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I'll state with faith this is my Bible.

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It is the word of truth.

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I am what it says I am.

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I can do what it says I can.

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I'm a believer and not a doubter.

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I'm a doer, not just a hearer.

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I am humble before the Lord.

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I'm obedient to the Lord.

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I am mature in the Lord.

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I'm enthusiastic about the Lord.

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I know that faith comes by hearing

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and hearing by the Word of God.

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Amen.

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I read into your hearing.

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Scripture text today comes from Ephesians 6 verse 4.

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The word says father.

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Somebody say father.

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It says fathers do not provoke your children to anger

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by the way you treat them.

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Rather bring them up in the discipline

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and instruction that come from the Lord.

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Amen.

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Let me begin by saying a very special happy father's day

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to all the fathers in the house

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as well as those future fathers that may be in the house.

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I want to just say we thank you for being with us today

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whether you're in here or online.

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Again I want to say to the ladies who made our father's day breakfast

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so very special on last week.

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We want to thank you for all that you did

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to make that a wonderful occasion.

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To the young people who blessed us with their gifts and talents

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just before you.

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We want to give them a special thanks.

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Amen.

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And to the youth that are preparing a special treat for your dads

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and fathers, a man over 18, a man in general,

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after service.

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We want to say thanks to them as well.

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Amen.

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Now today I just want to speak to you briefly from

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the thought, the influence of a father.

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The influence of a father.

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And I'm taking this from our previous sermon that was entitled

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Be a Good Influencer.

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And I want to use that same definition but today I just want to tie it to fathers.

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Amen.

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Because the word influence and being an influencer

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it means the capacity to have an effect on the character.

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Somebody say character.

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Men you ought to say character.

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You should influence the mental and moral qualities of your child's life.

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You ought to have an input on their morality.

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You ought to have an input on how they are shaped mentally.

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Then the other part of that says you ought to affect the development.

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Somebody say development man.

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In other words fathers should encourage and influence the growth and the success

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and the maturity of their children.

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Fathers in the Old Testament and in the Bible in general played a key part

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in their children's lives.

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They were responsible for the training and the upbringing

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and making sure they were brought up with good moral values.

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The last thing it says behavior.

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Somebody say behavior.

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Fathers you should influence the way your children act and conduct themselves.

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Amen.

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When they are out in public you ought to have some influence on how they act

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while they were few.

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When they go see Big Mama.

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It ain't to you.

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Whoever they visit in.

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They shouldn't tell Big Mama's house.

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Because they tell up your house.

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Amen.

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When you say sit down and get off Big Mama's furniture

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they need to sit down and get off Big Mama's furniture.

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Because you are trying to mold them so that they will act a certain way

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when they are out in public.

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Now this past week I was doing some research

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and looking at some statistics about the influence of fathers.

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And now like most statistics the data can be inflated.

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But what is communicated does reveal to us some special things

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about the influence of a father in a child's life.

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Now look at this.

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Number one it says 85% of the youth who are currently in prison

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grew up in a fatherless home.

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Seven out of ten children housed in state institutions.

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I'm talking about now not the big prison

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but the little correctional institution.

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The detention center or residential treatment facility.

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Seven out of ten of those children come from fatherless homes.

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85% of all the children who exhibit some type of behavior disorder

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comes from fatherless homes.

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Children from fatherless homes are two times more likely to commit suicide.

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Children from fatherless homes are twice as likely to drop out of school.

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Children from fatherless homes are ten times more likely

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to abuse some type of drug or chemical product.

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Death cope, fentanyl, crack, and even herbal.

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Teen girls from fatherless homes are four times more likely to become mothers

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before they are 20.

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44% of the children in homes headed by a single mother lives in poverty

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compared to 12% of those from married homes.

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In the United States, in Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama,

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those three states have the highest percentage of fatherless homes.

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All of them are over 30%.

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Now that was many other statistics that I could read before you.

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They even broke these statistics down into racial or ethnic categories as well.

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And when it comes to our community, those numbers are always disproportionate.

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In other words, they don't meet the size of the population that we make up.

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For example, we only make up about 12.1% of the population in the United States.

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But we make up over 40% of the prism population.

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How do you get 40% from 12% and put them in prison?

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So my point remains the same.

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The presence of a father in the home influences it and makes a tremendous difference

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in the child's life as well as that child's future.

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And even if you are married to your baby mama, or not married, I'm sorry, to your baby mama,

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you should still be an influence in your child's life.

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And your baby mama got a lot of drama.

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You take her to court so you can get access to your child.

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Don't run away from your responsibilities.

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And I know a lot of times men, especially the black men,

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would run away from our responsibility because we don't want to pay child support.

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We don't want to pay the price to be the dad or the father.

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So when I'm telling you, get your lawyer, go to court so you can at least have

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visitation rights in your child's life.

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Because if you don't, that child is going to only know about you what the mama said.

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And if she is painting a picture that is not accurate about you, that's all the child got to go home.

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Especially if all you are is a sperm donor.

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We have to be involved in our children's lives after they come into the world.

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And we must be involved even if we don't get along with their mama.

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Amen.

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So in the Bible, 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, the apostle Paul in this context,

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he was using this passage of scripture to describe to the Thessalonians

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how him and Silas had cared for them and conducted themselves, you know,

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as a father would look out for a child while they were with them sharing the gospel.

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And so from this text, and I want to give you a reason to believe

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that fathers should care for and conduct themselves in a similar manner

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in order to be an influence in their children's lives.

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And I'm going to read this and I'm just going to connect this to a father

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even though they were talking about their relationship with the church.

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In verse 10 of 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, it says this,

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you yourselves are our witnesses talking about the Thessalonians

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whether witness to how Paul and Silas conducted themselves.

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So when I'm telling you, dads, your children are going to be the ones who are witnessing what you're doing.

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How you carry yourself and how you conduct yourself in front of your children

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will determine how they will testify about you later.

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Because they are going to testify based upon what they...

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So you are our witnesses and so is God.

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So God is even looking at you and seeing how you conduct yourself as a father.

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And he is not basing that on what you do in here on Sunday.

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Because in here on Sunday we can be the best dads in the world.

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So when God looks, he wants to make sure that we were devout.

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So we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of all of you believers.

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Now get this, first of all he says, look, you got to be committed to God.

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Dad, amen, you got to be devout.

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You just can't come to church on Sunday and don't have nothing else to do with God on Monday.

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You got to show that before your children and sometime when they see you studied,

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when they see you pray, when they see you meditate on God's work,

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when they see you doing the things like you are devoted to God,

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then they will eventually pick up on what you are doing.

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You need to be honest, he says, with your children. You got to be truthful.

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If you ain't going to take them to the park, don't tell them you're going to take them.

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I mean be honest with them.

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And I think children will appreciate you honestly.

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Faultness means that you got to live right before your children.

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You're not going to be perfect, but you can at least live to the best of your ability.

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And sometime the best thing that you can do in front of your children for those of you who are married

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is to treat their mama right.

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Treat their mama right. Let them see you love their mother.

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And I guarantee you they will grow up loving their mother and they will grow up respecting you.

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Verse 11 he says now, and you know that we treated each of you, somebody say each of you,

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as a father, as a father treat his own children, each of you, if you got more than one child,

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they are not the same. They are very different. They're unique in their own way.

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And so what you got to do as a father, you got to understand their uniqueness

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and you got to treat them differently based upon who they are.

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You don't show favoritism. He's not talking about favoritism here

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because you still want to treat them fairly amongst themselves.

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However, you got to know the personality of each one of your children there

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so that you know the one that can handle you hollering at them and the one that can can.

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Amen. Some of them can take you yelling and that's okay.

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That's what you got to do sometime to get their attention.

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But some of them can't handle you just going off.

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And if you're a Christian father, I know you ain't cursing your kid.

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I just know ain't nobody sitting up and striving today that you've been cursing,

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curse words and language like that when they're talking to their,

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even if you're online, if you don't took this time to listen to me today,

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I want to challenge you. If you curse at that your kid, you need to shut that up.

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Amen. Amen.

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He says now in verse 12, he says,

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we plead with you.

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We plead it with you. In other words, fathers,

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sometime you're going to have to make a positive, strong appeal to your children.

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Amen. You're going to have to plead with them.

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You can't always beat it out of them and beat it in them.

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I mean, we were brought up thinking that that's how you plead. You beat.

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And then you hope that by beating they going to comply.

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And then later they'll get desensitized to that.

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And they become mean and they become angry.

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And just like you beat them, they'll beat somebody else.

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Now the Bible in door spanking and you got to put your corporate, I ain't got no problem with that.

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But you can't do that when you're mad and you're angry because the Boston got on your nerve

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and now you come home and beat your children because you can't beat the boss.

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So sometimes somebody say, please dad,

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sometime you got to sit down and just plead with your children.

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Then he says, we plead it with you. We encouraged you.

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So sometime you're going to have to cheer them up and inspire them.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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Sometime they're going to want to quit.

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And when they want to quit, you're going to have to inspire them to keep going.

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Especially if it's something that's going to be beneficial for them

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because sometime children will give up.

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But if they got a father in their life or they got someone in their life who is encouraging them to keep on going,

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you never know what that child is going to turn out to be.

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If you just continue to encourage them when they want to quit.

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And then he says, and we urge you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy.

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So sometime you got to persuade and urge your children to live right.

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And the easy way to do that is to about living right before them.

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Challenge them to follow your...

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And as you do that, you will be encouraging them to live in a way that God would consider worthy.

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Not you, but that God.

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Now, fathers, you can't do that if you don't have a relationship with God.

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But you don't know what God considers worthy.

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So I want to challenge any of you that's listening to me online or in the house today.

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Man, if you're a dad or a man and you don't get on our 8.30 service with the men on Sunday morning,

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you're missing some lessons that could teach you how to be a good father, a good man.

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To be the protector of your family, the provider for your family, the one who nurtures and cultivates the family.

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You need to be educated because you can't teach your children what you don't know.

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And if you don't know God, there's no way you're going to teach them anything about.

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So you got to live your life in a way that God considers worthy.

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Look here, for He called you to share in His kingdom and glory.

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And His kingdom and honor.

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Now look at this, God called them to do that, but that's like He's calling you fathers to do the same thing.

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He's calling you so that you can share in His kingdom and His glory.

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And you can't do that online fathers that may not be in a church somewhere.

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You need to be connected to a church or something that has got kingdom-mindedness.

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Amen. You're not going to learn about the kingdom of God if you don't come to places that talk about the kingdom of God.

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You got to get in this word and know what it says because it will teach you how to live in God's kingdom.

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And as you learn how to live in God's kingdom, men, then you will be a better example for your children.

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Now let's look at 2nd turn Hebrews chapter 12 verse 9 through 11.

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The father must correct and discipline their children.

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Here the writer of Hebrews compared earthly fathers to our heavenly fathers to describe the value of discipline and training that leads to right living.

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See at times children will need to be disciplined. Amen. They need to be trained to obey rules and how to exhibit the proper behavior.

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And sometimes you have to use some form of punishment to get this point across.

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Now discipline should not occur out of anger or cruelty,

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but a loving father know how to discipline his kids in a way where the kid understands that I'm doing this for your own...

247
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You know granddaddy, you tell us that this is for your own good boy, but I didn't feel like that.

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Because granddaddy wasn't the type who reasoned with you.

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You know, if he said do it, you had one time to not do it, and the next time he was going to discipline you.

250
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Amen. Now I don't encourage no one to discipline their children like granddaddy did us.

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I mean because granddaddy was just granddaddy, you know.

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Now I could look at myself at exhibit A and say I'm okay.

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So I'm not going to buy into the fact that I came out all warped and didn't know how to live and didn't know how to stay out of trouble because granddaddy laid down a rod.

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I came out all right.

255
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They didn't tell us about no PTSD, so I don't think I've ever had no PTSD moment, PTSD moment,

256
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because granddaddy whipped me with an extension cord.

257
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I don't think I woke up in the middle of the night, don't know how I'm going to school and all that because I got tossed around pretty good yesterday,

258
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but I was bad, I was wrong.

259
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Now I wouldn't whip my kids with an extension cord. I wouldn't do that.

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But I did used to use a rule on them.

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Amen. I'm just being a testimony right here.

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When they start saying you can't hit them on the legs because they're sure whips on them, they go to school,

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teach a seed, you may be in trouble. Okay.

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Hold out your hand.

265
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Because you're going to get a little rule action right now.

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Now they didn't teach me time out, so that wasn't even in my inventory.

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It wasn't like, hey, this is a time out offense right here.

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This is a rule offense and this is a hardcore whooping on the back side.

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I know my kids probably wish they had time out as an option. It just wasn't.

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But nowadays they say time out may work on them.

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If it's working for your little Johnny, time out them all day.

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Put them in the corner, let them sit there for a couple of hours and that caused them to act right.

273
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Does that get you what you're looking for?

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If that gets you the results and it's working, you do that.

275
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But sometimes we're going to see here that discipline is painful.

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Amen. But it's only painful for a season because the end result is supposed to bear fruit

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that's going to be beneficial for your children.

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And so again, let me reiterate this because I don't want somebody having the child advocacy folks calling me tomorrow

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because you know y'all passed the said.

280
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Now I'm not telling you to beat your children while you're mad and angry and all that.

281
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Well, you don't beat them, you don't broke the arm and broke the finger.

282
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That's cruelty, that's abuse.

283
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Amen. But I am advocating that when they get to a point that they're not listening to you,

284
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you're going to have to do something before the popo discipline.

285
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Amen. The popo ain't going to reason with them.

286
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And they're going to even use please.

287
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They're going to even give them the benefit of the doubt if they look like me.

288
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He ain't going to even give your child the benefit of the doubt.

289
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So knowing that's the case, it's better for you to discipline them instead of having to take a chance with the...

290
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Hold on, hold on.

291
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You first, that's what's the latest.

292
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Help me out.

293
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And you know we got that on film.

294
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So fathers, you got to correct and discipline your children.

295
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That all falls upon that training umbrella.

296
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,000
So look at this in verse 9 of Hebrews chapter 12.

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It says, since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us,

298
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shouldn't we submit even more to the discipline of the father of our spirits and live forever?

299
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And we're making a comparison that, hey, if you would obey your earthly father, surely you should obey God.

300
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And so therefore if we obey our earthly father, that is a way to say that then once we come into the knowledge of who God is,

301
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that the good possibility we may obey God.

302
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,000
And so he says this now, that we want to obey our earthly father,

303
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but at the same time we want to let our children know that we obey our heavenly father,

304
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who is the one that's in charge of our spirit and our soul and going to determine whether or not we're going to live forever.

305
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He said this, for our earthly fathers discipline us for a few years,

306
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doing the best that they knew how.

307
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,000
Granddaddy was doing the best he knew how.

308
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He didn't know time out. He didn't know about that.

309
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All he knew is he worked hard all day on the railroad,

310
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and he did what he had to do living in Montgomery, Alabama, and sometime he wasn't going to take no lift from a little area.

311
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Just wasn't going to take no lift from a little area.

312
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,000
I got more whipping by my granddad than I got put by my own daddy.

313
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Granddaddy just didn't play.

314
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And he made sure that we were going to protect the bolder name.

315
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He would tell us, you're not going to go out there and end up in jail with no criminal record.

316
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You're not going to do that. And as a result of that, whenever I catch you wrong,

317
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I'm going to take your business.

318
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You know how I look back at that night? I never forget one night I decided I was going to be bold enough to sneak out the house.

319
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So I went out the bedroom window to get out there and play in the hood at night time.

320
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Even on Montgomery, Alabama, we did some crazy stuff at the after-dawn.

321
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And so I was on restriction. I couldn't go out.

322
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So I said, I'm just going out to the window.

323
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Ain't nobody going to come check the room.

324
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Daddy don't normally come and check.

325
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Mom kind of let me have my way.

326
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But granddaddy, we all living with him. So it's his house.

327
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He going to check.

328
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,000
By 8.30, he looked in the room. I was gone.

329
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000
I'm out there living up on the block with my boy.

330
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Having a good time.

331
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
Granddaddy walked up on us in that block.

332
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And he commenced to beat me down right down front of my boy.

333
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And I figured since granddaddy is old, I'll just outrun him.

334
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I'll just outrun the old man.

335
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But the old man caught me.

336
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And you know, when you run from them and they catch up with you,

337
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they're going to beat you for making them exert that much effort to catch you.

338
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And so that was probably the worst beating I ever got by my granddaddy.

339
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But that was probably the last one too because I knew then I'm not going to cross my granddaddy.

340
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And even with me having that vivid in my memory,

341
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
some of y'all kids looking at me like, what?

342
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Because y'all wasn't born that generation. You couldn't survive that now.

343
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Y'all just a different breed of kids. Y'all couldn't handle that right now.

344
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But I guess we had some in our time zone and our era that allowed us to handle that.

345
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Maybe we were just a couple of generations of slavery,

346
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
so getting to beat down was not a bad thing, you know,

347
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000
and the fact that you could deal with it and come out all right.

348
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Nowadays, I ain't gonna knock it.

349
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Yeah, if you, probably if some of your kids got what I got from granddaddy,

350
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they may have some PTSD at you.

351
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Amen.

352
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,000
But we were just, and again I know this will go against all the modern day teaching,

353
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we were just brought up thinking that you were mentally tough.

354
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You get past that.

355
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After you get through crying and the web's go down,

356
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you just move on and just do what granddaddy said.

357
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You ain't even think about it no more.

358
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So what I'm saying is that granddaddy did the best that he knew how.

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And being my sister, we turned out all right.

360
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Amen.

361
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:02,000
So I'm a living witness that you can put a little rod on your children.

362
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:08,000
I'm not saying an extension cord, a broomstick or whatever,

363
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but you won't hurt them too bad.

364
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
They'll be all right.

365
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And you know what I learned is that children are very forgiven.

366
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They got a short memory.

367
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They don't hold on to that with them.

368
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You know, you can whip them and three minutes later,

369
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they'll be sitting in your lap just laughing and playing right along with you.

370
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And you'll be giving them cookies and candy and all that.

371
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,000
But anyway, parents, particularly dads,

372
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you got to discipline your children however the Lord needs you.

373
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You can't let them train themselves.

374
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You got to take part in their training.

375
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He says now, they did the best they knew how,

376
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:57,000
but God's discipline is always good for us so that we might share in His holiness.

377
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,000
So when God discipline us, He's taking us to a place that we could be more like Him.

378
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:07,000
And it's designed to correct us and put us on a path that's going to be beneficial for our lives.

379
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,000
He says now look, this is verse 11. This is a true statement, real true here.

380
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:17,000
No discipline is enjoyable while it's happening.

381
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Even if you time out them and they're sitting over there singing nursery rhymes

382
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:26,000
and having a good time on time out, then they're having too much joy.

383
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Y'all on here?

384
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Discipline is not supposed to be enjoyable.

385
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
They should be sitting there, when am I getting out this corner?

386
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,000
When you gonna give me my PlayStation 5 back?

387
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
When you gonna give me my phone back?

388
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,000
It is not supposed to be in your...

389
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
Maybe some of the best discipline you can do for your children.

390
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:55,000
They just take their phone for a day.

391
00:27:55,000 --> 00:28:00,000
You'll find out that that is not in...

392
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:06,000
That may work better James than granddad's extension call.

393
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Just take that.

394
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:13,000
And if they drive them, just take the key.

395
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Look, your name ain't even on the title.

396
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
You ain't got no rights to it, you don't make no payments on it.

397
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:26,000
There was a gift to you and right now I'm taking it back until you start acting right.

398
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
And until you start acting right, there your bioscittles.

399
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Go ahead and go for it.

400
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,000
And oh by the way, school bus still come by here.

401
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:38,000
You gonna ride the school bus for the next week.

402
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000
That ain't enjoyable.

403
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,000
But if you discipline them and then they get joy out of it,

404
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000
chances are they ain't learned enough.

405
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,000
Amen.

406
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,000
He says no discipline is enjoyable while it's happening.

407
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000
It is painful.

408
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
But afterwards, somebody say afterwards,

409
00:28:54,000 --> 00:29:01,000
afterwards there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

410
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Proverbs tells us to train up a child in a way that you go

411
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,000
and when they get old they will not depart from it.

412
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,000
In other words, you gotta put them on a path.

413
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000
And if you put them on that path when they're young,

414
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,000
he's saying that there's a good possibility as they get older,

415
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000
even if they stray away from the path,

416
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,000
eventually they will come back to the path that you put them on.

417
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,000
And so those of you who got young children, father,

418
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:27,000
I encourage you, put your children on the right path while they're young.

419
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Most of that personality and all that stuff is gonna take place in them

420
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,000
before they get 6 years old.

421
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Your most active time with bringing your children up

422
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,000
is when they're in that age from 0 to 6, 7 years old

423
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,000
because you can make the biggest impression in their lives during that time.

424
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:48,000
After that, you're gonna have to discipline them or train them in a way that you gotta break something.

425
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,000
They may have to go through a significant emotional event

426
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
for you to change some of their behavior

427
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,000
because you did not do it on the front end.

428
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,000
And the sad truth is that you won't train them up,

429
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000
the streets gonna train them up.

430
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000
And if y'all live in the hood and you don't live in the hood,

431
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000
you live on the hill somewhere,

432
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,000
I'm telling you they got bad kids on the hill.

433
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,000
They got bad kids over in Niceville,

434
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,000
up in the north regions of Crestview, they got some bad kids.

435
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,000
And they got some bad kids who money, got some money.

436
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Who mama's got some money.

437
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000
And dad's got some money.

438
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,000
So look here, you need to be mindful that if you're not gonna do your job,

439
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,000
somebody else is gonna do it.

440
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000
They gonna go to school and get educated,

441
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,000
not just with books, but with the stuff that comes off the street.

442
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:43,000
And so parents, fathers in particular,

443
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,000
you got to train your children.

444
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,000
You got to establish standards for them to live by.

445
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,000
And you can't just train them by talking and teaching,

446
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,000
you got to train them by living it.

447
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000
Amen.

448
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,000
Children understand when we are hypocritical.

449
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I mean they're with us all the time.

450
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,000
You know, I know sometimes, I know,

451
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:10,000
I wish we could have a mama sometime with the people who teach your children.

452
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,000
I wish I was bold enough to be honest and say,

453
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,000
hey teachers, tell me what you think about my child.

454
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
What's going on?

455
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000
Because I'm telling you, your children are saying some things

456
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,000
out of the pureness of their heart,

457
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,000
that they are seeing that don't line up with what happens in here.

458
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:34,000
And so if you're open for feedback,

459
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,000
I would suggest that you go to the teacher that teach our children

460
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000
and ask, hey, how is Lil Johnny acting in class?

461
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000
What are they saying?

462
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000
And then when you get the truth, don't go home now

463
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,000
and all of a sudden want to be dad,

464
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:51,000
and get firm and beat them down because they done told on you.

465
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:56,000
He ain't the same person you see at church.

466
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000
I said I'm not going to meddle today, so let me move on.

467
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,000
This is Father's Day, but you know, we don't get this once a year,

468
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
dad's father's, you know, once a year.

469
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,000
And so we just got to know and understand.

470
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,000
Something to close, go back to our text real quick in Ephesians chapter 6,

471
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,000
but I want to read one through four because I want to close with,

472
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:28,000
by looking at all four verses so you can see the promises

473
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000
that God make to the children.

474
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
So we still got any young people in here.

475
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,000
God make you some promises that you need to believe

476
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,000
that if you honor what God is saying, that your life would be better.

477
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Now I want to be clear here,

478
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:46,000
there's a difference between, you know, your children obeying you

479
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000
and honoring you.

480
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
Amen.

481
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,000
See, obeying lasts until they get grown.

482
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,000
When they get grown, they ain't got to obey you.

483
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Obey me that you tell them to do something

484
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,000
they just ask how high it went to come down.

485
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,000
You don't need to buy that car.

486
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000
Well, I ain't asking you.

487
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000
I got a job, I'm grown.

488
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
And I want me another car, so I'm going to get me a car.

489
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000
I ain't asking no wisdom right here.

490
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Or you can give me right now some wisdom.

491
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,000
But you can't tell me I can't buy the car.

492
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
So your children have to obey you while they're living with you

493
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000
and under your care.

494
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
When they get grown, they can make their own decisions

495
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000
based on how you brought them up.

496
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000
And I hope you brought them alright.

497
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:38,000
But they have to honor you all the days of their lives.

498
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,000
So look at this, in verse 1 of Ephesians chapter 6 says,

499
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord.

500
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Do what they say, because even as a child, you belong to the Lord.

501
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:59,000
For he says, now look, for this is the right thing to do.

502
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:03,000
It is right for a child to obey his parents.

503
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,000
It is not right for a child to look at his mother or father,

504
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,000
for that girl to look at her mother or father,

505
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:17,000
and say, I am not doing that, and they're five years old.

506
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:22,000
They don't have a right to tell you what they are not going to do

507
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,000
at five years old.

508
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Unless you are trying to tell them something that is ungodly,

509
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,000
something that they shouldn't do that's not going to be beneficial

510
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000
for their growth and maturity.

511
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:37,000
And even a bad parent try to live right before their children

512
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000
while they're little.

513
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000
Even a parent that out there cutting the food,

514
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
trying not to cut the food right over their little children.

515
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Then when the kids get big enough, they can kind of see what mom and dad are doing

516
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
how they're cutting the food.

517
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,000
But look here, what you need to understand here is that it's right

518
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,000
for them to do what you tell them to do.

519
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,000
And it's right for you to expect them, parent, to do what you say do.

520
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Your child running down the street on a busy street,

521
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,000
and you say, stop, you ain't got time to negotiate that.

522
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,000
When you say stop, they need to stop.

523
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Because you may see something that they don't see.

524
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,000
But if you're in that position where they don't hear your voice,

525
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,000
you know, how can we train a dog to yield, to bark, to roll over,

526
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,000
to fetch and do all this?

527
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000
And we can't get our kids to do that.

528
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000
You've got to train them to do that.

529
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:33,000
You train dogs, you train animals, why can't we train them?

530
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:40,000
We put our dogs in obedience training for six weeks.

531
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,000
And they come back keeping your house pretty clean.

532
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,000
They ain't peeing on the rugs, they ain't pooping in the kitchen.

533
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,000
They come to their little women and scratch it.

534
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,000
You've got to not cut it and they're gone out.

535
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,000
But then when they come to train your children to go to the bathroom,

536
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,000
they're five years old and you've got pull-ups.

537
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:07,000
You train the dog to mess up your house, but little Johnny can...

538
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:13,000
I get on my kids all the time about different causes, because that's real.

539
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,000
See, when we were coming up, we were trained,

540
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:20,000
we didn't have the convenience of pampers.

541
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,000
We had real diapers.

542
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,000
And when they pooped out in public, you didn't just throw the diapers away

543
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,000
and you couldn't afford to keep buying diapers, they could do with pampers.

544
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:34,000
You had to go to somebody's bathroom and wipe them out real quick,

545
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,000
roll them up, put them in a plastic bag and take them back home so you can wash them.

546
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,000
So we had an incentive to get them out of diapers in a hurry.

547
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:48,000
My kids was training to go to the park by the time they were 15 months old.

548
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
15 months old. But it didn't just happen.

549
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,000
It took me waking them up in the morning at four o'clock,

550
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,000
take them and sit them on the party and turn the water on and say,

551
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,000
hey, you gonna sit there till something happens.

552
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:04,000
I know something's going to happen. You gonna sit there and they figured it out.

553
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,000
When I get on the park, something's supposed to happen.

554
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:11,000
So at 15 months, now I could buy real underwear for them

555
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000
and not have to be going where by diaper coat.

556
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Back then, pampers wasn't that popular.

557
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,000
But now they tell you, oh, they gonna figure it out.

558
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,000
So they get three and four years old and you get notes from kindergarten.

559
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Hey, we tired of cleaning.

560
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,000
That's right.

561
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
So no kindergarten teacher want to be cleaning on four-year-old.

562
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,000
That's right.

563
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So we got to train them.

564
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:41,000
And we got to realize that the training is for their benefit.

565
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:45,000
So it's the right thing to do, children, when your parents trying to train you.

566
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,000
It's the right thing for you to do is to obey them.

567
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,000
It says, honor your father and mother.

568
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,000
This is the first commandment with a promise.

569
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,000
So God make you a promise that if you honor your father and your mother,

570
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:02,000
it's a good possibility that you gonna live longer.

571
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
Amen.

572
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Look at this.

573
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
He says, honor your father and your mother.

574
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,000
This is the first commandment with a promise.

575
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,000
If you honor, and I told you to honor me,

576
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,000
you got to be there for them all their life,

577
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,000
honor them, your father and mother.

578
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Things will go well with you,

579
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:23,000
and you will have a long life on earth.

580
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,000
By honoring your father and your mother.

581
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:30,000
Now I'm pretty sure that that don't play out 100% of the time on most people's life.

582
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,000
But the principle here is that if you teach them to honor you and respect you

583
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:40,000
and to obey you, then it's a good possibility they gonna live longer.

584
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:45,000
Because if they won't obey you at home, they gonna obey nobody out in the street.

585
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Amen.

586
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000
So obedience start at home.

587
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:53,000
Your children ought to know how to respect adults because you have trained them that way.

588
00:38:53,000 --> 00:39:00,000
And as a result of that, you don't have to worry about all these notes that they sent home now.

589
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:05,000
You know, some kids in elementary pre-K and kindergarten, in first grade,

590
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:10,000
man, they got jackets this thick.

591
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
You got nose every day this week.

592
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,000
Smile at face, turn upside down.

593
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:20,000
What you gonna do about it?

594
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,000
Amen.

595
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:25,000
And so often as a parent, we are always for the most part,

596
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000
side without you.

597
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,000
For the most part, you gonna side with them too.

598
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,000
Now all of a sudden the teachers, the meanest thing that ever came on earth.

599
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Just pick it on your baby.

600
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Well, some teachers are biased, so I know I got some teachers in here that are gonna argument it out.

601
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000
Some teachers that got biased.

602
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Okay, got it.

603
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,000
But on up the little Johnny bad.

604
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:57,000
He bad, B-A-D at home, and he B-A-D at...

605
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Don't be a denial.

606
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,000
He's that one.

607
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
He's that different one.

608
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,000
He's that one that you gonna have to work hard to train.

609
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,000
Amen, some of your kids gonna just fall in line right away.

610
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Yes ma'am, yes, da-da-da-da-da.

611
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,000
But there's always gonna be that one.

612
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,000
That gonna keep you praying.

613
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Amen.

614
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,000
But you still gotta train that one.

615
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,000
And so kids can make you a promise.

616
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:34,000
If you wanna live long in the earth, you know, you ought to honor your father and your mother.

617
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:40,000
You know, when I read that scripture, I was just getting serious about the Word of God and studying the Word of God.

618
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:49,000
And when I...as I was studying in that part of the Bible, Marvin Gaye got killed.

619
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:56,000
And when he got killed, that passive scripture came back to me.

620
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:02,000
And the reason it did, because he got killed by his own father.

621
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,000
So somewhere in his father was a sinner.

622
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Still.

623
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:14,000
So somewhere in that training process, he forgot to honor his father and his mother.

624
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,000
That his days may be long in the earth.

625
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:26,000
So this powerful singer, great mind, dead about 44 years old.

626
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:30,000
All because him and his daddy couldn't get along.

627
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,000
So children, I tell you this, this is a true thing.

628
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:40,000
If you in your mama's and daddy's house, you play by the house.

629
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Amen.

630
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,000
Don't make up your rules in their house.

631
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:51,000
Now you can negotiate the rules for changes, but for the most part, you're not the rule maker.

632
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,000
And you need to obey and honor your parents.

633
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Amen.

634
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:04,000
And parents, as they obey and honor you, you can't be abusive and you can't treat them any kind of way.

635
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:10,000
And then he come off of talking about the children, and then he tells the father's this.

636
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:16,000
Now when Paul tells the father's this, he's not telling them so that they can get authority.

637
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:24,000
By nature of the times that they was living in, the man already had authority.

638
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:28,000
He didn't have to get it. It came with him.

639
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:33,000
And so what he was trying to do, he said, hey, don't let your authority go to your head,

640
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:38,000
to the point that you abuse the authority that you inherently have.

641
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,000
And so the same thing apply to us today, men.

642
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:45,000
You are the authority figure in your household.

643
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:52,000
And I know we live into the time where ladies don't always like to hear that word authority in the head of the household.

644
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,000
They just got to argue with God.

645
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:59,000
God know how he wanted to organize the family.

646
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:03,000
And he said the father, the head, the mom, and then the children come.

647
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:07,000
So they have the order, tear, one, two, three.

648
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,000
But I told you ladies, you got influence.

649
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,000
Don't worry about where you fall in the tear.

650
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,000
You just use the influence over the head.

651
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Amen.

652
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:22,000
And so therefore when you understand this, when a man try to operate his authority,

653
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:28,000
he can't be abusive in his authority toward his wife or his children.

654
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000
So then in verse four, as I close, he come back to now and say, fathers,

655
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,000
after he's untold the children what to do, he says, fathers, do not provoke.

656
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Somebody say, provoke.

657
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:46,000
You know, Dad, sometimes we can aggravate them to the point that they'll break, turn on you.

658
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
I did that one time with Kwanda.

659
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000
Kwanda was the middle child.

660
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,000
I don't know if there's a middle child syndrome or what it is, but she was the middle baby.

661
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,000
You know, she was just a middle girl, but she was different than the other one.

662
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,000
Flee was kind of smart and just kind of the first one.

663
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,000
So she just kind of had a heart just because we were young and didn't know.

664
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:07,000
Then Kwanda came along, you know, she was all right, but Kwanda had a little streak in her.

665
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,000
I mean, little streak in her.

666
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Candid was the last one.

667
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
She was like cream puffs, so she was different.

668
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:15,000
So in between Candid and Flee is Kwanda.

669
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:21,000
And you tell Kwanda to do something, Kwanda, look at you.

670
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:28,000
And I was taught by Granddaddy when I say move, you don't think.

671
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000
You move.

672
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:37,000
So one day Kwanda, I think she was about 13 at the time, I said something, she didn't move.

673
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,000
And all of a sudden this day I think maybe that's the boy coming out of her.

674
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,000
But at that time, you know, boy, we want to challenge the dad at some point in time thinking, you know, what dad,

675
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,000
well that day she wasn't moving.

676
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:55,000
And I look back at that and say, man, I know it didn't do no serious damage to her,

677
00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:01,000
but I had to get in her car lot.

678
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:06,000
When I tell you to do something.

679
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
And you know, Kwanda's pretty strong.

680
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,000
She didn't take no teeth from me, you know, I had to.

681
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Kwanda's the one I had to go on field trips with.

682
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Amen. I'm just telling the truth.

683
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:22,000
I mean, he was going to field her because Tee said, hey, look here, when she get in that move, we can't deal with her.

684
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:26,000
And so that day I looked at that and I said, man, God.

685
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:30,000
I looked back and I said, did I handle that right when I had to smash in a collar like that?

686
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Because I remember that like it was yesterday.

687
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,000
Maybe I should have been a little bit more gentle.

688
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:40,000
But at the time, you know, I was just old school.

689
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000
I said it, you do it.

690
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:47,000
But me and Kwanda Koo now, I mean, she ain't got no PTSD.

691
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,000
At least she's still treating me all right, dude.

692
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000
You know, she still loved daddy.

693
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,000
I mean, it wasn't like I did that and now all of a sudden she's scarred.

694
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
I ain't going to never speak to my dad again.

695
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,000
No.

696
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:03,000
Probably talk to him when I talk to all of them every day almost.

697
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:08,000
But when I look back at it, I see a lot of me and her.

698
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:14,000
I see a lot of me and her, you know.

699
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:20,000
So when I read this, I said, man, did I provoke her that day?

700
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Did I just kept pushing her and kept pushing her and kept pushing her?

701
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:29,000
Because she finally said, hey, I'm just going to snap and I'm going to bow up on you right here right now.

702
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:36,000
So what we can't do, fathers, we can't push our children to the point of anger.

703
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Because if you do, they will get angry and they're going to respond out of their anger.

704
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:47,000
So he says, don't provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.

705
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,000
So treat them right.

706
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:53,000
Then he says, rather bring them up with the discipline, that's the training,

707
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,000
and the instruction that comes from the Lord.

708
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:03,000
So men, fathers, we have a responsibility to train our kids and to discipline our kids

709
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:10,000
and to give them the instruction that comes from the Bible God of Pastor Scripture in here

710
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:14,000
that will teach you how to raise your children.

711
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000
You don't have to go to some self-help book.

712
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:21,000
You just look and see what the Bible say about how to deal with your children.

713
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:26,000
How to love them, how to care for them, also how to discipline them.

714
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,000
Amen.

715
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:36,000
And so therefore I submit to you, dads, fathers, that it's your responsibility to love,

716
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
to guide, to correct, and discipline your children.

717
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:51,000
And even if you are not there with them because of baby mama drama, those responsibilities don't change.

718
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:58,000
You need to work out an agreement with your baby's mama and say, hey, I'm not trying to upset you anymore.

719
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:03,000
We don't went through our dumbness, but I do want to have access to my kids.

720
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:09,000
And if I got to take you to court to give visitation right, I'm going to do that.

721
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Because there ain't no other man going to come in and raise mine and that child don't know who their dad is.

722
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,000
But as I'm talking to you, you got some friends like that who's in those situations.

723
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:28,000
You need to tell them, walk over the childcare payments and all that stuff so they ain't got to garnish your check and be looking for you.

724
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:33,000
You know that's your baby. Take care of your responsibility.

725
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,000
I never forget, this is my personal testimony here.

726
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Most of y'all know that Flea was kind of conceited when we weren't married.

727
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000
Okay, where she was.

728
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:50,000
You talk about like you know something over there.

729
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,000
But anyway, so we were young.

730
00:48:53,000 --> 00:49:01,000
We were young, you know, and I was just in high school, came in the military, came home off my basic training leave and bam,

731
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:06,000
11 months later, 9 months later, Flea, December, you know, boom, there, right there.

732
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:11,000
But I never forget when I talked to Jeanette's mom, her mom told me, say,

733
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:17,000
now if you don't really love Jeanette, don't you marry her.

734
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,000
Don't worry about the baby. We're going to take care of the baby.

735
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000
There's another one, we're going to take care of the baby.

736
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,000
You know that.

737
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,000
Now, and I said, wow, she didn't gave me a way out.

738
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
I mean, I mean, you know, I want to be a dead be dead.

739
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,000
She just, bam, gave me a way out.

740
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:45,000
Now, I didn't think about it too long, but I went home and I was talking to my mom's sister and I told her about what was happening with me and Flea.

741
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:51,000
And I'll never forget my auntie told me, if whatever you do, you better take care of that baby.

742
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:57,000
And if it means marrying her, you better marry her right now.

743
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:05,000
I said, man, auntie, auntie, okay. So I took auntie's advice and we got married.

744
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000
And the rest is, you know, history.

745
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:14,000
But I could have either walked away from that responsibility and said, I'm going to let somebody else take care of that.

746
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Because her mom and I gave me a way out.

747
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:23,000
But when I'm trying to tell you, man, you got to own up to your responsibility.

748
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,000
And if that means you got to get your check, gone or should, whatever you call it,

749
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:32,000
when they got to take some of your money out to check to pay your child support, you need to do that.

750
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:39,000
And what I found out is men follow the money.

751
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:43,000
When you start taking that money from the Raskers, they'll show up.

752
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,000
They want to come and see what their investment is going.

753
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:51,000
Because they're going to make sure you ain't spending it all on...

754
00:50:51,000 --> 00:51:01,000
I said, definitely, I'm a bi-sick and you got some new shoes and then got your car.

755
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:06,000
So I close with the fact that, man, we have an awesome responsibility in the times that we're living in.

756
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Especially as African-Americans.

757
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:17,000
Your children are more likely to end up in those statistics than any other race of people on this earth.

758
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000
Absolutely.

759
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:27,000
Every race of people on this earth can get a better deal on a lot of things than we can.

760
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:35,000
Somehow the world has been poisoned to think that we are less than and don't deserve anything.

761
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:43,000
And if they get that same sentiment coming from their parents, then what are our children on things?

762
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000
We got to put the right things in them as fathers.

763
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,000
We got to let them know that they are kings and queens.

764
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:53,000
And we got to treat them to the best of our ability like royalty.

765
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:59,000
And believe that if we treat them like royalty, then they'll grow up to live like royalty.

766
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Amen? I'm done. I'm done. Give the Lord a handclap of praise.

767
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Give the Lord a handclap of praise.