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Hello everybody and welcome to a new episode of the Awaken Together podcast.

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I'm Kat and Jen isn't here with me today.

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For the first time we actually have a guest on today and it's my husband Kyle.

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Kyle is a music-making, rock-climbing, deep talk, loving campser, and he's also my partner

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in crime and in life.

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And yeah, I just want to give a warm welcome to Kyle!

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Hello everyone.

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So we're recording this episode on Thanksgiving.

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Jen and her husband and grandma are spending some time together and we're just getting

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ready to head out to our friend's house.

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So by the time you're listening to this, it would be Black Friday.

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So I hope today's topic gives you some joy and just inspires some new thoughts and conversations

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that you might like to have with friends or family this weekend.

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Today we're going to be touching on a couple different topics.

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One is science and spirituality and how they actually relate to each other and the others

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being healing and therapy.

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So to kick us off, Kyle, many people think science and spirituality directly contradict

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each other, with one being driven by facts and figures and the other being more personal

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and more rooted in intuition and feelings.

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But we've had plenty of deep talks over our whole relationship together where you convinced

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me that there are actually two sides of the same coin.

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So could you share a little bit about what spirituality means to you?

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Sure.

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Okay.

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I guess as it relates to science and all of that, so I don't abide by any specific religion,

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but I guess you could say that I am pantheistic, which basically means that you believe that

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God is everything and God is everywhere and like anywhere there is anything as well as

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nothing there is God.

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You can't separate God from anything else.

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It's not like a being or something like that.

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It's incomprehensible, I guess, what God is.

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And I see I kind of see God in when I look at the natural world and in my inner world

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as well.

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Our dog just came to join us.

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But yeah, I think it's amazing to look at how the natural world works, how the sun is

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actually this like giant nuclear reactor so far away in space and it gives us light and

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warmth and it lets everything on earth happen.

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And there's really specific chemistry and physics that kind of supports that and makes

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that happen.

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And I think that's amazing.

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I think that's something to respect and honor.

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And I think that's where the spirituality comes into it for me and how I think science

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and spirituality are kind of the same thing.

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They're not necessarily the same thing, but they go hand in hand because the scientific

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method is the best thing that we've really discovered to learn as objectively as we can

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about the world around us.

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It's the reason we have all the technology we have now without the scientific method.

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We wouldn't have computers, we wouldn't have cell phones, you wouldn't be listening to

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this right now.

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We wouldn't have cars, refrigerators, airplanes.

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None of this would have happened without discovering the scientific method and learning about the

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natural world.

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And so I see science in utilizing the scientific method in kind of your everyday life, not

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necessarily doing research, but just trying to look at things more objectively as a spiritual

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pursuit because you're kind of, you are, and coming back to pantheism, you're kind of,

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you are God learning about God in a way.

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Like we're all, everything is this giant, complicated system and you're kind of studying

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that the same way that like a Christian would study the Bible, if that makes sense.

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Yeah, just like a studier of the world around you and finding awe and beauty in seemingly

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everyday normal things that can get overlooked.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Pretty much.

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I love that.

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It's beautiful.

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And I don't think it's like too far off from what some traditional religions do say.

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I'm just thinking about Christianity and how they say like, God is in everyone.

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You know, your brothers and sisters or everyone around you see Jesus in them.

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But I think that part of religion gets looked over at least in many societies.

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Maybe the people who really take the Bible for what it is and don't look too deep into

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it can see that.

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But yeah, I think it's a beautiful way to take that and also see it in just like trees

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and leaves and nature around you too.

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So I feel like if people really lived more so by that belief, then we would be, you know,

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we'd just be more conscious of the climate and like actually caring about climate change

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and the future of the world and be more into sustainability and everything else like that,

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right?

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We'd just be living with the earth instead of using it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I think it kind of for me naturally breeds just our respect for everything and how everything

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works.

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And it makes me want to just do what I can to understand what little bit of it I can

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understand and do my role in helping the whole system kind of prosper.

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And I think you kind of touched upon a point that I think is interesting too with both

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science and religion that both are there are kind of both just tools like science is just

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a tool to learn about something objectively or as objectively as we can.

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Religion is a tool to help guide yourself or guide others on how to live really.

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And both of those things throughout history have been taken advantage of for things that

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aren't so noble.

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I mean, religion you look at like the Crusades or I think it's common with Christianity at

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least to use the kind of religion as an excuse for homophobia or things like that.

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And then science has also been skewed too, like the whole science versus religion thing

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or I mean there's been times in history where people try to justify racism by trying to

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use science, which the science doesn't actually support any of that.

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But if you have people who aren't quite as scientifically literate, it's easy to kind

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of manipulate people in that way.

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Yeah, that's a good point.

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Yeah, the scary side of it.

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So you touched on this before a little bit, but I want to resurface it about how you are

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like a lifelong learner and with pantheism just being a student of everything around

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you with nature and just seeing God and all of that.

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Would you say that's how you practice spirituality?

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Yeah, yeah, I'd say so.

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I think even something just like going on a hike for me can kind of be comparable, I

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think, to someone going to church or something.

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A lot of the time I'll just be looking around me and just kind of being in awe of like,

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wow, this is like look at how this tree, right?

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Just looking at a single tree and looking at how incredible it is and how it's a home

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for so many insects and those insects are a part of a food chain that help to feed other

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animals and pollinate other plants and how interconnected everything is.

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And it's amazing, I think.

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Yeah, that oneness.

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I definitely resonate with that too.

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I've felt that many times just being in nature.

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And there's a quote, I forget who shared this, but it's something like, when you feel far

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away from nature, you probably feel far away from yourself as well.

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And that's because we are nature.

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We are a part of this world where if we're feeling so distant from trees or from grass

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or from plants in general, then there's that part of us that we're made up of the same

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things that maybe you're feeling like you haven't actually understood how you're feeling

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for a while.

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And so I think it's such a really great point to make and it can be hard in cities sometimes

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to feel like you have had that time to be in touch with nature.

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So any little tips even, because we've lived in cities, what have you done in those times

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to reconnect yourself to nature as well as yourself?

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What have I done?

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I guess house plants are always great.

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Lots of those.

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Yep, do.

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And I don't know, try to plan a trip to somewhere in nature.

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It doesn't have to be something crazy like you're in the middle of the Rockies or something.

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You could be just somewhere in the woods down the street from your house, depending on where

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you live, if you have that.

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Just trying to get anywhere where there's plants.

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Yeah, it's really simple.

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I mean, you can watch nature documentaries, I don't know.

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And I guess it doesn't necessarily even have to be nature.

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There's been times where I'll be learning stuff about space and I'll read a book about

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space or general relativity or something.

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The nerdy side's coming out.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And it's all related.

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Like I said, it's all one giant system and you're just learning about these different

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parts of the system.

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I think that's also valid for internal work too and getting to know yourself better.

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Like you said, we are nature.

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We are a part of the system.

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We are not separate from all of this other stuff as well.

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I love it.

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And something that you all probably don't know is that Kyle is the OG plant daddy.

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He takes care of all of our plants and we have a lot of them.

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How many do we have right now?

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Around like 40, I think.

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40, yeah.

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So if we've been to our place, we like to live in a jungle.

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But I think it's because of that.

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We like to feel connected with nature and just taking care of something like that that's

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alive and gives us fresh air.

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It makes the home feel nice.

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It does.

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Yeah.

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He does a great job.

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So when you think about this oneness, it's really frustrating, I think, to see people

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who don't operate in this same mentality.

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People who are so seemingly in it for themselves and don't seem to care about others around

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them.

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Thinking about people like that, what do you think causes people to lose sight of the importance

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of human connection and caring for thy neighbor?

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Yeah.

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I think what I've been more inclined to say recently is just trauma, I think.

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Repressed or unhealed trauma or just kind of like being misguided by what actually matters

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in life.

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I think both of those things.

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I think there's a lot of people who fit into at least one of those categories.

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I mean, I do.

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I'm always learning and trying to heal from my own traumas and difficulties, but I'm not

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perfect.

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I think everyone probably fits into that camp to some extent.

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I guess probably one of those.

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I think there's a saying that I like that it goes, hurt people, hurt people, meaning

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people who are hurt, hurt other people.

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I think that's really true.

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I think thinking about that allows you to have a little bit more compassion for people

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you might absolutely hate otherwise.

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You don't necessarily have to be a pushover about it either.

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You can still disagree with someone and respect their humanity in a way.

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Definitely.

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It makes me think back to when we lived in Boston, which is where we're from, Massachusetts.

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It seemed like people who lived there, and this is kind of like a East Coast mentality

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more so, I think people there are a little bit less connected even though people live

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closer together and kind of on top of each other in the city.

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There's that no new friends mentality and everybody more so keeps to themselves than

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they do out here in Colorado where we live now.

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Any ideas?

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What might attribute to that?

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I have my own, but I want to hear yours.

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I don't know.

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I think, I don't know.

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This is all guesses.

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I don't know.

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I'm not trying to judge anyone.

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One thing that I think is, I think there's a big time workaholism culture back there

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and in general, I think, in the United States at least and other countries, but I'm from

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here, so I know more about here.

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But I think there's a lot of people who are extremely focused on their careers and they

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see that as a way to be happier, be secure.

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Successful.

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Yeah.

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And because of that, there's just not a lot of time for friends and leisure and things

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like that.

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So you get your group of however many people and then you stick to that and don't focus

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on work otherwise.

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That's just one reason that doesn't describe everyone.

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Yeah.

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Now I think it's a big part of the picture there too.

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I also feel like when I was there, I never really heard people talk about therapy.

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We're all so younger then and now we're in our 30s and I don't know, I feel like everybody

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talks about therapy in our 30s and now we're just on this journey of healing and awakening.

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Whereas in our 20s, that wasn't as common.

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I don't know whether it was just us and the people we were hanging out with or what.

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But yeah, it seems like here everyone I know is in therapy and not boasts about it, but

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it's proud of that.

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That they're doing this hard, deep work and that they're feeling better, that they're

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feeling different.

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So thinking about you, I'm constantly amazed you've been doing deep healing work for four

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years now.

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So I'm wondering if you could share with our listeners how your relationship with yourself

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has changed since we lived in Boston.

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Oh gosh.

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Yeah, I feel like a different person in a lot of ways, but I'm the same person.

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I guess, yeah, it's been about four years since I've started getting professional help.

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So go back in time to when we were still in Boston.

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I was kind of...

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2017?

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Yeah, 2017 was my low year.

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I think I've experienced definitely some trauma in my life and I think I wasn't really dealing

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with any of that.

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Instead, I was kind of succumbing to workaholism and maybe my judgment on everyone else is

241
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:11,080
just me projecting my own stuff on everyone else, but I know I fit into that category

242
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,240
back then.

243
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:21,120
I kept thinking of if I work harder, if I keep going, if I do everything right, I have

244
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,840
to do all these things and accomplish this stuff and then I'll finally be happy.

245
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,440
You would call me out on that sometimes too.

246
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:33,600
You would tell me that I always seem to think that I have to do this one extra thing and

247
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,000
then I'll be good and then I do it and then there's a new one extra thing and I'll be

248
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
good after that.

249
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,800
Yeah, who hasn't experienced that before, right?

250
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:50,840
Yeah, but I got really bad with that and I had a lot of things that were triggering me

251
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:59,080
and I was dealing with progressive depression and anxiety.

252
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:04,360
It was kind of low grade at first, but I think it gradually got worse over a few years to

253
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:08,280
the point in 2017 where I really hit a breaking point.

254
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:16,920
I was severely, severely depressed and I was having panic attacks a couple of times a week

255
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,760
at work.

256
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:26,680
One time I had a panic attack while giving a presentation remotely to about 200 people

257
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:32,920
and that was one of my least favorite memories of my life.

258
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:41,480
So I was in really bad shape and then I don't know, I remember one night just being completely

259
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:48,280
numb and feeling terrible and talking to you about it.

260
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:53,360
You started talking about how you've gone to therapy when you were younger and how that

261
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,200
actually helped you.

262
00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:02,000
So I had been brought up to think that therapy is only for crazy people and no one actually

263
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000
goes to therapy.

264
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,480
That's if you're broken.

265
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,800
There's a really harsh judgment on that.

266
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,800
And so I never-

267
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,800
Especially for men.

268
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,800
Yeah, yeah.

269
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,800
I think especially for men too.

270
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:17,280
Yeah, I think that's a really good point.

271
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:23,040
And so I really bought into that, I think, without even really realizing it.

272
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:28,280
I never really thought of that as an option or going on medication or anything like that.

273
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:34,360
And at this point I was desperate and I was like, I cannot live my life like this.

274
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:39,720
This is not, it's just, I can't do it, period.

275
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:45,840
And so I decided to finally try and see a therapist and I got on some antidepressants

276
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:52,960
for, I was on those for like two or three years and have been going to therapy since,

277
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,120
reading a bunch of self-help books and all that.

278
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,720
I don't know if I answered the question.

279
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,680
I'm just kind of rambling about my beginning to therapy at this point.

280
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,680
No, I mean it's a life experience.

281
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680
I think it's great.

282
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,840
But I mean, thinking about that journey and where you are now, how has your relationship

283
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,320
with yourself improved?

284
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,240
Yes, right.

285
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,760
So that's where I was.

286
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:20,320
And then over the course of the following four years of doing all this personal work,

287
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:25,760
and it's really like I'm peeling an onion and you think you get to one layer and you're

288
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:31,560
like, oh, okay, this is why I'm the way I am or why I have the trouble that I do.

289
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:36,360
And then you realize there's another layer under that and you got to peel that and it's

290
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,360
seems like it's that.

291
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,360
Crying the whole time.

292
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,360
Every layer of the onions.

293
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,360
Yeah.

294
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:44,800
Triggering more and more.

295
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:45,800
Totally.

296
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,800
Yeah.

297
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:55,600
But I think ultimately my journey since then, I have so much more compassion for myself

298
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:56,600
now.

299
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:04,040
I had an incredibly toxic inner dialogue with myself back then.

300
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:11,720
I would never talk to anyone the way that I would talk to myself back in those days.

301
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:18,400
And I'm just a lot better at not doing that and treating myself the way that I would treat

302
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,440
you or anyone else really.

303
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,160
How anyone deserves to be treated.

304
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,160
Yeah.

305
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,160
Yeah.

306
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:30,480
And I've been lately I've been getting into something called IFS, which I'm telling everyone

307
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,520
about because it's helping me so much.

308
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,460
It stands for internal family systems.

309
00:22:34,460 --> 00:22:38,480
It's really good for if you've experienced complex trauma.

310
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:45,600
So trauma, not like one or two big traumatic events, but kind of a long period of time

311
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,000
dealing with some stuff.

312
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000
It's really, really great.

313
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,800
I think it's great no matter who you are.

314
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,800
I'm convinced.

315
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,800
I love it.

316
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,480
And it goes on that philosophy.

317
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,000
I've learned all this from Kyle.

318
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,520
You know when we say a part of me thinks this.

319
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:05,240
It's like that's exactly we intuitively know about this system already when we say things

320
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,880
like that because it's the understanding that there's all these different parts that make

321
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,600
us a whole person.

322
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,600
Right.

323
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,600
Right.

324
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,600
Yeah.

325
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:19,440
And then when you're dealing with with trauma or traumatic events, some of your parts will

326
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:25,340
kind of morph into what are called protectors and they will try and protect other parts

327
00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:31,960
of you that are kind of typically these kind of like these hurts.

328
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:37,680
Usually it's like a hurt inner child or a very vulnerable low self-esteem or something

329
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,720
like that part of you.

330
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,160
And then you have all these different parts of yourself interacting with each other and

331
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:49,560
that are triggered by different things and they have different relationships with the

332
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,840
external world and with each other.

333
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840
It's kind of insane.

334
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,280
You can go Google Richard Schwartz.

335
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,240
He's the guy that kind of put the framework together.

336
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,920
He has a lot of stuff on YouTube.

337
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,200
It's really great.

338
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:09,040
And so that that has allowed me to really understand myself and how I operate and why

339
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:14,120
on a deeper level and be able to really feel what I'm feeling and understand where it's

340
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:21,080
coming from and and how to manage it without going into like a crisis or just feeling like

341
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,240
I'm going crazy and I don't know why.

342
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,200
That's fantastic.

343
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,200
Yeah.

344
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:34,440
Like, I'm just so proud of you, like you you meet with your therapist every week and like

345
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,960
I'm sure that's not easy.

346
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,600
But you're such a good student of therapy.

347
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:44,000
You do all your homework and I'm just I'm just really proud of you and grateful that

348
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:51,080
you want to do this kind of stuff because there are many men out there who still like

349
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:55,440
are in that mindset that you were in Boston of like this is for crazy people and women.

350
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,980
You know, it's not just men who think that.

351
00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:03,800
And it's just it's hard to even get on this healing path in the first place.

352
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,040
Once you're on it, more doors keep opening of different pathways.

353
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:12,440
You can take it and go down and different things resonate with different people.

354
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:20,080
But what tip would you give someone who's on their own path of awakening?

355
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:26,640
I would say before I get into that, you're talking about the struggle of men to it.

356
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:34,320
I do want to make a point to any any guys out there listening to this or or any not

357
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:40,840
guys who know guys that could use the information like like ask for help when you need it.

358
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,480
Like you like I don't.

359
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,120
For me, I totally bought into the thing of like you got to do it on your own.

360
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,640
You got to figure it out.

361
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:53,040
You got like you can't you can't ask for help.

362
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,780
Like you got to be the leader.

363
00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:56,160
You got to have it under control.

364
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,840
You just got power through.

365
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,080
And it's it's crazy.

366
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,640
No, that's no one can do that.

367
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,960
Like just ask for help when you need it.

368
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,160
Be honest with yourself.

369
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,640
It's OK.

370
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,260
Yeah.

371
00:26:09,260 --> 00:26:14,240
So I guess that's that's maybe some advice specifically for men and women who I'm sure

372
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:21,760
there are women who might need that message to or non-binary and all all across the.

373
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:22,760
Yeah.

374
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:23,760
Yeah.

375
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,760
So.

376
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:32,520
So tip, I guess I would say that I think my number one tip would be that therapy will

377
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,000
not fix you.

378
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:41,520
You are the only person who can quote unquote fix you, which I don't like that term at all.

379
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:48,160
But you're the only person that can create this positive change in yourself.

380
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,880
Other people can help you.

381
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,960
Therapists are really great resources for helping you do that.

382
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,840
But ultimately you have to do the work.

383
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,360
You have to be honest with yourself.

384
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,480
You have to be honest with everyone else.

385
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,360
Otherwise it's it's not going to work out.

386
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:13,120
You just have to totally buy into the process and and take a lot.

387
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,120
Yeah.

388
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:18,840
Take responsibility for yourself and and and be compassionate with yourself in that process

389
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:19,840
to like it's not going to be fair.

390
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,240
If you're going to be stumbling through the whole thing, I've been stumbling through the

391
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,660
whole thing and that's OK.

392
00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,400
That's what humans do.

393
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,920
And beautiful mess.

394
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:30,920
Yeah.

395
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:31,920
Yeah.

396
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:37,160
I tell my clients that at the beginning of our health coaching like journeyed together,

397
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:42,160
the first meeting, I would say what you put in is what you're going to get out.

398
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,400
It's the same in all areas of healing.

399
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,320
So I'm really glad you brought that up.

400
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:48,320
Thank you.

401
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,320
Yeah.

402
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,320
Yeah.

403
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,320
Of course.

404
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,400
Any last thoughts that you want to share?

405
00:27:54,400 --> 00:28:00,560
I guess I would say just I don't know.

406
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,360
I'm a big fan of being a lifelong learner.

407
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,360
The whole thing.

408
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,480
Think for yourself in question type thing, I guess.

409
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,800
And and really pay attention to.

410
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,920
I don't know what what's going on around you and within you.

411
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:20,840
I think presence and attention are very important things.

412
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:26,600
There are a lot of, you know, toxic aspects to our culture in the world out there.

413
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:31,320
And it's good to think critically about this stuff.

414
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:37,440
And and I think it's good to think critically about yourself as well, too.

415
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,800
And I think you can do that compassionately.

416
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,680
And I do it compassionately now.

417
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,400
And yeah, like if if something feels good, that's awesome.

418
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:52,680
And if you feel like it, maybe dig a little deeper and think about like, like, where is

419
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:53,680
this coming from?

420
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:54,840
Why does it feel good?

421
00:28:54,840 --> 00:29:00,960
And because I've found for me sometimes in the past and still currently something that

422
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,880
maybe feels good in the short term is will actually hurt me in the long term.

423
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:10,920
You know, having that chocolate cake for feels great in the moment.

424
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,520
But think about I feel next day.

425
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,520
Think about the big picture.

426
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,520
Yeah.

427
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,520
Yeah.

428
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:18,520
That's a little example, I guess.

429
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,520
But that drink.

430
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:20,520
Yeah.

431
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:21,520
Don't eat it.

432
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,520
Right.

433
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:23,520
You want it in the moment.

434
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,520
Right.

435
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,400
And I think that's a good example.

436
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,480
Where is this desire for this extra drink coming from?

437
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,760
Like am I am I looking for something else?

438
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:36,080
Is this third drink really going to help me have more fun?

439
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,160
Maybe it will.

440
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:42,840
But it's important to really ask those questions, I think, and try to understand where where

441
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,400
this stuff comes from within you.

442
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,320
Having that inner dialogue with yourself.

443
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,480
And I think it's how we learn to trust ourselves.

444
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:55,600
To grow that that relationship with us when we know that we'll continue showing up for

445
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:59,760
ourselves in positive ways and that we care enough to do so.

446
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:00,760
Yeah, exactly.

447
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:01,760
Well, thank you, my love.

448
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,760
Did you have fun?

449
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,760
Yeah, this is interesting.

450
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:11,800
I'm a little nervous about everyone hearing my thoughts and opinions.

451
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,920
But here you go, world.

452
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,920
Have them.

453
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,920
Have them.

454
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:16,920
They have them.

455
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:17,920
All right.

456
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:18,920
Well, thank you, Kyle.

457
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:23,280
And thank you, everybody, for listening.

458
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,280
We will see you again next week.

459
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,280
Bye.

460
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:49,160
Bye.