1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,520 Hi everybody, and welcome back to episode 10 of the Awaken Together podcast. 2 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:14,520 I'm Kat. 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:15,520 I'm Jenn. 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:22,560 And today we are talking to you about routine, ritual, and ceremony. 5 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,720 We'll go into what our daily routines have looked like personally for us in the past, 6 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:31,620 how we've developed these into daily rituals full of intention, and how the practice of 7 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:37,160 ceremony has evolved for both of us for better and for worse. 8 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,720 So Jen, could you kick us off? 9 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,440 What has your routine been like in the past? 10 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,480 Yes, such a fun topic. 11 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,240 And we have so many little side categories. 12 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,760 And this is also a huge thing that has changed on my spiritual journey. 13 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,960 So this is so perfect for Awaken Together because this has been a huge part of my spiritual 14 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,420 awakening where I can see such a difference. 15 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:10,440 So to go back into old routines, I definitely look back at my past and see how little mindfulness 16 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,680 I was moving through life with. 17 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:18,440 I was just kind of always in a rush and I think I was so out of present moment thinking 18 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,360 and I had never really realized I was out of present moment thinking. 19 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:27,320 But I think I was always like 20 steps ahead thinking of the next thing, which kind of 20 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,560 led to this kind of nervous energy. 21 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:36,960 And yeah, I had no sense of actual routine because of the panic of what's coming? 22 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,960 What do I need to do? 23 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:38,960 What's next? 24 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:43,160 You know, just such busy thinking. 25 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:47,280 I used to, yeah, I was a huge sleep in type person. 26 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:54,840 I always would sleep into the last second in college when I started really working full 27 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,160 time job and doing full time school. 28 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,760 I remember I would be the type to snooze my alarm until like the five minutes it would 29 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:07,360 take to just like throw my clothes on, brush my teeth and then grab whatever I needed and 30 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,920 head out the door. 31 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,120 And it's because I always felt like time was just slipping away from me. 32 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:20,120 So I would want to sleep longer, drag things out and it was just a very messy, scattered 33 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,680 routine. 34 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:26,680 And I think we were trying to think back to when my routine started to kind of have more 35 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:31,020 sacredness and more intentionality behind it. 36 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:37,460 And I think it's when I really moved to Denver that I started going, okay, so far my routines 37 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:39,800 have always fallen apart really quickly. 38 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:44,560 Every time I think I want to develop a better routine, it lasts for very little amount of 39 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,800 time and then it falls apart. 40 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,840 And then I have all this guilt behind it. 41 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,200 And I'm like, I can never stick to things. 42 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,320 I had a lot of that mindset. 43 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,280 I moved to Denver as kind of like a new, fresh start. 44 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:03,800 And it just really popped into my head one day that I really struggle with feeling like 45 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,080 I need to do things daily. 46 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:11,200 That felt like so much pressure for me that I started thinking, why don't I zoom out just 47 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,920 a smidge and think of weekly? 48 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:18,760 And so I started playing around with something that I call my happiness formula, where I 49 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:24,260 would take a whiteboard and put all the things that if I did in the week, I felt whole by 50 00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,440 the end. 51 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:34,080 And I came up with running or hiking, meditation, yoga, reading a book, listening to podcasts 52 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:41,960 and doing some form of lifting or kind of going to the gym and get that extra muscle 53 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:47,160 building that always made me feel like accomplished, like I was working towards a goal as well. 54 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,640 And I started setting up like little tally marks of how many times I would want to do 55 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:56,000 each of those things in the week to feel accomplished by the end. 56 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,800 And it took some tweaking at first, but I came up with this formula that if I do three 57 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:05,840 times, yoga three times in the week, if I meditate five times in the week, if I run 58 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:11,760 or hike three times, if I read a book three times, if I listen to a podcast once, by the 59 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:18,480 end of the week, I can feel a sense of joy, completion, happiness. 60 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:24,320 And so I would check it off as I went, but zooming out for me weekly was a way for me 61 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,960 to start adding a lot more mindfulness into my routine. 62 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,400 So let's hear yours, Kat. 63 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,240 Yeah, I know that's so awesome, Jen. 64 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:36,000 And I think that's such great self-awareness because it doesn't, it shouldn't look the 65 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,280 same for everybody. 66 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,280 Right. 67 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:42,000 And the fact that you were like, uh-uh, this whole daily thing right now feels stressful. 68 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,560 I need to do it on a weekly basis is really knowing yourself well. 69 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:53,840 And yeah, let me tell you too, like the amount of pressure that that took off actually ended 70 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:57,640 up making me make better daily choices too. 71 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:03,160 But it was the, yeah, it was that mental pressure of like, my days are just messy and if I don't 72 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:09,360 start living every single day right, I was bringing that perfectionism energy into the 73 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,760 routine so much that it was hard for it to become mindful. 74 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,880 It felt worrisome and stressful. 75 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,960 Yeah, yeah, that's everything. 76 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,560 It's like, that's what it's all for is to make our days better. 77 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,880 So if it's making it more stressful, then it's kind of having the opposite effect. 78 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,360 So really, really great. 79 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,640 How long have you been following your happiness formula? 80 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,200 It has been three years. 81 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,200 That's awesome. 82 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,200 It changed. 83 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,280 It really changed everything. 84 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:38,160 Honestly, for me, that was, it was huge and I started seeing so many changes in my body 85 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:43,680 and my energy with adding this in that yeah, my days actually did start to change too. 86 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:49,560 And I was able to then start sprinkling in even more mindfulness exercises into the day. 87 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:55,160 But yeah, it's set the foundation that I was really desperately needing. 88 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,160 It's so great. 89 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,500 Yeah, I resonate with that a lot. 90 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:03,280 So when I think about my old routine, I think about, you know, pre pandemic days when I 91 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:07,200 was going into the office every day for my old job. 92 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:12,320 And I just remember really similar to you, like my alarm would go off and I would maybe 93 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,400 scroll mindlessly on my phone for like 10, 15 minutes until it was down to the last minute 94 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,480 where I still had to do all the things before getting off to work. 95 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,280 So I was already putting myself in that rush, rush, rush mentality. 96 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:30,120 So I'd get up, I'd brush my teeth, and then I'd go take my dog Minnie out for a walk. 97 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:36,180 I'd feed her, walk her, and I made my coffee in the morning and then I'd walk her while 98 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:37,280 drinking my coffee. 99 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,840 So it was just like a lot of things going on at once. 100 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,760 I only had one dog, one hand for the leash, one hand for my coffee. 101 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,960 And so sometimes that would even bring some stress to me if like I had to hold her away 102 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,440 from another dog. 103 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,720 And I didn't even realize that. 104 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,360 Nothing like some stress to start your day. 105 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,360 Right? 106 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,360 Some stress in the morning. 107 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,360 Cup full of stress. 108 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,360 Stress. 109 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,440 And yeah, so that's part of it. 110 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:07,400 I would rush to work and then right away, like I'd have my calls, I'd be in my emails, 111 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,280 I'd see my teammates and be in conversations. 112 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,080 And I didn't really have any time for myself. 113 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:18,120 And it was, it got to a point where I was like, okay, I like my job still, but something 114 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,120 isn't working. 115 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,340 I need to make a change. 116 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:25,640 And so that's when I really leaned into thinking about my week. 117 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,800 Where in my week do I feel most myself? 118 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:32,320 And at the time I was doing my self care Sundays consistently ever since I graduated college. 119 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,620 So it had been like five, six years of that. 120 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:41,320 And I was like, okay, I really like how I'm doing this ritual once a week where I'm not 121 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,840 drinking caffeine, I'm wearing my glasses and then painting my nails. 122 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,640 Those are my three staples of self care Sunday. 123 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,640 I love it. 124 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:54,480 And so I was like, okay, well, how can I make this more a part of my everyday, more ritual, 125 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,960 more intentional? 126 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:02,720 So I started waking up 30 minutes earlier and I still let myself scroll on social media 127 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,800 before I got out of bed, but I kept it to the same time. 128 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:11,600 So that extra 30 minutes allowed me that time to still kind of slowly wake up in bed. 129 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,960 Then I would make my coffee and I had it before walking my dog. 130 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:23,200 So I made this space of like 15 minutes where I was drinking my coffee at home and I would 131 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,320 just mentally list off three things that I was grateful for. 132 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,080 Just being with myself for that time. 133 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,360 And then it was time to still walk my dog, still had to do that part, but this time I 134 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,360 had two hands. 135 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,920 And it's so simple. 136 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:41,960 It's so small, but sometimes the smallest things make the biggest differences, right? 137 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:49,080 Yeah, so I would then listen to either a podcast or an audio book that I felt was giving me 138 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:54,240 what I needed, a sense of purpose, a sense of centering and the calmness that I really 139 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:59,220 wanted to bring into the rest of my day from that place, that energy. 140 00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:05,040 And then I would bike into work, which I freaking loved because I just put on some feel good 141 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,760 music, bike into work, get my blood pumping. 142 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:13,920 And then I'd get into work about the same time and I'd have my breakfast there because 143 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:20,840 by that time I was hungry and just go through my emails and just feel like I had a bit of 144 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:25,160 a day before I had to throw my energy into my work. 145 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,160 That's good wording. 146 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,360 That really does change a lot. 147 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,720 Yeah, it really changed everything for me. 148 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:38,080 And just that little morning routine of waking up earlier, like you said, made me able to 149 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,680 shift and bring more things into my day to day, like meditation. 150 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,600 And it kind of falls into this idea of habit stacking. 151 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,960 Have you heard of that before? 152 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,600 I have read The Power of Habit, which went into such good stuff. 153 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,880 That's definitely a side notebook. 154 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,480 But yeah, go ahead and explain habit stacking. 155 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,480 Yeah. 156 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,360 So it's all about that idea of starting small. 157 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:06,360 So choosing one or two things that you're going to change in your daily routine and 158 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:11,200 sticking with that and doing that for one or two weeks until it feels like it's truly 159 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,200 habit. 160 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,940 You don't even really have to think about it anymore and only then adding little things 161 00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:17,940 in. 162 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:24,300 Yes, and that's so being appropriate to how the brain works and how our brain wants things 163 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:30,520 to become automatic because it's so much less stressful when things become automatic. 164 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:37,520 But it's really good to look at what you have made automatic and also sprinkling in more 165 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:44,360 mindfulness on top of that because there is a big difference in our automatic routines. 166 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:49,500 And then also finding that that mindfulness in the present moment and moving through that 167 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:54,320 versus that audit automatic brain being how we're fully running from the start of the 168 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,680 day to the end of the day. 169 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,360 There's definitely a balance between the two. 170 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,360 I so agree. 171 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,360 I so agree. 172 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:06,960 And just, yeah, having the energy to show up for everything and everyone that your attention 173 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,480 needs throughout the day. 174 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,040 It's all dependent on that. 175 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:17,100 Yeah, I was thinking like before I started really, you know, onto the spiritual journey 176 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:22,480 and caring more about how I was moving through life, I think the only time I actually knew 177 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:27,660 how I was feeling and actually paused and was like, how do I feel, would be as I laid 178 00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,680 my head to go to sleep at night and all of a sudden I can't sleep. 179 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:36,400 I feel, you know, I would feel the day, but it wouldn't happen until the very end of the 180 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,400 day. 181 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,920 And I didn't even perceive it that way. 182 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,880 But I would be like, why can't I sleep? 183 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,360 I don't feel great. 184 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,820 You know, I just wish I could fall asleep. 185 00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:51,600 But when I started changing the way I was structuring my day and checking in on myself 186 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,760 more, I noticed the difference at night. 187 00:11:54,760 --> 00:12:00,560 It's like some of the things that we perceive as, yeah, sleep trouble. 188 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,440 And some of the ways are like, my head just is so busy at night. 189 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,000 It's hard to turn it off. 190 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,640 Those things we can actually see a shift on as we start to change our structuring of our 191 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:15,760 mornings, change the mindfulness check-ins more throughout the day. 192 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,340 Not waiting till the very end of the day to determine how you feel, but setting how we 193 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:25,720 feel at the beginning of the day to move through the day with an intention that we've set at 194 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,720 the beginning. 195 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,180 A hundred percent. 196 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,660 It's life changing, right? 197 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:35,060 And it's starting small and then reaping the benefits the longer that time goes on and 198 00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,480 seeing how it changes different areas of your life. 199 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:43,600 And this is really probably the biggest thing that I work on with my clients in health coaching 200 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,320 is establishing this intentional daily ritual. 201 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,320 And it's different for everyone. 202 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,600 If the area of your life that you're wanting to see the most change in is physically, then 203 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:59,880 your ritual can be around like adding movement into your everyday practice. 204 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:04,100 It can be mindfully eating away from screens. 205 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:09,800 If what you're really wanting to work on is about anxiety or self-love, then maybe it's 206 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:14,460 establishing a meditation practice or looking in the mirror and telling yourself three things 207 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,600 that you love about yourself, even if you have to fake it at first. 208 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,080 It sounds crazy, but it works. 209 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080 Yes. 210 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:28,080 And so, yeah, I think the reason routine becomes hard to stick with is because routine has 211 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:35,040 not, as routine kind of gets pushed and we hear it, you should build a better routine. 212 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,620 What is missing from that is that sacredness. 213 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:44,000 And I think that's what changes as we tie this into kind of the spiritual journey is 214 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:51,120 when we start to bring sacredness into the space of routine, then it becomes more ritual. 215 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:55,480 So we were talking about what is the difference between routine and ritual. 216 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,040 And it becomes more of a ritual when there's a sacredness to it. 217 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:09,080 Like I want my day to be full of a sense of magic and a sense of wonder and presentness 218 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,440 and aliveness. 219 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,920 And I want that energy to be present most of the day. 220 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:18,880 That is what takes that kind of routine gets just shoved at us all the time. 221 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:24,800 We see like, add this to your routine or we see people advertise what their daily routines 222 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,080 are. 223 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:31,160 And I think that's what is the shift that happens mentally is I want sacredness. 224 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,160 I want to feel like I'm living life. 225 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:41,280 And so rituals, let's talk rituals and how the difference between what hops from ritual 226 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,620 or routine into ritualness. 227 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:48,720 And for me, one of the first things that I kind of added in on my spiritual journey where 228 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:56,560 I started adding a sense of ritual into that already slightly more intentional routine. 229 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,560 I started doing new moon and full moon ceremonies. 230 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,720 This was the first step for me. 231 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:08,480 And I had heard it described as one of my early new moon ceremonies I went to. 232 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:14,980 A lady was talking about New Year's resolutions and how as a society, we, you know, that's 233 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:20,080 very talked about set your New Year's intentions and try to move through your year with those. 234 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:25,240 And I don't think very many people ever stick to their New Year's intentions, but she described 235 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:30,400 it as if you look at the moon cycles and you honor those a little bit more, those happen 236 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,780 a lot more frequently. 237 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:37,160 So you get to do more check ins on what you want to let go of what you want to invite 238 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,500 in and the moon already shifts our internal energy a lot. 239 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:47,180 You might not feel it until you start checking in on those days, but you can actually feel 240 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,840 the energetic shift anyway. 241 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:55,520 So why not work with that energetic shift and let the moon kind of be your 30 day check 242 00:15:55,520 --> 00:16:00,680 ins and your more frequent way of determining what you want to invite and let go of. 243 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:06,400 So I have been honoring the full and new moons now for about two years. 244 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:13,560 And that to me was a ritual where I'm always like really not only reflecting back, but 245 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:18,360 also really writing down what I want to invite into my life. 246 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,360 Yeah. 247 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,360 Setting those intentions. 248 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,360 Yes. 249 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,720 I love it so much. 250 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:27,000 And that's so beautiful that you do that because that's probably, is that twice a month then? 251 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000 Yeah. 252 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Yeah. 253 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Yeah. 254 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000 That's so great. 255 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 I love it. 256 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,200 And I feel like there's some more work I could do there. 257 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:40,760 Like I honor the full moon, but new moon is another one where I feel like I want to add 258 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:41,880 that into my practice. 259 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,840 So thank you for the inspiration there. 260 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:44,840 Yeah. 261 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,840 Yeah. 262 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,720 Once a month is great, but why not do twice a month? 263 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:48,720 Yeah. 264 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:53,800 And they definitely come with different energies, but that's a beautiful way just to set ritual. 265 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,720 Whether you believe that the moon has a lot of influence on you, which I definitely could 266 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,720 prove to you it does. 267 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:00,720 Oh yeah. 268 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:07,360 Yeah, just think of it even as that is a way I can mark my calendar to add in a level of 269 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:13,240 ritual and check in with myself because, oh, this is a good share. 270 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,880 I remember another thing that I used to do as a kid, which looking back I think was such 271 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,320 a good idea. 272 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,160 It was probably like a little sprinkle nugget for my spiritual journey. 273 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:29,920 But me and my friends at the beginning of the school year, we came up with writing down 274 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:35,040 everything that was currently happening in our lives and what we wanted to happen. 275 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:39,640 And we thought it was so fun for the school year to guess who was going to maybe get a 276 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,640 date. 277 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:45,840 We would just come up with these fantasies, but then when we would reread, we called them 278 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,880 predictions. 279 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,640 We would write our predictions. 280 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:55,360 And when I wrote them, when we'd reflect back on them the next school year, so much of it 281 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,560 would be accurate and have happened. 282 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:03,840 And it was just so funny looking back because we never saw it as being a spiritual thing. 283 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,120 But it was. 284 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,960 And it was another point of check in. 285 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,800 Like, oh, let me write down what's currently happening. 286 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:17,200 Let me write down what I wish would happen with the next school year. 287 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,200 So that was a fun one. 288 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,200 That is so fun. 289 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,200 I love it. 290 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:27,160 And then thinking too about New Year's, going back to the New Year's piece of it and like 291 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:33,000 intention setting, something I've gotten to the habit of in teaching in my yoga classes 292 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,480 and creating for myself is a Sankalpa. 293 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:43,800 So it's very similar, but it's a little bit more intentional than a normal, like quote 294 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,100 unquote normal New Year's Eve resolution. 295 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:53,000 So a Sankalpa, it's an intention that's formed by the heart and the mind. 296 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:59,640 It's like a vow that you are taking in holistically, like what you want to bring into the New Year. 297 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:05,680 So rather than a typical New Year's resolution, which is, you know, they're typically formed 298 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,400 by the ego or senses or conditioning. 299 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,800 That's what we typically hear anyway of like, I'm going to get a gym membership and then 300 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:18,200 dropping off like, oh, all the New Year's resolutioners and by March they're all gone. 301 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,360 Like no, this is different. 302 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:26,560 Sometimes you are returning to it monthly or bi-monthly or even weekly. 303 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,920 So you kind of get to choose how that continues to show up in your life. 304 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:38,040 And I'm curious, Jen, like I know you're really good at like holding yourself to these practices, 305 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:43,800 but thinking about like some of our listeners and myself too, like what are some of the 306 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:48,080 things that you've done in the past to like hold yourself accountable to returning to 307 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,080 these intentions? 308 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:55,200 Yeah, I think for me, I mean, it's a little bit, I've always kind of been a head type 309 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:59,120 as we talked about that more logical way of thinking. 310 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,400 But I think what shifted was really feeling the difference. 311 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:08,240 And as I was saying, like I used to not even notice how I was feeling and that disconnection 312 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,760 was so strong that when I actually started feeling connectiveness, I think it became 313 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:18,920 so such a good incentive to continue with it because I could really feel the difference. 314 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:25,640 Like if I fell apart from it, the difference in my energetic body was so I could perceive 315 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:32,120 it so much more when I did more check-ins and I can notice like my more aliveness. 316 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:37,560 I just felt it and it became such an incentive that I could not go back to the old way of 317 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,560 thinking. 318 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:46,080 And that I think slowly the scale for that started really shifting for me that I just 319 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,960 started craving so much more. 320 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,680 I wanted to make everything sacred. 321 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,760 I started, yeah, I really started wanting more and more. 322 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:59,440 And that I think that is an effect of kind of a spiritual awakening too is that you really 323 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:04,360 start craving that more because it's such a connected, you can just, you can feel that 324 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:08,800 you're connecting to whatever sense of your higher power is because you don't feel like 325 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,400 you're just coasting through. 326 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,740 And I think that was my biggest incentive. 327 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:20,880 It's just like, why go back to feeling so crummy when I know what it feels like to feel 328 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,360 alive in my body? 329 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,320 Yeah, it just started outweighing itself. 330 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:30,440 But I do think we should talk about what disconnects us from, and this is where we can kind of 331 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:36,240 blend more into ceremony because as we were pondering these topics, I was looking at it 332 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:43,560 as why did we fall away from sacredness as a society anyway? 333 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:49,840 And I started thinking about ceremonies and some of our classic ceremonial stuff that 334 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:56,800 we do is we have wedding ceremonies, I think kind of baby showers, we think of funerals. 335 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:02,760 When we come and gather with a common intention, and I think this also has existed in a lot 336 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:08,720 of religion where we gather and there's a sacredness about it. 337 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:14,440 But I think what we started seeing happen, as I'm just pondering some of these, where 338 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:19,400 we started losing that disconnection from ceremony is I think we really started feeling 339 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:27,040 like they needed to be done a certain way, whether that kind of came in with the internet. 340 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,640 Weddings started feeling like they had to be done a certain way and that if they didn't, 341 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,520 then yeah, you were failing in some way. 342 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:45,560 And I think the pressures of just starting to take ceremony and feeling so much pressure 343 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:52,640 to perform it a certain way that we lost that mindfulness and maybe that tie into intuition. 344 00:22:52,640 --> 00:23:01,120 And the only example I can give when I was pondering this was I got very scared of ritual, 345 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:05,800 I think at one point, just as I deconstructed a lot of my religious beliefs and I started 346 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,680 figuring out how I wanted to stay connected to it versus disconnect from it. 347 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:16,560 I was thinking about communion and I used to be so scared that if I didn't do communion 348 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:23,960 that I would be full of this wrongness and I needed to do communion. 349 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,240 Otherwise it was bad if I didn't do it. 350 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:31,520 But now that I look back and I'm coming from a healthier place, that could have been a 351 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:38,440 very sacred thing of like, I want to reset, I want to invite a clean slate. 352 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:44,960 But I do think when we started maybe projecting fear in this right or wrong into these things 353 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,520 is when we've maybe lost or disconnected in some way. 354 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,520 Does that make sense? 355 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:51,520 Yeah. 356 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:57,520 And I think it can be traced back to the shift of moving from masculine energy to feminine 357 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,480 energy too, because the masculine way is very stringent. 358 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,320 It says, here's the formula we must follow. 359 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,000 We must fall in line and fit the mold and that's what's expected of us. 360 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,280 Whereas the feminine side is more intuitive. 361 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,520 It's leaning into that side of like, well, what actually feels good in this moment and 362 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,120 leading from that place? 363 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:27,000 So it's that empowerment to say, I know what the tradition is and for me, here's what feels 364 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,320 more aligned and I'm going to actually do that. 365 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,560 So I know for both of us, our weddings, we're very non-traditional. 366 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:35,560 I know. 367 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,560 Which is so cute. 368 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:43,120 When Kat just had her wedding, I was like, she really owned herself and I love it. 369 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:44,120 Thanks. 370 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:49,920 Yeah, even the littlest things, Kyle and I really tried to sit with, and I know you did 371 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:55,480 too, of we were considering even the names of our bridal party. 372 00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:02,560 I didn't want to call my wedding women my bridesmaids because I'm like, you're not a 373 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,560 maid. 374 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,160 Where did this term come from? 375 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:11,160 And I think it's easy to just go along with the status quo and to think about things that 376 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,280 are already laid out for you. 377 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:19,000 It's harder to sometimes sit with it and ask yourself, do I like how this sounds? 378 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,000 Yeah. 379 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,400 And what am I going to do about it? 380 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:25,480 And it's not that it's right or wrong. 381 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,960 It really is an individual check-in. 382 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:33,900 I knew how much anxiety I was going to have doing a first dance and me and my dad have 383 00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:34,900 social anxiety. 384 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:37,480 We were almost throwing up before our wedding because we were so anxious. 385 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,280 We were like a hot mess. 386 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:44,920 But I was like, why would two anxious people try to do a dance when we literally can barely 387 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,660 handle the pressure of being in front of people? 388 00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:49,200 And I was like, screw that. 389 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:53,600 I'm not doing that because that is not honoring. 390 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,420 That does not feel sacred to me. 391 00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:56,900 That feels like a nightmare. 392 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:59,320 So I'm going to have a talent show at my wedding. 393 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,920 I love that so freaking much. 394 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,280 And that's so you. 395 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:07,200 And I bet you and your dad felt so much more calm that day. 396 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,200 We did. 397 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:14,760 I mean, knowing that we were taking some of that away, like, yeah, that to me was saying, 398 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:21,640 I know that we've structured some of these ceremonial traditions around what a wedding 399 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,400 should look like, but it would not be me showing up authentic. 400 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:32,480 And as you care about the sacredness of your life, it is wanting to show up authentically, 401 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:38,320 not with this perception that if I don't do it right, then it's completely wrong. 402 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:43,600 Yeah, just going along with the motions and rather just being like, this is me and I love 403 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,280 me and I'm going to honor me by doing this. 404 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:54,960 And even like Kyle, we had a big conversation about our vows because our wedding celebration, 405 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,560 we were already married and we'd already said our vows. 406 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:02,200 And so a lot of people were like, well, why don't you just go up and say the same vows 407 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,200 again? 408 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,840 And, you know, we considered it. 409 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:12,100 But Kyle also has some really big social anxiety and maybe even friends and family listening 410 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,100 to this wouldn't know. 411 00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:18,960 But the reason that we didn't say our vows is for twofold. 412 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:23,440 One, we wanted it to be the real vows and we were lucky enough to have our videographer 413 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,640 come to our elopement and record those. 414 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,880 So we played our vows, like a recording of our vows while we held each other's hands 415 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:35,360 and looked at each other's eyes and heard ourselves say our vows from when the moment 416 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,480 it actually happened. 417 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:43,540 And this took a lot of pressure off of Kyle day of, and he was able to just be more relaxed 418 00:27:43,540 --> 00:27:48,760 and grounded and present for the whole day leading up to that and after, because we took 419 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:54,040 that time to make that shift and be in alignment to what felt right. 420 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,600 Yeah, beautiful. 421 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:56,600 I love that. 422 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:57,600 And yeah, that was huge. 423 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:02,520 So I think that shows both of our, you know, we definitely it's a it's a moment of growth 424 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:07,520 to realize, hey, I'm actually honoring myself and it feels freaking good. 425 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:12,880 And then the ceremonial aspect, too, like I think we need to remember that the difference 426 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,080 may be between ritual. 427 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,160 We were talking about this a little beforehand that ritual is kind of a little bit more of 428 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:25,920 an individual practice, but ceremonial is a form of gathering under a common intention. 429 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,020 But we don't need to feel that the ceremonial stuff still has to be done away. 430 00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:37,480 You can still honor, you know, the traditions in the past, but then still have it look different. 431 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,440 And that's OK. 432 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,400 It really is. 433 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,120 There's a beautiful magic that happens when you gather with a group of people. 434 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,740 And I think that's we're lacking a lot of ceremony in our life. 435 00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:52,640 And I think because people feel like it does need to be done in the right way, we don't 436 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:59,080 gather maybe as often or it's harder to find your people to gather into that sacred space, 437 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,080 even so. 438 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,080 Yeah. 439 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,080 More pressure is put on it. 440 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,920 And so it just happens less because people are more worried about, am I doing this wrong? 441 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,760 Whereas like if you're gathering with people and you're doing what feels right in the moment, 442 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,840 like what more could you ask for? 443 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,120 Yeah, a hundred percent. 444 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:22,960 And I wanted to share one other example of a kind of ceremonial thing that was kind of 445 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,720 eye opening for me when I moved to Denver. 446 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:31,640 Obviously, yeah, marijuana was legal and I partaked on and off. 447 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:37,360 But I also yeah, you can definitely abuse things and you can take it from being maybe 448 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,600 something that could have been good to way overdoing it. 449 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,440 And I signed up for this thing. 450 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,320 It was a marijuana ceremony. 451 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,120 And I was just like, oh, what a Denver thing. 452 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,240 I wanted to sign up and I was like, let's go check this out. 453 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:59,440 And we set in circle, which circle is very ceremonial anyway. 454 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,880 I love the space of a circle. 455 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,120 That's a side note. 456 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:10,640 But we set in circle and we passed the soil around that the plant had been grown in. 457 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:16,860 We took time to like evoke the senses, smell, pause. 458 00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:21,400 And then we set an intention on what we wanted the plant medicine to show us. 459 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,160 And then we partake together and we did it in a way that each time you were checking 460 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:32,540 in on where it landed in your body, where you were feeling it. 461 00:30:32,540 --> 00:30:40,560 And there was just this intentional like partaking versus mindlessly partaking. 462 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:45,160 And I had the most like spiritual experience with that ever. 463 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:53,140 And it really in my head like create a deeper change in how much I need to pause and slow 464 00:30:53,140 --> 00:31:01,200 down and add intention to these things that I could be using as an escape when in reality 465 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:09,080 if I flip my perspective with them, it could be invited in with a lot more magic to it. 466 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:15,180 And I experienced effects that I have never felt in the years of partaking. 467 00:31:15,180 --> 00:31:18,480 And it was a real changer in my way of thinking. 468 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,400 That sounds so special. 469 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,920 And where can I find one of these? 470 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,480 I want to go with you when you're in Denver. 471 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,480 Check it out. 472 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,480 Check it out. 473 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:26,480 Yeah. 474 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,480 Let's do it. 475 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,480 And we need it. 476 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,240 And I think, yeah, this is a great practice. 477 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,320 Maybe, I mean, hopefully you can find your people if you can't find them in your day 478 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,320 to day life. 479 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:41,680 And it is so lucky that we have the internet to seek like minded people if we don't have 480 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,400 them in our community. 481 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:48,000 But it's really important to find a way that you can connect and gather with people that 482 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:55,160 are going to understand the sacredness behind ceremonial gatherings and rituals. 483 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,400 And you can find your people. 484 00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,800 And it's really starting, I think all of this stuff is starting to elevate as we tap more 485 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,880 into the feminine energy even collectively. 486 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:05,880 Mm. 487 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,080 Beautifully said. 488 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,040 So well said. 489 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,300 And if you ever have any questions on like how to find your people, please reach out 490 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,300 to us. 491 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:19,580 We have developed some pretty awesome communities and we're always looking to grow them full 492 00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,240 of heart centered beings. 493 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,760 So we'd love to have you there. 494 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:28,440 And some resources if you'd like to dig into this work some more. 495 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:38,400 I have created a daily rituals recipe for joy that you can check out at www.catalystliving.com. 496 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,200 It's a free download if you scroll to the bottom of the page and there's a description 497 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:46,920 on kind of rituals like we talked about and lots of different examples and how to get 498 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:51,960 into habit stacking like we talked about before and an accountability tracker so that you 499 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:58,440 can really make this a part of your daily routine, weekly rituals and feel the benefits 500 00:32:58,440 --> 00:32:59,920 from that. 501 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,040 Awesome. 502 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:07,120 And I will also, I will share my little happiness formula thing on our awaken together Facebook 503 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,360 group page. 504 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,320 So I'll share that too. 505 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:15,720 And yes, this is a beautiful first step or doors are always open if you have questions. 506 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,360 Thanks for sharing the resource on your website. 507 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,080 Kat is awesome you have that. 508 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,880 And I think that does it for this week. 509 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,320 Thank you for sharing Kat. 510 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,900 Thank you for good conversation as always. 511 00:33:27,900 --> 00:33:28,900 Thank you Jen. 512 00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:29,900 Love you. 513 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:30,900 We'll see you all next week. 514 00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:31,900 Bye. 515 00:33:31,900 --> 00:33:53,560 Brigarys, bye.