Hey guys, thanks for joining me today on the DadGoing Podcast.
Real dads, real talk, no BS.
Go do some windshield talk today.
I'm going to just kind of tell you how my week's been going.
I think that all you grown folks out there are really going to relate to kind of how
my week has been going.
It's been a challenging week, that's for sure.
But before I get started, go ahead and make sure you follow the podcast on all your favorite
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So it's been a pretty challenging week thus far for me.
It started off with a little bit of a challenge at work that I took pretty hard just because
the person who was causing the drama is someone who I really look up to, actually a customer
of mine.
But I feel like he's taught me a lot, not just about my job, but just about being a
good person.
He's not everybody's cup of tea just because sometimes he can fly off a handle.
But to each their own, I guess.
But I think it's worth talking about that we're going to have people that come along
that we really admire or respect, who are going to either disappoint us or they're going
to come down on us for whatever reason.
How we handle that, how we receive that is very important.
It's very...
I mean, there's no other way to say it.
It's just an important thing.
I personally have always had problems, particularly having criticism or even just any kind of
anger directed towards me.
I take it very personal.
I've taken all kinds of personality tests in my field of work and I'm in sales, so I've
taken a lot of personality tests, a lot of different ones, and they've all come back
the same.
All of them tell me that I take this very thing, that I take criticism not necessarily
harshly.
I don't receive it and say, man, that's BS.
I don't believe that or whatever.
What it is, I take it as a personal thing that there is something wrong with me.
A lot of that probably stems from not having that validation from a father figure in my
life from an early age, with my dad not being in the picture.
From about third grade on, I never really received that validation of, hey, it's okay
to get the criticism and it's okay to take it and turn it into something useful.
Not every bit of criticism is meant as a slight.
I think that is kind of the key there.
Because not always is the criticism directed directly at you.
Oftentimes there are underlying circumstances, there are things going on behind the scenes
that maybe you don't even know about.
Maybe that is kind of what is driving this critique or criticism or drama, for lack of
a better word.
That's how my week started.
Over the years, I'm not as bad about it as I used to, receiving the criticism or the
shade or whatever you want to call it.
Over the years I've kind of developed this modus operandi, if you will, that particularly
if someone tells you something that they're upset about, that they wish was being done
better.
Particularly when they give you a list of things that they want done, do them immediately.
Do them thoroughly, do them well, follow through and communicate.
I did that in this situation and I will tell you it was very well received.
Text message of this particular person told him what I had done to rectify the things
that he wanted done.
He was blown away by my response and he really appreciated the thoroughness and the diligence
in which I followed through with it.
He even went on to mention that he needed to calm down, but that his anger was not directed
towards me.
But he really appreciated the effort and the diligence that I put in.
And that went a long way to kind of give me a little bit of a boost.
The rest of the week thus far has just kind of been a bit stressful just because Monday.
Disappointment is a type of stress that if you feel like you've disappointed somebody,
it is a type of stress that just absolutely takes it out of you.
Because particularly if you are my personality type where if you think someone is disappointed
in you, that is, you are in overdrive.
Your mind is going a mile a minute and you are literally trying to do everything you
can to overcome this disappointment and flip it back the other way.
So I was, after Monday, I was just exhausted.
But I haven't had the greatest week since then.
It's not like anything particularly has gone bad, but it just feels like everything has
just been hard.
I feel like I've been trekking through the mud as they say here in the south.
Not every week is going to be perfect.
For those of you who follow my Coach Dag Clips channel on YouTube, which I encourage all
of you to go check out, I told my boys this week that I coach that not every day is going
to be perfect.
You are not always going to be 100%.
I cut a lot of the stuff out of this clip on the Coach Dag Clips, but some of what you
saw was not every day is going to be 80 degrees and perfect.
You are not always going to be 100%.
I also told them that not every day are you going to want to do what you need to do to
be successful.
There are going to be days where you feel like doing nothing, where you feel like just
rolling over and saying, forget it, I quit.
You are going to want to feel like, you know, woe is me.
Look how hard I've got it.
Why isn't somebody else having to do something?
It doesn't matter.
You know, that's why I love coaching these kids, because it teaches me so much.
Because I'm not having a great week, but I'm able to go out and have a moment with these
kids that gives me clarity about my own situation, because it applies in my situation.
This week is one of those weeks where I don't feel 100%, where things are hard, where I
feel like maybe I should just go find another job, just because something didn't go my way
or I'm catching flack for somebody else's shortcomings or whatever and that's not fair.
The reality is, if you want to be great in life, if you want to be really good in life,
you have to be able to take situations like that and push through them.
You're either going to be willing to do what it takes or you're not.
You're either going to just roll over and die or you're going to step up.
Because the question that my boys asked me this week was, coach, why do we have to practice
when it's cold outside?
The part that you didn't see in the clips this week was the reason that we have to practice
when it's cold is because others won't.
Because that's what separates good from great.
Good people, they're inherently good.
You can be really good at your job, honestly, sometimes without very much effort.
Sorry, passed a dump truck there.
You can be really good at your job without too much effort in a lot of cases.
You can go through the motions, as they say.
Most people would probably consider you whatever they would call good at your job.
If you want to be great, you've got to be able to push through those times where you
don't feel like doing it.
It's one of those things that I know every dad that's listening right now is saying,
yeah, that's exactly what we need to be teaching our kids.
For those of us who either didn't grow up with a dad or had an absentee father or whatever,
sometimes we have to learn these things on our own.
It's not an excuse just to say, well, I didn't have a dad.
I'm excused from having to overcome these things.
That is the way it is and that is forever the way it shall be.
You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself all you want.
Your kids are watching.
They're watching how dad handles these types of weeks where maybe he doesn't feel 100%.
Maybe he doesn't feel well.
Maybe he's had a rough week at work.
Maybe he's had to put in some overtime.
Maybe he's had to work late.
Maybe he's had to go in early.
Maybe all of the above.
Your kids are not stupid.
They are absorbing every single thing that they see you do.
How does dad handle that situation?
Does he just get mad and come home and start yelling at everybody?
Does dad lock himself in the room because he just can't handle it?
Does he neglect mom?
Does he neglect dad?
I mean, not dad, excuse me, I'm dad.
Does he neglect mom?
Does he neglect the kids?
Does he leave everything that needs to be done around the house to his partner and his
kids?
I mean, I can tell you right now, it ain't going to be easy.
You're not always going to feel like it, but you got to push through.
Not saying I'm an expert.
I'm just saying what I see.
I'm talking about things that I feel like maybe I've messed up in the past.
Maybe I could have done better.
Maybe one of you can benefit from this.
Maybe this is something that if I can just reach one, I can just reach one of you guys.
That sounds like a whole nother podcast for me to do because I've got, that just sparked
something in my head.
You have no idea, but seriously guys, back on topic here.
Your kids are watching how you handle your tough weeks because they're having tough weeks
too.
They are looking for validation and permission to do exactly what you do whenever times get
hard, whenever they go to school and they have a problem there.
Maybe they're not having success with their homework or maybe they're not very good at
math or maybe they're reading or they're writing is suffering.
All they've ever seen mom or dad do when they come home and they've had a bad day or maybe
they've had a struggle of some sort is they lock themselves in their room and close themselves
off.
They don't ever ask for help.
They don't do their diligence.
They don't do whatever it takes.
They're absorbing all of it.
They're like little sponges.
They are 100% the products of our actions and reactions to how we handle our lives day
in and day out.
Build confident kids.
How do we do that?
We do that by doing our best to do the right thing and acknowledging when we don't do the
right thing.
Kids are watching guys.
Every single little thing.
What happens when your kid gets bullied at school and he doesn't want to say anything
and he sees mom or dad come home from their tough day and start yelling at the other spouse
and maybe start yelling at the kids.
Am I touching a nerve yet?
I hope so.
Because I hope you realize that what I'm saying is that coming home and acting out on emotion
on long days or tough days is not the answer.
We're still dads.
We're still parents.
They want to see what they're supposed to do.
They don't know to ask what do I do when I've got a bully at school that's bothering me,
dad.
What do I do whenever I don't know how to do something at school and it's embarrassing
to me, dad.
They want to see how you do it and then they're going to go do it.
That's what they want.
Kids are visual learners.
They mimic us.
Always keep that in mind.
So guys, slow things down when you have your rough days or rough weeks.
You're not always going to get it perfect, but you're always going to have the opportunity
to slow things down maybe after the fact or if you're that on top of things, maybe you
can do it as it's happening and correct yourself and just correct yourself with your kids.
Just be like, look, dad's had a really rough week and he didn't really handle things the
right way whenever he came home on Monday.
This is not how you respond to resistance.
This isn't how you respond to tribulation.
This is what I should have done.
This is how I should have handled it.
I think it's worth giving them an apology.
So just my take on that, guys.
I think that for the most part, a lot of people do this and they don't even realize it.
They come home and they act out and they forget that little eyes and little ears are watching
and listening at all times.
So always, always, always do your due diligence.
Slow down.
Think things out.
Be logical.
That's the gift that God gave us as males.
I'll say it again.
That is the gift that God gave us as males is we are able to apply a logical analysis
of the situation.
So slow things down.
Talk it out.
Get it right.
That's all that matters is that we get it right and that our kids know that we got it
right.
All right, guys.
That's all I've got for today.
This was Windshield Talk where we listened to me basically do a podcast while I'm on
the road driving home from work.
Really appreciate you guys listening.
Again, be sure to share this with all your friends.
Check us out on all your favorite podcasting platforms.
Give us a follow.
Give us a good review, a like if that's all a thing, whatever.
Really appreciate you guys and I will see you all next time.