1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,720
All right, all right, all right.

2
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,560
Welcome back to the uncomplicated podcast.

3
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,140
It's me, Caitlin.

4
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:12,140
Welcome back.

5
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,820
If you're listening for the first time, welcome in general.

6
00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:16,500
So happy to have you here.

7
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,500
Today we have such a cool guest on.

8
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,640
We've already been chatting a little bit and the energy is flowing.

9
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,640
The vibes are good.

10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:30,160
I'm so excited to introduce Jen Wilson, AKA Senseful Wellness on TikTok.

11
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,160
Hey, how you doing?

12
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,160
Welcome.

13
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,160
Hi.

14
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,160
Thank you for having me.

15
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:39,360
I feel like this has been a fated conversation for a very long time.

16
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,360
So it's so nice to be here.

17
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,360
So have you have you.

18
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,720
And yeah, I couldn't agree more.

19
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:50,280
Y'all, if you could have seen kind of like the back, the back ends of making this happen.

20
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:54,760
I was so scatterbrained and she was so patient with me.

21
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:58,280
And you know, if you listen to the pod, you've been, you know, I've been going through a

22
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,680
lot of travel and things like that.

23
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,480
So now we're finally in a grounded place, ready to dive into this conversation about

24
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,080
comfort zones today.

25
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:09,240
We have been, this has been the topic we wanted to speak on since we had the idea.

26
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,240
Absolutely.

27
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:17,040
And I feel like we have followed each other's journeys virtually for so long that, yeah,

28
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,700
it feels crazy and very surreal.

29
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:25,040
And I've watched you grow so much just from far away, rooting you on someone I've never

30
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,000
met in person, but it feels, yeah, it felt so aligned.

31
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,240
I feel like the, we've both been on the TikTok world.

32
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:41,200
I've like slowly built my TikTok over time and it's been so beautiful to have these consistent

33
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:46,360
faces pop up that have just been like, okay, we're all still here showing up, doing these

34
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,360
things.

35
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,720
And yeah, I've wanted to have a conversation with you like this.

36
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,280
So yeah, I love that.

37
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,280
Thank you.

38
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,560
It's been, it's so funny how you said like seeing all these familiar faces, cause it

39
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,160
really does kind of feel like its own world in a way where you're like, okay, you're

40
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,480
walking into the space and there's a free you page and you don't know some of the faces.

41
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,520
And then it's like when you walk into the lunch room and you're looking around, you're

42
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,520
like, Oh my God, I don't know anyone.

43
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,520
But you like see your friend at the table.

44
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,720
You're like, Oh, thank God they're here today.

45
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,720
Absolutely.

46
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,000
Cause we just been out here doing this thing.

47
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,000
Since what?

48
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,000
2020 for you said?

49
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
Right.

50
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
Yeah.

51
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
Absolutely.

52
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:31,880
So yeah, for those who don't know any of my stuff, like I, yeah, I started off like my

53
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,600
background is really in physical therapy.

54
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,920
That's like what I went to school for.

55
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:45,240
And yeah, I, when I got onto TikTok, like I was in such a transition phase in my life.

56
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:50,520
I had gone through like lots of layers of starting to process childhood trauma, lots

57
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,080
of layers of like processing religion trauma.

58
00:02:54,080 --> 00:03:00,280
I was raised like super deep in the evangelical Christian world.

59
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:06,960
And like, there was so much layers of healing and I had really started my journey like on

60
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:14,880
my yoga mat of kind of coming to like a more spiritual path and mind and body stuff.

61
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:19,040
I really like love the link because of physical therapy, like being there.

62
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:25,080
But then yeah, the layers of healing from the yoga mat, getting into energy work and

63
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,080
getting into astrology.

64
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:32,200
And then it's like factoring in all these tools for like self-awareness, self-healing,

65
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:36,280
like really, yeah, it was almost my own journey more than anything.

66
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,840
And then just like piecing information in as I was discovering it about myself, but

67
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,540
just realizing how much deeper everything was.

68
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:49,580
And then yeah, having, it's just our healthcare system in the US and like the layers to that

69
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:55,720
have been so deep, but working with patients and realizing like how much depth I crave

70
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,720
and connection and then watching patients that think they're just fixing their shoulder

71
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,000
and physical therapy.

72
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:07,040
And then we're talking about like layers of trauma and heart healing and inner child

73
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,040
healing.

74
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,760
And then just seeing like we cannot compartmentalize some of this stuff.

75
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:19,520
And I love like every single funnel and system to like look at yourself and then figure out

76
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,200
how to connect deeper.

77
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:26,080
And I've kind of created my TikTok page and my own podcast, all like just exploring that

78
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,080
journey.

79
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:32,440
And yeah, there was such a little community that got built on TikTok because I could tell

80
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,520
the people that were like posting and just sharing.

81
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:40,360
And I think a lot of us were like sharing very vulnerable stuff at a time, like in the

82
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:44,320
pandemic when there wasn't a lot of stability.

83
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:50,640
And I watched this all shift so much and it's been so cool to see everyone step into different

84
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:56,520
paths, but then also like very much care about stepping out of our comfort zone and showing

85
00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:01,440
up in a way as we're messy, like living through this life.

86
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,440
Yeah.

87
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,440
Oh, oh my gosh.

88
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,960
I love the way you put all of that.

89
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:07,960
Yes.

90
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,960
I followed along.

91
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,320
I felt like I was on like this beautiful like flower, like there was a flower and it was

92
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,320
like slowly opening.

93
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:18,160
Like I felt like I watched it kind of happen as you were telling that kind of trajectory

94
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,520
of where you started and how it just kept, I kept hearing in my head, like we can't have

95
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,560
one without the other, like talking about, you know, physical therapy and you're working

96
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,680
with somebody on helping their shoulder.

97
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:35,160
And then all of a sudden you're diving into childhood trauma and like what they are carrying

98
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,120
maybe.

99
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:43,960
And that is something that I really just believe is so, so important and not like talked about

100
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:50,840
a lot and seen a lot in, you know, like modern day, like Western or yeah, Western medicine

101
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,920
and tying it all together is so interesting.

102
00:05:53,920 --> 00:06:00,880
And I'm curious when you talked about realizing your own journey through the physical therapy

103
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,360
and you ended up on your mat and then was it intuitive?

104
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:09,920
Like were these moments just kind of like, you know, the cliche term is downloads, but

105
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,120
were they downloads?

106
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:16,160
Was it like I'm on my mat, I'm sobbing for apparently no reason or something like that,

107
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,960
but then I realized this is why I'm moving through it.

108
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,280
Did you have like specific mentors, one yoga class you were in where you like were like,

109
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,200
oh my God, hit with the like the light bulb.

110
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,040
How did that kind of go for you?

111
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,520
Yeah, thank you.

112
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,520
Great question.

113
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:37,640
Yeah, it was going into yoga, it's hilarious when I started because I'm such a, I share

114
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,640
this a lot.

115
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:45,520
Like I, it's taken me so long to trust my feelings as loudly as my thoughts because

116
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:52,680
I'm such a processor in my head and like dropping into my body was like pretty much non-existent

117
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,320
due to all the circumstances.

118
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,120
So when I started yoga, I was just like, oh, this is cool.

119
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,840
It's like exactly like physical therapy.

120
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:05,360
I loved the bridge of like the poses and yoga being like exercises and I like loved just

121
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,920
the physical body practice of it.

122
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:13,120
And I literally went in just like thinking it could be like a, an opportunity to like

123
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:18,320
stretch more, like just very not thinking it was going to be like a portal unlocking

124
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,200
like so much.

125
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:25,840
And it honestly took, I was so neurotic about yoga when I started, I like wanted to do all

126
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,160
the poses right.

127
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:33,000
I was so technical about it and then I think just because I kept showing up and like loving

128
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:38,720
how my body felt after I showed up enough times that eventually became so automatic

129
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:43,320
that it started like stripping into the next layer of like, I'm breathing now and I'm

130
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,240
like memorizing flow.

131
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,520
And then all of a sudden, yeah, like the random crying was like, wait, what?

132
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:54,200
That was definitely like early on classes where I'd be like, wait, what?

133
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:59,400
And then I'd have like shaking through my body and I'm just like, damn, there is some

134
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,120
stuff like in my body.

135
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:09,640
And I realized too, like I think earlier on in yoga, the final pose you take in any class

136
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,280
is Shavasana, you lay and you rest.

137
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,840
I would like sit up and look around.

138
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:20,760
Like I just realized how terrified I was to like lay down and I couldn't really see how

139
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,320
my discomfort was presenting.

140
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,160
Yeah, yeah.

141
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:30,040
So I think through just showing up on the yoga mat consistently and realizing that my

142
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,480
body was like holding stories.

143
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:37,440
Like it was the first time crying without having thought provoke the crying.

144
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,480
It was like my body experiencing an emotion with no thought.

145
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,040
And I was like, this is crazy to me.

146
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:51,040
And yeah, I feel like each time it felt really like a lot lighter, but that was like the

147
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:59,640
journey into realizing how, yeah, my relationship to discomfort was really askew for staying

148
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:05,240
on theme with the episode and realizing like I couldn't even sit with myself for five seconds.

149
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:11,040
Like Shavasana being that triggering was wild that I could not lay down without like thinking

150
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,240
I'd like open my eyes and be like, is everyone looking at me?

151
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,320
And I'm like, okay, no.

152
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,000
And then I'm just like, gosh, watching myself and I'm like, I don't know how to relax.

153
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,360
I don't know how to rest.

154
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:26,320
I don't know how to like actually just like pause in any way and just realizing how far

155
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:32,640
I had gotten and being like comfortable in my own body was wild to see.

156
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,200
And I think that yeah, was the catalyst to so much.

157
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,200
Wow.

158
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,200
Yeah.

159
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,200
Wow.

160
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,080
It's, it's, it's kind of interesting that you found your way out of your comfort zone

161
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,240
by sitting with all of your discomfort, like physically.

162
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,920
And it kind of sounds like it literally spoke to you when you, when you spoke on like crying

163
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:57,280
and not having it be spurred by thoughts and actually realizing like, Oh, I can feel emotions

164
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,040
that aren't based on thought.

165
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,840
Like you were talking about earlier, your thought kind of creating emotion and that

166
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,280
doesn't always have to be, sometimes it's from the bottom up.

167
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,280
Yeah.

168
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,880
I used to, we had this teacher in the second grade and she used to have us close our eyes

169
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,720
and put our feet on the ground and kind of do a meditation of sorts.

170
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,680
And I remember I used to, I couldn't close my eyes.

171
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,760
I would look around and be like, why are our eyes closed?

172
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,560
What's going to happen while my eyes are closed?

173
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,120
And it reminded me of that when you said you'd set up during Shavasana.

174
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,120
It's uncomfortable.

175
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,120
Yeah, absolutely.

176
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,120
Absolutely.

177
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,120
Absolutely.

178
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,960
So yeah, like you said, staying on the skew, like the theme of today's episode, leaving

179
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,360
your comfort zone, what is a comfort zone?

180
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:44,640
What for you was your experience in kind of discovering this important information within

181
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:49,920
yourself and then deciding you need or I need, I want to share this with people.

182
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,960
It's 2020, it's peak pandemic, TikTok is a thing.

183
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,240
What did that look like for you?

184
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,520
Yeah.

185
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:03,760
So I do think I really believe truly, which it's good to even reflect on that, that if

186
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:11,760
I wouldn't have learned to face my own internal discomfort, I think everything external before

187
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:17,680
then would have been coming from just like a place that was not authentic.

188
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:22,240
It would have been like really paying attention to how others were responding to me, just

189
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,720
really caring what other people think in a toxic way, like not away from actually knowing

190
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:32,600
myself, but trying to keep up with what I thought until I actually dealt with my own

191
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:39,800
substance itself and like had to do so much internal work.

192
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:44,760
And I think that just looked like a lot of catching up on emotions that I really didn't

193
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,920
get permission to feel for most of my life.

194
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:55,480
So it was a very delayed inner child, inner teen phase, I think that I had to face in

195
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,880
and feel and give space and time for.

196
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:04,720
And then, yeah, I think right when the pandemic hit, I had done, I had already done Reiki.

197
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,880
I'm a Reiki master.

198
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,240
I started energy work and I think I was already pretty on the past.

199
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:19,520
So then when so many people in 2020, it was a lot of society's first time of pausing

200
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,880
and kind of going through Shavasana, yoga mat, fear.

201
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,840
It was a worldwide Shavasana.

202
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,560
What do I do when everything pauses and I have to deal with myself?

203
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,400
And I had already begun that journey.

204
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:40,800
So I think I stepped into then a new layer of discomfort, which it is a very empowering

205
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:45,600
thing to actually start choosing discomfort.

206
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:52,680
And I do think we should totally talk about the fact that willing yourself into discomfort

207
00:12:52,680 --> 00:13:00,840
versus the universe having to shove you into discomfort is a beautiful higher self lesson

208
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,600
to the universe is going to make you keep growing.

209
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,840
We are designed to keep expanding and you can fight like hell to not.

210
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:17,000
But I was shoved into discomfort beforehand and then to willingly step into it with that

211
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,800
feeling of like, okay, this is fucking scary.

212
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:26,680
My first TikTok I ever made, I remember shaking as I hit record and just being like, oh my,

213
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,680
this is crazy.

214
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:29,680
Like nuts.

215
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,680
I was so scared.

216
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,680
I was like, is this live?

217
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,600
Like, I remember being like so red and being like, oh my God, did I even do that right?

218
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:36,600
Like I was scary.

219
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,600
Oh my God.

220
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,600
It terrified.

221
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,600
Am I making sense?

222
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,600
Like, God.

223
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:49,560
And then yeah, just like working through the camera like of TikTok was so healing.

224
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:55,560
And yeah, it was a choice that like I knew I needed to figure out how to actually put

225
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,120
my voice out there again.

226
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:03,160
I had had such an internal journey up to that point and I really wanted it to be external.

227
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:08,840
And I really wanted to, I remember there was like a little voice of like, you have done

228
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,160
so much work.

229
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,520
You have studied so many different things.

230
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,200
Like you can't just like keep all that information inside.

231
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:23,240
There's never going to be a point where you like have just enough information.

232
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,360
Like it's time to start like cataloging it.

233
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,880
It felt like I needed to at least have like a way to output.

234
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,480
And I felt that really strongly.

235
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:38,360
So I made my TikTok journey almost to trick my brain probably in some ways of like, let's

236
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:46,120
get all the stuff we know just like into a thing and like have it all out there and to

237
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:51,280
start practicing being in front of the camera so that like potentially we know how to talk

238
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,000
about these things in other spaces.

239
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,560
That was like my initial bargain with myself.

240
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,560
Okay.

241
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,920
So you bargained with yourself.

242
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:02,760
I think that's actually such a great approach because it's kind of breaking down something

243
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,200
that seems so massive.

244
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:09,040
And when we leave our comfort zones or do something that's scary to us, it seems so

245
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,040
daunting.

246
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,360
So I think bargaining with yourself in that way, it's still getting you to do the thing.

247
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,240
You're still working toward the goal, but it's in more of a bite size piece.

248
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,720
And then when you rip that bandaid off and start to see, oh, this literally isn't so

249
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,480
bad or oh, people do want to hear what I have to say.

250
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,720
You kind of gain that confidence to keep expanding your comfort zone.

251
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:28,720
Would you say that is my outline?

252
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,720
Absolutely.

253
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,720
I want to hear yours.

254
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,720
I want to hear yours too.

255
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,720
Okay.

256
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:40,800
I mean, it was similar in the sense of like, I noticed what was going on in the world.

257
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,480
I mean, I graduated college in 2020.

258
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:48,440
Like that was my year of, was supposed to be the year of going into the world and oh,

259
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:52,280
now you take on the big, the big world wide world.

260
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,960
I don't know.

261
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,960
Adulting.

262
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,960
Exactly.

263
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,800
And I majored in theater.

264
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,320
So I figured, you know, I'm just going to go to New York and I'm going to audition and

265
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,500
I, this is what I'm supposed to do.

266
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,040
And of course, you know, the world has literally shut down.

267
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,940
Live theater is not happening.

268
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:15,440
So it was kind of one of those moments where I was like, okay, the world's on pause.

269
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,160
I don't know what the heck's going on.

270
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,960
My body was freaking out.

271
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,640
Like fight or flight was activated.

272
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:29,320
I had very strange anxiety responses to like what was going on that my, like I couldn't

273
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:35,160
understand why I was having trouble with like daily bottle, like not daily bodily functions,

274
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:40,680
but I had this thing where like, I could only drink smoothies because like eating food would

275
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,280
like stress me out so much.

276
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:46,920
Like I couldn't physically figure out like how to basic needs.

277
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,280
It was wild.

278
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:55,000
And that's kind of what got me so deeply into understanding the mind, body, spirit kind

279
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,620
of thing.

280
00:16:56,620 --> 00:17:01,680
And I already had dabbled in that kind of stuff and I knew I was interested in it throughout

281
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,100
school and in college.

282
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:09,480
And I would watch, you know, like the classic spiritual YouTubers on YouTube.

283
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,800
And I would just be like, why does this intrigue me so much?

284
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,600
Why am I so drawn to this?

285
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,400
I don't even understand what they're talking about.

286
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:21,480
And then I went to therapy and then I started to understand that we are so multi-dimensional,

287
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:26,040
multifaceted and there are reasons why we make the choices we make and why, you know,

288
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:33,160
we have certain insecurities within relationships or in, you know, not believing in our potential,

289
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,000
our capabilities, that kind of thing.

290
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:42,480
So for me, what I really started to care about was mindset and like self concept and the

291
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,240
way that we think.

292
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:52,520
Yeah, really affects the way that we show up in the world and what we can do because

293
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:57,760
we, you know, we can do anything, but it's what we believe we can do that is what limits

294
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,040
it.

295
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:08,000
And so, yeah, I just started recording TikToks, mainly just talking to the camera, motivational

296
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,640
kind of vibes.

297
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:14,360
And it was usually whatever I needed to hear at the moment.

298
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,520
So, similarly to how you said, okay, like, I'm going to document this stuff because I

299
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:24,400
have so much up here, like in my noggin and in my heart that I know and I've studied,

300
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,040
it's time to at least have somewhere to put it all.

301
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:34,640
And it was sort of that way for me in just a sense of like, okay, how do I process this

302
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:41,760
verbally and almost in a theatrical way because, you know, acting has been something I've done

303
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:42,840
my whole life.

304
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,120
Which is huge for comfort zone testing, by the way.

305
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,120
Oh, yeah.

306
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:53,400
I mean, in terms of like being perceived, at least used to that.

307
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,960
So yeah, that's helpful.

308
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:02,480
But yeah, just understanding and with acting too, something I love and have always loved

309
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:07,580
specifically in my like acting for the camera classes is that like, you're telling the truth

310
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:12,000
under false circumstances is what my teachers would always say.

311
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,240
So it's kind of like, how do I relate?

312
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:22,680
How do I get this message that I feel is so important across in a way that will cause

313
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:27,800
somebody to feel something perhaps and maybe shift their mindset around it in a positive

314
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,500
way and it might not affect someone.

315
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:32,120
They might think it's cringy or stupid and scroll by it.

316
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:36,440
And for me, that was the biggest discomfort was like, what if people from my past find

317
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,440
this account?

318
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:43,120
What if, you know, I get trolled, what if my video goes viral in a negative way and

319
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,800
everyone's making fun of me?

320
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,080
So yeah, I think that was the biggest discomfort thing.

321
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,700
And I just have to keep pushing through it.

322
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:55,240
And I would see, I would get texts sometimes from people and they'd be like, you just came

323
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,240
up my for you page.

324
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,280
And they would be people from my past.

325
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:03,440
So it's funny how you said the universe really will force us to face that discomfort.

326
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,440
That was my fear.

327
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,640
And that's what kept happening.

328
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,080
And I would just be like, Oh no, oh no, oh no, I get the text.

329
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,200
And then they'd say something really kind.

330
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:18,200
And I would be like, Oh, okay, well, I'm just going to take their word that they mean that.

331
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,200
And that's amazing.

332
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,200
Yeah.

333
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,040
And that's kind of what builds the confidence for me.

334
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,520
But it's a daily thing.

335
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,640
It's a daily struggle.

336
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,640
Absolutely.

337
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,640
Yeah.

338
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:33,200
I think that's, that's definitely what we wanted to like, break down in this conversation

339
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,240
like a little bit too is.

340
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,240
Yeah.

341
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:45,600
I think the, oh my God, the amount of lessons I have had to learn that like, yeah, I think,

342
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:50,600
I think younger me always thought that I was going to be able to reach this point where

343
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:57,160
the sensation of fear would go away that like that was coming because I hadn't quite figured

344
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:02,480
it out yet or that I just needed a little bit more or that like once people like knew

345
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,880
what I was about, then that would go away.

346
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:09,840
Like it just always felt like I was trying to calculate how to remove an uncomfortable

347
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,440
emotion that was really the starting journey.

348
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,440
Right?

349
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,440
Yeah.

350
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,440
Yeah.

351
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,440
And then, yeah.

352
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:22,560
And then eventually I was like, this feeling is not going to leave me.

353
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:30,560
So you know, perhaps I can like learn how to factor this thing because I think what kept

354
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:37,080
happening, I clung so hard to a comfort zone that was like so far out of alignment to the

355
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,200
growth that was happening in my life.

356
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:46,360
Like I think back to, I was raised in Florida and I had like, you know, our friend group

357
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:50,280
that was just not going in the greatest path.

358
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:55,000
Like just, we were just partying all the time, not giving a shit about consequences, just

359
00:21:55,000 --> 00:22:02,480
like going really far down a path of like no intentional like way of thinking.

360
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,040
And then, yeah, it was my comfort zone though.

361
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:08,280
And even though I was doing all this like little growth, I was like, you know, it's

362
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,280
fine.

363
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,520
And then I feel like tests after tests kept coming through and being like, this is not

364
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,080
your highest point.

365
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:21,680
Like we are going to keep shoving you into more so that you will actually let this expansion

366
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:28,440
like take root and not keep running and clinging to patterns that like actually make you feel

367
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,480
like shit to hold on to.

368
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,800
But they're familiar and I'm like, I like this because I know what it's going to give

369
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,920
me and I love the control.

370
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,680
And then the university like, yeah, we're going to test the out of control feeling like

371
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:41,680
again.

372
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,480
Like, so yeah, I ended up in jail.

373
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,520
I've shared this on my own podcast.

374
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:50,520
I had so much shit go down like to learn this the hardest way.

375
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:57,200
And on the other side, I can say in retrospect, that fear feeling has just had to become my

376
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,200
best friend.

377
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,200
Like truly.

378
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,200
Yeah.

379
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,200
Wow.

380
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,200
Wow.

381
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:07,680
I love what you said that fear feeling has to just become my best friend that maybe you

382
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,800
give some tough love to your best friend who you're like, hey, hello.

383
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:12,800
Come on.

384
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:13,800
Yeah.

385
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,800
Yeah.

386
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:15,800
I hear you.

387
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,800
Wake up.

388
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:22,560
And the doing it afraid is like the lesson that just like keeps on giving befriending

389
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:23,560
the fear.

390
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,280
And then yeah, I have to like stare the fear in the face and be like, I hear you, but this

391
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,200
isn't real.

392
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,840
And like what you're saying, it's valid, but that doesn't mean that it's going to control

393
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:35,840
our actions.

394
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,040
And I love you.

395
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,040
And I'm sorry.

396
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,040
It's so hard.

397
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,040
Yeah.

398
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,040
Keep going anyway.

399
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:46,200
You know, gentle parenting, but also calling it out on its bullshit.

400
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,200
Like a combo.

401
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,200
Yes.

402
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,200
Absolutely.

403
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,200
Yeah.

404
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,480
It's got, I think it's always got to be a combo of the two for real to have any sort

405
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,760
of growth happening.

406
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,240
It's like, if we're too gentle parent, then like, we're not going to want to leave the

407
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,440
comfort zone, but if we're like too hardcore, then we're just going to be like beating ourselves

408
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,440
up all the time.

409
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,920
It's not going to come from a genuine place.

410
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,480
So I absolutely agree with you.

411
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,360
And it's, it's interesting that sometimes the things that are our comfort zone that we

412
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:15,560
know we're in control of that keep us, you know, stuck, quote unquote stuck.

413
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:20,840
It's like, they're the most comfortable thing and familiar, but also they feel the shittiest.

414
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,520
Like, yeah, it's a baseline.

415
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,480
That's not even worth fighting over.

416
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,160
And you really don't even see that always until retrospect.

417
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:33,280
And I think that there is definitely something that I'm sure you've built momentum on in

418
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,280
your own life.

419
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:40,440
And I have to like, just from the willingness to do things bravely, I guess, like you realize

420
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:47,040
that when you just give the littlest bit in a direction that is something new, I feel

421
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,280
like you get so much support that you're not expecting every time.

422
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:57,360
And I never believe it's going to be there, but it always comes and it just takes like

423
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:01,440
one little like vulnerable moment.

424
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,560
And I feel like you get your treat not too far after.

425
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,480
It's not that long.

426
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,440
You know, for real.

427
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,360
And I think the importance with that, too, is being open because it's all that stuff's

428
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:13,360
always happening.

429
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:17,520
And as long as we are perceiving it as happening, like if we're just like, this isn't going

430
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,800
to work out and then it's not.

431
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,480
But if you're like, all right, I'm going to take one little step in this direction, you

432
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,200
will find that support, whether it's somebody at the grocery store who says something to

433
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:32,740
you that sparks a new idea, or you mentioned in passing that you're picking up a new skill

434
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,020
or hobby.

435
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:37,760
And they're like, oh, I know this person who does X, Y, and Z.

436
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,000
You should go to this workshop.

437
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,640
And then you go and then you meet.

438
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,920
It's like those little nuggets are placed there for a reason.

439
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,440
And like, as long as you're open to seeing them, because they're always going to be popping

440
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:52,440
up and you follow those, then you can really move in any direction.

441
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,280
But it's like that little consistent kind of pester, not pestering, but like you're

442
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,280
poking at it.

443
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,280
You're like, I'm going to keep trying.

444
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,280
I'm going to keep trying.

445
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,120
And, and that that is definitely what creates it.

446
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:14,920
And I think too, in terms of expanding a comfort zone is so interesting because it's like a

447
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,000
comfort zone is a comfort zone until we step outside of it a little bit.

448
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,520
And then the comfort zone gets a little bit bigger because we just expanded it.

449
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:28,560
And so that feeling of feeling a little scared is always going to be there because it's a

450
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,960
thing we haven't done before.

451
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,240
And then it's a thing we haven't done before.

452
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,520
But as long as we keep trusting that that support is going to keep showing up.

453
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,520
I've done this before.

454
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,840
I've seen this before.

455
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:37,840
Let me do it again.

456
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,520
Give myself that tough love.

457
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,360
Like it's that endless cycle, but it's also so rewarding.

458
00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:45,080
It's like not instant gratification.

459
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,400
It's that delayed gratification kind of similarity.

460
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,400
Absolutely.

461
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,400
It's delayed gratification.

462
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:55,640
That's like a very important underline because I think we, yeah, but this is also important

463
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:56,640
too.

464
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,760
I think it's such an internal struggle.

465
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:03,840
It's not perceived on the outside anywhere close to what we think.

466
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:08,920
People tell me they think I'm so confident and that I haven't, like it's shocking every

467
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,160
single time.

468
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:15,240
But when I started teaching yoga in 2016, I threw up before teaching my class for like

469
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,400
six months.

470
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,320
That's how terrified I was.

471
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:20,320
Wow.

472
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:29,240
And it's actually what I have had to climb out of, it was terrifying to me to have that

473
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:34,840
much like, yeah, have everyone in the class paying attention doing what I was saying.

474
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,400
Like it was just insane to me.

475
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,200
And you know, not one person ever would have thought that.

476
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:48,920
Like I had to sit with this and like this whole internal journey that has been so much

477
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,740
tougher than what has been perceived on the outside.

478
00:27:51,740 --> 00:28:00,640
So I really tried to give context, but also I had to learn too that I would feel like

479
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,520
that overwhelming like nervous system dysregulation, right?

480
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:10,540
Because my body is saying like, this is not safe and I would have to step into something.

481
00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:15,140
And then yeah, as you push the barriers of that comfort zone, there are going to be moments

482
00:28:15,140 --> 00:28:19,840
where you have to regulate and self soothe like as you're going, like that is where

483
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,240
like kind of that gentle parenting for yourself comes in.

484
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:26,360
Like I would do something and then I would have to hug myself and be like, we are literally

485
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:27,360
good.

486
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:28,360
Like we are fine.

487
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:32,160
Like I know it doesn't feel that way, but we are like, we actually are good.

488
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:37,760
And I'd have to do something scary, regulate myself through that fear and then do something

489
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,840
scary and then regulate myself.

490
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:47,220
It was not, if you let the feeling be like the utmost truth, it's just not a very accurate

491
00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:51,440
description when you've had like layers of trauma and layers of stuff.

492
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,200
Like that's just an important thing to realize.

493
00:28:54,200 --> 00:29:00,360
Your nervous system is screaming the hardest moments at you because it doesn't want you

494
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,800
to get hurt again.

495
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:07,560
But the blueprint of our nervous system for it to be rewritten and expanded, we have to

496
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:13,520
do this like little bit of scary, then a lot of bit of self soothing.

497
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:20,120
And I think for a lot of us and for many adults, you numb it all out with drugs and alcohol

498
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:24,680
and any type of thing so that you don't have to do this like dance back and forth.

499
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:29,760
And you think because you are so scared, like something's fucked up with you.

500
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:34,640
So it's important to share that the journey is like so much messier and that's how it

501
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,120
is like truly.

502
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:43,120
Yeah, thank you for sharing that about, you know, every for every class for six months,

503
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,160
getting sick before you talk.

504
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:52,080
That is the fact, first of all, that you kept showing up the bravery that that takes.

505
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,880
Like I actually started to have tears in my eyes when you were talking about that because

506
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,000
I just that is so brave.

507
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:04,240
And it's just also so interesting to me that you didn't say maybe this isn't for me.

508
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,040
Like did you just you just knew like this is what I needed to do.

509
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,640
I think every single time, like we said, like the little nuggets that come in to validate,

510
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,080
like it would be like, why am I doing this?

511
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:21,680
And then after class, I'd have, you know, four students stay and be like, you have changed

512
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,680
my life.

513
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,920
Like these classes are like shifting everything.

514
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:30,120
And I go up there and be like, OK, like I need like ten bras.

515
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:34,680
So like, let's do it together, like just trying to sit with that fear.

516
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:39,400
It's also hilarious when you're doing something scary and then the actual practice helps.

517
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,400
Like it was nice to have yoga.

518
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,400
Real.

519
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:51,640
But yeah, I always would get something just when it was scary and I like wanted to quit.

520
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:57,400
And there's been moments in TikTok, too, of like, is all of this like worth it?

521
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:02,840
And then you get like the private message, like story that's just like so good.

522
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:07,160
And you're like, OK, like people are seeing me.

523
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,160
This is terrifying.

524
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:14,040
And it's just the analysis of feeling like over analysis of like the feeling and then

525
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,520
letting that cut off everything else.

526
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:23,760
Like I do think I will, whether it's been all the dissociation for my feelings from

527
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:30,160
for so long, I think I have like definitely learned that when a feeling is there, that

528
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,640
there is both a wisdom to it.

529
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:37,080
And I also need to like, yeah, hold space and figure out where it's coming from, because

530
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:44,000
if I ran with every feeling I felt, I would not have been able to be where I'm at in

531
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,520
any way, because my feelings say crazy, crazy shit.

532
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,080
Like real.

533
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,080
Wow.

534
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:56,960
This is making me have two questions for you from what my first question based off of what

535
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:02,360
you just said about holding space for the feeling and figuring out where it's coming

536
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,360
from.

537
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,640
What does that look like?

538
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:09,040
And then after that, I'd love to hear more about what you said earlier about self soothing

539
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,360
and some of your techniques, because I think when we're talking about moving out of your

540
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,360
comfort zone, that is so crucial.

541
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,040
Like you said, you move out of the comfort zone and then you soothe.

542
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,520
And it's a lot of that balance.

543
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,960
So first, what does holding space for your feelings look like to you?

544
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:24,960
And then self soothing.

545
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:25,960
Yeah, I think-

546
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:26,960
Please and thank you.

547
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,120
The two go hand in hand, so it's perfect.

548
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,120
Yeah.

549
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,960
So I know this is a very different processing system.

550
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,680
So I have ADHD and autism.

551
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,840
So I am definitely neuro spicy.

552
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:46,960
I think that comes into play like loud, but I know my processing system is a little bit

553
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:53,280
different, but I don't feel my feelings in real time well at all.

554
00:32:53,280 --> 00:33:00,080
Yeah, it'll come through as loud sensations, like getting sick beforehand, but it doesn't

555
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,800
register quite normally.

556
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:08,000
I feel like I will have a delay because yeah, I'll be feeling something later and yeah,

557
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,760
it just doesn't ever feel like it fully syncs up.

558
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:16,760
So holding space for my emotions is way more actually carving out time for practices to

559
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,400
let feelings actually surface up.

560
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,400
So I know I created this little thing.

561
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:24,840
I call it my happiness formula.

562
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,120
I've been doing it for, it's almost six years.

563
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,720
It's crazy actually.

564
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:35,440
And at the beginning of each week, I just, yeah, I put it on my phone usually in a little

565
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:43,120
white board and I make myself either run or hike because for me getting in nature or having

566
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:48,120
a run just helps me get into my body louder.

567
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:53,020
I do a little bit of work on actually building muscle strength because for me, I'm hypermobile

568
00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:59,200
and pain in my body also can distort my moving through life.

569
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,920
And then I make time to read, meditate, and do yoga.

570
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,480
And I do three little check marks.

571
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,400
And then as I do them throughout the week, I erase one of my little marks until I've

572
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,520
done all of it because I feel like that is all time to show up for my body.

573
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:17,080
So when I run or when I go on hikes is usually like when I can actually start feeling my

574
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,560
body more.

575
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,320
And then all of a sudden emotions will come out.

576
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:21,320
It happens all the time.

577
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:26,520
Like I do something very physical and then emotions will actually release because I,

578
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:32,360
yeah, I won't experience them without that physical component because of just my mind

579
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,120
and body needing that like sync up to happen.

580
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:41,300
And yoga for me too, like showing up to that three days a week that none of these have

581
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:42,760
any restrictions to it.

582
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,160
Doesn't say I have to do it for an hour.

583
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:49,080
It doesn't say I have to do it for this, but it's time carved out where I'm showing up

584
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,640
consistently for myself.

585
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,840
Like reading might look very different on certain days.

586
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:59,560
My meditating sometimes putting on headphones and playing a song and making myself dance.

587
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:07,820
Like it can be very vast, but it's like without that show up time, I don't hold space for

588
00:35:07,820 --> 00:35:08,820
any feelings.

589
00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:13,400
I will literally go on autopilot through my entire life and just work and then come home

590
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,960
and do that and then say, I need food.

591
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,360
And then this, and then all of a sudden I have like no idea what I'm feeling and sensing.

592
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,400
I'm not connecting to anything in that deeper like way.

593
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,840
And I crave that connection now because I fall like hell to get it.

594
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,600
So I know how important those practices are.

595
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:36,920
And so yeah, I think the self soothing is really showing up in those ways to me.

596
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,040
Like reading gets me into a place.

597
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:44,200
I like to read, you know, books that'll help me imagine different things or help me learn

598
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:49,760
something new or expand my mindset in some way.

599
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:54,720
And yeah, all those things just end up funneling, I guess, like a area of life where I can feel

600
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,120
louder.

601
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,320
And so that's a feel of the self soothing.

602
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,320
Yeah.

603
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,000
That makes so much sense.

604
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,080
I love what you said.

605
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,280
It allows you to feel louder.

606
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,120
Because that was like your feelings are louder now because so for you, it's really, really

607
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,240
all about that physical processing to like getting your body moving.

608
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:20,600
Like that helps you to kind of feel those feelings and create the space for them.

609
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,520
It's so physical and that makes so much sense to me.

610
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,320
It makes so much sense.

611
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,320
Okay.

612
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,320
Thank you for sharing that.

613
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:35,160
So I mean, would you say then for somebody listening who's like, okay, how do I hold

614
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,440
space for my feelings that might be their avenue?

615
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,840
It might not.

616
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,920
Theirs could be writing, it could be like, but would you say for someone who's looking

617
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:49,720
to do that, try out different avenues and find what brings that feeling up for you?

618
00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:50,720
Absolutely.

619
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:55,280
And I know some people's feelings hit like way before like thinking patterns can come

620
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,280
out.

621
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:02,160
And yeah, I think there's two types of processing systems and both are like just as valid.

622
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:07,120
I would say like, I think this is so connected to like attachment wounds and like so many

623
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,640
filters of all of it, but-

624
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:09,640
Oh my gosh.

625
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:10,640
I'm curious.

626
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,200
I want you to get into that, but-

627
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,320
But like I'm more avoidant.

628
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:21,220
So for me, the avoidance, I'm so much more of like, I need to be by myself.

629
00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:24,460
I don't feel as safe with other people as I do myself.

630
00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:29,920
So for me, having that personal time helps me drop in enough that then I can go into

631
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:30,920
connections more.

632
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:31,920
Sure.

633
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:36,400
But I can say that there's been multiple sources of like having to learn to process

634
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,400
feelings.

635
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:42,000
I've also had to hold really big space for feelings and how uncomfortable I am with connecting

636
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,320
with other people.

637
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,560
And that's a whole other like form of processing that I had to do.

638
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:51,340
Like I think everyone's journey is going to be so personal.

639
00:37:51,340 --> 00:37:55,680
There isn't a one formula that fits all, but I do think it's important to look through

640
00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:01,440
the lens of your attachment wounds and your nervous system and your own personal trauma

641
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:07,160
and kind of think of like what the story is that your body goes into when it is panicked

642
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,280
because some people cling to other people and they don't face themselves at all.

643
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:16,720
So for them, you might need to go to someone else to regulate down to be able to actually

644
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,160
feel the feelings more.

645
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,400
That might be the go-to system.

646
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:25,560
And then carving out time to actually like slowly integrate feeling by yourself.

647
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:30,280
For me, I have to do this very like personal journey to be then be able to go to other

648
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,440
people and be like, can I actually try to talk this out because I know like doing this

649
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,000
all by myself is not good and like I need people.

650
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,040
So I think it's always this play between connection and self.

651
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:48,120
And like when we're doing anything that feels unsafe to the body, we are addressing our

652
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,120
nervous system.

653
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,700
We are addressing these past stories.

654
00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:52,960
We are addressing the layers to all of this.

655
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:59,720
And I honestly think like showing up and leaving your comfort zone and spreading whatever your

656
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:03,040
gifts are, all of this is going to be amplified.

657
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,080
You're going to turn up the volume to level a thousand and you're going to have to start

658
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,960
really having an intentional journey with yourself.

659
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:15,880
It's worth every freaking bit of it because what blossoms is something that no one will

660
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:21,440
ever be able to take away from you because it's such an internal journey that ends up

661
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,200
getting to manifest slowly in the external world.

662
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,640
It's like co-creating with the universe.

663
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:32,120
I think it's the most beautiful worth it thing, but it's a fucking puzzle.

664
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:36,040
It's really, you agree.

665
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,040
I do agree.

666
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:38,040
I do agree.

667
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:44,760
I feel like it's like this intuitive puzzle that like your pieces of that puzzle are nobody

668
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,000
else's puzzle pieces are going to like fit and to create the whole picture.

669
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,280
Like you might meet some fateful people along the way, whether that be a relationship or

670
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,280
a friendship where like you were saying, you find that person who you can say, okay, I

671
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:58,280
sat with my feelings.

672
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,120
I want to try talking this through with you.

673
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:05,440
Those are people who can maybe fit some pieces of your puzzle, but the whole picture and

674
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,860
all the shapes, they're going to look different for each person.

675
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:14,360
It's like finding what it is for you.

676
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,340
I think maybe hearing that, you might think like, okay, what is it for me?

677
00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,720
You don't have to know it right away either.

678
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:24,840
These things slowly, slowly, slowly unfold and become clearer as time goes on.

679
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,760
And that's something that I've really learned a lot more lately.

680
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:34,760
It could be because I recently, you know, like I turned 25 a few months ago and my frontal

681
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,960
lobe is fully developed.

682
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:40,160
Maybe that's why I don't know, but I feel like now for the first time, I'm just starting

683
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:44,060
to realize after doing, you know, quote unquote, the work for a long time.

684
00:40:44,060 --> 00:40:51,720
And I know it's ongoing that like these things click into place oftentimes like without forcing

685
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:57,560
them, without needing to understand like even fully what's going on, just following the

686
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,960
feeling and following, oh, this made me feel a certain way.

687
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,080
This made me feel better.

688
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,400
This made my nervous system go haywire.

689
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,440
Like what's this is all reflection.

690
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:07,440
You're reflecting.

691
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,800
So every single thing's a trial and error.

692
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,960
And like I do think like journaling and reflecting on the befores and afters is how you actually

693
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,120
piece it.

694
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,120
It's not knowing first.

695
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:21,000
You're not going to just know and then it's going to happen.

696
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,600
It's all trial and error.

697
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:28,760
Like, oh, very interesting when I actually did that, that, you know, created this.

698
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,880
It's actually pausing enough to reflect, which I think is huge.

699
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:33,880
Yeah.

700
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:34,880
Yeah.

701
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,880
Yeah.

702
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:37,160
I think that's always been my thing of like, how do I know?

703
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,160
How do I know it's working?

704
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,160
How do I?

705
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,480
I think that's why this com this podcast is called uncomplicated because it's like, let's

706
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:43,480
uncomplicated.

707
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:47,400
So I'm glad we're talking about it in this way of, of it's about the trial and error.

708
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,000
It's about the experience.

709
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Absolutely.

710
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:56,480
And the attachment style thing blew my mind because now you've got me thinking about it.

711
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,680
And I'm like, Oh my gosh.

712
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,920
I just want some of your attachment.

713
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:01,920
You're okay.

714
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:02,920
Yeah.

715
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,960
I mean, yeah, sometimes it's, I used to be so attached.

716
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:07,960
Yeah.

717
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:12,640
I think that if you have attachment, it's going to ride a roller coaster.

718
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:13,640
Right.

719
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,760
Like I swung to the other, I'm never doing that again.

720
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,120
And swung to the other side of the pendulum.

721
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,120
Right.

722
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,720
And so, yeah, I mean, really, yeah, if you're listening, you know, your attachment style

723
00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:26,720
might be good to dive in and try to make those connections.

724
00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:27,720
Right.

725
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:29,360
That's an incredibly profound thing.

726
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:30,360
Yeah.

727
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:35,880
Well, yeah, your, your trauma is going to play into everything.

728
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:40,400
So that's, that was such a journey for me to like go through and actually like piece

729
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,920
together, like why I respond to certain things.

730
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:47,640
And like, yeah, I think reflect on, do you feel calmer when you're alone?

731
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,720
Do you feel calmer when you're with other people?

732
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:55,560
Like seeing the things that soothe you, like I share a lot on my TikTok page too, like

733
00:42:55,560 --> 00:43:00,540
meditation for me, like has to look a lot different because of my neurodivergence.

734
00:43:00,540 --> 00:43:04,280
So I think learning your sensory needs is a part of it too, to figure out what self

735
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:11,480
soothes you because yeah, there's some people do really good with like no sensation at all,

736
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:12,480
dropping in.

737
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:16,240
Some people might need to dance to calm themselves down.

738
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,240
Yes.

739
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:22,400
It's just, if you're not experimenting on anything besides like letting your thoughts

740
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,720
spiral, you're not probably going to be able to, you're never going to be able to think

741
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:32,960
your way into something that's going to like numb, uh, yeah, the actual sensations.

742
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,960
You're going to be meant to be growing.

743
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,640
And as you grow, you're going to have to face shadow places, like things that you don't

744
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,000
want to face.

745
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,800
And you're not going to just be able to solve it all in your head and then have complete

746
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,200
control and then walk through life and not feel anything.

747
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,480
You don't get to not feel anything.

748
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:48,480
I'm sorry.

749
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:49,480
Literally, literally.

750
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:58,280
And it is, and someday they're all the feelings are probably just going to hit.

751
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,120
They're gonna like put themselves in front of you anyway.

752
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:06,200
And that is when also, would you say that's also when, you know, like, uh, chronic, not

753
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:12,280
chronic illnesses, but like physical, um, ailments hit, like all of a sudden we're whacked with

754
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:17,880
something that is like debilitating or you have some experience that causes you to look

755
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:18,880
at it.

756
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:23,100
And that might be somebody's path too, because not everybody, you know, is so intrigued by

757
00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:27,760
this kind of thing and is so interested in their own emotions and wanting to do.

758
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,480
And sometimes they get, you know, smacked with it.

759
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,880
Like, I definitely, and we've all been through our roller coaster of that too, of, of having

760
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,560
those experiences, kind of like we talked about at the beginning of the episode where

761
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:43,600
you were like in that comfort zone, you had, you know, the friend group and everywhere

762
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:44,800
that it took you.

763
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:49,120
And then you were like, I need to look at this and like, that's how it goes.

764
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:54,200
And now, yeah, your, your point is so funny with the physical therapy thing.

765
00:44:54,200 --> 00:45:00,680
I can like tie that in because I, I swear it's beautiful.

766
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:05,760
If you're listening to this episode and you are even like on the journey of some reflection,

767
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:12,120
like you have no idea how many miles ahead you are for just giving a shit about this

768
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,120
stuff.

769
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,560
Like it's huge.

770
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:21,000
You don't get to go through this life and not, I mean, you can literally fight this,

771
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:30,040
but life will keep trying to get you to understand how to willingly like expand and leave, leave

772
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,040
comfort zones behind.

773
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,600
You are going to be taught it.

774
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:38,080
And I think your point is I see it all the time.

775
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:45,080
I work with the age range primarily probably about 50 to like 75.

776
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:51,760
I used to work a lot younger clientele, but now that's kind of my prime.

777
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,920
And so I'm dealing with our parents and grandparents.

778
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:54,920
Okay.

779
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:59,240
So I'll tell you, because we all know that they're not facing half of their shit and

780
00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:00,840
we're doing the work for them.

781
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:07,560
They, when they all of a sudden can't, they have, so yeah, you, you stop being able to

782
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:12,880
walk something happens, you know, you get an injury all of a sudden, your body pain

783
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:19,080
is so loud and you literally are faced with the lesson of my body is trying to tell me

784
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,080
something.

785
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,360
I can't run away from it.

786
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,400
I can't work my way around this.

787
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,880
I'm having to ask for help.

788
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:26,800
I'm having to practice receiving.

789
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,720
I'm having to actually state what's going on.

790
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:35,260
Like your body will eventually like the people that haven't faced their shit when I'm working

791
00:46:35,260 --> 00:46:41,040
with them in physical therapy, I am watching layers of themselves like unveil because they

792
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:48,800
have never practiced sitting in one bit of discomfort and they will try everything.

793
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:52,040
I have patients cuss me out, like get the fuck out of here.

794
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:56,880
Like, I'm not doing any of this, like, and I'll just hold space and sit there and be

795
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:01,760
like, I am here to help and you're not going to be able to get better if you don't work

796
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:02,760
with me.

797
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,440
Like this is actually happening to you.

798
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:11,520
And then watching the excuses from anger to then crying to then like you watch them become

799
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:17,320
like a little kid truly because it's they're terrified and in there they don't know how

800
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,520
to actually do anything with their fear.

801
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:23,560
They don't know how to do anything but shut down and push people out.

802
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:31,320
And all of a sudden I'm teaching them to peer into the pain, practice moving with the pain,

803
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,560
practice trusting that the pain is not going to eat you alive.

804
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:39,320
Every lesson of actual life comes around in some way.

805
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:46,040
If you don't face it in other ways, I really do feel like yeah, body injury is one and

806
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,040
like chronic illness.

807
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:53,480
I, oh my gosh, that's a whole other speech, but I think so many layers to learning how

808
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:59,600
to interact with our nervous system face discomfort is like tied into literally every single point

809
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:00,600
of this existence.

810
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,480
Like can nerd out about it for forever.

811
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,000
Oh my gosh, I want to nerd out with you about it forever.

812
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,280
I genuinely do this.

813
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:09,280
So interesting.

814
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:10,280
Yeah.

815
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,280
So interesting.

816
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:14,680
And you know, a thing that kept coming up in my mind was it's so vulnerable.

817
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:19,840
It's so vulnerable, especially for the folks who you work with, who have, you know, like

818
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,280
you said, never sat with that discomfort.

819
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:22,280
Yeah.

820
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,160
It's our parents and grandparents and generations of pain.

821
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:29,280
Like you think about how when we try to get them to reflect on one thing, like I'm sure

822
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,480
so many people have this in their family.

823
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,760
Like they don't want to do it and you think there's no help.

824
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,760
And then Jen comes up as their physical therapy.

825
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,760
Like, oh no, we're going to pay some shadows.

826
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:41,760
Here we go.

827
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:42,760
Like, let's go.

828
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:43,760
Oh yeah.

829
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:44,760
And thank goodness it's you.

830
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:45,760
You know what I mean?

831
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:50,160
Thank goodness it's you in the room and, and not somebody who's very, is this the right

832
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,160
word didactical?

833
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:52,160
Yeah.

834
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,160
Like very didactical about it.

835
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:57,280
Like it's only on paper and like your knee hurts because there's a tendon doing the

836
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:58,280
wrong thing.

837
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:03,000
Like, okay, we can acknowledge the physical and also let's, let's do this.

838
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:08,520
And it kind of, I, oh God, I, yeah, I could nerd out with you about it forever too.

839
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:09,520
Fully, fully could.

840
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:10,520
Fully could.

841
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:16,600
I mean, I don't think, I just don't think your life is going to keep teaching you, but

842
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:17,960
it is so beautiful.

843
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:23,840
What I can say is that the patients that I have gotten to work with that have done the

844
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:28,760
work, the way that they accept and hold space for what's happening.

845
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:33,240
And then the difference between like some patients like really literally appear like

846
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:35,520
they're about to be stomped on by like a shoe.

847
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,720
They're like a little aunt just scurrying like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

848
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:41,380
And like just terrified and you watch it.

849
00:49:41,380 --> 00:49:44,800
And then you see the ones that are like just dropped in.

850
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:48,080
And I obviously love to hear everyone's life story and dig in.

851
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:49,400
And it's just beautiful.

852
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:54,680
It's beautiful to see that this work matters on so many other levels because it's how

853
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:59,920
you show up in the world and in connection and all of the layers of that.

854
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:00,920
So yeah.

855
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,960
Oh, oh my gosh.

856
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:03,960
Yeah.

857
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,360
It's, this is interesting too.

858
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:13,240
I was driving the other day and I drove by a physical therapy place in my, you know,

859
00:50:13,240 --> 00:50:15,280
local that I had never seen before.

860
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:19,520
And I thought to myself, physical therapy might be a cool thing to like study.

861
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,520
So this is so interesting.

862
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:25,120
We're talking about this and you know, things pop up when you're willing to step out of

863
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,000
your comfort zone.

864
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,880
And it's, it's cool how it shows up for you in your profession, in your life, in your

865
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,720
life's work, in your passions in that sense.

866
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:41,280
And what I really appreciate about this conversation too, is that it was, it's so much about leaving

867
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:45,040
your comfort zone in terms of feeling, feeling your feelings.

868
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,320
And going inward.

869
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:51,300
Because I think a lot of the time, like when we think of leaving our comfort zone, we take

870
00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:57,800
it as taking a huge leap and doing a crazy thing or going on a big roller coaster or

871
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:02,680
moving to a new city, which I did recently and like did a whole episode reflecting on.

872
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:07,680
And while that totally is, yes, part of leaving your comfort zone, what follows you, no matter

873
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:13,480
what you do is that inner, is that feeling, is your body, your physical sensation.

874
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,760
So it's just, there's so many tools I feel like we can pull from, from this episode two

875
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:22,680
of that self-soothing, that understanding what's happening, why it's happening and why,

876
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,560
even though you feel like you're unsafe, you're actually safe.

877
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:28,600
You know, like, okay, this is just my body's trying to protect me.

878
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,760
My nervous system's trying to protect me, but I'm okay.

879
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,400
I can do this.

880
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,960
And then all of a sudden you get the spiritual side where all these people come in that are

881
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:39,960
just like beautiful.

882
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:40,960
There's so many.

883
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:41,960
That's my favorite part.

884
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:42,960
That's the best.

885
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:43,960
Yeah.

886
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,120
Cause you're actually like open to connection.

887
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:50,440
You realize like your huge block is just a resistance.

888
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:51,440
Like honestly.

889
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:52,440
Right.

890
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:53,440
Yeah.

891
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,680
There's so much to feel in this life.

892
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:56,840
Like why not feel it?

893
00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:00,640
Like there's so much to go into when I go into it.

894
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:06,960
I just, this work is so important and I think this conversation is going to really inspire

895
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,520
a lot of people to keep doing it, to keep going.

896
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:10,520
Keep going.

897
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:11,520
Yeah.

898
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:12,520
You got this, everybody.

899
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:13,520
I love this.

900
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:14,520
Absolutely.

901
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:15,520
Yeah.

902
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:16,520
All right.

903
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:23,720
I feel like this conversation came to a beautiful, beautiful blossom.

904
00:52:23,720 --> 00:52:24,720
Amazing.

905
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:25,720
All right.

906
00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:30,920
Well, is there anything you want to plug right now for the people listening?

907
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,680
Where can they find you?

908
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:33,680
Yeah.

909
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:36,160
Tell us anything that you want us to know.

910
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:37,160
Thanks.

911
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:38,680
I appreciate it.

912
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:39,680
Yeah.

913
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:44,080
I know my page on Instagram and Tik Tok is Sensible Wellness.

914
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:47,080
My website, sensiblewellness.com.

915
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:53,680
I do some private bodywork stuff, but I, yeah, astrology is a huge thing.

916
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:55,200
I offer astrology readings.

917
00:52:55,200 --> 00:53:02,160
My own personal podcast is Awaken Together that I co-host with Kat.

918
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,840
And yeah, I love to share all of the things.

919
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:13,360
So there's lots of different stuff up on the internet, on YouTube, on podcasts, everything,

920
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:14,880
just to share all these things.

921
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:16,600
So thanks for having me.

922
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,880
And how can we plug you too?

923
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,120
We're going to share this online as well.

924
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:23,120
Yeah.

925
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,120
Okay.

926
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,160
Go listen on Jen's Awaken Together episode two, and you're going to hear the same thing

927
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,840
twice, but do it if you're coming from Uncommon Kato.

928
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:30,840
Lots to reflect on.

929
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:31,840
So much.

930
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:32,840
Listen twice.

931
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:33,840
No.

932
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:34,840
Yeah.

933
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:35,840
Hi, Caitlin.

934
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,320
You can find me.

935
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,440
I'm called the Uncomplicated Podcast.

936
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:45,560
Uncomplicate is one word that's not in the dictionary, but I made it up for creative

937
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:49,440
purposes, uncomplicated, wherever you listen to your podcasts.

938
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:55,560
And then on Tik Tok, I'm Caitlin Burns, 444, C-A-I-T-L-Y-N.

939
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,600
And then on Instagram, I'm Caitlin A. Burns.

940
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:00,440
And you can find me there.

941
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:05,920
We're in a lot of cool, new, moving in fun, new directions.

942
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:12,120
I share mainly holistic wellness, mindset, confidence, and some lifestyle stuff too,

943
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:16,360
getting into recipes, kind of just everything.

944
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,360
And it's a good time.

945
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,360
So come join.

946
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,360
Yeah.

947
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,360
Thanks.

948
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,360
Awesome.

949
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,360
Thanks for a beautiful conversation.

950
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,360
Thank you.

951
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:24,360
I'm so glad that we got to do this.

952
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:30,320
So glad that we got to do this.