Hello and welcome back to the Awaken Together podcast.
I'm Kat.
I'm Jen.
And we want to welcome you to season three.
We have missed this space and missed you all.
And yeah, we're calling today's episode, What the Fuck is Happening?
And we're going to put this one out a little earlier for you guys because we have just
been thinking about all the stuff going on around the world.
It's been really hitting us right in the heart.
And we thought we'd have an open conversation just to kind of get it out and share some
thoughts for our community.
So welcome.
Yeah, we've been feeling it for sure.
And figured we'd just hop on and start the season early.
The rest of the episodes will actually begin in September and we'll be offering episodes
every week of this fall.
So lots of exciting content that we're pumped to get out to you all.
But for today, What the Fuck is Happening?
Really.
A little trigger warning that we're going to be covering some intense topics today.
So if you're not in the headspace to listen to that, it's really important that you take
care of yourself first and above all, and that you're in a good space where you're ready
to hear it and get deep and maybe question some things that you've thought or that have
been happening.
But we want to start with just a little bit of grounding to get us in the space of receiving
what is going to come.
So if you're in a place where you can find a seat, please do that.
Come across your legs and plant your feet firmly on the ground beneath you.
Lean your back upright.
If you're sitting in a chair, rest your spine against the back of the chair.
Feel a lift in the crown of your head and a rooting down through your hips.
Maybe you place your hands on your body.
Maybe they feel nice on your heart.
Let's take a few moments just to breathe.
Let your exhales be longer than your inhales.
When we do this, we send a message to our nervous systems that we're in a safe place
to just let go.
Let's take a few rounds together.
Deep breath in.
Open your mouth.
Let it go.
Two more like that.
Breath in and out.
One more time.
Deepest one yet.
Breathe all the way in.
Feel your ribs expand.
Hold it at the top.
Open your mouth.
Clear it all out.
Seal your lips and continue breathing in through your nose and out through your nose.
Starting to release the hold on your breath and just letting it flow in and out.
Can open your eyes back up if they were closed.
And now we can begin.
Thank you, Kat.
So needed that.
And let me tell you the amount of times I have had to go back to my breath in the last
month, couple months.
It's just been a constant taking stuff in, thinking it through, and then bringing myself
back into my body, connecting back with my breath.
And I've just been very thankful for all the action steps and healing that I have taken
in years previous to be able to kind of navigate this time with a sense of being able to not
only feel all the emotions that have been screaming to be felt, but also know how to
kind of transmute some of those heavier emotions into not just immobilization, but being able
to turn like anger into passion, taking my sadness, my grief and all of this and being
able to channel it into deeper connections and conversations, just really, really important
stuff that this healing and spiritual journey has given me in my toolbox to be able to navigate
all of this better.
So grateful.
Likewise.
Yes.
And let's call out some of the things that have been going on, shall we?
Yeah, list it off.
Yeah.
So to start with Roe v. Wade being overturned.
We're experiencing a massive attack on women's rights.
Certainly also 96% of Republicans voted to make birth control illegal.
So it continues.
Gay marriage is also being threatened along with LGBTQ plus rights.
Police brutality is an all time high and the mass shootings continue.
Yeah.
So heavy, heavy freaking stuff.
I thought that me and Kat would go back and forth and just kind of share some of the experiences
we had as this stuff kind of came to the news and got shared.
And I think just to preface from my perspective, this has all hit like, I feel like a lot of
layers deeper than for some.
I think with all of this Roe v. Wade stuff getting overturned, I've not only felt like
a lot of my religious trauma stuff kind of resurfacing with some of these more conservative
values being pushed and also seeing the way a lot of my kind of more conservative family
members and old circles have responded to this stuff.
Being able to see that perspective on top of this, I think has cut me like layers deeper.
And yeah, if you're on like the TikTok space, I think we've been able to see a lot of stories
being shared.
I think there's, yeah, this just goes a lot of layers deeper, but we're going to kind
of stay within the context somewhat best I can on just kind of the women's rights focus.
And so yeah, I'll start with just kind of what that like morning looked like for me
and what happened kind of throughout the day.
I got announced really early or I feel like I heard it really early.
It was like with my morning coffee and I was just immediately burst into tears.
I was like so angry.
I remember shaking as I was drinking my coffee and just being so frustrated that this had
actually happened, that it wasn't just rumored.
It was real, really, really there and really, really present.
And then the weirdest part about all of it was I had to be at work.
So having to go from this like very visceral reaction to then having to kind of mask when
I am obviously very anti having to mask some of my feelings very open about sharing and
letting it out.
And so it's just kind of this weird extra layer that I had to then put on a happier
face and show up at work and be able to hold space for my patients while I'm feeling all
this rage.
And actually my boss, right when I walked in, I was like, he was like, how are you Jen?
I was like really bad because my rights were just taken, but you know, we're going to do
the best we can just getting through this.
And he was just like, oh, sorry.
I just put a hand on my shoulder and I was like, I'm going to do the best I can.
I'm just like tears just continuously just kept coming up.
Just you know, I feel like every bit of work I do even in patient care is all for people.
It's people that have been failed by a system that are struggling to get back to work and
get back to reality.
So it's just there was a lot of irony tied in with all of that.
But I went through my day.
I took in little bouts of social media when I got home, but I honestly couldn't handle
very much that first day.
And I did probably not maybe the best move on day number one, but I was just feeling
so much that I figured why not just rip off the bandaid and do the whole thing.
So I have not been on Facebook in like three years, besides like occasionally logging in
to look at those old photo albums, you know, as you do.
So I went on my husband's account and just started reading what some of my family members
were saying.
And that like opened up an entire world of people that were celebrating and said, I will
never forget this day.
It's the most beautiful day in history to be able to take this giant stand for God and
that this is so beautiful that faith is coming back to the surface.
I also saw a whole comment thread under a Roe v. Wade post about how now God wants his
rainbow back.
We know what we need to take down next.
We got to get this country back into a biblical mind frame or it's going to keep falling
apart.
So I was just seeing these perspectives that I'm so out of tune with at this point, but
very much I remember on like a cellular level because it's in my trauma body from the way
I was raised.
But having all of that be read on top of kind of everything that happened and even looking
under the Roe v. Wade hashtag and seeing that it was very kind of split between celebration
for how beautiful of a move that was to also seeing people yeah devastated and just to
share one like final bit of that day.
Like when I first initially felt that pain, it was so much more than it just being this
like federal regulation being pulled.
It's just in my body and in my mind flashed like all of these personal stories of times
I was taken advantage of close friends have been taken advantage of the situations my
friends and close like close people in my circle have relied on that kind of federal
protection and really awful times in their lives.
And I just think I kind of flash and had this empath feeling for so many stories that came
before me.
And yeah, I also had like flashes of like the women that had to fight with their lives
for this all those years ago and how you know the original fight of Roe v. Wade was because
there was malicious things happening to women and they were seeing like the underground
world of abortions and what was happening and how doctors were manipulating women to
doing things for them.
If they did stuff for them, it just got really grimy and unprotected and really scary.
And so yeah, all that kind of flashed in my head and one flash and it was overwhelming
and Kat was in a completely kind of a different perspective, which I honestly really loved
and appreciated seeing you were like my grounding light.
So, you know, but yes, tell us kind of what went down for you.
Yeah, so it's really, really interesting.
June 24th is my best friend Margie's birthday and we were at Electric Forest together.
The music festival.
Kat's like top home.
Yeah, my home, my happy place that we look forward to going to every year.
It was year seven and so we have just been waiting for this moment for years and years
and years.
Yeah, and so we were there and I went on Instagram early that morning just as I was in my tent,
like just waking up for the day around like 11 or something.
And I saw that and I was like, oh no, like, oh my God, it actually happened.
Like yeah, we'd heard the rumors and that this might happen and that was scary enough.
But to see that, oh shit, like here we are.
It's done now.
But I kind of took and didn't let myself really go into it because of the setting of where
I was and didn't feel like it was the time for me to really go in and feel that and fully
understand what that means for myself, for the women in my life, for our country as a
whole.
And so I also was really well aware that it was my best friend's birthday and I didn't
want this to ruin her entire day.
And I know she didn't want that either.
So after getting out of the tent, wishing her happy birthday, I asked her, you know,
did you see what happened with Roe versus Wade in abortion?
She said, yes, I cannot believe it.
And kind of had that moment of like, oh my God, like, what does this mean?
But we also mutually agreed that we're going to kind of deal with that.
We had the privilege of dealing with that when we got home, knowing that we are both
from states that have really progressive abortion laws and that will not be overturned.
We're really lucky here in Colorado, we have some of the best abortion laws in the whole
country.
But it still doesn't diminish the fact of what's going on at a collective level for
us women.
So I kind of put that away and then as we went on throughout the day, it was a really
happy day.
And I was really glad to see I was hoping this would happen.
But most of the musical artists that we saw perform did say something and kind of dedicated
their set to like coming together of people and how we are bigger than any political movements
and that we have the power to change, to change what's going on.
And it was it was very empowering.
It was also just taking a moment for sadness.
And I think it was Sylvan Esso we saw she kind of like had a moment of silence and all
of it connected really beautifully with her sets with her music.
And Grizz as well, he did a couple times shared like, what's going on.
And it was just really good to see like over the sea of 30,000 people, like everybody that
I could tell was very much in alignment of like, this is fucked up.
And this is not going to be like what we're accepting.
We're not just going to be complacent with this.
Like we're going to have our fun time here at the forest and then we're going to go home
and get shit done.
It also happened that night and I didn't even mention this to you, but that day I lost my
birth control pill.
Wild.
And so to talk about like the interrelatedness of everything, like, holy shit, like, yeah,
it doesn't affect me, you know, in my state.
But just thinking about that, if I lived anywhere else and I lost my birth control pill and
I got pregnant and I couldn't have that baby, you know, that I wouldn't be able to.
So that's some feelings for me.
I'm now off the birth control pill, which we'll talk about another episode riding all
the ways of emotion.
But ever since.
Crazy timing though.
Yeah, seriously, crazy timing.
And ever since being back, I've allowed myself to have those moments of going into like the
grief that this has brought on.
And a lot of that for me has been like consuming different content on social media, different
articles, just like the we all heard the story of the 10 year old girl, right?
Yeah.
Who was raped by someone in her family and was not allowed to be given an abortion.
Like that's just no, no words.
But yeah, I aside from that, I've totally acknowledged that I am in an echo chamber
on my social media because everyone that I follow is very much like me, like us, like
progressive.
And I don't come from a place where there's a lot of religious trauma and a lot of that
being shoved down your throat and no one on my feet is celebrating Roe v Wade being overturned.
So connecting with Jen and hearing all about like your family and just what you're seeing
because you're from Florida, I'm from Massachusetts, differences in those communities.
So yeah, it's been really interesting to hear that from you and acknowledging too that it's
much more comfortable for me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so yeah, there's a really good line of thought within all of this.
I think.
Yeah, I think TikTok's algorithm as a whole has helped elevate voices that probably would
not have been elevated through just like an Instagram space.
Just Instagram, it's hard to get as much context, you know, because it's not people talking
and sharing.
So I do think that social media app as a whole has been able to allow me to hear perspectives
as these big political things happen that maybe I wouldn't be as exposed to.
But I also I felt like a deep pool when this all like at first happened that I just started
thinking of previous times in history when there's tried to be an impression of a large
group of people before.
Like, yeah, we've seen in history repeat itself again and again, minority groups being pushed
down or just not getting a sense of freedom for absolutely everyone and how they express
and live their life.
We see history repeat itself in this.
And you know, we didn't have the Internet and these other big giant movements.
So we didn't we weren't able to like go online and research things like outside of the context
of our own bubble.
So in a way, the Internet can be the most freeing thing in the world because it allows
you to get knowledge of something you wouldn't have access to.
If you look at previous times in history when this is this has happened.
So as much as it's important, I think, to take social media breaks and not overconsume,
I've also tried to stay vigilant to the fact that this is the first time in history where
we can be communicating this diversely about the topics that are happening, if that makes
some sense.
So I've tried to stay vigilant on that, too.
And so I think the media has a lot of relevance.
I think it's also important to do some research, maybe outside of your context in small amounts,
not to the point of being immobilized.
But there are conversations happening in the Internet space that you can see all ranges
of thinking behind absolutely everything.
So I'm going to share to one of the initial things as was Kat was saying, like I felt
like I because of this religion trauma background, I wanted to open a conversation up with my
family.
Right.
When this happened, I felt like we I bring up uncomfortable conversations with them kind
of often.
I've gone from no contact to contact back and forth and definitely tried out various
things as I navigated my own healing journey.
But I felt like this huge fire that I needed to kind of share my perspective in this after
reading what was put on social media by my family.
So I can share like just a smidge of that conversation because, yeah, it's it's kind
of a unique take, I think, on some of it.
So I really try to paint the picture for my family who have very conservative Christian
values and really believe that all of all of these LBGTQ plus getting rights, all of
the women's rights, they feel all of this like defies what the Bible is saying.
And they think that the Bible should win.
And as much as they were against getting forced vaccinations for covid, you know, you also
see them deeply wanting the freedom to be able to do.
Yeah, it just they kind of contradict themselves and wanting everyone to have rights, they
say.
So nothing is forced on them.
But then doing the very thing that they're saying they don't want and trying to force
things on other people.
Very contradictory, very contradicting.
And I get even annoyed having to argue like so many like petty points.
And I really just tried to give a deeper context picture to them that our family, we come from
a lot of generations of really strict religious beliefs, especially like Christianity.
And within all of that, my family really directly plays a part to our ancestors were a part
of the original group that probably really did awful things to the Native Americans when
they first colonized this country were a part of definitely the the deep south and slave
owning racism, like just heavy.
All of that is in my family's history.
And if you look at any of those movements, a lot of them got justified by biblical implications
again and again, and then would start to kind of slack on what they thought the Bible's
interpretation of and then get a little bit more loose on it.
But behind all that biblical push is also like justifying abuse and really toxic behavior
that ends up usually impacting minority groups and people of color.
And yeah, and even the LGBTQ plus community, which I feel like is just at the threshold
of having like more freedom, not that it's even there yet, but closer than probably has
ever been in history.
And so, yeah, I try to paint a bigger picture to them that, you know, as much as they think
they're trying to push this biblical agenda, it's also very scary because we've seen that
happen before in history where, yeah, the Bible was used to justify it.
And I just try to paint that as a whole and tell them that, you know, you can have the
right to your religion, your beliefs and all of that.
And you can have the context you want within what you think women should and shouldn't
do, but you can only navigate your own life and your own inner circle.
And it gets really scary when you see bigger oversight on that stuff that leads to people
not being protected and like, yeah, more problems coming out of it.
Yeah, it feels like lately what we've been seeing is a lot of positive change, you know,
in terms of like, yeah, with the LGBTQ plus community slowly beginning to get more rights,
like the bathroom laws and all of that.
Yeah, we have like so many all gender bathrooms here in Colorado, it's freaking great.
Colorado's the best.
But yeah, sometimes it feels like we're taking three steps forward all to take two steps
back, right?
And so progression and change feels slow.
But I think it's important to kind of zoom out sometimes and take it for the whole trajectory
of where it's been, where it's going of this has happened in the past, you know, and it's
not, you know, we've talked about how people say we just need to get back to the way things
used to be like that is so irrelevant.
That is so it's a slap in the face.
So many of the stories we've been able to hear of people's pain and how their lives
were so deeply affected by these like, moral laws and just it's caused oppression again
and again and again.
And so stop saying it, we got to get back to this used to be the used to be really did
only really elevate a very tiny group of what this country is actually built on, which is
a lot of diversity and a lot of different ways of thinking.
Yeah, and sometimes the infrastructure needs to be completely broken down in order to rebuild
it even stronger.
So that's how I stay hopeful.
It's thinking about how, yeah, shit hits the fan.
And then we come together, we rally the troops.
When we understand the magnitude of like, what's going on, and then we're going to come
back even stronger, but we can't just accept what's happening in order to get there.
So change is needed.
Also, it was super interesting for me to learn from you, Jen, how this is also like in the
stars.
Yeah.
So obviously, we know that I'm very into astrology.
And this has been kind of like a little light and all of this too, is, you know, I've heard
many people are trying to find like the root cause of this, like why it's happening.
And I think we have to be tactful that, yeah, we can't know the entire bigger picture of
why.
But I do think having perspective that can make you feel lighter and more positive, but
also still keep that fire within you to create action is important.
But, you know, within a big chunk of the millennial and even Gen Z population, we have Pluto and
Scorpio.
It's mainly millennials.
And Pluto is a planet is one of our outer planets that moves really slowly.
So it lumps us into generations.
I think we talked about this in the astrology episode.
And we were given Scorpio, Pluto's and Scorpio is all about taking all of the stuff that's
been hidden and tucked away and in secret and bringing it up to the surface.
And I think within within all of this, you can find a million negative perspectives and
you can find a million potential positive perspectives.
But knowing that we have made so many things known and visible is also like kind of the
most beautiful thing.
Like we've been able to have conversations that have never been being able to be vocalized
on larger platforms.
And we are calling these senators, these House representatives, like we are pulling out their
life stories, bringing all this stuff to the surface so that, yeah, things are not being
said without a lot of context being revealed behind it.
So yeah, it's kind of an information overload, but it's also really beautiful that people
can't just say something anymore because we will pull out all your secrets.
We will make sure that the secrets are known.
And I don't think people are able to get away with the stuff quite as easily as before.
We're causing like some serious inconvenience.
And yeah, that's beautiful being inconvenient and creating inconvenience, being wild, being
radically yourself is one of the most expansive ways to promote freedom, I think of them all.
So loving it.
Absolutely.
And that really ties in well to I mean, our whole intention for this podcast and not just
this episode, but all of Awaken Together is to help you like understand some tools and
resources to get your get to know yourself on a deeper level so that you can really be
rooted in yourself, in your confidence, your abilities, and take empowered action on these
huge movements that affect us all.
Because if we're unclear of who we are and what we stand for, how the hell are we going
to make change in the world and like let that ripple out?
Yeah, and when we deeply know ourselves, and we are not moving through life with under
these old subconscious wounds and pains that are deep within us, when we know how to manage
and feel our emotions and take ourselves from heightened heights to being able to bring
ourselves back to a sense of safety, all of that helps you move through a more intuitive
way so that when something actually comes up in your direct life, you're able to manage
that in the most appropriate and beautiful way.
You're not coming from old stories and the way you move through your life.
And that is the whole point of this healing and spiritual journey is to get to that intuitive
way of thinking.
Heck yeah.
So we want to kind of close out this episode by sharing some ideas and tools for when shit
gets really hard and you can just like feel like you're doing something productive.
Sometimes the most productive thing to do is to rest, right?
So taking those social media breaks, taking breaks from listening to the news, practicing
your self care, choosing your community mindfully and wisely, surrounding yourself with people
who make you feel uplifted, seen and heard, and that you can really connect with on a
soul level.
Also putting your money where your mouth is and donating to Planned Parenthood if you're
feeling like, I want to be doing more.
They are at the front lines of combating this.
And so donating to them right online is a great way to do it.
Yeah, I went and did some protesting at the Capitol, which was great and very needed.
I also think it's really important that we listen to people of color, people in the LGBTQ
plus community, the people that have fought oppression again and again.
It's really important to listen to those voices because yeah, we are now lumped in as a giant
group of uterus bodies all being affected by this.
But there's been groups that have had to continuously climb to the top that have more organized
resources because they've been a part of it.
So making sure that you kind of diversify the opinions that you're getting, you listen
to people that are outside of your circle.
And I also think focusing on your own self-love journey continuously.
Yeah, playing with all of the things we've shared with using yoga, using meditation,
using sound healing, using all of the things that we have shared to continue to get to
know yourself so that when more people wake up to who they actually are, it's going to
be impossible to tame us again.
And that was my capital holding sign untamed that I had because I so deeply believe that
it's in the taming of this that we see those oppressive thoughts.
So keep untaming yourself, keep learning how to embrace all the beautiful parts of who
you are.
And I am a huge documentary and book fan.
So I was going to share a couple of the books that I think have deeply impacted.
I honestly have so many.
Maybe we can make a post for you guys too on our Awaken Together podcast Instagram page.
But The Moment of Lift is a really beautiful book by Melinda Gates.
I think it really paints the picture with a lot of data on how we have gotten to a place
where birth control was accessible, how, yeah, just the journey of women's rights, even in
this country and in other countries.
It was a very, very fascinating read.
I love Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown that talks about a lot of the political movements
behind embracing freedom for all and braving these oppressive systems.
And I love Untamed by Glennon Doyle, who also does the same and shares about untaming yourself
and what that looks like for the individual and the collective at large.
For Roe v. Wade, some really good documentaries.
The Janes is on HBO.
I thought that gave so much insight of why Roe v. Wade becoming federal law was so significant
with what was going on in those times.
And then Reversing Roe is also on Netflix and had a lot of good data about the history
behind the movement, what was going on.
And I also love Ruth Bader Ginsburg documentary that really goes over the background of women
legislation and what it has looked like in the country too.
Amelia, thank you for those resources.
That's awesome.
Great place to start.
And yeah, thank you all so much for being an amazing part of our community and for just
showing up, for being here with us.
We love you all and can't wait to talk with you again in September.
All right.
Love you guys.
Bye.