1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,120 Hello everybody and welcome to a new episode of the Awaken Together podcast. 2 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,120 I'm Kat. 3 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,120 I'm Jen. 4 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,120 And in today's episode, we are talking about loving kindness. 5 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:24,020 How loving yourself makes others feel okay to do the same, thus making the world a better 6 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:25,020 place. 7 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,020 Beautiful topic. 8 00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:31,400 But before we get into it, we figured we'd give a little life update. 9 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,200 It feels like a long time since we've dropped in. 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:41,300 So the first update for our actual podcast is we are doing an April giveaway. 11 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:47,200 So if you share any of the posts from the Awaken Together page and tag Awaken Together 12 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:53,400 podcast, we will see your submission and we're going to draw a special winner to receive 13 00:00:53,400 --> 00:01:00,560 one of three options for me and Kat to do a one-on-one session with you. 14 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:08,440 And in personal Jen's life, I'm really still getting settled from the year of traveling. 15 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:16,120 I'm trying to really find balance in doing physical therapy job and then also still doing 16 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:21,640 kind of this more expansive side of myself where I've been really into helping guide 17 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,400 others through a spiritual healing journey. 18 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:31,760 So I'm trying to kind of navigate my hours appropriately for the two worlds. 19 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:39,080 And honestly, it's been really nice to put like, yeah, 25 hours into the physical therapy 20 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:43,040 worlds and then save some hours for kind of my creative spirit. 21 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,380 So I've been finding balance in that. 22 00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:51,440 It's so nice to be in Denver and get to experience the city again and live close to Kat. 23 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:57,480 It's been so great to have you back in Denver and like we're recording in person, which 24 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,240 we weren't for all of last year. 25 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,480 And so it still feels like a treat. 26 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,520 And this is actually our first time recording in my new house. 27 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,520 A big clap everyone. 28 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,560 Yes. 29 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:14,200 So I've shared some of the turmoil that happened in the whole home buying process. 30 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,840 And like when we finally bought the house, there were cockroaches and a break-in and 31 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,360 just like everything that could have gone wrong, it felt like did. 32 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:29,400 But now we're in a point where we've been living here for like three weeks and it feels 33 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,400 like home. 34 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,960 And honestly, it looks like home. 35 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:32,960 Like, it's very impressive. 36 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,560 Like I came in and yeah, she's killed it. 37 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,560 Thank you. 38 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:44,080 I mean, I've been kind of treating it as my full time job decorating, settling in, but 39 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,580 I feel like I'm really living by my New Year's intention of rooting. 40 00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:49,580 So I have this going on. 41 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:56,240 I'm also like interviewing for my first corporate job role in like so long. 42 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:02,200 And I mean, it's my first interview at a corporate place in like four and a half years. 43 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:07,200 So please send me all of your good energy by the time this episode comes out. 44 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,120 I will know if it's happening or not. 45 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:14,760 So yeah, all the good juju, please. 46 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,080 I love the ups and downs. 47 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,520 I also love that. 48 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:22,960 Yeah, on this journey, when we first started the podcast, we had both like, you know, completely 49 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:30,120 cleared our plate so that we could try to create and kind of manifest the stuff that 50 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,380 we were deeply craving and wanting into our reality. 51 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,440 And now we're kind of both at an integration place. 52 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,400 So it's really cool. 53 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,400 Absolutely. 54 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,740 It's like we're not going to forget or leave anything that we've learned or done. 55 00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:46,280 Now it's just a matter of like, okay, entering this next new chapter of our lives, how can 56 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:51,240 we take all of our passions and make it work for like all the things we want and need right 57 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,240 now? 58 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,240 Absolutely. 59 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,960 Couldn't have said it better. 60 00:03:54,960 --> 00:04:01,720 So as we delve into this topic, we wanted to first take turns just sharing our kind 61 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:07,960 of self-love journey in short, just to give you some references of the ups and downs of 62 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:14,700 that journey, the takeaways and really introduce kind of the shadow side that you have to face 63 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:19,080 in order to cultivate a real relationship with yourself. 64 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,000 So Kat, you want to start us off? 65 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Sure. 66 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 Yeah. 67 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,240 So I have lovingly referenced my dark cat days many a time on here. 68 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,240 Dark cat. 69 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:35,640 My times in high school and yeah, really just high school were my darkest days, but definitely 70 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:40,720 struggled with insecurities, my confidence for a long time. 71 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,960 And of course I'm human. 72 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,400 And so I still have days like that. 73 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:51,120 But those days are farther and fewer in between since I have been doing this work for years 74 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,120 on end now of self-love and acceptance. 75 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,400 Really, that's the key to it all is acceptance. 76 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,720 And we'll talk a little bit more about that. 77 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,740 But for me, it started out as like a weight thing. 78 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:10,980 And that was like the thing, the area of my life that I could kind of point to rather 79 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:17,040 than like facing my internal demons of, oh, these toxic personality traits or like how 80 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,160 I'm showing up in my relationships. 81 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,960 Like no, for me, it all just came bubbling down to my weight. 82 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:28,440 But once I was able to establish a healthy relationship with my weight and with my self 83 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:35,280 image and my body, that's when I was able to start doing healing work on like my thoughts, 84 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:42,880 my thought patterns, my triggers, my emotions, my defenses, my protections, all these different 85 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,640 parts of myself that I had never really faced before. 86 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:51,400 And I like to call that my inner critic. 87 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:57,080 So the inner critic, the inner best friend, we've also talked about in the past on here 88 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,080 as well. 89 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,640 And I really like to think of the inner best friend as like your highest self, your true 90 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,640 self. 91 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,600 But Jen, I want to hear a little bit about your story. 92 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,600 Yeah. 93 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 Yeah. 94 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:14,560 I'll definitely take on that inner critic role because I had a super loud inner critic. 95 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,520 But here's the funny part. 96 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:24,320 Before I did any healing or any looking at my past or any reflection or trauma work or 97 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:30,400 any of that stuff, I thought my inner critic was amazing and that I had to have it to motivate 98 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,400 myself. 99 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,320 I was like in love with my inner critic and it was so mean. 100 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:41,800 Like I really thought that like self like deprecating and being mean to myself was completely 101 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:46,480 normal and that if I were to ever like let go of that, that I would fall apart. 102 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,480 So I almost idolized that mean voice in my head. 103 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:55,240 I remember, yeah, and I obviously struggled with body image stuff a lot. 104 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,440 That was a huge part of my upbringing as well. 105 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,080 We talked about that, I think with family wounds and bot. 106 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:07,280 But just it definitely was passed down in my family to really, really hate ourselves. 107 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:11,960 Honestly, it was really passed down that we just like shouldn't value ourselves really 108 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,760 in any way, shape or form unless we're helping other people. 109 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:20,680 That was pretty much the only thing really praised in my household. 110 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:27,800 But I remember as I used to diet and like get obsessed with exercising, I used to have 111 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,560 the meanest thoughts while I would run. 112 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,200 I'd be like, God, look at you. 113 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,620 Look how bad you're doing. 114 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,440 You need so much more of this running. 115 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,160 And if I'd get tired, I'd be like, and this is why you're fat. 116 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,760 This is why you, because you quit. 117 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:47,920 Just this constant terrible voice about every single thing I was doing, pretty much shaming 118 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,960 myself through every experience I was going through. 119 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:58,720 But thinking like that was motivating, like just a screwed up way of thinking. 120 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:05,720 I really believe that, yeah, shame has like a very, very loud voice and shame tends to 121 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,040 really isolate us and thinking that we are like alone in our suffering. 122 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,880 And I had just a lot of shame on looking weak or looking less than. 123 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,480 And that really leads to kind of a comparison mindset. 124 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,400 I remember I used to look at my friends and be like, yeah, they don't go through half 125 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,920 the stuff I go through because they look perfect. 126 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,240 Like they have much thinner bodies than me. 127 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,400 People find them attractive. 128 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:35,120 And yeah, thinking that I almost deserve the problems that were happening to me because 129 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:41,680 I just wasn't given the same luxuries as other people, which is completely BS. 130 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,300 And everyone feels that way in some category of their life. 131 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,300 You can't beat it. 132 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:50,520 So even when I lost weight, the voice would find something else to compare. 133 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,400 Like I remember when I was single, I would look at people and be like, well, life's obviously 134 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,240 easy for them because they have a partner. 135 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,480 Like how lucky for them to have someone that loves them. 136 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:05,760 Just it would creep into every single aspect of my life to avoid me looking at my own pain, 137 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:11,120 but finding a reason why everyone else is so happy and I'm suffering. 138 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:18,440 That's when we explain that people are mirrors and how what you deflect on other people is 139 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,000 actually a reflection of how you see yourself. 140 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,840 So absolutely. 141 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:28,080 And I think what I've seen shift the most, my inner critic still comes. 142 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:33,440 And as you said, like it's definitely way less loud and way less frequent. 143 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,800 But I think one of the other big shifts I noticed is I used to be a pretty judgmental 144 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,800 person. 145 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,960 I used to look out, obviously thinking those things about even close friends of mine is 146 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:47,040 like, I mean, it was not the best way of thinking. 147 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,520 Instead of looking at their highlights and hyping people up around me, I was constantly 148 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,800 using them to compare my self worth. 149 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,400 But I also was so judgmental. 150 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,000 I remember I used to look at people and think, well, that person's like way weirder than 151 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:06,800 me or people think they're weird or yeah, you know, it's it's it all comes in the comparison 152 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:07,800 mindset. 153 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,480 But yeah, judgmental voice has like pretty much been eliminated. 154 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,640 I was going out before we started. 155 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,760 I feel like pretty much anyone can do anything now. 156 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,920 And I'm like, ah, OK, cool. 157 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:19,920 That's their take. 158 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:25,800 It's just like so much more compassion towards others because I have it for myself. 159 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:26,800 Mm hmm. 160 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,800 Mm hmm. 161 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,080 Like, I love that for you, no matter what it is. 162 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,840 Yeah, I do. 163 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,200 I really feel that way. 164 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,320 And I definitely did not for a long time. 165 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,600 Yeah, I feel that. 166 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:45,480 And as you were speaking, I had kind of like an aha moment with what you were sharing. 167 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,040 And OK, you ready for that? 168 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,680 Give it to me. 169 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:55,640 I think that people are afraid of loving themselves. 170 00:10:55,640 --> 00:11:03,260 Yeah, I think that a lot of people are afraid of like what that will mean and being so closely 171 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:09,840 identified with the inner critic and with that voice that's like putting others down, 172 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:14,520 putting yourself down that like it's like a whole new identity. 173 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,560 And that's scary. 174 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,760 And there's a lot of fear tied to that. 175 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:25,040 And there's also like how how many times have you looked at a woman who loves herself or 176 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,600 a man and been like, oh, they're cocky. 177 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,400 Yeah, you put people down. 178 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,400 Yeah. 179 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,040 Yeah, like they think their shit don't stink. 180 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:38,520 Like I remember my mom saying that about someone when I was growing up and I was like, first 181 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:39,960 of all, what's that even mean? 182 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:40,960 The seed was planted. 183 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,960 You're like, I got to say like that. 184 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,600 And I think that when they go to the bathroom, it doesn't smell bad. 185 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,600 I was like so confused. 186 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,160 That's literal thinking. 187 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,160 I love it. 188 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,440 Oh, my God. 189 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:02,440 But now I'm just like, OK, well, like, I guess there is a difference, you know, if someone 190 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:07,200 falsely is trying to be like, I'm the best. 191 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:11,800 Whereas if it's just a deeply rooted, there's no sense of putting that energy out there. 192 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,360 And it's just like an unspoken confidence that they emanate. 193 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,360 Absolutely. 194 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,400 And so I think the biggest difference to to tell those two things apart, self absorbed 195 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,040 is not self love. 196 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,760 And I think one of the biggest problems is the way that self love almost gets advertised 197 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:34,920 is to buy yourself certain things and to like it's very material focused and what you have, 198 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:45,080 it's really skirts along the self absorbed or yeah, kind of ego, ego based way of thinking. 199 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:51,160 I think the big difference between when you're truly cultivating a sense of self love is 200 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,160 that that sense of compassion. 201 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,400 And let me share like a little definition I had wrote down. 202 00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:00,920 But compassion involves learning to allow ourselves to move gently towards what scares 203 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,640 us. 204 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:07,720 And so that is the trick with it is like almost looking at that emotional distress without 205 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:13,520 having this aversion to it and learning to, as we've said many times, like embrace our 206 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,020 shadows. 207 00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:21,240 Another little definition I wrote was compassion is often best defined as an awareness of our 208 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:27,480 imperfections that leads us to the ability to be patient with other people's imperfections 209 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,580 and our own. 210 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:37,320 And so if the voice of self love is making you look at others more harshly, perhaps it's 211 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:45,400 maybe not that full compassionate sense of self love and more yeah, maybe self seeking 212 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:51,320 or like self elevating, which if you're elevating self, then you're putting self on a pedestal 213 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,120 and not bringing others with you. 214 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:58,200 I think true self love embodies an extension of that love and compassion to the people 215 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,680 around you too and you see that difference definitely. 216 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,680 So agree. 217 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,520 Yes, I love that definition too. 218 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,240 It's really, really nice. 219 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:12,980 So we want to help you with some tools that lead way to self compassion. 220 00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:18,280 Something that really has helped me along my journey is being able to identify that 221 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:23,880 inner critic of mine, that part of me that gets loud and brings me down when I'm having 222 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:29,720 like a pretty good day and then all of a sudden like that inner self gets really just like 223 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,000 boisterous. 224 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:37,920 And then the feelings of shame, guilt, fear, worthlessness all settle in and I know I'm 225 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:38,920 not unique. 226 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:45,720 I know we all have this and I think that's also kind of freeing is like, it's not just 227 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,720 one person. 228 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,480 Like, it's not just you, we all have this and that's a little humbling. 229 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,120 So here's some steps. 230 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,400 One that's really helped me is to name it. 231 00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:04,760 So when you identify this negative like voice that's bringing you down, like call it something. 232 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:10,360 I'm doing this with one of my clients right now and I'm just going to say her name because 233 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,600 you don't know her. 234 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600 You know her. 235 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:18,200 But she's named this voice stinky Sarah and her name is Sarah. 236 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:23,080 And she came to that name because in the moment she was like, this will make me laugh one 237 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,080 I say it. 238 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,400 Yeah, which extends compassion already. 239 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,000 Like, yeah, I love that. 240 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,000 And so it's like a loving relationship that you extend. 241 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,200 It's like a hand of like, okay, stinky Sarah, I see you. 242 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,440 I hear you. 243 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,400 What's going on? 244 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,600 So that's step one is to name it. 245 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,380 Step two is to write down its personality traits. 246 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:48,760 So think about what's happening in your life when it gets loud. 247 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:56,520 Maybe its personality traits are like to protect you, to make you feel like, you know, sometimes 248 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,000 it's good and sometimes it's not good. 249 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,200 So just take a look at when it gets loud. 250 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,680 Maybe it's when you're numbing out. 251 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,320 Maybe it's when you're having a lot of screen time. 252 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:09,720 Maybe it's when you're feeling guilt for not doing something that you said you would. 253 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,920 Maybe it's when you're comparing yourself to someone else. 254 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,300 That's when it gets really loud for me is like the comparison game. 255 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,800 So that's really common. 256 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,800 Yeah. 257 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:23,920 And what you said, thought that triggered when you are working on kind of hearing the 258 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,160 voice and what it sounds like, what it usually says and what's happening when that voice 259 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,360 gets louder. 260 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:35,120 I like to also like think of I used to be fine with that voice for current version of 261 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:40,560 myself, but I think that's really the key to like inner child healing that you hear 262 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,960 talked about a lot too. 263 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:47,440 I like to picture like, okay, so if my inner critic is telling the current version of myself 264 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,760 this, what would I like to say to little Jen? 265 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,640 And it kind of helps me compartmentalize. 266 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:57,280 Like I would never let little Jen hear half the stuff that the inner critic is saying 267 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,580 to current Jen. 268 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:03,000 So I like to see that as almost two separate things too. 269 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,260 And then when I, that I guess that's helped me develop a sense of self compassion is when 270 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,920 I could be like, God, if I told little Jen, like God, you're such an idiot for saying 271 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,600 that, like now everyone's going to think you're stupid and you don't deserve to lead anybody 272 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:21,880 or whatever the voice says, what would little Jen need to hear about those feelings that 273 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:22,880 are coming up? 274 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,080 And often when we see that inner child, I feel like the voice kind of loses all of its 275 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,080 power. 276 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,080 Yeah. 277 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,520 I'm thinking of it. 278 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,520 Yes. 279 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,160 Inner child work is definitely a big part of this because when you can see yourself 280 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,560 as that younger version, it's like, you can't yell at a kid. 281 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,560 Yeah. 282 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,400 It's just like they're automatically more innocent and there's a sweetness to it. 283 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,600 And you just automatically go into that space of compassion. 284 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,920 So that can be a part of this too. 285 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,440 What does this inner critic of yours look like? 286 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,600 So try to really personify it. 287 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:55,760 What do they sound like? 288 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:00,640 Do they have a deep voice or is it kind of shrill? 289 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,040 And what's their age? 290 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,000 I think this one's really important because of like what you said, chances are your inner 291 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,640 critic might not be a little kid. 292 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:15,000 For me, it's more of a teenager, those middle school years that middle schoolers are just 293 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 so nasty. 294 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 Yeah. 295 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,400 Like the nastiest of the ages in my experience. 296 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,280 I think it's a voice of a parent a lot of times too. 297 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:28,360 Like what, yeah, maybe an old version of yourself was receiving as a message, like definitely 298 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,320 comes from like an older, more dominant person for me usually. 299 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,320 Yeah. 300 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,640 And like you were just saying, Jen, like establish a relationship with it. 301 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,640 Yeah. 302 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:44,600 So talk to this inner critic of yours as yourself now, as your highest self, your true 303 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,560 self and ask it like, what's going on? 304 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:55,000 So when you can pause and have these moments of awareness, like that will feel like a massive 305 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,080 step forward. 306 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:01,040 Even just like having that moment once you've identified it. 307 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:06,000 And from there, give yourself a whole lot of grace. 308 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:11,700 Like you have this moment of hardship, you identify where it's coming from, what it looks 309 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:18,480 like, and then it's easier to move on to like let yourself feel that and then be like, okay, 310 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,320 that was what it was and it taught me something. 311 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,320 And now I'm back. 312 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,320 Yes. 313 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,320 Beautiful. 314 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,320 Love that. 315 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,480 And yeah, to chime in on a couple more. 316 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:33,080 If you've studied the work of Brene Brown, she is one of my favorites. 317 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:38,760 I read her books, almost all of her books, I believe, but she talks a lot about shame. 318 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,320 She was, she calls herself a shame researcher. 319 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:45,240 She really studied what shame looks like for different people. 320 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,320 And as we said, shame tends to like isolate and pull you back. 321 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,480 I think one of the most important things to cultivate a sense of self love, first of all, 322 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,980 is the awareness that we all are going through this. 323 00:19:55,980 --> 00:20:00,920 So yeah, knowing that that voice in your head is not just exclusive to you. 324 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,120 This is something that everyone kind of struggles with. 325 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:09,760 And so even with that, you can extend some compassion because yeah, you're not crazy 326 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,720 for having this kind of awkward relationship with yourself. 327 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:20,200 And that already is like a huge relief because I remember I really thought from a outside 328 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,320 view that everyone else had not had some of these negative feelings. 329 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,320 I really, really thought that for a very long time. 330 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:32,600 I don't think it was until really I went to a really big yoga event for the first time 331 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:39,280 where I actually saw people in their shadow side, like screaming, yelling, crying, but 332 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:44,760 it was all released and just hearing the thoughts of what people have struggled with based on 333 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,280 different traumatic experiences and stuff. 334 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:53,920 And just knowing that I was able to look at all of them and be a friend for them in those 335 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,920 moments. 336 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:59,760 Like I knew how much I needed to be a friend to myself as well and that I wasn't alone 337 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,400 in my ugly feelings. 338 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,420 So that helped me extend self love to that. 339 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:08,360 So a couple of practices that I regularly do. 340 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:12,960 I'm a big fan of mirror work. 341 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:18,520 I really tried to slowly develop a relationship with being able to look at myself in the mirror 342 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:23,880 and either talk out loud and try to say really positive things, which at first used to make 343 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,560 me feel like I was going to throw up. 344 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,880 That's how big of an aversion I had to hearing positive words. 345 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:36,120 And as we kind of unpacked, probably because I loved my inner self-critic so much and I 346 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:42,160 felt like if I accidentally gave myself too much leeway or softness that I would completely 347 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,160 fail as a human. 348 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,680 I think I really believed that. 349 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,880 So yeah, sitting in the mirror and slowly practicing, like hearing myself say words 350 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,480 and absorb it and slowly integrate longer amounts of time on that. 351 00:21:55,480 --> 00:22:00,480 And even just sitting in silence and locking eyes with myself in the mirror. 352 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,040 You can dance in front of the mirror. 353 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,680 You can even practice like standing naked in front of the mirror. 354 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,440 That's definitely more advanced. 355 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:13,400 But yeah, hey, hey, just get it all done real quick. 356 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,680 But yeah, it's slowly looking at pieces that you love and why. 357 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:22,440 And if it's really hard to look at the current version of yourself, maybe envision young 358 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,960 you and what you really needed to hear. 359 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,280 Because it's all those versions. 360 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,960 I've heard it said this way. 361 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,920 Every single age you have lived is still within you. 362 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,560 It's a bunch of different versions of yourself. 363 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,320 Still played into your body. 364 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,480 So working on even extending love to a past version of yourself so you can slowly build 365 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,080 a relationship to the current version of you is a great place to start. 366 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,480 Yes, I love this so much. 367 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:51,840 I have another idea for you all another tool to help with self compassion. 368 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,500 And it's called exposure therapy. 369 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:59,100 This is something that I've practiced myself and something I also help my coaching clients 370 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,940 and health coaching with. 371 00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:05,000 But it's basically like coming up with your list of fears, right? 372 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,520 Not a fun activity, but something that we should all know. 373 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,160 Like, what are you afraid of? 374 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,320 Like, oh, I don't know. 375 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,400 Like, yes, we should know this off the top of our heads, I'd say. 376 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,200 At least some of them, right? 377 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,200 Maybe not everything. 378 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:21,880 But for me, I am deeply afraid of water, which is like really weird. 379 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,000 But like being in deep open water. 380 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Yes. 381 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,600 And also just being on boats. 382 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:34,640 Like I was stung by a jellyfish when I was a kid and I was in Greece and there was someone 383 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,400 said pee on her. 384 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,720 And I just remember this man coming over about to pee on me. 385 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,200 I was like, no, traumatized. 386 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:50,840 And so that experience has become like such a trigger for me. 387 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,520 Now it's just like rooted in the water. 388 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,520 Great story. 389 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,520 Sorry about your trauma. 390 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,520 Sorry about your trauma. 391 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,520 Thank you. 392 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,520 Thank you. 393 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,520 Holding space. 394 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,520 Oh my God. 395 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,520 That's hilarious. 396 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:05,520 We can laugh. 397 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,520 We can laugh now. 398 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:11,680 But something I've worked on with this is to expose myself to water and not let it hold 399 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:18,120 me back from things that like would normally be fun or is fun to other people. 400 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:23,800 So examples, a group of my friends, we all went camping a couple of years ago and everyone 401 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,240 wanted to rent a pontoon boat for the day and everyone was stoked. 402 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:33,080 No one would think that like this would be a problem for anyone at me. 403 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:38,040 So I was like, sure, I'll rent a pontoon boat. 404 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,660 Like Kyle, my husband was like, you sure? 405 00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:42,200 You sure you're going to be okay with this? 406 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:47,220 I was like, yeah, I can't just be the only one not doing this while everyone's out having 407 00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:48,220 fun. 408 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:51,480 Like that would make me feel just as bad or probably worse. 409 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,600 So I did it. 410 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:57,180 The whole time I was like clenching onto the seat in the back because there were waves. 411 00:24:57,180 --> 00:25:02,040 But after the fact, you know, there were moments where I was able to have some fun and I'm 412 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,200 really proud of myself for doing it. 413 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:11,000 And whenever I do these things, my husband's usually with me and he usually tells me, because 414 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000 you're a brave little toaster. 415 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000 And that's a good thing. 416 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:19,960 And I like get this like childlike joy in hearing that now of like, I'm a brave little 417 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,960 toaster. 418 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:25,660 I love that now when I'm like either going to the doctor's and I have to get a shot. 419 00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:30,960 That's one of my other big fears and triggers that I have to expose myself to. 420 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,040 Don't have as much of a choice, especially with the COVID vaccine. 421 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,120 I did that. 422 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,840 And I just like tell myself like, I'm a brave little toaster. 423 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,840 I'm doing it. 424 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:39,920 I'm doing it. 425 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,520 And so exposing yourself in those ways, but also lesser ways. 426 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:49,140 Like if you don't like a part of your body, like for me, it's always been my legs. 427 00:25:49,140 --> 00:25:55,020 I would purposefully for a whole summer wear shorts, like most days out in public, which 428 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:59,560 is something before that I never dreamed of doing before I heard about this idea. 429 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,880 And then what that does is it shows you that it's going to be okay. 430 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:09,480 You start to build that trust in yourself and in the world that like nothing bad's going 431 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,320 to happen when you do the thing that you're afraid of. 432 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,080 And yeah, courage and vulnerability. 433 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:20,480 Those are the two things as you were talking that definitely reign true and all the research 434 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,640 on shame and what shame does to your body and how shame isolates you. 435 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:29,440 The answer to those things is a sense of courage and vulnerability. 436 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:34,080 And yeah, I think we see that as being like, I think sometimes we can create this image 437 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:39,240 that that's going to be like really big steps and impossible steps, but really little steps 438 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,640 make a big difference. 439 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:47,880 And vulnerability to me is just starting to share your story with a space that is safe. 440 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:52,560 So connecting to people that, yeah, maybe you search in your area, people that either 441 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:58,480 have gatherings or meetups or find a group that is into the same stuff as you and practice 442 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,720 slowly sharing sides of yourself that you normally wouldn't. 443 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:07,280 That is definitely what I learned from the yoga community was, you know, we take turns 444 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,160 around a circle talking and I'd be terrified or like, let me think of what I'm going to 445 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:16,680 say before, you know, all these like planning things and then just like speaking rawly and 446 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:21,800 just letting it be messy and knowing that I don't have to laugh my mistakes away or 447 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:28,840 like, yeah, think I'm a failure for not having the words come out in this perfect fluid way 448 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,120 that it's okay. 449 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:34,280 And there's not one person that has never messed up in the way they talk. 450 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,800 Like just it's a lie. 451 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,640 It was a lie that I had built for myself that my voice wasn't worthy. 452 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:44,680 That was a huge part of where I needed to extend a lot of self-loving compassion, but 453 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:49,160 slowly using my voice in small ways for those who follow me on TikTok. 454 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,080 Like my very first TikTok, I was like convulsing. 455 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,080 I was so scared. 456 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,700 Like I was terrified. 457 00:27:54,700 --> 00:28:00,840 And to the point where I'm at now, I'm like do TikToks all the time. 458 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:05,400 It's just, yeah, it's a sense of bravery and it starts in small steps and those steps 459 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:10,520 might be recording your own voice at home and listening to it back, dancing for a video 460 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,360 and then watching it. 461 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:19,160 It can be so small or it can be done with community if you have a safe space. 462 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,040 And yeah, we definitely are trying to build our community with Awaken together too. 463 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:28,040 So know that we are here and we know that this journey is easier said than done and 464 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:32,500 everyone's road looks a little different, but learning to become your best, your own 465 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:36,040 best friend is the most beautiful and worth it journey. 466 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,240 And I think it helps the collective at large so much. 467 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,920 Yes, yes. 468 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:41,920 Beautiful. 469 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,040 And that's, that's the point of it all, right? 470 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,520 You spend more time with yourself than anyone else your whole life. 471 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,720 So you better learn to love yourself. 472 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,720 Yeah. 473 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:55,340 And, and the opposite of love, I remember this blew my mind. 474 00:28:55,340 --> 00:28:58,080 The opposite of love is not hate. 475 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,480 The opposite of love is fear. 476 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:11,040 Cause fear drives division and hate and all like apathy and all of those really down feelings. 477 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:18,000 So if you can confront those fears and learn to trust, then the love comes more easily. 478 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 Yes. 479 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,160 Yeah. 480 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:29,120 So with this, we want to segue into, um, from this point of loving kindness into the topic 481 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,560 and the concept of meta. 482 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:38,120 Metta meditation in particular, meta meditation is a practice of developing positive feelings 483 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,680 first towards yourself and then towards others. 484 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,760 And I have a little quote from the Buddha. 485 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:49,840 He once said that unless we treat ourselves with love and compassion, we cannot reflect 486 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,000 the same on others. 487 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,880 Once we start experiencing self love and self compassion for ourselves, we can then show 488 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,360 the same to others too. 489 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:03,720 So meta meditation, it is near and dear to my heart. 490 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:10,880 For a part of my wedding this past year, we didn't do anything like in a church or anything, 491 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,720 um, you know, religious space, but it was really important to our families that we still 492 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,680 had like a spiritual aspect and it was also important to us. 493 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:24,020 So the common ground we found was, um, leading a meditation. 494 00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:31,080 So my good friend, uh, Shailen, she officiated, um, and led everyone through a meta meditation. 495 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,080 I love that. 496 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,480 It is very similar to the one that I'm going to lead you to today. 497 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,340 So now it's like near and dear to my heart. 498 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:44,440 And there are a lot of benefits to this, this type of meditation. 499 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,320 It increases self compassion. 500 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:52,380 It also increases focus and attention and a deep sense of emotional strength that balances 501 00:30:52,380 --> 00:30:54,800 our thoughts and actions. 502 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:55,800 Should we do it? 503 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,800 I'm ready sitting that tall. 504 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:58,800 All right. 505 00:30:58,800 --> 00:30:59,800 Good. 506 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:06,240 So everybody, please, um, if you're in a place where you can meditate, I love for you to 507 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,720 just keep playing this. 508 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:13,880 If you're not, maybe you pause this and plan a time where you can return to it and be fully 509 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,000 present. 510 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,080 Even if you're walking or driving, it's still a great time. 511 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:26,960 So please take the next few moments to settle in to your physical body. 512 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:36,800 Find that place where you can close your eyes if you're able, or find a soft gaze. 513 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:48,320 Just tune into your body, make any minor adjustments and then let everything fall heavy. 514 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:53,960 We'll start with a few minutes of concentration practice just to help our minds settle and 515 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:58,120 arrive in our present time experience. 516 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:05,360 So as you allow the body to resume to natural breathing, see where in your body you can 517 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:09,280 feel your breath. 518 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:18,360 It may be in your belly where you can feel it rising and falling as your body breathes. 519 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:24,320 It might be in your chest where you may notice the expansion and contraction as your body 520 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:28,840 inhales and exhales. 521 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:34,800 Perhaps at the nostrils where you can feel a slight tickle as the air comes in and the 522 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:40,880 subtle warmth as your body exhales. 523 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:46,920 You can pick one spot to stick with for this meditation practice. 524 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:52,520 As you feel your body breathing, try to stick with the breath all the way through. 525 00:32:52,520 --> 00:33:08,120 Stick with it from the beginning of the inhale all the way through the end of the exhale. 526 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,840 You may have noticed your mind wandering, and that's okay. 527 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:18,200 When the mind wanders, it really offers us an opportunity to cultivate mindfulness and 528 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,000 concentration. 529 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,880 Each time we notice the mind wandering, we're strengthening our ability to recognize our 530 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,520 experience. 531 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:33,480 Each time we bring the mind back to breath, we're strengthening our ability to focus on 532 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,760 an object. 533 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:44,880 So treat it as an opportunity rather than a problem, and just return to breath. 534 00:33:44,880 --> 00:34:04,040 You can begin the practice by bringing to mind yourself, as you sit here right now. 535 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:13,080 Try to connect with your own deepest intentions for happiness, ease, and safety. 536 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:18,280 You don't need to dive into what stories will make you happy, but rather connect with 537 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:23,180 that natural desire you have. 538 00:34:23,180 --> 00:34:29,100 You can cultivate this intention to open the heart to your own well-being by silently offering 539 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:32,920 yourself some phrases of Metta. 540 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:41,460 In your head, slowly offer yourself the phrases, may I be happy? 541 00:34:41,460 --> 00:34:45,240 May I be healthy? 542 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:51,160 May I be free? 543 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:57,520 You can offer these phrases silently in your head, saying them slowly enough that you can 544 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:13,120 connect with their meaning and the intention behind them. 545 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:17,320 You can now bring to mind a good friend. 546 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:25,940 This may be a loved one, a teacher, a mentor, or maybe even a pet. 547 00:35:25,940 --> 00:35:32,560 You can connect with your natural desire to see this being happy and at ease. 548 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:41,720 Just like you, they also want to be happy, to feel safe, and to be healthy. 549 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:47,800 In an effort to cultivate this intention of kindness, you can offer this being a few phrases 550 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,700 of Metta. 551 00:35:50,700 --> 00:35:54,320 May you be happy? 552 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:58,020 May you be healthy? 553 00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:20,100 May you be free? 554 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:28,700 As you let this soul go from your mind, bring to mind a neutral person. 555 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:35,520 This is someone you see maybe regularly but don't know very well. 556 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:44,920 It might be somebody who works somewhere you go a lot, a coworker, maybe a neighbor. 557 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:51,480 And although you don't know this person well, you can also recognize that this person wants 558 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,760 to be happy as well. 559 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,760 You don't need to know what their happiness looks like necessarily. 560 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:07,540 Again, offer this person the phrases of loving kindness, connecting with the intention to 561 00:37:07,540 --> 00:37:11,440 care about their well-being. 562 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,680 May you be happy? 563 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,180 May you be healthy? 564 00:37:18,180 --> 00:37:37,300 May you be free? 565 00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:46,320 And as you let this neutral person go, bring to mind somebody who you find difficult. 566 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:53,140 You may not want to pick the most difficult person in your life, instead choosing someone 567 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:59,320 who is minorly difficult. 568 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:06,060 Maybe it's someone you find yourself agitated with or annoyed by. 569 00:38:06,060 --> 00:38:13,380 You can offer the phrases, recognizing that this is connecting with our intention to care 570 00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:17,380 for this person. 571 00:38:17,380 --> 00:38:22,340 Although we may not mean it wholeheartedly, every time we offer a phrase, we can make 572 00:38:22,340 --> 00:38:30,580 an effort with the phrases. 573 00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:34,060 May you be happy? 574 00:38:34,060 --> 00:38:38,580 May you be healthy? 575 00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:55,660 May you be free? 576 00:38:55,660 --> 00:39:00,820 Take a deep inhale through your nose. 577 00:39:00,820 --> 00:39:07,380 Open your mouth, send it out. 578 00:39:07,380 --> 00:39:15,440 Guide your awareness back to your breath, back into your body, back into the space in 579 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:18,940 which you're inhabiting. 580 00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:25,900 Allow your eyes to flutter back open and rejoin you in this present moment. 581 00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:26,900 Welcome back. 582 00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:28,900 Thank you, Kat. 583 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:29,900 Yeah. 584 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:35,820 So, I always recommend after a meditation like this to journal if you can. 585 00:39:35,820 --> 00:39:41,100 If you don't have a pen and paper handy, maybe the notes up on your phone or just think about 586 00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:48,660 how that meditation made you feel, what your experience was like, and what it left you 587 00:39:48,660 --> 00:39:49,660 thinking. 588 00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:50,660 Perfect. 589 00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:53,340 We appreciate it. 590 00:39:53,340 --> 00:39:55,340 I'll see you next week. 591 00:39:55,340 --> 00:39:56,340 Thanks everyone. 592 00:39:56,340 --> 00:40:03,140 I appreciate it.