.510 the sense that You're this gift. So again, I'm 00:50:19.510 --> 00:50:20.829 sitting in the room. What's at stake in your 00:50:20.829 --> 00:50:22.349 life right now? What's at stake for you right 00:50:22.349 --> 00:50:26.210 now? It often was going back to the core, getting 00:50:26.210 --> 00:50:28.909 back to the heart. The heart of the matter is 00:50:28.909 --> 00:50:31.969 what matters to the heart. And I just made that 00:50:31.969 --> 00:50:35.469 up. I think that's pretty cool. And so I would 00:50:35.469 --> 00:50:37.269 say to them, look, you are the message. You don't 00:50:37.269 --> 00:50:38.650 just have a message. You're not just bringing 00:50:38.650 --> 00:50:40.269 a message when you're presenting in that room 00:50:40.269 --> 00:50:44.250 tomorrow, but you are the message. So let's take 00:50:44.250 --> 00:50:46.659 a look at how you are showing up. Let's take 00:50:46.659 --> 00:50:48.719 a look at what it is you're going to say, what 00:50:48.719 --> 00:50:50.860 order you want to say it in, how is it that you 00:50:50.860 --> 00:50:53.239 want to emphasize it. And so you want to make 00:50:53.239 --> 00:50:56.300 sure that that message itself is showing up in 00:50:56.300 --> 00:50:59.360 its beauty and truth and its goodness so that 00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:01.760 what's at stake in this message will also be 00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:04.559 received. And it's not just going to come across 00:51:04.559 --> 00:51:07.179 as a bunch of PowerPoint slides that just shares 00:51:07.179 --> 00:51:09.920 information that's just going to be eyes glazing 00:51:09.920 --> 00:51:14.699 over. It doesn't have any impact. And so being 00:51:14.699 --> 00:51:18.780 able to recognize that every conversation is 00:51:18.780 --> 00:51:22.739 an interview, every meeting is a tryout, who 00:51:22.739 --> 00:51:28.000 you are radiates out and it's going to magnetically 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:30.679 draw people to you because you are the message 00:51:30.679 --> 00:51:40.179 or it won't. Guys that are in bondage to internet 00:51:40.179 --> 00:51:44.989 pornography, That's going to show up. It'll show 00:51:44.989 --> 00:51:51.210 up in the eyes. How a guy looks at ladies. They 00:51:51.210 --> 00:51:58.429 know. Are your eyes clear? Are they clean? Are 00:51:58.429 --> 00:52:02.420 they looking? at that woman and they're saying 00:52:02.420 --> 00:52:05.099 as they, with their eyes, with their very manner 00:52:05.099 --> 00:52:07.579 of seeing, I'm looking at you and I can look 00:52:07.579 --> 00:52:11.039 you in the eyes and there's no sense of energy. 00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:19.579 There's no sense of clouded energy or a twofold 00:52:19.579 --> 00:52:23.079 kind of engagement going on at one level. The, 00:52:23.099 --> 00:52:26.360 yeah, I'm smiling and I'm talking to you, but 00:52:26.360 --> 00:52:29.139 there's also in the eyes, something that says, 00:52:30.120 --> 00:52:34.739 inside my brain, my imagination, I've got a whole 00:52:34.739 --> 00:52:39.840 other bunch of stuff going on. Guys are foolish. 00:52:40.739 --> 00:52:44.199 They're foolish. You are foolish. If you think 00:52:44.199 --> 00:52:49.519 that you can live like that in hiding, and you 00:52:49.519 --> 00:52:52.619 think nobody knows, but how you live in the core 00:52:52.619 --> 00:52:57.400 of your being, it manifests itself. It radiates. 00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:00.440 It's not a matter of, will I radiate something? 00:53:00.739 --> 00:53:05.199 It's a matter of, what will I radiate into my 00:53:05.199 --> 00:53:08.800 environment? And so, oh, by the way, that's true 00:53:08.800 --> 00:53:10.940 in your family. That's true when you're with 00:53:10.940 --> 00:53:13.119 your kids. How are you spending your time? How 00:53:13.119 --> 00:53:14.579 are you spending your life? How are you spending 00:53:14.579 --> 00:53:17.820 your life energy? Are you giving yourself over 00:53:17.820 --> 00:53:21.420 to the Lord in the secret moments, in the quiet? 00:53:22.010 --> 00:53:24.530 Are you putting Him first? Are you prioritizing 00:53:24.530 --> 00:53:27.250 your relationship with Him? Are you spending 00:53:27.250 --> 00:53:29.090 your time looking Him in the eyes? If you do 00:53:29.090 --> 00:53:30.909 that, you know what's going to happen? It'll 00:53:30.909 --> 00:53:33.030 clear the muddiness and the fogginess of the 00:53:33.030 --> 00:53:37.090 waters. It'll bring calm. It'll bring a depth 00:53:37.090 --> 00:53:40.710 so that the heart of Christ that is in union 00:53:40.710 --> 00:53:43.630 with your heart will manifest. It'll show up 00:53:43.630 --> 00:53:46.050 on your face. It'll radiate into your environment. 00:53:46.409 --> 00:53:49.800 And you will be a message. Not just the message 00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:51.900 of who you are, but the message of Christ in 00:53:51.900 --> 00:53:54.679 your world. And you'll do that without ever saying 00:53:54.679 --> 00:53:58.119 the name Jesus. That's powerful. Let's do that.