Day empremore note
Welcome to the podcast.
Once again, I'm your trusty host, James.
We are back in the polarized kingdom.
We talk about movies, polarizing movies, according to Rotten Tomatoes.
Sometimes the critics love them.
Sometimes the audiences hate them or vice versa.
No matter what they disagree.
These two sides were jumping into a franchise today that is pretty far down the road.
It's a number 10.
We're starting from number 10.
It's is it 10?
I don't know.
It's Roman numerals.
It's fast X baby.
We have gone to the points point where they've gone to Roman numerals.
They haven't done that before.
I don't think have they?
Is there a five with a V?
I'm trying to think here.
I think it's mostly been what do you say?
Alpha numeric?
Is that what you would call numbers?
Let's look at those numbers over here from the critics.
It is a 56% from the audience.
It is an 84% on Rotten Tomatoes.
So it's close to being almost fresh from the critics, but it is divisive nonetheless.
It is a two and a half hour juggernaut of a movie that doesn't quite wrap everything
up.
Should you be surprised on its 10th installment that it doesn't finish everything.
There's more to be had.
Before I get too ahead of myself, I need a couple friends.
Dare I say family.
Yeah, there it is with me here today.
I have my trusty cohost.
I consider myself just a guest of this established very top of the line podcast.
You're hearing to hear in the line.
Let's start the show.
One, two, three, four, five.
I got the one and only the great, great brandy knee is joining me.
How the hell are you friend family?
Come into the come into the polarized kingdom and let's talk.
Let's talk some polarizing movies.
I'm doing later.
I want to do my Vin Diesel.
I'm doing good.
I don't know.
It's a work in progress, but I'm doing well, man.
I'm excited to talk about this.
This movie, right?
When you're about to get into your van, it looks like you're almost about to pop a blood
vessel because you're trying.
You're like, I know he acts so hard.
I just I mean, there there's a lot of things that could be said about this movie that could
be.
Yeah, I don't know.
We might be pretty critical about this.
At least I might going to be pretty critical about this movie.
But one thing I'm not going to be critical of is the concept of Vin really acting with
everything he's got, because, yeah, it's it's a part of these franchise because I'm a huge
fan.
I guess let's get started into the how we feel about fast movies, where we're at in
this franchise and all of that.
But actually, wait, before we do that, we should probably bring in the guest.
Yeah, let's bring in that.
Let's bring in that guy to choose a partnership.
We're we're we're buddies, but we need somebody in the backseat, I think, as well.
Or maybe if there's like a little middle seat in the front and we're all like hanging out
together in like a truck.
Cruising around in a car with cannons on the side of it.
Yes, of course, in which you can launch yourself into the air.
Yes, and turn your whole car into like a missile.
The weirdest feature.
That thing got jammed, but you could switch those hinges around and launch in the air.
No problem.
And rotate and go downward into something and then create space instead of just making
it even worse for someone to drive through is a big fireball.
You blew it up and then created space for him to effortlessly drive through his bird
corpse.
Or is he dead?
I don't even know who even knows in this movie, but there's there's somebody here that is
a family member of this podcast and a founding member of the Polaris Kingdom.
And he's been with us definitely on the most EPS.
He's he's the reigning MVP, most valuable primate.
We're going to do monkey.
We're considering a monkey with man or child movie series if we can find enough for monkey
with man.
And it was his idea.
Let's get him in.
He's the Alec Baldwin of RS and L. He keeps coming back.
Don't shoot.
Oh no.
Let's let's let's get he's going to do his job.
We're off the rails.
Let's get him in here.
Well it's not on rails.
It's from the road brand.
And it's just say my fucking name.
Danny fucking birds get in here.
Motherfucker.
You dirty dog.
We're back.
You were back with the big family.
The family's back.
I hope everyone watched Fast One through nine before this.
If not, turn this off right now.
We'll be right back.
OK.
So we just watched all of the best movies leading up to this.
Wow.
How easy.
I feel like I just went on a very long road trip.
Yeah.
I didn't sleep.
I need to drink some Monster Energy drink.
And I got a Red Bull.
I'm surprised I haven't seen them drink Monster.
Besides they just drink Corona.
But you don't even really drink in this movie.
No, it's like just like some like Coronas on a Sunday barbecue when they're not driving.
They are not.
They are not driving.
You're right.
That's such a good point, James, that they can't really be drinking in scenes because
they're immediately going to get into a car.
It's amazing that Corona got this much play.
It will be all about driving vehicles.
You think they could play that for laughs like Roman just getting super fucked up and
then having to get on the road and trying to get away.
There's like no citizens around if it was like in an open field and there's just bad
guys in hand maybe.
And he has to like figure out how to drive drunk in an open open field and not hit like
a single tree.
And then he hits the single tree and then it's everybody has.
I mean, I would posit that he could he would probably end up doing less damage as drunkenly
driving than they do with a safe attached to the back of their car.
You know, you know, you hit everything.
That's the least.
If you were drunk, we'd feel better about it.
Like at least I was a little drunk.
And that's why I'm not stone cold, sober, murdering people with a huge safe attached
to the back of his car.
I bet Corona has like a reverse product placement deal with them where they're like, as each
movie goes on, you have to put less Coronas in your movie.
Right.
It's funny to think that's why that's always at the end.
I don't know.
They need to.
I'm surprised they don't have like a I haven't seen any cross promotion on a Corona box or
bottle being like, I guess I don't know if they would change the flavor or just be like,
hey, oh, you brought a Corona, you son of a bitch.
You did it.
Danny's popping around right now.
I mean, right.
Right.
Which also I don't know if I'm taking taking the time to talk to you guys about this is
our first.
Our Lord and Savior.
Goddamnit, Danny.
Here we go again.
I can totally imagine Vin doing the same thing.
Just.
Uh huh.
He's like, you know what?
Jesus is kind of like this Corona.
I think these beers, these specific Coronas have been out for a while.
And I think Fast and the Furious is missing a huge, leaving a lot of money on the table
and missing a huge opportunity because this is literally called familiar.
There's Corona familiar.
Why aren't they drinking these like this?
And why didn't you just call it family?
Like what are we doing here?
Familiar.
We're really missing each other and then not promoting like I don't get it.
I.
We got to get you.
Yeah, just take it.
Take the R off Alan and then just put Vin's head somewhere.
Just his head.
Right.
I would love that.
That's a liquor bottle that was the shape of Vin Diesel's head.
That'd be so cool.
It's a tequila.
It's his head.
You just drink out like the top of his head.
What if it was his mouth is where the liquid came out and he had to kiss him to drink the.
I don't like it.
You don't like it?
What a.
You don't think Vin Diesel is an international sex symbol.
He is definitely promoted as such.
I'm surprised you're not picking up on that.
I mean, is it self promotion?
Does that count?
If you ask him, like, I'm sure he owns a lot of his own cologne.
Right.
Yeah, the the.
What is the freight.
Container that the kid smuggled in.
That was actually all of his.
You just already had that.
That's part of the budget.
My two thousand miles of cologne that I just drench myself in every morning.
Because, you know, Vin probably just.
He's like the rock made us wheel around all of his weight equipment.
We're taking this whole container full of cologne and doing something with it.
If it's not cologne, it's for sure like an aftershave, like heavy aftershave.
It's called engine grease.
Vin, people don't want.
Now we're talking so much about Vin, but I just have to say.
Like him overall in this movie and the dialogue is is something something to to behold in
itself, but him speaking every single time was like the most poetic.
Yeah.
One liner like a philosophical sort of quote.
Yeah.
Proverbs sort of thing.
Yeah.
Like very broad sort of thing.
Shakespearean.
Yes.
Yeah.
But he's telling little Brian like, yeah, you just got to do this and this.
And like they bring it back at the end.
It has nothing to fucking do with it.
Like like telling the kid to like launch a car off of the fucking road.
Like it was like that.
Oh, that was such a stretch.
Yeah.
Like I would be so confused as his child.
And it's heavy handed too, because they cut to a lot of things visually.
I'm like, remember, remember, like, no, we got it.
We got it.
No, it's OK.
I got it.
But these movies have done that multiple times.
And it cracks me up that there is a flashback to a part of the movie we've seen.
Like that concept is no, but not just that.
But like in a Fast and Furious movie, it's been done before where there will be a flashback
at the end of the movie about what happened and like what was in the beginning of the
movie.
Like we had forgotten.
We had forgotten about the movie we're currently watching.
Just like, wow, they're taking it.
Like you don't trust us at all.
What did you think?
I'm just walking in on this like fucking hour and a half like like just in case you're just
joining us.
This isn't a radio show.
It's tough for like a movie being in its 10th part not to do this, but I do feel like half
of the time, especially the first act of this movie is spent trying to catch people up and
reestablishing things and trying to make sure everyone's up to speed on everything.
And it's like a lot of time is spent on that rather than just trusting everyone to like
propel us into the next installment.
It's like it's really takes its time in that first act.
And that was kind of just like already sleepy because it's felt like.
I mean, it felt like the end because it was I was doing the family thing with the coronas
right at the beginning.
Sure.
Yeah.
Disorienting.
You're like, wait a minute.
This the beginning of this movie does this thing.
I can't remember if it was Danny.
You have to hold on.
I guess the cold open the second.
Yeah.
Right.
Where this movie is like padded with it was we were watching Rocky.
And it was like Rocky 2 or something like that.
And it's like a lot of that movie is three.
Yeah, it was three.
Three.
A lot of that movie is for the other movies.
Yeah.
Just like, oh, man.
I think it might have been for we watch.
Yeah, it was we watched three or four recently together.
But four is pretty great.
But a lot of it is like half of the movie is just montages where they are showing past
Rocky movies and all his past accomplishments.
And the opening of the movie is the ending of the previous movie.
Exactly.
Maybe it is three because it's like it's when Creed and Rocky are best buds and they're
hanging out and they show that as the opening to the next movie.
And it's like, wow, like how much of this movie is just the 45 minutes of the movie
is actual the original.
Right.
Montages of Klobber Lang like working out and getting ready to like take him down, which
like it seems insane, though, like to like with especially with these movies with Fast
and Furious, it seems insane to be like, hey, remember this to like like there's so much
story that like it's so complicated.
Yeah.
Come on, man.
We're already here.
We're in it.
Call.
Let's go.
You know, yeah, like I'm sure, you know, friends became enemies.
Enemies became friends.
Like we're we're already on board.
Like I think if you have to keep recapping us like multiple times, it starts to feel
like fan service at that point.
Well, yeah, like I mean, honestly, it's moments for people in the audience watching it at
the theater to like, oh, yeah, like I remember that.
Yeah.
And that's what a lot of this is, because it is rehashing a previous thing that already
happened in their storyline.
So I guess maybe they feel more beholden to kind of refresh people on the things leading
up to five and how some of those aspects might play play a part.
And obviously, and I just I didn't watch I haven't watched that one in a while.
I don't remember a lot about it besides the safe chase scene and everything.
But rehashing some of that stuff, bringing someone back from that and using that same
set piece again, I don't know if that was really used to the effect that they wanted
or was as satisfying as I may have thought it could have been.
But I agree with you.
Yeah, it's an open, stretching road.
It's a bridge like, I don't know, it looks so terrible.
Like you can tell it's worse.
It looks worse.
Are we talking about the opening scene?
Yeah, we're talking about the opening scene.
But then again, it brings it back later on, too.
You know, isn't it wild rehashing the five one?
Yeah.
To pick arguably their most controversial set piece of like all the movies they've done.
The one with like the most massive casualties like without a doubt, like most irresponsible
thing they've probably done.
I mean, everything else, you know, with the submarine and all that, they're out in the
middle of the Antarctic or something.
This was like you're in a metropolitan city ripping around with fucking, you know, with
a with a fucking ballpark.
Like a Man of Steel into Batman versus Superman, right?
Because yeah, all that shit happens in Man of Steel.
All the reaction of the audience members who are just like fuck, like they were just destroying
building after building.
Like how are the human costs and like no addressing that.
And then Batman or Superman is Batman on the ground, like experiencing it all.
And then that's essentially but this cold open.
I don't know.
The editing was super clunky and not all throughout the movie.
Definitely some some bright spots or like parts that were more clunky than others.
But this opening was kind of clunky to me, even just throwing him into the water and
his him opening and opening his eyes didn't tell me no quickly.
It didn't tell me enough.
Yeah, I was insanely brief.
Maybe I don't know enough about his father and his family family.
But I wanted a little bit more as to why he got so fucking cuckoo bananas.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I guess I want to see that origin story a little bit of like what what did he do in
between all this time leading up to it up to this point to make him so fucking bananas?
Yeah.
It's like going to be the Joker.
Then make him like the fucking Joker issue.
He needs more of a reason.
He need to be like he's been in a fucking mental institution for like, you know, 10
years or whatever.
Like there needs to be more of a reason why he's a fucking wackadoodle psycho.
And you just like inserted a character, you know, into this story where it's like, you
know, yeah, like they didn't.
Yeah.
If you're going to have if you're going to bring somebody out from the woodwork like
that, which this movie kind of always does, though.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, it's unsurprising.
There's one of our family members in the John Cena being a brother and not him.
Right.
No one knowing about this brother like in the last movie, too, is insane.
Man, he's I think the introduction to Abuela this this episode was fucking this season.
This movie was wild as well, because it's like there's been a grandma in this family
the whole fucking time that's alive.
Where is she?
Someone's going to be going after grandma.
She's not saying anymore.
That's when you get scared when they introduce people, you're like, oh, that's good.
Someone's going to use that person as leverage.
And then the sun, there's so much time given to the sun.
Her outfit, the Abuela's outfit is so funny to me because it's like she got like it's
like a lot of the characters in this, which is always cracks me up because a friend of
mine that I go to see this with always points it out because it's just like you could kind
of not.
A friend of mine, Brian, Brian, but I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
But he always points it out.
And it's so funny to me because like you can miss it because you're watching a movie and
everybody is dressed like they are a movie star in a movie, not like they're in a like,
you know, actually inhabiting like a real space.
It's just everybody looks like they're a movie star.
And the Abuela is such a great example of that.
And it cracks me up because she has this shirt that has the color like popped up and then
she's got like all of this jewelry on.
And her shirt has a and I mean, God, she is the most stylish older woman I've ever seen
because like she so she's got a pop color.
She's got this big jewelry, big necklace, and then her shirt is tucked into her jeans
and it's a white on white.
And then she's got these like fun little boots on.
You're like, oh, my God, this is like she looks great.
So that's Rita Marino from West Side Story.
Famous actor.
She is an EGOT.
Wow.
Fucking way.
I'm like an EGOT.
Wow.
She's in the Fast and the Furious.
She does very little in this movie.
So part of me is like, oh, that's kind of upsetting.
Then you have an EGOT.
Oh, that's just that's the poll that they got, man.
Helen Mirren.
Helen Mirren will just show up for a little bit.
And I mean, like, like, but here's what I think is like, if you're going to show us
all these montages of shit that we already know, instead, give me a montage of Abuela.
Like what's she been doing?
Oh, oh, like if you would have just showed me a montage of all the things she's been
getting into while the Toretto's have been international, like fucking smuggling, crime
fighting race car race car enthusiasts.
My God, I'm realizing Vince wearing sleeves in these pictures.
Yeah.
Is that weird?
For people who don't know, we're all sleeveless because of in support of Vince allergy to
sleeves.
Well, did the Rock take sleeveless shirts from him, too?
Oh, probably.
Yeah, that's right.
He was like, oh, listen, somehow there was an agreement.
So you're bringing up a point about the production of this movie that I kind of it's always funny
to talk about because of how egotistical diesel is and like this is a movie that is filled
to the brim with A-list actors.
So like we were joking about in the trailer about how it was seven minutes long.
And yeah, it's like you have to you have to give one and a half minutes, which already
sounds creepy.
I mean, you sound like you're exaggerating, but it was not for us.
It was four and a half minute trailer.
But yes, you have to give everybody their time.
And yes, you're talking about going into this was and it's egregious because it's such a
last minute thing that is put into the movie that is so insider Hollywood shit where Vin
and the Rock have been at odds with each other and really don't like working with each other
because no surprise, both of them think that they're like too big for their britches, egotistical,
don't like their attitude, whatever.
And going into this, like I feel like production had all had already wrapped on this movie.
And then there was some reconciliation happened.
And I mean, really, what we're talking about, too, is that Black Adam didn't do well.
So he needs to get back into Fast and Furious movies as quickly as possible because he needs
to keep that juice going.
Which what happened was Vin and like triple X and shit, right?
Probably Chronicles of Red Egg and stuff.
Chronicles of Red Egg.
Oh, God.
And something.
Oh, go ahead.
No, no, you go.
Not going.
Well, OK.
So also, then apparently the like Statham and the Rock aren't getting along well and
shit and Statham and Vin.
Like that's where having Hobbs and Shaw spin off worked well for the Rock and Statham.
But then I guess they kept them all separate.
Like it's like none of them want to be even on the same set together.
Like I'll be a traitor.
Seems like he's double wide for my John Cena just seems like the easiest person to work
with.
Like it seems like everybody gets along with that guy.
But do you think that Vin Diesel had John Cena killed in the movie?
And the Rock fucking hates Tyrese as well.
But do you think Vin Diesel purposely had John Cena's character killed in this movie
so that either the Rock could come back or so he doesn't have to share the screen with
the other?
I have no idea.
If there's like a power pole or anything, I don't know what that may be.
I just thought him adding stakes, I guess.
I thought it was crazy that they made John Cena's character suddenly likeable.
I was going to just bring that up.
He killed him off in the same movie.
Totally.
Surprising to me.
Because I like him a lot too.
I think he's funny.
But he wasn't likeable in the one before this.
Like he was a totally different character.
He was the villain.
Yeah.
So I mean that's the thing.
Now he's like slapstick fun uncle and then dead deadzo bananas at the end of the movie.
That's like Statham right too.
He was like had an action scene protecting a baby in what like seven or whatever it was
and before that he was the villain, you know, at some point.
Maybe it's little Brian in this movie.
Yeah, right.
That's like essentially nine, ten years have passed and that baby is supposed to be the
one that's that is in the ending of that movie.
Correct.
Yeah.
Which is another than is featured in this movie because we go to Rio de Janeiro out
of the 12 locations that this movie has and it was Auntie did he was his original.
OK.
What that lady had a child with the diesel without Vin Diesel knowing about correct.
Yeah.
And then yeah.
And so that it has a name and then she dies and he's just like we're going to little Brian.
Yeah.
I mean, your name kid like you're this guy who's still alive.
Well, I don't think she said that she ever named him because of I think some type of
like cultural thing where the father needs to name the child.
You imagine having a child for like, I don't know, five or six months and you don't call
it a name at all.
You're like, hey, baby.
And surely staring kills her.
Yeah.
And then at the end of this movie, they're they're essentially teaming up.
So it'll be interesting seeing how they reckon with that in the next one.
But having a joker come and supersede Charlize Theron right off the bat, I was already kind
of like thrown for a loop because she already was kind of the Thanos to me in this world.
And so to have like someone else, they were like, yeah, like push Thanos aside and have
Thanos like work with them for a bit just was like, this is getting a little too like
convoluted and layered.
And I really like I really I like her and she maybe overall in the end maybe will still
be a big bad and go back to, you know, maybe she's more of a magneto or some shit like
that and where you just see.
So I don't know, Scarlett.
We.
She's actually more of a magneto.
I feel like she's going to be like there's a lot of world building in this movie for
sure.
There's too much of everything in this movie, which is so funny because that's it's like
a weird it's weird critique because I know that's what I come to expect out of these
movies is for them to be overstuffed with shit in it.
And the three lines now, and that's fun on this one.
I don't know.
This time it was it was too the sausage was bursting at the seams like it was like, yeah,
there's too much going on, which is such a again, a weird critique of this movie.
I would assume that people every time I tell somebody that, oh, yeah, I love these Fast
and Furious movies, they probably think that in the back of their head, they're like, those
movies are these overblown stupid movies.
Yeah.
Fucking messes.
And like, no, no, they're cool.
They're cool.
There was an art to it.
There was an art to it at a time like when you five, six, seven, and then even in the
eight, they're five to seven.
That's that.
That's the sweet spot for sure.
And as they build that, like that, that legendary mythos where it's like, we're going to read,
we're going to turn these people into and like, no, that progression is not slow.
It's pretty immediate and like, they become superheroes very quickly.
You can do it in a car.
They've done it.
There's some of the beauty, but like there's things you should not be doing in a car that
they've done as well.
Things that you previously thought previously impossible to do in a car.
They've also done those as well.
And I have no idea what I'm saying because it's like, what did I am I saying?
I broke my suspension of disbelief at some point, but it's like the whole time they've
been doing bonkers shit like so like, I guess I can't say they jump a shark or anything
like that, but it's just it's right.
But it's it's weirdly too much in this where you're like, you're not doing anything well
like years and stuff too.
You have you have you have the past, the passing of the garden stuff.
And like this is becoming one of those franchises like the Bond franchise where different people
gets to now take their spin on it.
Yeah, which kind of makes it up.
Agree with the matter, but the dress between the through line is just like it's weak because
it's relying so much on five and this other family and villain that you've kind of done
away with five movies going to reintroduce them in a way to make it as important as it
felt in five is kind of hard and almost impossible when you already have such a good villain
and Charlize Theron and it almost kind of robs her and kind of defangs her a little
bit in my mind.
And that's like really fucks with me because I like the idea of bringing people into the
family.
Always love that.
That's a fun thing.
And to have her be as close as she is just kind of annoys me because as crazy as Momoa
is, he doesn't get enough of a backstory because they're already busy doing much other other
bullshit and you're supposed to like know that you're supposed to.
You're supposed to like they're relying on you like to know so much about five.
And even if you do, it's like not necessary.
And then when they build him or like the reason you wouldn't know about him leading up into
this movie as well is because maybe they're also trying to hide fuckface McGee.
The 42 main characters, he can't throw that out there.
The guy that's like the big twist at the end that you find out it's like he was already
going against Dom.
But then you find out that he's then you want it to be buddies with Dom.
But then you find out he's against Dom in a different way.
And it just I don't care about that.
Cool.
Oh, yeah.
Well, because he's such a milquetoast guy.
But OK, to backpedal a little bit, because I agree with you that there's these are fundamental
issues with this movie is so you don't really get a sense of what the dad that got killed
was like because he says almost nothing in the movie.
Right.
So you don't know, to like Danny's point earlier, like why is Dante the way that he is?
Sure, they do like kind of explain it away, saying like, oh, he's been like in and out
of juvie and, you know, kind of like the streets.
Dad died in a car racing fire.
And then the then the like drug lord guy picks him up out of juvie.
Right.
He lost all his money because Dom burned it.
He's Dom's the real joker because he's burning the money.
I told you.
Oh, I'm doing superhero references.
Purely superhero references.
Oh, well, that's so great, because I mean, Comic Con's this weekend.
So I mean, people, you know, I get it.
It's just that kind of, you know, that kind of vibe.
That's what that's what he does a lot.
And I thought I got a kick out of that every single time.
And when a villain just like is he pulls up next to him and is just like, I'm going to
get you.
And he just like the fart sound.
It's just like, it's truly crazy.
But then, but in what way, in what direction and how, like, you just know that he's just
generally crazy.
But like the joker, the joker thing, even then it was like he has this story that he
shifts and changes depending on the situation.
And that tells you like at least a little, little something.
But like Jason, the Moe is just fucking bananas.
That's all.
Yeah.
I think that like that's where like if you're going to explore that part of him, because
there's that whole scene like if we can't talk more about this without talking about
the scene where he's like interviewing those two.
Yeah, let's jump around.
There's got to be you want to jump around or do you guys want to take a beat by beat?
I got pretty much.
I mean, we go be like, but I'm like, all right, yeah, let's go beat by beat.
It's really like, you know, we'll get to the we cannot do every beat, though.
We cannot do every beat.
We've talked about the beginning of this movie, so we don't need to do the cold opening.
We all get it.
You know, it's a rehashing of the end of five.
Shirley shows up at the family house.
I mean, let's.
Yeah, there we go.
That's yeah.
OK, so she has this line that was crazy to me.
Like right off the bat, insane.
Oh, shit.
She goes, where is it?
Met the devil tonight.
Oh, he's thought it was me kind of disappointing.
Whoa.
Oh, man, I just just when was on a good one.
This is malignant level stuff, though, and it works well in like a B horror movie like
it's supposed to be kind of a horror movie where it's like these platitudes, like you're
saying, and just kind of generic sort of speak.
But this is just some of the line like one of those dominant domisms at the beginning
that he says to a little B is no one starts at the finish line.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, well, I mean, you got the finish line.
And then also at the beginning before the movie starts, one of the companies presenting
the movie is called One Race.
Yes.
I wanted to talk about this.
How is that not seen as any sort of like problematic for them, like making that?
Because that's that is such a race.
They have race wars earlier in the series.
So I don't know.
It's like Adam and about like, let's bring it back.
Race wars like in like the fourth movie or fifth movie is like, we're going back to race
wars.
And then he's like, and just to double down, I'm going to make my production company one
rate like, oh, nobody's telling this guy no.
Like the thing is, he's gotten to so many places by everyone saying yes, dude, the people
he doesn't like usually leave.
Right.
If he was like, hey, what do you guys think about the name one?
I'd be like, it's been done before.
And like, not a good look.
Yeah, like it blows my mind that kind of that level of like, like just.
So OK, so this I've read about then is like if you were to press him, like that's his
philosophy is he's like, you know, what I would like to see in the world is that we
all just become one race of people.
And he's like in the sense of like, we're all together.
And that's like a wipe out and not like a not like a Nazi Aryan thing.
And more like fuck everybody way, I guess.
Well, oh, yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
Like, I hear what you're all humans.
Right. I mean, his intentions, I think, are good with it.
But you're right. The execution of it is very weird and silly and
very much taken the wrong way.
Also, I mean, another
something similar to that, too, that always kind of cracks me up is that
Vin presents himself as being biracial in like such a.
Like, can't put a pin on it type thing where when they introduce the Abuela,
it's like, wait, so he's Mexican.
I thought he was Italian on.
Tom Toretto.
And then the videos of his dad are so like, like distorted
and like 70s film greasy and stuff.
You're like, I don't know.
It's just a guy in a car.
Right. I guess that could be anybody.
Like they do get into that in like the the.
The last one, they have flashbacks.
That's like the first time they have a flashback to nine
where it's like showing him and John Cena as kids with their dad.
And then like that, like I can't I forget.
In my memory.
I don't know.
Oh, my God. That'd be cool.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because who knows?
Like, but like, wait, is the Abuela like cheese?
You don't have to get hung up on the.
I'm sorry to bring bring that bring that.
Yeah, we can move on.
Surely say I'm trying to I'm trying to think of what kind of.
Like, I can't wait to see her.
Is there is there another like a movie that you can think of,
like the bad guy coming in and like wounded and being like, I need help.
I don't know. I'm trying to think of another movie, but yeah, whatever.
It's it seemed like like an espionage kind of spy movie thing.
And then they get sent on this mission to Italy.
Roman wants to be the one to head it up.
Rome, Roman, Rome, Roman, Roman, Roman noodles.
Oh, I hate.
You got to do it. They do a lot of that.
And it was not funny.
Bomb. Yeah.
They should have put a fart sound at the end of that.
And you want I was doing interviews with like
with Ben Diesel before it came out. Yeah.
And it seemed like that's honestly a sin joke that he
he's strong armed into the movie.
And every and again, to your point, Danny, is no one's going to tell him no.
Because that's not like it could be a Tyrese thing, too.
And then there's and then there's this moment where he's in the garage
and he's having this solemn moment where I'm like, well, this movie is taking its time.
But he's like, he's taking a look at all the pictures.
I know what sounds awesome.
And and I was like, they're all like nice pictures.
And of course, a Paul Walker and all that stuff.
But some of them I'm like, how did they get who was taking these pictures?
Because they're literally just pictures from past movies.
There's a movie, a picture of a shot of like the cameras outside of the car.
And like, I'm like, who's taking that picture as it's like driving and stuff.
It was just cracking me up.
Yeah, they all like worn in and stuff.
I'm like, those are professionally done pictures.
Well, also to and then the music swelled up and I was convinced
he was going to start singing for a moment.
Then then Alba Leeta shows up and starts talking.
But the music's like swelling and he's looking at pictures and I want you to stay.
I felt a moment right there like, yeah, his garage is right back to his garage.
So the queues that he was given.
Did you ever watch those like the like?
He's got a lot of like, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah.
His pool house. Yeah.
It's the backyard.
And we've we've we've definitely talked about it.
Yeah. I don't know if we've talked about it on Mike, but we might.
I don't know. We might have.
But yeah, there's some videos that you can go check out on YouTube
of Vin Diesel in his pool house doing these very, very moody
performances of like Rihanna songs and shit.
And it's somebody made the joke.
And his wife goes to the store, he's just like sneaking on there.
Yeah. But yeah,
that's it's just embarrassed as hell by him.
He does this pose and his interviews off camera are very odd.
Like he he is an odd person,
but he's a very genuine, honest person, though, like
like a dungeon master, too.
He's really into Dungeons and Dragons.
And Paul Walker played wow when like the first movie
they were playing like wow together in their trailer and shit.
And just like, yeah, dunking on nudes and being cool.
And like in like at the same time,
I'm a genuine dork.
So they go to Rome.
What do we think of of Rome
where they release a metal ball bomb into the streets?
And you know, when I saw that, James, I was like, James
probably loves this because you're a big what's that car game?
The Rocket League reminded me of Rocket League.
I did not think of that at all.
I've been playing a little rock and legal lately.
And yeah, that's that's a fair, fair comp.
But you know, it was just fine.
I don't know if there was a minigame of this
like scenario in Rome of like this giant explosive
ball rolling through the streets of Rome and you're using a car to stop it.
I would play that video game a lot like you have.
But you're on the.
And anybody out there listening, go make that video game for.
Please. Thank you.
There's a Kickstarter that we can get.
I would play that out of that.
And like, I'm just saying, like
that Rome scene took somebody saying pinball with like cars.
Cars. Right. Absolutely.
It's just the thing that frustrated me about that scene is that the whole
like bomb diffusal turning off and on shit
was so confusing to me and like how it caught on fire
but didn't explode was so weird because like they set up the stakes like,
oh, this is a huge fucking bomb.
So then when it caught on fire, it's like, oh, they're all dead.
And then it just ends up just staying on fire because of like,
do you guys remember like why there's like some signal jamming?
Is that what the deal is? Yeah.
I mean, stuff like that, those large explosives, I'm not sure if they're
technically flammable, to be honest, like C4 and shit.
I'm not sure if it's like actually like flammable and or you need like
a some sort of charge to go.
What they call it is they call the neutrino bomb or whatever.
Oh, something. Yes.
That's silly. That that funk in that
ludicrous nose like from off the rim.
Oh, my God.
And clocks and it goes like, yeah, it's blue.
It's a N95 mask.
And what?
Yeah.
I think it's really good.
Luda, what do you mean?
But I just can't.
But but Brandon, to be real for a second, like, you know,
a a large implosive explosive bomb like then like the outside can be on fire.
It's all like it's like nitro or like it's I don't think that is true.
Are you ludicrous? Are you a bomb expert?
I think I think it's fair to say none of us know for sure, but I just I
was put that statement out there.
I just don't. I don't think
for a brand, I don't think it's like just a bunch of dynamite all in there
that if you light on fire is going to blow up.
I might be a little bit more like circuitry involved and suffer.
You just don't like light it on fire and then it explodes, you know, but
should level of my mind, my knowledge is like in this.
But this is a big dumb movie. So who fucking knows?
They don't. They sure as hell don't.
So they they didn't talk about it nearly as much as we're talking about it right now.
You know, nobody on fire who fucking cares.
It'll blow up later.
Right. Right. I see a flaming
giant flaming ball going down the streets of Rome.
And then, oh, my God.
But then we really see Dante in his element.
And some of the lines he's throwing out left and right.
Like, OK, I just kind of want to like start the conversation here
with you guys about his performance and whether you like it or not.
Like just generally and what you do and don't like about it.
Because I think if he wasn't as unhinged as he is,
even though there's no explanation for it, which is a bummer, it is like a
kind of is the best part of this movie.
OK. OK. Yeah.
Now, this movie would suck without a great.
If he was this stoic and having fun as well because of it.
But I don't think he knew that this movie wasn't going to
like what I'm saying is like that just takes.
It's got to be so tough to know because you read the script
and you're like, this is insane.
And then you get on set with Vin and he's like bringing you
the Shakespearean performance.
You're like, wait a minute.
Like, what is the tone of this movie?
I'm so thrown off by what you're giving me and what I'm reading.
It's not flushed out.
And he's just being told unhinged and have fun.
And he does. And and and we have fun as well.
But it's the reasoning and the depth behind it isn't fully there.
And even if it is something like Joker, where he his whole thing is chaos,
that doesn't really ring home because he does want revenge.
He does care. He cares about the revenge of his family.
But that never even really fully comes through about his love and that like
like how much he admired and cared about his father even and how much he cared
about his family and all that stuff.
But him wanting to take Dom's family like that is that is a pretty good
motive motivation and how he supplants Charlize is my own issue.
But overall, his like his craziness is fun.
He slices a dude's throat and drinks the blood.
I mean, yeah, I was I just was like, wow.
Look at that.
Oh, who?
Yeah, he just makes like like he's like fucking B movie show.
Yeah, I'm here for it.
It's yeah, it's exciting because the really is kind of like
the end of the week a little bit.
You can already feel of just like, oh, well, if Charlize can move aside
and he can step in, who can I really bank on being actually like the true
evil fucking villain that's not going to either change
side or commiserate with it?
You know, we're not such a mess up there.
Yeah, because I mean, you following it should have been at least.
I don't know what it would have been better for me.
So little happens with her in this movie.
She really just gets into like three fights and that's about it.
Like, sure, they are together with Michelle Rodriguez.
So that kind of puts them together and then puts them in like Antarctica
or whatever. And so, yeah, I guess.
Great. Now that team is together and they're figuring stuff out.
But what are they fucking figuring out? Just getting home.
Is that really their whole mission?
And why do we give a shit why Shirley Starran needs to get home
or go back to whatever founding that the ending of this movie was kind of like,
oh, OK.
Yeah, but I mean, if we can wrap up on Rome, I guess, because they and oh,
can I can I say one other thing, too?
I made I was telling Brandini this, but I made a kind of a grave error
where I watched the first half of this movie, got kind of like exhausted a bit
and then paused it and then, you know, was like, oh, finish it before the podcast.
In between that time, I went and saw I had to bring my car in to get to get fixed.
And and while I was doing that, I went and saw fucking Mission
Impossible, Dead Reckoning, part one.
And that was a bad move because it just showed this movie up on every level.
Just see what's really
yeah, everything.
And it has a Rome car chase, which is a fucking awesome, funny,
amazing car chase where and it uses that car,
the yellow Fiat from Castle Gil or so whatever the Miyazaki movie.
It it's like a little reference to that because he's driving this little tiny
yellow Fiat and then you get, you know, this and it's a funny this like
crazed henchwoman kind of not really femme fatale, just a henchwoman
who's played by Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy.
I don't know. I don't know the actress's name, but she is so good.
And reminds me of like a James Bond like, I don't know what's
who's the one that gets blown up with the pen?
Never and never say never again.
I think it is. Is it that one?
Just like or is it or the or even GoldenEye fought?
Is it Fatima and GoldenEye?
Yeah, like kind of her kind of just like a wow.
You don't really know why she's crazy.
Yeah, on the top.
Xenia. Yeah, you don't really you don't really need to know.
You know, she's just like, whoa, watch out.
And that has a character in the new mission possible to as well.
I don't know. I could go on and on the dialogue, the setup, the espionage,
everything, and it's a two parter as well.
You already know going in and it and then I went back and finished this movie
and I was like, oh, man, this is this is kind of rough in comparison,
but still fun in its own way, too.
I love the music, the hip hop, like music drops in this is like,
I don't know, going from like, oh, new location, cool music.
Oh, I don't know. There's something cool and fun about that.
I just I'm sorry, but the music for me drives me nuts
because it's so like generic, boring, like, you know.
But then like we don't know.
We're in the city or like some bullshit.
That's like you're excited.
Welcome to the city.
At this moment in time, though, like we can all close our eyes
and imagine a fast and furious scene transition,
where if you were say, we're about to go to Rio de Janeiro,
if you close your eyes, it's going to be like, yes, that then shot up
like up close, hot butt cheek.
Yeah. And then I hit the wrong horn.
I hit the sad horn.
I'm like, what are you doing to me?
Am I getting it? Yeah.
Am I trying my guy, guys?
Put them on time out.
OK, I'm done. I'm done.
All right. I'm done.
Somebody also like every single thing in the soundboard
that that you guys have programmed is also to make somebody feel like.
The air horn is the one thing that's like, oh,
80 percent of what we like.
Oh, I feel terrible.
I mean, there's a little
there's a little clap. There you go.
A little. Yeah, that's worse.
Things are going.
It's condescending. It's a little patronizing.
I love. OK.
You guys, there's a DeLorean in this movie.
Did you guys notice the DeLorean?
Is that what's a new DeLorean?
No, it was like it's a new DeLorean.
It says DeLorean on the front of the car.
And I'm like, is that a fucking DeLorean?
Was it in the Rio race?
So was it was to feature a electric vehicle?
And it it's actually aggressive.
It is.
And it's Charlize Theron's vehicle he uses to get from like,
of course, the scene of like whatever to go to run into the blood on VINC mailbox.
It's the most trivial moment in time is of all the like malignant or some
shit bullshit just happened and then is about to happen.
So this is the DeLorean right here.
Looks pretty cool.
Oh, yeah, it does look like a spaceship.
It does look fucking cool.
Like does immediately want one like we're.
You know, you got to have the doors open up like that.
Yeah, like they still call them like suicide.
They're not called suicide doors, right?
I feel like that's the only way that's probably insensitive.
Suicide doors are where just like the Kennedy.
Or like this.
Not the doors go like this.
They open one out and the other out and there's no.
Like suicide doors are so.
Well, that's how doors work.
Instead of a car opening like this and then like this, this is like.
That. Yes.
Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
OK, that makes sense.
OK, well, I'm not able to put into words what I was trying to say,
but now suicide doors are like a swing open
instead of a this this opens and there's a plunky bar right here.
Right. It's a very elegant.
These both open.
And again, it is the hearts of the suicide.
Yeah. As far as car design goes, like there's not really a vehicle out there
that doesn't look already good.
And that's why they do it.
It is it's it's it to for the body and chassis
to support the weight that it needs to.
If you can't do that, then those create a very big like
like engineering problem with the car.
I'm glad we got car talk in the fast.
That's great.
We got the chassis in here.
This is we know we're doing.
Wow. We're hitting all the.
Yeah, we're doing it right.
Boys. Well, OK.
They like to scrape a dude's head in an elevator.
At some part, I remember that there.
That's there's some bad ADR in this movie, like the Eastwood boy
like turns around in the house and is like he's like, oh, like
you assume that they're going to go to they have to go save them in Rome
because it's a fake mission.
He turns his head and he's like,
looks like we have to go to Rome.
It was like, wow, no, we assumed we did.
Did not need to say that.
Like we got it. It was like this audience didn't know where they were.
We're going to Rome now.
And like, yeah.
And then did you guys notice when
what's Miss Sandy from Game of Thrones?
She has this line.
And can you help me decipher what she means by it?
And and the delivery and everything like I just don't understand.
She like tells Luda something because they have a little rivalry in the tech
tech side of things, roles of things.
And she said something.
And oh, yeah, when she's talking about cars, I think it was like,
she's like, oh, that's not going to work right. I forget what
it means, she's because they're talking about the so Tyrese has a the gold like
God, what is it like?
Or shiny, shiny, shiny gold car.
And then Han has the like old school car.
And then she's like, based on the engines, this will handle better,
which is, you know, better for this situation.
And then she's like, wait, she says that.
And then Luda's like, huh?
And she's like, that's right.
I know stuff now.
Yeah.
Can you tell me what that line means?
Of her being like, I know about cars and stuff, because before she was all
she was all she was only tag.
Yeah, like everybody knows she's a stuff.
You know, I know cars. I know stuff.
Because it's such a like internet speak vernacular share where that's what
that's what the kids say.
Almost like didn't like, you know, yeah, I I do things and know stuff.
It has a yeah, I don't know where that it's exactly.
It just established something like now as in something happened.
And now I know stuff. I'm like, what happened? What changed?
Why do you know stuff now?
I guess you just spend more time around cars. OK, whatever.
And then and then don't forget that right after that line, then Luda goes,
will you marry me?
Hmm. Like, oh, oh, dude.
Come on. It's sexist in like two ways. Yeah.
Everybody loses.
And then Romans reflects the sun perfectly into
some guys eyes.
That was that was pretty, pretty interesting.
Masterful and perfect timing.
We reveal that the little like the little car,
it has a little bit it has a little little tash.
Yeah. Little Chris on it.
That's pretty fun. I like the little car.
I'm driving around. It's fun, too.
Yeah. And its use was fun.
And then here is the thing.
Like what did it do it like it shot up into the underside
like smoke, right? Like tear gas. That's fun.
Well, yeah. What was the strategy for me is we're like
like fucking Ludacris and and and
Ramsey is her name. Yeah.
Ramsey and Ramsey are sitting there talking about what's happened
and everything like they can fucking see it.
And this is Luda has this screen on it.
It's so funny to me from a production standpoint,
because instead of them, like all it is, is them on a ledge
in a sound studio.
And then they just have to like they're just like kind of spinning
the camera around to create like energy there.
But it's just two people fucking standing on a balcony
with a remote controller that has a video.
And then they're just like yelling into their mic or,
you know, into their little fucking radios.
I like. Yeah.
I don't I would love to see it behind the scenes of this movie.
You're right. Like now that I'm like really picturing that like
that that.
A lot of sound stages, I assume.
A lot of stuff. Yeah.
I'm sure at this point, the production and I'm sure
because of Vin making it such is. Yeah.
Like, well, now you have people.
There's a lot of times where you can easily tell that it's a CGI
screen around it, that it doesn't look good.
You know, it's just like Dante on top of the like, I don't know.
It is. It's almost like a clock tower type thing.
And that's where he's conducting all of his shit with the bomb,
which, man, has some crazy.
Have a security detail.
It just has the two hacker guys.
I'm like, wow, you don't have any like guys around to watch.
Yeah, I was going to know.
And he has to make a point leaving to of like he which cracks me up
because it's another thing of like.
Pre-due for guys, he leaves after he leaves them too.
And he's like, just remember, guys, I have your children.
And then the audience is like, oh, yeah, because then he absolutely.
Yeah, that plot device was also well, I mean, but also like,
I will say it was very like simple and to the point.
I mean, yeah, like that's what people are going to do.
But man, if all of them didn't have ability to like see and whatever,
who the fuck brings their like, you know, who's who brings their phone
with them on a fucking like shoot it like you're on a black ops mission.
You're going to have like your phone next to you like that.
Like, now, dude, like you probably shouldn't take your phone into this thing.
So much. There's too much tech stuff in this.
It really drives me nuts because it's some of the.
Oh, when all the guys have to answer the phone,
when Charlie's like like when you watch an analog movie
and the like an 80s, 90s movie where like their plot devices,
at least like once you bring like, oh, sounds into it, it becomes so boring.
Well, it's like you're like, oh, because computer and it's like that.
That how can no one wins that way?
Like, it's not interesting, not fun.
It's never fun to watch somebody.
It's great to have a tech guy that you can be like somebody over there
is doing this a lot, but don't drag any any of us into that.
Like, you're never going to make that interesting.
Unfortunately, like, look at like it drives me nuts.
Yeah. programming.
Go for it.
But like, it's not going to be fascinating to like, you know,
to bring people into and they've tried to do it time and time again.
How do we get into this, though?
Like, it's OK. So let's move on.
Yeah. I mean, to end like Roman
was never just past the period.
They didn't do this because I mean, we still got I mean, we've been
trying to get a lot of it already.
So I mean, I mean, to wrap up Rome, I just remember the Michelle
Rodriguez motorcycle stunt was pretty cool where she does that little
like stop and then flippy flippy over the over the thing.
And then how she also gets off that motorcycle is really sick.
We're like kind of shoots and slides from underneath her.
And then she goes into walking like it's like from the ground.
And then she's like, I forget that.
It was it was awesome.
I was like, yeah, like that.
How they even film that was like, God, and then she's the one that gets busted.
And then it almost takes her completely out of the movie the rest of the time.
You know, because she's in this like fairly certain in her
and these weirdo jails that. OK.
So you remember we brought that movie.
You guys, you guys made me watch that crimes of future.
Oh, yeah. Crimes of the future. Yeah.
Down and burn movie.
So you still haven't forgotten it, right?
It's like the words in your brain.
Well, then they're sitting there in that room and there's like a fucking like
like a laser surgery machine right there.
Exactly. That becomes part of my notes.
Yeah. It's like, what is this room?
Well, well, and it's just like that's like becoming a theme
in movies of like animatronic surgery machine.
Since Goldfinger, I was saying, I don't want you to talk, Mr. Bond.
I want you to die.
Now they're getting like like like like that, like that new
like that that new new judge that's freaking out.
He's a robot judge.
You know, it's like spirit.
Like, honestly, you guys tapped on to something that like
I'm not scared of a lot of movies or anything.
But like when you guys when I watch that crime of the future,
you know that back to the local.
Like, you're that's that Cronenberg guy.
Yeah. You can.
There's not a lot of blood that comes from it or whatever.
No, it's just a lot of open,
open like cavities in human bodies that you hear like organs squishing around.
Well, it's disgusting.
Really, I'm saying I'm not even that's not even it.
It's I don't like the feeling of a machine cutting me all open and shit.
When they when they had it on like auto slice
and then just like laying there, like kind of like casually
talking to each other and fucking or whatever.
And then that thing is just slicing them up like all willing.
That we've lost everybody.
Nobody, not everyone is.
Yeah, that's good.
Let's get back to fast.
That's good. Yeah, please.
Please.
We got a lot of.
To get you watch that movie.
And here we are.
I am not making you can talk about it further.
So let's continue.
You are making us talk about it.
So someone says we're one barbecue and a beer away from corruption.
Whatever. Because Brie Larson's three Larson's three Larson in this movie.
Let's get into that because we just got to talk about this, like
warehouse fucking sets where they go into exposition land.
This is called exposition exposition land, where these two characters in a void
get everybody on the same page before we move on to the second half of the movie,
which is just a quarter of a larger, you know, two part
fucking series that you don't know is going to be the case.
And then this this set is awful.
That's all I got to say.
This is this whole part.
I was checked out.
I was like actually like viscerally rejecting what I was seeing on screen
because it looks so bad and it looked like unfinished.
And it looked like just there's no way any of this is real.
And I was pissed off that Kurt Russell wasn't around.
I mean, Brie Larson was the Brie Larson was fine in this movie.
Like she fits.
She she fits like the nobody side of things like that whole world.
She's really good at action.
I don't know. She like she is.
Yeah. When she jumps on that car in the end with the gun, I was like, cool.
Yeah, Brie. Get in.
And then she also kicks those guys as I.
OK, I to go back into wardrobe talk.
So she wears in Naples, I think is where the bar is like.
So. Just to. Yeah.
To specifically talk about where we are in the story is three.
You know, Roman holiday, Brandon.
You think that?
Yeah.
Well, that's when that's.
Anyways, Helen.
I just wasn't going to say I'm sorry, Brandon.
I'm sorry.
The leather, the leather jacket.
Yes. No.
Hold on, Danny. Danny. Hold on.
The lab. It's I got to get this.
The the leather jacket that she has on is it says.
What is it? It's.
Don't kill my vibe or.
Oh, I can.
No chill vibes only. Sorry.
Chilled vibes only cool.
And I was obsessed with that jacket because it's so silly to me
that somebody has that.
Probably a bottle of wine or something.
Right.
She works for some secret organization in that jacket.
And so then there's actually a story about the jacket
is that Zin's daughter wore that jacket
and he loved it so much that he had to put it
he had to make it up for us.
It's just one of those things where it's just.
Oh, control.
Producing.
She's got to wear that fucking jacket.
It's so cool. Right.
Look at my daughter. She looks so cool in it.
You can admit you can also buy that jacket.
It just doesn't have the
the chill vibes on it, but there it's labeled from the company
as the fast or the Brie Larson or like the Fast and the Furious jacket.
And plenty of stuff like that.
I'm just surprised there's no corona's yet.
Yeah, we're probably sold out. Good for them.
And I want one now.
Like I'm going to get one for my daughter.
She I like. Yeah, I like her outfit.
Yeah. And jumping on that car was dope.
Who says game recognizes game?
I don't fucking that was silly.
Let's go to let's go to Rio de Janeiro and
and go into a race, a car race.
That's fun. Right.
We get a car race is like the best spot
that they always pop into as far as like like
this is the five connection, right?
I can see why they want to go back.
But it's like, I mean, how many times have they hit upon it, though?
Like, you know, they when they tap into Rio, it's always like it's an easy thing.
Look at the beginning of six.
They were there too, because leading after five, he's kind of like still with her
at the beginning of six and maybe seven.
I don't know. Six or seven, the one where it starts out with like
the backwards racing hot rod through the streets of Rio,
like for his his like that's nine.
You know, the last one were like the flashback thing.
No, no, no, no.
Where it starts like this is going to we're going to get in the weeds.
No, they're in Cuba. That's where it was.
That was Cuba. They're in like a Cuban street.
Yeah. Five is all that stuff.
And then he's like still with her, I think, at the beginning of six or seven.
And yeah, I think it's a great spot.
I think Rio's flashback to two.
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Oh, no, I'm just saying like I said as as different
like throughout the series, like there's like a different spot, like Rio.
I'm trying to like understand the
connection between him and the like distant cousin that they introduced us to.
That's his lady's sister.
Are you talking about? Yeah.
OK, so that's his baby mama's sister.
And that's the aunt of his little baby.
No, but I mean like the the cousin street racer that they're with the dude.
I don't think we've ever met.
I think I think everyone else is introduced that that night in.
He's new and fresh, too.
Uh huh. I think to my knowledge, I don't remember five a lot, but
this is a serious character.
There's a history between a lot of characters in this movie
that isn't expressed until they come into the view and they're like,
oh, hey, brother, I've known you my whole life.
John Cena, come on in.
And even when John Cena and Jordana Bruce are like, hey, hey, how you doing, sister?
Oh, see you later, sister.
It's like, oh, yeah, you almost forget that they're brother and sister
because they barely established that in the last one either.
But this race scene, I think it was in the at least especially the lead up to it was
one of the funner parts of the movie, too.
And this anytime, you know, you're you cut to night race.
I think that's always like a highlight of these movies and hasn't really gotten old.
And him rolling up with his whole crew in a genie outfit was the best.
My favorite outfit was his purple outfit.
Absolutely.
And I could sense that he actually his body was moving differently in that outfit.
Like when you have us, I know it's like the is that the Seinfeld episode
with like the jacket, you just feel different and like a nice jacket.
You can do things differently.
The outfit is wearing him.
Yes. Thank you, Bram. Yes.
And he's like, I'm around and stuff.
It's it's great.
I'm Dante on Shantae.
Oh, yes.
Sasha Sasha.
Hey, oh, man, everyone is behind him and he does the arms around everyone's guns
is such a cool image.
Like, oh, I love that, dude.
That is so hard.
Yeah.
So it's like crazy and fun and like adds to the character and is like iconic sort of thing
that I, you know, I don't know, I'm going to think of that image when I think of this
movie.
Absolutely.
And I mean, like, there's that like, I mean, this movie, like I said, like, especially
is starting to feel in that moment where it's bumping up against like how much of like what
I am like kind of laughing at and laughing with is also starting to like collapse in
on itself.
And like, I'm concerned about the franchise in that way is like, I think they've they've
cashed a lot of checks and banked on their own energy for so long.
But they're losing subs.
They're losing track of like what they even need to do anymore.
I agree.
Yeah, I agree.
Not sorry to get real for a second.
No, it's it's it's continuing to expand this balloon.
And I think that's troublesome when they do need to start turning the corner.
Yes.
And wrapping it up a little bit.
And this does not feel like wrapping it up.
They introduce a new fucking villain instead of wrapping up the Charlize Theron thing.
Charlize Theron takes I keep harping on.
I keep harping on that.
But it's like they're adding more.
And it's just like, oh, this needs to be wrapping up here.
And maybe you have the stakes of his brother dying.
But his brother just got introduced in nine.
So it's just like, I don't know, you maybe get rid of start killing off some legacy
characters, man.
Get real, even with Michelle, even the ones that they do kill, they're bringing back like
Michelle Rodriguez.
They brought back and whatever seven, six, seven.
And for the the returns at the end of this movie was like exciting in some ways, but
also kind of like, how are we going to get this on track here a little bit?
Because it's just expanding, expanding.
It's going to it's going to pop, folks.
I don't know. I don't know.
But I'm still I'm still overall having fun.
It's just I agree with you, Danny, where I think it is taking a turn into more convoluted
and less view of the characters.
Viewpoint into an ending and just expanding the universe more and more.
And I'm not sure they know what's happening if Vin is just calling the shots of like,
you know what, let's do a couple more when he wanted it to end ended earlier and he just
continues to push it further on.
Doesn't tell me that they have a clear identified ending even in place or how they want to
do it.
But, you know, yeah, overall, still having fun.
This race happens.
You can't buy the streets was one of the lines.
Can't buy the streets during the race the whole time in my mind.
I'm like, someone's got to be rolling up as a drab bag crooner anytime.
Just like then looking over at him just being dragged by.
No, you're not. Oh, you got to go faster.
I was thinking a lot during this movie and maybe it was particularly at this point.
This field, this felt more Michael Bay than any of the other ones have ever felt.
I don't know.
This is like, oh, interesting.
Yeah.
Oh, I can understand where you get that.
Yeah, because I made a note of that on a couple of situations where the camera does stuff
where it'll be like really up high and then it'll like come way down and like zoom in.
There was one I think I wrote it down as like shot goes up in the air.
This was in Italy goes up in the air, then comes back down to the manhole cover and then
goes through the manhole cover into the sewers where they are.
I was like, oh, see.
Yeah, like in cheesy thing, they're going into the sewer.
I was like, they really just pull that right there.
It's like the most cartoonish looney tunes.
Why does it say not Spanx Banks?
I don't even remember anymore.
Because of the money.
Oh, we could talk about.
I just don't even know.
I hate that scene so much with fucking Pete Davidson and that it's just like his energy
is weird, like because he's a bad guy, which is dumb, a dumb move.
He's supposed to be in control of the London Underground.
Underground.
Yeah, right.
And he.
So he's supposed to be in control of something like a very large and serious or whatever.
But then he is like the black market, I guess.
But like, yeah, you're right.
Like he should be a mobster instead.
He is like very hunched over.
I'm like, did somebody be like, you're too tall.
You have to because there's so much of him where he's just on the computer and it seems
like he's like really hunched over.
And you look like a high schooler in 42 at the same time.
What I'll say is such a cool hair like his bleached hair.
Right.
I think his hair is bleached and that just looks so, you know, maybe.
Maybe this played in England really well, though.
Oh, yeah.
Just crush.
Yeah, I doubt it.
I love Jason Satham.
Yeah, they're Davidson fans over on the other side of the pond.
The Jason Satham Han fight.
I thought something about the editing and the fighting isn't the best, but it was so fun
to have them reconcile their differences.
And that seemed like kind of fan service.
But also it paid off for me a little bit of like, oh, they are still kind of pissed at
each other and then they get to fight it out and then have them join sides at the end and
fight against common enemy.
That was fun.
That was like a night and then a nice little like Jason Satham reprieve, I guess.
And to have him show up was was cool.
And there's oh, I also have you.
There's three suicide squatters in this movie.
There's let's see John Cena.
There's Auntie to Little B is Ratcatcher 2.
And then fuck, who was the other one?
And there's someone else.
Why am I not thinking that you're talking about Jordana Brewster?
No, the sister to baby mama.
Oh, got it.
Got it.
Is Ratcatcher.
Damn it.
Who's the other one?
Why am I?
Why am I blanking?
Whatever.
I'll think of it.
Davidson.
Thank you, Pete Davidson.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, that is funny.
That's why I really talked about John John Cena and that whole thing, because I actually
enjoyed that of the movie.
There are parts together because I thought it was really fun and I was a little Brian
and Little B. Yeah, I loved it.
It's funny.
Yes, actually, like just as much as you're saying you needed Jason Momoa, you also that's
where that's a lot of emotional weight to it.
You know, the choice to kill off just when he was getting fun and cool to kill off.
John Cena just felt it.
It leaves a weird taste in your mouth because it seems almost disingenuous.
Like we had to make him really likable.
So then that way killing him is a bigger deal.
And also, it says they're scared to actually kill off any of the people legacy characters
that have been around for so long and actually leave them dead, which tells me that they're
scared for change in the franchise, which is just boring at that point, because it's
like you're not willing to shake things up.
You can only kill off the characters just introduced because he's not in it for whatever
long haul.
And they like have all this politics.
It sounds like behind these movies.
But it also begs the question, like, is this storyline of this like none?
I mean, none of the storyline is as important as potentially like Vin Diesel's ego.
Like, like what I'm saying is like, is his ego so big that then it influences the storyline
of these movies?
Absolutely.
100%.
Yeah, it's well documented that that's everybody's egos, but his more his most importantly, but
I think everybody is involved.
It affects it in some way.
But I mean, including The Rock has changed, you know, how the trajectory of these movies
have gone.
And so that being said, like looking at it just unlike a.
A story like a like a like a storyboarding and like a writing aspect.
How fascinating.
How fast and furious and eating.
He calls someone a butthole at some that's at one point.
He's like, you butthole Jason Momoa.
Oh, yeah.
Uh huh.
I love it.
You actually delivered that line perfectly.
You did it just like him.
Yeah, that was really wonderful.
He calls someone a butthole and does stuff at him.
It's like he's a petulant child.
I love it.
Uh huh.
He like never calls Dom Dami.
He's like, it's it's frustrating.
It's a little sexy.
My daughter like walked in halfway through and then got bored.
No.
I kept my four year old entertained.
Yeah, sure.
Because he's like a cartoon character.
Yeah, he is.
He's funny because he starts like dancing and then Swan Lake starts playing at some point
too.
It's great.
Uh huh.
Maybe it's a speech unlike the parlance of our times that like a movie about about power
explosions and everything else can't keep my daughter's like attention.
But on top of that, I didn't think it was going to get this deep.
Well, but it's also this movie has made big budget, crazy, wild shit, blase to a certain
degree.
Yeah, but I mean, it's a spectacle and you know it going into it.
So yeah, and that's fun.
And we enjoy that.
Yeah.
And the substance is slipping a bit, but it's I don't know, man.
It's a 10th movie like how much and it's just a soap opera as well at this point where they
got to check in on everybody and everybody's got to have something to do.
And at that point, it's not even a movie.
It's like a structure.
It's like a artifice rather than like something that's a living, breathing, moving thing.
It's just like keeps being built in like in a way rather than paring it down and finding
the most simple, like elegant way to do it.
Sort of like a mission impossible.
Let's I don't know, like it kind of just wraps up quick.
You want to talk about the last what's the last set piece is the damn right.
If you want to go on the damn tour, then you got to get in the damn line.
I love Vegas vacation.
I'm trying to get some damn bait.
What is there?
Is there anything before that?
Because I don't know.
I feel like we're going pretty long here and yeah, we can.
I would be remiss to not bring up the scene where Dante is having a conversation with
two dead people.
Yes.
We'll have a little wrap up.
I think we did a little earlier, but yeah, like say what you will about how bad shit
that was.
Yeah, crazy.
Before we talk, can you just can you explain to me what's happening in that scene to like
lead up to and what?
That is a plot device like that scene right there essentially is.
Yeah, because he steals their money, which causes because they are on the run that he
put them on and now he is freezing their assets to make it even more difficult for them to
to like run from the law, essentially.
Right.
And those are the two hacker guys.
So then in that scene of like, you know, they're like, what if?
You know, we're going to do all that and explain all of that.
It's just so much to be like, look how crazy he is because it's like, yeah, exactly.
So that's the yeah, I'm very frustrated with his sexuality in this because it's one of
those weird like stereotypes that has existed for a while that is really antiquated now
where like this essentially gay, the gay character is a weirdo.
Right.
And I think that's one note with the way it is.
It's so shallow and stupid because, yeah, he's painting his toenails and has pigtails
on and he is surrounded by corpses that he I don't know how he killed him.
Right.
But he put tape on them to keep their eyes open and shit.
It's so crazy.
That's not really a common thing in the Fast and Furious movies is to have something so
morose and graphic like that.
And well, suddenly this gangster's son, sorry to cut you off.
But suddenly this gangster's son basically from five is Buffalo Bill.
Like you know, like, like he's on that level for sure.
He's a sociopath.
Absolutely.
But it just doesn't feel worth it for me for some reason.
I like his performance, but the writing and and and doesn't doesn't make it feel like
it's unfair.
Yeah, it's worth it.
And there's a way to do that as well.
The mystery around someone also works if you know how to handle that as well.
But they gave him the backstory about the father and they didn't follow through on that.
If they had if he had just been some fucking random dude, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what it should be.
They they will did what they are here.
You're trying to they were trying to make something happen instead of like it feeling
organic at all or whatever.
But it's also like I would have bought anything.
So then the way that they explain it, like I feel like this whole franchise gets really
into the weeds at trying to explain stuff.
But it's like we're already there.
We already like, you know, if you're if you're not like, don't give it too much of a thought.
The first act dragged, man, I was already dragging as the as the movie was beginning.
And I'm like, we don't I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of this.
Like I know that in the fan service thing of like having a little bee drive, like doing
drifts at the I think that's the exact same spot that Paul Walker was doing in the first
movie of like overlooking the city and everything and doing and drifting the car is like, oh,
this feels good and this is nice and we can take our time doing this because this is a
franchise and people want to check in with with everything.
But it almost comes across, as you said, mistakenly, I think season the season of it does feel
like a season of Fast and the Furious, where you're just kind of like checking in on everybody
in the soap opera, where it's like you never know where it's going to end, but you just
get to check in with your favorite characters and spend some time with them.
I could have 20 minutes of like like Roman and and and Ludacris talking shit to each
other or something, then getting like super cheesy.
I was in this movie because like I'm trying to think, you know, what is the what is what
are we getting really set up and what is the characters?
Like odds of progression that is going to be the driving force behind the next two to
three movies.
Well, it is what we've been watching, like a friends building on day with.
Like are we supposed to be invested in this?
It's like like like Ramsey deciding which one of them that's been happening for a couple
of movies.
Yeah.
It's also like like like she's been hooking up with Ludacris and like on the download
and just like don't tell Roman she's definitely going to end up with Luda if you had to.
Yeah, I know I should Luda and Tyrese.
That's what I want.
Oh, fun.
It's my fan.
Yeah.
Good.
There you go.
Like, see, this is actually I like when they like and then when they come together and
like Luda's Tyrese is like, man, I fucked up.
Like I this was supposed to be my mission and I was a leader and I fucked up.
And he's like, you know why your leader is because you're taking responsibility for things
that aren't even your fault.
You paid in front of everybody and supported them and you're taking accountability and
then they still rib each other.
And then when they kind of like punch each other, I got a bitch and it was like, I don't
know, because he's like, he's like, I've been thinking he's like, oh, I thought I smelled
something burning.
That was funny.
That was pretty good.
He was overthinking.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
It's funny.
They're, they're a little back and forth is good.
Vin like launches his car out of the plane.
That was kind of sweet.
But yeah, again, it's like the same set pieces, five for whatever reason, it rings hollow
as well a little bit to me.
But him dragging those helicopters together is pretty cool.
But then he starts dragging the carcasses of the helicopter just like a safe.
Yeah.
It's the same thing.
We're going to do some shit.
And that's where I was like, it's like this.
That brought us to back to, you know, like that.
It's a little, it's fun, but it's regurgitation a little bit.
And then he actually swings one around and hits the vehicle with his son inside in such
a way that it's still, it's okay.
Then the kid jumps into his car and then Jason Momoa goes off to the side and then they just
roll up to a fucking dam.
Like it's just next set piece, you know, goes onto the next thing.
And this next like little last section set piece on the dam is fun and I enjoy it a lot.
And it reminds me a lot of Charlie's Angels, Full Throttle, which is like the opening set
piece of that movie.
Hold an eye.
Oh my God.
Fuck yeah.
But I'm by damn.
And Full Throttle.
Yeah.
Let's hear your favorite dam movies.
Vegas Vacation.
Avatar Last Airbender has something, but that's a joke.
I'll move on.
But in Full Throttled, like a helicopter falls down and they're in, they're like falling
with the helicopter and they got to jump inside the helicopter, get it started and like fly
away and stuff.
And I thought that was crazy.
But this one, hold my beer, hold my Corona.
He's driving.
So this is supposed to be.
Yeah, what a damn is it?
Where are they?
Who knows, man?
They're on nondescript roads and nondescript like, yeah.
This should be a specific dam, right?
Like we all would assume so.
Yeah.
Like it's like a river from it's still Rio de Janeiro, right?
So I think so.
How crazy, you know, would it be to like watch this whole piece play out if it was like the
Hoover Dam or something where like it's like, like we all know this thing and then you're
just like wrecking it all.
Like, like that's where like, let's blow it up.
Guys going to where like we're just watching people do like terrorist destruction levels
of like the Eiffel Tower and shit like that in the sake of like cars.
Oh, it's in Portugal.
Where are we going with this fucking franchise?
Like, like they're just like wrecking every city they're in, like, to some degree.
Like it's.
It's so weird.
And Jacob arrived by boat at Caius do Gingal outside Lisbon and head to safe house to meet
Dom.
However, circumstances forced Jacob to force to face Dante on his own and reveals a formidable
weapon in the form of his cannon car.
The I-25 Highway in Vusella and the A-24 Highway serves as backdrop for the ensuing car chase.
There you go.
Eventually, Dom and little B find themselves trapped at the top of the Al dia de vila dam
in Spain.
I guess it's in Spain, but it's supposed to be Portugal.
In a breathtaking sequence, Dom maneuvers his car down the side of the dam.
Dom and little emerge safely from it, just say little safely from the water, although
he had to leave his iconic dodge in the reservoir below.
Their predicament is not over as Dante detonates the dam.
Hopefully this extreme fast X ending will be explained in the last.
So much alliteration there.
We got what he's he had.
Dom's driving a dodge on a day.
Dante detonates the dam.
How fast?
12.
How long does Dom have to get to the damn bottom of the damn dam?
Did Dante do it in enough time?
And then we get fucking Gal Gadot and The Rock coming back here on the end credit scene.
I remember us living together, Brandon, and watching Fast Six together and me being very
sad about Giselle falling out of that airplane.
I'm like, it's inconclusive.
She's coming back.
I knew it.
I just knew it.
And seeing her, I was like, I was pretty, I was pretty happy.
An explosion, though, like, it's no, she like falls.
I mean, she should for sure be dead, but she's like the plane is like taking off and she
just falls into the darkness.
But it's like so inconclusive because it just goes she just goes into darkness.
But it is a plane going at like lift off speed.
So how are they going to explain that?
And I just wanted her to be like a mangled like, hey, big.
She's a cyborg.
Oh, that's sick.
Like she comes back with Idris Elba and they're just like, yeah, I'm here.
Oh, my God.
And she's on the side of Charlize.
She's a cyborg.
And there's like a connection there.
Oh, man.
Charlize rebuilt Giselle.
Please give me that.
And it's also insinuating that Giselle was right here.
Oh, absolutely.
I love that.
Yeah.
And I was 10 times happier for The Rock because that's another thing that's been
missing this movie in these movies.
Past couple of them so much is his humor, I think, and the Johns and John Cena's.
That was what was so great about this one is I don't know.
Like when he said some bitch, I about pooped myself because I was so excited.
Yeah.
I realized that it was because of the lunch.
And I realized this cheesy Gordita crunch is too much.
But let's let's move on to some reviews.
Fifty six percent from critics, 84 percent from audience.
Let's start with some negative critic reviews from the Atlantic with David Sims, a 25 out
of 100.
He says the sweet, coarse sincerity that once made these films sing is gone.
Faced with jokes and stunts that feel patched together from earlier, better franchises.
Taking up the task.
That Sims boy.
Wall Street Journal, Kyle Smith, a 30 hiring France's Louis Louis La Terrier to direct
was a bit like managing the pandemonium at a toddler's birthday party by bringing in
a soda machine.
This guy speaks.
Oh, what a simile.
Apparently, his his kids birthday party went bad.
Because I did that did not work.
Rolling Stone, Chris Wagner, a 30.
It's a numbing collage of fiery stitched together spectacles.
You can feel your IQ draining with each passing minute.
It's another stitched together word of the day.
And he was never a fan.
That's going to be a prevailing consensus, though, because, yeah, again, there's so many
stars in this.
It just does seem so disjointed because everybody's got to have their moment.
And it is just a patchwork of like, this is the Charlize and Michelle scene.
This is the memo scene.
This is, you know, and so on.
So sure.
But I mean, like, you know, like, we've already let this thing happen in the past.
Yeah.
And like, if you're there's certain, like, critic reviews where it's like, if you're
not if you don't get what this is by now, like that, don't give it like, you're not
like you're out of your mind if you're going to try and give this like a serious.
It's still an emotional weight, though, like, I don't know, like, let it coming back and
shit like losing her and her being evil and coming back like they realize what was good
about that.
But they're just draining it like dry rather than like mixing it up enough.
They've gotten a little there's a little staleness going on from variety.
Peter Dubruge 40, the terriers bad with story, but reasonably strong in the action front.
Characters are constantly jumping in and out of speeding vehicles in these movies.
And the terriers job here must have felt somewhat similar clambering aboard the juggernaut that
is the fast franchise in full steam.
It's another metaphor.
These guys are just rife with metaphor.
Yeah, he landed that plane.
I'll do, I guess, one more from critics.
Let's do enter.
No.
Yeah.
Entertainment Weekly, Christian Hullab.
Fast X wants all the grandiosity of finality while not actually ending anything.
Yeah, I thought that was pretty good.
We fully leave the whole movie itself and not like that ending is like shitty.
Like it did not make me excited about it.
It wasn't fair.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And doesn't like your audience sort of like inclination that that's going to be a way
to like leave the story because there's no I don't know within a two parter again.
It's impossible, man.
I don't know.
There's there's arcs works that are that are finished by the by the first half and they
tell you part one, which helps as well.
But it works.
And another movie that is a two parter that has a third is the Spider-Man Spider-Verse
movie and that even within that movie, as long as it is like has an arc within the second
one and you are excited for what's going to happen in the third as well.
I think there's just better versions even this year of movies that are part of something
bigger that don't make you feel like, oh, well, I don't even care enough.
Well, we're going to definitely see 11 versus like like like why?
Are we even here?
Then like, you know, you're giving us two recommendations of some of it's like at least
you're watching somebody with a vision do something and give you and hand you as an
audience member or something and not just say, here's a bunch of shit that I know you
already like.
Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, it was just a pure reactionary of like fan service of like, oh, if we show them these
people that's going to leave them on a good note rather than like that bullshit cliffhanger
sort of thing that didn't really even mean anything.
And it's also after it's a mid end credit scene to manage is just fucking played out
already.
But let's do just a couple of audience positive reviews.
Five stars from Beth Phillips.
In my opinion, this was an absolute, absolute cinematic delight.
First of all, I saw the film in the IMAX theater, which enhances the experience by a thousand
percent.
Secondly, I walked into the theater with a complete open mind, knowing that this may
be somewhat paralleling along the storylines from Fast One through nine.
However, however, it is this friend.
It reflected them referencing key elements and add completely new elemental aspects.
Not wanting to compare or contrast, I watched this film first film of Fast X completely
open minded.
The film blew my mind with the action packed scenes and tugged on the heartstrings with
the characters, the memories, the heart behind the words and moments that were meant to be
cherished.
Fast X surpassed a lot of my expectations and was more grandeur than I expected it was
going to be.
My heart was racing through certain scenes and felt the adrenaline coursing through my
body.
I have a young family.
I have a young family and normally all my movies shows are revolved around age 10.
This was a fantastic experience seeing the film in IMAX where the 270 screen and surround
sound amplify your senses.
I loved the threads that gave life to Paul's legacy and the poignant characters that show
the legacy continues on to the next generation.
Well done there.
I loved how there were reflection moments, but instead of the classic flashback type
scenes, innovative ideas to weave the past into the present were used in those scenes
portraying memories.
Epic.
The humor was more subtle and you needed to hold that space for it.
It was there and those moments were hilarious.
The fight scenes between fast family members interesting element in this film.
So many appearances of fast family members.
It was off the hook.
Gal Gadot returning was the best and I love little B. He's truly an up and coming star
of the next Jan.
Best scene was Dom and little B in the car for so many reasons often on screen.
Those precious moments portrayed between Vin Diesel and little B touched the deepest part
of my heart and some tears might have been on the surface.
Cliffhanger check.
Yup.
Thumbs up.
Extremely well done.
And now we await the next installments of the saga.
And in the interim we can watch and rewatch all the fast movies up to and including fast
acts 19 more times.
Let's go.
Thank you to the entire team crew and cast for this incredible, incredible, incredible
cinematic delight.
Beth Canadian flag emoji.
Fuck yeah.
If you start to beat that.
Oh yeah.
I mean, God, my review of this is going to be incredible review.
Yeah.
I might just have to leave it over chat.
GPT wrote that I would have like believe that too.
Like that was, that was wild.
I don't know.
Just, I don't know.
So much on the, yeah, the humanity and the, uh, the relationships, the father son relationships,
all of that heartwarming stuff in there and highlighting that is really wonderful.
Um, I'll add that.
I'll just do one more because that was a pretty long one from super Maddie zero H five stars
fast sex is an absolute fever dream of a movie and I didn't want to wake up from it.
If you're looking for a realistic, serious or Oscar worthy in your movie, this will not
be it.
However, it is still worthy of a great time with friends and family between the outlandish
action and gravity defining gravity, defining stunts, defining the gravity that is beholden
to us all, uh, that even Marvel would dock at in the downright evil yet disturbingly
charming villain, Jason Momoa.
But there is an adult moment production knew exactly what this movie was and they delivered
on all the wacky whimsical scenes where we've all come to love or hate that the franchise
is known for.
There are plenty of callbacks to past movies along with a number of returning characters
you may or may not remember, but Hey, anything can happen when it's family.
Overall, it is a five out of five.
As long as you leave your expectations at the door and just have fun.
Did you say expectations?
If you leave your fast expectations.
Uh, yeah, that was a little sample size from that.
What do you guys, you guys, uh, feeling about the polarization here?
Do you think it's well founded in the round tomato score?
Do you think that even my sampling of those reviews can strike like a overall feeling
that because this isn't the only polarizing movie, there's a few other polarizing ones
within this franchise that we had considered like three or four, uh, destroyed ones that
we were going to do, but it thought it'd be fun to do the most recent one.
Um, even the very first one was polarizing.
So I don't know.
According to Ron tomatoes, it's, it's tough, but it does seem much more populous, much
more audience sort of blockbuster fun, uh, movie for people to have a good time and action
scenes and everything.
And typically on our podcasts, I feel like we found, yeah, like critics, uh, sometimes,
uh, turn their nose a little bit at some of that stuff and look towards more artfully
done stuff.
But, um, or I mean, they love action movies as well, but it's just gotta be a certain,
certain brand.
I think, uh, and they've, and they've really loved other ones in the past, like I believe
like five, six and seven, I think are overall favorable in their eyes.
And I think just when they, when you start to see bloat and things going a little, a
little big and yeah, then it's, uh, then I think it's going to turn a bit.
But do you guys, do you guys feel that turn at all that these critics are feeling?
I mean, me personally, yes, absolutely.
This is the first one in a while that I'm like, Ooh, I don't think I like this at all.
And we, you know, uh, it made me also concerned to, to talk about the ending again is like,
it made me concerned about the next one.
Cause I was like, Ooh, fuck you left it on this.
I mean, where, yeah, I just, I'm not really that excited about where it's going to go
because I don't know really where it's going to go because everything has been so generic
and vague and just, you know, it's hard to have faith that it will resolve itself at
all even, you know, right?
Zero faith that that's going to happen.
So let's say you're kind of feeling critics side.
Yeah.
I think I might be more on that side too.
Danny, why don't you kick off final thoughts, give it a, give it a score out of 100 Ron
tomato style out of 150.
I mean, this is a Justin Lin picture so you can do the Justin Lin scale if you'd like.
Yeah.
If you, if I get to start this motherfucker off, I am honored.
And you are the guest here, sir.
Just like myself.
Let me tell you where I'm at with this fucking movie.
Thank God.
Like, especially while you were like reading these dudes reviews of this movie and stuff,
like there was certain people where I'm like, you're not allowed to like, don't you talk
about this franchise?
Like, I felt very like fucking like, Oh, protective.
Yeah, because it's like, look, man, like if you, if you don't just like appreciate what
the fuck this is, you know, like we're at 10 of these goddamn motherfuckers and like,
getting spicy with it.
You're with this thing or you're not.
And like, look, man, just like, look, I grew up, my family has season tickets to the chargers.
You're what?
You're family San Diego chargers.
And so like, if you can like, imagine like, you know, once you're like, I'm a fan of this
thing and I'm ready to see where the fuck it gets weird and where it goes.
And like, I can't always be proud of this thing.
I can't always, but I'm with it here and here.
That's the only review I really want to read.
What season is this of the chargers?
If you had a fast 10 equals the chargers in late nineties.
I just think anybody who like is like, like any of these reviewers that like are like,
like let me tell you about the Fast and Furious.
Like if I can't read what they had to say about one, two, three, like all the way through
it then because if you're just reviewing it at 10, it's dumb.
And what I'm saying is like, if you were to look at this thing, this thing has become
such a fucking like strange thing that if you were to watch it from where is that if
you judged Fast the Furious 10 at just a movie critics are doing.
Avengers end game.
What the hell is going on?
This podcast, we pick a movie and we review it.
And so I was, I'm going to say like, if you had no idea about anything about this franchise,
like if you were like, if your head was so far up your ass, you'd have to be under a
fucking rock to not know about this movie.
Like literally.
Well, are you calling our listeners?
Oh, if they're this far, they definitely know about this movie.
Nobody listens to your podcast that has never heard of Fast the Furious.
So who are you?
OK, so you're just speaking to just.
I'm saying if you were to judge this movie completely objectively without any like knowledge
of any other movie before it or whatever, if you were just to watch this movie as a
brand new movie.
It's a franchise.
I mean, insane, crazy thing, and then especially if you were to broke.
If you were to read the 10th book in a series, I'm sure too, you know.
Yeah.
I don't know what point you're.
Yeah.
What is the point?
First thing I was like, is he reviewing the movie?
Sorry.
OK, yes.
This is my review is what I'm saying is like what they've what they've come and made or
whatever, but they have like made us fall along with and like anything 10 movies deep.
I don't know if there's any like film or like play saga or whatever.
There's like 10 things that have made people follow along for this long.
At this level of magnitude that isn't like, you know, a book, dog or something.
Star Wars has even gone to 10.
They have side shit, but side things.
But episode nine, that's all they got.
I mean, there's got to be fan fiction of Fast and Furious.
That's where I'm sure this is the world phenomenon or whatever built out of like just people
stealing fucking DVD players.
Like it started with like people like robbing people and stealing DVD players and like like
the first episode.
If you like this movie or don't like it.
I think it's just giving the history of the franchise.
Let me tell you about 10 things.
I'm very nervous about like where it's going to go and everything.
It's like I'm very nervous about what you're going to do and where it's going to go, because
it's like I feel like they've done everything exhausted to the point.
And like now everything feels like, you know, to that fight throughout the Toretto house,
which like fuck, man, you make you bias into your whole fucking like this is your world
and this is your fiction.
I watched John Cena trash around your house like it was fucking like made out of paper.
I mean, that house was blown up at one point, too, and they fucking rebuilt it.
I love that movie does where he shoots the wall and then gets behind that wall to then
shoot through it.
I thought that was going to be man.
Most valuable part.
And I swish cheese that wall.
And then also, like I also want to bring up like, you know, I'm sorry, this is like in
my final thoughts, but like like they have like the progression of like where.
The construction value of any building or whatever that they are around is like paper
like.
I am so glad that you brought that up in your review, the integrity of buildings and your
I know you always talk about this.
These guys just.
I mean, he throws a guy through the ground of the house.
That was cool.
But I mean, you loved it.
Malignant Malignant got one hundred fifty percent.
Someone felt.
Yeah, of course.
See, that's what I'm saying.
He.
He go on Danny over here.
It's always like.
What are those walls?
I haven't given my full review.
You have no idea what percentage this baby's going to.
I honestly have no idea.
I can't tell if you like it or hate it.
Here's what I'm going to say.
What I do know is 10 as a number is confounding to you.
Also, like, you know, I I love that you guys are in like I'm sorry that this is my review
and it's taking forever, but I also love that you guys are in our way.
I need you guys as sidebars to to this, especially like, all right, if one of you can tell me
what like the budget of Malignant versus this movie.
This is one of the most expensive movies ever made.
The budget for this is three hundred and fifty eight million, I think.
And I don't believe that's including it was pretty modest to like all things considered.
It was like, yeah, all year, 30.
Well, all things awesome.
I'm not.
I sounded so confident in that.
I know.
Oh, you just bullshit that.
Oh, God.
I think I read that, but like a fair amount.
I hope 40 is 40 million.
I mean, it's so but like for Justin Lin, he can get more than that.
Yeah, like it's not me.
I'm so insane.
The second I said, I was like, no, I just heard that.
I don't know.
But like, isn't that sad?
The house.
So what's your point here then?
Yeah, I said this is a new point.
And what's the point now?
You're in a review right now, right?
So you would have picked the tenth one out of all of them.
That would be crazy if you were to compare this and Malignant.
That's also interesting.
But even so, honestly, where isn't it interesting how walls work in construction really actually
becomes very small.
So what do you think of the movie of this movie and then what they did and then what
they tried to accomplish in like my it doesn't matter how much you can throw at the board,
how many people you introduce and how much money you have to spend.
My problem is at a certain point, the wheels start to fall off with.
Hmm.
OK.
This is all right.
Yeah.
And you like that or don't like that?
Oh, like finally, I'm watching my trashy shit that I like to watch.
Just like, yeah, it's all two dimensional fun.
Yeah.
And you fall into like at a certain point, you need to get it together.
Like what are you doing?
What are we really?
And I feel like that's what 10 has become is I'm watching it all.
The shit is hitting the fan and I'm watching it all smashed together.
It's like, oh, no.
And like, like, as look, we've all laughed.
Either either you're laughing with it or at it.
But at a certain point, we cry.
We cried.
But it's also like, like, look, he's like Nicole Kidman, AMC.
Heartbreak feels good in a place like this.
But but also like, I mean, this man has brought a fictitious.
So the child he has little Brian or whatever.
But like just like the nuance and like complicatedness of it all.
It's like he nicknamed he named his new son.
We're still alive and we all know he's dead.
And then also like Brian looks like a piece of shit by the end of this movie.
If Brian's still alive, he looks like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
Everybody else in this life, this guy's life has ran into like traction and treason and
everybody is at like the very like limits end of whatever.
Now you've written yourself into this character that can't be there.
And then you have to explain why he's not there while everybody else is doing the best
they can.
And Roman, like like the way they wrote Roman's character was to just be like, I have a bunch
of money and like then we're all going to laugh at him for that.
But like they they have people to do a lot of shit.
And then it's written so that.
That is a lot of people to do a lot of people do a lot of it.
Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, what is your score for the movie?
Daniel, Daniel, Danny, what is your score, my friend?
Yeah, 94, a 94.
Oh, did like it.
Wow.
Nice.
That was a shocking reveal because you know, I didn't like this movie.
It still gets a 94.
This is the malignant scale.
No, 94 out of 150.
The linden got 150.
That's right.
Where this still gets a 94.
This 94 is not for Vin Diesel.
This 94 is for everybody else involved in this movie trying to do something.
That 94 is for fucking all the especially behind the scenes and everything else.
All the people that came to play like your we talked about the cinematography and the
filming of this movie is like so complicated to just do this guy's vision of whatever the
fuck he wanted.
But like and to rob us of like we can talk about storyline or anything else.
But the magnitude of these movies is huge.
And I will say like I'm I'm never going to want to not stop watching these movies.
If you made me put that 94 up against all the other movies that they made.
No, like I don't know if that's arguable.
Like when it comes to between the fast 10 movies that 94 drops, it's probably one of
my one of my low fives like in the in the low half of like the fast movies.
But I will say 94 in the sense of like Jason Momoa and all the different people coming
to play and how much fun I had for like fucking two and a half hours of this whatever and
shit man.
It provoked my thoughts.
Oh yeah.
That's great for your bottom bottom five of the Fast and Furious franchise.
So get a 94.
I mean, that's that's means that you really love the franchise.
You're you're for the long haul and you're invested in the series.
And there's so many franchises now that it's it's tough, I don't know, to be fully invested
sometimes, especially something going to 10.
So that's we're all concerned.
Like I think we were all starting to say that.
Yeah.
Let's hear from let's hear from Mel Brandini.
Yeah.
All right.
Sorry, that was like 20 minutes.
Yeah, it's OK.
Yeah.
Like I said, towards the end of this, it was just.
This movie really was one in a while because yeah, you know, kind of what Danny was alluding
to in a quarter of that was this movie, this movie and this franchise is, you know, this
big budget, silly action movie stuff.
And I have been on board with it.
But this was the first movie where I wasn't really on board with the movie.
And it was a weird place to sit because I've just loved this franchise for so long.
And yeah, it's.
It's a bummer.
I don't know.
Yeah, I'm concerned about the future of this franchise.
Highlights for me was honestly, Jason Momoa was his levity to this, even though I didn't
like the.
Very stereotypical stuff that he was doing or having him do.
God, yeah, if he wasn't in this, this movie would have been a huge fucking snooze.
It's really so he's a highlight.
The John Cena little B stuff was worked really well for me.
Fun character stuff, you know, little B, because there's a lot of this there scenes together.
We're talking about little B being like, oh, my dad is such a superhero.
And I don't know if I'm going to live up to his expectations.
And John Cena telling him like your dad loves you.
It's OK.
You know, just being you is OK.
And that was a really sweet message.
And I liked a lot of that stuff because we needed that because there's so little that
is happening with like there's really nothing that's happening with Dom in this movie.
Like I don't know what he's really going through.
Sure.
Yes, he's concerned about his family being in peril.
But like that's that that's such a general big sweeping thing that hasn't it really.
He has not a lot to work out.
Like he's always been doing that.
OK, big deal.
He's got to save his family.
And it was just so hollow and shallow.
Seems like Hercules.
Yeah, like he's like he's like human, but like something else to.
He's like, oh, yeah, he's like dealing with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He's just bogged down by, you know, gravity and gravity defining shit.
Yeah, that's a gravity is a very, very if you divide this, this saga movies as like
a man struggling with gravity.
It's a very interesting way to view this whole fucking man.
You know, something that I really didn't like in this movie, though, is all of that like
Mr. Nobody like organization stuff.
Fucking P you do that out of my movie.
I'm just like so over it.
I mean, James, you said it like the start of that is you're in this void, this blue
screen void that looks like dog shit for a movie that's so expensive, so fucking expensive.
Not only does this movie feature features parts of other movies in it, it has scenes
that look like shit.
The part like the beginning of Zoolander with Mugatu and like there were there telling them
to kill the prime minister of Malaysia looks better than the fucking nobody.
Right.
With all the people's faces on screens like the Zoolander scene was better.
I would argue that the commercial that he's in where he's promoting the water in that
movie looks better than this fucking scene when he's a merman.
That looks better than this bullshit scene in this movie.
Hey man, water world from fucking nineteen ninety five looks better than like also getting
the
yeah I don't know.
There's not a whole lot that I did like about this movie.
There were some shiny moments in it and yeah, made me really like worried for the franchise
because even so to complete my review is the car scene was a good example of the microcosm
of this movie of like why I like it and why I don't like it is I like the fact that they're
doing a car scene.
We're on the ground.
We're having a race.
But then this movie cannot fucking help itself by incorporate the race doesn't.
It's not a race like they're not going through the city racing.
It is just a straight line that ends up being resolved by getting blown up by gadgets like
the fact that the fact that it couldn't let just a race happen, it had to have this gadget
bullshit is just is my problem with this movie.
It is gotten to the point where it cannot help itself from being this like it needs
to do these things that really it doesn't.
I would argue it doesn't need that.
It doesn't need more.
I think that's what we've talked about is it definitely doesn't need more.
It needs to start resolving stuff.
Sure, I can understand wanting to get this more grounded a little bit, but God damn it.
You didn't do it because you couldn't help yourself on in a situation like the car racing
scene where it ends up being like, actually, no, it's not a race.
I'm going to blow both of these people up and win.
Like, OK, whatever.
So I'm sorry.
I yeah, this movie frustrates me.
I'm going to give it I don't know.
I'm going to give it like a 32 percent.
Wow.
Yeah, that's a that's a big dip for you because I know you and I have bonded over these movies.
And I mentioned us when we like live together and everything, too, we would start watching
them like I think right after five and everything when they started getting really good and
going out to see him in like theaters.
And I I'm right there with you, Brandini, on a lot that you that you said.
And overall, I've I've found this ringing more hollow rather than.
Like amping it up and anting up like the stakes and the the tension and the action and everything.
I already knew that it's hard to beat going to fucking space, like going to space in number
nine and having his brother come back is like that was that was tantalizing.
That was interesting.
That was cool.
That added that made Charlize Theron still around as a villain in the background sort
of way, but not change her nature and have him kind of be almost.
I feel like he's been you remember the full but he's like essentially like blackmailed,
right.
And it's almost like kind of like like lady or whatever.
She's got whatever amnesia.
That's a classic soap opera thing.
But I don't know.
That stuff is fun having to fight against family and all that like works within the
movie.
But I didn't really have anything going for it in terms of a hook for me because I as
good of a movie as five is, I didn't find that storyline needing to be revisited, especially
the set pieces.
I found that kind of played out and regurgitated sort of set piece that somehow again, I'd
have to watch Fast Five again, but it looked worse in this one.
Everything was blown out and bright and everyone is just like sticking out like, you know,
just a Marvel DC superhero or something like that in a very like green screen sort of set.
The worst case being obviously the nobody thing.
And that stuff never really bothered me too much because it was just a goofy little like,
oh, like we're this like secret secret secret like thing behind the scenes and the rock
was involved and like Russell and shit.
And it's like, oh, that's like legitimacy to this.
And Brie Larson was good, but that set made me just laugh.
And then the other guy, I did not care for him either.
And that had the big turn at the end that made me more frustrated than sort of like,
oh, wow, that was an interesting turn.
It was just kind of like, whatever.
I want to care about this at all.
Yeah.
And like Hobbs and Shaw, that one was like a great one off, you know, eight and nine,
I think, waned a little bit past seven for me.
I think seven was a high, high point in my mind.
But you guys, you guys touched on a lot of points.
It is it is bloated.
It is disjointed, especially when they know that they can stretch it to two movies.
They took advantage of the audience instead of using that as an as an advantage for themselves
to tell a story that requires two parts.
I got the feeling that it almost doesn't.
And they're just stretching it to stretch it because it's not written tight enough.
And you just feel kind of cheated when they use very cheaply the resurgence of these characters
that you thought were gone.
The Rock's reasoning is never even fully established.
And Gal Gadot is just kind of like coming into the submarine with Letty and this fucking
evil person that, you know, it just made me feel like unsure and weird rather than like
interested to see what happens next.
Still going to see the next one.
It's a action movie.
You know, it's it's if you're looking for big, loud set pieces and dumb action and everything,
it has that.
But it just doesn't do anything different enough from the other ones to make me mark
this as one that's like higher up in my list of favorites, namely being, yeah, I think
six and seven are my sweet spot.
So as far as a rating, it would be like a 50, 60, I think, for me, because I think it
was.
Action an action movie that was enjoyable enough on the very surface level, like very,
very surface level.
But I have a hard time like really establishing if it's like fresh or rotten.
And I think I'll do like more like a high 50, like a 57 and do like more of the rotten
little bit, little bit more of the rotten side, I guess, if I get to pick a stinker
out of the fast bunch.
But you know, I for I remember being boring and shit to you, but you know, we saw two
together too fast, too fierce together in movie theaters.
Brandon, we were young and that was that was a fun time.
And goofy 2003.
Damn, dude, real 13 year olds.
That was perfect movie for us to see.
And slowly for now, I got a little game if you guys want to play.
I know we've been going long.
Do you want to take a break before we do?
Absolutely.
I know I've I know I've spoken a bunch, but like, can I take a moment to especially after
hearing both of you guys reviews, just make a statement of like, man, how much I've kind
of like screwed up my rating scale.
It does not matter, dude.
It's OK.
I fucked mine up as well.
I've like think back on my scoring and being I know.
Yeah.
I honestly don't feel that, but whatever.
To a hundred and fifty boondocks, it's been a big one.
I'm like, I have actually I think that movie is bad, but since I'm listening, that's what
has become like my weird new rationale.
I like.
All right.
So when I said ninety four, but then like I have to put it up against now, I've made
myself into this weird little niche of like, it's OK.
Well, as long as you're speaking from your heart, that's all that matters.
Like don't get bogged down in the like minutia of like, you know, this is this score.
This is that score.
And given some fair scores to when you did like unhinged and shit like you're on the
same page.
But but then also like, no, no, no, I stick by my score.
It's more than that.
Yeah, Mr. One fifty.
Now when I give something this, then it's based off of like, well, I broke 100 percent.
And now like like now.
Just move on.
Yeah, we're good.
Yeah, just move on.
I'm excited about it.
I'm good.
Good.
Like look, I'm fun and weird.
I have to like work.
Yeah, we'll check in on Fast 11 if we'll see what kind of score that.
Yeah.
But for now, I have a little game of review blitz.
Oh, this is a new game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We I tested it out, I think, on you guys last time, kind of off the cuff.
And this one's going to be a little bit more of the same, but it does have a theme.
What I am going to be doing is I'm going to have pick a movie.
I'm not going to tell you the name of the movie.
That's up for you to decide and guess what I am going to do is I'm going to give you
reviews of this movie.
And it's you have to figure out what the movie is based on.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The theme and I'm going to give you a hint right off the bat just to kind of make it
a little easier and more straightforward.
The theme is franchises, and I will be going in order of the franchise number.
So the first one will be the first in the franchise.
The second will be a second in another franchise.
The third will be a third in that franchise as well, if that makes sense.
So this first one will be the first movie.
And I'm going to put that in quotations as well.
So let's start with negative review by the critics of this first film.
Let's see here.
Pull up some here.
From slant, Callum Marsh gave it a zero.
It's difficult to discern precisely where this all went wrong and even more difficult to
speculate speculate about possible improvements.
Jay Hoberman says with the 20 is simply a billboard for itself.
Anyone who sees it will be experiencing it for the second time.
The hype was not about the movie.
The hype was the movie.
This is tough.
I'm going to keep going.
I'm going to keep going Spitfire.
So yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's like that could be anything.
Yes, definitely.
These are going to be vague enough.
I'm going to do a negative user review.
Let's see what they have to say.
Keep them coming.
Dear George, the story was OK, just OK, but the very boring race and the failed tries
to be funny just made it a long annoying movie.
Just a couple of couple hints there.
Dear is it Mad Max?
Fury Road, dear George and I put quotations on the first one as well.
Are you brand?
Max?
No.
Wait, you're on you're on the you're on with George.
You're thinking.
OK, OK, OK.
Is there like a is there a are we saying like what year or anything is this?
You're just saying the movie.
I will give you here.
You want to like train running it fucking the camera to like present day.
This could be any movie said dear George and the race was really long and annoying and
it came out.
I'm going to give you the year.
Nineteen ninety nine.
Thank you.
This is sci fi action.
OK, I'm a.
I'm going to keep going with reviews.
Let's do one more negative audience review them and do some positive reviews.
I'm so just going like you're going to keep throwing stuff at you.
Was that one of the worst movies I've ever seen with dull writing, dull characters, a
dull plot.
This movie makes staring at a wall more fun and exciting.
It is.
I know what this is.
I know what it is.
This is it's Star Wars Phantom Menace.
Nailed it.
One point for Brandon.
Nailed it.
Wow.
I've read this review.
This guy like episode one, everybody.
Episode one, not the first movie made, but it's episode one of the franchise.
The George thing really narrowed it down to like it's got George Lucas then because he's
the only one that's really done a bunch of franchise.
Yeah.
Well done.
I'm going to do this and I'm going to I can switch to positive reviews quicker.
I'm going to do this game.
Let's do actually we'll start with positive critic review for the second movie, which
will be the second in the franchise of this movie as well.
It's a 100 from Roger Ebert with a Chicago Sun Times.
Whoa.
Okay.
Birmingham with invention and new ideas seems to expand and deepen before our very eyes
into a world large enough to conceal unguessable secrets.
What a glorious movie.
Back to the future too.
Negative.
Good guess though.
Let's see here.
Lisa Schwartzbaum Entertainment Weekly.
Among all the things it does well, it indeed deepens the darker, more frightening atmosphere
for audiences of all ages who are already familiar with the intricacies of the landscape.
Aliens.
Yeah.
Yes.
I can give you the year as well.
Sorry.
I think that would help.
It's a weird thing to want because I think it's just so broad at that point.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
2002 fantasy adventure.
And now I'm going to switch up some reviews here.
Let's do positive user reviews.
It's like, you know, which are the king?
While it's not my favorite blank movie, seriously, what's with the low user score?
It was just as good as the first one in better than the third and sixth ones.
Okay.
So then this would be it.
Here's another one from cry hard humor.
It was a seven.
It moves like the book it was based on.
And with that comes both positive and negative results.
Luckily they are mostly positive.
The acting is surprisingly solid considering the actors are all kids and the directing
is capable enough.
Fantasy adventure 2002 second movie.
Like Harry Potter.
Yeah.
Goblet of fire.
Like it's a secret.
Okay.
There you go.
You got it.
Brandon, it's too.
You guys got the Harry Potter thing, though.
It's first to three if you guys want to keep going.
I guess.
Yeah.
No, I'm really enjoying the game.
Like, you know, bad.
Oh, yeah.
This is going to be the third in a franchise.
Yeah.
The third movie.
Let's go to kind of middle of the road.
Critic reviews here.
Oh, thank you.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Just give you double double points for it.
It does help a lot.
Yeah.
I was like almost like you guys should get double points in that first round if you can
go 2001 sci fi action.
It's the third movie Los Angeles Times.
Kenneth Turan gave it a 60.
The sheer physical presence of these creatures is much more believable and convincing than
what can be generous, generously characterized as the film's plot.
The sheer physical presence of these creatures is much more believable and convincing than
what can be generously characterized as the film's plot.
And weekly Owen Gleiberman gave it a 50 has no pretensions to be anything more than a
goose bumpy fantasy theme park ride for kids, but it's such a routine ride.
No TV Guide magazine.
Ken Fox gave it a 50 while kids of all ages will want to see it.
The movie is loud and occasionally brutal.
And while the body count is relatively low, it's still pretty scary stuff.
This is.
Yeah, I know.
San Francisco Chronicle mixed LaSalle 50.
This is a monster movie.
Okay, 92 minutes, lots of action, lots of green legs stomping.
Get in, get out.
What is this?
Man, you're actually like hitting on like a.
There's some there's some hints coming.
I'll move over to user side of things and see if they have to say.
Let's go with.
Do do do.
Oh man.
From Michael C. Let's see here.
A highly plausible and money making cinema event.
It succeeds mostly because it doesn't try too hard to be a sequel to blank.
It seems like a film all on its own.
If I had to complain about something, the kids story is far too unbelievable to trick
even the dumbest viewers and the characters sometimes do stupid things.
Despite that, I really enjoyed blank and it kept me highly satisfied and entertained for
the overly short running time.
Awesomely entertaining improves upon the quality of the second.
Oh man, these are even more vague.
I feel like the the critical views were doing better.
Sure, sure.
Yeah, it's like, oh God.
OK, it's a monster movie.
It's a kids movie.
It is.
It's the third.
And then one sci fi fantasy.
There's some, you know.
Green legs, someone said.
Yeah, green.
I went to the turtles like I feel like I'm stabbing in the dark.
Let me think if there's an I'm OK, I'm just going to find like a good one that actually
has like a legit, I suppose a lot, maybe a little severe lack of characterization, predictable
setup from the start.
This is from Essence of Sugar gave it a three user majorly contrived plot devices.
The dinosaurs almost pushed to the side with about the least annoying character of being
Dr. Alan Grant, a stock pointless ending.
It's like I didn't care anymore.
And it's a great insult to have one of the main female.
Jurassic Park lost world like the second one or whatever.
What number are we on?
Third one.
Yes.
You got it.
Nice.
OK.
That's right.
You got it.
Jurassic Park three was sorry.
I got lost in all the fucking like iterations.
You guys want to try it.
You want to try again?
It was a kids movie.
No.
Yeah.
The third.
That's that's yeah.
That's such a weird miscategorization then.
I mean, what it became like like it's it's.
All right.
That's the one that's the dinosaurs going.
Alan Alan.
Right.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He wakes up and he's like that there's a velociraptor sitting in the jet with him and he's like,
Alan, wake up.
And then it's like a dream.
And he's like, oh, it's just his friend.
He's like, Alan, wake up.
But it's I saw the movie a couple of times that summer because it's just something I
did was go see movies.
And I remember that part coming and just laughing, getting ready to laugh because it was just
so silly.
All right.
So you guys want to continue?
It is from 2008, 2008.
It's an action adventure thriller.
Here we graduate.
And it's the fourth in this franchise.
Seattle Post's Intelligencer, William Arnold gave it a ninety one.
It's crammed full of the dash filmmaking flair, swashbuckling magic and possible stunts
and tongue in cheek humor that made the series such a phenomenon of its time.
And for those verse in its traditions, almost every frame is enjoyable on some level.
Strange tides or whatever.
Oh, good guess.
But no, swashbuckling is is.
Oh, wow.
Oh, interesting.
OK.
A slick, fun film that has by no means sacrificed the fast action beats of the first three,
says Damon Wise of Empire.
The Boston Globe tie burst as merely grand old school fun, a rollicking class reunion
that stands as the second best entry in the venerable series.
And this isn't any of the.
Any of the.
Fuckin these are still pretty vague, huh?
But I'm just saying, like, I'm off the mark by a by a.
Yeah, you said that it's not a pirate's movie.
No, that was a good guess, though.
It is like action, definitely action adventure thriller from 2000, May 22nd, 2008, PG 13
from the users, let's go to negative master and commander.
From Grant S gave it a zero.
What a complete waste of time and money, not one ounce of creativity or fun from the first
lame screen with the groundhogs to the last third rate.
That was a big hit there to the last third rate as sound effects, water, flume ride.
Oh, this is this movie was a complete disappointment.
Like Perseus fucking was his name opens with groundhogs.
Action adventure 2008.
Brian L gave it a two Mattingly Mattingly idiotic.
I was so angry when I left the theater as to what they did to a great franchise.
It is George Lucas's stamp of cutesy lameness all over it.
I hated this movie and I was so excited to see it.
It's Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.
Yes.
OK, damn.
Like when I start dropping names, it becomes obvious.
But at a certain point, it's a well, I mean, I those three squares.
But like this ride feels like you got three.
Well done.
I can do one more.
I had one more ready or we can just move on and call it a day.
I mean, I'll never concede the like, you know, that's the game.
Why don't we do one more?
Why don't we do one more and it'll be double or nothing?
All or nothing.
All right.
All or nothing.
It is the fifth in the franchise.
Let's see.
When did it come out?
2011.
It is an action drama thriller crime.
That's what it says.
From Benjo Kalati from We Got This Covered.
I don't know what that is.
Blank boasts incredible action scenes that are all varied and equally exciting.
The film is full of clean, well choreographed shots that are easy to watch and the cast
works great as a whole unit, making the film's running time breeze by.
Let's see here.
From Time Out London, Anna Smith gave it a 60.
Overlong but slick, this still gets away with simplistic dialogue and characters, perhaps
because it doesn't take itself too seriously.
From 2011, right?
2011, the fifth in the franchise.
From user Many Made One gave it a 10.
I don't think anyone expected the fifth film of the series to be the best.
Up to this point, the only one I liked was the first one.
But after seeing this one, possibly the greatest car themed film ever.
It's Fast Five.
Yeah, it's Fast Five.
That was a fun ending.
OK, well, that was the Fast.
That was our little entry into the Fast series.
Fast X.
I had so much fun with you guys.
Thank you so much for joining us for that silly little game that we played.
I know it was a little tough.
But you guys are movie buffs.
So I know that it was possible and you made me so proud.
And that was Franchise Edition of Review Blitz.
This has been Fast X version of Polarize for now.
Thank you, Danny.
We appreciate you joining us.
It's always a pleasure.
And you're someone that is just built for podcasting.
And we appreciate you offering your opinion on movies.
You're always such an invaluable source of movies, music, pop culture, media, anything,
and amongst plenty of other stuff as well.
So appreciate you so much, dude.
And can't wait for next time.
For our next episode, we will be doing another.
Brie Larson movie.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
A certain Captain Marvel, may you say?
Yes, a very polarizing movie.
Indeed, we will be doing a Marvel movie.
We haven't done a Marvel movie yet, have we?
And it's not just a Marvel movie.
It's the Marvel movie because it's in the name.
God, I don't even have the scores here.
I'm sorry.
It was very polarizing on its release for reasons that didn't seem to have much to do
with the movie.
And then it came out and that was in 2019.
There's another one coming out later this year.
What a time to check it out.
So join us next time for Captain Marvel.
It's got a 79% certified fresh by critics on Rotten Tomatoes.
It's got a 45% audience score.
And we'll see you there.
If you want to reach us in the meantime, um, polarize the pod at gmail.com.
If you want to send us a line there, polarize pod, uh, on Twitter is where you can tweet
at us there and, um, polarized pod on twitch.tv.
That's twitch.tv slash polarized pod.
We stream this live, uh, no regular schedule really, but you can watch, you know, old,
uh, videos and, and check us out there and occasionally see us live.
We took a little break there.
We're so happy to be back.
Thank you guys for joining us and we'll see you next time.
We love you.
Bye.