Hello, everyone. This is Kat and welcome to a new episode of the Awaken Together podcast.
Today I'm joined by a very special guest, one who is no stranger to the show. She is
my friend Jennifer Hoffman. Welcome, Jen.
Hi, Kat. I'm so excited to be back here with you.
So excited to have you back. Your episode with us, it was, I looked back, it was season
two, episode five. We recorded it back in March, 2022, and so much has happened between
then and now. Wow. You said March, 2022?
Yeah. March 3rd. Okay.
Wow. So like a year and a half ago.
Pretty much. Crazy. Yeah.
And your episode about the Akashic Records has been one of our fan favorites, one we
get the most questions about, and one that Jen Wilson and I personally love talking about
with our community the most. So thank you again, and thanks for coming back on.
I'm so honored and I'm so grateful that the work with the Akashic Records has touched
you too, as well as, you know, all those that listen and that want to partake in this work
that's just so beautiful to hear.
Yeah, totally. And when Jen and I were thinking about like this episode, which we're going
to call Birth as a Portal, we were thinking about who in our network could we talk about,
who we really respect, especially on the spiritual journey side of things and thinking about
like all the energetic shifts that become, that come with becoming a mother, all the
decisions that lead up to it. And you were the clear like, yes, we have to see if Jen
will do it. So thank you for being willing to share all of your stories and takeaways
with us in the community.
I'm so thrilled to be here and to be able to do it. So thank you both for thinking of
me. This is truly so exciting.
Oh, of course. Yeah. And I mean, we have to give a little shout out to your little man,
Lucas, who became, who made you into this mother that you are now. So how is Lucas doing?
How old is he in everything?
Oh, thank you. Lucas is doing so great. He's almost 10 months now, which is just so wild.
He was born December 29 last year in 2022. I was due on New Year's Eve, so we weren't
sure if he would become a 2022 baby or a 2023. And he was two days early, which is seems
to be more his speed. He seems to be cruising on the early side with things he loves to chat
and babble. He's in teething and has 16th now. He's exploring, really loving to clap.
He loves to crawl all over the floor and is starting to stand on his own by kneeling and
pulling himself up. He's just really a little adventurer trying to see and do all the things
right now.
Oh my gosh, so sweet. And he is just the cutest. He looks like such a smiley little guy.
Thank you. Yes, he is. He's generally a very happy and joyful baby, you know, unless if
he is teething and not feeling good or just tired.
The normal life things. Yes, don't we all, we all need that rest.
Oh yeah, of course. Gotta feel it all, right?
Yes. Yeah. Well, we're excited to get into the meat of things. We were finding that,
you know, along this ride, a lot of us, our listeners are kind of contemplating this decision
right now of like, do I have children? We have some friends who are pregnant who have
had children too. So I wanted to start off by asking you, have you always seen yourself
becoming a mom?
That's a great question. So I didn't always see myself as a mom. And for a long time,
I thought I didn't want children. I thought that it just felt too much. It felt overwhelming.
It felt like the world was a scary place. Why would I want to bring a child here? And
it felt like there were, I didn't know at the time, there was something called ancestral
patterning. I didn't realize the spiritual aspects of it, but I knew that I was carrying
in a way like ancestral codes, ancestral patterning that I did not want to pass on to children.
And I deeply felt that it wasn't meant for me because of those things. And I really
think it took being on the spiritual journey and evolving in my own way along this path
to really open myself up to this. And I will say it was very gradual. It didn't start until
probably around 2018 when I was in my late twenties. I was dating a guy at the time who
was 12 years older than me. And he had kids of his own already and he did not want more
kids. And I feel like that was a very physical situation that the universe presented to me
saying like, okay, here's a decision. Are you really good with not having kids? And I
felt a lot of inner turmoil with that. And while dating him, he ended up moving, I live
on the East Coast, he ended up moving to the West Coast to California. And with that split,
I like really felt that life wasn't meant for me. And I felt this tug on my heart. That
was the very beginnings of it. Yeah, it's so crazy. That's like a very tangible instance
of like, he was very much an activator for my path, like, nearing back to me, like what
almost like a crossroads for my soul, like, do you really want to go this way? And it
felt like it was a turning point for sure. It seems like it like what an impactful relationship
just to kind of force you to make those decisions and just have those thoughts for yourself,
like, is this what I want? Am I actually okay with this? And sounds like it brought a lot
of clarity to you, which is so great. Yes. And then moving into a more mystical way,
you know, this was even before my spiritual awakening, it was like a random day in probably
a wintery day, I was in target, I was walking. And you know how sometimes you just see something
and you know, you're drawn to it, you're like, I need that. I saw this random stuffed unicorn
that was in the target like kids bedding section. It was on sale for like $5. No idea logically
whatsoever why I needed this unicorn. I ended up buying it, keeping it for years. And then
after I had my spiritual awakening, I started connecting to the soul of a child while in
meditation. And I could feel then years later, that the energies of the unicorns are with
these children, these unborn souls that are waiting to come through.
Oh, my gosh.
It gives me chills. It's just like even then before I was aware consciously, in this deeper
way, my soul was guiding me to reach out to connect with the soul of a child in that way.
So it's just, it's so fascinating, these things come out, it seems like of nowhere,
but it's really the soul guiding you and the soul of the child.
Totally. And I mean, kudos to you for listening and putting that all together, right? Knowing
that it wasn't just like this disparate thing, but understanding that connection over time
too, I think is so powerful.
Yes. Yes. And then there was one other thing I'd love to mention. As I was deepening my
spiritual practice, one of the things that I did on my journey was I attended a Dr. Joe
Dispenza event. Maybe some listeners have heard of his work. He teaches a certain type
of meditation style. And while I was at the event, it was July of 2021.
While I was there in a meditation, I connected with one of my grandmothers who is deceased.
And she gave me the message, I'm so excited for grandbabies. That just felt like the nail
on the coffin in a sense. It was just like, I knew it wasn't me. I never used the word
grandbabies. That's definitely something my grandmother would say. And wouldn't you know,
less than like around seven months later, I was pregnant.
Wow. Oh my goodness. That is wild.
Yeah. Yeah. It's just so amazing how the divine and our souls work.
And how beautiful to know even now that she knew this was going to happen and that she
has this connection, I'm sure, with Lucas and just seeing this all happen and unfold
in your life right now. Yes. Yes. It's so beautiful to know that.
Truly. And you had mentioned when we were talking before about connecting with this
child soul through the records and how you actually chose to have the support of somebody
else to do this. Can you share more about that?
Yes. So I would connect to Lucas while he was in the womb on my own and I would do this
in different ways. But one of the most prominent ways that I would choose to do it was usually
in the bath. That just felt the most aligned for him and I. Yet there's just something
about with using the records and how potent and powerful there are.
A lot of times I really appreciate utilizing someone else, not for outsourcing my answers
or looking externally for what to do. Yet it's just for providing deeper clarity. I
think as a human, my emotions can get in the way sometimes for being a clear channel when
I'm accessing the records myself. So it's beautiful to have that other resource to utilize
for that. And the teacher that I learned the Akashic records from, I reached out to her
and actually booked a session with her to connect with Lucas in a deeper way. And she
gave me some practices. She gave me some tools and some deeper insight into how to support
him in an energetic way in looking at how I'm showing up for him in ways that we could
just deepen our connection. And that was just so nourishing for us while I was in that space.
Lucas was here. He was in my body, yet he wasn't physically fully here in the physical
form. He was cooking, so to speak. Right. Still inside. That's so cool. And I'm so glad
you had that as a resource. And it makes sense. I mean, when you're pregnant and all your
hormones are just like having a party and we're in a heightened emotional state, I think
that's so great that you were like, acknowledged that and sought just some outside expertise
by someone that you know and trust already. So good to hear that she was able to give
you those tools. And it sounds like it was really magical to be able to connect with
him in all those ways. It was. It was, you know, just as always, there's there's like
mystical magical things that will present, but then there's also very tangible things.
And it's just, it's just so so beautiful to be able to connect in that way. And question
on that, when you were connecting with his soul when he was still inside of you cooking,
now that you know him so well, like post birth, he's been with you for almost a year now.
How, how is that connection? Was it very similar in feeling? Has it changed? I'm just curious
about that.
In some ways it's similar and in other ways it's very different. So when I would just
connect to him on a soul level purely, it was hard to create his gender, I'll be honest
at first, because I think the souls of children, they just feel so pure and so loving that
they almost feel feminine in nature. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
So it's just everything felt so like, like the essence of the unicorn is like pure and
magical and so high vibration and loving and almost feminine and beautiful and light
in general. And now that he's here in the physical, you know, almost like that essence
is still there. Yet there's like more depth and multifaceted aspects to his nature. There's
some things that are like, for lack of a better word, more dense because he's in human environments,
like there's the whole range of emotions and energy that he presents. And yeah, it's just,
you know, when he's upset, he lets us know and he'll scream about it until I find what's
wrong. And some other things they translate over pretty well too, like I could sense between
my own connection with him and working with my mentor with the records, that he was very
connected to like foliage and plants and nature. And that is so prominent now still. That is
very like he loves being outside, he loves being around trees, he loves being in the
grass, being in the dirt. So certain things like that translated to very well. It's funny
to watch. Yeah, that's super cool to think about, I think, just that transition and getting
to know him as a little person. So, so cool. Yes. And I'm sure like while you were pregnant,
there were so many lessons that you learned and experienced. But do you mind sharing some
of those? Yes. So, oh, there were so many, I'm sure, like looking back and reflecting.
I think one of the biggest things that is unique, watching my body change, my, my relationship
with my body and how I witnessed and watched it changing was not how I expected. I, you
know, think, you know, with our culture, you know, magazines, there's such a, a pull and
such an emphasis on body image and how we look and how thinner used to be better and
all that stuff. And I didn't feel bad or guilty seeing my body grow. First, I felt a little
uncomfortable, but I think that's because I just looked bloated. I didn't look pregnant.
I was loving them. Yeah. But it was just so neat to witness my body taking form. And
then I think what even emphasized that was watching and feeling him move within me. Like,
you know, I very much knew this was my body being the blessing and the beautiful vessel
that it could be to nourish and nourish him and keep him alive. I think knowing that was
and reminding myself of that was huge. And on the flip side, what has been interesting
is now watching my body postpartum. Because I felt like I had such an useful relationship
with my body during pregnancy, I kind of expected that same thing postpartum. And I didn't feel
that way. I felt kind of like, Oh, my body's taking a really long time to shift now. It's,
it looks really different. And I felt very uncomfortable in my body for many months,
I would say, like I still have some discomfort, but I'm, I would say it took at least six
to eight months for me to start to feel more like myself. And I didn't expect that. Because
I think, you know, unless if you know someone personally, we don't hear the ins and the outs
and you kind of expect like, Oh, you expel the baby, you expel the placenta. Now it's
just me again. But it's like, it took those nine months to build those things. And I think
it takes the body at least nine months, if not more to help guide itself back. And then
there's still that energetic connection between the baby and the mother for at least a year,
I would say even more going into toddlerhood. So it's like, my body didn't even feel like
mine, which was super interesting. Like that took me a really long time to feel okay with
that. It was like, it felt, it felt like it was more of a support system for Lucas. It's
hard to put into words, honestly, until you experience it, it's sort of surreal. It just,
it didn't, it's nothing like I've ever experienced before. It was my body wasn't just my body,
it was his really.
Yeah. And I just have constant chills over here, like hearing every word. And I have
some friends out here who are new moms as well. And they've actually shared like pretty
similar sentiments to you. And that whole of the body being this vessel and support
and the whole like nine months in nine months out, like the baby doesn't fully recognize
it's even separate from your body from what I've heard for at least nine months, like
postpartum, they still think of it as like their home. And so it is just incredible,
like, wow, what a miracle our bodies are and just the fact that they can create and sustain
life for so long. It's no wonder, I mean, all the shifts and I mean, all the work that
I know you've done in your life to develop your sense of like body love and feeling that
almost regression post birth, but also that beautiful remembrance of what your body just
did and what it continues to do for you and your baby.
Yes, that's such a beautiful summary of that. And it's so interesting how you mentioned
that in that way, because I heard a psychotherapist talk about this, how the baby doesn't recognize
a difference between themselves and their mother. And that's why babies tend to say
dad first, because dad is the first person that they recognize is somebody outside of
themselves. Oh my gosh.
Yes, they're considering like them and their mother to be the same unit. So then it's like
later, once they start recognizing more is outside of themselves and they recognize,
oh, mom is different than me. That's mama.
Oh, I could cry. That is so beautiful.
Yeah, isn't that wild? It's so neat.
It really is. I mean, it makes sense too. It's like, this body created me. It's like,
I am this body, right? Oh, wow. So cool.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I know like the lessons must be abound.
Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
There was one other one. Can I share that?
Please do. Yes.
Yes. So something that I did not expect being, because I've never heard anyone talk about
this, but when my spiritual journey, I didn't realize this is interesting to say this, but
it's just, I think a lot of times we are on our journey and we have our own perspective
and that's our normal. So we don't see otherwise. And I was very connected to my upper chakras
being able to do this work with the Akashic and connecting to over souls and how I see
clear, buoyantly and different things like this. And then when I got pregnant, a lot
of that shifted and some of it stopped. And at first I thought something was very wrong.
And upon reflection and speaking to some people and just tuning into my body, I realized,
oh, my intuition didn't leave. It just shifted. And everything was focused on my lower chakras
like my root chakra, my, my sacred, my solar plexus, everything was going into that area
of my body and feeling and supporting the baby. So that was really interesting to witness
and feel and experience. And now postpartum, I'm kind of, I'm experiencing a shift back
where I'm definitely in tune with my upper chakras more so again and feeling there more
deeply and everything feels more, I would say aligned and in flow and more consistent
between all my chakras. That's incredible. I mean, just to show like the shift from
before, during and after and what sounds like a true opening has occurred for you throughout
this whole shift of becoming a mother. And I think it makes so much sense because our
our sacred chakra, that's the space of creation. That's the womb space. And so much during
pregnancy from what I've heard and from what I understand is relating to the root as well
and your sense of your foundation, your nesting, your safety, security, being able to provide
the basic needs for not only you, but this new soul that you're bringing into the world.
And then also with your solar plexus, like the middle of the body, this is a space of
ego and confidence and your sense of self. So I mean, just thinking about that, it totally
makes sense. Plus the additional blood flow and work that your body is doing in those
spaces, a true opening and flow that just sounds so incredible that you're still feeling
that kind of bounce between the top and the middle and the bottom even after birth.
Yeah, it's so fascinating. I'm sure it shows up for people differently yet. I think just
hearing my experience with how I felt that I hope that can maybe provide some clarity
in putting to words maybe what some people are experiencing because sometimes we might
be experiencing it yet we don't we can't find the words to really describe what we're feeling.
Yeah, the words are always hard for me. Yeah, I'm always up in my head all the thoughts
come and go so fast that sometimes the words are just secondary. I wish I could just transfer
thoughts to people. Yes, you said the words so beautifully. So thank you for sharing that.
I relate so I'm glad I'm glad we can talk about it and appreciate it. Thank you.
Oh man, fellow upper chakra liver right over here. Yes. Yeah. And you actually I love this
you opted for a non traditional delivery. And this is something that I've thought a
lot about myself, like in the realms of home birth and having a doula, and just thinking
about what we truly want and need from this experience outside of what is really common
with society of a traditional hospital birth. So I love it if you could share more about
how you made that decision and how it all felt for you.
Yes. So, well I'll start off by saying everyone in my family and everyone that I know has
given birth in a hospital setting. So that's all I knew previously and that's, I think,
always when I envisioned a birth that's what I kind of expected. And social media opened
my eyes to seeing other alternatives of what's out there. And so it's good for something.
Yes, it's not bad. It's definitely opened my eyes. And I think what I first started
looking for was a birthing center because I was interested in looking for something
that would be not so like cold and medicinal feeling. There's nothing wrong with the hospital.
Of course, I think everyone knows what works for them and what kind of birth experience
they want. But personally, I wanted something that was like more relaxed and more comfortable.
And there were no birthing centers around me where I live in Pennsylvania. It's more
rural and it's more kind of like Western medicine focused and that's all that was available.
So what I did find was a midwife who worked with doulas and she had her own practice and
she offered home birthing services. And I will tell you, I did feel a little fear around
it at first that I had to work through. I think naturally the human mind, the ego wants
to go to what's your base thoughts of like, well, what if this, what if this goes wrongs,
what if that. And I had to really go with my gut instincts and what my heart was pulling
me to do. And this just felt the most aligned. It felt like not just for me, but for what
Lucas wanted for being brought into the world. It felt like something more nourishing and
comfortable was most aligned as well as after doing research, I chose that I wanted to go
down the path of using a birth style that is like least invasive, the least invasive
and the most natural as possible. So ideally, I didn't want to use an epidural. I didn't
want to use certain tools like forceps. Nothing wrong with that, of course. It's just after
doing some research and just feeling with what intuitively felt most aligned for me
and for us. That's what felt right. And I think what supported me the most with moving
through the years was I thought about like all the ancestors that came before us in this
current time and how like they didn't have hospitals and like they had to give birth
at home. That's just what they did. And like my grandmother that I mentioned earlier that
came to me in meditation, she was one of 15 children, her mother gave birth to 15 kids.
And they were all birthed at home. And you know, to them, it was normal. Like my grandma
used to say like we would wake up one morning and there'd be another sibling. They were
just there. And that was normal. Like they wouldn't even wish she was pregnant sometimes.
Yeah. Like it was just, it would just happen. And it's like this is natural for the woman's
body. This is natural to, you know, to expand, to hold creation, to give birth. It's not
some medical condition. It's not abnormal. You know, unless of course there's like a
medical emergency or something is abnormal with the health of the baby or the mother,
which my pregnancy was a healthy, healthy and normal pregnancy. So I didn't, I think
pulling on that ancestral wisdom and that ancestral support is what really helped home
my nerves and ease my fears. Also, my midwife was amazing. I would recommend her to anybody.
She not only had extensive training in nutrition and traditional Chinese medicine. She has
10 children herself. So she has like very personal hands-on experience. She has had
her practice for years. She would be monitoring things. Like I think sometimes people think
like when you have a home birth or like willy nilly, like just going off and not having
anything medically checked. Like that's not the case at all. Like I still had optrosounds.
I still had blood sugar tests to make sure that I didn't have, oh my gosh, I'm blanking
on the term, but like high blood sugar while pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. So like I was still,
I was still like doing all of the things. It was just, it was less invasive. Like she
would not do internal exams. It was more trusting, you know, the body's natural processes and
the body knows what it needs to do with monitoring those things with, you know, doing blood work
with checking my heart rate, checking my oxygen levels, different things of that nature.
The beautiful combination, I think, to have like the modern day tools of ultrasounds and
testing that they didn't have back then just for like peace of mind and also understanding
like using our resources, right? But also knowing that you have this deep spiritual connection
with yourself and your body that you've built over time where you're constantly checking
in with yourself too. And that feeling of trust that you shared with your midwife. Like
that is, that's huge. So yay for the combination. I love that we have, that we live in this
day and age and we have all these tools and resources available to us.
Yes. And I will say, you know, going this route, you will appreciate this being a fellow
graduate from IIN. Like you have an understanding of nutrition and holistic health like I do.
But like I don't know if a home birth would be for everyone because a lot of it is based
on nutrition. Like what we eat is not only fueling ourselves, but it's it's becoming
the baby. So, you know, I'm not, I wasn't really using modern medicine to aid in supporting
my health because I was using the nourishment of food and I was also using herbs and things
of a more natural nature, which I felt really good about because the midwife, you know,
I wasn't like going out and herbs can be like a weird topic for people, especially when
pregnant because they're not like FDA regulated, but like my midwife has that knowledge through
TCM and through practice with all of her clients, all of her experience with her own birth.
And she would know what herbs I could take, what herbs are good to support in different
ways. And it was just so beautiful. I felt so held and so nourished with the herbs that
I talk and the food that I ate.
That's beautiful. Yeah. One of my best friends who was on an earlier episode of the podcast,
Courtney, she is an herbalist and she's going to school to become a doula. And so I'm really
hopeful that by the time like, Kyla and I are ready for children that she is ready to
rock with all that because I want a very similar experience to what you've had ideally, you
know, given it's a healthy pregnancy and everything and just to know like the people
in our network and have that sense of trust, like that's everything.
Yes. And there were a couple other things I wanted to mention about this. I'm trying
to go to the depths of my brain and find them.
But I think the thing that's coming to mind right now is another reason why I chose this
method was that one of my core values is freedom. And a lot of times in a hospital setting for
hospitals, there's certain restrictions or there's certain policies that they try to
enforce that they're not actually like required. So it's like, if you do research, you can
actually choose what you want based on what your needs and choose because it feels good
to you. Like a is like usually in a hospital birth setting, all babies in a hospital are
given a antibacterial eye cream right after birth. And my midwife explained this to me
as they typically give that in case if the mother has an STD, when the baby goes through
the birth canal, they give them the antibacterial eye cream so the baby doesn't develop an eye
infection. So it's to protect an eye infection forming if a mother has an STD. Hospitals aren't
necessarily checking the moms. So to just do due diligence on their part, they're just
giving it to every baby.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah. So like me, like I have, I knew I didn't have an STD. I had blood work done at the
beginning of my, my pregnancy and I just, I knew I didn't. So it's like, I don't need
to give my baby a antibacterial medication right after he's born in those first critical
hours or moments. Because, you know, like as like looking at it from a holistic, on larger
picture perspective, we know antibacterial medications can affect the gut microbiome,
which affects immunity and, and how your body's ability to fight infections do all sorts of
stuff.
So I've actually heard that if possible, it's best not to even bathe the baby for at least
seven days a week after giving birth because of all of the flora from the whole birthing
process and how helpful that is to the baby's gut and how it's all absorbed through the
skin. So that is just another reason like why something antibacterial would do the opposite
of that.
And I wonder how long term that can cause potential damage to our eyes, you know, in
that first moment here, having something like that put on your eyes, that just seems logically
like maybe not the best idea if you don't have an STD and don't need it.
Right. Exactly. So like that, what you just gave an example of that's another.
Great point. Like the, the waxy coating that's typically on babies when they're born, that
is actually like a protectant that the body naturally produces and it, if the baby isn't
washed, it gets absorbed their skin and it greatly helps their immune system in those
first critical days of life in a hospital birth. Typically they'll take the baby and
they'll bathe it right away unless if you request like, Hey, I don't want you to bathe
my baby and I want to hold my baby now for the golden hour for however long, considering
you have a healthy birth.
You know, I think most places will respect that and you can even put it in writing so
that they see it because you know, there are emergency cases where, you know, maybe the
mother isn't coherent because they're under anesthesia or they are a little altered consciously
because of receiving the epidural or whatever. And that's the other thing. I've heard stories
where babies are kind of just taken and things are done without the mother's consent or letting
the parents know like, Hey, this is what we're doing just because it's quote unquote hospital
policy. But I believe in the freedom to be able to choose what happens to our own bodies
and the bodies of our children.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I hear you, sister.
Yes. Yeah, this is so important and not a lot of people talk about it. So I'm really
glad that where you're sharing all this knowledge, it's so useful.
Yes. And I'll just say one other thing quick about a home birth, like one of the things
that I was fearful of was the cost, because I think it's so ingrained in our culture that
things cost less when we have insurance and things are covered by insurance. And I will
say that a home birth costs less than I've heard some hospitals costs or some births
costing in hospitals with insurance.
Wow, that's so good to know. I had no idea.
Yeah, I mean, of course, it depends on personal circumstances and location, like, you know,
a baby that is born with a serious condition that must go in the NICU with care over like
a month. Of course, those hospital bills are going to cost way more than like a healthy
baby birth with a typical like one or two days stay.
But like I've heard, you know, you can do research for your own area that and your insurance
and what you have. But I've heard, you know, sometimes healthy normal deliveries can cost,
you know, up to 10 to 15,000 depending on your area, whereas like that's with insurance,
depending upon the hospital and the location, but mine was half of that or less.
Wow. I mean, lots of great, great examples here as to what people should like just think
about it, right? Like think about what feels best for you. And if you are open to something
other than a hospital birth or, you know, maybe even having that as like a plan B backup
in some ways, like, there's lots of benefits to this alternative route when you really
think about it and look it up.
Yes. And that's the thing like, you know, I had an emergency plan. If something would
have gone wrong, my midwife would have transferred me to a hospital and she would have stayed
with me and the doula and they would have been there advocating for me. But, you know,
I just hope this empowers people to know that like, you have options. And even if you don't
want to give birth at home, you know, a birthing center is a good option to or you can go to
a hospital and you can have written and writing like, this is what I consent to have and this
is what I do not want. So that's like, if you don't want your baby to be washed in the
first hour of birth, that they have to respect that, you know, you can just because it's
hospital policy quote unquote, doesn't make it law.
Heck yeah. That's beautiful. I think there's also just a lot of shame. I've shared this
with some friends even who are very open minded people. And I've received shame for wanting
to look into a home birth because of that whole notion of like, well, we have hospital
birth now and the mortality rate for women and babies has gone down so drastically ever
since we started giving birth in hospitals. And I kind of detest that, you know, it's
like, why wouldn't you want to give your baby the best shot, like do it in a hospital? Aren't
you crazy? Like, like, no, like, guys, do your research here. I follow free birth society.
Do you know that one, Jen? I actually don't. But I feel like that sounds amazing. Yeah.
Yeah. It's one that yoga girl on Instagram, she shared and was adamant about like learning
all their resources and how it changed her birth experience because the first one was
very like abusive and like toxic. They just hospital, her needs weren't met. It was an
emergency. She tried to go for a home birth and then ended up having to go to the hospital
because like her doula wasn't well prepped. And the baby's heart rate was skyrocketing
and, and all these things that kind of led to it. And then once getting there, she was
kind of just forced into a C section, even though she didn't want to have it, like the
doctors didn't look into alternatives. And so this time with her second, she did all
the research and had all the plans in place. And it was a healthy birth and a healthy pregnancy.
And it all just like what it was very healing, essentially is what she shared to have things
go her way. But also knowing that it was just because of the research she had done, like
there was the babies, the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck and we are that in,
in, you know, hospital births and any occurrence where that happens. It's like one of the worst
things that can happen and it can be so detrimental if you don't get that fixed right away when
actually it's actually very common for the cord to be around the baby's neck. And if
you simply know how to act and respond in that moment, you just take it away. You don't
cut the cord before, because that would cut off the oxygen. But before cutting the cord
when the baby's still attached, the baby is not breathing through the outside world. And
so it's actually okay, you know, so many pieces that I've been doing my due diligence, I feel
to learn and to educate myself because it shouldn't be a shameful decision, you know,
if you're yeah,
Yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah,
That's amazing. You really are doing your due diligence because it's so true, like even
like turning the baby, you hear of so many C sections because the baby's like breach
or they're they're not in the right direction. And it's like, there's something called spinning
babies where you can do exercises at home or like even inactive labor, like there's
certain things like sifting and different practices that midwife can do to help to turn
the baby, you can lay certain ways, you can do certain things. And there's even babies
who are born breach naturally in home births like that's, you know, like what do you think
they did years ago, it happens. So that's amazing that you're, you're looking into all
of that. And yeah, like there's another resource that I used called Hypno babies, which was
a course I took online to learn self hypnosis for labor, which that that doesn't have to
be for home births, it can be for any kind of birth. And they actually gave a ton of
information in order to empower you for having birth in the way that you want, whether you're
in a hospital, you're at home, you're in a birthing center, and they give you tools for
like, here's what are different, you know, standard normal practices. This is how you
can decline it if you want, you can write a letter in this way, you can give this to
the nurses like, you actually have the freedom to go call a hospital and ask for a tour of
their labor and delivery unit so that you can actually almost like, interview in a sense
where you want to give birth and go see it before you're like in the heat of the moment.
Like, you know, how empowering is that? Like I've never heard anyone else talk about that.
Like we can go ask them questions, we can go see it, we can go figure out what works
best for us in our family. We don't, we're not at the whims of just the hospital that's
closest to us.
Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's incredible. And what a great tool. I'm so happy that a course
like that exists and its sole purpose is to empower and educate people as they're gearing
up for this incredibly important life decision of bringing a baby into the world. So all
the resources.
Yes, I definitely recommend it and they have a good sale on Black Friday weekend if anyone's
looking.
If no baby, got it. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Oh, so good. And so now kind of thinking about post birth, how has becoming a mom changed
you?
I think in so many ways I'm the same, but in so many ways I'm different. I think one
of the biggest teachings I've had has been around surrendering that what I want isn't
always going to happen because it's not what's for the highest good of Lucas or it's not
what he desires or it's not what's for the best for our whole family as a family unit.
And I was shown this multiple ways, but some of the ways they're sticking out to me are
while giving birth. I had this vision. I was planning for this home birth. I was successful
with the home birth, but in my vision I was seeing myself doing a water birth. So we had
this inflatable pool that I rented while I was in active labor. Eloy blew it up. Eloy
is my partner for those who don't know. He had it set up. The pool was filled and when
I was in the heat of active labor, nothing sounded good. A lot of people say, oh, you
can get in the shower in labor. The water is soothing. Let it run down your back. Getting
in the water is great. It sounded horrible. The thought of it made me cringe. My body
was rejecting it. Full force. The only thing that felt good was standing or kneeling and
rocking. Side to side. Hip swaying, basically. I tried to lay down, even what you see in
a normal hospital setting and my body rejected that completely. I got physically ill. My
dinner came up. So your body knows what it needs. And I will say, going just back to
my labor, it was pretty intense. Lucas, my water broke at 2 a.m. and then I was in pretty
intensive active labor until he was born at 7.30 a.m. And I remember just speaking to
him and saying, okay, if it's going to be this intense, I can't take this for long.
We need to get through this together. We need to get through it quickly. And a five and
a half hour active labor from water breaking to birth is very quick for a first time labor
or first time mother. And what's interesting is my midwife told me that Lucas had a shorter
and umbilical cord. And when the umbilical cords are shorter like that, you feel the
contractions stronger, more strong, stronger than if they're longer. And they're intense,
not just for the mother, but for the baby, too. And so they come quicker and they come
faster. And that's why the delivery happened so quickly.
Interesting.
It's just fascinating. And so that was a lesson in surrendering in that, like Lucas, I definitely
know that was him. He's definitely an earth and a fire energy baby. It's not like water.
The first couple of months of his life, he screamed the whole time he'd be taking a bath.
And he did not want to come into this world physically in water. He wanted to be, you
know, be not in that for sure. He wanted to be dry.
He knew.
Yes. And so I had to honor that and do what my body was telling me. And he continued in
that trajectory, even, you know, feeding. I had a very, I really, really wanted to nourish
him through nursing that just felt most aligned for me and how I wanted to feed him. Nothing
wrong with how someone chooses to feed their baby or how they have to feed their baby.
I think as long as a baby's being fed, that's what matters. But for me personally, I really
wanted to nurse and he was born with a, a lip and a tongue tie and he had trouble latching.
And it was extremely painful for me. And I had to resort to pumping, which was super
time consuming for me. And it was very hard. And it was just a serious lesson in letting
go and surrender, surrendering, because we ended up moving to formula. After a few months,
it was the best choice for our family. And that was probably one of the hardest things
I've ever had to do. Just because I had to release that strong vision and, and just trust
that even though I wasn't giving my baby the nourishment and how I wanted to give him and
how I felt would be the best for him, trusting that, you know, he's still getting the nourishment
he needs and that he is thriving regardless.
Right. Yeah. Just, we can have this plan, right? And the whole experience that kind
of forces you to surrender in a way, right?
Yes.
Completely.
What a teaching. I mean, that is huge. I think we all like to some extent have control issues
in terms of outcomes and like knowing what we want really strongly and like our ego is
like, this is it. This is me. This is my way. But when push comes to shove, we have to react
in the way that the baby needs and in that you need in that present given moment without
being able to actually see into the future, right? Just having to respond and let it be
what it is.
Yes. And speaking of that, if I could give any tip to any mom to be, I would say like
there's so much emphasis on preparing for the birth, like equally, if not more, prepare
for postpartum. That is so important and not even just the first week or the first month,
but I'm talking like months because it's such a radical shift for your life.
Not just surface level. It's like everything changes. And as a new mom, you're solely taking
care of those babies, the baby's needs and they're the basic needs like the feeding,
the bathing, the changing, the diaper, the sleeping, like, and the mom needs those needs
met too so that she can keep showing up for the baby. Kind of going back to what you were
saying earlier about the root chakra with like ensuring there's that sense of safety
and security and that strong foundation. That's really what it's all about as a new mom postpartum.
I would say for even the first 18 months, probably definitely for the whole 10 months
I've had Lucas, there's been this deep teaching of calming my own nervous system and creating
a strong foundation within me so that I am a strong foundation and a calming force for Lucas
because they can't regulate themselves yet they're totally reliant on their mom.
Right, right. I think that's such a good point and makes me think about like our generation and
what an advantage we do have with all this information about the nervous system and self-care
and ways to honor our needs. So it makes me really hopeful that maybe moms coming about
and in our generation will be able to really prioritize that self-care that everyone's
deserving of in those crucial times. Yes, completely. How about your spiritual practices? I'm sure
like with less time for yourself, there might be a shift there. So what does that look like for you now?
Yeah, I would say that has shifted a lot in that I used to carve out time for myself very
consistently in doing meditations like either before bed or journaling certain times, doing certain
rituals depending upon the season or the moon cycle and whatnot. And as a new mom, especially in
those first or months when you're pending to a baby 24 seven exceptionally, like even throughout
the night, it just there became no routine because my routine was Lucas. So like my spiritual
practice became more of a living, breathing, intertwining and weaving throughout my daily
life. Not that I didn't before, but it's just I rely on that even more so now. So it's like,
if I have to go to an appointment or run an errand, it's like I'm almost doing like a meditation as
I'm driving or I'm connecting to spirit guides as I'm driving or I'm going through like shadow work
in my head as I'm driving, you know, like I might not have time to journal for 30 minutes, but I can
do that while I'm on a walk and I'm pushing him in the stroll or as I'm, you know, in the shower,
something like that, you know. Yeah, I think that's really practical. That's a really practical tip
right there. It's like still create carving out that space for yourself during everyday
activities that you can't avoid, right? Like doing the things like the appointments, the driving,
the showers, just taking that extra mindful pause for yourself to dive into all these different
aspects and keep it present and knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect, right? We don't have to
be sitting perfectly still, silent in meditation to reap the same benefits as you would while doing
these other things that are so necessary to really have so many hours in a day, right? Yes,
exactly. And I would say like walking for me has been like my, my like sweet spot for that,
because I'm lucky. I don't want to say I'm lucky, but you know, all babies are different and Lucas
loves to be in his stroller and in his car seat. So he'll nap there. So like if I know what snap
time I'll put him in that stroller and we'll go for like an hour walk. So it's like I'm getting that
time in nature. I'm getting that time to connect to spirit. I'm getting that time while I'm, it's
like I'm multitasking in a sense. And also at the same time, I'm now at a point 10 months postpartum
where Lucas is a little more regulated. So I am starting to carve out more time where like,
Sunday, I might go to a yoga class and Lucas will be with my mom or he'll be with Eloy. I am
starting to like stretch away and, and create little buckets of time for myself. But a lot of the
times I am very much with Lucas. That's huge. That's huge. It's a really good point. It's like
this period doesn't last forever. Yes. In the scheme, like it is a very short time frame. And I
think people kind of just equate having children to not having time for yourself at all anymore,
like that just goes away. But I kind of detest that too. And I love that you're starting to feel
like you're able and ready to like part for a yoga class, you know, something like that. I
think that's really beautiful. Yes. Yes, you put it so eloquently. Thanks. And thinking about like,
like staying on this spiritual journey topic, the spiritual practices, what are some of the
energetic ways of shaping the child even before their arrival that you experimented with and
experienced? Yes, I love this question. So I believe the soul really has certain,
certain things that it wants to embody that it wants to create an experience when it's choosing
to connect with its parents and to come into the physical form as a child on earth. And at the same
time, us as parents, we can help shape the energy of our child in a certain way. And that way is
the name that we choose to give them. I know that sounds so simple, yet it is so deeply profound.
I think that's one of the only ways, if not the only way, that we can help shape them energetically.
It's like an energetic imprint into the child and how they will show up into the world. And
you might think like, well, how does the name like, how does that really impact them? Well,
every name has a meaning. Every name like is derived from somewhere. So like, for instance,
my name Jennifer means white wave or pure. Yeah, Lucas, his name means his relates to light,
and pure light, loving light, something like that. And what's interesting is I mentioned earlier that
he loves nature and he loves trees. Well, his last name means foliage. Wow, what is his last name?
His last name's Ojeda. And it's Spanish. It means foliage, like literally like leaves.
So it really shows up in how the child, like what they desire, what they're drawn to,
his initial spell Leo, L-E-O. And we did that very deliberately because we have a cat named Leo,
and we thought that was a sweet nod to him. But we also wanted to do that because my mother's maiden
name was Leonard, which starts with L-E-O. And it's so funny because my mom sees aspects of her
father in Lucas, who like the Leonard name would have come from. And my grandfather was an Ares
son, and Lucas has an Ares moon. Oh, that's incredible. So it's like astrologically that
energy, not only it doesn't just pull from the name, it connects astrologically then too. He has
that fiery spirit. And he is a Capricorn sun and a Capricorn rising. So he has a ton of Capricorn
in his chart, which is a lot of earth energy, a lot of masculine. So it's like, it's very interesting
how the foliage, the Leonard, it's all pulling together and so interconnected into what he's
drawn to and his personality and spirit. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh my gosh, I love,
and I'm not surprised at all at the levels of intentionality that went into creating and deciding
on his name. And how about like Lucas, his first name, how did you land on that?
Yes. So that was a group effort for sure with his dad. We were going through names and
Eloy feels that his name is pretty unique. And I think he appreciates names that are more,
I don't want to say general, but they're a little more common, I guess. Yeah. And he likes that
with a name like Lucas, you can have a nickname like Luke. So you have options. Like I think he
felt a little stuck with just having his name without like a nickname. So we both were drawn
to Lucas. Like I think he liked it for those reasons that we could call him Luke. We also call
him Lukey for now anyway. Yeah. I just really liked that name. I was, of course, I was the one
looking at the meanings of the name. So I think Lucas means bringer of light. And I was like,
yes, I resonate that with that so deeply. And I personally resonate a lot with Christ energy
and Christ consciousness and just I felt that Christ connection with the name Lucas as well,
that I really liked pulling in for him. Incredible. Thanks for sharing that. I feel like I have such
a good understanding of him and his little soul and his energy now. The whole story of naming him
and just his connection with the trees and foliage and all the sweetie pie. Yeah, it's so funny. And
like, you know, the name Leo, I feel like you think of lions, you know, and like with our cat,
Leo. And it's so true. Like I feel that fiery energy with the Aries, but he's also drawn to
lions and I feel a lot of sun energy. So it's just, it's so interconnected and multifaceted.
It's just so wild and beautiful. Totally. And hey, I have a Capricorn moon and Aries rising. So
I feel like I know Lucas on a deep level too, just with some of those elements and forces
astrologically in our charts. Oh, amazing. You're going to have to meet him. Oh my gosh, can't wait.
Yes. Yeah. Well, thinking about just like this time of life and where a lot of our listeners
may or may not be on their path. Are there any tips that you can offer for those deciding if
they want to have children, if they, if they don't, and how to know if you're ready?
I think this is such a multifaceted question. I think part of this, like going, reflecting on
my journey, like I mentioned at the beginning of us talking, I think a big part of me not feeling
ready or like I wanted children at first was that I felt a lot of fear. And I think some of that was
collective fear, like picking up on collective energy, like the world isn't safe, like where is
the world headed? Things aren't good anymore in the world. Certain things like that. And I think
another aspect of it was like, I didn't meet the right person yet. I think when you are showing up
in life, I don't want to use the word field, but you're feeling more whole on your own and you're
feeling stable and you're feeling like your cup is full and like you're ready to give,
not just receive and you are in this like powerful place and energy of just
showing up in the world and like feeling your own power and then you meet someone else who you're
resonating with and they are kind of in their own power too. And you resonate with them and you
know like, hey, I see myself having a child with them. Like this could be really good. I think that
really speaks volumes. I think it's, you know, there's a lot of fear and thinking about, I don't
know if I'd want to raise a child by myself, you know, that might be for some people, it might not
be for others. And yet I think when there's the right stability, the right foundation, the right
connections in a partner as well as in yourself, that eases a lot of that to be able to see and
bring a child into the world. That feels really, really good. Yeah. And I resonate with that too.
Thank you. Thank you for those tips and thank you for sharing your whole lived experience
from pre-motherhood to currents and everything in between. So I just really appreciate and value
all of your insights always. So thank you, Jen. You're so welcome. And I'm so grateful that I
could be here to talk with you all about this. I feel like I could keep talking for hours. This is
just such an important topic. And yeah, I really, I really, really, really feel that the children
that are coming to this world now are so special and they're carrying a different frequency. And
so this is really important because I feel like we need to listen to not only our own bodies,
but what these children want that are coming forward to come here. And it's like, how do they
want to enter this earth? Absolutely. Not just what we want. So thank you for listening and for
opening this topic up to be explored. Oh my gosh, of course, it's a new way of parenting. It's a new
way of being. And that's really exciting. And I'm excited for our generation and beyond to
change the narrative, right? Like, I apologize as parents. What? There's so many things that are
going to be so healing to come and humbling. So I think we'll have to have you on again. And like,
just as Lucas continues to grow and age and all the different kind of eras of parenthood and
learn from you and your journey. So oh my gosh, I would love that. And you're so right. It's like
a whole different level of conscious parenting that's like taking over the earth right now.
Right. It's so true. And it's so great to see. It's very healing to even see the possibilities
out there. So how can our listeners connect with you? Yes. So you can connect with me on Instagram.
I'm at jargon with Jen. Or you can visit my website at Jennifer-Hoffman.co.
Perfect. Yes. And to our sweet listeners, thank you for being with us. We would love to hear your
thoughts and feedback and takeaways and anything that this brought up in you. You can reach out to
us at Awaken Together podcast on Instagram. You can reach out to Jen directly. And we're always
here for you. Can't wait to be with you all next week. Thanks again, Jen. Bye. Bye.