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Hey guys, thanks for joining me today on the DadGoing Podcast.

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Real dads, real talk, no BS.

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Go do some windshield talk today.

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I'm going to just kind of tell you how my week's been going.

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I think that all you grown folks out there are really going to relate to kind of how

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my week has been going.

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It's been a challenging week, that's for sure.

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But before I get started, go ahead and make sure you follow the podcast on all your favorite

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podcasting platforms.

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Share it with all your friends.

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You can leave us a good review if that's a thing.

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But yeah, check us out.

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So it's been a pretty challenging week thus far for me.

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It started off with a little bit of a challenge at work that I took pretty hard just because

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the person who was causing the drama is someone who I really look up to, actually a customer

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of mine.

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But I feel like he's taught me a lot, not just about my job, but just about being a

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good person.

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He's not everybody's cup of tea just because sometimes he can fly off a handle.

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But to each their own, I guess.

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But I think it's worth talking about that we're going to have people that come along

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that we really admire or respect, who are going to either disappoint us or they're going

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to come down on us for whatever reason.

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How we handle that, how we receive that is very important.

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It's very...

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I mean, there's no other way to say it.

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It's just an important thing.

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I personally have always had problems, particularly having criticism or even just any kind of

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anger directed towards me.

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I take it very personal.

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I've taken all kinds of personality tests in my field of work and I'm in sales, so I've

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taken a lot of personality tests, a lot of different ones, and they've all come back

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the same.

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All of them tell me that I take this very thing, that I take criticism not necessarily

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harshly.

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I don't receive it and say, man, that's BS.

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I don't believe that or whatever.

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What it is, I take it as a personal thing that there is something wrong with me.

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A lot of that probably stems from not having that validation from a father figure in my

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life from an early age, with my dad not being in the picture.

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From about third grade on, I never really received that validation of, hey, it's okay

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to get the criticism and it's okay to take it and turn it into something useful.

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Not every bit of criticism is meant as a slight.

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I think that is kind of the key there.

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Because not always is the criticism directed directly at you.

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Oftentimes there are underlying circumstances, there are things going on behind the scenes

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that maybe you don't even know about.

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Maybe that is kind of what is driving this critique or criticism or drama, for lack of

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a better word.

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That's how my week started.

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Over the years, I'm not as bad about it as I used to, receiving the criticism or the

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shade or whatever you want to call it.

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Over the years I've kind of developed this modus operandi, if you will, that particularly

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if someone tells you something that they're upset about, that they wish was being done

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better.

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Particularly when they give you a list of things that they want done, do them immediately.

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Do them thoroughly, do them well, follow through and communicate.

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I did that in this situation and I will tell you it was very well received.

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Text message of this particular person told him what I had done to rectify the things

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that he wanted done.

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He was blown away by my response and he really appreciated the thoroughness and the diligence

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in which I followed through with it.

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He even went on to mention that he needed to calm down, but that his anger was not directed

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towards me.

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But he really appreciated the effort and the diligence that I put in.

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And that went a long way to kind of give me a little bit of a boost.

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The rest of the week thus far has just kind of been a bit stressful just because Monday.

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Disappointment is a type of stress that if you feel like you've disappointed somebody,

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it is a type of stress that just absolutely takes it out of you.

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Because particularly if you are my personality type where if you think someone is disappointed

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in you, that is, you are in overdrive.

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Your mind is going a mile a minute and you are literally trying to do everything you

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can to overcome this disappointment and flip it back the other way.

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So I was, after Monday, I was just exhausted.

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But I haven't had the greatest week since then.

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It's not like anything particularly has gone bad, but it just feels like everything has

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just been hard.

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I feel like I've been trekking through the mud as they say here in the south.

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Not every week is going to be perfect.

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For those of you who follow my Coach Dag Clips channel on YouTube, which I encourage all

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of you to go check out, I told my boys this week that I coach that not every day is going

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to be perfect.

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You are not always going to be 100%.

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I cut a lot of the stuff out of this clip on the Coach Dag Clips, but some of what you

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saw was not every day is going to be 80 degrees and perfect.

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You are not always going to be 100%.

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I also told them that not every day are you going to want to do what you need to do to

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be successful.

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There are going to be days where you feel like doing nothing, where you feel like just

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rolling over and saying, forget it, I quit.

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You are going to want to feel like, you know, woe is me.

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Look how hard I've got it.

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Why isn't somebody else having to do something?

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It doesn't matter.

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You know, that's why I love coaching these kids, because it teaches me so much.

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Because I'm not having a great week, but I'm able to go out and have a moment with these

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kids that gives me clarity about my own situation, because it applies in my situation.

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This week is one of those weeks where I don't feel 100%, where things are hard, where I

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feel like maybe I should just go find another job, just because something didn't go my way

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or I'm catching flack for somebody else's shortcomings or whatever and that's not fair.

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The reality is, if you want to be great in life, if you want to be really good in life,

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you have to be able to take situations like that and push through them.

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You're either going to be willing to do what it takes or you're not.

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You're either going to just roll over and die or you're going to step up.

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Because the question that my boys asked me this week was, coach, why do we have to practice

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when it's cold outside?

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The part that you didn't see in the clips this week was the reason that we have to practice

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when it's cold is because others won't.

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Because that's what separates good from great.

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Good people, they're inherently good.

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You can be really good at your job, honestly, sometimes without very much effort.

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Sorry, passed a dump truck there.

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You can be really good at your job without too much effort in a lot of cases.

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You can go through the motions, as they say.

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Most people would probably consider you whatever they would call good at your job.

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If you want to be great, you've got to be able to push through those times where you

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don't feel like doing it.

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It's one of those things that I know every dad that's listening right now is saying,

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yeah, that's exactly what we need to be teaching our kids.

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For those of us who either didn't grow up with a dad or had an absentee father or whatever,

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sometimes we have to learn these things on our own.

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It's not an excuse just to say, well, I didn't have a dad.

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I'm excused from having to overcome these things.

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That is the way it is and that is forever the way it shall be.

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You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself all you want.

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Your kids are watching.

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They're watching how dad handles these types of weeks where maybe he doesn't feel 100%.

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Maybe he doesn't feel well.

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Maybe he's had a rough week at work.

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Maybe he's had to put in some overtime.

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Maybe he's had to work late.

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Maybe he's had to go in early.

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Maybe all of the above.

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Your kids are not stupid.

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They are absorbing every single thing that they see you do.

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How does dad handle that situation?

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Does he just get mad and come home and start yelling at everybody?

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Does dad lock himself in the room because he just can't handle it?

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Does he neglect mom?

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Does he neglect dad?

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I mean, not dad, excuse me, I'm dad.

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Does he neglect mom?

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Does he neglect the kids?

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Does he leave everything that needs to be done around the house to his partner and his

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kids?

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I mean, I can tell you right now, it ain't going to be easy.

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You're not always going to feel like it, but you got to push through.

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Not saying I'm an expert.

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I'm just saying what I see.

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I'm talking about things that I feel like maybe I've messed up in the past.

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Maybe I could have done better.

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Maybe one of you can benefit from this.

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Maybe this is something that if I can just reach one, I can just reach one of you guys.

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That sounds like a whole nother podcast for me to do because I've got, that just sparked

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something in my head.

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You have no idea, but seriously guys, back on topic here.

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Your kids are watching how you handle your tough weeks because they're having tough weeks

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too.

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They are looking for validation and permission to do exactly what you do whenever times get

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hard, whenever they go to school and they have a problem there.

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Maybe they're not having success with their homework or maybe they're not very good at

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math or maybe they're reading or they're writing is suffering.

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All they've ever seen mom or dad do when they come home and they've had a bad day or maybe

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they've had a struggle of some sort is they lock themselves in their room and close themselves

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off.

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They don't ever ask for help.

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They don't do their diligence.

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They don't do whatever it takes.

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They're absorbing all of it.

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They're like little sponges.

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They are 100% the products of our actions and reactions to how we handle our lives day

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in and day out.

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Build confident kids.

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How do we do that?

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We do that by doing our best to do the right thing and acknowledging when we don't do the

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right thing.

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Kids are watching guys.

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Every single little thing.

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What happens when your kid gets bullied at school and he doesn't want to say anything

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and he sees mom or dad come home from their tough day and start yelling at the other spouse

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and maybe start yelling at the kids.

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Am I touching a nerve yet?

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I hope so.

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Because I hope you realize that what I'm saying is that coming home and acting out on emotion

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on long days or tough days is not the answer.

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We're still dads.

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We're still parents.

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They want to see what they're supposed to do.

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They don't know to ask what do I do when I've got a bully at school that's bothering me,

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dad.

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What do I do whenever I don't know how to do something at school and it's embarrassing

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to me, dad.

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They want to see how you do it and then they're going to go do it.

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That's what they want.

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Kids are visual learners.

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They mimic us.

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Always keep that in mind.

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So guys, slow things down when you have your rough days or rough weeks.

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You're not always going to get it perfect, but you're always going to have the opportunity

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to slow things down maybe after the fact or if you're that on top of things, maybe you

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can do it as it's happening and correct yourself and just correct yourself with your kids.

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Just be like, look, dad's had a really rough week and he didn't really handle things the

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right way whenever he came home on Monday.

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This is not how you respond to resistance.

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This isn't how you respond to tribulation.

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This is what I should have done.

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This is how I should have handled it.

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I think it's worth giving them an apology.

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So just my take on that, guys.

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I think that for the most part, a lot of people do this and they don't even realize it.

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They come home and they act out and they forget that little eyes and little ears are watching

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and listening at all times.

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So always, always, always do your due diligence.

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Slow down.

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Think things out.

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Be logical.

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That's the gift that God gave us as males.

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I'll say it again.

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That is the gift that God gave us as males is we are able to apply a logical analysis

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of the situation.

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So slow things down.

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Talk it out.

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Get it right.

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That's all that matters is that we get it right and that our kids know that we got it

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right.

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All right, guys.

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That's all I've got for today.

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This was Windshield Talk where we listened to me basically do a podcast while I'm on

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the road driving home from work.

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Really appreciate you guys listening.

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Again, be sure to share this with all your friends.

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Check us out on all your favorite podcasting platforms.

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Give us a follow.

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Give us a good review, a like if that's all a thing, whatever.

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Really appreciate you guys and I will see you all next time.