Hello and welcome to the Awaken Together podcast. I am Jen and I'm Kat. And today we are going
to be going into trauma work. So first off, I want to share that no matter what we go
over today, trauma work is going to look and feel so different for every person. And I
also want to preface that I really believe that having a group of people close by, whether it's
a trauma-informed yoga instructor, a therapist, or just finding a really safe space is usually
needed to dive into trauma work because it can be very difficult to do by yourself. But we are going
to mention a lot of what this looks like, a lot of different ways to dive into starting trauma work,
and then share some personal stories about it and what has come up for us on our journey. So before
anything, I want to give a definition of trauma. So I think we're learning more and more about the
definition of trauma. It's constantly expanding because at this point, we're looking way beyond
just certain events and really looking at the nervous system and the way the brain is wired
based on certain traumas. But trauma can be verbal, physical, sexual abuse. It can be life
threatening accidents. It can be mass disasters. And now what's being more acknowledged is more
religious trauma, looking at untreated mental illness in our caregivers, and then also just
little micro traumas that can build up based on the way we were raised or what our surroundings
are looking like. Yeah, thanks for that definition, Jen. And I've shared about this a little bit in
the past about the idea of big T trauma and little T trauma and how actually it's all the same.
There's no kind of ranking that we need to be thinking about when it comes to trauma because
all trauma is just, it's valid, and it's all really equal in the way that it's processed. So
some people don't even think they have a problem because they look at others' trauma and say,
oh, well, mine's nothing compared to that. So they just never get it treated or never really dig into
it when really unhealed trauma, I firmly believe, is society's biggest, most unaddressed underlying
condition. Yes, big episode. 100%. Yes, this has been a huge part of my recent journey and one of
the top things that I have really delved into and tried to get to understand better. So yeah,
I have a unique take on all of this. So that has been part of why this is also interesting
because I've learned a ton about the nervous system with my lens of physical therapy,
but really dive in into the mental side of it and then also looking at the spiritual side of it
because that's been what's come up as I've taught yoga and dived into energy work and yes,
so much stuff. So when you go through a trauma, let's start with this. What is happening is that
your nervous system starts staying in this fight, flight, freeze, or thaw mode more often. So this
is the system that gets turned on when we're in physical danger. So it's actually there to protect
us, but the issue is, is that once you've experienced trauma or you had, you know, whether it was a
particular event or little traumas over time is our nervous system is activated and on so much
more often. You can become almost addicted to this kind of stress hormone and you're just in high
alert all the time. And I think a huge way to notice this is if you get set off by very little
things like your water spills and all of a sudden you're letting out 10 years of raft onto the
people around you because your nervous system is turned on trying to protect you to get you out of
there, but it no longer has a gauge on what's appropriate and not appropriate. Your nervous
system is just acting out all the time. Yeah, it's an overdrive. Yeah. So I put a quote, me and Kat
could not recommend enough. This is a huge book that goes around the spiritual community, the
mental health world, but the body keeps the score really words a lot of this. So I wrote a little
quote that I thought would really resonate with this episode, but we have learned that trauma is
not just an event that took place sometime in the past. It is also the imprint left by the experience
on the mind, brain and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism
manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way the
mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think, but also our
very capacity to think. Such a great quote in that book is so influential in, I mean, even healing
through yoga, which we'll get to, but the body really holds a lot of our pasts. So two different
classifications of trauma, the way that they manifest over time after the events have really
taken place are PTSD, which you might be familiar of, post-traumatic stress disorder, and complex
PTSD, which is a newer name. It's not even, I don't think it's even officially classified in
some findings, but the difference here is PTSD is linked to one event, one life-changing traumatic
event. Whereas complex PTSD is not just one event, but it's a compilation of lots of little things,
potentially over many, many years, that leads to this post-traumatic stress disorder. And it's
really, it can be hard to diagnose because if you've just had a whole entire childhood linked with
traumatic events and you're led with your nervous system is just on overdrive, but you can't tie it
to one thing, that can be really hard as an individual to say, I need help, because this is
just how you've learned to be how you are. It hasn't been something that shifted overnight.
You might just think, this is just who I am, right? And not get the help that you might need.
Yeah. And I think so many qualities that get equated to being like our personality are actually
a lot of unhealed traumas. I think if you look at it, once you have looked at the world through
the lens of trauma, I think you really start seeing that we have glorified these personality
traits that really come from someone really desperately needing to go into help. You call
someone a very high strung person or very nervous person, or they're very angry. They just get
frustrated very easily by things. And we just start blaming it on the person instead of feeling
like that could be a symptom of a very underlying issue that has needed to be addressed. And the
body keeps the score. They talk a ton about looking at the brain under an MRI scan and just seeing
that when trauma stories are brought up, the way that the brain is responding, it has such a
difficulty using both lobes at the same time to process the information. They can actually note
this now. And that has been where there's been a giant shift from kind of thinking that, yeah,
there's these PTSD symptoms and that maybe with some therapy, they'll be okay. But they didn't
have the actual understanding of what was going on in the brain while these people were struggling.
And I think now that we have access to looking at that stuff, the treatments are getting more and
more broad and there's so many more avenues to go down. One of the interesting things that I found
from that book and just my deep dives is traumatized people chronically feel unsafe in their body from
this nervous system. But there's also this huge link in not being able to process sensory and
sensation information correctly. So for some, even just touch is not registered the same way. So there
can be this link where you might not even feel the sensations appropriately or feel them at all. So
there's this huge need to drop back into sensations in your body and even recognize what sensations
should feel like and how you should process them. Because all of that gets out of whack when the
nervous system gets out of whack. Yeah, I mean, it makes me think like we are both obsessed with the
senses. My thesis project for my 300 hour yoga teacher training project was all about sensory
yoga. And we didn't even know these links before we've talked about that honestly blew my mind.
I know I'm so I am endlessly fascinated by this because I think both of us are yoga teachers. And
we both also you have your music festival background. I used tons of stimulation outside
sensory input, I think to calm myself down a lot as a kid. And my personal trauma is like, I really
think that mine came more I never thought my trauma was really worthy or that I really needed
help because I never had these. Yeah, as Kat was mentioning these giant significant events over time,
but mental health has just not been talked about until really our generation. And so I think for a
lot of us, our caretakers did not have the languaging, the communication skills, any of it to
really be able to pass down ways for us to know how to properly regulate ourselves. So I took a
lot of the sensory input and I really would use it kind of as my own therapy. But as I got older
and learned about trauma, I was like, I was really trying to calm myself down. I did it in all these unique ways.
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. No, it's it's so wild to think about. And I think we all need to give
ourselves a pat on the back for for being here doing this work. Because like you said, this is
newer stuff, which is just wild to think about, like, the trauma itself isn't new, but how we
treat it, how we handle it, our understanding of how it all works and how to heal from it, that is
new. And we're all here, passionate about how to do the work. And the good news is that the nervous
system can be rewired. And here's where the practices of yoga, meditation, dance therapy, singing,
and creative expression can really come in as an outlet for us in this healing journey.
Yes. So we know that yoga, maybe you haven't practiced yoga, if you haven't, we highly recommend.
But yoga, really not it's doing so many things, but it teaches us breathwork, which breathwork is
directly linked to our nervous system. So there are different breath techniques that can stimulate
the nervous system in different ways. But when we apply these techniques and notice how they feel in
our body, we can really figure out what works for us breathing technique wise. So yoga is not only
teaching us how to breathe, but it brings about so many sensations in the body. And if you notice in
a yoga class, the teacher is always asking, notice how this feels, notice how, yeah, notice how your
what your leg is doing, notice how your arm feels there, like it's just constant drawing in. And
that is where we can really start to develop that relationship back into our body. And that can be
huge for some people might sound very simple to some, but for some you'd never dive in and actually
notice what a sensation feels like in your body, especially when you've been wired to completely
ignore your body signals and messages.
Absolutely. Yeah. And to go back to breath for a second, I love talking about the nervous system
in yoga classes, because it's again, it's not something that everybody learns about. And we're
lucky to have that knowledge through yoga teacher training. But one of my favorite things to share
is how when your exhale is lengthened longer than your inhale, it sends the message to your
parasympathetic nervous system, that it's okay to relax.
That is the opposite nervous system to our fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Thanks for explaining that. And we also get the same benefit by hearing
others breath. So I always say take this breath for you, deep breath in, longer breath out, and
take this next breath for your neighbor, because they will receive those same benefits by hearing
your exhale being longer than your inhale. So you have that power to help yourself, but also to
help your neighbor in stressful situations, a friend even breathing with them can be very
powerful.
Yeah. And I that just reminded me I read a study, I need to fact check this truly. So take it for a
grain of salt. But I know that there was a lot of studies being done on collective singing and what
that does to people's heart rates. They were finding this giant sync up of groups of people that
were singing together that their heart rate would match up. So there's this huge link between
doing all of these, these things that really we naturally know to do as kids, but you know, these
these group activities that are syncing us all together, it brings in that collective component.
And I think that is huge for regulation. If we think of our nervous systems as being this kind of
inner wiring, then everyone has that inner wiring. And if we can all come together into a safe space
and feel safe with the people around us, then our nervous system will calm down and drop into so I
can do so many side branches off of that.
Oh, yeah, I know. I'm just like nodding so much over here. You can't see me. But I'm just like,
yes, yes, yes. And I think that's the magic of yoga classes in person too, right?
The magic. Yep.
Yeah. And going back to like creating different sensations in your body and being able to feel
into your body. It's all about that idea of interoception. So taking away the senses on the
outside, and being able to understand what your body feels like on the inside. Now this is
something to work up towards, it might not be accessible right away, but it can be really
powerful with strengthening the mind body connection. If you can understand like, what foods
make your body feel a certain way, like you're going to stop eating those foods. But without
that inner body awareness, that mind body connection of that understanding of, okay,
want to eat this food? I feel this way. Or when I smell this scent, I feel this way. Or when I go
to this place, I feel this way. It's all connected and like being tapped in to those sensations
inside.
Yeah. And meditation and yoga is doing that exact thing. It's teaching you to drop in
over and over and over again. But you brought a very good point up in that it might not be easy
right away. And I think this is a huge misconception. And that's why it's really good to talk to your
yoga teachers and talk to healers as well as your therapist and stuff about this. Because there's
definitely so many outlets. So if one thing hasn't worked for you in the past, don't write it off
completely. But for some, there's varied types of yoga, various types. So there's some
yogas that'll be a lot more calm. And that can actually be re-triggering if your nervous system
has been so used to being ramped up. You might not be able to do a very slow yoga class very
easily. You might have to work up to that. And same with meditation. Meditation is not always
just sitting down and being quiet. That can be extremely provoking if you already feel generally
unsafe in your body. Then closing your eyes and just trying to sit still is not going to be this
meditative thing. But there's so many outlets. So there's shake meditations. I love dynamic
meditation. That's a whole other experience. But there's so many different types. So you really
want to play with it and notice. And there is going to be a little sense of possibly, I guess
I can word it as, uncomfortable. Because when you haven't ever tapped into sensations in your body,
it's going to feel a little intense. But you don't want to be constantly re-triggering yourself.
Because that is not the goal of trauma work. You want to find a balance where you're feeling safe
enough to work through some of the emotional charge that comes with it. Exactly. And it is
worth asking yourself, how often am I being re-triggered by this trauma? And if that answer
is frequently, then really taking a step back, intentionally separating yourself from that,
creating some distance, whether you're being triggered by a person, a thought, a place,
a thing, anything, really getting to that understanding. Because your nervous system
does need that time and place to reset, to process, to be with it without just going right back into
the spiral again. So yeah, if your healing journey feels like it just keeps going backwards, you keep
really feeling like you want to make advancements and then you keep getting dragged back, you want
to look at those things. Because our body needs time to feel safe before we can sometimes re-enter
different environments or re-enter conversations with certain people. It's very important to figure
out what your triggers are. And so that's where a lot of the shadow work that's talked about in
the spiritual world, looking and journaling about the things that are provoking can be a really good
insight into some of the trauma that could be linked behind those things. And another topic I
wanted to go into, this is one of the most popular topics that comes up on my Senseful Wellness TikTok
page. But another really magical thing that happens as you start into these more dynamic meditations
or into various yoga classes is emotional releases. So emotional releases can look like
you enter into a yoga pose and all of a sudden you just start bursting into tears. And it doesn't
usually come with a lot of linked memory. It just feels like an emotion is just coming out.
Sometimes this can look like rage, like this feeling that you just want to scream. And I
recommend you do scream. And yeah, even sometimes laughing in yoga poses, these are the things to
note because it's the body just letting something out. And I think so often we get told to rush
past our emotions that when we slow down with the yoga and meditation, we are giving ourselves space
and time to feel into something that maybe in our regular life we don't give the space and time to
feel anyway. So it's dropping ourselves into our body enough that emotions are getting to come up
to the surface. So you're always safe to feel in yoga when these things come up. I remember when
my first one happened, I was in frog pose, hip openers and heart openers we say in yoga are like
usually the top provokers of these emotional releases just kind of coming out. But I was
actually in Aruba at a yoga girl retreat. And I had definitely I had already been teaching yoga
at this point. But I don't think I think for me, I'm a very logical thinking person, very busy head
constantly needing to do the work to slow my thoughts down. So I think in yoga, it's a constant
like stay in your body, stay in your body, stay in your body. So I think I have a lot more active
thought it doesn't it takes a lot for me to get into a full flow state of breath that took a lot
of years to drop into. So emotional releases didn't happen for me for a lot of years. And then when I
had my first like really significant one when I'm in this frog pose, I just cried I think for like
a solid like 15 minutes and I had no idea what I was crying about. But afterwards the shift in my
body was like night and day I felt so much lighter. I felt just like completely like a different
person. Honestly, have you had an emotional release before in yoga cat? I sure have. And oh, that's so
powerful. Yeah, I have two that are coming to mind right now. One was in pigeon pose. So another hip
opener. Yeah. And I remember this was early on in my yoga journey. And I remember just having like
really big takeaways and Shavasana often. But this one time I was in pigeon pose and it was maybe,
you know, double digit yoga class for me, maybe like my 12th yoga class ever. And I was in it and
my hips were feeling really tight. And I just let myself go a little bit as my yoga teacher then was
cueing me to just to be with the feelings and notice what was coming up. And I just remember
feeling really angry and I was feeling angry at the yoga teacher at first for putting me in this
pose. And then I saw that I was like, cat, why are you mad at this teacher right now? This is just a
yoga class and feeling a little bit of guilt and shame. But then like the next thing she said really
stuck with me and to help me understand it. And she said that we store anger in our hips. We store
we store heightened emotions there. It's one of the places that it likes to live. And so with hip
openers like this, like you were just saying, just notice what comes up for you, acknowledge that it's
temporary, breathe through it and let it go. And so I felt the anger. I sat with it. And then I
realized that it's because she was making me feel uncomfortable, but it wasn't her making me feel it.
It was what was actually in my body, what was being stored. So I did just that. And then afterwards,
after I felt the anger and I breathe through it, I was able to really let it go. And I felt so much
lighter afterwards, just as you're saying. And then yeah, the other times, and this has happened
multiple times that I've had emotional releases in class has been in Shavasana. So that time just at
the end of the class where you're laying there on your back and it's a signal of like you've made it,
this is the end of class. There's nothing left to do. There's nothing left on your to do list.
Nothing outside of this moment matters. And you can just be in your full presence exactly as you are.
Just be with your breath. And I've just really had moments where, you know, I remember specifically,
it was after my grandfather passed away and I was trying to just be strong for my family, for myself.
And I just didn't have to in that moment. And I just cried and cried and cried and sobbed and I
didn't even care who heard it. And it's a very healing moment for me. And I remember coming back
to my mat every day after that for a few weeks until the tears felt like they've kind of reached
the bottom of the well and it felt really liberating. Beautiful. And yeah, that is what it is.
Your yoga mat is your safe space. It becomes a mirror for you of how you normally respond to
things. It's giving you a safe space to it for the moment you're deciding to be in a class or
you're doing your own home practice. Nothing else matters but what needs to come out, what you need
to feel into and just regularly giving yourself that space is so the opposite of the way we're
taught to function of go, go, go. Don't give emotions. Don't be too emotional. Yeah, don't cry
in certain places. Don't, you know, don't yell too loud. Why are you getting upset? Why are you so
mad? You know, there's this constant doubt on emotions and how you're responding to things.
So creating that safe space where there's not that judgment, you're giving yourself the space
that whatever comes, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be with it because I never have been given permission to
sit with my emotions because we are constantly told just to move on because there's, there's more
important stuff in quotes to do, you know? And yeah, I think yoga and meditation we mentioned
are huge. I'm a huge advocate for just turning on a song, letting your body shake, letting your body
dance and then noticing after the song is up what is up. Do you feel like you need to collapse down
on the ground and cry? Do you feel like you need to grab a pillow or don't grab a pillow and scream
for like however long, whatever comes up because often when we shake we're kind of stirring up the
nervous system in a way and dancing can do that same thing. And so finding an outlet then to let
out whatever it is or maybe you take your journal and it brings up a ton of thoughts and memories.
I think shaking has a huge link and surfacing stuff up. Another huge homework assignment
is really finding a safe place to share your story. I think we have to be a little careful
with who we give our story to. I know that sharing your story on social media can be beautiful but
also if you're very early in your healing journey you got to be careful with that because obviously
you're giving, you know, you're putting yourself very vulnerable out there and you don't always
know what you'll receive back. That can be empowering some ways but early on in your
your healing journey it can also be a lot to give it to too many people so finding a safe space.
But when we share our story I think the biggest thing that happens is all the shame that can
come with our traumas we can feel so dirty because of what happened to us especially if there is
abuse involved like it can just feel really gross and yucky and so we get so scared that if someone
actually knew what we had been through, what we had done, they wouldn't love us the same or they
wouldn't love us as much. That that story, that shame can build on the inside can make it to where
I'll just push this down and move on like I'm sure I can restart and not have to go back and think of
any of that stuff but it's a huge part of who we are what we've been through does affect where
we're at but we also can rebuild and rewrite the story but sharing your story can be so empowering
because you'll find people that let you know that they've been in that same boat as you and it can
be so nice to find people to bounce off and hold space for not only hold space for them as they
share their story but hold space for you finding that outlet of people can be life-changing.
Yeah having that community can be everything just feeling like you're not alone like there's others
going through the same trenches of you and how important it is to practice self-care
throughout all of this because let's be real this is heavy stuff this is the heaviest of the stuff
right? Trauma and so going inward a little bit and asking yourself okay I've been doing a lot of work
here what do I need to refill my cup in healthy ways and rather than the numbing out rather than
the putting on a band-aid like how can you air this out in a way that's going to refuel you so
again topping into your senses can be a beautiful way to do that maybe lighting some candles giving
yourself some self-massage having some nice tea just sitting outside and being with yourself
and maybe you do want to watch some Netflix and just have that time to kind of veg out after doing
this hard work adding a little bit of lightness can be exactly what you actually need in that moment
so thank you. I wanted to say one more thing one more thing I was just going to give a few
points for research so if all of this is kind of new to you Body Keeps the Score is our book
recommendation you I highly recommend you look into trauma-informed yoga EMDR work into therapists
that are trauma-informed and trauma-focused because they can add in sound therapy brain spotting there
is just so many avenues for trauma work so I just wanted to give a few suggestions for things that
you can research and dive into because there is answers I promise but yes thank you Kat.
Yeah there's a lot there's a lot more out there for you so this isn't the end of the road
we hope that this is kind of just like a little taste that can inspire you to to go deeper on
your path and to let us know and ask the questions. Exactly we're here for you we love you and we can't
wait to see you all next week. Bye Kat. Bye. Thanks.