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Hello everyone and welcome to the Awaken Together podcast.

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I am Jen and today we have a special guest that I am so excited for.

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Lexi is an astrologer that shares a very similar background to me.

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We have had these beautiful heart-to-hearts on TikTok lives and just become really friends

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through social media and it's been so beautiful to watch her shine as she grows her own business.

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And I'm so excited for her to share some insight with us on her journey of going from a deep

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religion background into this kind of more freedom and spirituality and really turning

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to the stars for additional guidance.

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I can astrology nerd out all day long as you know.

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So with that, welcome our astrologer guest Lexi Wilson, another Wilson.

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Hello.

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Hello everyone and yes, Wilson's in the house.

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It's great.

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It's so great.

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That was like our first clicking point.

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We're like, we feel good.

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We got exactly like I can trust her.

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I love that.

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Awesome.

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Well, I'm so happy to have you here and I want to say that I've absolutely loved your

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content along the way.

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I feel like we've been each other's height people and I've loved that.

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Oh my goodness.

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Yes, because your content girl.

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Oh my word.

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Every single time you post something, it's literally like when I'm sitting in correctly

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or when I'm complaining about like back pain and then I'll see something like literally

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I'm scrolling and you'll be like, you're supposed to sit like this.

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And I'm like, ah, damn she got me.

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Honestly, to link it to astrology.

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It's my Virgo rising with a Virgo Jupiter.

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I can't help myself.

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I'm obsessed with mind and body, correcting the body, feeling into the body, helping others

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with the body.

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That makes so much sense.

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Totally on brand.

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That definitely is on brand.

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Well, I appreciate the love and yeah, to start us off in this conversation, I would love

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for you to share with everyone.

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We have had episodes on really a lot of religion trauma and trauma in general, but I know that

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you so share a similar journey to me and I know how many levels and how much work all

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of the undoing of really toxic like upbringing takes, but I love for you to just kind of

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share how you started this life and then kind of your shift into getting out of it.

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And then we can kind of dive into how astrology fell into that too.

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You know, it's so funny because right before we started recording, we were talking and

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we were just talking a little bit about the Saturn return.

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And interestingly enough, now that I think about it, it's like, well, the Saturn return

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and astrology, not that I knew at the time, but now that was so astrology really was like

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the thing that transitions me out of being inside of a very fundamental closed religion

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into who I am today.

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It was the Saturn return.

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So we'll come back to that, but I just found that to be interesting that obviously there's

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no coincidences that we were talking about that, you know, right.

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Exactly.

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So yeah, but basically I grew up in a religion that was very, very controlled.

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We were told exactly what to wear, how to, what we could eat.

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I wasn't allowed to wear jewelry or eat like seafood, like shrimp or pork.

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I was strongly encouraged.

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There are some sex within the religion that were required women to only wear dresses and

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men can wear pants.

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So I was strongly encouraged to really wear very plain clothes and mostly stick to dresses,

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but I wear pants occasionally because my parents allowed me to.

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But a lot of my whole life was just really controlled and I was homeschooled.

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So even inside of my education, I did go to public school when I was younger, but around

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sixth grade, my parents homeschooled me until college, which really controlled how I viewed

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the world and what I was allowed to do and who I was even allowed to be friends with.

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And so because of this religion, I was in church probably a good four times a week for

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prayer meetings, youth meetings, and just any events that we had alongside every weekend,

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we would actually meet on Saturdays instead of Sundays.

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And so we would also meet for usually for Friday nights to bring in the Sabbath, which

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is what we are observing.

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That's what they called it from Friday night sundown to Saturday night sundown.

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And because of that, during that time, that whole 24 hour period, we were discouraged from

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interacting with anything that was from the world, which would be secular music, movies,

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TV shows, everything.

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All of that needed to be pushed aside so we could focus our entire time on resting and

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communing with God.

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Yeah.

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Can you believe Lexi, my husband didn't even know what secular meant.

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Like wow, side note, like, oh, I think I have this language that like, oh yeah, it's called

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my friends and I call it Christian ease.

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There is an entire language and it's so crazy because I didn't realize it was a language

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until you're in the world.

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Yeah.

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You go to talk about it and you're like, wait, you don't know what I'm saying.

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Like, right.

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Exactly.

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Because it's so part, especially if you are so closed, you don't talk to other people

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who don't get Christian eats.

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So you don't know that you're speaking an entirely different language until you meet

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someone else.

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And they're like, what is secular?

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And you're like, what?

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And so, yeah, so that was my whole life was just constantly in devout to the church and

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it controlled everything, especially as you can imagine, as a girl, it controls you on

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a whole different level because of the fact that it means that I'm not allowed to be a

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pastor or to be an elder.

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I can't hold leadership roles.

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I have to control the way that men see me.

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So I have to dress in a certain way because I'm responsible for them.

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And I don't want to be a Jezebel, as they would call it, where you are causing men to

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sin.

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And so that was kind of the way that I was raised and I hated it.

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I hated it.

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I was third generation inside of this religion, which means that my grandmother joined when

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she was a little girl.

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She raised my mom in it and all her children in it.

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And then my mom raised me in it.

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And I had a lot of great experiences, but at the same time, I've had a lot of trauma,

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just like many other people who grew up in this sort of thing, because so much of your

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identity has to be hidden or denied or shamed, which is the worst ever emotion that any of

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us could ever experience is that shame and that guilt that comes along with that because

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it permeates through everything else in your life.

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And so that was sort of what I dealt with.

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And when I hit my twenties, I had went to a college that was also part of my religion.

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So I was still in the church and still in all these things.

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And even in college, you had a curfew, you could only do certain things and dress certain

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things.

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You weren't allowed to wear jewelry in school.

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So it was still very, very controlling.

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And once I graduated is when I first, for the first time got to live by myself, I didn't

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have roommates that were also in the religion and I didn't have RAs.

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I was an RA, so sorry to everyone that I have to tell the rules to, but I didn't have that

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control anymore.

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So it gave me permission to start to ask questions and take actions that I couldn't take before.

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And so that being able to live on my own, I was still, when I graduated, I was still

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in the city of the people that I went to college with.

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So that city was very much like, we own that town, that religion like owns that town.

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So you still couldn't do too much because everyone there is part of the religion.

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But at least by being home and not having roommates and not having anyone controlling

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what I was doing, it gave me permission to start to read different types of books or

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watch different types of YouTube because in college, a lot of our stuff was banned.

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So I couldn't just go onto YouTube, which at the time YouTube was just beginning.

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So it was very, like, I couldn't go and search different kinds of websites because they would

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be banned.

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But once I moved off campus and graduated, I could go to anywhere on the internet and

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that opened up a lot of doors, which started to give me this permission to explore spirituality.

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And although I was terrified, so it took me a lot of years to actually decide to engage

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with it.

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I could at least like sort of look at it, the new age thing and just kind of look at

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it.

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But I wasn't like, I'm going to bring cards home or go get crystals.

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Like you're waiting to see if Satan's going to take you down.

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Exactly right, because that's what you're raised to believe.

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I was raised to believe that literally jewelry.

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Okay, this is why we didn't wear jewelry, because the idea is you're not supposed to

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have any other idols before God.

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And so if you wear jewelry, then what you're doing is you're putting something like adornment

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over the what God has made you already look like, like God has made you perfect.

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Why do you need to adorn yourself with these jewels?

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And if you do, it suggests that it's because you are placing your view of beauty over God's

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view of your beauty.

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In addition to the fact that when you are holding these crystals or these jewelry, what

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you're doing is you're putting this energy or you're letting that energy come into you

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and it becomes a gateway at which Satan can confuse you and control you.

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Right, I know.

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So this is why it's like, oh, well, now this makes a lot of sense why we weren't allowed

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to wear jewelry, because they likened it to crystals and to all these different things

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on top of that, like you couldn't pierce your body, you couldn't do tattoos, because of

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course, the Bible also discourages that.

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Of course, the Bible also discourages against, you know, witchcraft and all these things.

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So if you're playing around with cards and things like that, like, oh my goodness, girl.

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So I had a lot of internal fear that I couldn't really get over necessarily, but the way in

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which I was starting to do that was by one kind of, you know, Googling a little bit and

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seeing like, what is new age?

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Because that's what I used to find the term at the time.

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But then outside of that, my life, I just hit the real world.

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Now I was working a real world, real world job.

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I was working in social work and you know, social work is, it's definitely real world

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and coming from such a naive place, it was an abrupt change.

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I dealt with a lot of abuse in my own childhood, but I didn't see it that way because it's

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part of the religion.

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It's part of the culture, right?

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Respect your parents.

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Don't second guess.

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Yeah.

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You know, so I didn't second guess it.

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I just thought this is part of it.

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So when I saw it in social work, I saw the problem, but I didn't see how it was actually

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very much my life as well.

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But by going through that, it did give me permission to recognize like, man, there's

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a whole different world out here.

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And a lot of these people that I'm meeting in like my coworkers and things like that,

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I've been taught to think that they were, you know, like twisted minded and bad people.

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And they were going to trick you and pull you away.

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And now here I'm here and I'm like, no, these people seem really nice.

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Like they seem normal.

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They seem cool.

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So all of those little seeds started planting permission to have doubt in me.

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And so that gave me this courage to step into like, huh, okay, well, if they were wrong

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about the world, what else might they be wrong about?

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And then that's when technically I get to, I'm fast forwarding so much, but get to my

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Saturn return around 28.

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I really started to struggle with the idea of going to church and there was this documentary

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that somebody in our church decided to make.

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And it was about gay people inside of the church and they were sharing their story.

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And the point of the documentary was basically to humanize gay people because part of my

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religion as well was talking about how homosexuality is a sin.

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And so here I went to go watch the documentary, even though many people in the church were

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like, this is an abomination.

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Why are we like, why did, why was this created?

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And I loved it.

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And I got so angry at the fact that these people are being treated so differently because

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of who they are.

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I was just who they are.

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And little did I know that I was bisexual.

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I mean, yeah, but I did not know for sure.

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But I was so angry.

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And then especially because I had also found out that inside of my church years back, they

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had a very racist stance against black people.

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And yet obviously they were wrong and they later on kind of mysteriously have removed

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some of the chains.

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You can see that they cover their tracks.

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Right.

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They cover their tracks.

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And so at the time I thought, now I'm a black person just in case you guys don't know, but

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at the time I thought, okay.

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So if they were wrong about what they believe was their role in tackling civil rights and

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racism, could they be wrong about homosexuality?

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And why are they not willing to ask that question when they were also wrong about racism?

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So that was kind of like something that I was constantly bringing up in church, which

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of course was like, they don't like a questioner.

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They don't like a questioner.

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And especially when you're talking about, are you trying to get us to a point of, of

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saying that we're wrong about homosexuality?

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And you're also trying to get us to admit that at one point we were also holding racist

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ideology as well.

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Like you've got to, you gotta be kidding me.

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You know?

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So like it was, it created a lot of tension between me and elders in the church all the

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time, which was good because it started making me uncomfortable with going to church.

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So by me feeling that discomfort, it gave me permission to then stop going.

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And around that time of 28 was when my life started to just fall apart and I didn't know

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why.

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Everything was just going wrong.

236
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My job was horrible and that was turning into something that was horrible.

237
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My perception of reality and spirituality was shifting.

238
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I felt like I just felt horrible.

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And at one point I basically was like, listen, if I'm, if Jesus knows my heart and I end

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up getting to like the end of the line and Jesus comes, the second coming, and then he

241
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looks at my heart and he recognizes that I wasn't a good little religious girl.

242
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I'm going to go to hell anyway.

243
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So I might as well just go all the way.

244
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And that was my perspective that I was like, because if Jesus reads my heart, it doesn't

245
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matter how I act.

246
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Everyone else is going to think I'm a Christian, but Jesus is going to come back and he's going

247
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to see that I'm not.

248
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So I've just got to go and do my thing.

249
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And so essentially at that age time is when I started to really allow myself to explore

250
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like what, what is this?

251
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And at the time Periscope was around.

252
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And so there was this girl that would sometimes do card readings because I was too afraid

253
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to bring cards into my house.

254
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,660
So much truth in your story.

255
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,660
You know what I mean?

256
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:41,940
I was so afraid that I was like, okay, I won't buy cards, but I'm just going to turn into,

257
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into this Periscope girl.

258
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She has to say, and every time, every time that she would go live, she was always right

259
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,620
about where I was and what I was experiencing.

260
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And so that was kind of the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

261
00:16:54,820 --> 00:17:02,300
It wasn't pretty at all, but that is the long, but short story of how I kind of got here.

262
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Oh my God.

263
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:08,820
It's like, Oh my, like you said it so well.

264
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:13,620
And yeah, like it's so crazy how you have to kind of take the logic from where you're

265
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:16,220
at and walk your way to different stuff.

266
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:22,020
Like it's, I think it's very funny for people outside of it to, to know, like, you know,

267
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:26,420
unless you were in it, it's kind of hard to feel like how you have to talk yourself into

268
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,860
things in this really backwards way to like, you know, do it.

269
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:34,220
It seems like kind of ridiculous, but it comes in so many layers.

270
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:38,940
Because when you're taught from a really young age, that every single thing is out to trick

271
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:39,940
you.

272
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:45,100
It's so hard to trust, like so many things, including your own emotional needs, which

273
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just like the layers of that keep coming.

274
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:53,380
You know, you just feel so wrong for feeling so many things that you eventually lose your

275
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compass for even knowing what you're feeling and why you get so used to having like this

276
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,660
service mind.

277
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:07,100
And yeah, and the, I remember like my first like early steps, like, you know, it felt

278
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:15,020
so selfish and it felt yeah, there was just so much confusion on self love and yeah, being

279
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:19,420
of the self and how like, you know, there was just so many layers.

280
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I don't know about you, but like I know in my, in my religion, we had that Bible verse

281
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:29,540
that was like, lean not on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge him and he will

282
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direct your path, which I cannot believe that I actually remember that.

283
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:33,820
Oh, I got him down.

284
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,900
Like see, yeah, this is crazy.

285
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:42,420
But because of that belief, that is part of why we were also trained to not trust our

286
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:50,640
own inner feelings because you're taught from childhood that your natural disposition is

287
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,260
to walk towards sin.

288
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:53,260
Yeah.

289
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:59,500
So if you're taught that we are all born sinners and thus born to do the wrong thing, and that

290
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:06,700
the way out of sin and into salvation is one to believe that Jesus Christ died for you

291
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:11,220
and two to live your life in honor of him.

292
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:16,340
Now you're going to, you can't trust yourself because you've been taught your whole life

293
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,820
that your heart is sinful.

294
00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:22,380
So you have to lean on God, on Jesus.

295
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:29,460
And so that's part of what makes transitioning out of this so difficult is because you, you

296
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:37,820
are trying to do something that is, you have literally been taught is bad, is going to

297
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:41,700
send you to hell, to hell fire.

298
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,980
That is, that is where so much of the trauma really comes from.

299
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:52,420
Because if you know that, that, what, that even the asking of the question is, is going

300
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:53,420
to lead you there.

301
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:58,620
I know, I also know that in my religion, a lot of times the way that we understood Satan's

302
00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,620
role in this.

303
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,700
Yeah, he can be just like light.

304
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:07,980
And so you don't even know how to trust anything because you're like, what if this is a disguise?

305
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:08,980
What if it's a disguise?

306
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:09,980
Yeah.

307
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:14,980
And for me, the way that they raised me was like, the way that this started was, was Satan

308
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,500
was starting to ask questions.

309
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:22,300
That was how they framed it to me, that if you're asking all these questions, you need

310
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:26,980
to be careful because Lucifer asked a lot of questions and look at where it landed him,

311
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:27,980
you know?

312
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:34,980
And when you're likening me to the worst possible thing ever, that, you know, it makes it very

313
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:39,900
difficult then to trust yourself because you're going, okay, so I'm born a sinner.

314
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:42,160
My natural disposition is to sin.

315
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:47,180
If I ask too many questions, it means that I'm just like the ultimate sinner.

316
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,180
Come on now.

317
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,380
So now am I going to leave?

318
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,380
No.

319
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:56,980
On top of, if I do leave, that means that I might risk losing my parents, my friends,

320
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:02,260
because if you're really like the way that I was raised where your whole world is in

321
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,860
the church, you're not going to...

322
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:04,860
You'll get cut off.

323
00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:05,860
You'll get cut off.

324
00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:06,860
Yeah.

325
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:12,060
You'll get cut off because at the end of the day, it's, it's like why they have to, like

326
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:17,500
my best friend completely blocked me, cut me off and everything once she realized that

327
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,740
I had left.

328
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:24,180
And the reason why she did that, which I understand because I understand the religion, the reason...

329
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,820
You get the logic, you know?

330
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:26,820
Right.

331
00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,580
The reason why you do that is one, she's a parent now.

332
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:33,980
And so in her mind, she was like, I don't want to expose my children to whatever sin

333
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:38,380
you'll bring into their life as a result of our friendship.

334
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:43,900
Two, I don't want my children to be influenced to behave the way that you're behaving as

335
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,460
a result of our friendship.

336
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:53,580
And three, I also don't want to be influenced or tempted to go against God's word because

337
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,260
of our friendship.

338
00:21:55,260 --> 00:22:01,780
So even though it's not in my faith, it's not that it's encouraged like, you know, like

339
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:05,980
with Scientologists, they straight up say like, you have to shun them.

340
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:09,460
The church doesn't say that, but they do the same thing.

341
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:10,580
There's just no word for it.

342
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:11,580
Like there is in Scientology.

343
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,580
Yeah.

344
00:22:12,580 --> 00:22:17,380
But they do the same exact thing in the essence that the only real relationship that we can

345
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:23,940
have at this point is if I am willing to explore the religion again with you all, and then

346
00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:28,060
it's up to you to witness to me, which is a huge part of my religion as well was the

347
00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:29,300
witnessing aspect.

348
00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:31,900
So it is very hard.

349
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:35,980
And I feel like for people who don't come from that background, and even the people

350
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:40,980
who do come from that background, they can't understand why it's so difficult to unravel,

351
00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:44,740
but it's because of all that, that that's why it's difficult to just leave because you're

352
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:50,380
not talking about a regular church where you just go once a week and that's it, which that

353
00:22:50,380 --> 00:22:52,720
can even be really difficult too sometimes.

354
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,220
But if you are somebody who you were going to church multiple times and the religion

355
00:22:56,220 --> 00:23:00,660
permeated your entire life and not just the one day a week that you would, that you're

356
00:23:00,660 --> 00:23:05,340
expected to go, then you can, that you can expect that this process is going to take

357
00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:08,100
years and years and years to deconstruct from.

358
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:09,100
Yeah.

359
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,100
Yep.

360
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,100
No.

361
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:12,100
So, so well said.

362
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:17,860
And yeah, I think for, for my family and stuff too, as more came out, you know, they believe

363
00:23:17,860 --> 00:23:20,300
that this existence is a test.

364
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:23,660
It's a test to see how much devotion you will have.

365
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:30,620
So anytime I am off, you know, I'm so off track to my family and that I'm like, so in

366
00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:36,720
this dark, like being so manipulated by evil and they truly have felt that way.

367
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:42,300
You know, I remember I started yoga and all the stuff my mom said and sent me and that

368
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:49,340
and like just the layers, but it's all because they don't even see the relationship to you

369
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,940
as like a daughter.

370
00:23:50,940 --> 00:23:51,940
No.

371
00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:58,700
As being above what the relationship in this existence is, which is all a test to see if

372
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:05,340
you'll continue to be devoted to God, which unfortunately is tied into so many of this

373
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:11,140
religion dogma, which as you brought up, and that was huge for me too, like reading books

374
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:16,760
and taking in documentaries and information like was so helpful to start to like get the

375
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:17,760
picture of it.

376
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:22,260
But when you look at the history, the church has changed so much of the little things that

377
00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:29,180
they like stand behind and why they use the same Bible verses to yeah, really promote

378
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:34,020
racism and then that's all kind of been washed out and now they're doing the same exact thing.

379
00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:38,460
And if you look at the layers on how they've kept people small and you really start to

380
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:45,500
notice like the yeah, the hatred that's tied into so many things and how it's so conditional

381
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:51,500
and not really this love that it's, you know, it doesn't match what they're saying as there's

382
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,500
so much that does not when you realize it.

383
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:55,500
Right.

384
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:56,500
Exactly.

385
00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,500
No, it totally doesn't match.

386
00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:01,300
And that's what's so interesting is that a lot of times, you know, you want to talk about

387
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:06,740
God is love and Jesus is love in particular, but then at the same time, in the same breath,

388
00:25:06,740 --> 00:25:13,900
you know, you're using these verses to discredit people's natural nature or to support, which

389
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:21,220
is so interesting because, you know, I really, one of the things that really kind of helped

390
00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:26,420
me to start to really reassess everything is being a black person that really helped

391
00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:35,100
because in at least in terms of American slavery, slavery was condoned from a biblical sense.

392
00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:41,760
There was a lot of, yeah, there were a lot of slave masters who were literally like,

393
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,580
this is what the Bible says about you and they would take the verses that were referencing

394
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:49,300
slavery, but obviously not talking about this.

395
00:25:49,300 --> 00:25:55,100
They would reference it and then say, well, that's why you're supposed to be enslaved.

396
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:56,100
That's why you're this.

397
00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:58,000
And I'm really just doing God's work.

398
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:02,340
So I always find it interesting when I'm talking to people of color, especially where I'm like,

399
00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:06,140
do you guys know like the real history behind this?

400
00:26:06,140 --> 00:26:10,020
Because that's the, that's the real truth behind that.

401
00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:15,620
And so that's what it's like, you twisted that to support really your, like, this was

402
00:26:15,620 --> 00:26:16,620
about economics.

403
00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:17,620
This was about money.

404
00:26:17,620 --> 00:26:22,980
It had nothing to do with anything else, but you wanted, you wanted the same thing with

405
00:26:22,980 --> 00:26:27,060
missionary work where it's like, you go off to these islands, you go off to these countries

406
00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:32,720
and continents and you say that you're going there to bring the gospel, but then ultimately

407
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:37,940
know you were really there to conquer the land and get whatever resources.

408
00:26:37,940 --> 00:26:42,740
And disrespect their culture, villainize their culture, demonize their culture, make their

409
00:26:42,740 --> 00:26:46,020
culture illegal in their, on their own lands.

410
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:47,820
What, like, this is crazy.

411
00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:53,060
And you use religion, not God, not the like spirit.

412
00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:58,820
You use religion, which is totally manmade to then put people into these boxes, which

413
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:01,940
ultimately was really about your economic gain.

414
00:27:01,940 --> 00:27:09,580
And so that's where it's like, we really have to look at the truth behind these spaces where

415
00:27:09,580 --> 00:27:11,820
how were they, how did they really affect?

416
00:27:11,820 --> 00:27:14,100
Because now you can even see it today.

417
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:20,220
I love that you kind of brought that up because when times change, you'll notice that all

418
00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:22,660
of a sudden the religions change.

419
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:28,980
So at one point when you're talking about racism, here it was, it was supported by various

420
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:34,500
Christian churches who had these beliefs about why they needed to do what they were doing.

421
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:35,500
Okay.

422
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:40,860
Well now, you know, I just saw in the news recently about the, I think it was the Catholic

423
00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:47,500
church mentioning something about trying to change certain things in the Bible or change,

424
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,180
like just change the phrasing of it.

425
00:27:49,180 --> 00:27:51,660
So it would be more inclusive.

426
00:27:51,660 --> 00:27:56,300
And I thought that was interesting because although like that doesn't sound bad, what

427
00:27:56,300 --> 00:28:00,740
I find interesting is that it's like, yes, but you see how it changes.

428
00:28:00,740 --> 00:28:07,500
It changes the context of the Bible and it changes the context of the meaning behind

429
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,500
all of this stuff.

430
00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:09,500
Yeah.

431
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:13,940
At what point are we not going to like fully redefine and just let it break down?

432
00:28:13,940 --> 00:28:14,940
Exactly.

433
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:19,100
Because if you're willing to change it, then that tells me if you're willing to change

434
00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:26,700
it based off of culture, then how holy and reverent is this or is it really based off

435
00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:31,340
of the culture and what's happening in the time, which to me makes a lot more sense.

436
00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:35,500
And it's like, no, it is your, when you're trying to take over people, you turn it into

437
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,740
this when you're trying to eliminate certain cultures, you turn it into that.

438
00:28:39,740 --> 00:28:42,860
When you're trying to make something more welcoming, you turn it into this.

439
00:28:42,860 --> 00:28:45,900
I mean, people don't want to get into the reality behind Christmas.

440
00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:46,900
Okay.

441
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:47,900
You don't want to know.

442
00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:54,500
And yeah, it's all rooted in privilege and so much of the, it's just tied in.

443
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:57,140
And I think what you said is so important.

444
00:28:57,140 --> 00:29:02,060
I remember having this moment of looking at like the women's right movement and how much

445
00:29:02,060 --> 00:29:06,020
the church got involved in that, like to try to like slow it down.

446
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:12,500
Anytime expansiveness tries to happen, what ends up boxing it back in is usually a huge

447
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:14,340
push of religion stuff.

448
00:29:14,340 --> 00:29:20,020
You can look at the drug movement when all of the psychedelic research came, the church

449
00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:26,020
shut that down every single time something goes to make us bigger and into more freedom

450
00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:28,100
pull us back in that threat.

451
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:32,020
It's a threat of power and privilege and it stomps back.

452
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:37,060
And yeah, and even spirituality, this giant spiritual movement.

453
00:29:37,060 --> 00:29:42,540
I feel like we have to have so many conversations about that, not ending up mirroring in a lot

454
00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:44,420
of ways, some of the same shit.

455
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:45,420
Oh yeah.

456
00:29:45,420 --> 00:29:46,420
Careful.

457
00:29:46,420 --> 00:29:52,900
But I think in spirituality, like there is at its root, it's supposed to be this craving

458
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,460
for freedom.

459
00:29:54,460 --> 00:30:01,140
And it's not that there isn't a lot, there is hints of truth that lied and so much, but

460
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:05,540
we have to get real on the history behind this stuff.

461
00:30:05,540 --> 00:30:09,140
And once I did, it took so much of that fear out of me stepping in.

462
00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:14,100
Cause like you said, every single thing that came onto my path in spiritual, I thought

463
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:17,900
I was playing with something so dark and that I shouldn't be messing with it.

464
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:21,460
I would like dip my toe in and then see like, is my life getting worse?

465
00:30:21,460 --> 00:30:22,460
Is evil happening?

466
00:30:22,460 --> 00:30:25,980
Am I like, is anything falling apart?

467
00:30:25,980 --> 00:30:30,900
And then if something bad happened, I immediately would crawl back into the comfort.

468
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:35,940
And I was so scared and I was like, Oh, maybe something bad happened because I actually

469
00:30:35,940 --> 00:30:38,100
am supposed to be boxing again.

470
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:44,660
And then I think when you look at how many people have been completely exploited by the

471
00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:50,980
system and you really see it from more of a advocating for freedom for all.

472
00:30:50,980 --> 00:30:53,900
And you really look at it in that way.

473
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:59,580
You realize that when you're behind the line of a lot of that strict religion, you're also

474
00:30:59,580 --> 00:31:08,700
in the support system for so much, like just straight abuse and hatred and pain.

475
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:14,480
And you either need to get really loud on how you are distinguishing the difference

476
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:19,340
or you need to really get real and look around and see what you're silently encouraging.

477
00:31:19,340 --> 00:31:20,340
Right.

478
00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:23,820
And silently supporting because you're so right about that.

479
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:28,060
That's the interesting thing too, because even though, you know, I know people mean

480
00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:34,580
well at the end of the day in totality, like when you're talking about religions like this,

481
00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:35,860
religion is manmade.

482
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:36,860
It really is.

483
00:31:36,860 --> 00:31:42,100
It's a set of beliefs that are created by groups of people in order for us to work together

484
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:47,860
to meet some sort of agenda or some sort of mission that we are saying we align with.

485
00:31:47,860 --> 00:31:52,860
However, that doesn't necessarily mean that that's God leading the journey that could

486
00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:54,180
be just manmade.

487
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:56,100
And that's where religion really is.

488
00:31:56,100 --> 00:32:01,540
And the further you get away from the center of where that religion started, the wackier

489
00:32:01,540 --> 00:32:04,340
and crazier it starts to become.

490
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:06,780
All of a sudden, all these rules start to change.

491
00:32:06,780 --> 00:32:12,560
And again, when you also add in cultural shifts, when things change in the culture, that can

492
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,540
often be reflected inside of the religion.

493
00:32:14,540 --> 00:32:18,800
And that's what we're watching in some places where all of a sudden they want to be more

494
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:23,300
inclusive and they want to be this and they want to be that, which sounds very good.

495
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:26,580
They don't want to lose their money, their money.

496
00:32:26,580 --> 00:32:33,460
And it demeans the validity of the power with which you're saying that you have by having

497
00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:37,180
this holy test or holy testament, holy books.

498
00:32:37,180 --> 00:32:42,380
If you're able to change them so frequently based off of what's happening, then how can

499
00:32:42,380 --> 00:32:48,100
you also use that same thing to continue to enslave the minds of everyone who joins or

500
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:53,220
believes that's why I made the comment about Christmas because ultimately Christmas was

501
00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:57,220
and still is a very much pagan holiday.

502
00:32:57,220 --> 00:33:02,100
It is part of a culture and it's multiple cultures actually, because it's really about

503
00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:05,420
the winter solstice and that is across many different cultures.

504
00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:08,820
They call it all different kinds of names depending on which continent you're in when

505
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,060
they're talking about it.

506
00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:15,300
But it is this celebration of going into this winter.

507
00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:22,980
But because the church at the time was beginning to lose interest and lose control, they figured,

508
00:33:22,980 --> 00:33:29,140
okay, what we'll do is we'll start to connect the religious practices of the pagans with

509
00:33:29,140 --> 00:33:32,300
the Christian ideology of Jesus's birth.

510
00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:37,340
Even though historically it's been stated that Jesus was probably born closer to fall,

511
00:33:37,340 --> 00:33:44,360
probably closer to October, but yet they connected the two in order to connect the culture.

512
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,380
So people don't know that, which I'm sure over time, just like they're trying to also

513
00:33:48,380 --> 00:33:54,460
change some things now, probably hundreds of years from now, if we're still here, but

514
00:33:54,460 --> 00:33:59,300
it's like hundreds of years from now, there might be confusion on what the Bible actually

515
00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:02,620
said at a certain time because it's changing.

516
00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:08,300
This is why it's like, when you know that it starts to change, when you apply it to

517
00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:13,400
your personal life, you start to go, okay, well, if they're willing to change these things,

518
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:19,180
now that I'm understanding the history and the timing of this stuff, am I allowed to

519
00:34:19,180 --> 00:34:26,380
change how I also feel about how this is, the role that this is playing in my life?

520
00:34:26,380 --> 00:34:30,820
Because they're saying that I can't make certain choices based off of, well, the Bible verse

521
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:34,260
says this, the elder says that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

522
00:34:34,260 --> 00:34:37,020
So now I'm not allowed to wear pants.

523
00:34:37,020 --> 00:34:38,860
I'm not allowed to pierce my ears.

524
00:34:38,860 --> 00:34:40,220
I'm not allowed to do this.

525
00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:46,340
But yet, depending on when I'm born, that whole section or that whole verse may one

526
00:34:46,340 --> 00:34:48,260
day be completely eradicated.

527
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:52,160
So can I live in that freedom now?

528
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:56,260
And that's the question you have to ask yourself, but that is something that it's very difficult

529
00:34:56,260 --> 00:35:00,580
to ask yourself that question if you don't first establish that self-awareness, that

530
00:35:00,580 --> 00:35:05,940
you are allowed to have your own thought and that your own thought is not simple just because

531
00:35:05,940 --> 00:35:08,820
it doesn't originate from a Bible verse.

532
00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:12,980
You can't even get to that question until you first get to that self-awareness of like,

533
00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:14,740
oh, I'm allowed to be different.

534
00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:19,540
I'm allowed to have a difference of opinion from what I perceive to be the God of whatever

535
00:35:19,540 --> 00:35:21,020
church that I'm in.

536
00:35:21,020 --> 00:35:22,020
Yep.

537
00:35:22,020 --> 00:35:23,020
Oh, so good.

538
00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:24,020
Yeah.

539
00:35:24,020 --> 00:35:28,460
I think, Lexi, to tie up the religion and we'll talk about our journey into astrology

540
00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:29,460
too.

541
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:36,740
But yeah, I think the top line for me that finally got me to stop being so scared of

542
00:35:36,740 --> 00:35:44,900
so much stuff was realizing that fear is the body's system.

543
00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:48,340
It's your nervous system screaming that something is wrong.

544
00:35:48,340 --> 00:35:52,700
High levels of fear really cause dysfunction in the body.

545
00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:56,500
And I said, if this body is something we're put in that we're supposed to have all this

546
00:35:56,500 --> 00:36:03,740
deep respect for, why God wouldn't have us in all these fear cycles if that makes the

547
00:36:03,740 --> 00:36:05,100
body work less?

548
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:07,260
Like that doesn't make sense to me.

549
00:36:07,260 --> 00:36:09,780
And I couldn't get past that question.

550
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:16,900
Why would we be more scared in my body when I know it shuts down my organs and makes me

551
00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:17,900
more sick?

552
00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:18,900
Why would that?

553
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:19,900
That doesn't work.

554
00:36:19,900 --> 00:36:20,900
It doesn't add up.

555
00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:24,420
And that is so true because you're so right about that.

556
00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:26,460
What a beautiful question to ask because-

557
00:36:26,460 --> 00:36:27,820
And they hated that one.

558
00:36:27,820 --> 00:36:28,820
Oh yeah.

559
00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:34,340
I'm sure they did because their whole thing is around fear.

560
00:36:34,340 --> 00:36:35,340
Everything is fear.

561
00:36:35,340 --> 00:36:39,420
And the beautiful thing, it's so interesting because obviously we're taught when you're

562
00:36:39,420 --> 00:36:44,140
inside that the world is nothing but fear.

563
00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:45,700
It's nothing but something to fear.

564
00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:50,060
And yet when you get outside, it's not to say that there aren't things to be afraid

565
00:36:50,060 --> 00:36:56,220
of, but at the same time, there's so much more love in the real world.

566
00:36:56,220 --> 00:37:01,260
So much more love and so much more true love, true love, true expansion.

567
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:02,780
Unconditional love.

568
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:04,700
The unconditional love.

569
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:09,380
And that's where it's like, it's just so crazy because it's hard because the way that you

570
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:15,380
control the people is by keeping them in that fear state.

571
00:37:15,380 --> 00:37:21,860
Fear is such an easy way to control all things, animals, people, all of it.

572
00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:25,980
Keep them in fear and you can make them do whatever you need them to do.

573
00:37:25,980 --> 00:37:31,620
And so when you can, if you can get to that place of asking these types of questions to

574
00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:34,360
go, well, why would God want me to be in that space?

575
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,580
If I know that that shuts things down for me, why would God want me to be there?

576
00:37:39,580 --> 00:37:46,380
Just that simple question starts to give you permission to go, huh, that doesn't align

577
00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:49,380
with who I understand God to be.

578
00:37:49,380 --> 00:37:51,460
If you're telling me God is love.

579
00:37:51,460 --> 00:37:55,740
Now, what makes this complicated is, for some of us, God is not love.

580
00:37:55,740 --> 00:38:01,100
Sometimes for some of us growing up, God is nothing but vindication or God is, you know,

581
00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:03,020
so that makes it also more complicated.

582
00:38:03,020 --> 00:38:07,740
But think about that even if you're being taught or raised or were taught to see God

583
00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:12,860
as this angry, you know, Old Testament God who, you know, puts the whole world under

584
00:38:12,860 --> 00:38:16,260
water and Noah's ark and you know, like, yeah.

585
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:21,500
Then when you see it like that too, it, yes, it can be scary to get to that space of like,

586
00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:23,520
okay, does God really love me?

587
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,060
Because it doesn't, God doesn't feel like love to me.

588
00:38:26,060 --> 00:38:31,500
But I also want to implore you to recognize again, religion, God and spirituality, all

589
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,300
different things, all different things.

590
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,300
Yeah, absolutely.

591
00:38:34,300 --> 00:38:40,420
And you are allowed to find out who God is to you and what spirituality means to you.

592
00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:46,220
That is your right as a human being having a, or as a soul rather, having a human experience.

593
00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,220
Yeah.

594
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:48,220
That's what you're here for.

595
00:38:48,220 --> 00:38:50,900
It is to explore who you are and what you believe.

596
00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:54,580
Maybe you don't believe in anything and that brings you peace.

597
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:55,620
That's beautiful.

598
00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:58,220
Allow yourself the freedom to be in that space.

599
00:38:58,220 --> 00:39:00,340
Maybe you believe in everything.

600
00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:01,760
Then that's beautiful too.

601
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:07,340
Allow yourself to go out and believe in the trees and believe in the ocean and believe

602
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:10,260
in the, like, let yourself explore.

603
00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:12,980
But I understand that it is complicated.

604
00:39:12,980 --> 00:39:17,460
And so that's one of the reasons why I'm so grateful that in 2023, it's so much easier

605
00:39:17,460 --> 00:39:22,340
than I feel than even, you know, eight years ago, uh, which is around the time I left the

606
00:39:22,340 --> 00:39:25,820
church around eight years, seven, well, seven years ago.

607
00:39:25,820 --> 00:39:30,020
And I would definitely say that I'm like, it was so much harder than even just that

608
00:39:30,020 --> 00:39:32,300
time because I didn't have the vocabulary.

609
00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:34,140
So I didn't know even what to look for.

610
00:39:34,140 --> 00:39:35,140
Yeah.

611
00:39:35,140 --> 00:39:40,380
Now it's like, look for, you know, Instagram accounts that talk about spiritual deconstruction,

612
00:39:40,380 --> 00:39:46,580
Google these types of things, because there's entire programs and entire, um, coaches and

613
00:39:46,580 --> 00:39:53,900
fields in helping people to overcome the fear that comes with coming from inside of a, either

614
00:39:53,900 --> 00:39:57,020
a cult or a very closed.

615
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,020
Yeah.

616
00:39:58,020 --> 00:39:59,020
Yeah.

617
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:00,020
You find that freedom and peace.

618
00:40:00,020 --> 00:40:03,380
So many resources and so many people that have shared their story.

619
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:09,940
And I think as a compass within spirituality, like looking at if, if an account is starting

620
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:16,100
to sound a lot, like it's that you need to be really fearful of the actions you're doing.

621
00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:21,700
I would, I would challenge, you know, looking, looking at what that's doing, because I think

622
00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:28,900
when it starts to get so detailed in what you have to do to get X, X, Y, X, Y, and Z,

623
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:32,100
it's taking that curiosity and trust out of it.

624
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:36,780
When I think, you know, it's beautiful because I think for so many of us, like sharing our

625
00:40:36,780 --> 00:40:42,420
stories, like I've had magic happen in my life and I believe in so much because of my

626
00:40:42,420 --> 00:40:44,620
own personal experiences.

627
00:40:44,620 --> 00:40:50,340
But I do think within that, you know, there's still no guarantee that one formula will ever

628
00:40:50,340 --> 00:40:51,740
fit at all.

629
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:58,460
And I think it's important if, yeah, if something is making you have so much more fear and guilt,

630
00:40:58,460 --> 00:41:02,660
question that question where that's coming from and see if it's coming maybe from poking

631
00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:09,300
wounds inside of yourself versus if it's becoming once again, I think we're, yeah, we're rewriting

632
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:15,300
a lot of what faith and surrender and trust and curiosity looks like.

633
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:23,060
And we're still right fresh off of the biggest like religion controlled environment, especially

634
00:41:23,060 --> 00:41:27,220
here in the U S like it's capitalism, religion.

635
00:41:27,220 --> 00:41:29,300
It's so much it's yeah, it's tied in.

636
00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:30,300
It's tied in.

637
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:31,300
Yeah.

638
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:35,980
And you're, and the truth is, I love how you also had mentioned earlier about being mindful

639
00:41:35,980 --> 00:41:40,060
of even inside of the spiritual community because you're absolutely right.

640
00:41:40,060 --> 00:41:45,100
You know, I have definitely seen some, I mean, listen, there's corruption everywhere, you

641
00:41:45,100 --> 00:41:48,460
know, and so there's no, there's no perfect place.

642
00:41:48,460 --> 00:41:53,740
And I've seen inside of like, I'm a coach and I see inside of the coaching industry,

643
00:41:53,740 --> 00:41:54,740
lots of corruption.

644
00:41:54,740 --> 00:41:55,740
Yeah.

645
00:41:55,740 --> 00:41:58,380
You know, I see people who, you know, are calling themselves coaches and they're really

646
00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:02,980
just scammers, you know, and they don't care at all about your transformation.

647
00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:06,420
And so the same is true when you're definitely talking about spirituality, that if you're

648
00:42:06,420 --> 00:42:13,140
following an account and it is really honing in on this, like fear based type of marketing

649
00:42:13,140 --> 00:42:19,300
or strategy or wording, and you start to recognize that vibration happening inside of your body

650
00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:22,060
every time that you're connecting with this person.

651
00:42:22,060 --> 00:42:26,940
And like, like Jen said, like if it's not coming from a place of, well, this is about,

652
00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:32,780
you know, fear of change or fear of healing and fear, you know, the natural fear that

653
00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:36,820
we all get because we are, we also have egos that are trying to protect us.

654
00:42:36,820 --> 00:42:40,500
You know, if it's not coming from that place, but rather it's coming from this place, especially

655
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:43,540
if it's coming from a place of like, I have all the answers.

656
00:42:43,540 --> 00:42:48,880
I am the guru and you must join this month, come to my thing.

657
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:54,940
And I will show you exactly how I did that kind of languaging is no different than if

658
00:42:54,940 --> 00:42:56,620
you were inside of a religion.

659
00:42:56,620 --> 00:43:00,980
You have to be in religion to realize like it prompts the red flags.

660
00:43:00,980 --> 00:43:05,420
I think for us, it's one thing I'm thankful for, but I worry for people stepping into

661
00:43:05,420 --> 00:43:06,420
it sometimes.

662
00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:11,660
Like I see it and I can, I can feel the familiarity sometimes, you know?

663
00:43:11,660 --> 00:43:12,660
Right.

664
00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:13,660
Yeah.

665
00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:14,660
You're so right.

666
00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:17,580
Like that's the good thing about coming from that background and getting out is that we

667
00:43:17,580 --> 00:43:20,980
do recognize it pretty quickly when we're like, Oh, hold on.

668
00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:24,300
This guru seems a little bit, you know, it's close.

669
00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:25,300
It's close.

670
00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:26,700
Yeah, exactly.

671
00:43:26,700 --> 00:43:28,480
And so that's where it's like, be mindful.

672
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:32,500
If you, if you've never had this experience and you're really just listening out of curiosity

673
00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:36,940
or maybe to understand someone in your life, you know, be mindful of even the spiritualists

674
00:43:36,940 --> 00:43:41,940
out there who also have that kind of similar approach because there are so, there are so

675
00:43:41,940 --> 00:43:47,940
many people who, and sometimes they start off good, but they turn and their ego gets

676
00:43:47,940 --> 00:43:49,900
involved and that's ultimately what this is.

677
00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:54,820
I feel like a lot of times with even with religion, there's so many religions who probably

678
00:43:54,820 --> 00:44:00,500
genuinely started out truly good, truly with the intention of creating a space of peace

679
00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:08,060
for people, a space of understanding, but over time or maybe not, uh, it turned into

680
00:44:08,060 --> 00:44:09,060
something egoic.

681
00:44:09,060 --> 00:44:11,460
It's hard to denounce.

682
00:44:11,460 --> 00:44:16,140
It's hard to denounce your power and continue to humble yourself as you grow.

683
00:44:16,140 --> 00:44:17,140
It's hard as you grow.

684
00:44:17,140 --> 00:44:18,140
Yeah, it is hard.

685
00:44:18,140 --> 00:44:22,660
And that's where it's like, sometimes that happens when you get people together.

686
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:26,280
And so even inside of the spiritual community, you have to be mindful.

687
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:32,660
And especially now when the internet makes it so accessible for us to speak our truth,

688
00:44:32,660 --> 00:44:36,020
which is beautiful because it makes space for people like me and Jen to come together

689
00:44:36,020 --> 00:44:39,260
and share our stories and connect with others like us.

690
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:44,940
But it also means that there are people out there who will use the same words and manipulate

691
00:44:44,940 --> 00:44:49,780
you into losing control of yourself so that they can gain something from you, whether

692
00:44:49,780 --> 00:44:53,620
it's control of you, whether it's control of your resources.

693
00:44:53,620 --> 00:44:59,100
Like people definitely will use spirituality to also control just like they do with religion

694
00:44:59,100 --> 00:45:00,100
too.

695
00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:02,340
So it really comes down to staying.

696
00:45:02,340 --> 00:45:05,140
I feel in touch with your intuition.

697
00:45:05,140 --> 00:45:10,300
That's why your intuition is so important and finding that thing that brings you back.

698
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:15,900
And I know that we were talking about with astrology for me, that is astrology for me.

699
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:21,860
Astrology keeps me grounded in my intuition and my sense of like connection to spirit.

700
00:45:21,860 --> 00:45:25,740
I connect through the stars and I've always connected through the stars.

701
00:45:25,740 --> 00:45:30,140
I just didn't, I wasn't allowed to own that.

702
00:45:30,140 --> 00:45:35,300
So I didn't, but the older I've gotten and the more that I've walked away from being

703
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:42,940
controlled, the more I have become open about what really grounds me and how I stay in my

704
00:45:42,940 --> 00:45:43,940
power.

705
00:45:43,940 --> 00:45:49,540
And I think that's why it's so important for everyone to find what is your truth.

706
00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:54,900
Because if not, you will fall for anything that's out there that will give you an idea

707
00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:56,660
or an inkling of hope.

708
00:45:56,660 --> 00:45:59,740
And that's only because you haven't sought out the hope yourself.

709
00:45:59,740 --> 00:46:06,080
You're seeking it out now in some person's doctrine or some person who says that I have

710
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:11,060
gone to the mountain and now I know all the things, you know, like, no, you go to the

711
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:12,060
damn mountain.

712
00:46:12,060 --> 00:46:13,060
Yeah.

713
00:46:13,060 --> 00:46:17,100
And you're not looking, you're not looking for absolute answers.

714
00:46:17,100 --> 00:46:21,540
I think it's really important to remember that the journey of looking into all this

715
00:46:21,540 --> 00:46:27,020
stuff and just hearing perspective doesn't mean that you have to have this concrete black

716
00:46:27,020 --> 00:46:28,020
and white.

717
00:46:28,020 --> 00:46:31,940
I still think some of that defensiveness of feeling like we have to know exactly what

718
00:46:31,940 --> 00:46:33,580
we think and believe.

719
00:46:33,580 --> 00:46:39,780
And we're so scared to, you know, not sound right or have confusion.

720
00:46:39,780 --> 00:46:45,660
And I think for a lot of that, we just go into that research mode of wanting it to be

721
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:47,940
way more concrete than what it is.

722
00:46:47,940 --> 00:46:52,500
So just remembering that you're getting this like beautiful toolbox.

723
00:46:52,500 --> 00:46:57,080
And as you're even learning those tools, you're adapting so many skills, you're learning how

724
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,960
to listen to opposite perspective, you're learning how to hear something that you didn't

725
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,100
know about and reflecting on what it brings up in you.

726
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:10,900
All of these processes are a part of the journey, and I think it's important within all of that.

727
00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:14,160
You're allowing yourself to learn, you're allowing yourself to grow.

728
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:18,960
It's okay if some of the like outlets you end up choosing are some stuff you also let

729
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:19,960
go of.

730
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:25,940
I think a lot for me, I could tell that my religion background spewed into stuff of me

731
00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:29,820
wanting, I wanted to learn every little bit of it and not miss anything.

732
00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:33,620
And that was before I would even let myself kind of believe in it.

733
00:47:33,620 --> 00:47:37,820
There's like so much like so much obsessiveness around things.

734
00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:40,100
And it was because I was so scared to be wrong.

735
00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:46,340
I was so scared to question still, I had to do like a secret service, like investigation

736
00:47:46,340 --> 00:47:47,420
into everything.

737
00:47:47,420 --> 00:47:51,940
And then I realized that's still coming from so many patterns of not realizing that the

738
00:47:51,940 --> 00:47:57,140
journey of exploring through all of this has been the actual part that has mattered way

739
00:47:57,140 --> 00:48:04,220
more than the definite within, you know, now what I kind of subscribe to a little bit more

740
00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:10,620
now and I also very open that every time I think I'm sure about something a lot comes

741
00:48:10,620 --> 00:48:15,820
in, I am on a constant transformation journey in my birth chart.

742
00:48:15,820 --> 00:48:16,820
Right.

743
00:48:16,820 --> 00:48:17,820
I can't rest.

744
00:48:17,820 --> 00:48:18,820
I can't rest.

745
00:48:18,820 --> 00:48:21,100
And that's so true.

746
00:48:21,100 --> 00:48:27,620
I've been learning that too, that it's like life really is truly always evolving, always,

747
00:48:27,620 --> 00:48:28,620
always, always.

748
00:48:28,620 --> 00:48:32,980
So what you think you know now, you'll, you don't know what you're talking about by tomorrow.

749
00:48:32,980 --> 00:48:34,100
And that's the beauty.

750
00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:37,940
And I think when you're coming from, that's also kind of like, like you said, it's the

751
00:48:37,940 --> 00:48:43,500
remnant of religion because religion there, everything is very black and white.

752
00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:45,700
It's this or it's that it's right or it's wrong.

753
00:48:45,700 --> 00:48:49,740
It's up or it's down and nature doesn't really work like that.

754
00:48:49,740 --> 00:48:53,380
Now there are certain things that just are yes.

755
00:48:53,380 --> 00:48:59,980
And so it's this and it's that, but it's because nature's ultimate goal is just to survive,

756
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,540
to just keep going.

757
00:49:01,540 --> 00:49:04,940
It will do whatever is necessary to keep going.

758
00:49:04,940 --> 00:49:08,820
It uses whatever it needs to, to just keep going.

759
00:49:08,820 --> 00:49:14,020
So the fire that was once used to completely wipe out something now becomes the thing that

760
00:49:14,020 --> 00:49:21,620
starts a whole new ecosystem because it's just about continuing to keep going.

761
00:49:21,620 --> 00:49:26,620
And when you're talking about religion, it really comes down to following the rules.

762
00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:32,140
So therefore there has to be only this or that, but nothing in nature or the universe

763
00:49:32,140 --> 00:49:33,560
really works like that.

764
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,340
You think of like here we have gravity and it works this way, but you go to a different

765
00:49:37,340 --> 00:49:43,940
planet and there's no gravity or the gravity is way heavier or whatever it is in order

766
00:49:43,940 --> 00:49:47,660
for that planet in order to survive and do what it needs to do.

767
00:49:47,660 --> 00:49:51,740
And even then hundreds of years from now that may completely change.

768
00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:54,660
There was a time where Mars was a very active planet.

769
00:49:54,660 --> 00:49:59,700
Now it's not so much, but it was incredibly active, had all these volcanoes happening

770
00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:00,700
at one point.

771
00:50:00,700 --> 00:50:05,660
Like it was explosive, which is why we relate it to exclusive side of our birth chart, but

772
00:50:05,660 --> 00:50:07,160
now it's pretty silent.

773
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,700
And so it changes, it evolves.

774
00:50:09,700 --> 00:50:15,780
And so that's the beauty of belief is, and that's, that's one thing that I did as well.

775
00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:20,860
I, when I first left, I was trying to find the right, I first started to see if I could

776
00:50:20,860 --> 00:50:24,040
find another religion and then just couldn't do that.

777
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,980
And then I tried to find the right spiritual practice.

778
00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:28,860
And I was like, am I going to be a Buddhist?

779
00:50:28,860 --> 00:50:30,660
Am I going to do the high faith?

780
00:50:30,660 --> 00:50:34,580
Am I going to do like, I was trying to find something organized and something neat that

781
00:50:34,580 --> 00:50:36,940
I could say like, this is who I am.

782
00:50:36,940 --> 00:50:42,540
And in all the years of searching and going to different temples, and I've moved around

783
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:43,540
the country a lot.

784
00:50:43,540 --> 00:50:49,420
So I've gone to a lot of different practices and faiths and things like that.

785
00:50:49,420 --> 00:50:54,620
The one thing that I realized was every time I thought I knew something, I just didn't,

786
00:50:54,620 --> 00:50:57,940
I didn't, you know, it would change, it would evolve.

787
00:50:57,940 --> 00:51:02,220
And that's when I started to recognize like this, this really is life school.

788
00:51:02,220 --> 00:51:08,820
So part of school is just that constant state of learning with what you know.

789
00:51:08,820 --> 00:51:10,740
And that's the beautiful part of it.

790
00:51:10,740 --> 00:51:15,380
It's the part of journeying, journeying through this, not getting straight to the desk.

791
00:51:15,380 --> 00:51:16,380
Yeah.

792
00:51:16,380 --> 00:51:18,300
And you didn't waste your time in all those spaces.

793
00:51:18,300 --> 00:51:23,420
So much of that was either reflecting something deeper inside of you or teaching you other

794
00:51:23,420 --> 00:51:24,420
perspective.

795
00:51:24,420 --> 00:51:25,420
And that is it.

796
00:51:25,420 --> 00:51:26,420
Yeah.

797
00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:27,420
The learning.

798
00:51:27,420 --> 00:51:28,420
That is it.

799
00:51:28,420 --> 00:51:34,140
And I think that for me, it made me realize like, I really, really love difference.

800
00:51:34,140 --> 00:51:36,700
I love difference and I love diversity.

801
00:51:36,700 --> 00:51:39,100
I love just meeting different.

802
00:51:39,100 --> 00:51:43,700
And what's interesting is like, especially when you're talking about like indigenous

803
00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:48,500
practices, or you're talking about nature, it's also tied.

804
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:56,100
It's so much more, you'll find much more links amongst different indigenous practices across

805
00:51:56,100 --> 00:52:00,900
the world, whether it's African or whether it's here in North America or in South America

806
00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:02,460
or in the Caribbean.

807
00:52:02,460 --> 00:52:06,300
And yet obviously, when we're talking about those types of practices, it wasn't like back

808
00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:09,180
then they were on the internet being like, Hey, what do you guys do when you want to

809
00:52:09,180 --> 00:52:10,980
connect to, you know, goddess Kali?

810
00:52:10,980 --> 00:52:11,980
You know what I mean?

811
00:52:11,980 --> 00:52:12,980
Like they're not doing that.

812
00:52:12,980 --> 00:52:17,420
So yet the fact that even though they had no means to really get these types of things

813
00:52:17,420 --> 00:52:22,740
out there, these practices out there, and yet they all have very similar ways to connect

814
00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:29,380
to the other side, realize like the difference is the beautiful part of it.

815
00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:34,620
It's this desire to connect with something else and that we're all in this quest to find

816
00:52:34,620 --> 00:52:41,700
it by in, in that finding, that's the beautiful part of it that so you miss out so much when

817
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:48,900
you just try to put yourself in one particular faith or in one particular religion, you miss

818
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:55,140
out so much on the beauty that comes with exposing yourself to difference.

819
00:52:55,140 --> 00:52:59,460
It's literally like, I look at it like astrology, like Saturn is supposed to be Saturn.

820
00:52:59,460 --> 00:53:03,980
I wouldn't like it if like Mars was like, Hey, I want to also be Saturn.

821
00:53:03,980 --> 00:53:05,860
It would ruin our entire galaxy.

822
00:53:05,860 --> 00:53:09,740
So like, say Mars and Saturn to say Saturn.

823
00:53:09,740 --> 00:53:10,740
Yeah.

824
00:53:10,740 --> 00:53:15,500
And yeah, I want to, I want to link that right into astrology because you know, there's all

825
00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:18,980
these archetypes within all of the different signs.

826
00:53:18,980 --> 00:53:23,580
And I think, you know, I think it's beautiful because astrology is kind of this big data

827
00:53:23,580 --> 00:53:29,020
collection and the spoken word and this refinement that has happened through so many cultures,

828
00:53:29,020 --> 00:53:30,300
so many histories.

829
00:53:30,300 --> 00:53:35,780
It's like, it's so, you can get so nerdy and it's so beautiful, but I think the important

830
00:53:35,780 --> 00:53:41,460
part is yeah, we're coloring in a lot of what things look like in so many ways.

831
00:53:41,460 --> 00:53:46,780
And I think in astrology, you realize that we create this really cool puzzle piece.

832
00:53:46,780 --> 00:53:51,300
I was thinking of it when you were talking about nature and the fire, when you see that

833
00:53:51,300 --> 00:53:55,960
all the elements exist in us in different ways, that blueprint, that moment we take

834
00:53:55,960 --> 00:54:01,940
our first breath, just what was happening in the sky, kind of being this energetic blueprint

835
00:54:01,940 --> 00:54:07,220
for us, all of these elements, like we fit each other so well.

836
00:54:07,220 --> 00:54:12,720
So as you know, as unique, every single person's birth chart is its own.

837
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:17,940
It's so unique and there's so much you can like look into within a birth chart, but it

838
00:54:17,940 --> 00:54:22,860
also shows our connectivity together because the people that are lacking fire in their

839
00:54:22,860 --> 00:54:28,900
birth chart, like then you get to go out and seek like this, this balance and stuff outside

840
00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:29,900
of you.

841
00:54:29,900 --> 00:54:34,500
There's charts that call for you to have this pairing and then there's charts where, you

842
00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:38,220
know, you have like so many things going in so many different directions.

843
00:54:38,220 --> 00:54:42,540
And then just the way things fit, the way things fit within families, the way things

844
00:54:42,540 --> 00:54:48,020
fit within society, the way we have personal planets that are unique to us and that we

845
00:54:48,020 --> 00:54:53,940
have generational planets, all the biggest thing I am so into astrology, I will continuously

846
00:54:53,940 --> 00:54:56,180
like love to learn from it.

847
00:54:56,180 --> 00:55:01,660
But I think the big takeaway for me is the connectivity of all of us and how we need

848
00:55:01,660 --> 00:55:08,980
each other in so many ways to, yeah, it shows what we're all meant to be working through

849
00:55:08,980 --> 00:55:13,420
together and it helps kind of depersonalize things for me.

850
00:55:13,420 --> 00:55:20,540
But I also loved it because of that very reason that it's lumping us into something together

851
00:55:20,540 --> 00:55:26,320
and we all, I think, are starting to wake up to how much we need that sense of community

852
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:31,520
and how to step into what our own intuitive strengths are and we're making more space

853
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,520
for that.

854
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:38,520
But the astrology even of the collective going on, the generational stuff that's happening

855
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:45,380
right now, it's so pointing to a rebirth and it's incredible.

856
00:55:45,380 --> 00:55:49,580
Yeah, share some of your astrology thoughts with us.

857
00:55:49,580 --> 00:55:50,580
Oh yeah, yeah, totally.

858
00:55:50,580 --> 00:55:57,340
Because you think about it, it's like, for those who are like, what is personal and generational?

859
00:55:57,340 --> 00:56:03,820
But it's like your personal planets are the planets that really influence your behavior

860
00:56:03,820 --> 00:56:09,060
and so those would be like your sun, your moon, what sign was rising at the time of

861
00:56:09,060 --> 00:56:11,660
your birth, your Mercury, your Mars.

862
00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:16,740
But then when you start to get into like Neptune and Uranus or wait, Uranus, because if you

863
00:56:16,740 --> 00:56:22,260
say Uranus, then it sounds bad, Uranus and then Pluto.

864
00:56:22,260 --> 00:56:27,180
These are the planets that will stay in a particular sign for like 10, 20 years sometimes.

865
00:56:27,180 --> 00:56:29,580
And so they influence an entire generation.

866
00:56:29,580 --> 00:56:35,460
Now when you said the generation thing, I love that because it is so clear that we are

867
00:56:35,460 --> 00:56:41,560
totally moving towards a rebirth, having the fact that for millennials, most millennials

868
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:43,820
have their Pluto and Scorpio.

869
00:56:43,820 --> 00:56:49,620
And so that Scorpio energy really is about bringing the death and the destruction in

870
00:56:49,620 --> 00:56:51,620
order for something else to be birthed.

871
00:56:51,620 --> 00:56:55,620
Revealing all secrets, no, nothing left unturned.

872
00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:57,860
We don't even care if you died, we're going to bring up your secrets.

873
00:56:57,860 --> 00:57:01,320
Right, we're going to bring it out of the dark and we're going to bring it to light.

874
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:02,320
That is Pluto and Scorpio.

875
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:07,000
And if you identify any millennial in your life, you know that that's very much generationally

876
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,440
how we do things.

877
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:13,660
And then you have that next generation, which Gen Z, they're really the Pluto and Sagittarius.

878
00:57:13,660 --> 00:57:18,540
And we see that in the fact that they are much more wild and they love colors and they're

879
00:57:18,540 --> 00:57:20,620
just like all about true self-expression.

880
00:57:20,620 --> 00:57:23,900
No rules, no mensing it.

881
00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:24,900
Yeah.

882
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:26,180
And not exactly no mensing it.

883
00:57:26,180 --> 00:57:30,260
And at the same time, they still require a deep level of accountability because that

884
00:57:30,260 --> 00:57:32,460
is what the Sagittarius is all about.

885
00:57:32,460 --> 00:57:37,840
Sagittarius loves a good time, but also really loves higher learning and telling the truth.

886
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:44,140
And now we have these kids who Pluto is about to transition out of Capricorn now, and it's

887
00:57:44,140 --> 00:57:46,420
about to go into Aquarius.

888
00:57:46,420 --> 00:57:51,260
But these kids that we have that were born now, they're born with Pluto and Capricorn.

889
00:57:51,260 --> 00:57:57,260
And the beautiful part about the Capricorn generation is they're all about, it's an earth

890
00:57:57,260 --> 00:57:58,260
sign.

891
00:57:58,260 --> 00:58:01,140
It's about laying the foundation for something new.

892
00:58:01,140 --> 00:58:06,340
And so they really, after we have gone through these experiences as the millennials and the

893
00:58:06,340 --> 00:58:12,140
Gen Zs, holding these people accountable, destroying the governments that have continued,

894
00:58:12,140 --> 00:58:14,500
including religion and things like that.

895
00:58:14,500 --> 00:58:15,500
Yeah.

896
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:16,500
So on brand first.

897
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:17,500
Right.

898
00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:18,500
Exactly.

899
00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:19,500
Right.

900
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:20,500
Yeah.

901
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,500
That sort of thing.

902
00:58:21,500 --> 00:58:25,060
Now you have that Gen Alpha coming in, that Pluto and Capricorn generation that will

903
00:58:25,060 --> 00:58:31,780
come in to say, what is the new thing that we will start to create for safe spaces for

904
00:58:31,780 --> 00:58:33,060
our community?

905
00:58:33,060 --> 00:58:36,640
That's going to be kind of the work on the Gen Alpha generation.

906
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:42,940
And I'm very excited to see how, what they take from all of the generations before them

907
00:58:42,940 --> 00:58:44,460
and how they turn it.

908
00:58:44,460 --> 00:58:48,540
Because the reason why things are in such a state of turmoil is just because we are

909
00:58:48,540 --> 00:58:54,620
in these very challenging placements, especially with Pluto, that impact when you're, especially

910
00:58:54,620 --> 00:58:57,220
when you're talking about religion and government.

911
00:58:57,220 --> 00:58:59,940
And that is also kind of ruled by Pluto.

912
00:58:59,940 --> 00:59:03,660
And interestingly enough, also a little bit of religion is controlled by Sagittarius.

913
00:59:03,660 --> 00:59:09,940
So there's no question as to why are so many people leaving religion?

914
00:59:09,940 --> 00:59:11,700
Why are they questioning religion?

915
00:59:11,700 --> 00:59:16,240
Yes, because we are that Pluto and Scorpio, that Pluto and Sagittarius generation who

916
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,900
was meant to tear down these things.

917
00:59:18,900 --> 00:59:25,220
So the next generation can start to create and build something more whole, more beautiful

918
00:59:25,220 --> 00:59:28,860
and safe for those to express themselves.

919
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:33,140
Yeah, and then we got Pluto going into Aquarius, which...

920
00:59:33,140 --> 00:59:37,580
I really am very interested with the Pluto and Aquarius generation.

921
00:59:37,580 --> 00:59:43,580
It's going to be like every single uniqueness is I feel like finally going to have room

922
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:44,580
to breathe.

923
00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:45,580
Yes.

924
00:59:45,580 --> 00:59:46,580
There's so many things.

925
00:59:46,580 --> 00:59:48,860
And Aquarius is about community too.

926
00:59:48,860 --> 00:59:54,300
So I'm interested to know like with Gen Alpha coming in and creating a new foundation, with

927
00:59:54,300 --> 01:00:00,620
the Pluto and Aquarius generation, I'm wondering with the uniqueness and the differences, how

928
01:00:00,620 --> 01:00:05,740
exactly they will also pull together for that purpose of community because they care so

929
01:00:05,740 --> 01:00:06,800
much about that too.

930
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:11,380
So I'm very interested to know like, man, what is the world going to look like by that

931
01:00:11,380 --> 01:00:12,860
time we'll be really, really old.

932
01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:17,740
Yeah, we're going to be in our 60s after this next Pluto transit.

933
01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:18,740
Wow.

934
01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:26,100
So I'm interested to watch and see like, what do they do and how do they change the world

935
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:32,140
with that, especially as it relates to religion and just organized groups when it comes to

936
01:00:32,140 --> 01:00:33,140
spiritual practices.

937
01:00:33,140 --> 01:00:35,100
Yeah, we're not going to be the same.

938
01:00:35,100 --> 01:00:36,100
Absolutely.

939
01:00:36,100 --> 01:00:37,100
No, we're totally not.

940
01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:38,100
And I'm excited about it.

941
01:00:38,100 --> 01:00:39,100
So fucking excited.

942
01:00:39,100 --> 01:00:40,100
I love it.

943
01:00:40,100 --> 01:00:48,420
And yeah, just as a final thought, so I was going to share too, you know, for me having

944
01:00:48,420 --> 01:00:56,540
my birth chart and knowing some of the astrology, I really use it as a tool now not to get like

945
01:00:56,540 --> 01:00:59,420
overly anxious and look into what's coming.

946
01:00:59,420 --> 01:01:02,900
It's more of this like ability to co-create with the universe.

947
01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:06,300
I know what's going on above me in the sky.

948
01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:12,020
And then I know how to like, then get curious, like, oh, that's really beautiful that that

949
01:01:12,020 --> 01:01:17,380
is what, you know, I'm writing what this energy looks like in so many ways, but it makes me

950
01:01:17,380 --> 01:01:22,860
just move through things with this like smile, even when it's really hard, because it gives

951
01:01:22,860 --> 01:01:25,140
me this ability to zoom out.

952
01:01:25,140 --> 01:01:31,820
And my first birth chart reading had me in tears because I just felt like it was so beautiful

953
01:01:31,820 --> 01:01:39,180
to see how I had already, you know, I already had done so much of what my birth charts like,

954
01:01:39,180 --> 01:01:45,460
you know, overall meaning was, but it also showed that I was doing, I was living exactly

955
01:01:45,460 --> 01:01:46,460
as I should.

956
01:01:46,460 --> 01:01:52,300
And I think just feeling that sense of release was so beautiful.

957
01:01:52,300 --> 01:01:57,380
And then at that point, I realized we're all just these unique souls and there's really,

958
01:01:57,380 --> 01:02:00,580
we can be so harsh on each other for our differences.

959
01:02:00,580 --> 01:02:06,780
But when you see it as this like little puzzle piece to the soul, I think it's so sweet to

960
01:02:06,780 --> 01:02:11,700
know everyone's kind of figuring out their own little, their own little mystery of their

961
01:02:11,700 --> 01:02:14,260
relationship to body and soul.

962
01:02:14,260 --> 01:02:19,260
And we're all just here to like really just be curious about each other's stories.

963
01:02:19,260 --> 01:02:24,300
And so I would love to hear for you just to share what the birth chart has done for you

964
01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:26,980
and just a few of the pointers around that too.

965
01:02:26,980 --> 01:02:29,140
Yeah, honestly, it's very similar.

966
01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:32,660
When I first started, when I got my first birth chart, I was same.

967
01:02:32,660 --> 01:02:33,860
I was emotional.

968
01:02:33,860 --> 01:02:40,340
I was so like, oh my goodness, like this, I felt so seen and so validated, like I'm

969
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,340
not crazy.

970
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:45,220
This is actually like I was supposed to operate like that.

971
01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:50,860
And it also helped me to validate a lot of the painful experiences that I had.

972
01:02:50,860 --> 01:02:57,140
Because then once I started to see that it was in the chart, I was like, oh, okay, okay.

973
01:02:57,140 --> 01:03:00,000
So there was something there for me to gain.

974
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:05,720
And so that helped me to, especially around religion, I have actually a lot of like Sagittarius

975
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,740
placements and religion can be impacted by that.

976
01:03:08,740 --> 01:03:11,340
So I was definitely meant to like learn a lot of that.

977
01:03:11,340 --> 01:03:15,320
And then I have Chiron in my fifth house.

978
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:19,580
And so that relates a lot to my childhood and that explains a lot of the things that

979
01:03:19,580 --> 01:03:20,580
I experienced.

980
01:03:20,580 --> 01:03:23,100
I have Chiron on top of my moon.

981
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:25,100
Isn't that not fair?

982
01:03:25,100 --> 01:03:28,500
Oh my God is so I'm so sorry, girl.

983
01:03:28,500 --> 01:03:30,500
I'm so sorry.

984
01:03:30,500 --> 01:03:36,260
Every single thing that that I feel has to be tied into this deep pain that I have to

985
01:03:36,260 --> 01:03:39,820
use to help, but it's so everything is so deep.

986
01:03:39,820 --> 01:03:40,820
Oh my God.

987
01:03:40,820 --> 01:03:41,820
Oh my goodness, girl.

988
01:03:41,820 --> 01:03:42,820
My heart goes out to you.

989
01:03:42,820 --> 01:03:45,820
I have to like send you a fruit basket because that is turning.

990
01:03:45,820 --> 01:03:49,340
I'm sending you prayers girl, because that is tough.

991
01:03:49,340 --> 01:03:53,900
But that's where it's like, you're like, yeah, the beauty is when you know that placement,

992
01:03:53,900 --> 01:03:59,060
it changes every difficulty that you have to go through because all of a sudden it's

993
01:03:59,060 --> 01:04:00,920
like, okay, what's the lesson here?

994
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,100
How is this meant to serve me?

995
01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:03,740
How is this meant to heal me?

996
01:04:03,740 --> 01:04:07,940
And that's something that definitely happened for me in having my birth chart.

997
01:04:07,940 --> 01:04:15,260
And originally when I first started like doing birth charts, I really lent myself to like,

998
01:04:15,260 --> 01:04:16,700
how can I use this to get stuff?

999
01:04:16,700 --> 01:04:19,940
You know, and that's the very Capricorn nature of me.

1000
01:04:19,940 --> 01:04:23,400
So I was like, okay, how can I get stuff?

1001
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,860
You know, and it works that way too.

1002
01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:31,420
But I'm like you too, where I've started to evolve more into, I just want to understand,

1003
01:04:31,420 --> 01:04:36,180
you know, and I really just want to work with the universe so that we now, like for example,

1004
01:04:36,180 --> 01:04:41,220
oh, this helps me so much a lot of times when I struggle with like, which I'm not saying

1005
01:04:41,220 --> 01:04:44,740
that if you have mental health issues, do not get help because you still need to get

1006
01:04:44,740 --> 01:04:45,740
help.

1007
01:04:45,740 --> 01:04:48,820
But there were times where, you know, I really struggled with like depression.

1008
01:04:48,820 --> 01:04:53,340
I struggle with depression and anxiety often, which many people are kind of shocked by,

1009
01:04:53,340 --> 01:04:54,980
but I do.

1010
01:04:54,980 --> 01:05:02,780
And I have really appreciated astrology in those moments along with my meds, but I appreciate

1011
01:05:02,780 --> 01:05:09,700
astrology because I am able to look at like, oh, okay, wow, I'm really feeling like really

1012
01:05:09,700 --> 01:05:11,080
empty right now.

1013
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:15,700
And then I'll see where the moon is and I'll see in relations to my chart, what is that

1014
01:05:15,700 --> 01:05:16,700
activating?

1015
01:05:16,700 --> 01:05:22,900
And then a lot of times when I'm going through those periods of a really down time, it is

1016
01:05:22,900 --> 01:05:28,500
so tied and connected to my birth chart and the current astrology.

1017
01:05:28,500 --> 01:05:34,500
And by having that, it empowers me because now instead of feeling like, oh, I'm hopeless.

1018
01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,740
Like I'll never get out of this feeling.

1019
01:05:35,740 --> 01:05:39,940
Cause we all know if you've been depressed, even if you've been depressed a million times

1020
01:05:39,940 --> 01:05:46,780
and you feel so permanent, yeah, so permanent every fricking time, you know, but astrology

1021
01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:52,040
has helped me so much because when I'm in the lowest of low moments by myself and I'm

1022
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:56,300
having those dark nights that you know, you would probably never tell anyone about when

1023
01:05:56,300 --> 01:06:02,940
I go and I open up my astrology programs and I look and I read and I see something that

1024
01:06:02,940 --> 01:06:05,440
validates my experience.

1025
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:11,060
It gives me so much peace to know that I'm going to be okay, that this is supposed to

1026
01:06:11,060 --> 01:06:12,060
happen.

1027
01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:14,180
And then I start asking that question.

1028
01:06:14,180 --> 01:06:16,560
Well, what is this here for?

1029
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:18,180
What is this here to teach me?

1030
01:06:18,180 --> 01:06:22,980
Or sometimes it's just to allow me to feel something because so many times we are just

1031
01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:29,940
racing through life that we never give ourselves time to grieve or to wallow or to just feel

1032
01:06:29,940 --> 01:06:32,220
without feeling like, and we have gender.

1033
01:06:32,220 --> 01:06:33,220
Yeah.

1034
01:06:33,220 --> 01:06:38,140
We have a terrible relationship to the shadow, like thinking that the shadow is then bad

1035
01:06:38,140 --> 01:06:43,940
when sometimes the stars are wanting you to sit in a different energy, just to learn to

1036
01:06:43,940 --> 01:06:48,140
the more you learn how to sit with different energies and yourself, you can sit with different

1037
01:06:48,140 --> 01:06:50,340
energies with people around you.

1038
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,340
It's a piece of it.

1039
01:06:52,340 --> 01:06:58,300
And that's also like even within yourself, it's like sometimes you're meant to feel something

1040
01:06:58,300 --> 01:07:01,940
with no agenda other than to let it pass through you.

1041
01:07:01,940 --> 01:07:02,940
That's it.

1042
01:07:02,940 --> 01:07:05,300
And the lesson is simply that.

1043
01:07:05,300 --> 01:07:09,500
And if you are constantly looking at, and this is crazy coming from a Capricorn because

1044
01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:15,860
I'm so goal oriented, but I have learned that sometimes it's literally just about feeling

1045
01:07:15,860 --> 01:07:17,180
the wave.

1046
01:07:17,180 --> 01:07:18,180
That's it.

1047
01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:23,860
And because of the fact that we have grown so accustomed to everything must serve some

1048
01:07:23,860 --> 01:07:25,860
greater thing.

1049
01:07:25,860 --> 01:07:31,820
Sometimes we push past what needs to be felt and needs to be observed in order to go to

1050
01:07:31,820 --> 01:07:35,300
something else that won't quote unquote waste our time.

1051
01:07:35,300 --> 01:07:41,420
When you are allowing yourself to let the moon, to let the retrogrades, to let certain

1052
01:07:41,420 --> 01:07:45,020
aspects really impact you.

1053
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:49,060
Basically what's happening is, for example, if you're talking about a Mercury and retrograde,

1054
01:07:49,060 --> 01:07:53,340
that could be a time, depending on where it's placed and what it's impacting in your chart.

1055
01:07:53,340 --> 01:07:58,500
It could be a time that Mercury itself is literally saying, I want to hold space for

1056
01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:00,340
your communication.

1057
01:08:00,340 --> 01:08:07,940
I want to hold space for the way you think and just let that be and without any judgment

1058
01:08:07,940 --> 01:08:10,300
towards it and allow it to come up.

1059
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:16,580
And when you let yourself feel that a lot of times it's accepting what is not with any

1060
01:08:16,580 --> 01:08:21,220
purpose to get past it, to do this, but just accept what is, this is the way I think, this

1061
01:08:21,220 --> 01:08:25,300
is the way I speak, this is the way I connect to people outside of me.

1062
01:08:25,300 --> 01:08:33,420
And sometimes in doing that, that brings the healing that without doing causes such turmoil

1063
01:08:33,420 --> 01:08:34,420
inside.

1064
01:08:34,420 --> 01:08:41,140
So for me, that has been a huge benefit of astrology is that it has given me the courage

1065
01:08:41,140 --> 01:08:47,980
to sit with the uncomfortable emotions without fearing that if I sit in it too long, it means

1066
01:08:47,980 --> 01:08:49,820
that I'll get lost.

1067
01:08:49,820 --> 01:08:54,380
I now know that I'm like, no, the moon is only going to be here for two and a half days.

1068
01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:55,860
So what is this here to teach you?

1069
01:08:55,860 --> 01:08:58,500
Mercury is only going to be here for three weeks.

1070
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,020
So what am I here to get?

1071
01:09:00,020 --> 01:09:01,620
What am I here to release?

1072
01:09:01,620 --> 01:09:02,620
What am I here?

1073
01:09:02,620 --> 01:09:03,620
You know what I'm saying?

1074
01:09:03,620 --> 01:09:04,620
It's so, so well said.

1075
01:09:04,620 --> 01:09:05,620
Yeah.

1076
01:09:05,620 --> 01:09:06,620
Beautiful.

1077
01:09:06,620 --> 01:09:07,620
Beautiful.

1078
01:09:07,620 --> 01:09:12,260
It's so, so, so like magical in the end.

1079
01:09:12,260 --> 01:09:13,260
I love it.

1080
01:09:13,260 --> 01:09:14,260
It really is.

1081
01:09:14,260 --> 01:09:15,260
Yeah.

1082
01:09:15,260 --> 01:09:18,340
Well, Lexi, this talk has been absolutely incredible.

1083
01:09:18,340 --> 01:09:24,220
I would love for you to share ways that our listeners can support you and find you on

1084
01:09:24,220 --> 01:09:25,220
social media.

1085
01:09:25,220 --> 01:09:26,220
Yes.

1086
01:09:26,220 --> 01:09:27,780
Well, thank you so much for having me.

1087
01:09:27,780 --> 01:09:28,780
I really appreciate it.

1088
01:09:28,780 --> 01:09:32,940
And I appreciate all of you guys just for tuning in and listening.

1089
01:09:32,940 --> 01:09:36,580
And I really hope that you guys got a lot of good nuggets and just permission to feel

1090
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:38,780
your feelings and be yourself.

1091
01:09:38,780 --> 01:09:45,460
And you can find me on Instagram and on TikTok at the Lexi Wilson and that's T H E L E X

1092
01:09:45,460 --> 01:09:49,700
I E do not forget the E, um, Wilson.

1093
01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:50,860
And yeah, I'm mainly there.

1094
01:09:50,860 --> 01:09:55,380
I also have my website that I'm recreating right now, which is pretty awesome.

1095
01:09:55,380 --> 01:09:56,380
Um, yeah.

1096
01:09:56,380 --> 01:09:58,460
So I'm going to kind of return to blogging.

1097
01:09:58,460 --> 01:10:01,460
Um, and I really have been enjoying that.

1098
01:10:01,460 --> 01:10:04,540
I have a lot of stuff going on in my writing house right now.

1099
01:10:04,540 --> 01:10:08,340
So that probably is what's going on for me, but, um, I've been really being called to

1100
01:10:08,340 --> 01:10:09,340
write.

1101
01:10:09,340 --> 01:10:15,220
So the Lexi Wilson.com is also where you can find videos and blogs and everything you need

1102
01:10:15,220 --> 01:10:17,620
to work with me or to just stay in touch.

1103
01:10:17,620 --> 01:10:18,780
And I am in San Diego.

1104
01:10:18,780 --> 01:10:22,580
So find me on Instagram so that way you can come to the events that I go to.

1105
01:10:22,580 --> 01:10:27,340
Cause I do do readings locally now and I'm really loving doing that.

1106
01:10:27,340 --> 01:10:28,340
Yeah.

1107
01:10:28,340 --> 01:10:29,340
It's been so fun.

1108
01:10:29,340 --> 01:10:31,340
So come on down to San Diego.

1109
01:10:31,340 --> 01:10:33,380
Amazing Lexi.

1110
01:10:33,380 --> 01:10:38,140
Thank you for sharing your heart and thank you for sharing the vulnerable parts as well.

1111
01:10:38,140 --> 01:10:44,220
Your story is, um, yeah, it's, it's absolutely beautiful to hear like what you have turned

1112
01:10:44,220 --> 01:10:49,540
your story into and taken both the shadow and the light and combine them so beautifully.

1113
01:10:49,540 --> 01:10:53,780
I am so thankful for you and thanks to everyone for listening.

1114
01:10:53,780 --> 01:10:55,780
We will see you next episode.

1115
01:10:55,780 --> 01:10:56,780
Bye.

1116
01:10:56,780 --> 01:10:57,780
Bye.

1117
01:10:57,780 --> 01:11:03,780
Bye.