Welcome to the podcast.
It's spooky season.
All you listeners out there.
Happy Halloween,
student be Halloween. This is the polarized podcast.
Welcome in.
Sit down and get ready for a rip of a movie.
Today we are talking about splice.
OK, sorry, I was getting getting an image off my real quick.
My bad.
Yeah, splice. We're talking splice.
Hey, but you know what?
Why we're talking about splice is because this is a podcast
about polarizing movies and polarizing movies in the sense
of rock tomato scores event.
Sometimes critics love it and audiences hate it or vice versa.
And those are the movies that we talk about on this podcast.
Spooky season.
We're talking splice.
I am your host Brandon Stables and I would like to introduce.
My cohost or affectionately referred to as forever guest.
Mr. James Lindsay, how's it going?
I'm the forever guest on this journey of life.
I'm a forever guest on this podcast of polarizing movies.
It's my baby.
It's my favorite podcast.
I just.
Yeah, it seems like you're on here.
Now I'm going to mess around.
Yeah, I come back.
And I just I just like to be here.
It feels good.
You're like haunting this podcast.
Oh, if I could haunt somewhere,
I would hope that it would be a positive haunting experience.
And I hope my time here as the forever guest has been a friendly
ghost experience for as well.
Hell, yeah.
It's I forever friendly ghost ghost and guest or close.
I don't know.
James, a K.A.
Casper, a K.A.
The friendly ghost, a K.A.
Forever guest, a friendly guest, the friendly guest.
Oh, there we go.
I love it.
That's me.
Well, the friendly guest.
Do you think season, man?
You think the splice monster would come back as a ghost?
No, and if it did, do you think it would be a friendly, a
friendly presence like Casper?
Oh, Dren.
Okay.
So we Dren the malintentioned creature creature ghost.
Yes.
I guess there hasn't been too much of that.
Like there's been like creature features.
Has there been like ghosts of creatures?
Is that been a thing?
I don't think so.
I don't usually right.
It's usually people, right?
It's usually people who are ghosts and have like, I don't know.
Probably people would say like spirits or something.
I was going to say.
I don't know.
That's what I'm glad you brought that up.
That's what I was going to ask you.
Point blank right off the top, right off the rip.
Do you think the splice creature has a soul James?
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Absolutely.
We're sitting in ways that we will never understand as the movie, I think is very clear is we're
just not going to understand this and we just keep trying to keep trying to control it.
Well, we can't do either.
We can't we can't fool understand.
We can't control, but those patents are coming and we're going to, we're going to splice the
splice monster and see what we can get out of her.
And it was a hand at the end.
Yeah.
It's a whole nother rapid changes.
Yeah.
It's a splice of life.
It's a splice of life story.
You know, just a real coming of age tale.
Yes.
Coming of age.
Yeah.
As a splice creature.
Adrian Brody really came of age as well.
Oh man, he comes off as like such a like trying really hard to be an early 30s guy, like a
little too hard.
I just the aesthetic of this movie and the costumes for the two main characters are so
funny to me.
I couldn't.
It's a very open time.
I think so.
But in a terrible way where like, you know, they're having some, I was so confused.
I'm glad that you brought up, you know, a level of not understanding that this movie
operates in because I feel like I just got bonked over the head of majority of this movie
because I just found myself being like, why are we doing this?
And wait a minute.
Who is like, what is the, what's the point of this?
And it just really doesn't answer any of those questions because it's more in my mind
by the end of it.
It's like, right, it's just solely about this creature becoming more of a monster and everything
outside of that that would frame, you know, kind of larger questions, which the trailer
we watch going into this, you know, presents this movie as being like, you know, they're
breaking moral boundaries, ethical boundaries, you know, they're really pushing, you know,
yeah, kicking the door down on the establishment and there is an heir to that in the costuming
for Adrian Brody and what's her face?
That's holy.
I mean, man, it just, it couldn't give a fuck less about what's going on, you know,
at broader picture or what is happening with in relation to how this would affect society.
All of it's so gobbledygook nonsense.
I just something about patents on animal feed.
I like I couldn't make heads or tails of like this.
There's this movie has two projects, quote unquote projects that nerd the science company
is, you know, it has created for a, yeah, for a created it for all created it.
Yeah.
And the net and the net tunes, it's both great.
Yeah.
The comedy just really didn't work for me.
Did you, did you find that stuff funny where it was like so on the nose?
Like the fact that the monsters names Dran, the name of the company being nerd.
There was also like, again, the clothes and the shit that they were saying, like, in their apartment,
like, there's no comedy to be had for me.
And I mean, you kind of started this, there's so much to talk about with this movie.
So it's, it's hard to just nail it, like start and just stay on one point.
But you mentioned Adrian Brody's costuming.
And I think, I mean, that's a good place to start from because at the beginning, beginning of this movie,
they are portraying these two scientists as fucking rockstar fucking against the system sort of way, like scientists, which I don't know.
Does it doesn't make sense?
You see as the time goes on in the movie that it doesn't, it doesn't really make sense if they're just like, yeah, fuck, you know,
rules and the scientific method because we're rock stars.
It's like, well, I don't know if that's how you should be doing things.
But they are portraying them as like cool with their costuming, with the music that's playing as they're doing things,
with the montage of when they finally leave their company not to jump ahead.
But that their music that's playing when they go off and rebel and do their own science in their own little makeshift lab,
along with their all of the, the trappings of the up, they have like a sticker on their fucking incubator or whatever the fuck.
They were like one of their pieces of equipment.
I think is what it's called.
Yeah, like some stick and like they're playing records and, you know, like it's telling you that these people are cool and they're fighting a system
that is evil and trying to take advantage of people when in fact that yeah, they're doing just that and none of that is said in the movie.
It's just more like corrupt way.
It's, it's the language of the music and the costuming and how it's at the beginning mainly is how they're portraying him and as time goes on.
I don't know.
It's it starts to let that allure kind of in the in that veil kind of come down a bit.
But by that time, it's just I am already at odds with how the movie feels about itself that I'm not willing to come back around by the end because yeah, just right off the bat, both of these characters are awful people and I do not care for them and I don't care for their choices.
And they are infuriating to watch and go along with like the in the entire movie.
It's incredible how like unlikeable both of them are.
Yeah, also, the their relationship is confounding, to say the least, because there is these power dynamics between the two of them that don't make any sense like where at times somebody will stand up for themselves.
And at other times they'll just completely go along or be really like needing the other to agree with them instead of yeah, it's extremely toxic and then it but then it's also within the movie just illogical because they will argue about things like he'll she'll hold him to a standard about
the Dren that he doesn't live up to he fucks up she gets mad and then he tries to do better. He kind of does and then she goes back on her word a little bit and does almost exactly what he was going to do.
And then he gets mad at her for doing what he was originally doing himself. And so it's just this like constantly nagging each other and a little bit of gaslighting and a little bit of like toxicity between like their relationship. But that's like the lease of their concerns when they're the implications,
their implications of what they're doing is so vast. And for them to be so fucking petty with each other about bullshit for this to play out really really like like they weren't ready for parenthood and they're getting for it now.
And so the way at times is like, you mentioned humor and it's like there is like almost a weird sick or like this is a dark nuts. I don't know. Yeah, there's actually it is pretty fucked up and sick but there's a dark when it does work well maybe a dark humor like I can think maybe
and I'm not laughing at this point but maybe it's irony at the very least which is when like those they're too little blob creatures destroy each other in front of everybody at like a it's that in itself and I were just kind of jumping around maybe we should go through some plot elements but that
in itself was like the most horrific moment of and the most visceral and gory and horrific I'd say of in the classic sense of the word moment of the movie that actually kind of worked before we go into all the things that go into a different version of horror for me which does
not necessarily work and just makes me cringe out of my skin and to not want to ever like open my eye. Wow. I had some of that. I don't know. So some of this is just like, Why is this happening? Can we please stop? Please stop. Please stop. And then it just keeps going. And yeah, but yeah, we can really back in.
I was going to go back to our segment that we did an ep or two ago of asking what are you watching over there?
Oh, glad you brought it up man.
You're already kind of jumping over some broad strokes of this shit.
It is one of those movies that yeah,
it's a new segment and we're jumping at the bit to talk about it but so both of those things working in tandem. That's why we're getting to a nail but I'm glad you brought it up and I'll be good about making sure we do that when I intro the pod. I liked it last time.
It was fun.
Yeah.
What am I watching? Okay, so the thing that I'm watching that I watched that was I just truly, truly, truly enjoyed was I finished all of the fall of the House of Usher.
Oh, you finished it. Wow.
I'm not going to do it. I consumed the hell out of it.
I literally were big Flana fans were Flana fans over here.
As we said on our Oculus app, go check it out.
Yeah.
That show is wonderful. It is. It has a lot of characters and a lot of them are.
They're built out enough to when they have their whole like arc and whatnot. There's a lot of like satisfying scary and interesting stuff that happens in that television show and I could not recommend it enough.
Cool.
I've been watching it for a while since I've just devoured a TV show and it is so perfect in that. Yes, each episode is about an hour long, but there's only in the whole series. I want to see there's eight or nine episodes.
Yeah, I think it's like in total.
Yeah, I'm on high just like three. Yeah, big fan of that structure of like this is it's there's not going to be a season two. It's just this is the whole, you know, package and this is the story that it's trying to tell.
And it goes beginning to end on that of what it's trying to say and it's amazing. And I would definitely recommend.
I can't wait to finish it all the all the flannigan stuff is always something that I get excited when it comes around and it seems to happen every October on Netflix.
I think his deal with them might be wrapped up with this. But you know, whatever he does next time, definitely going to show up for and anyone who's been around this podcast long enough has heard us become bigger and bigger fans of horror.
And as a genre and been trying to understand and navigate it in a way that figure, I don't know for me. And I'm sure you can relate. We're trying to figure out our own tastes within that genre.
There's enough time that has gone on that there are subdivisions within, you know, the broader scope of it all.
And and I mean even speaking of which this one should be right up my alley, but it just, yeah, talk about how I feel.
And what I've been watching.
Yeah, so still working on Hunter Hunter and anime that is been pretty great and pretty long and so just been working through it casually.
Fiona and cake has been good. I need to I need to finish that. But that one's been good on on Max.
And I think that's kind of the, you know, kind of expanding out the Adventure Time Universe and I like those little kind of hour long specials that they had with was I think there was one with like Marceline and then be bemo.
Which is so cool to have a whole, you know, little thing about a side character and then the Fiona and cake thing. Yeah, it works within like kind of a multiverse thing and in a way more interesting funny cool adventure time sort of way.
Yeah, I we're both huge fans of blank check on on this podcast.
So doing doing the going back through some, some Finchman stuff.
Big Doe voice fans obviously if anyone got the Finchman part but yeah, fucking zodiac and panic room and the in the game and is kind of where where I've been spending some time and just, I think zodiac is one that
could plot me down in front of at any time and I'd not be happy just to sit through Jill and Hall and ruffle ruffle low just quizzically just looking in and figuring out mysteries and trying to understand it and
I don't know I just I eat it up. It's got such a rhythm to it that the two and a half hour runtime just kind of blows blows by for me and I think yeah Benjamin Button will be my next one which is another kind of comfort food movie for me it puts me in a
mood and I like being there for like an extended period of time I know it's going to be a longer movie and I can sit sit in it and those I don't know those kind of movies. I think we all have some version of what's a version
what's a movie like that for you I mean I'm sure some future movies for you but is there like a longer movie that you're just so you've seen a bunch of times. You know maybe a weekend sort of day and kind of sit down and and just consume it
I know we're big bond bond fills that requirement a lot of the time but when it comes to Finchies I mean social network is a pretty long movie and it's whenever that's on there's just always really interesting parts about it that kind of you know
weirdly yeah like you're saying is kind of relaxing the pace that movie the colors in the movie the dialogue all of it is just so yeah there's a rhythm has a rhythm and a cadence and it's always kind of meditated like almost mesmerizing
it is because everybody is saying the coolest shit because of because of Sorcan and it's just fun to hear people talk in a way that's like and everybody is so intelligent and so smart and saying all the coolest and right stuff and it yeah I don't know provides a level of comfort that just washes over me so I would say that and then yeah I mean
we're both girls with dragon tattoo fans you know there's there's a scene that I've seen it enough at this point where I'll just fast forward through it absolutely yeah just move on you want to yeah once you see it it's so shocking that you can just once you see it start you can
skip over and be like all feels still kind of the remnants of what that was trying to do because yeah you don't need to see it multiple times to know how that goes down sort of like this movie except the whole movie
yep I oh okay good nice segue yeah let's get into the whole thing but they I mean but speaking of that scene there are essentially two scenes of that in this movie I consider that Adrian Brody scene with her to the be like him taking advantage for her in a lot of ways but
and then the one with you know with Sarah Pauly but yeah it just there's two of those Sarah Pauly one is very very very crazy yeah it's this movie let's get into it so what do we want to say have you seen that you haven't seen this movie before right I had not this is your first time and my only time was it was yeah and I was 20 2009 I was living in our neck of the woods
where we grew up I moved back home and I went out to the movies with our friends you know Dylan our friend Dylan was a projector you were a projector for a bit at a time at the movie theater and I would just kind of when I was broke roll up there and he let me in and I'd be able to watch movies and that was that was nice and I catch him on a
smoke break and we smoke a cigarette hang on you know I'm just going to watch Predators or something I think that came out around this yeah I was pretty good another Adrian Brody but this one was one we all sat down and watch together was like me Dylan I think Garrett was there this is just me and Brandon people talking about you know good people like good good people to watch a movie with but we was really just us yeah and it was late
night showing just us in the theater and one other older man that was like sitting like a row behind us by himself and as the movie went on and we were all just like oh Diltoro hell yeah let's let's fucking sign up for this because I mean Dylan for sure was big movie buff and Garrett himself was an actor and in his own way and
by the end of the movie we were just blown away we're all looking at each other just vocal being very vocal about what the fuck was going on the other guy behind us was like our essentially our buddy by the end of just kind of like can you believe these I know I can't this is insane at what's going on we're all just you know I just remember there was a palpable feeling walking out of the movie theater that I wasn't sure if it was going to hold up this this viewing because I had built it up built it up so much in my mind of being a batshit movie
that I wasn't sure if it would I'm like oh maybe it's not actually that maybe it's good it's certified fresh 75% by critics on on on tomatoes so this time around I'm like maybe I was wrong maybe I was fucking wrong and no it lived up and
every every amount of batshit that I thought it's good yeah and then some I cannot believe this shit exists it's such a gross and disgusting movie like yeah there's some like I'm like I'm like I try to be like okay put it in the frame of
mind of that like especially the little weird blob creatures and stuff or some of that that's like this does feel a little Cronenberg of fucking with like genealogy and like creating this thing and sure but the direction that it goes is not worth it and ends up yeah being something that is being sensationalist with the philosophical questions that it poses rather than
handling those questions delicately it like shows them in your face and does it in a way that's like it's it's not I don't know it's taking all the it's taking all the Freudian stuff and just like put it right in your fucking face instead of that being like subconscious or anything like that or any sort of like
ooh there's some weirds it's just like no this shit's just going on and like it just there's some of the stuff that could be handled with some subtlety and it removes all of that and makes it over the top in ways that are not satisfying but just upsetting and gross and
not horrific in in a satisfying way from somebody that's yeah maybe a little newer to the genre but this this brand of of horror the close what else would you compare it with this movie like I was thinking Cronenberg with some of those little blob creatures and some of that shit and the practical
effects there yeah I mean it operates kind of like a monster movie right you know it's all about trying to contain Frank yeah it's like Frankenstein yeah yeah I would say it's you know that were the real monsters that's what it would like to be but you know obviously it is yeah it doesn't
Dr. Morell a little bit the relationship between the creator and the creature well at all it doesn't have an interesting point of view and it and because it doesn't have an interesting point of view the way that it puts all of the pieces together to try to formulate an
an assemblance of like progression into the monster growing up and its creators have to deal with all of those steps and that like maturity I guess you could say are suck they're awful they're just I know they make poor choices all the time where I was watching similarly
at my place with with our buddy Nick who's been on the pod and my roommate and the whole time that's good you had people around I wish I had someone to look to and be like I looked at my cats and they're and they just look back at you wanting food yeah the only time they're
interested was Lion King I was the only time yeah right oh man you covered their little eyes when that cat got killed don't even get me started I mean luckily it yeah it wasn't as gruesome as it as it could have been it really looked like the cat had rolled over and they just put a little CGI
tail and sticking its neck and then cat was just like I just want some belly scratches yeah at least I told myself I believe that dude that cat was cute that cat was cute was the splice monster cute to you ever
no no my because it just started yeah those noises at all yeah no yeah no there's no there's nothing upsetting it's upsetting it's all wholly upsetting and and theoretically the only reason that and this is so stupid to say out loud is like the reason that
spoiler alert Adrian Brody flux the creature is because it's trying the language of the film is trying to communicate that it is like sending off pheromones and it has features of Sarah Pauli exactly right so that is so he's kind of being manipulated into it because she's
needing to reproduce see I look at it I look at that is that is it I didn't think of the fair her pheromones or anything sort of that I was looking at it and like a different way of like this this time around I guess I don't remember how I felt last time I was probably just like what the fuck
this way this time I was like he is taking advantage of her oh really this point like she in my mind I'm like I still I mean she's in terms of her growth cycle I guess she's matured enough as a woman creature or whatever but like the age
discrepancy and in what I was is just like he's got this fucking creature locked in a fucking barn he is the as all the power and he chooses off low bill like he chooses to yeah and I just I looked at that situation of him
raping her essentially sorry like Stockholm oh yeah we'll just sexually assaulting her as as the creature does to Sarah Pauli later like I just that's how I viewed that situation and it was extremely upsetting that it started with like fun happy dancing and music I almost like
I remember the first time I saw Spider-Man 3 where you just got not that I not this is may way worse but I remember being caught so caught off guard by like oh Toby McGuire is dancing now what I did not expect this but at this point
right yeah and the movie like a dreamboating her or in the fight the thing had just attacked her and she had removed its tail like things are fucking dire and he walks in and is like let's have some fun we've been too stressed out yeah and let's
fuck like it's it's crazy man that like the the pacing and tonal shifts of this movie have a language that I cannot put my finger on whose mind is coming out of rather than like yeah like a it's a little Tim Burton II I guess when I think
of like Adrian Brody's outfit and everything it's from the mind of del Toro a little or the produce production production mind of del Toro but Adrian Brody for the conference is dressed like a shitty Tim Burton knockoff character or something
and he's got like this shitty like metallic silver tie and this black kind of stripes you and this emo hair he's all got this like emo got hair the whole whole movie as well.
Yeah, I mean it's to the extent of which I found just incredibly comical that even their lab codes have like anti establishment or like punkish buttons and like patches on it because you know just to get across that these are renegade
scientists and music when he's driving in his car like there's a moment where they're fucking monster of a creature is banging against the walls and in order to do that he turns on the radio to some rock and roll and one of the lab
assistants looks back and it's like fuck yeah hell yeah turn it up it's like who are these people absolutely rock and roll fucking scientists and it's just such a bummer too because those characters exist for those brief moments in the movie but there is almost none of them in the actual
movie like there that that punk rock guy who doesn't really talk or do anything in the movie yeah he could have easily have been a character the brother of Adrian brody such a way yeah such a fucking waste just such a waste of a character like him the whole time like that
no you like there's absolutely that the movie is missing a scene where Adrian Brody and his brother which it does exist in the movie but it's so bad the scenes are there yeah but there's no follow through there's no follow through because there should be a really interesting
conversation between the brother and Adrian Brody about what's going on and the ramifications of it and there's it is so hollow or shallow because all it is is like don't do that I'm well you don't you don't know anything well don't do that and that's the extent of it
just tell me about that secret experiment that you have going on and he hears like noises that wouldn't be made from any other creature in the world and the other room and banging and they're missing shifts or whatever and they missed like the sex change of one of their little blob creatures and all this shit and
they like they fail on every front these characters they fail on the thing that they should have just been had doing the whole time which I get that's part of the narrative shift in the movie and I iron you and losing their funding so they can't even do either but it's just so there's nothing to cling on to
this movie and I can actually and I and I get that the best comparison that could be made is to Frankenstein and the messaging within that movie holds true you know and in terms of that such an amazing story and the implications of creating life in that way
but this one what it's driving home is just I don't know it just more like what you can do with it rather than the end end product of like the end of end of your story the care for characters the respect that you place on on the characters and the
and the dignity that you give them and the monster themselves itself and then the accountability for those characters like they give them a couple characters they give them the brother we mentioned the is it the project manager
yeah essentially with the beard I would see you as the woman right I think she is the executive so she's money and then the guy is like so you you're saying a manager which is that's essentially what I'm like yeah I mean yeah
and I got in the I thought she was like CEO of the company or whatever sure and it's better to say it that way we're like yeah there's this guy who is their boss and then there's this money person and they are the business side of any R.D.
And again, like I just have such a huge problem with I don't understand what they're really doing that businesses like what is the goal in having that you know shareholder meeting where I just was
laughing so hard Michael Crichton story or something continue I guess but like it I was laughing so hard because I'm like why would you even do this you would you would just show a video of it and why would you bring the monsters in there
it happens out of nowhere to there's no build up for that at all like right there's not like a countdown we got to get to yeah I hate it doesn't tell you what it needs you to know and it just goes into these these places and
something that can be said for that though we're like and I want to touch on this in some sort of way we're like this is a bad movie this is not a good movie however there is some sort of entertaining quality to this that
qualifies it as like a so bad it's good sort of situation at times if you like it to go through the whole process of watching it I cannot say I would recommend that to anyone to anyone to have this movie to share it with anybody
even talking about it almost seems like a human centipede sort of thing or like you could tell them what happens in the movie that's almost as good as you don't even need to see you be like yeah they like create this creature and then it you know they have sex with it
that could be enough to be like yeah dude because you can tell someone like that's what that movie is and then it's like and it's up to them to be like do I need to see that but going into a dry especially in the movie theater for me was something that was almost yeah it was kind of
unforgettable and and but yeah I just wanted to say that little piece of like there is some sort of propelling quality to this movie where it doesn't slow down it doesn't ask why and how for all the wrong reasons it's very bad for that reason but also it maintains this pace
like they are in they like right off the bat they're creating these blob monsters they're successful in their minds but they don't get the funding to go the next step further so they're just going to chop them up for parts get the pants for the whatever it's so generalized
like so it's so just like swept under of like and within one meeting so much is just decided of like cool you're successful we need the pants for this shit you guys are done so so just finish it up and then it puts them in this place where they got to create this creature and I feel like within the
half half first half hour or less 20 minutes like the creatures created they've left like this their main gig or like they're the wrapping that up and you're kind of just like on for the ride but it just goes to places that you never wanted to go to as well and it's gross it's just
disgusting yeah and it picks up a little bit at that at that conference almost for me where it's just kind of like let's let's see some fucking like horror because like this is I don't know and I'm sorry I'm just ranting a little bit but we brought up the brother and the other dude
there are the they are the two deaths in this movie they are the two deaths which one do you prefer it's like they're the same fucking thing they just get taken away into nowhere the one guy gets hang on a tree and then the brother just gets taken off he's gone
yeah you don't get to see him you see all this like build up of like oh this creature has all these abilities as this tail that grows back and it's growing wings it can go underwater it's like cool like set it loose in the fucking woods and have them fucking deal with it for a bit
predator style or something yeah no it swoops them both up done so and then it just goes right to fucking
ah that's I don't like it I don't yeah it really upset it is so egregious how little the makers and writers of this movie understand like what
the system is that they're trying to make a commentary on because it really has no idea what it means to run a biotech company what are the implications of the creations that they make there and how does that you know how is that representative of corporate greed of
you know maybe dated morals and philosophies when it comes to yeah but they combine those which is it's so like it's so backwards sorry to cut you up like the corporate greed and everything like they represent that but then they also
almost represent the moral high ground of like you should not be doing this but then they represent represent like moral just bankruptcy with agent Brody and and so it's so that no one comes out on top everyone fucking sucks and by the end
capitalism kind of capitalism kind of wins or whatever I guess where they fucking like we're gonna get the patents anyways and doesn't matter yeah all of this whole movie doesn't matter and that's kind of how it ends itself is like
realistic I guess yeah very which is punk rock but then it does what does it feel about the main characters because it likes them at the beginning they put rock music and shit and then there's no point where it's like give us someone to root for give us the brother to root for
against them if they're if they're so bad like it never gives us any hope to be like oh there's a way out here yeah absolutely I just because I really I wish this movie had a point where you know maybe Dren was on their side because
they had for a just brief time reconciled their motives you know Clive and Elsa you know reconcile they're like you know kind of a growth as a team because they were a little you know especially the start of this very like don't do this let's do it and
add odds with each other and it would have been nice if it would have reached a head where they're both in the same page of loving or taking care of or appreciating the creature and being in control of the creature because of their joint collective like
parenting or whatever and then set the creature loose on like you know the money person or like the corporate people and they kind of have dammit Brandon you know right like yeah that sounds cool I like that I don't know are more of an
active participant in rectifying the problem which the movie presents is well corporations don't care about new scientific discoveries they just care about making money off things and if we want to do something interesting
then we have to do it on our own but like none of that is ever addressed really and it just makes this movie endlessly frustrating because it just is I would honestly argue interesting in that it is a movie that percents a bunch of ideas and
follow through on none of them you know it just yeah so it just leaves you going like I yeah I feel like I could take a pass on this script and and like plus it up no problem because you're like there was a this doesn't work you don't do anything
with this another thing too is this stuff with Elsa's like pass with her mother oh my god that was so so doesn't care like it doesn't care about that stuff and that's genuinely important it was almost interesting yeah right because it wants to say the reason that you
know hey here's kind of a reveal towards like once the second act is really kicking off of like the reason that you wanted dren in the first place is because of how poor her relationship with her mother is so she wants to have this creature
not only for scientific discovery and f you to the corporations but also for filling a hole inside of her so fast that you know that her mother left there and but she ends up being just as worse as her mother and when the movie should start to really really
really kick into high gear and be like she is now recognizing she's being like her mother and she needs to do something about that to correct that or not or give into the fact you know life is a cycle and the traumas of our parents get passed on to us and it's up to us to rectify
whether or not we want to get over that and it all that happens in that which blew me away is it's it brings up the fact that the house exists it mentions that her mother like locked her away there did something fucked up to her there and then she gets very frustrated with dren not listening
ends up acting like her mother and being scolding punishing dren all of that and then all that happens is we don't see anything off screen real or on screen all of this happens off screen and she just comes back with the cat and goes I thought about it you know yeah that shifts
that was rough and I was she was attacked and and you know there was there was that moment of her getting attacked but her shift of character was there's a lot missing with her and everything that you're expressing right now makes me think that there's a version where she is the main character of this movie
and I think maybe that's something that could have helped it a bit not to say that there's a perfect version or that anything would have worked completely but the attention that it like is given to Adrian Brody
and he could be more you know auxiliary sort of character as her mother stuff and everything is explored a little bit more and drives her to a point of being a true antagonist in a way and and trying like there's this
their goals and motivations shift like every scene in this movie and they're they are combative against each other and and you know dren at different points and their trio is constantly shifting their dynamic and everything and maybe there's an interesting version of that too
but there's just nothing driving the wants and needs of these characters besides like just as long as they can push it or it seems like they're just held hostage by their narrative that is being placed upon them rather than them coming to their own conclusions because that was the second most
part and I'm not I'm not sure there's parts of this where I'm not sure how they're playing at the movie how it again like how it feels about about itself but the smile that Sarah Polly gives with the Barbie as she presents it to Dren
I was like laughing but also scared at the same time I was like oh because she's like this is my just like her smile and the candlelight or like the dim light was just like really intense and there was some of that stuff that was like
that was like weird out of it what's that like what she says about yeah because she's like I wasn't allowed to have Barbie so this is my secret Barbie which is like you you're you know you're a secret Barbie and there's some of that whoa
some weird stuff that could work but then there's a lot of weird stuff that really doesn't so I don't know how to decipher this it must have been interesting for them to work on this because it seems like they were able to do what they wanted in terms of the narrative because I just can't believe that they
would go to the places that they went to with this I and I can't I can't decipher the critics rating and why they like it so much
but man I I feel like we've gone through a lot of a lot of big beats of it. I'm trying to think like the like Dren's growth and her as a as an idea as a concept there like some interesting ideas there like in terms of like the blobs and how they
like show their their like fauna or like their weird like things to me or whatever like there's some of that stuff that's like again like Cronenberg weird and kind of like oh interesting cool like I don't know I don't know should I like those I feel weird
idea but it's maybe I'm a freak to let's get into it and then it just gets yeah beyond beyond that not fun anymore.
Yeah but just you're talking for anybody who hasn't seen it you're talking about something that happens within like five minutes of the movie.
Yeah and then I mean well yeah I like when they kill each other to this little I like the little blob things.
What was it Fred and ginger I think is what I think I put on my notes or something but yeah I mean the movies I mean I'll go through some of my notes here I feel like we've we've kind of got through the big big beats of it all we can go into
some reviews but the movie starts with the POV of being born that is how the movie starts that is a bold choice.
Old choice is a bold fucking choice like it's going through this whole introduction of like the opening credits and the credits are like grooves on the online veins of like
I was going to say like production cards fit the theme of the movie which is a very fun concept. Yeah you don't see that because it typically starts with like X-rays of toes.
Typically production companies have their own like company logo card whatever but all of these production companies were put into this like it's got to be X-ray genealogy stuff.
Like hey I mean if we're going to do this together we got to from square one be in on the on the vibe vibe check and when you walk in the door.
Fred and ginger.
My question are we on the scientist side why are they portraying them as cool science montage.
I clocked this at the moment because I'd seen it before when she presents the DNA for Dren they are playing that kind of bad ass music and
they're like oh it's just Jane Doe dime a dozen but one in a million is how they describe her and I was like if I were to give the movie credit I'd be like oh maybe they're playing this music just to kind of shuffle away a little bit of the process of like you don't question what the DNA is you don't question what they're really doing
and then the twist maybe works a bit I mean it's shitty you know disillusion from from a shitty magician in terms of movie making and everything but trying to throw you know a little distraction so that people don't question of like oh yeah where are they getting this DNA and it just made me think of young Frank and
sign where it's like oh yeah so where where are they getting this DNA someone named Abby Abby Abby normal I wasn't your hope on the other side what up.
Oh get it so so that gets to the heart of the problem for me is that I do think this movie has this comedic. Yeah, like a gender to it like wanting this movie to punk rock.
You know, it's yeah something that you can laugh at words they're like edge words. Yeah, but it just doesn't come off that way and I felt about that is I would have really loved a description about what genes were going into it so that throughout the movie it could have been more of a fun like which
which gene is coming out right now or whatever and like you can have more of a clear delineation of like oh this is the you know.
No they're just as lost as we are Brandon they have no idea.
I tried to drown her and then ends up like saving saving her.
You totally knew that was going to happen right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is right is supposed to be funny and it just comes off as very very no I don't even if it was going to be funny.
It further frustrates me about the characters in this movie, because yes he's trying to hide it.
But then he follows through on that like he had in a moment like I do want to kill Dren.
And he attempts to follow through it doesn't work but then he just fucking chickens out there like he's such a fucking like cuck-ass little stinky.
This is the most heated and you've ever been.
I just hate like that's a strong move to try to fucking kill Dren and then like you don't fall you don't follow through on it and then when like you get called out for it.
You're just chicken out and don't mess up to it and then you try to have and then you have sex with it like fuck these characters man like they just.
It's awful like it's fucked up like he's like lies and then takes advantage like they both do and they just are constantly trying to look out for themselves and they backstab each other and no one is is coming out on top and the brother backstabs them trying to be the righteous one and then
immediately gets taken out for it in an unsatisfying way.
And then the end and then the ending you know has a nice that has a nice little like.
I'm into it I guess for a horror in terms of horror movie logic but then it's also fucking weird. I'll go through the rest of my notes, I guess there's a moment where like they're trying to pump each other up about how did how to work through a problem and I forget exactly what the why like Adrian Brody's having a problem it's like why would we be doing it this way or like why would we try so hard and and she goes because wired doesn't
have you losers and that's why we're doing this we are doing this like they're fucking they're like even their self righteousness doesn't come across and isn't followed through and then their vanity isn't followed through on either they're just what the script needs at each moment like is what the line will say and it
doesn't meet their character her tick is a what is a tack her tick is a tack.
She's tick tax for tick. I get it. Okay, got it. Yeah.
That was just I was just like rolling my eyes out of my head at that point because they were trying to figure that I know there's a moment where they have an issue with the science montage and she's like what do we do I just got a way and then they're like tapping their foot you know.
Yeah. And they're not they can't be actual tic-tac so they're this some knockoff lightning label and I was like what are the what the fuck is she eating. That's right. There's no label on it.
It's like some I'm like because how can be beans that these are actual tic-tacs like these are wackadoo characters that are tic-tacs all this mood saw the script and it was like fuck no.
Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. Could you imagine that would be hard pass immediately. That's going to be new Reese's pieces. I swear. Yeah. Your main character fucks a teenager.
You never did that. You never did that. You just taken his body. I don't know. Could you imagine ET grew up grew up five times as fast. Change sexes.
Everyone dances with everyone. Bob fucking Fosse. What's that. Oh the Bob Fosse line was sick. I love that. Yeah. I was like yeah. Yeah. That was a cool line because this dialogue sucks. Yeah. Oh there's a lot of stinkers.
I got a lot of stinkers here. I got two two things in my notes is that this dialogue sucks and I really don't understand a lot of why things are happening and what people are trying to do.
I was literally like this is what else am I going to write down because I just really don't understand why you know why there's these deadline. Why didn't the brother was why couldn't the brother find out if the things had a sex change.
Like what like there's a whole plot point in here that I'm just reeling about being like why did this because like I said I was just totally blown out in competence all around. That's why.
Yeah it just it's a punch of stuff that doesn't make it and then he just gets mad too and then he's just like well why weren't you there. Yeah well no it was your fault. No it was your fault and they just like fucking thread at each other and that's what Adrian Brody and Sarah probably do to each other too and so
it just keeps going around and round and then bad shit happens and no one's held accountable like there was a real lack of accountability in this entire movie no mention of authorities coming in at all just like I mean there was like the threat of like oh no this is people are going to be mad at us if we if we do this Adrian Brody a
little bit and then he would just went out every time he would always say these things and then just like fucking went out and then he get chastised for it and then he'd be like oh well and then she would fuck up and he like well you said we should do that anymore now you're doing it so there yeah
and then he tried to kill it and move on it just blows me away that Guillermo del Toro produced this because I would assume that he would have obviously read the script and been at least part of some of the involvement in the production of this yeah as a guy who made a movie about yeah
a about a child's trauma has made a movie about being in a relationship with a creature that's what I was going to mention was that's that's the the bones of this would carry on to I think in a better much better way the shape of water and
and I think that we've already kind of laid out some of those points earlier on in this discussion of like the reasons why this doesn't work and the reasons why shape of water does is that it's it's it's foreign it's not from her own creation or anything and it's a sense of like trying to
under she just wants to understand and empathize with this creature that no one else has before and all the characters in this movie are trying to take advantage which in shape of water there are those characters to like
like the shape of water and for example yeah yeah for sure and and her character cuts through as someone who just shows a sense of empathy and care for the misunderstood which I think Guillermo del Toro is successful at in his best form and everything but this just has the bad parts and doesn't have anyone to root for
to find the solace and knowing that there's oh even if it doesn't happen even if it is a horror movie ending of like we have this plan we got to enact it and then they try and they fail or like say they and then we're like they
succeed and then they're all happy at the end and then there's that ellipsis of like oh wait there's something more and then you end on that that's fun too but this is like just down and yeah and shape of water has those moments but the messaging is so much more resounding towards
a positive uplifting spirit of the main character and that through and wanting to root for that feeling and the I I'm just flabbergasted and confused and frustrated and annoyed and disgusted and there's like yeah
me too man because it is just it's crazy how glaring of a mistake it is that your main characters are so unlike like that's got to be a problem that a studio would come in or somebody an adult in the room would come in and go hey guys
what I'm seeing is your main characters are not likeable change that please there's no one to root for here you're going to go through a whole movie of like I guess maybe you're rooting for Dren but how could you she's a killer
she's a creature at a bare minimum you'd have to do like in shape of water like go so hard on dren's interaction with people outside of her creator to understand her psyche and her emotions better to maybe paint her in a light that's more empathetic that you could be like you know what I do
I am rooting for Dren but you have none of that so you have a whole movie of people that are huge assholes and pieces of shit that's a huge fucking problem and I don't understand how an adult in the room wasn't like raising their hand being like we have to do something
different here because this is not working sure maybe we don't have the budget to get into you know the inner workings of like the politics of it because obviously you know shape of water does that with Michael Shannon you get a lot of like what the government is trying to do and their involvement what their agenda is and all of the conflict that happens there
but or in like you instill the sense of moral depravity in the two main characters off the bat is another option as well which this time around I would that just completely veers off course right off the beginning that science montage is fucking bullshit and like the only the only way this
movie could maybe work even a little bit better even if it wouldn't completely work is you start off the bat like these two people are bad and you're going to go down a journey of them getting worse because that's essentially what happens but when the movies like tone doesn't fit with that
then you're just left confused and frustrated that in my mind they needed to depict them as fucked up and either make whatever project manager dude or brother somebody that's going to try to alleviate the situation and either fail
and make that the horrific part of it of like oh but at least like this there's someone there that is the light that is trying to do something to to make it better and then failed and then you know all the horror but no like he fails he fucks up at his job he's bad at his job everyone sucks at their job
and everyone is is bad it was at what they're supposed to be doing. Dren is just existing. And so you can't really like feel any sort of way about Dren because Dren is just a Frankenstein's monster.
Which I thought was a really big issue that she ends up figuring out how to talk I think kind of at the oh my god.
But man I really wish that can I. Okay I'll let you reach and listen to that how to talk earlier because we really needed like her opinion on stuff because I just naturally tried to shift to like Dren is you know the
the hero of this movie I guess.
It's the closest thing to yeah what I'm describing as something to root for you know.
Right.
But it's it's just upsetting I think it's it's worth at least experiencing this part even as upsetting as it is but these are the words that Dren does.
What do you want.
Oh God.
Yeah.
No thanks.
I mean she she spells things at at points tedious is one of the words outside with with some of the same letters but.
That is one of the most upsetting things I've ever seen on film ever I'm not I'm not exaggerating it's like the like I was by myself on in my living room just like.
I just want to throw up sending from the screen just like making those noises just like.
And it's not it's I am horrified.
That's the thing like I am horrified but not in an entertains good way not in a way that I would I would commend the makers of this movie and be like you know unless that's exactly what you wanted me to feel.
But damn what's what's going on.
Some of the laws in the stinker.
Why did they say that though Zeppelin crashed and burned before my generation.
And she's like saying Zeppelin crashed and burned because it's a zeppelin like the goopy knife in the mouth when he like puts Adrian knife in his mouth.
They're like oh you know I gotta do that.
There's that one shot with the poster in the bedroom there's like a that poster of like an anime or something looks like it's from Akira I thought it was interesting.
I thought that was cool to yeah it's cool poster but I just couldn't I was like it looks like a Kyria but I don't know.
I think that's the only scene fuck off. Yeah I think yeah I think that whole anytime they'd have to be feeding I think was was just upsetting and not fun.
Barbie scene heroine blood splash zone at the conference everyone in that front row really was part of the splash zone.
Right like just fucking this OK this is the part where like the humor and they intended it to be this way kind of worked on me and not like laughing at it but laughing with it.
Again this whole horrific scene of like the two blobs killing each other it's fucking it's so disgusting and crazy.
Jump cut to silence at the boardroom of them just sitting there with like their head in there.
It's funny it works that works because it's like you guys suck and you're incompetent and you fucked up and you should see a moment of you guys really sitting with that because there's so much of like let's do this now let's do this or angry or mad like there
should be a moment of like resolve like coming to terms with your decisions there's no moment of breathing in this movie at all it's always like and even when they do they decide to dance instead like Adrian Brody or something but a little bit
more breathing a little bit more like because the pace the pace is there for like a shitty fucking unintentionally campy movie but you know why does I can I can figure out why he said this.
Adrian Brody is like sleeping. Oh wait now I realized now I just fucking figured it out is it because because he's sleeping and then it does a slow zoom in on him on the couch and then he whispers with his eyes closed.
Ouch.
And then he wakes up and then he goes into the barn and then I think is that where.
No it's after the dancing I have no idea why he said that do you remember that it was such a weird moment he's napping inside the house and then it zooms in on him as I think sir.
Paul he's gone because she's pissed that he just had sex with with dren it's probably yeah and then it zooms in on his face and then he goes out.
And then what gets up.
It was such a weird thing that sounds like what it was trying to do is there's like a physical connection between the characters so something happened to dren that dren got hurt and he felt it.
It was confounding and an already.
Inside you yeah and then the very ending I just don't I don't understand I mean I guess I do but it's just such a weird thing of like I don't know who this CEO character is and her.
I don't know they've had a couple scenes together the relationship between her and Sarah Polly but right at the end when you find out she's pregnant with a monster dren baby she just slowly goes up behind her and just holds her
shoulders for like two minutes and then that's how the movie ends of like I don't know what this means between that I mean I know that she's like she's like you're my fucking property yeah I get that but right okay maybe I get it just doesn't work
or whatever but because because that character is never explored none of these characters are really filled out in a way that is satisfying this movie is batshit if you haven't heard of it it's splice you've gone this far I'm the forever guest James this is this is my
host Brandon let's let's get into some reviews wouldn't you say or do you need to break her anything.
No we can get into it I mean spoiler alert I've read these reviews because I just I could like immediately was so surprised the critics liked this movie 75%
certified fresh certified.
And I okay I mean even it this is something I kind of like to think about as well as like okay so these are the republicans that gave positive reviews on Ron tomatoes that contribute to that certified fresh.
Nashville scene.
And me new musical express we know them they're cool.
Horror queers podcast.
Okay, the magazine of fantasy and science fiction.
Three imaginary girls.
That's like their bio for what they are right so I'm going down the list of critic reviews like a funny and then it says like their name and then their publication so.
Content creators that have a podcast that probably look at how this is like a, you know, commentary on trans people right, I guess, would be.
Oh maybe I could read that review.
I was just more getting giving the idea of like, these are the people that are a part of the critic reviews it's not necessarily always like no one publications.
There's some that maybe you don't know as well like Kevin Carr from fat guys at the movies.
Jessica Baxter from film threat.
She log Rowan leg from that shelf.
So Robbie Colin from news of the world.
Right, so I'm just just am in a little bit of like, because trying to understand that 75%.
But like maybe there's not all these bigger publications but that being said there are a lot of those bigger publications still coming out for this movie.
We can do what was it horror queers express is that the one that you're asking about.
From trace Thurman three and a half out of five. Nothing can quite prepare you for the last 15 minutes of this movie.
Trace is right.
And trace enjoyed that for the most part three and a half out of five enjoyed that last 15 minutes from Andrea Huber from NME new musical Express.
The big showdown when it comes is a disappointment but on the reflection that's probably because the determination to get there.
Overshadows the moral ambiguity of human decisions which is as in life where the real horror lies three and a half out of five.
Oh, God, they're picking up the philosophical sinew of what the of what splices put it out.
Yeah, from Jessica Baxter film threat.
The splice has viscera plenty.
The horror of it isn't in the gore.
It's in the notion that sometimes children end up evil and it might be entirely our fault.
Damn, Jessica. Damn.
Wow.
Damn, Jessica.
She from Kevin Carr.
Fat guys at the movies four and a half out of five.
Oh, just disappeared. Sorry.
He says a grisly and wrong cautionary tale on the dangers of science without regard to consequences.
That's what they like.
God, it's just hard to.
No, I was just about to say that I feel so mean because all of this I'm like you guys are given this movie way too much credit.
Yeah, like you are doing all the legwork for a movie that is so uninterested in these things that you're mentioning are somewhat presented, but so incredibly half ass about their opinion on it.
Like, oh, it really drives me nuts.
Do you think I mean, this is a.
You can now know out of a molehill.
This might be a can of worms, but do you think this shit is happening somewhere?
Oh, my God.
Do you think there's someone out there doing this shit?
I don't want to get conspiratoried.
I don't know.
I'll just that'll be rhetorical.
We can just be rhetorical.
There's a part of me that like during this movie, I'm like, people out there doing this shit.
No, like maybe cloning, but and they just like don't tell anybody and they have their own little private like fucking and then they just listen to fucking moracy.
I got I hope not because yeah, it's probably wouldn't support this.
Definitely not.
I'm just like what happens to you was wearing something.
It's like, I listen to the Smiths a lot.
Right.
Yeah.
Anyways, I just want to throw that one out there.
Like what if we, I don't know what if this shit is really happening from Kim Newman Empire Magazine four out of five.
It doesn't go the complete distance, but this is a wholly admirable, refreshingly grown up science fiction movie.
A Frankenstein with a beating.
Gene Spleys heart and top of the range performances.
I'll do the news of the world one from Robbie Colin four out of five.
It's refreshing to see a genre movie that credits credits its audience with a bit of intelligence and splite has a lot going on under the bonnet.
The world more like news of the UK bonnet, I don't know, or maybe bonnet.
Who says bonnet?
I don't know.
I'll do one more from Nigel Floyd time out.
There's there's more critic critically favored ones.
Like, I mean, if you if you want to check it out, just just so you know, like there's some reputable people that enjoy this movie.
Actually, I might do a couple more just to show Nigel Floyd from time out says this cronin cronin burguin.
Exploration of the perils of interspecies, Jean, Jean, splicing wrestles with some topical and disturbing ideas, but never quite pins them down.
So it's a little little middle of the road.
Man, actually, there are a couple.
Sorry, I'm going to do a couple more.
From Entertainment Weekly gave it a 91.
Lisa Schwartzbaum says it's a cheeky, great looking, thoughtfully loopy creature feature about the lore and dangers of cutting edge Jean splicing.
Manola Dargis from New York Times gave it a 90.
Mr. Natalie, whose earlier film films include cube hasn't reinvented the horror genre, but with splice.
He has done the next best thing with an intelligent movie that in between its small booze and an occasional hair raising Joel explores chewy issues.
Like bioethics, abortion, corporate sponsored science, commitment problems between lovers, and even Freudian worthy family dynamics.
So fascinating.
From Time, a 90 for Mary Poles, the movie is ridiculously over the top, ineligant and so defiantly crazy that it works, reminding you how fun,
the Goron creatures that go bump and grind in the night can be. It's a sci-fi horror film, but no actual comedy has made me laugh as much this year as splice.
There we go.
They got everything they wanted out of that movie. They got the whole they got the comedy. I don't understand how they did it, but they did it.
Michael Ordonnan from LA Times gave it a 90 as well.
And its mix are ethical quandaries and biotechnology nature versus nurture and an adorable sexy disturbing monster.
I'm going to read that one more time.
Oh, yeah, please.
Adorable, sexy, disturbing monster.
Yikes.
So there's that. But it wins best in show by focusing on one of the weirder relationship triangles in recent memory.
Thank you, Michael Ordonnan from LA Times for reminding us of the adorable, sexy, disturbing monster.
One more from Joe Morgan, certain Wall Street Journal 90. I just had to get these. I did some of the more obscure ones. These are the main main boys.
And gals, the film and days and splices. The film takes itself frivously when that's appropriate from some of its charmingly silly and seriously when as is often the case, all sorts of good surprises are unleashed.
Let's check out some audience feelings from the one star varietal.
Let's see from Marlene Puente, one star out of five.
Nope, nope, nope. I get the whole concept regarding going to foreign science experiments and where to draw the line. But holy hell, this was disturbing to watch.
I absolutely hate Elsa's character to she selfish, manipulative, doesn't think about the consequences consequences of her actions.
And I'm surprised when Dren becomes sexually curious. She's truly evil and morally disturbed.
I was genuinely disgusted when Dren had sex with a boyfriend and then spontaneously switched genders only to have sex with Elsa and impregnate her.
Yeah, from Cherise the Bean, the Bean one star out of five.
What the Badoof did I just watch?
Oh, what the Badoof?
Serious, it's pretty gross. So basically this girl decided to mix humans and alien and it ends up weird murder and stuff and a guy tried to murder the alien human hybrid thing and it didn't die.
I would prefer to see the mute to tic tac eater, but it didn't.
Afterward, I felt bad.
But afterward, both of the two main characters they're discussing my brain. It's broken.
Yeah, it sounds like it.
From Obreze 89 one star out of five.
Honestly, top 50 worst movies all time.
Adrian Brody and Sarah Polly are terrible. The acting does nothing to help this movie's disjointed plot.
People people write reviews trying to put an open minded spin on garbage.
Nothing like creating a monster than having sex with it only to have it change sexes and rape the other main character. Sorry.
Beginning to end waste of time.
Sorry.
From Jake Merrill one star out of five.
The female co main character is absolutely insufferable. Not only does she consistently manipulate her boyfriend, but she also makes complete, completely rash decisions that a supposed great scientist, let alone person of sound mind would not make.
Maybe if she was better written alongside better writing of the movie in general, then this movie might be bearable.
Man, I'll do one more.
Jenny Yang one star. Dude, I can't even look at. Oh, I am traumatized says Jenny Yang.
Dude, I can't even look at someone that looks like Dren the same.
Like it's going to remind me of the movie.
Acting is pretty good to the point where the characters annoy me.
One sir.
The actors people are really upset about the essay in this in this movie is is a lot of these reviews are surrounding because it's it happens in the end in a very like climactic sort of way that the movie is leading to and not only that but there is an unwanted pregnant pregnancy that comes of it.
And that is like the sting of the movie is the result of that moment and.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Slowly insane.
So I don't know if I can barrel down.
What, like what are the critics like about this like they.
They were honing in on all of those philosophical quandaries.
They will mention the humor.
Which is thinking kind of a campy way that almost we are like.
I had mentioned that at least some campy stuff in the end in a way this is like an entertaining to but it still doesn't make complete sense to me why they would actually rate this positive.
Agreed.
I don't understand.
And maybe it's a maybe it's a del Toro recency bias of pans labyrinth being close enough to this.
It's not like they gave they gave they give hellboy many favors.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, especially the second one right.
So that's the one he did.
Yeah, a lot of people do really like that one.
Yeah, it's fun.
And he didn't necessarily direct this, but it is for the better parts of it.
Some of the design and the conceptual work for its best moments maybe arc and to one of his movies, but the actual meat of the story and the characters are completely lost on me.
The things that they're attempting to work.
I don't know. Maybe they're working too well on me where I actually like cringe so hard that I cannot look at the screen anymore. And I know that in some horror movies, maybe that's a good thing.
But for this one, it's so upsetting that I no longer find titillation with it.
Like, there's a little bit.
There's a little bit of the human centipede thing of just like, look how fucking far they took this.
Can you believe how fucking far they took this batshit movie?
And it's not good.
I don't support it.
I hated the characters. I hated the story. I hated where it went. There's some elements that.
Wow.
This is your final summation.
Yeah, I'm going to finish it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because it like there's some elements that this is such a great final summation.
I just a list of eating.
I was really I was trying to I was trying to like come to terms with it since I watched it of like.
There's artists. It's upsetting because there are there's like some artistry. There is even like some pretty creative shots like it opens up on the POV of someone being fucking born.
That's a pretty cool opening of a movie.
Like I kind of I think it's kind of cool.
Like, if you can do that, well, like, I don't know. Like, oh, wow.
We're really starting with the birth of something like and this is this is birthing me into the story of the movie.
Like, but then some of that. Yeah, that maybe comes across as like.
Okay to me.
Yeah, like someone think they had like kind of an edge or sort of thing where like someone thinks that it's so much more meaningful than than it actually is.
And it's actually just kind of the the substance of it is kind of bullshit.
And then there's some trappings above like the conceptual design of the monster and everything I can see on paper being like, wow, you found a way to combine anatomical sort of attributions to different mammals and animals and everything like that,
and combine it into a character that grows into kind of three distinct representations throughout its time.
And maybe I guess for when it goes into the mail point, which happens very quickly, like it turns into no one happens like two seconds all its features change.
But who am I, who am I to say this is a new creature.
But there are moments where I'm just like looking at the creature like wow, like they really thought out its design, the effects somehow when they instill the real person in with the creature like it kind of it holds up like pretty well,
I guess I'm trying to think of like some positives like whoever that the actress that that plays the creature she does, she does a good job.
But fuck is it disturbing in a way that I would never want to see again.
It reminded me of how bad shit it was and yes, it's just it's it's not a good movie but it's like, it's it's sort of like interest like you can't really look away from certain things but it's like sensationalist in that way.
Where it's it's feeding on you to continue watching because it's going at this pace it's doing things that it's like oh what if we did this what if we push the plot to this point, but it never questions like why the characters would actually do that.
So it's never believable it's never like you're you're in it's in the palm of the of the creators of this movie's hand.
It's just like surface level stuff that I like some conceptual stuff.
Some moments like the blob stuff some ideas there's some ideas that like in better hands maybe could be handled with more delicacy or better care.
You can relate this to some other things that might be better like Cronenberg or Frankenstein or something like that.
But for the reasons I already lined up I just I needed like a shining light of hope in this movie somewhere like I needed some sort of like person to be like, here's the plan of how we're going to deal with this.
I don't know, like even like some of my favorite movies that have dread true dread in them are some of my favorite horror movies of like,
Fash like how are we going to and then just gets worse and worse and worse. But in a lot of those movies like there's a point where someone comes along or that or like oh we have this plan.
If we do this exactly it's a low chance of working but if we if we follow this plan we can do it.
Neither of them come to an agreement about a plan or what to do that will actually like solve it.
They are constantly like coming up with fucking temporary solutions that you know we're never going to fucking work out.
And you can tell that they know that too. And there's just no there's no sense of control. There's no sense of comfort and sounds kind of intuitive and how horrible if you want to be uncomfortable but it's just not enjoyable and not fun not to the
lady even like we you brought up like a little lady and a fucked up way but not for me and like it follows even it's like that is the essence of dread there's always going to be someone falling there's always going to be something coming for you.
But what happens in the movie do but what happens at the beginning of the movie. The guy sits her down is like hey this is this is how long I've made it.
I'm giving it to you but this is your best chance of making it through this is this direction that and I'm giving it to you and plot wise and and you know I don't need to be you know sharing tips from a better movie or anything but there's just
there's things within a dreadful situation that can give some life to the ride that you're about to go on.
So like yeah like a one out of four would be like 25 right so I'd give it like 18 I'll give it like an 18.
Yeah.
I mean we're something like that.
I think it's like reprehensible.
Okay so that's so that's how my sense of like it like goes dips below because it like it's offensive.
So that's that's a big part of how I'm going to review this or what the score, what my score is going to be so you've outlined a majority of the things that have already been said and the things that I would say about not liking the movie so I don't
need to rehash them about this movie is just absolutely poor and almost every aspect of trying to accomplish what it's like you know things that it finds interesting executing on concepts or ideas in horror movies and other movies all of it's really bad and then it's reprehensible and then it has two essay scenes in this movie that are
wholly undeserving. I don't think they add anything to the movie and are just shocking for the sake of shocking and I don't think essay should be used that way at all because it should if you're going to have that in your movie it should be to the effect of making a very clear and point about your perspective on this and it doesn't do that do that at all so I'm going to actually give this movie a 1%
Fuck yeah this is the like I don't ever want to watch this movie ever again. It's it's fucking sucks it's it drove me nuts. It uses that as a horror. Yeah, horror tactic and I mean I guess I don't know fucking last house in the left or whatever fucking shit like uses the the vehicle of human depravity and in a way that like, yeah, I don't know it almost like knows what it's doing.
Yeah, that's completely reasonable and in this movie.
It does it in a way as a as a climactic moment and as it's ellipsis is there's the cause of that and it's.
Yeah, not good. No, not good. Okay, so before we end the podcast I have some magnetized for us. Oh my God.
So we're going to do so we don't know since it's just me and James on this episode what's going to happen is we're going to play magnetize just a game we played before where I am going to give a movie that has the same score from critics and audiences on rotten tomatoes.
James is going to try to guess said score. And then, since it's just him typically there would be like another person here and whoever gets closest would win a point we'd go to three. So what we're going to do is 21.
If you are off so every time you guess say you're off you know by however many from what the number is we're going to just tally up the differences after three and if you get if you go over 21 points difference you lose you say within it you win.
Okay, got it. Right. Gotcha.
All right. So the first movie is nightmare on Elm Street three dream warriors. Oh, fuck. Wow. I love when there's older movies represented on rotten tomatoes and this has been something that I've been wanting for this podcast to is finding some of these older
movies that are polarized. But what happens with older movies is people tend to I feel like come to the same conclusion about them because more time has passed they can sit with it for a bit. Polarizing reactions are kind of reactionary in themselves I feel like.
So yeah, and this one I feel like has grown in people's esteem as time has gone on. Well actually I don't know how people react when it first came out but I just went through the nightmare on Elm Street movies up to three.
I don't think I got to four. I think I just did one two and three last Halloween. I ended up enjoying this one quite a bit so I'm going to do.
74 74 coming from James on probably there on Elm Street three dream warriors is 68. Oh, that's not bad. Okay, I'll take it. So you said what did you say 74 74.
Okay, okay. So people like that. That's your six. That's probably better than two. Okay. All right. Dream Wars. Good. This six difference. They like it's there's like lore that's added to that movie that like should come up like if they do more Elm Street
and I know they remade it at one point with the with the Rooney Mara and stuff but like that dream warrior stuff they can like you the way to fight back in your dreams of like finding your your warrior element like and find back against Freddie in your own way was really cool.
Yeah, absolutely. And people loved it more a lot more than the second one.
So it was one of those situations kind of yeah, it goes ones a classic to by and large hated and three is where it, you know, makes a course correction for the better and really just gets bigger and you know more action which yeah, has a tendency to yeah, I don't
be more populist. There are some of those horror movies where it's like the odds are good or the evens are good I like between Friday and 13th and Halloween and like odds and events are are good depending on which one.
Sure. Yeah.
All right, next movie is Tucker and Dale versus evil.
Oh, this one's good. Okay. This has got to be positive. This is something that really appealed to me as somebody that didn't watch a lot of horror movies to see a satire of a really spoke to me and being able to laugh but then also have a lot of horror elements.
I'm going to say this is this is probably like 82.
82 coming from James. This is a good one. Tucker and Dale versus evil should be certified freshy fresh and say it again you say 82 I think it's good.
82. It is 85.
Wow. Okay, James, you're in a good position moving into the man. You got a total of nine difference. So shit man you got I fuck this up one time we need to this game.
For me I feel like the third one I like completely was off base so anything can happen.
Well, that's the thing right is like it's really not difficult for you to be like, this was a 65 and it's an 85 and then bang you're done.
So yeah, this could go this ago bad quickly so.
All right.
Last movie is I am legend.
Fuck a Philip K Dick story I've recently started my first Philip K Dick's book called Ubic I think is how you pronounce it you be I K.
It's like it's great within the first like 10 pages it's already like introducing shit that just blows my mind like people die or like they don't even really die they just like keep them around in this like place like they upload their mind to like this thing and then you can like visit them every year.
But then like there it slowly like drains like their life force kind of drains away to the point where like they do actually like they put them in this place where you can like every year go go talk to them for like a day.
And then they like prolong them that's just ideas that like.
Yeah and then I watched.
I'm sorry every one of these movies I'm just going on my own little train but I watched this movie called a glitch in the matrix it's a documentary about how we might be living in a simulation.
Oh cool yeah about like that's a trap possibility of that.
And a big part of that the follow through like a big part of that documentary that they kept on going back to was there was this time when Philip K Dick like went to this book reading and instead of like doing a book reading he brought like this stack of papers that he printed out and he gave this like hold dissertation about like how we might be like living in a
simulation and just like talking about all this. Oh my god that sounds like it is essentially like a big part of his inspiration for man in high castle or that one is of like he says he has like these false memories about the Nazis winning World War two and how there's like this
alternate reality of that really existing and that's why a man in high castles essentially that about if Nazis won the war.
Yeah. So anyways where the fuck are we. I am legend I am legend I'm going to give I am legend.
In 89.
89.
It's pretty favorable on I am legend people is that too high.
I don't know.
The score for I am legend is 60%.
Damn really I thought people like that one that was way too high shit so that was like way over 21.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah I fucked up really 68 damn 68 yeah because it's not that great of a movie.
Yeah I don't know why I thought people rated it so high.
Shit why.
Hey it was a good you know what we just we got close you got close.
There we are that is magnetized.
What a game. What a game.
These numbies man I love I love stats sometimes when and especially ascribing numerical quantities to movies is something I'm trying to do more of and we've been doing on this podcast.
I question every single time I read a movie but damn when it's like an average out thing it makes it kind of interesting how things come to those conclusions.
The movie like splice doesn't exist maybe in conversation wise between people but out on the web on Ron Tomatoes.
Critics scores are still out there and black and white and it is 75%.
And that's something that I have to live with.
We both have to live with the fact that we have to that's a critically acclaimed movie.
And I have to live with the fact that I fucking suck at my own game.
You need such a great game James I love it.
I guess it's the opposite of our podcast we'll do another one on on magnetized movies but then it'll just be a lot of like wow can you believe how much people agree on things isn't our world great people agree on everything exactly how they should.
Thank you for arousing segment to tally us off here.
We hope you guys have enjoyed our very gratuitous it's been it's been a solid healthy discussion of a batshit movie of a batshit creature that probably has some bat in there mixed in wings are pretty bat like.
For our next feature for our next discussion, we will be continuing the horror train.
It's the horror Novo.
Octo Novo horror Novo Octo.
And we're going to a Russell Crowe experience.
He is the exorcist for the pope he isn't exercising the pope is from one effort but he's the exorcist for the pope he is the pope's exorcists.
This movie came out this year in 2023.
It has a poopy doopey snoopy 48% from the critics it has a hotty toddy 81% from the audience side of things.
We will be here to discuss another Russell Crowe free Russell Crowe feature.
We did unhinged this episode might get unhinged that we discuss the pope's exorcist I can only hope so.
Because I feel a little unhinged myself after that.
That movie that far this fucking movie so glad we were able to do this this was kind of like closure for me after seeing it's almost what 15 years ago in the movie theater and thinking about it every now and then.
Yeah, you ever yeah you have those movies you haven't you only seen once but then every now and then you wake up and you're like fuck.
Remember that fucking splice movie where they created a creature and then had they both had sex with it and now it's it's closure.
I can put it away.
I can never think of it again hopefully and we can move on to bigger better things like pope's exorcist I'm hoping for the best brandini speaking at the best.
Oh stop that.
Yeah, I don't think it.
Yeah, I was hoping.
This has been a true pledge.
Yeah.
It's so premium.
I'm a premium co host. I have been your forever guest with the co most and if you'd like to reach us at any other place polarized the pod at gmail.com twitch.tv slash polarized we're streaming live as you speak as I speak you're not speaking I'm speaking shut up.
Polarize pod. We love you all please join us next time for pope's exorcist enjoy your spooky season and we'll see you next time.
Bye.
Inside you.
I'm Albert.