1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:16,040 Hello and welcome to the Awaken Together podcast. I am Jen and I'm Kat. And today we are going 2 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:22,740 to be going into trauma work. So first off, I want to share that no matter what we go 3 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:28,600 over today, trauma work is going to look and feel so different for every person. And I 4 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:34,600 also want to preface that I really believe that having a group of people close by, whether it's 5 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:40,800 a trauma-informed yoga instructor, a therapist, or just finding a really safe space is usually 6 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:47,080 needed to dive into trauma work because it can be very difficult to do by yourself. But we are going 7 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:53,280 to mention a lot of what this looks like, a lot of different ways to dive into starting trauma work, 8 00:00:53,280 --> 00:01:00,840 and then share some personal stories about it and what has come up for us on our journey. So before 9 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:07,680 anything, I want to give a definition of trauma. So I think we're learning more and more about the 10 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:12,880 definition of trauma. It's constantly expanding because at this point, we're looking way beyond 11 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:18,000 just certain events and really looking at the nervous system and the way the brain is wired 12 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:25,440 based on certain traumas. But trauma can be verbal, physical, sexual abuse. It can be life 13 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:32,840 threatening accidents. It can be mass disasters. And now what's being more acknowledged is more 14 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:39,200 religious trauma, looking at untreated mental illness in our caregivers, and then also just 15 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:44,160 little micro traumas that can build up based on the way we were raised or what our surroundings 16 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:50,840 are looking like. Yeah, thanks for that definition, Jen. And I've shared about this a little bit in 17 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:58,840 the past about the idea of big T trauma and little T trauma and how actually it's all the same. 18 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:05,040 There's no kind of ranking that we need to be thinking about when it comes to trauma because 19 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:12,560 all trauma is just, it's valid, and it's all really equal in the way that it's processed. So 20 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:18,560 some people don't even think they have a problem because they look at others' trauma and say, 21 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:25,480 oh, well, mine's nothing compared to that. So they just never get it treated or never really dig into 22 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:34,200 it when really unhealed trauma, I firmly believe, is society's biggest, most unaddressed underlying 23 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:42,960 condition. Yes, big episode. 100%. Yes, this has been a huge part of my recent journey and one of 24 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:50,320 the top things that I have really delved into and tried to get to understand better. So yeah, 25 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:55,440 I have a unique take on all of this. So that has been part of why this is also interesting 26 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,720 because I've learned a ton about the nervous system with my lens of physical therapy, 27 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:05,720 but really dive in into the mental side of it and then also looking at the spiritual side of it 28 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:11,600 because that's been what's come up as I've taught yoga and dived into energy work and yes, 29 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:18,560 so much stuff. So when you go through a trauma, let's start with this. What is happening is that 30 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:25,440 your nervous system starts staying in this fight, flight, freeze, or thaw mode more often. So this 31 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:30,640 is the system that gets turned on when we're in physical danger. So it's actually there to protect 32 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:37,800 us, but the issue is, is that once you've experienced trauma or you had, you know, whether it was a 33 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:44,360 particular event or little traumas over time is our nervous system is activated and on so much 34 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:49,560 more often. You can become almost addicted to this kind of stress hormone and you're just in high 35 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:55,800 alert all the time. And I think a huge way to notice this is if you get set off by very little 36 00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:02,680 things like your water spills and all of a sudden you're letting out 10 years of raft onto the 37 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:07,800 people around you because your nervous system is turned on trying to protect you to get you out of 38 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:13,720 there, but it no longer has a gauge on what's appropriate and not appropriate. Your nervous 39 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:22,800 system is just acting out all the time. Yeah, it's an overdrive. Yeah. So I put a quote, me and Kat 40 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:27,800 could not recommend enough. This is a huge book that goes around the spiritual community, the 41 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:33,720 mental health world, but the body keeps the score really words a lot of this. So I wrote a little 42 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:40,720 quote that I thought would really resonate with this episode, but we have learned that trauma is 43 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:46,240 not just an event that took place sometime in the past. It is also the imprint left by the experience 44 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:52,320 on the mind, brain and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism 45 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:58,280 manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way the 46 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:04,440 mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think, but also our 47 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:14,240 very capacity to think. Such a great quote in that book is so influential in, I mean, even healing 48 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:23,320 through yoga, which we'll get to, but the body really holds a lot of our pasts. So two different 49 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:29,680 classifications of trauma, the way that they manifest over time after the events have really 50 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:37,560 taken place are PTSD, which you might be familiar of, post-traumatic stress disorder, and complex 51 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:45,480 PTSD, which is a newer name. It's not even, I don't think it's even officially classified in 52 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:55,840 some findings, but the difference here is PTSD is linked to one event, one life-changing traumatic 53 00:05:55,840 --> 00:06:03,960 event. Whereas complex PTSD is not just one event, but it's a compilation of lots of little things, 54 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:12,520 potentially over many, many years, that leads to this post-traumatic stress disorder. And it's 55 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:19,640 really, it can be hard to diagnose because if you've just had a whole entire childhood linked with 56 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:26,360 traumatic events and you're led with your nervous system is just on overdrive, but you can't tie it 57 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:33,480 to one thing, that can be really hard as an individual to say, I need help, because this is 58 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,960 just how you've learned to be how you are. It hasn't been something that shifted overnight. 59 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:43,720 You might just think, this is just who I am, right? And not get the help that you might need. 60 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:50,000 Yeah. And I think so many qualities that get equated to being like our personality are actually 61 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,840 a lot of unhealed traumas. I think if you look at it, once you have looked at the world through 62 00:06:55,840 --> 00:07:00,280 the lens of trauma, I think you really start seeing that we have glorified these personality 63 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:07,080 traits that really come from someone really desperately needing to go into help. You call 64 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:12,160 someone a very high strung person or very nervous person, or they're very angry. They just get 65 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:17,560 frustrated very easily by things. And we just start blaming it on the person instead of feeling 66 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:24,800 like that could be a symptom of a very underlying issue that has needed to be addressed. And the 67 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:32,760 body keeps the score. They talk a ton about looking at the brain under an MRI scan and just seeing 68 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:38,920 that when trauma stories are brought up, the way that the brain is responding, it has such a 69 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:44,840 difficulty using both lobes at the same time to process the information. They can actually note 70 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:51,560 this now. And that has been where there's been a giant shift from kind of thinking that, yeah, 71 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:56,440 there's these PTSD symptoms and that maybe with some therapy, they'll be okay. But they didn't 72 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:02,160 have the actual understanding of what was going on in the brain while these people were struggling. 73 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:08,280 And I think now that we have access to looking at that stuff, the treatments are getting more and 74 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:14,640 more broad and there's so many more avenues to go down. One of the interesting things that I found 75 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:21,880 from that book and just my deep dives is traumatized people chronically feel unsafe in their body from 76 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:28,120 this nervous system. But there's also this huge link in not being able to process sensory and 77 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:36,200 sensation information correctly. So for some, even just touch is not registered the same way. So there 78 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:43,240 can be this link where you might not even feel the sensations appropriately or feel them at all. So 79 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:50,000 there's this huge need to drop back into sensations in your body and even recognize what sensations 80 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,560 should feel like and how you should process them. Because all of that gets out of whack when the 81 00:08:54,560 --> 00:09:01,800 nervous system gets out of whack. Yeah, I mean, it makes me think like we are both obsessed with the 82 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:11,960 senses. My thesis project for my 300 hour yoga teacher training project was all about sensory 83 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:17,840 yoga. And we didn't even know these links before we've talked about that honestly blew my mind. 84 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:25,400 I know I'm so I am endlessly fascinated by this because I think both of us are yoga teachers. And 85 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:34,520 we both also you have your music festival background. I used tons of stimulation outside 86 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:42,000 sensory input, I think to calm myself down a lot as a kid. And my personal trauma is like, I really 87 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,760 think that mine came more I never thought my trauma was really worthy or that I really needed 88 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:53,320 help because I never had these. Yeah, as Kat was mentioning these giant significant events over time, 89 00:09:53,320 --> 00:10:00,600 but mental health has just not been talked about until really our generation. And so I think for a 90 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:06,320 lot of us, our caretakers did not have the languaging, the communication skills, any of it to 91 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:13,480 really be able to pass down ways for us to know how to properly regulate ourselves. So I took a 92 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:19,160 lot of the sensory input and I really would use it kind of as my own therapy. But as I got older 93 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:25,760 and learned about trauma, I was like, I was really trying to calm myself down. I did it in all these unique ways. 94 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:32,800 Yeah, definitely. Yeah. No, it's it's so wild to think about. And I think we all need to give 95 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:39,440 ourselves a pat on the back for for being here doing this work. Because like you said, this is 96 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:45,760 newer stuff, which is just wild to think about, like, the trauma itself isn't new, but how we 97 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:51,280 treat it, how we handle it, our understanding of how it all works and how to heal from it, that is 98 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:58,320 new. And we're all here, passionate about how to do the work. And the good news is that the nervous 99 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:06,400 system can be rewired. And here's where the practices of yoga, meditation, dance therapy, singing, 100 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,600 and creative expression can really come in as an outlet for us in this healing journey. 101 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:18,800 Yes. So we know that yoga, maybe you haven't practiced yoga, if you haven't, we highly recommend. 102 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:28,160 But yoga, really not it's doing so many things, but it teaches us breathwork, which breathwork is 103 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:33,320 directly linked to our nervous system. So there are different breath techniques that can stimulate 104 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:37,920 the nervous system in different ways. But when we apply these techniques and notice how they feel in 105 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:44,240 our body, we can really figure out what works for us breathing technique wise. So yoga is not only 106 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:50,520 teaching us how to breathe, but it brings about so many sensations in the body. And if you notice in 107 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:57,040 a yoga class, the teacher is always asking, notice how this feels, notice how, yeah, notice how your 108 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:03,560 what your leg is doing, notice how your arm feels there, like it's just constant drawing in. And 109 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:08,080 that is where we can really start to develop that relationship back into our body. And that can be 110 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:13,560 huge for some people might sound very simple to some, but for some you'd never dive in and actually 111 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:18,800 notice what a sensation feels like in your body, especially when you've been wired to completely 112 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,040 ignore your body signals and messages. 113 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:26,760 Absolutely. Yeah. And to go back to breath for a second, I love talking about the nervous system 114 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:32,320 in yoga classes, because it's again, it's not something that everybody learns about. And we're 115 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:38,480 lucky to have that knowledge through yoga teacher training. But one of my favorite things to share 116 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:46,520 is how when your exhale is lengthened longer than your inhale, it sends the message to your 117 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:51,160 parasympathetic nervous system, that it's okay to relax. 118 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,680 That is the opposite nervous system to our fight, flight, freeze, fawn. 119 00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:03,280 Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Thanks for explaining that. And we also get the same benefit by hearing 120 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:11,280 others breath. So I always say take this breath for you, deep breath in, longer breath out, and 121 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:17,880 take this next breath for your neighbor, because they will receive those same benefits by hearing 122 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:24,800 your exhale being longer than your inhale. So you have that power to help yourself, but also to 123 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:31,240 help your neighbor in stressful situations, a friend even breathing with them can be very 124 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,040 powerful. 125 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:38,960 Yeah. And I that just reminded me I read a study, I need to fact check this truly. So take it for a 126 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,440 grain of salt. But I know that there was a lot of studies being done on collective singing and what 127 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:49,240 that does to people's heart rates. They were finding this giant sync up of groups of people that 128 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:54,400 were singing together that their heart rate would match up. So there's this huge link between 129 00:13:54,400 --> 00:14:01,120 doing all of these, these things that really we naturally know to do as kids, but you know, these 130 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:07,520 these group activities that are syncing us all together, it brings in that collective component. 131 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:13,600 And I think that is huge for regulation. If we think of our nervous systems as being this kind of 132 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:19,880 inner wiring, then everyone has that inner wiring. And if we can all come together into a safe space 133 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:25,760 and feel safe with the people around us, then our nervous system will calm down and drop into so I 134 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,280 can do so many side branches off of that. 135 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:33,560 Oh, yeah, I know. I'm just like nodding so much over here. You can't see me. But I'm just like, 136 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:39,320 yes, yes, yes. And I think that's the magic of yoga classes in person too, right? 137 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,160 The magic. Yep. 138 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:48,120 Yeah. And going back to like creating different sensations in your body and being able to feel 139 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:55,160 into your body. It's all about that idea of interoception. So taking away the senses on the 140 00:14:55,160 --> 00:15:01,640 outside, and being able to understand what your body feels like on the inside. Now this is 141 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:07,080 something to work up towards, it might not be accessible right away, but it can be really 142 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:14,760 powerful with strengthening the mind body connection. If you can understand like, what foods 143 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:20,040 make your body feel a certain way, like you're going to stop eating those foods. But without 144 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:25,480 that inner body awareness, that mind body connection of that understanding of, okay, 145 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:32,280 want to eat this food? I feel this way. Or when I smell this scent, I feel this way. Or when I go 146 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:39,880 to this place, I feel this way. It's all connected and like being tapped in to those sensations 147 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:40,680 inside. 148 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:48,840 Yeah. And meditation and yoga is doing that exact thing. It's teaching you to drop in 149 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:54,040 over and over and over again. But you brought a very good point up in that it might not be easy 150 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:59,640 right away. And I think this is a huge misconception. And that's why it's really good to talk to your 151 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:04,840 yoga teachers and talk to healers as well as your therapist and stuff about this. Because there's 152 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:09,800 definitely so many outlets. So if one thing hasn't worked for you in the past, don't write it off 153 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:16,120 completely. But for some, there's varied types of yoga, various types. So there's some 154 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,920 yogas that'll be a lot more calm. And that can actually be re-triggering if your nervous system 155 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:26,680 has been so used to being ramped up. You might not be able to do a very slow yoga class very 156 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:31,720 easily. You might have to work up to that. And same with meditation. Meditation is not always 157 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:37,640 just sitting down and being quiet. That can be extremely provoking if you already feel generally 158 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:42,680 unsafe in your body. Then closing your eyes and just trying to sit still is not going to be this 159 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:49,800 meditative thing. But there's so many outlets. So there's shake meditations. I love dynamic 160 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:55,800 meditation. That's a whole other experience. But there's so many different types. So you really 161 00:16:55,800 --> 00:17:03,960 want to play with it and notice. And there is going to be a little sense of possibly, I guess 162 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:09,560 I can word it as, uncomfortable. Because when you haven't ever tapped into sensations in your body, 163 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:15,720 it's going to feel a little intense. But you don't want to be constantly re-triggering yourself. 164 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:21,000 Because that is not the goal of trauma work. You want to find a balance where you're feeling safe 165 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:27,960 enough to work through some of the emotional charge that comes with it. Exactly. And it is 166 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:35,400 worth asking yourself, how often am I being re-triggered by this trauma? And if that answer 167 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:42,280 is frequently, then really taking a step back, intentionally separating yourself from that, 168 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:47,880 creating some distance, whether you're being triggered by a person, a thought, a place, 169 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:53,160 a thing, anything, really getting to that understanding. Because your nervous system 170 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:58,760 does need that time and place to reset, to process, to be with it without just going right back into 171 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:04,600 the spiral again. So yeah, if your healing journey feels like it just keeps going backwards, you keep 172 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:09,560 really feeling like you want to make advancements and then you keep getting dragged back, you want 173 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:16,120 to look at those things. Because our body needs time to feel safe before we can sometimes re-enter 174 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:22,920 different environments or re-enter conversations with certain people. It's very important to figure 175 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,960 out what your triggers are. And so that's where a lot of the shadow work that's talked about in 176 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:34,120 the spiritual world, looking and journaling about the things that are provoking can be a really good 177 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:40,600 insight into some of the trauma that could be linked behind those things. And another topic I 178 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:45,640 wanted to go into, this is one of the most popular topics that comes up on my Senseful Wellness TikTok 179 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:53,080 page. But another really magical thing that happens as you start into these more dynamic meditations 180 00:18:53,080 --> 00:19:00,360 or into various yoga classes is emotional releases. So emotional releases can look like 181 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,160 you enter into a yoga pose and all of a sudden you just start bursting into tears. And it doesn't 182 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,120 usually come with a lot of linked memory. It just feels like an emotion is just coming out. 183 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:14,840 Sometimes this can look like rage, like this feeling that you just want to scream. And I 184 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:22,040 recommend you do scream. And yeah, even sometimes laughing in yoga poses, these are the things to 185 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:29,080 note because it's the body just letting something out. And I think so often we get told to rush 186 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:39,000 past our emotions that when we slow down with the yoga and meditation, we are giving ourselves space 187 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:44,760 and time to feel into something that maybe in our regular life we don't give the space and time to 188 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:50,440 feel anyway. So it's dropping ourselves into our body enough that emotions are getting to come up 189 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:55,720 to the surface. So you're always safe to feel in yoga when these things come up. I remember when 190 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:01,960 my first one happened, I was in frog pose, hip openers and heart openers we say in yoga are like 191 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:07,960 usually the top provokers of these emotional releases just kind of coming out. But I was 192 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:16,120 actually in Aruba at a yoga girl retreat. And I had definitely I had already been teaching yoga 193 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:25,800 at this point. But I don't think I think for me, I'm a very logical thinking person, very busy head 194 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:34,360 constantly needing to do the work to slow my thoughts down. So I think in yoga, it's a constant 195 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:39,240 like stay in your body, stay in your body, stay in your body. So I think I have a lot more active 196 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:44,680 thought it doesn't it takes a lot for me to get into a full flow state of breath that took a lot 197 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:51,800 of years to drop into. So emotional releases didn't happen for me for a lot of years. And then when I 198 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:57,480 had my first like really significant one when I'm in this frog pose, I just cried I think for like 199 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:03,640 a solid like 15 minutes and I had no idea what I was crying about. But afterwards the shift in my 200 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:10,680 body was like night and day I felt so much lighter. I felt just like completely like a different 201 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:17,560 person. Honestly, have you had an emotional release before in yoga cat? I sure have. And oh, that's so 202 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:25,000 powerful. Yeah, I have two that are coming to mind right now. One was in pigeon pose. So another hip 203 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:32,680 opener. Yeah. And I remember this was early on in my yoga journey. And I remember just having like 204 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:38,920 really big takeaways and Shavasana often. But this one time I was in pigeon pose and it was maybe, 205 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:47,560 you know, double digit yoga class for me, maybe like my 12th yoga class ever. And I was in it and 206 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:54,200 my hips were feeling really tight. And I just let myself go a little bit as my yoga teacher then was 207 00:21:54,200 --> 00:22:00,920 cueing me to just to be with the feelings and notice what was coming up. And I just remember 208 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:08,840 feeling really angry and I was feeling angry at the yoga teacher at first for putting me in this 209 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:15,640 pose. And then I saw that I was like, cat, why are you mad at this teacher right now? This is just a 210 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:21,880 yoga class and feeling a little bit of guilt and shame. But then like the next thing she said really 211 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:28,440 stuck with me and to help me understand it. And she said that we store anger in our hips. We store 212 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:34,920 we store heightened emotions there. It's one of the places that it likes to live. And so with hip 213 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:41,000 openers like this, like you were just saying, just notice what comes up for you, acknowledge that it's 214 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:47,480 temporary, breathe through it and let it go. And so I felt the anger. I sat with it. And then I 215 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:53,240 realized that it's because she was making me feel uncomfortable, but it wasn't her making me feel it. 216 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:59,400 It was what was actually in my body, what was being stored. So I did just that. And then afterwards, 217 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:05,480 after I felt the anger and I breathe through it, I was able to really let it go. And I felt so much 218 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:12,040 lighter afterwards, just as you're saying. And then yeah, the other times, and this has happened 219 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:19,000 multiple times that I've had emotional releases in class has been in Shavasana. So that time just at 220 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:24,280 the end of the class where you're laying there on your back and it's a signal of like you've made it, 221 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:31,160 this is the end of class. There's nothing left to do. There's nothing left on your to do list. 222 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:37,320 Nothing outside of this moment matters. And you can just be in your full presence exactly as you are. 223 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:44,200 Just be with your breath. And I've just really had moments where, you know, I remember specifically, 224 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:50,760 it was after my grandfather passed away and I was trying to just be strong for my family, for myself. 225 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:56,920 And I just didn't have to in that moment. And I just cried and cried and cried and sobbed and I 226 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:01,960 didn't even care who heard it. And it's a very healing moment for me. And I remember coming back 227 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:07,320 to my mat every day after that for a few weeks until the tears felt like they've kind of reached 228 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:14,920 the bottom of the well and it felt really liberating. Beautiful. And yeah, that is what it is. 229 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:22,200 Your yoga mat is your safe space. It becomes a mirror for you of how you normally respond to 230 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:29,720 things. It's giving you a safe space to it for the moment you're deciding to be in a class or 231 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:36,040 you're doing your own home practice. Nothing else matters but what needs to come out, what you need 232 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:43,560 to feel into and just regularly giving yourself that space is so the opposite of the way we're 233 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:49,720 taught to function of go, go, go. Don't give emotions. Don't be too emotional. Yeah, don't cry 234 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:55,240 in certain places. Don't, you know, don't yell too loud. Why are you getting upset? Why are you so 235 00:24:55,240 --> 00:25:02,120 mad? You know, there's this constant doubt on emotions and how you're responding to things. 236 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:08,120 So creating that safe space where there's not that judgment, you're giving yourself the space 237 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:13,480 that whatever comes, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be with it because I never have been given permission to 238 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:18,920 sit with my emotions because we are constantly told just to move on because there's, there's more 239 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:27,480 important stuff in quotes to do, you know? And yeah, I think yoga and meditation we mentioned 240 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:36,520 are huge. I'm a huge advocate for just turning on a song, letting your body shake, letting your body 241 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:42,440 dance and then noticing after the song is up what is up. Do you feel like you need to collapse down 242 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:49,480 on the ground and cry? Do you feel like you need to grab a pillow or don't grab a pillow and scream 243 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:55,160 for like however long, whatever comes up because often when we shake we're kind of stirring up the 244 00:25:55,160 --> 00:26:01,080 nervous system in a way and dancing can do that same thing. And so finding an outlet then to let 245 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,880 out whatever it is or maybe you take your journal and it brings up a ton of thoughts and memories. 246 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:13,640 I think shaking has a huge link and surfacing stuff up. Another huge homework assignment 247 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:21,320 is really finding a safe place to share your story. I think we have to be a little careful 248 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:27,800 with who we give our story to. I know that sharing your story on social media can be beautiful but 249 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,600 also if you're very early in your healing journey you got to be careful with that because obviously 250 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,840 you're giving, you know, you're putting yourself very vulnerable out there and you don't always 251 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,560 know what you'll receive back. That can be empowering some ways but early on in your 252 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:47,480 your healing journey it can also be a lot to give it to too many people so finding a safe space. 253 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:53,080 But when we share our story I think the biggest thing that happens is all the shame that can 254 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:59,080 come with our traumas we can feel so dirty because of what happened to us especially if there is 255 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:06,600 abuse involved like it can just feel really gross and yucky and so we get so scared that if someone 256 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:11,960 actually knew what we had been through, what we had done, they wouldn't love us the same or they 257 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:18,680 wouldn't love us as much. That that story, that shame can build on the inside can make it to where 258 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:24,440 I'll just push this down and move on like I'm sure I can restart and not have to go back and think of 259 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:30,440 any of that stuff but it's a huge part of who we are what we've been through does affect where 260 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:36,120 we're at but we also can rebuild and rewrite the story but sharing your story can be so empowering 261 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:41,080 because you'll find people that let you know that they've been in that same boat as you and it can 262 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:48,680 be so nice to find people to bounce off and hold space for not only hold space for them as they 263 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:54,120 share their story but hold space for you finding that outlet of people can be life-changing. 264 00:27:54,840 --> 00:28:01,080 Yeah having that community can be everything just feeling like you're not alone like there's others 265 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:08,200 going through the same trenches of you and how important it is to practice self-care 266 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:14,680 throughout all of this because let's be real this is heavy stuff this is the heaviest of the stuff 267 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:22,760 right? Trauma and so going inward a little bit and asking yourself okay I've been doing a lot of work 268 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:28,840 here what do I need to refill my cup in healthy ways and rather than the numbing out rather than 269 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:35,480 the putting on a band-aid like how can you air this out in a way that's going to refuel you so 270 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:40,520 again topping into your senses can be a beautiful way to do that maybe lighting some candles giving 271 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:46,680 yourself some self-massage having some nice tea just sitting outside and being with yourself 272 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:51,720 and maybe you do want to watch some Netflix and just have that time to kind of veg out after doing 273 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:57,160 this hard work adding a little bit of lightness can be exactly what you actually need in that moment 274 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:04,600 so thank you. I wanted to say one more thing one more thing I was just going to give a few 275 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:09,640 points for research so if all of this is kind of new to you Body Keeps the Score is our book 276 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:18,120 recommendation you I highly recommend you look into trauma-informed yoga EMDR work into therapists 277 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:23,800 that are trauma-informed and trauma-focused because they can add in sound therapy brain spotting there 278 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:29,880 is just so many avenues for trauma work so I just wanted to give a few suggestions for things that 279 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:36,680 you can research and dive into because there is answers I promise but yes thank you Kat. 280 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,800 Yeah there's a lot there's a lot more out there for you so this isn't the end of the road 281 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:47,320 we hope that this is kind of just like a little taste that can inspire you to to go deeper on 282 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:54,760 your path and to let us know and ask the questions. Exactly we're here for you we love you and we can't 283 00:29:54,760 --> 00:30:07,640 wait to see you all next week. Bye Kat. Bye. Thanks.