Hello everyone and welcome to the Awaken Together podcast.
I'm Jen.
And I'm Kat.
And today we are going to be sharing the art of holding space and talking about cord cutting.
And we're going to give you a meditation to have your own cord cutting ceremony.
Yeah, we're excited about this one.
We're just talking through a couple aspects of these topics and we were just so much to
say both on our own experiences and things that we thought that you, our listeners, would
be interested in hearing too.
Yeah.
So let's start with talking about holding space.
And I will share my take on this Kat.
And then I'd love to hear kind of where your head goes when you think of holding space.
But holding space for me was like, I had no, this was a practice that I did not get any
kind of example of growing up.
And I really wasn't introduced to that kind of concept until I was in the yoga world,
to be honest.
Same sister.
Yeah.
No communication in my household that was really appropriate and what it needed to be.
So holding space is really about learning to sit with someone who is sharing an emotion
or a story with you, like really stepping into vulnerability and being able to just
be in that space with them without having to make it about you, without having to necessarily
offer advice and not, yeah, really not absorbing their energy, just being able to take it without
it being so triggering for yourself.
And so a few things to share from my take is I think I had to learn how to face a lot
of my own shit before I could even sit in spaces with other people that were suffering
with different things, because it was hard when every time someone would share something
heavy because I kind of have an empathic connection to most people.
I really, I could feel it so deeply and because it bubbled stuff up for me and I didn't know
how to like really hold a wall in my own energy, I just think it would be really hard and I'd
avoid it.
And when someone got too deep, I would be like, oh, I'm sorry.
And just like, you know, kind of not really know what to say, not really know what is
appropriate.
And so this has changed with the context of yoga, because a lot of times at different
workshops and events that even me and Kat have done, we'll have people sit across from
each other and practice just looking into each other's eyes, taking turns sharing and
really having the other person just be a mirror for you without having to change their body
language or nod and shake their head yes or no to like give you that validation.
It's just sitting with people.
And one other thing I want to share so I don't forget on holding space is I think because
of my neurodivergences and the fact that I'm on the spectrum, I think I really struggle
sometimes with knowing what people need from me in conversation.
And so I've really had to get good at asking the questions for when holding space is appropriate.
Like, are you wanting me just to be here?
Is this a context where you're looking for advice, you know, and just asking those questions
because the boundaries aren't always clear.
Is this like a holding space time?
And I do think sometimes people do admire the fact that you can talk something out with
them, but this is just little pieces of what I have had to learn for holding space.
What about you, Kat?
I'm so happy you said that because I mean, I, I'm not I don't know if I'm neurodivergent.
I mean, I definitely have some sensory things, but I feel the same way.
It's not totally clear to everybody.
To anyone really, when somebody wants you to just listen and be there for them and hold
space or if they want advice and so asking like the only person that knows is them because
they're in their own mind and and we just can't read their minds.
Right.
And so I think asking is the best way to do it.
And it's something that Kyle and I have gotten in the practice of.
Honestly, he's better at remembering to do that than I am.
Same, same, same, same, same, same.
Yeah, our guys.
They're good listeners.
They sure are.
I go into fix it mode a lot of the time with him, and that's been my practice is not just
looking for solutions because that's what I was taught, but rather just like sitting
there and holding space and sharing like a loving presence, looking them in the eye,
showing that I'm listening and that I care with my body language, facing Kyle or whoever
I'm holding space for with my shoulders, having like a soft expression on my face, not looking
at my phone, just like being there fully present with them.
And yeah, with that, sometimes, like you said, to being an empath, it can be really easy
to absorb that and to to go down in the pits with them, which might be necessary to go
down with them.
But that's not to say that you have to take everything on.
And I think that's the other part of the practice is how do we put that energetic field up to
block that to protect us a little bit so that we don't just take what's coming at us and
let it affect the rest of our day?
Right?
Yeah.
My like thing that I always keep in my head, especially when I'm engaging in conversation,
that's going deeper and we're facing some stuff either individually or together.
I just really believe and I've said this on the podcast before, but where we put our attention
is where we send our energy.
And for me, if I that that picture is very helpful that when I'm focusing on something,
I'm sending a line of energy to it.
But whenever I need to call my energy back to me, I have to tune in and words.
I have to think of what my body's doing and how like focusing on my breath even.
How am I breathing as I'm sitting here?
What sensations am I picking up in my body when I am here?
And that automatically, I feel like usually calls kind of the we're going to take it into
cutting the cord and looking at cords, but that calls my energy back.
And so instead of drawing a line, it brings me back in.
And when I'm holding space for people, first of all, when I stop, I really had to I think
I had to learn the life lesson that like people's problems has nothing to do with me.
And even though, you know, especially in close friendships where navigating maybe some form
of life together.
It's very good for both parties to be heard, not every single person's emotional reality
needs my full take sometimes just being able to vent and be able to do that less alone
is like a night and day difference and feels so good.
And when people were offering that to me in a more conscious space and yoga, I think I
really started understanding that that was something I wasn't really offering a whole
lot of people.
I mean, it felt really good to be able to have someone receive what I'm saying without
having to change it or, yeah, expand on it just to listen.
Yeah, definitely.
And so when we want to be practicing some of this cord cutting and just setting our
own boundaries energetically, that's that can happen either like from a normal conversation
of holding space.
Sometimes, you know, we might notice that we are feeling a little bit different after
the conversation and that's it.
That's not to say that you did anything wrong or that you were too weak and your field didn't
go up, showing yourself some compassion there.
But it can be a really nice exercise in practicing this.
So to talk a little bit more about energetic ties, we've been mentioning this, but when
you have a relationship with a person or a place and there have been a lot of emotions,
a lot of feelings, a lot of like experiences that tie you to them, that's when this energetic
cord connects you to them or this place.
It can be a thing as well, like an object.
So it's not to just say this is strictly reserved for people.
It's also these deeper layers are really common in romantic relationships too.
And some of the benefits that you might experience after you break these ties are just like a
lighter feeling in your body, experiencing more energy, a zest for life that maybe you
had felt a little bit dulled down for a bit.
I've also heard of people waking up more easily in the mornings when, let's say, they would
be waking up pretty groggy for a while.
So it's just like a heaviness with these cords and you can even picture a cord, like a black
cord connecting you to someone that's like dead or stale or even gray and hairy.
I think visualizing these cords can put some more meaning into it and help us just understand
that connection that we still have with someone who maybe is no longer serving us.
And that's not to say that it's right to vilify these people.
I think it's all too easy to say like, oh, there's this negative person that I'm attached
to.
Maybe they're just not in the same place as you right now.
So rather than victimizing yourself, villainizing them, cutting the cord and just letting yourselves
be separately and understanding that maybe what once did serve you, both of you, it doesn't
have to be the same.
Yeah.
Perfectly said.
And I think when we are doing any form of cord cutting, whether that be a meditation,
we're going to share like how to do it with candles is like a ritual.
But regardless of what form it takes, it's not meaning to say that that person will never
be in your life again or you're never going to go to that place again.
It's really just kind of a cleansing reset to really reflect on maybe how much energy
you're putting towards that.
And I wanted to share just my personal experience with cord cutting.
I think for me, I have shared, I had a huge and this has been coming up in my life at
this point, just kind of reflecting on some of this too, because I can see my growth in
it.
So it's kind of been fun to sit with in journal, but I had a huge issue with codependency,
which just means that I would put other people ahead of me all the time.
It was kind of like an addiction versus I was never the type that was very addicted
to substances.
I used to brag that I didn't have an addictive personality when in reality I was so addicted
to giving people advice, dealing with people's lives for them.
I would take someone's life and love to be in charge of every single component.
I went far, which is the peak problem of creating an energetic cord for real.
And I had some friendships for sure that I just like, it was all consuming in my thoughts.
When I thought of it as an addiction, it was really that serious.
I would think about someone all the freaking time and I really do deeply love and get attached
to people very easily.
So it's really important for me to have these kinds of practices.
But I think if someone doesn't come to mind or something specific doesn't come to mind
that you need to do a cord cutting ceremony for or about, maybe picturing and just watching
your thoughts.
Like, is there someone that you think about like a lot?
Maybe that is a partner that you're with, or maybe it is a close friendship, or maybe
it is a space.
But noticing how much something is consuming your thoughts, that's putting your attention
somewhere and that's sending your energy out when your energy is getting sent away from
you over and over and over.
You're leaving your tank at a very, very low place and it's very easily drained at that
point.
So when I did my first cord cutting ceremony, I had a friendship, maybe friendships, not
the best term, I don't know.
But I had a person in my life that I just so deeply craved validation from, even though
they were in a place where I think a lot of healing still needed to happen.
And I was so damn determined to change that person and just have them understand that
I care.
And they just put me down like again and again and again.
But I was so wanting to prove them wrong that it just consumed a lot of energy.
And I did a cord cutting ceremony there and I had a huge emotional release from it.
I cried a lot.
It felt really good to sit with the fact that that had consumed so much of my energy and
kind of call it back to me in a ceremony.
And so yeah, that was my take.
Kat, give me some of yours.
Yeah, gladly.
I know, thinking of a person who's just affected you negatively for so long and cutting that
cord, it can feel so liberating.
And it's even like a subconscious thing, right?
You might not even have realized how much that was taking a toll on you, right?
Yeah.
So for me, what comes to mind right off the bat is my hometown, actually, Norwood, Massachusetts.
When I go back to 2018, when I first moved out to Colorado, I remember visiting Norwood,
my hometown, a couple of times that year just to see family and anything that brings you
back home.
And every time I would fly back, I would just feel this heaviness knowing that I was going
back there.
And I was like, why is it just around this, especially this certain neighborhood that
I used to hang out in a lot in high school?
And I just like even driving through it, I would get a pit in my stomach.
I would literally feel it in my belly, in my heart, in a bit of like racy thoughts in
my mind, it was a full body experience.
And it's because like areas hold energy, right?
And without having the knowledge that I have now, the healing work that I've done, I didn't
really do anything to those places in my mind, in my spirit.
And so whenever I just go back to them, it would feel like I just reverted back to that
little 16 year old who experienced all of these traumas in those spaces.
So let alone all the people who had hurt me and who I had hurt too.
It was just a lot of memories, a lot of hurt, hard, heavy feelings.
So my first time doing a cord cutting meditation, I cut my hometown, like the cord that I had
connected with Norwood.
And I just remember feeling so much lighter afterwards.
And yeah, I had an emotional release.
I was just crying.
I was like, oh my gosh.
I had no idea even that like this one house harbored so much emotion for me there.
And now whenever I go back and visit, I can see it for what it is of like these places
don't have any control over me.
Sure, I might still have memories there that doesn't change that, but I'm no longer leaking
energy to them through my subconscious because I've had this experience that was really transformative
for me.
And I'd say, like Jen was just saying, if you're not really coming up with someone right
off the bat of like who you want to cut this cord with or someplace, I would recommend
reflecting on your dreams of maybe who's someone or something that keeps recurring to you that
when you wake up, you feel a little icky of like, why was that person in my dream?
And just further exploring that some more, maybe journaling on it and seeing if there's
anything unresolved there and that could be a focus for one of these experiences too,
to cut.
Beautiful.
Love it.
Thank you for sharing.
Yeah.
So, so much good stuff.
I think this is a beautiful practice.
Kat is going to guide us in a meditation, but I was just going to share just another
technique that you could play with and use.
We're going to try to put a video up for you of us performing this just so you can kind
of see the visual representation.
If you have ever seen, you can do a cord cutting ceremony with like a really fun visual by
taking two candles.
You'll want to place them on something that's going to be safe as the wax comes down.
So you can take like a couple plates.
You usually have it about like six, six inches or so apart from each other.
And you're going to take twine or string and wrap it around the two candles, like a couple
times to where there's a bond.
You'll set the intention that this is going to be a cord cutting ritual.
You ask for protection and then you'll, you'll visually say which candle is going to be you
and then what the opposite candle is, whether that's a person or a place.
And then you'll light the candles at the same time.
And I really have seen so many cool videos and representations of this.
It really can kind of tell a story.
Like for some I've seen the twine cut right away from one person and like fall over to
the other candle.
Like someone just like fully cut off that energy, which left you feeling like really
abandoned and alone.
I've seen people's candles like go down together at the exact same time.
There's all these kinds of interpretations that you can find just like online on different
blogs on just how the candles present when you do this visual representation of a cord
cutting.
Yeah.
So, well, I have definitely a good one in mind.
So I will try to video it so you guys can kind of have the how to breakdown of how to
do that.
And then just to share one other thing before Kat guides us in our meditation is even without
doing one of these bigger rituals, if you don't have space for this meditation right
now, I think really just remembering that when you focus on your internal world, you
stop putting so much energy out into the external.
I think it is so important that we have connection and love in our life, but we want our connection
to fuel us as we fuel them, which it's never in a perfect balance.
But I think that's really important.
I definitely have better relationships in my life that I feel like are way more reciprocal
than what I used to put myself through before kind of a spiritual awakening and really walking
the spiritual path.
But just keeping in mind, if someone is taking from you, you are worthy of having your own
energy.
And should not be stealing from you every single time there's an engagement.
And maybe that helps kind of provoke a person or a thought of what you maybe need to reflect
on and maybe cut some of the energetic cords to.
Awesome.
Love it.
Thanks, Jen.
Yeah, I'm excited to see that video of you doing the candle burning.
I'm going to try it out, too.
I'm excited.
This is like a new a new resource for me.
Yeah.
All righty, everybody.
So hopefully with listening to this episode so far, you have had something come to mind
that you'd like to cut and bring some distance in between you it them.
If not, that's OK.
I still encourage you to listen to this if you're in a place to do so and just see what
it brings up for you.
Now in this meditation, we're going to call in the Archangel Michael, who's the Archangel
for removing cords.
And he's also known for protection and just bring your energy back to you.
And when we invite him in his big light sword, it cuts through the cords that are attached
to you.
So that's what you can kind of envision with him and the energy that he brings.
But know that if his energy does not resonate with you, that's totally OK, too.
Please feel free to use an alternative divine or light source, maybe your spirit guides
and whatever does feel aligned.
Step one, we're going to protect the space and call in some guidance.
So just find a comfortable position.
Whether you're seated, laying, even walking, if you're listening to this while you're out.
Unhind your jaw.
Soften your eyebrows.
Roll your shoulders up and down your back.
Finding a small lift in your heart space.
A little tuck through your chin so that you can lengthen through the crown of your head.
Just imagine your crown chakra opening in this act of receiving.
And to breathe a little bit deeper.
Now to protect the space, I'll begin with a little prayer.
Thank you, guidance of the highest lights and love for protecting this space and assisting
me in cutting any unhealthy cords that are attached to me.
Specifically, please help me release a cord with.
You fill in the blank.
Specifically, please help me release a cord with.
Dark angel Michael, I ask for your divine assistance in cutting these courts.
Take a deep breath in through your nose.
Let it go out through your nose.
Allow your belly to relax and expand on the inhale.
And fully release all air as your navel point glides back towards your spine on the exhale.
Begin to notice where you feel the cord in your body.
I'll take a little body scan.
Many people feel it in their belly area, which is the home of the ego, our power center.
Many people also feel it in their hearts, which is the home of emotions.
Even their throats, which is the center of expression, voice, truth.
You can't exactly feel where it might be right now.
Just take a guess as to where it could be for you.
Using your third eye.
Envision the cord that's attached to you.
See it in your mind's eye.
What color is it?
What's its texture?
What does the cord that's draining your energy look like?
Now see how the cord is attached to you and this other person, place or thing.
Send your breath to the space in your body where the cord's located.
Move through it.
Notice how this feels.
Now we call in Archangel Michael to cut this cord.
First feel his presence arrive.
For me, I see big giant wings, gold and light.
Notice that he help you release the cord by saying Archangel Michael, please cut this
cord between me and you fill in the blank.
This cord is not serving our highest and greatest good and I'm ready for it to be removed.
In your mind's eye picture the cord being severed by Archangel Michael sword as it falls
towards the ground dissipates into white light.
Continue breathing.
Notice how your energy feels without this cord tying you to that person, place or thing.
You're welcome to repeat this for as many cords as you'd like to release.
Asking the support and help of Archangel Michael, naming who this cord is attached to and sharing
why you're ready for it to let go.
Once you feel lighter, like you have no further cords to release in this moment, we'll thank
Archangel Michael and any other divine assistance that supported the release of the cords.
Thank you Archangel Michael and divine light for releasing this cord from my being.
Let's take a deep inhale through the nose.
Open your mouth and release it all the way.
Feeling that energy leave your space.
And then return to your body by bringing your hands to your skin, maybe rubbing your hands
together, stamping your feet on the ground, returning to your physical presence and knowing
that you are here right now.
Thanks everybody.
All right friends, well we hope that you enjoyed this episode.
We'd love to hear any feedback that you have about the cords that you released, any other
requests that you have for seasons or topics that you'd like covered this season.
And we love you.
Please hit follow, leave us a review and let's continue to connect and awaken together.
Bye Jack.