All right, all right, all right.
Welcome back to the uncomplicated podcast.
It's me, Caitlin.
Welcome back.
If you're listening for the first time, welcome in general.
So happy to have you here.
Today we have such a cool guest on.
We've already been chatting a little bit and the energy is flowing.
The vibes are good.
I'm so excited to introduce Jen Wilson, AKA Senseful Wellness on TikTok.
Hey, how you doing?
Welcome.
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
I feel like this has been a fated conversation for a very long time.
So it's so nice to be here.
So have you have you.
And yeah, I couldn't agree more.
Y'all, if you could have seen kind of like the back, the back ends of making this happen.
I was so scatterbrained and she was so patient with me.
And you know, if you listen to the pod, you've been, you know, I've been going through a
lot of travel and things like that.
So now we're finally in a grounded place, ready to dive into this conversation about
comfort zones today.
We have been, this has been the topic we wanted to speak on since we had the idea.
Absolutely.
And I feel like we have followed each other's journeys virtually for so long that, yeah,
it feels crazy and very surreal.
And I've watched you grow so much just from far away, rooting you on someone I've never
met in person, but it feels, yeah, it felt so aligned.
I feel like the, we've both been on the TikTok world.
I've like slowly built my TikTok over time and it's been so beautiful to have these consistent
faces pop up that have just been like, okay, we're all still here showing up, doing these
things.
And yeah, I've wanted to have a conversation with you like this.
So yeah, I love that.
Thank you.
It's been, it's so funny how you said like seeing all these familiar faces, cause it
really does kind of feel like its own world in a way where you're like, okay, you're
walking into the space and there's a free you page and you don't know some of the faces.
And then it's like when you walk into the lunch room and you're looking around, you're
like, Oh my God, I don't know anyone.
But you like see your friend at the table.
You're like, Oh, thank God they're here today.
Absolutely.
Cause we just been out here doing this thing.
Since what?
2020 for you said?
Right.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So yeah, for those who don't know any of my stuff, like I, yeah, I started off like my
background is really in physical therapy.
That's like what I went to school for.
And yeah, I, when I got onto TikTok, like I was in such a transition phase in my life.
I had gone through like lots of layers of starting to process childhood trauma, lots
of layers of like processing religion trauma.
I was raised like super deep in the evangelical Christian world.
And like, there was so much layers of healing and I had really started my journey like on
my yoga mat of kind of coming to like a more spiritual path and mind and body stuff.
I really like love the link because of physical therapy, like being there.
But then yeah, the layers of healing from the yoga mat, getting into energy work and
getting into astrology.
And then it's like factoring in all these tools for like self-awareness, self-healing,
like really, yeah, it was almost my own journey more than anything.
And then just like piecing information in as I was discovering it about myself, but
just realizing how much deeper everything was.
And then yeah, having, it's just our healthcare system in the US and like the layers to that
have been so deep, but working with patients and realizing like how much depth I crave
and connection and then watching patients that think they're just fixing their shoulder
and physical therapy.
And then we're talking about like layers of trauma and heart healing and inner child
healing.
And then just seeing like we cannot compartmentalize some of this stuff.
And I love like every single funnel and system to like look at yourself and then figure out
how to connect deeper.
And I've kind of created my TikTok page and my own podcast, all like just exploring that
journey.
And yeah, there was such a little community that got built on TikTok because I could tell
the people that were like posting and just sharing.
And I think a lot of us were like sharing very vulnerable stuff at a time, like in the
pandemic when there wasn't a lot of stability.
And I watched this all shift so much and it's been so cool to see everyone step into different
paths, but then also like very much care about stepping out of our comfort zone and showing
up in a way as we're messy, like living through this life.
Yeah.
Oh, oh my gosh.
I love the way you put all of that.
Yes.
I followed along.
I felt like I was on like this beautiful like flower, like there was a flower and it was
like slowly opening.
Like I felt like I watched it kind of happen as you were telling that kind of trajectory
of where you started and how it just kept, I kept hearing in my head, like we can't have
one without the other, like talking about, you know, physical therapy and you're working
with somebody on helping their shoulder.
And then all of a sudden you're diving into childhood trauma and like what they are carrying
maybe.
And that is something that I really just believe is so, so important and not like talked about
a lot and seen a lot in, you know, like modern day, like Western or yeah, Western medicine
and tying it all together is so interesting.
And I'm curious when you talked about realizing your own journey through the physical therapy
and you ended up on your mat and then was it intuitive?
Like were these moments just kind of like, you know, the cliche term is downloads, but
were they downloads?
Was it like I'm on my mat, I'm sobbing for apparently no reason or something like that,
but then I realized this is why I'm moving through it.
Did you have like specific mentors, one yoga class you were in where you like were like,
oh my God, hit with the like the light bulb.
How did that kind of go for you?
Yeah, thank you.
Great question.
Yeah, it was going into yoga, it's hilarious when I started because I'm such a, I share
this a lot.
Like I, it's taken me so long to trust my feelings as loudly as my thoughts because
I'm such a processor in my head and like dropping into my body was like pretty much non-existent
due to all the circumstances.
So when I started yoga, I was just like, oh, this is cool.
It's like exactly like physical therapy.
I loved the bridge of like the poses and yoga being like exercises and I like loved just
the physical body practice of it.
And I literally went in just like thinking it could be like a, an opportunity to like
stretch more, like just very not thinking it was going to be like a portal unlocking
like so much.
And it honestly took, I was so neurotic about yoga when I started, I like wanted to do all
the poses right.
I was so technical about it and then I think just because I kept showing up and like loving
how my body felt after I showed up enough times that eventually became so automatic
that it started like stripping into the next layer of like, I'm breathing now and I'm
like memorizing flow.
And then all of a sudden, yeah, like the random crying was like, wait, what?
That was definitely like early on classes where I'd be like, wait, what?
And then I'd have like shaking through my body and I'm just like, damn, there is some
stuff like in my body.
And I realized too, like I think earlier on in yoga, the final pose you take in any class
is Shavasana, you lay and you rest.
I would like sit up and look around.
Like I just realized how terrified I was to like lay down and I couldn't really see how
my discomfort was presenting.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think through just showing up on the yoga mat consistently and realizing that my
body was like holding stories.
Like it was the first time crying without having thought provoke the crying.
It was like my body experiencing an emotion with no thought.
And I was like, this is crazy to me.
And yeah, I feel like each time it felt really like a lot lighter, but that was like the
journey into realizing how, yeah, my relationship to discomfort was really askew for staying
on theme with the episode and realizing like I couldn't even sit with myself for five seconds.
Like Shavasana being that triggering was wild that I could not lay down without like thinking
I'd like open my eyes and be like, is everyone looking at me?
And I'm like, okay, no.
And then I'm just like, gosh, watching myself and I'm like, I don't know how to relax.
I don't know how to rest.
I don't know how to like actually just like pause in any way and just realizing how far
I had gotten and being like comfortable in my own body was wild to see.
And I think that yeah, was the catalyst to so much.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's, it's, it's kind of interesting that you found your way out of your comfort zone
by sitting with all of your discomfort, like physically.
And it kind of sounds like it literally spoke to you when you, when you spoke on like crying
and not having it be spurred by thoughts and actually realizing like, Oh, I can feel emotions
that aren't based on thought.
Like you were talking about earlier, your thought kind of creating emotion and that
doesn't always have to be, sometimes it's from the bottom up.
Yeah.
I used to, we had this teacher in the second grade and she used to have us close our eyes
and put our feet on the ground and kind of do a meditation of sorts.
And I remember I used to, I couldn't close my eyes.
I would look around and be like, why are our eyes closed?
What's going to happen while my eyes are closed?
And it reminded me of that when you said you'd set up during Shavasana.
It's uncomfortable.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So yeah, like you said, staying on the skew, like the theme of today's episode, leaving
your comfort zone, what is a comfort zone?
What for you was your experience in kind of discovering this important information within
yourself and then deciding you need or I need, I want to share this with people.
It's 2020, it's peak pandemic, TikTok is a thing.
What did that look like for you?
Yeah.
So I do think I really believe truly, which it's good to even reflect on that, that if
I wouldn't have learned to face my own internal discomfort, I think everything external before
then would have been coming from just like a place that was not authentic.
It would have been like really paying attention to how others were responding to me, just
really caring what other people think in a toxic way, like not away from actually knowing
myself, but trying to keep up with what I thought until I actually dealt with my own
substance itself and like had to do so much internal work.
And I think that just looked like a lot of catching up on emotions that I really didn't
get permission to feel for most of my life.
So it was a very delayed inner child, inner teen phase, I think that I had to face in
and feel and give space and time for.
And then, yeah, I think right when the pandemic hit, I had done, I had already done Reiki.
I'm a Reiki master.
I started energy work and I think I was already pretty on the past.
So then when so many people in 2020, it was a lot of society's first time of pausing
and kind of going through Shavasana, yoga mat, fear.
It was a worldwide Shavasana.
What do I do when everything pauses and I have to deal with myself?
And I had already begun that journey.
So I think I stepped into then a new layer of discomfort, which it is a very empowering
thing to actually start choosing discomfort.
And I do think we should totally talk about the fact that willing yourself into discomfort
versus the universe having to shove you into discomfort is a beautiful higher self lesson
to the universe is going to make you keep growing.
We are designed to keep expanding and you can fight like hell to not.
But I was shoved into discomfort beforehand and then to willingly step into it with that
feeling of like, okay, this is fucking scary.
My first TikTok I ever made, I remember shaking as I hit record and just being like, oh my,
this is crazy.
Like nuts.
I was so scared.
I was like, is this live?
Like, I remember being like so red and being like, oh my God, did I even do that right?
Like I was scary.
Oh my God.
It terrified.
Am I making sense?
Like, God.
And then yeah, just like working through the camera like of TikTok was so healing.
And yeah, it was a choice that like I knew I needed to figure out how to actually put
my voice out there again.
I had had such an internal journey up to that point and I really wanted it to be external.
And I really wanted to, I remember there was like a little voice of like, you have done
so much work.
You have studied so many different things.
Like you can't just like keep all that information inside.
There's never going to be a point where you like have just enough information.
Like it's time to start like cataloging it.
It felt like I needed to at least have like a way to output.
And I felt that really strongly.
So I made my TikTok journey almost to trick my brain probably in some ways of like, let's
get all the stuff we know just like into a thing and like have it all out there and to
start practicing being in front of the camera so that like potentially we know how to talk
about these things in other spaces.
That was like my initial bargain with myself.
Okay.
So you bargained with yourself.
I think that's actually such a great approach because it's kind of breaking down something
that seems so massive.
And when we leave our comfort zones or do something that's scary to us, it seems so
daunting.
So I think bargaining with yourself in that way, it's still getting you to do the thing.
You're still working toward the goal, but it's in more of a bite size piece.
And then when you rip that bandaid off and start to see, oh, this literally isn't so
bad or oh, people do want to hear what I have to say.
You kind of gain that confidence to keep expanding your comfort zone.
Would you say that is my outline?
Absolutely.
I want to hear yours.
I want to hear yours too.
Okay.
I mean, it was similar in the sense of like, I noticed what was going on in the world.
I mean, I graduated college in 2020.
Like that was my year of, was supposed to be the year of going into the world and oh,
now you take on the big, the big world wide world.
I don't know.
Adulting.
Exactly.
And I majored in theater.
So I figured, you know, I'm just going to go to New York and I'm going to audition and
I, this is what I'm supposed to do.
And of course, you know, the world has literally shut down.
Live theater is not happening.
So it was kind of one of those moments where I was like, okay, the world's on pause.
I don't know what the heck's going on.
My body was freaking out.
Like fight or flight was activated.
I had very strange anxiety responses to like what was going on that my, like I couldn't
understand why I was having trouble with like daily bottle, like not daily bodily functions,
but I had this thing where like, I could only drink smoothies because like eating food would
like stress me out so much.
Like I couldn't physically figure out like how to basic needs.
It was wild.
And that's kind of what got me so deeply into understanding the mind, body, spirit kind
of thing.
And I already had dabbled in that kind of stuff and I knew I was interested in it throughout
school and in college.
And I would watch, you know, like the classic spiritual YouTubers on YouTube.
And I would just be like, why does this intrigue me so much?
Why am I so drawn to this?
I don't even understand what they're talking about.
And then I went to therapy and then I started to understand that we are so multi-dimensional,
multifaceted and there are reasons why we make the choices we make and why, you know,
we have certain insecurities within relationships or in, you know, not believing in our potential,
our capabilities, that kind of thing.
So for me, what I really started to care about was mindset and like self concept and the
way that we think.
Yeah, really affects the way that we show up in the world and what we can do because
we, you know, we can do anything, but it's what we believe we can do that is what limits
it.
And so, yeah, I just started recording TikToks, mainly just talking to the camera, motivational
kind of vibes.
And it was usually whatever I needed to hear at the moment.
So, similarly to how you said, okay, like, I'm going to document this stuff because I
have so much up here, like in my noggin and in my heart that I know and I've studied,
it's time to at least have somewhere to put it all.
And it was sort of that way for me in just a sense of like, okay, how do I process this
verbally and almost in a theatrical way because, you know, acting has been something I've done
my whole life.
Which is huge for comfort zone testing, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, in terms of like being perceived, at least used to that.
So yeah, that's helpful.
But yeah, just understanding and with acting too, something I love and have always loved
specifically in my like acting for the camera classes is that like, you're telling the truth
under false circumstances is what my teachers would always say.
So it's kind of like, how do I relate?
How do I get this message that I feel is so important across in a way that will cause
somebody to feel something perhaps and maybe shift their mindset around it in a positive
way and it might not affect someone.
They might think it's cringy or stupid and scroll by it.
And for me, that was the biggest discomfort was like, what if people from my past find
this account?
What if, you know, I get trolled, what if my video goes viral in a negative way and
everyone's making fun of me?
So yeah, I think that was the biggest discomfort thing.
And I just have to keep pushing through it.
And I would see, I would get texts sometimes from people and they'd be like, you just came
up my for you page.
And they would be people from my past.
So it's funny how you said the universe really will force us to face that discomfort.
That was my fear.
And that's what kept happening.
And I would just be like, Oh no, oh no, oh no, I get the text.
And then they'd say something really kind.
And I would be like, Oh, okay, well, I'm just going to take their word that they mean that.
And that's amazing.
Yeah.
And that's kind of what builds the confidence for me.
But it's a daily thing.
It's a daily struggle.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think that's, that's definitely what we wanted to like, break down in this conversation
like a little bit too is.
Yeah.
I think the, oh my God, the amount of lessons I have had to learn that like, yeah, I think,
I think younger me always thought that I was going to be able to reach this point where
the sensation of fear would go away that like that was coming because I hadn't quite figured
it out yet or that I just needed a little bit more or that like once people like knew
what I was about, then that would go away.
Like it just always felt like I was trying to calculate how to remove an uncomfortable
emotion that was really the starting journey.
Right?
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
And then eventually I was like, this feeling is not going to leave me.
So you know, perhaps I can like learn how to factor this thing because I think what kept
happening, I clung so hard to a comfort zone that was like so far out of alignment to the
growth that was happening in my life.
Like I think back to, I was raised in Florida and I had like, you know, our friend group
that was just not going in the greatest path.
Like just, we were just partying all the time, not giving a shit about consequences, just
like going really far down a path of like no intentional like way of thinking.
And then, yeah, it was my comfort zone though.
And even though I was doing all this like little growth, I was like, you know, it's
fine.
And then I feel like tests after tests kept coming through and being like, this is not
your highest point.
Like we are going to keep shoving you into more so that you will actually let this expansion
like take root and not keep running and clinging to patterns that like actually make you feel
like shit to hold on to.
But they're familiar and I'm like, I like this because I know what it's going to give
me and I love the control.
And then the university like, yeah, we're going to test the out of control feeling like
again.
Like, so yeah, I ended up in jail.
I've shared this on my own podcast.
I had so much shit go down like to learn this the hardest way.
And on the other side, I can say in retrospect, that fear feeling has just had to become my
best friend.
Like truly.
Yeah.
Wow.
I love what you said that fear feeling has to just become my best friend that maybe you
give some tough love to your best friend who you're like, hey, hello.
Come on.
Yeah.
I hear you.
Wake up.
And the doing it afraid is like the lesson that just like keeps on giving befriending
the fear.
And then yeah, I have to like stare the fear in the face and be like, I hear you, but this
isn't real.
And like what you're saying, it's valid, but that doesn't mean that it's going to control
our actions.
And I love you.
And I'm sorry.
It's so hard.
Yeah.
Keep going anyway.
You know, gentle parenting, but also calling it out on its bullshit.
Like a combo.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's got, I think it's always got to be a combo of the two for real to have any sort
of growth happening.
It's like, if we're too gentle parent, then like, we're not going to want to leave the
comfort zone, but if we're like too hardcore, then we're just going to be like beating ourselves
up all the time.
It's not going to come from a genuine place.
So I absolutely agree with you.
And it's, it's interesting that sometimes the things that are our comfort zone that we
know we're in control of that keep us, you know, stuck, quote unquote stuck.
It's like, they're the most comfortable thing and familiar, but also they feel the shittiest.
Like, yeah, it's a baseline.
That's not even worth fighting over.
And you really don't even see that always until retrospect.
And I think that there is definitely something that I'm sure you've built momentum on in
your own life.
And I have to like, just from the willingness to do things bravely, I guess, like you realize
that when you just give the littlest bit in a direction that is something new, I feel
like you get so much support that you're not expecting every time.
And I never believe it's going to be there, but it always comes and it just takes like
one little like vulnerable moment.
And I feel like you get your treat not too far after.
It's not that long.
You know, for real.
And I think the importance with that, too, is being open because it's all that stuff's
always happening.
And as long as we are perceiving it as happening, like if we're just like, this isn't going
to work out and then it's not.
But if you're like, all right, I'm going to take one little step in this direction, you
will find that support, whether it's somebody at the grocery store who says something to
you that sparks a new idea, or you mentioned in passing that you're picking up a new skill
or hobby.
And they're like, oh, I know this person who does X, Y, and Z.
You should go to this workshop.
And then you go and then you meet.
It's like those little nuggets are placed there for a reason.
And like, as long as you're open to seeing them, because they're always going to be popping
up and you follow those, then you can really move in any direction.
But it's like that little consistent kind of pester, not pestering, but like you're
poking at it.
You're like, I'm going to keep trying.
I'm going to keep trying.
And, and that that is definitely what creates it.
And I think too, in terms of expanding a comfort zone is so interesting because it's like a
comfort zone is a comfort zone until we step outside of it a little bit.
And then the comfort zone gets a little bit bigger because we just expanded it.
And so that feeling of feeling a little scared is always going to be there because it's a
thing we haven't done before.
And then it's a thing we haven't done before.
But as long as we keep trusting that that support is going to keep showing up.
I've done this before.
I've seen this before.
Let me do it again.
Give myself that tough love.
Like it's that endless cycle, but it's also so rewarding.
It's like not instant gratification.
It's that delayed gratification kind of similarity.
Absolutely.
It's delayed gratification.
That's like a very important underline because I think we, yeah, but this is also important
too.
I think it's such an internal struggle.
It's not perceived on the outside anywhere close to what we think.
People tell me they think I'm so confident and that I haven't, like it's shocking every
single time.
But when I started teaching yoga in 2016, I threw up before teaching my class for like
six months.
That's how terrified I was.
Wow.
And it's actually what I have had to climb out of, it was terrifying to me to have that
much like, yeah, have everyone in the class paying attention doing what I was saying.
Like it was just insane to me.
And you know, not one person ever would have thought that.
Like I had to sit with this and like this whole internal journey that has been so much
tougher than what has been perceived on the outside.
So I really tried to give context, but also I had to learn too that I would feel like
that overwhelming like nervous system dysregulation, right?
Because my body is saying like, this is not safe and I would have to step into something.
And then yeah, as you push the barriers of that comfort zone, there are going to be moments
where you have to regulate and self soothe like as you're going, like that is where
like kind of that gentle parenting for yourself comes in.
Like I would do something and then I would have to hug myself and be like, we are literally
good.
Like we are fine.
Like I know it doesn't feel that way, but we are like, we actually are good.
And I'd have to do something scary, regulate myself through that fear and then do something
scary and then regulate myself.
It was not, if you let the feeling be like the utmost truth, it's just not a very accurate
description when you've had like layers of trauma and layers of stuff.
Like that's just an important thing to realize.
Your nervous system is screaming the hardest moments at you because it doesn't want you
to get hurt again.
But the blueprint of our nervous system for it to be rewritten and expanded, we have to
do this like little bit of scary, then a lot of bit of self soothing.
And I think for a lot of us and for many adults, you numb it all out with drugs and alcohol
and any type of thing so that you don't have to do this like dance back and forth.
And you think because you are so scared, like something's fucked up with you.
So it's important to share that the journey is like so much messier and that's how it
is like truly.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that about, you know, every for every class for six months,
getting sick before you talk.
That is the fact, first of all, that you kept showing up the bravery that that takes.
Like I actually started to have tears in my eyes when you were talking about that because
I just that is so brave.
And it's just also so interesting to me that you didn't say maybe this isn't for me.
Like did you just you just knew like this is what I needed to do.
I think every single time, like we said, like the little nuggets that come in to validate,
like it would be like, why am I doing this?
And then after class, I'd have, you know, four students stay and be like, you have changed
my life.
Like these classes are like shifting everything.
And I go up there and be like, OK, like I need like ten bras.
So like, let's do it together, like just trying to sit with that fear.
It's also hilarious when you're doing something scary and then the actual practice helps.
Like it was nice to have yoga.
Real.
But yeah, I always would get something just when it was scary and I like wanted to quit.
And there's been moments in TikTok, too, of like, is all of this like worth it?
And then you get like the private message, like story that's just like so good.
And you're like, OK, like people are seeing me.
This is terrifying.
And it's just the analysis of feeling like over analysis of like the feeling and then
letting that cut off everything else.
Like I do think I will, whether it's been all the dissociation for my feelings from
for so long, I think I have like definitely learned that when a feeling is there, that
there is both a wisdom to it.
And I also need to like, yeah, hold space and figure out where it's coming from, because
if I ran with every feeling I felt, I would not have been able to be where I'm at in
any way, because my feelings say crazy, crazy shit.
Like real.
Wow.
This is making me have two questions for you from what my first question based off of what
you just said about holding space for the feeling and figuring out where it's coming
from.
What does that look like?
And then after that, I'd love to hear more about what you said earlier about self soothing
and some of your techniques, because I think when we're talking about moving out of your
comfort zone, that is so crucial.
Like you said, you move out of the comfort zone and then you soothe.
And it's a lot of that balance.
So first, what does holding space for your feelings look like to you?
And then self soothing.
Yeah, I think-
Please and thank you.
The two go hand in hand, so it's perfect.
Yeah.
So I know this is a very different processing system.
So I have ADHD and autism.
So I am definitely neuro spicy.
I think that comes into play like loud, but I know my processing system is a little bit
different, but I don't feel my feelings in real time well at all.
Yeah, it'll come through as loud sensations, like getting sick beforehand, but it doesn't
register quite normally.
I feel like I will have a delay because yeah, I'll be feeling something later and yeah,
it just doesn't ever feel like it fully syncs up.
So holding space for my emotions is way more actually carving out time for practices to
let feelings actually surface up.
So I know I created this little thing.
I call it my happiness formula.
I've been doing it for, it's almost six years.
It's crazy actually.
And at the beginning of each week, I just, yeah, I put it on my phone usually in a little
white board and I make myself either run or hike because for me getting in nature or having
a run just helps me get into my body louder.
I do a little bit of work on actually building muscle strength because for me, I'm hypermobile
and pain in my body also can distort my moving through life.
And then I make time to read, meditate, and do yoga.
And I do three little check marks.
And then as I do them throughout the week, I erase one of my little marks until I've
done all of it because I feel like that is all time to show up for my body.
So when I run or when I go on hikes is usually like when I can actually start feeling my
body more.
And then all of a sudden emotions will come out.
It happens all the time.
Like I do something very physical and then emotions will actually release because I,
yeah, I won't experience them without that physical component because of just my mind
and body needing that like sync up to happen.
And yoga for me too, like showing up to that three days a week that none of these have
any restrictions to it.
Doesn't say I have to do it for an hour.
It doesn't say I have to do it for this, but it's time carved out where I'm showing up
consistently for myself.
Like reading might look very different on certain days.
My meditating sometimes putting on headphones and playing a song and making myself dance.
Like it can be very vast, but it's like without that show up time, I don't hold space for
any feelings.
I will literally go on autopilot through my entire life and just work and then come home
and do that and then say, I need food.
And then this, and then all of a sudden I have like no idea what I'm feeling and sensing.
I'm not connecting to anything in that deeper like way.
And I crave that connection now because I fall like hell to get it.
So I know how important those practices are.
And so yeah, I think the self soothing is really showing up in those ways to me.
Like reading gets me into a place.
I like to read, you know, books that'll help me imagine different things or help me learn
something new or expand my mindset in some way.
And yeah, all those things just end up funneling, I guess, like a area of life where I can feel
louder.
And so that's a feel of the self soothing.
Yeah.
That makes so much sense.
I love what you said.
It allows you to feel louder.
Because that was like your feelings are louder now because so for you, it's really, really
all about that physical processing to like getting your body moving.
Like that helps you to kind of feel those feelings and create the space for them.
It's so physical and that makes so much sense to me.
It makes so much sense.
Okay.
Thank you for sharing that.
So I mean, would you say then for somebody listening who's like, okay, how do I hold
space for my feelings that might be their avenue?
It might not.
Theirs could be writing, it could be like, but would you say for someone who's looking
to do that, try out different avenues and find what brings that feeling up for you?
Absolutely.
And I know some people's feelings hit like way before like thinking patterns can come
out.
And yeah, I think there's two types of processing systems and both are like just as valid.
I would say like, I think this is so connected to like attachment wounds and like so many
filters of all of it, but-
Oh my gosh.
I'm curious.
I want you to get into that, but-
But like I'm more avoidant.
So for me, the avoidance, I'm so much more of like, I need to be by myself.
I don't feel as safe with other people as I do myself.
So for me, having that personal time helps me drop in enough that then I can go into
connections more.
Sure.
But I can say that there's been multiple sources of like having to learn to process
feelings.
I've also had to hold really big space for feelings and how uncomfortable I am with connecting
with other people.
And that's a whole other like form of processing that I had to do.
Like I think everyone's journey is going to be so personal.
There isn't a one formula that fits all, but I do think it's important to look through
the lens of your attachment wounds and your nervous system and your own personal trauma
and kind of think of like what the story is that your body goes into when it is panicked
because some people cling to other people and they don't face themselves at all.
So for them, you might need to go to someone else to regulate down to be able to actually
feel the feelings more.
That might be the go-to system.
And then carving out time to actually like slowly integrate feeling by yourself.
For me, I have to do this very like personal journey to be then be able to go to other
people and be like, can I actually try to talk this out because I know like doing this
all by myself is not good and like I need people.
So I think it's always this play between connection and self.
And like when we're doing anything that feels unsafe to the body, we are addressing our
nervous system.
We are addressing these past stories.
We are addressing the layers to all of this.
And I honestly think like showing up and leaving your comfort zone and spreading whatever your
gifts are, all of this is going to be amplified.
You're going to turn up the volume to level a thousand and you're going to have to start
really having an intentional journey with yourself.
It's worth every freaking bit of it because what blossoms is something that no one will
ever be able to take away from you because it's such an internal journey that ends up
getting to manifest slowly in the external world.
It's like co-creating with the universe.
I think it's the most beautiful worth it thing, but it's a fucking puzzle.
It's really, you agree.
I do agree.
I feel like it's like this intuitive puzzle that like your pieces of that puzzle are nobody
else's puzzle pieces are going to like fit and to create the whole picture.
Like you might meet some fateful people along the way, whether that be a relationship or
a friendship where like you were saying, you find that person who you can say, okay, I
sat with my feelings.
I want to try talking this through with you.
Those are people who can maybe fit some pieces of your puzzle, but the whole picture and
all the shapes, they're going to look different for each person.
It's like finding what it is for you.
I think maybe hearing that, you might think like, okay, what is it for me?
You don't have to know it right away either.
These things slowly, slowly, slowly unfold and become clearer as time goes on.
And that's something that I've really learned a lot more lately.
It could be because I recently, you know, like I turned 25 a few months ago and my frontal
lobe is fully developed.
Maybe that's why I don't know, but I feel like now for the first time, I'm just starting
to realize after doing, you know, quote unquote, the work for a long time.
And I know it's ongoing that like these things click into place oftentimes like without forcing
them, without needing to understand like even fully what's going on, just following the
feeling and following, oh, this made me feel a certain way.
This made me feel better.
This made my nervous system go haywire.
Like what's this is all reflection.
You're reflecting.
So every single thing's a trial and error.
And like I do think like journaling and reflecting on the befores and afters is how you actually
piece it.
It's not knowing first.
You're not going to just know and then it's going to happen.
It's all trial and error.
Like, oh, very interesting when I actually did that, that, you know, created this.
It's actually pausing enough to reflect, which I think is huge.
Yeah.
I think that's always been my thing of like, how do I know?
How do I know it's working?
How do I?
I think that's why this com this podcast is called uncomplicated because it's like, let's
uncomplicated.
So I'm glad we're talking about it in this way of, of it's about the trial and error.
It's about the experience.
Absolutely.
And the attachment style thing blew my mind because now you've got me thinking about it.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh.
I just want some of your attachment.
You're okay.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, sometimes it's, I used to be so attached.
Yeah.
I think that if you have attachment, it's going to ride a roller coaster.
Right.
Like I swung to the other, I'm never doing that again.
And swung to the other side of the pendulum.
Right.
And so, yeah, I mean, really, yeah, if you're listening, you know, your attachment style
might be good to dive in and try to make those connections.
Right.
That's an incredibly profound thing.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, your, your trauma is going to play into everything.
So that's, that was such a journey for me to like go through and actually like piece
together, like why I respond to certain things.
And like, yeah, I think reflect on, do you feel calmer when you're alone?
Do you feel calmer when you're with other people?
Like seeing the things that soothe you, like I share a lot on my TikTok page too, like
meditation for me, like has to look a lot different because of my neurodivergence.
So I think learning your sensory needs is a part of it too, to figure out what self
soothes you because yeah, there's some people do really good with like no sensation at all,
dropping in.
Some people might need to dance to calm themselves down.
Yes.
It's just, if you're not experimenting on anything besides like letting your thoughts
spiral, you're not probably going to be able to, you're never going to be able to think
your way into something that's going to like numb, uh, yeah, the actual sensations.
You're going to be meant to be growing.
And as you grow, you're going to have to face shadow places, like things that you don't
want to face.
And you're not going to just be able to solve it all in your head and then have complete
control and then walk through life and not feel anything.
You don't get to not feel anything.
I'm sorry.
Literally, literally.
And it is, and someday they're all the feelings are probably just going to hit.
They're gonna like put themselves in front of you anyway.
And that is when also, would you say that's also when, you know, like, uh, chronic, not
chronic illnesses, but like physical, um, ailments hit, like all of a sudden we're whacked with
something that is like debilitating or you have some experience that causes you to look
at it.
And that might be somebody's path too, because not everybody, you know, is so intrigued by
this kind of thing and is so interested in their own emotions and wanting to do.
And sometimes they get, you know, smacked with it.
Like, I definitely, and we've all been through our roller coaster of that too, of, of having
those experiences, kind of like we talked about at the beginning of the episode where
you were like in that comfort zone, you had, you know, the friend group and everywhere
that it took you.
And then you were like, I need to look at this and like, that's how it goes.
And now, yeah, your, your point is so funny with the physical therapy thing.
I can like tie that in because I, I swear it's beautiful.
If you're listening to this episode and you are even like on the journey of some reflection,
like you have no idea how many miles ahead you are for just giving a shit about this
stuff.
Like it's huge.
You don't get to go through this life and not, I mean, you can literally fight this,
but life will keep trying to get you to understand how to willingly like expand and leave, leave
comfort zones behind.
You are going to be taught it.
And I think your point is I see it all the time.
I work with the age range primarily probably about 50 to like 75.
I used to work a lot younger clientele, but now that's kind of my prime.
And so I'm dealing with our parents and grandparents.
Okay.
So I'll tell you, because we all know that they're not facing half of their shit and
we're doing the work for them.
They, when they all of a sudden can't, they have, so yeah, you, you stop being able to
walk something happens, you know, you get an injury all of a sudden, your body pain
is so loud and you literally are faced with the lesson of my body is trying to tell me
something.
I can't run away from it.
I can't work my way around this.
I'm having to ask for help.
I'm having to practice receiving.
I'm having to actually state what's going on.
Like your body will eventually like the people that haven't faced their shit when I'm working
with them in physical therapy, I am watching layers of themselves like unveil because they
have never practiced sitting in one bit of discomfort and they will try everything.
I have patients cuss me out, like get the fuck out of here.
Like, I'm not doing any of this, like, and I'll just hold space and sit there and be
like, I am here to help and you're not going to be able to get better if you don't work
with me.
Like this is actually happening to you.
And then watching the excuses from anger to then crying to then like you watch them become
like a little kid truly because it's they're terrified and in there they don't know how
to actually do anything with their fear.
They don't know how to do anything but shut down and push people out.
And all of a sudden I'm teaching them to peer into the pain, practice moving with the pain,
practice trusting that the pain is not going to eat you alive.
Every lesson of actual life comes around in some way.
If you don't face it in other ways, I really do feel like yeah, body injury is one and
like chronic illness.
I, oh my gosh, that's a whole other speech, but I think so many layers to learning how
to interact with our nervous system face discomfort is like tied into literally every single point
of this existence.
Like can nerd out about it for forever.
Oh my gosh, I want to nerd out with you about it forever.
I genuinely do this.
So interesting.
Yeah.
So interesting.
And you know, a thing that kept coming up in my mind was it's so vulnerable.
It's so vulnerable, especially for the folks who you work with, who have, you know, like
you said, never sat with that discomfort.
Yeah.
It's our parents and grandparents and generations of pain.
Like you think about how when we try to get them to reflect on one thing, like I'm sure
so many people have this in their family.
Like they don't want to do it and you think there's no help.
And then Jen comes up as their physical therapy.
Like, oh no, we're going to pay some shadows.
Here we go.
Like, let's go.
Oh yeah.
And thank goodness it's you.
You know what I mean?
Thank goodness it's you in the room and, and not somebody who's very, is this the right
word didactical?
Yeah.
Like very didactical about it.
Like it's only on paper and like your knee hurts because there's a tendon doing the
wrong thing.
Like, okay, we can acknowledge the physical and also let's, let's do this.
And it kind of, I, oh God, I, yeah, I could nerd out with you about it forever too.
Fully, fully could.
Fully could.
I mean, I don't think, I just don't think your life is going to keep teaching you, but
it is so beautiful.
What I can say is that the patients that I have gotten to work with that have done the
work, the way that they accept and hold space for what's happening.
And then the difference between like some patients like really literally appear like
they're about to be stomped on by like a shoe.
They're like a little aunt just scurrying like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And like just terrified and you watch it.
And then you see the ones that are like just dropped in.
And I obviously love to hear everyone's life story and dig in.
And it's just beautiful.
It's beautiful to see that this work matters on so many other levels because it's how
you show up in the world and in connection and all of the layers of that.
So yeah.
Oh, oh my gosh.
Yeah.
It's, this is interesting too.
I was driving the other day and I drove by a physical therapy place in my, you know,
local that I had never seen before.
And I thought to myself, physical therapy might be a cool thing to like study.
So this is so interesting.
We're talking about this and you know, things pop up when you're willing to step out of
your comfort zone.
And it's, it's cool how it shows up for you in your profession, in your life, in your
life's work, in your passions in that sense.
And what I really appreciate about this conversation too, is that it was, it's so much about leaving
your comfort zone in terms of feeling, feeling your feelings.
And going inward.
Because I think a lot of the time, like when we think of leaving our comfort zone, we take
it as taking a huge leap and doing a crazy thing or going on a big roller coaster or
moving to a new city, which I did recently and like did a whole episode reflecting on.
And while that totally is, yes, part of leaving your comfort zone, what follows you, no matter
what you do is that inner, is that feeling, is your body, your physical sensation.
So it's just, there's so many tools I feel like we can pull from, from this episode two
of that self-soothing, that understanding what's happening, why it's happening and why,
even though you feel like you're unsafe, you're actually safe.
You know, like, okay, this is just my body's trying to protect me.
My nervous system's trying to protect me, but I'm okay.
I can do this.
And then all of a sudden you get the spiritual side where all these people come in that are
just like beautiful.
There's so many.
That's my favorite part.
That's the best.
Yeah.
Cause you're actually like open to connection.
You realize like your huge block is just a resistance.
Like honestly.
Right.
Yeah.
There's so much to feel in this life.
Like why not feel it?
Like there's so much to go into when I go into it.
I just, this work is so important and I think this conversation is going to really inspire
a lot of people to keep doing it, to keep going.
Keep going.
Yeah.
You got this, everybody.
I love this.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
All right.
I feel like this conversation came to a beautiful, beautiful blossom.
Amazing.
All right.
Well, is there anything you want to plug right now for the people listening?
Where can they find you?
Yeah.
Tell us anything that you want us to know.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
I know my page on Instagram and Tik Tok is Sensible Wellness.
My website, sensiblewellness.com.
I do some private bodywork stuff, but I, yeah, astrology is a huge thing.
I offer astrology readings.
My own personal podcast is Awaken Together that I co-host with Kat.
And yeah, I love to share all of the things.
So there's lots of different stuff up on the internet, on YouTube, on podcasts, everything,
just to share all these things.
So thanks for having me.
And how can we plug you too?
We're going to share this online as well.
Yeah.
Okay.
Go listen on Jen's Awaken Together episode two, and you're going to hear the same thing
twice, but do it if you're coming from Uncommon Kato.
Lots to reflect on.
So much.
Listen twice.
No.
Yeah.
Hi, Caitlin.
You can find me.
I'm called the Uncomplicated Podcast.
Uncomplicate is one word that's not in the dictionary, but I made it up for creative
purposes, uncomplicated, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
And then on Tik Tok, I'm Caitlin Burns, 444, C-A-I-T-L-Y-N.
And then on Instagram, I'm Caitlin A. Burns.
And you can find me there.
We're in a lot of cool, new, moving in fun, new directions.
I share mainly holistic wellness, mindset, confidence, and some lifestyle stuff too,
getting into recipes, kind of just everything.
And it's a good time.
So come join.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Awesome.
Thanks for a beautiful conversation.
Thank you.
I'm so glad that we got to do this.
So glad that we got to do this.