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Hello everyone and welcome to the Awaken Together podcast.

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I'm Jen.

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And I'm Kat.

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And today we are going to be sharing the art of holding space and talking about cord cutting.

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And we're going to give you a meditation to have your own cord cutting ceremony.

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Yeah, we're excited about this one.

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We're just talking through a couple aspects of these topics and we were just so much to

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say both on our own experiences and things that we thought that you, our listeners, would

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be interested in hearing too.

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Yeah.

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So let's start with talking about holding space.

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And I will share my take on this Kat.

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And then I'd love to hear kind of where your head goes when you think of holding space.

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But holding space for me was like, I had no, this was a practice that I did not get any

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kind of example of growing up.

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And I really wasn't introduced to that kind of concept until I was in the yoga world,

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to be honest.

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Same sister.

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Yeah.

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No communication in my household that was really appropriate and what it needed to be.

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So holding space is really about learning to sit with someone who is sharing an emotion

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or a story with you, like really stepping into vulnerability and being able to just

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be in that space with them without having to make it about you, without having to necessarily

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offer advice and not, yeah, really not absorbing their energy, just being able to take it without

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it being so triggering for yourself.

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And so a few things to share from my take is I think I had to learn how to face a lot

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of my own shit before I could even sit in spaces with other people that were suffering

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with different things, because it was hard when every time someone would share something

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heavy because I kind of have an empathic connection to most people.

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I really, I could feel it so deeply and because it bubbled stuff up for me and I didn't know

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how to like really hold a wall in my own energy, I just think it would be really hard and I'd

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avoid it.

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And when someone got too deep, I would be like, oh, I'm sorry.

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And just like, you know, kind of not really know what to say, not really know what is

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appropriate.

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And so this has changed with the context of yoga, because a lot of times at different

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workshops and events that even me and Kat have done, we'll have people sit across from

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each other and practice just looking into each other's eyes, taking turns sharing and

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really having the other person just be a mirror for you without having to change their body

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language or nod and shake their head yes or no to like give you that validation.

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It's just sitting with people.

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And one other thing I want to share so I don't forget on holding space is I think because

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of my neurodivergences and the fact that I'm on the spectrum, I think I really struggle

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sometimes with knowing what people need from me in conversation.

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And so I've really had to get good at asking the questions for when holding space is appropriate.

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Like, are you wanting me just to be here?

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Is this a context where you're looking for advice, you know, and just asking those questions

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because the boundaries aren't always clear.

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Is this like a holding space time?

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And I do think sometimes people do admire the fact that you can talk something out with

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them, but this is just little pieces of what I have had to learn for holding space.

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What about you, Kat?

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I'm so happy you said that because I mean, I, I'm not I don't know if I'm neurodivergent.

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I mean, I definitely have some sensory things, but I feel the same way.

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It's not totally clear to everybody.

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To anyone really, when somebody wants you to just listen and be there for them and hold

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space or if they want advice and so asking like the only person that knows is them because

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they're in their own mind and and we just can't read their minds.

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Right.

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And so I think asking is the best way to do it.

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And it's something that Kyle and I have gotten in the practice of.

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Honestly, he's better at remembering to do that than I am.

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Same, same, same, same, same, same.

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Yeah, our guys.

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They're good listeners.

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They sure are.

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I go into fix it mode a lot of the time with him, and that's been my practice is not just

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looking for solutions because that's what I was taught, but rather just like sitting

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there and holding space and sharing like a loving presence, looking them in the eye,

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showing that I'm listening and that I care with my body language, facing Kyle or whoever

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I'm holding space for with my shoulders, having like a soft expression on my face, not looking

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at my phone, just like being there fully present with them.

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And yeah, with that, sometimes, like you said, to being an empath, it can be really easy

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to absorb that and to to go down in the pits with them, which might be necessary to go

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down with them.

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But that's not to say that you have to take everything on.

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And I think that's the other part of the practice is how do we put that energetic field up to

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block that to protect us a little bit so that we don't just take what's coming at us and

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let it affect the rest of our day?

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Right?

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Yeah.

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My like thing that I always keep in my head, especially when I'm engaging in conversation,

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that's going deeper and we're facing some stuff either individually or together.

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I just really believe and I've said this on the podcast before, but where we put our attention

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is where we send our energy.

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And for me, if I that that picture is very helpful that when I'm focusing on something,

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I'm sending a line of energy to it.

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But whenever I need to call my energy back to me, I have to tune in and words.

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I have to think of what my body's doing and how like focusing on my breath even.

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How am I breathing as I'm sitting here?

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What sensations am I picking up in my body when I am here?

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And that automatically, I feel like usually calls kind of the we're going to take it into

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cutting the cord and looking at cords, but that calls my energy back.

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And so instead of drawing a line, it brings me back in.

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And when I'm holding space for people, first of all, when I stop, I really had to I think

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I had to learn the life lesson that like people's problems has nothing to do with me.

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And even though, you know, especially in close friendships where navigating maybe some form

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of life together.

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It's very good for both parties to be heard, not every single person's emotional reality

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needs my full take sometimes just being able to vent and be able to do that less alone

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is like a night and day difference and feels so good.

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And when people were offering that to me in a more conscious space and yoga, I think I

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really started understanding that that was something I wasn't really offering a whole

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lot of people.

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I mean, it felt really good to be able to have someone receive what I'm saying without

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having to change it or, yeah, expand on it just to listen.

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Yeah, definitely.

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And so when we want to be practicing some of this cord cutting and just setting our

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own boundaries energetically, that's that can happen either like from a normal conversation

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of holding space.

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Sometimes, you know, we might notice that we are feeling a little bit different after

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the conversation and that's it.

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That's not to say that you did anything wrong or that you were too weak and your field didn't

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go up, showing yourself some compassion there.

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But it can be a really nice exercise in practicing this.

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So to talk a little bit more about energetic ties, we've been mentioning this, but when

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you have a relationship with a person or a place and there have been a lot of emotions,

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a lot of feelings, a lot of like experiences that tie you to them, that's when this energetic

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cord connects you to them or this place.

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It can be a thing as well, like an object.

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So it's not to just say this is strictly reserved for people.

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It's also these deeper layers are really common in romantic relationships too.

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And some of the benefits that you might experience after you break these ties are just like a

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lighter feeling in your body, experiencing more energy, a zest for life that maybe you

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had felt a little bit dulled down for a bit.

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I've also heard of people waking up more easily in the mornings when, let's say, they would

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be waking up pretty groggy for a while.

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So it's just like a heaviness with these cords and you can even picture a cord, like a black

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cord connecting you to someone that's like dead or stale or even gray and hairy.

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I think visualizing these cords can put some more meaning into it and help us just understand

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that connection that we still have with someone who maybe is no longer serving us.

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And that's not to say that it's right to vilify these people.

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I think it's all too easy to say like, oh, there's this negative person that I'm attached

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to.

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Maybe they're just not in the same place as you right now.

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So rather than victimizing yourself, villainizing them, cutting the cord and just letting yourselves

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be separately and understanding that maybe what once did serve you, both of you, it doesn't

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have to be the same.

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Yeah.

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Perfectly said.

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And I think when we are doing any form of cord cutting, whether that be a meditation,

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we're going to share like how to do it with candles is like a ritual.

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But regardless of what form it takes, it's not meaning to say that that person will never

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be in your life again or you're never going to go to that place again.

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It's really just kind of a cleansing reset to really reflect on maybe how much energy

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you're putting towards that.

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And I wanted to share just my personal experience with cord cutting.

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I think for me, I have shared, I had a huge and this has been coming up in my life at

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this point, just kind of reflecting on some of this too, because I can see my growth in

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it.

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So it's kind of been fun to sit with in journal, but I had a huge issue with codependency,

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which just means that I would put other people ahead of me all the time.

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It was kind of like an addiction versus I was never the type that was very addicted

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to substances.

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I used to brag that I didn't have an addictive personality when in reality I was so addicted

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to giving people advice, dealing with people's lives for them.

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I would take someone's life and love to be in charge of every single component.

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I went far, which is the peak problem of creating an energetic cord for real.

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And I had some friendships for sure that I just like, it was all consuming in my thoughts.

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When I thought of it as an addiction, it was really that serious.

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I would think about someone all the freaking time and I really do deeply love and get attached

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to people very easily.

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So it's really important for me to have these kinds of practices.

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But I think if someone doesn't come to mind or something specific doesn't come to mind

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that you need to do a cord cutting ceremony for or about, maybe picturing and just watching

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your thoughts.

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Like, is there someone that you think about like a lot?

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Maybe that is a partner that you're with, or maybe it is a close friendship, or maybe

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it is a space.

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But noticing how much something is consuming your thoughts, that's putting your attention

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somewhere and that's sending your energy out when your energy is getting sent away from

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you over and over and over.

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You're leaving your tank at a very, very low place and it's very easily drained at that

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point.

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So when I did my first cord cutting ceremony, I had a friendship, maybe friendships, not

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the best term, I don't know.

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But I had a person in my life that I just so deeply craved validation from, even though

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they were in a place where I think a lot of healing still needed to happen.

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And I was so damn determined to change that person and just have them understand that

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I care.

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And they just put me down like again and again and again.

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But I was so wanting to prove them wrong that it just consumed a lot of energy.

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And I did a cord cutting ceremony there and I had a huge emotional release from it.

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I cried a lot.

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It felt really good to sit with the fact that that had consumed so much of my energy and

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kind of call it back to me in a ceremony.

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And so yeah, that was my take.

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Kat, give me some of yours.

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Yeah, gladly.

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I know, thinking of a person who's just affected you negatively for so long and cutting that

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cord, it can feel so liberating.

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And it's even like a subconscious thing, right?

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You might not even have realized how much that was taking a toll on you, right?

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Yeah.

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So for me, what comes to mind right off the bat is my hometown, actually, Norwood, Massachusetts.

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When I go back to 2018, when I first moved out to Colorado, I remember visiting Norwood,

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my hometown, a couple of times that year just to see family and anything that brings you

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back home.

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And every time I would fly back, I would just feel this heaviness knowing that I was going

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back there.

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And I was like, why is it just around this, especially this certain neighborhood that

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I used to hang out in a lot in high school?

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And I just like even driving through it, I would get a pit in my stomach.

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I would literally feel it in my belly, in my heart, in a bit of like racy thoughts in

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my mind, it was a full body experience.

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And it's because like areas hold energy, right?

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And without having the knowledge that I have now, the healing work that I've done, I didn't

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really do anything to those places in my mind, in my spirit.

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And so whenever I just go back to them, it would feel like I just reverted back to that

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little 16 year old who experienced all of these traumas in those spaces.

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So let alone all the people who had hurt me and who I had hurt too.

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It was just a lot of memories, a lot of hurt, hard, heavy feelings.

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So my first time doing a cord cutting meditation, I cut my hometown, like the cord that I had

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connected with Norwood.

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And I just remember feeling so much lighter afterwards.

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And yeah, I had an emotional release.

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I was just crying.

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I was like, oh my gosh.

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I had no idea even that like this one house harbored so much emotion for me there.

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And now whenever I go back and visit, I can see it for what it is of like these places

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don't have any control over me.

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Sure, I might still have memories there that doesn't change that, but I'm no longer leaking

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energy to them through my subconscious because I've had this experience that was really transformative

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for me.

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And I'd say, like Jen was just saying, if you're not really coming up with someone right

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off the bat of like who you want to cut this cord with or someplace, I would recommend

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reflecting on your dreams of maybe who's someone or something that keeps recurring to you that

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when you wake up, you feel a little icky of like, why was that person in my dream?

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And just further exploring that some more, maybe journaling on it and seeing if there's

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anything unresolved there and that could be a focus for one of these experiences too,

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to cut.

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Beautiful.

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Love it.

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Thank you for sharing.

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Yeah.

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So, so much good stuff.

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I think this is a beautiful practice.

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Kat is going to guide us in a meditation, but I was just going to share just another

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technique that you could play with and use.

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We're going to try to put a video up for you of us performing this just so you can kind

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of see the visual representation.

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If you have ever seen, you can do a cord cutting ceremony with like a really fun visual by

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taking two candles.

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You'll want to place them on something that's going to be safe as the wax comes down.

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So you can take like a couple plates.

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You usually have it about like six, six inches or so apart from each other.

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And you're going to take twine or string and wrap it around the two candles, like a couple

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times to where there's a bond.

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You'll set the intention that this is going to be a cord cutting ritual.

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You ask for protection and then you'll, you'll visually say which candle is going to be you

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and then what the opposite candle is, whether that's a person or a place.

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And then you'll light the candles at the same time.

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And I really have seen so many cool videos and representations of this.

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It really can kind of tell a story.

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Like for some I've seen the twine cut right away from one person and like fall over to

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the other candle.

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Like someone just like fully cut off that energy, which left you feeling like really

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abandoned and alone.

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I've seen people's candles like go down together at the exact same time.

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There's all these kinds of interpretations that you can find just like online on different

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blogs on just how the candles present when you do this visual representation of a cord

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cutting.

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Yeah.

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So, well, I have definitely a good one in mind.

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So I will try to video it so you guys can kind of have the how to breakdown of how to

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do that.

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And then just to share one other thing before Kat guides us in our meditation is even without

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doing one of these bigger rituals, if you don't have space for this meditation right

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now, I think really just remembering that when you focus on your internal world, you

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stop putting so much energy out into the external.

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I think it is so important that we have connection and love in our life, but we want our connection

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to fuel us as we fuel them, which it's never in a perfect balance.

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But I think that's really important.

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I definitely have better relationships in my life that I feel like are way more reciprocal

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than what I used to put myself through before kind of a spiritual awakening and really walking

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the spiritual path.

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But just keeping in mind, if someone is taking from you, you are worthy of having your own

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energy.

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And should not be stealing from you every single time there's an engagement.

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And maybe that helps kind of provoke a person or a thought of what you maybe need to reflect

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on and maybe cut some of the energetic cords to.

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Awesome.

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Love it.

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Thanks, Jen.

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Yeah, I'm excited to see that video of you doing the candle burning.

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I'm going to try it out, too.

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I'm excited.

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This is like a new a new resource for me.

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Yeah.

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All righty, everybody.

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So hopefully with listening to this episode so far, you have had something come to mind

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that you'd like to cut and bring some distance in between you it them.

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If not, that's OK.

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I still encourage you to listen to this if you're in a place to do so and just see what

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it brings up for you.

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Now in this meditation, we're going to call in the Archangel Michael, who's the Archangel

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for removing cords.

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And he's also known for protection and just bring your energy back to you.

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And when we invite him in his big light sword, it cuts through the cords that are attached

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to you.

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So that's what you can kind of envision with him and the energy that he brings.

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But know that if his energy does not resonate with you, that's totally OK, too.

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Please feel free to use an alternative divine or light source, maybe your spirit guides

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and whatever does feel aligned.

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Step one, we're going to protect the space and call in some guidance.

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So just find a comfortable position.

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Whether you're seated, laying, even walking, if you're listening to this while you're out.

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Unhind your jaw.

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Soften your eyebrows.

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Roll your shoulders up and down your back.

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Finding a small lift in your heart space.

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A little tuck through your chin so that you can lengthen through the crown of your head.

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Just imagine your crown chakra opening in this act of receiving.

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And to breathe a little bit deeper.

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Now to protect the space, I'll begin with a little prayer.

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Thank you, guidance of the highest lights and love for protecting this space and assisting

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me in cutting any unhealthy cords that are attached to me.

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Specifically, please help me release a cord with.

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You fill in the blank.

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Specifically, please help me release a cord with.

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Dark angel Michael, I ask for your divine assistance in cutting these courts.

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Take a deep breath in through your nose.

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Let it go out through your nose.

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Allow your belly to relax and expand on the inhale.

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And fully release all air as your navel point glides back towards your spine on the exhale.

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Begin to notice where you feel the cord in your body.

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I'll take a little body scan.

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Many people feel it in their belly area, which is the home of the ego, our power center.

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Many people also feel it in their hearts, which is the home of emotions.

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Even their throats, which is the center of expression, voice, truth.

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You can't exactly feel where it might be right now.

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Just take a guess as to where it could be for you.

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Using your third eye.

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Envision the cord that's attached to you.

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See it in your mind's eye.

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What color is it?

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What's its texture?

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What does the cord that's draining your energy look like?

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Now see how the cord is attached to you and this other person, place or thing.

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Send your breath to the space in your body where the cord's located.

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Move through it.

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Notice how this feels.

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Now we call in Archangel Michael to cut this cord.

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First feel his presence arrive.

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For me, I see big giant wings, gold and light.

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Notice that he help you release the cord by saying Archangel Michael, please cut this

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cord between me and you fill in the blank.

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This cord is not serving our highest and greatest good and I'm ready for it to be removed.

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In your mind's eye picture the cord being severed by Archangel Michael sword as it falls

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towards the ground dissipates into white light.

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Continue breathing.

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Notice how your energy feels without this cord tying you to that person, place or thing.

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You're welcome to repeat this for as many cords as you'd like to release.

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Asking the support and help of Archangel Michael, naming who this cord is attached to and sharing

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why you're ready for it to let go.

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Once you feel lighter, like you have no further cords to release in this moment, we'll thank

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Archangel Michael and any other divine assistance that supported the release of the cords.

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Thank you Archangel Michael and divine light for releasing this cord from my being.

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Let's take a deep inhale through the nose.

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Open your mouth and release it all the way.

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Feeling that energy leave your space.

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And then return to your body by bringing your hands to your skin, maybe rubbing your hands

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together, stamping your feet on the ground, returning to your physical presence and knowing

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that you are here right now.

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Thanks everybody.

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All right friends, well we hope that you enjoyed this episode.

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We'd love to hear any feedback that you have about the cords that you released, any other

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requests that you have for seasons or topics that you'd like covered this season.

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And we love you.

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Please hit follow, leave us a review and let's continue to connect and awaken together.

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Bye Jack.

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Bye Jack.