This week I thought I'd talk about this article that I came across in Wired.
It's a little not super old, not like what was the clown being pulled by geese in a bathtub old?
Oh, the 1800s.
Such a good time.
Not that old. Yeah, this one's just October 2022 old.
So like a month and a little bit old, probably at the time this comes out.
And it's by Wired and it's called The Mediterranean Sea is So Hot It's Forming Carbonate Crystals.
Basically, it's talking about sunlight heating up the top layer of water in the Mediterranean,
which is sitting on cooler, deeper layers below.
And out in the open ocean where water temperatures are lower, CO2 dissolves in salt water,
which is what allows Earthsea to collectively absorb a quarter of the carbon emissions that humans pump into the atmosphere.
But the Eastern Mediterranean Sea is heating up in the summer.
Obviously, it always does. It's hot.
So it can no longer absorb that gas and instead starts releasing it.
So it's the same thing that happens in a bottle of soda that is carbonated with carbon dioxide.
You usually keep it cold so it dissolves gases.
Its dissolved gases will stay dissolved, says Bialik, a geoscientist at the University of Muenster, I think.
Muenster in Germany.
If you leave it in your car for a while and try to open it, all the gases are going to pop out all at once,
because when it warms, the capacity of the fluid to hold CO2 goes down.
In the Eastern Mediterranean now, this dynamic is rather more consequential for the climate than a sticky car interior,
as the sea begins burping up great quantities of CO2 that the water can no longer hold.
So obviously that is not good.
The one good thing is that CO2 makes it more acidic, I believe, the water, which isn't great for the aquatic life.
So things in the sea will survive a little better.
On the downside, we're getting a flat ocean because it's giving off all its carbon dioxide.
Yeah, exactly.
Or sorry, a Mediterranean Sea.
Not only that, it's absorbing the gases that we're emitting into the atmosphere.
Exactly, yeah.
So I assume that Europe and North Africa have come up with some sort of scheme to put a soda cap lid on the Mediterranean Sea?
Probably.
Let me see in the article.
Nope, nope, that doesn't come up at all.
Oh man.
But that's what is going on.
And hold on, let me see if this is important.
Yeah, let me continue.
It's also worth noting that the Mediterranean Sea is one of the most microplastic polluted water bodies in the world.
In 2020, scientists reported finding 2 million particles in a single square meter of sediment that was only 5 centimeters thick.
Oh my God.
Are there arginite crystals are forming around the microplastics floating in the water column?
Bialik doesn't know.
They could probably form around any nucleation center, says Bialik.
I suspect that microplastics may also be a possible one, but as scientists love to say, more research is needed.
Obviously, that was more towards the middle of the article than the spilling out of CO2 by the water.
But just another thing to add into how...
How fucked the Mediterranean is?
Yeah.
Just the Mediterranean, which is a massive fuck-up of water.
I'm sure the rest are just fine.
We're fine if you're not around the Mediterranean.
I would want to live around the Mediterranean right now.
No, no, I wouldn't want to live there.
And with that, the more you know, Journey to the Fringe is giving you knowledge.
With that, let's start the episode.
From the unexplained to the mundane, come join us on a Journey to the Fringe.
Hello and welcome to Journey to the Fringe.
Now only available in the present time.
We are working on making these ourselves available in other time tenses, but that's going to take some work.
So please only talk about this podcast in the present tense for the time being.
That being, you can't say I listened to Journey to the Fringe.
You need to say I listened to Journey to the Fringe.
It is inconvenient, but it is what it is.
We are your ever present hosts, Taylor and Chelsea.
And today we are doing you all a solid...
I think the easiest way to know what the solid is that we are doing for you
is to just give you an idea of the topic for which you've already read the title
off on the podcast episode, but so what.
So you've run into the Fae.
Now Chelsea is going to cover what to expect from this.
And then I'm going to talk about some precautionary steps and some ways to help yourself.
Should this occur to you?
So Chelsea, why don't you take it away?
I'm just going to take an aside here and I completely ran with Elf on this.
So this is not Fae.
It is Elf completely.
I have not done a thing on Faeries.
I'm here today and today only.
Well, actually an infinite amount of times as you'll be able to go back and listen to this episode.
As many times as you wish.
It's a choose your own, listen to this episode as many times as you wish adventure.
And now that we've got that out of the way, I'm here to talk about Elves.
See, specifically Elves.
Specifically catering to those of you who have yet to run into one.
Hopefully that is most of you listening.
And if you have already, then you can still listen.
And maybe you can relate a little bit in what we talk about.
I think you can learn from other stories of Elves because Elf encounters are like beautiful snowflakes
and that no two are the same.
In fact, some are on fire.
Yeah, I would say that.
In which case, maybe nobody will be able to relate to any of our stories.
Yeah, and that's that's going to come up in the preventative measures too.
So let's just get into it.
It's finally happened.
You've run into an Elf or Elves where this chance meeting goes is pretty much dependent
on whether it's a good Elf or not so good Elf.
I don't know if you can say good or bad Elf or good and not good Elf.
I think they have a karmic sense for which we don't understand.
And just change how they act in certain scenarios.
Does that make sense?
I might be completely off base, but that's kind of what I draw from.
They're both equipped with both good and evil.
Everybody's capable of it.
Yes.
Yeah, also could depend on where you are geographically.
But if it were me, I just want to steer clear as to not accidentally piss one of these guys off
as they're known to have quite the tempers in accordance with what Taylor just said.
Yeah.
And again, how to piss them off varies greatly.
Exactly. And they all have the ability to get pissed off.
Just as us.
According to Icelandic facts, as we covered in a previous Elf episode of ours.
Do you remember what that one was called?
I think it was one of our Christmas episodes last year.
Yeah, it was a Christmas episode, which I learned that there,
but I'm just going to put it here or there.
You can still listen to it there if you want.
Eve was embarrassed that her children were dirty when God came to visit.
So she hid them away and lied about their existence.
God knew of her deceitfulness and proclaimed, what man hides from God.
God will hide from man.
These children then became the hidden folk who often make their homes in large rocks.
So here God is pissed off.
So he himself may also be an elf.
Now, elves are strongly associated with magic and nature.
In ancient days, it is thought that every place in nature and among men had a specific elf.
Elves live in a realm that is very near to ours and they are humanoid looking.
They remind me a lot of the Djinn, actually.
They can look like what they want.
Yeah, they live in communities.
They have good and bad elves.
They have supernatural abilities, including the ability to shape shift.
They're known to be mischievous, playing pranks and causing strange occurrences.
I just think it's really funny that you see commonalities between other cultures.
One just calls them another thing.
And that pretty much is what a Djinn is as well as an elf.
It is thought that elves live among men as well and have protection roles to take care
of buildings, families, and individuals and livestock.
And so on.
Where and why might you be encountering an elf after just getting that brief introduction
about the most briefest of introductions out of the way?
You may have an elf encounter without even knowing it in the form of fairy rings.
Now, I say fairy rings because I also said that I didn't do anything about fairies,
but fairy rings are also linked to elves as well because they love to dance.
This would include a ring of mushrooms left where elves have danced.
If you encountered this and happened to specifically pee into it, it might result in VD.
Just putting that out there, that might be where you got that case of VD peeing into it.
Anybody looking for an excuse.
That is now the go-to.
Well, I did pee into that mushroom ring that one time.
You may also encounter this where a forest meets a lake.
You might find a flattened circle in the grass from where the elves had danced.
Observe this with caution as you walk through it or disturbing the circle.
You could become very ill.
So just if you see one of those, don't go in it.
Don't go around it.
Turn and go the other direction.
And speaking of elf dances, you must always be on guard if you encounter elves dancing.
Not to be lured to the elf dance in which the fairy ring is formed.
Four, if you observe the elf dance, you're fucked.
Hear me out.
While watching the dance, you would discover that although only a few hours seem to have
passed, that it's actually many years in real human world years.
That's the elf circle fairy ring slash dancing that you might encounter the elves.
The next is illness.
Have you ever been sick?
Probably.
Could an elf be responsible for it?
Probably.
It probably could be responsible for that if you've pissed one off and you didn't even know it.
Elves have been known to inflict illness which cannot be diagnosed or properly treated by a doctor.
An elf may cast a spell of sickness if offended by an individual or you may piss them off so much
they shoot you with an invisible arrow carrying sickness.
This is called being elf shot.
Next time you're sick and you go into the ER or something, you say,
I do suspect I've been elf shot.
Check me for wound holes.
Yeah, check me if I've been elf shot.
It could explain a lot to do with this VD.
It could be as minor as a skin rash all the way up to mental illness or even physical illness,
such as epilepsy.
Elves has also been known on the other hand to cure illness.
We did say there's both good and bad elves.
Well, good intention and bad intention in elves, I guess.
While this doesn't constitute illness, the elves are the original old hake.
They've been known to sit on the chest of a sleeping person to give them bad dreams.
The German word for nightmare translates to elf pressure.
Illness, bad dream, same thing.
Next thing you could expect encounter with an elf, a rock in the forest or around tree
trunks and in the hills because that's where they live.
And you can expect that if you fuck with any one of those in which an elf or community
of elves inhabits for them to defend what's theirs.
This is still very much the case in Iceland.
There's a high percentage of people who do believe in this.
I can't remember the last time I've read it, I believe it was around like 40% of Icelandic.
I think it's higher than 40%.
Yeah, that was just off the top of my head.
It's a super high amount.
Yeah, we could easily just Google it right now, but we're better off to guess.
We're better at speculating.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Somewhere between 40% and a very high percentage.
It's a high percentage of people in Iceland that believe this and there are lots of heritage
sites, would you call them protected sites in Iceland around boulders and rocks inhabited by
elves.
There's one in fact, right near downtown Reykjavik, or if you do a ghost tour in Reykjavik,
they'll show you it.
I would be interested in that.
Yeah, it's still very much the case in Iceland.
Example of what we just talked about construction projects around boulders will either go around
the boulder instruction sites will stall when they're going to take out a boulder or anything
like that, so yeah, they're just not to be disturbed.
Well, and Iceland has its own distinct group of elf psychics, I think is the correct way
to describe them, where they will bring people in to communicate with the elves that are
living in an area to see what they can do.
Oh, I was going to say maybe elf advocates.
Not quite advocate, but more like mediator, I guess.
Oh, okay.
I can do that.
I feel like I could do that.
But I'd be too scared of pissing them off.
You have to be able to see and communicate with elves.
So I don't know how well you would do at that part of it.
I could do okay.
You can fake it pretty hard, I bet.
We looked at enough of these guys to fake it till they make it, I think, to actually
do pretty good.
Also, another part of Icelandic elves is that they can impregnate women.
It is well documented through the history of Iceland to come back to a wife who has
been impregnated by the elves.
I'm pretty sure I talk about that.
So if a rock is disturbed that is of importance to the elves, you can expect to get warnings
from the elves at first if you're lucky.
But if you do not heed these warnings, you can expect mishaps, freakish accidents and
illness.
That's if you disturb their place of living and you can't really know for sure that you're
disturbing an elf's place of living.
Just like I don't know why I keep bringing it back to the Djinn.
You don't know if a Djinn lives somewhere in particular.
You don't know because they're living in a world that is near to ours, but not ours.
So they're invisible and around us at all times.
Next up, elves are known to take terrible revenge on anyone who offends them.
So you could have also offended them by doing nothing, really.
Just being near to them and not seeing them.
So that actually merged well with what I just said.
They may steal babies, cattle, food, especially milk or bread.
They like milk or bread.
They may confuse you or bring bad luck, misplace or lose your things, enchant you to be held
in a spell for years at a time or just other mysterious things.
There's also the VD and illness portions of it that I left out of there.
They're also, on the other hand, very generous to those that offer hospitality to them,
rewarding with gifts and rewards.
Just, you know, don't be an asshole to elves.
You may also know an elf from it stealing your baby.
To start with, I was like, to steal babies.
Well, this isn't really starting.
Okay.
It's starting with under the heading of steal babies.
They're fairly well known for that.
Those changed out babies are called changelings,
which is a human child that might be taken for many factors all over the spectrum.
This could be to act as a servant.
I mean, it wouldn't be a great servant.
Babies are terrible at stuff.
Let me tell you.
Yeah, they would be awful.
Just absolutely crap.
To obtain the love of a human child, malice.
And in some instances, I'm assuming desperate instances,
a senior elf may be switched out for a human baby.
Again, terrible plan if you need that senior elf to do anything.
Human babies do sometimes look like old elves, so they would pass.
This is so that elderly elves have someone to take care of them.
So like I said, there's multiple reasons for the switch outs and what they're switching out.
Who knows?
Old, young, it's all over the place.
If you have been the victim of a baby switch out, you've encountered an elf.
Or if you've had like an inkling, like this might be an old elf that I'm now taking care of.
You probably have been the victim of Elvary.
Is that what they call it?
I think it's changeling.
Okay, but the act of the changeling, it would be Elvary, right?
I think it's changeling.
Okay, I just thought the name of the child being switched out was changeling.
Like I now have a changeling.
The name of the new creature is the changeling.
But in my mind, like changing out the baby is also changeling.
Okay, I thought it would be like the act of Elvary.
It's kind of like I'm a blacksmith.
What do you do?
I blacksmith.
Okay, that's a valid point.
Okay, so we're settled.
It's changeling.
You've been a victim of changeling.
Or you've been had, duped.
Yeah.
The elves pull the fast one.
You have a very desirable baby.
Okay, elderly elves want someone to take care of them.
It's obviously not going to be the elves that are doing the switching out.
Yeah, they actually have really bad social safety nets in the elf kingdom.
Elf Regen just completely destroyed them.
So that these elderly elves can live in comfort and be coddled by its new human parents.
It's a feel-good story of the year.
On the other hand, there are legends that state that the elves need help to bring children into
the world in the form of midwives and wet nurses, which may also contribute to the baby switching.
And also the kidnapping of women who have just had babies for being a wet nurse to the elves.
Lots of midwives have been kidnapped by the elves as well.
I'm going to read you just a quick story called the story of Peter Ram's
wife being summoned by the elves.
I added that.
A clergyman by the name of Peter Ram was known to have told a tale of his wife being
summoned to help a mythical being give birth.
She went to the creature and performed her duties.
After the child was born, the grateful couple offered the midwife food and drink.
She kindly refused.
They offer her other forms of hospitality, which she refused as well.
She was sent on her way and returned home.
The next day, she found a pile of silver pieces, a gift from the new parents for delivering their child.
Okay, I have a couple little tidbits to end here.
You may also encounter an elf in the form of,
I don't know how to put it, like a siren type being trying to lure you into the elf world.
So they will often appear as the opposite sex to tempt you into joining them,
where you may never return or meet a tragic fate.
This one is very popular, the seductive elf.
They're also known to lie and deceive in order to lure you into their world.
So they really do want to lure you into their world as well.
All I know is it seems like sometimes they're just basically up to no good,
and also known to help one human or two.
So I wouldn't really rely on that.
And also sometimes they just apparently genuinely need human help.
That does come up from time to time.
But when children are born or when they need a plow to be repaired.
Yeah, the other thing I just saw, this is pretty much all I have to talk about.
The other thing I just wanted to say was,
I should have brought this up earlier when we were talking about where they live in boulders.
But I just think it's interesting, and I don't think I couldn't find any correlation to this as well.
This is just my specific hearsay.
But they talk about things going awry if you mess with boulders,
and them living in boulders and stuff like that.
I just think it ought to be said out loud that there's a lot of people that go missing.
And it comes up in Missing 411 with David Palladis,
of people going missing in boulder fields.
And I just think someone ought to put Elf out there as a suspect.
But also we probably shouldn't say that because...
Yeah, we also haven't done our episode on Missing 411.
There's a whole other thing going on with that.
Oh, there is?
Well, yeah, there's David Palladis, who is the entire persona behind Missing 411,
has his lovers and haters.
And the haters have some points.
Yes, I've been noticing that lately.
Which we will get to in that episode.
Oh, yeah, that'd be a good one to do our little thingy on.
Okay, that's basically where I think that you could or would or might encounter an Elf.
You could encounter one daily all the time and just not know it.
So hopefully Taylor will give us some tips,
since we're encountering them so much, to keep us safe.
And that's why we're here.
And just to give a full disclaimer right off the front,
some of these are specific to geographic locations.
Please also keep in mind, especially with regards to some of these stories,
that should one of the things that we tell you to do not work at all.
Try in fact doing the exact opposite of what I have told you to do,
which in fact may be the answer in that specific scenario.
Strangely enough, that's how these work.
Also, just liability absolved.
Do not lie on this episode.
This is not legal and or fairy defense or fae defense advice.
Okay.
This is just stating what has happened in the past and what has worked.
Having said that, I've broken this up into kind of two categories of saving yourself.
Chelsea, I'm just going to start off with a bit of an anecdote.
What's better than coming up with an antidote or a medicine for cancer?
I got nothing.
Why, showing you how to prevent cancer.
Oh, of course.
In the first place.
We are going to talk about what measures you can take once you've run into an Elf,
but let's just talk about preventing running into an Elf in the first place.
Okay, I'm all ears.
Let's start first and foremost where we spend most of our days,
especially in this COVID slash post-COVID world.
It's kind of funny which one we're actually in right now
because nobody really wants to talk about it.
But anyhow, we spend a lot of time at home these days.
One thing you should avoid is keeping open flames in your house
as Elves and the Fae are big fans of fires.
So we don't keep them.
Yes, do not keep open flames in your house.
They will come in, they will warm themselves, they will dry their clothes.
They will bake and they will blacksmith in your fires.
And then you have them in your house and that's just a shitty thing to have.
I have one going right now.
What do I do?
Turn it off.
Extinguish.
Next, do you have a house?
Great thing to do.
Keep bells around the outside of your house,
particularly if they're made of iron or steel,
which in fact I think is part of the reasoning behind wind chimes.
Not only do they sound good, they keep the Fae away.
Really?
Yes, if you have enough space, keeping roosters around can drive away Fae
as they do not like the sound of it.
However, there is also contradictory stories
where they also enjoy keeping chickens in their own housing areas.
So your mileage may vary with that one.
So disregard all information about roosters.
Again, if it's not working that you have a rooster,
get rid of that rooster when the Elf shows up, babe.
Give it as a gift.
If you have too many Elves.
Give them the rooster.
Let us know if you got too many Elves after you got a rooster.
Chelsea had already said this earlier, but leaving a bowl of milk
and important here, salt-free bread outside periodically
will help the Elves not want to go into your house and play tricks on.
And if you're into gardening, there are many plants that are said to repel Elves or Fae.
Certain plants that are effective in repelling include St. John's Wort,
Red Verbena, Daisies, Ash, and Rowan.
For example, a branch of Mountain Ash will help pull a trapped person out of a fairy ring
as the fairies dread the tree.
And Catherine Briggs suggests that it is the red berries of the plant
which have given it its reputation for warding off evil,
but it has much wider magical power than this.
And lastly, Wurtzeichs records in British Goblins that a Gorse hedge
is an excellent protection against unwelcome visitors.
Conversely, there are things that attract the Fae that you should not plant.
However, if this is already on your property, don't just up and get rid of this
as there may already be a Fae living in it and you'll piss them off if you get rid of it.
Piss it off, yeah.
They're very temperamental, those little bastards.
Yeah, this includes fairy rings.
They're pretty nice little gentlemen.
Actually, I take it back. They're not bastards.
Yeah, they're fantastic little guys and gals.
Fairy rings, if one's there, like just accept it.
Maybe it's edible mushrooms. Don't pee in there.
Avoid that area.
Also, fox gloves, bluebells, and red companion.
An oak, ash, or hawthorn tree on a hill is an indicator that you may be on a fairy hill.
Animals such as rabbits and certain birds also are indications of fairies or Fae or elves.
But again, it might also not be. It might just be a rabbit.
The next thing you can do is you can have salt at the ready.
Fairies loathing salt can work in two related ways.
It can be used as a deliberate defense against them or it can be said to be a
messenger of the other world and will be preventing them from handling human goods.
Amongst the means used by midwives and neighbors to protect mothers in labor was sprinkling salt
around the house and after the baby was safely delivered, it could be guarded against abduction
by putting salt in the newborn's mouth. Related to this, there were several ways
of expelling a changeling in whales. One means of driving off a changeling was to
place salt on a shovel, make the sign of a cross in it, and then heat it over a fire.
And I just wanted to get all the salt stuff out of the way there.
Also, salt in food pisses them off. So if you're going to bring it as a gift for later issues,
by all means, make sure that you're baking without salt.
Check. Well, I mean noted. Not checked.
Okay. The next thing you can do is work with a wonder liquid known as
Mastyr. It's a substance used by our ancestors, stored up for use in curing leather and at a
household level for cleaning laundry as it removes stains and brightens colors.
Sprinkling Mastyr around a home will protect the household from the fay.
It is especially helpful just after a baby has been born, when both nursing mother and child
need to be protected against the risk of abduction. In Rossshire in the north of Scotland,
all newborn babies were bathed in Mastyr, also known as golden water, to prevent the
fairies from stealing them. Perhaps on the same basis, carrying the mother over the drain from
the cowshed is reckoned to be equally effective. Changeling could be driven away by forcing the
fairies to return their infant captive by exposing them to a range of unpleasant conditions,
of which the mildest involved Mastyr. A suspected changeling could be laid on top
of the pot in which the liquid was being stored. And because of the stench, this might alone be
enough to expel it. This remedy is plainly the flip side of the defense to newborn babies and
mothers we talked about above. And in fact, Mastyr may be a general protective against bad luck in
general. On the Isle of Man, for example, ploughs would be washed with the substance before they
were taken to the fields for the annual plowing. And on Halloween in the Highlands, cattle,
doorposts, and walls of houses would all be sprinkled with the liquid to protect the premises
from fay. This sounds all simple enough and great. It's at this point I should tell you that Mastyr
is stored and old urine that they've been saving up throughout the year. Yeah, yes. But you know,
great for all sorts of things. So if you've just been throwing your Mastyr down the drain like a
sucker, maybe you should be saving it now. Yeah, that would also like keep me away from your house
if you're just sprinkling it around your doorstep. Not just the fay, yes. Yeah, I'd be like, I
probably don't want to knock on that door. So those are ways to keep your house safe from the
fay and the elves. By the way, I've used the terms interchangeably more or less because in English,
elves and fay are more or less the same thing as the Germanic groups of elves and the French
roots of fay fairies more or less are the same thing. If you are out and about, like let's say
you can't just live in your house forever, here's a few things that you can do to prevent a run in
with the fay or the elves. First off, if you're going somewhere new, consult local lore or people
in the community to know if they live in the area you are going, especially in Europe, which, yes,
England, you still count as that. The local lore identifies areas where fay live, frequent, or
travel through. People in the know with the folklore will be able to give you an idea of places
to avoid. If you're in the woods and hear mysterious music, not just some asshole that brought their
Bluetooth speaker on a hike or the time of day quickly changes or animals are acting weird,
then go back from whence you came. You should probably also say as leaving the other direction,
sorry for intruding, you have a lovely forest. Yeah, don't just say like I'm out of here, this
place is fucked and it's ugly. This forest is the worst forest I've ever been in. Bad idea.
Wow, what a shitty forest. I gotta turn around now. I have never seen a shitty forest. Before
you leave, you should actually be wearing clothes with red thread. Red thread are effective against
fairies, for example tied around a child's throat to protect them from taking or woven into the
hair of a cow's tail to prevent the fairy stealing its milk. If you want to double your protection,
securing a spring of rowan to someone or something with a red thread was recommended. Also, I have
heard red flannels are a way to avoid changelings on babies. This is an interesting one. If you're
going to go to the beach, stick to the beach at low tide and walk in the area below high tide,
or other high salt concentration areas such as beaches or being near the ocean, or some marshes,
as it is said that most elves and fae do not enjoy salt. Bring a four leaf clover. The Welsh
believe that holding one allows you to actually see fae and elves, which will make it much easier
for you to avoid them. Yeah, if you can find one. I've never found one in my life. I've found a
few before. It's just, they're hard to hold on to. And lastly, avoid wells and still waters.
Apparently elves and fae are drawn to these still waters. For example, John Riss in the Celtic
Folklore from 1901 notes the existence of several fairy wells and whales, which demand attention from
local people in the absence of which they would overflow or flood. So those are just a few tips
for avoiding just the run-ins in general. But let's say you couldn't stop these things from
happening. You've now come face to face with a fae. What should I have done to ready myself for the
situation? Well, you should have brought with you iron and or steel. The supernatural race cannot
abide forged metal in any form. The Reverend Kirk expressed it thus, iron hinders all the operations
of those that travel in the intrigues of these hidden dominions. In fact, metal is a double
protection. The presence of iron items will prevent harm. Touching with iron will drive
fairies away. A scythe placed sharpened edge uppermost in a chimney will repel fairies. Pins
in the swaddling clothes, scissors hung over or tongs laid upon a cradle will prevent the substitution
of a changeling, partly because the open blades will create a cross shape. An iron bolt or lock
on a door will guard a house. An axe placed under a pillow will protect the sleeper and striking a
fairy with iron will result in its instant disappearance. In Wales, the story of the fairy
wife lost by accidentally striking her with the iron bit of a bridle was extremely common. Contact
with the metal in these cases lost a loved one. Whilst folklore also records that if iron is thrown
at changelings or at a clinging fairy, the unwelcome presence will instantly be repelled.
From time to time, fairy hills will open and the sound of music will lure humans in. The best
protection against never escaping is to place a knife of iron or steel at the exit so that the
door cannot close again. If a person has been lured into the dancing with the fairies in a ring,
one way of recovering him or her is a touch with iron. Despite the widely tested aversion,
it is curious to note that fairies will be found using metal items sometimes. John Riss records
them borrowing griddles and pots in Wales and there are regular stories of fairies asking humans
to mend their implements. For example, a ploughman working in a field at one house just outside
Stowmarket in Suffolk was approached by a sandy colored fairy for help mending his peel. This was
the long handle flat iron used for removing loaves from an oven. The ploughman easily repaired the
broken handle and was very soon rewarded with hot cake fresh from the oven. So again, that's one of
those things where if it works, yes, that's great. If it's not working, try the exact opposite. Maybe
in fact, gift them the iron or steel you are carrying. This isn't working. Actually, this is
a gift for you. Try stabbing them. Oh, I was just giving it to you. Next up, always bring with you
some type of food, salt, bread, or fish. In popular romances of the West of England, Robert Hunt
records an interesting tale from Cornwall of a cow that was favored by the fairies for its milk.
When the milkmaids of Boss Franken Farm near St. Berrien realized what was happening, she sought
advice from a local cunning woman who advised the local fae could not abide the smell of fish or
the savor of salt or grease. Her recommendation was to rub the cow's udders with fish brine to
prevent the pesky elves. The advice worked, but the cow pined for her supernatural friends. Oddly,
however, fishermen in nearby Newlyn appeased the spriggans with an offering of fish, indicating
that the revulsion was not consistent. So that fish part might not be true, especially if they
live in a coastal area, but bread always seems to be something that they want or you can use to
either tear them off or appease them. Very basic meat. One ward is what is called a self-bored
stone, which if you can locate, it would be if you're on the beach and you find a stone with a
hole in the middle that was eroded away. Apparently, it's a great protection against elves. Where it
is a necklace. Really? Yeah, they're called haig stones. They can protect property if you hang it
from the edge of your property. They can protect animals. They can protect humans. Although strangely,
I found when they aren't being used, they should be stored in an iron box so that the fairies can't
mess with them. But wouldn't they always be used if they're like hanging? Yeah, that's that's the
weird part where I couldn't look too much into it. I ran out of time, but fairies would not
pass underneath or near a self-bored stone or a haig stone. If you run into elves, turn your clothes
inside out. A consistently deployed protection is to turn your coat, to turn a garment inside out as
a way of defending yourself from fairy tricks. Two quernish examples from Hunt illustrate the
effectiveness of the remedy. A Mr. Tassilian returning late at night from Penzance to his
home in St. Levin came upon the elves dancing in their rings. He felt compelled to join them,
at which point they swarmed upon him, seeing him like bees. He retained enough presence of mind to
turn his glove inside out and threw it at him, which instantly caused the throng to disappear.
Secondly, an old widow living in Chyenne Whale above Carbus Bay found that her home was favoured
by the thievish spriggans or elves of nearby Trencrom Hill. They resorted to her cottage to
divide up their plunder and rewarded her tolerance of this by leaving her a coin after each visit.
She hatched a plan to get more from them and one night secretly turned her shift inside out
whilst the spriggans were present. This enabled her to seize a gold cup from them. The widow became
a wealthy woman as a result, but she could never wear that shift again, because if she did, she
suffered agonies. So if you don't like the clothes, by all means, turn them inside out. Apparently it
works. And throw them at them? You don't have to necessarily throw them at them, but sometimes it
helps. So I would say first thing you do, turn it inside out, put it on. That doesn't work. Throw it
at them. If that doesn't work, say it's a gift. Or put it on right side again and see if that works,
maybe. Can you imagine somebody just like showing up at your house and you're like, what's up with
you while your clothes are on backwards? They're like, just ran into an elf. And you're missing a
shoe. Yeah. And then I'd be like, should we be concerned that the elves are coming?
Be mindful when you're interacting with an elf or a fae, not to share too much information.
Always give your answers as super vague and non-specific. Information that they might ask
you for is your true name. Don't call them fae, fairy or fairies. And if they ever offer you
something, always say yes. I shouldn't give them my name? Never give them your name. How do I know
they're an elf? Should I just be giving out a different name to everybody? See, I don't know.
I hear everybody listening knows my name is Chelsea. No, that's just what we tell them.
Yeah. Yeah. That's not my real name at all. Hold on. Well, I turned my sweater on inside.
If they offer you a gift, this is important. Always accept it. If it's food, we're going to
get to that later. You don't need to necessarily do anything with the gift. Just accept the gift
because it's rude to not accept the gift. Once you have accepted the gift or they've done something
nice for you, do not say thank you. The fairies consider the phrase thank you to be incredibly
significant and poignant. It is equitable to say, I can never repay you for this. I owe you my life.
Now imagine if someone said that to you when all you did was wash the dishes for them or give you
a biscuit. It's weird and a bit rude. And then fairies consider saying thank you a bit of a cop
out. It is far more significant and meaningful to show that you're grateful rather than simply saying
it. This could take the format of an offering or a promise for your help in the future. Though,
if you do make such a promise, be clear on the parameters. You don't want to be asked for
something that you cannot deliver on. That's how first born babies get stolen. Therefore,
instead of saying thank you, show appreciation in the form of an offering or a gesture of goodwill.
Fairies also appear to appreciate self-deprecating statements such as, wow, your kindness is
unbelievable. I'm not worthy of such generosity. Always have a present handy to give them such as
an item of clothes like we talked about earlier. Some folktales recount when elves were offered.
Clothing they were offended by the inferior quality of the garments given and others recounted that
the fae were delighted with the gift and left with it. So not necessarily great odds that they're
going to be happy with it, but they'll probably leave if you give them a gift, including clothes.
So again, the steps are turn your clothes inside out, put them back on. They don't leave, throw it
at them. And if they don't still leave, say that's for you. You can take it. It's a gift.
Mm-hmm. I really like this piece of advice. Compliment the fae or elf. And if that doesn't
work, insult them. They have left households or farms because they heard a complaint or a compliment.
So, you know, just either or. Don't ignore them. Compliment or complain.
But what if either way they give you mental illness?
I would start with the compliment. Yeah, because I was just going to say,
start with one, you know, do it, then end with the other, I guess. And then start turning your
clothes inside out. If the interaction is going south,
then might I suggest you run across a area of running water. Fairy folk are unable to cross
streams and rivers, though in any pursuit leaping from bank to bank will be a sure escape for a
hunted human. Water courses running south are said to be especially efficacious. Oddly, nevertheless,
fairies seem to have no objections to still water. They actively seek it out for washing themselves,
and they are from time to time associated with these wells that we talked about earlier.
Some believe that faith in Christianity has some sort of play in these interactions. So if
everything is going wrong, maybe you should rethink your relationship with Jesus. Maybe not,
depending on how that has worked for you. This one I find weird touching grass in Celtic folklore,
John Rees records a couple of Welsh traditions that a person may save themselves from fairy
abductions by seizing a hold of grass, apparently because the elves in that area are prevented from
severing blades of grass. Lastly, in these interactions, if there's anything to do with
food, it's very important to know where you are. If you happen to find yourself in a strange
environment when you encounter the fae or the elf, do not eat or drink anything. Accept them
happily because you are a nice guest, but do not eat or drink anything. Or say thank you. Yes,
don't say thank you. Say, wow, that is so kind of you. Here is my inside out clothes for you,
because that is the style in the human realm this time of year. Something along those lines. However,
if you have no reason to believe that you're in some weird Elfy dimension, what you need to do is
accept and eat any food given to you from the elves or fae. Because if you do not, yes, if you are in
your own dimension or realm or whatever we call it, I don't frigging know because we're not doing
that part in this episode. You need to eat it because if you don't, they will be offended
and it doesn't actually do anything bad in our realm. So if you're someplace weird, strange,
there's pan flutes playing, bells, it's dark outside, lots of dancing going on, and it's not
a rave. You have not ingested MDMA and you have glow sticks everywhere, then do not eat the food.
However, if it's someplace normal that you expect to be, you should eat the food. And lastly, this
is a weird one, but after an interaction, you've survived it. You should probably not tell anyone
about it lest you incur further fae wrath. Of course, you can always tell us, we're not going
to tell anybody except through podcasting. Oh shit. Yeah. Okay. Oh, don't tell anyone. That's why
your clothes are on inside out. Yeah. But please send us an email, journeytothefringeatgmail.com.
Please. Yeah. Because we want to talk about it. Anyhow, I think we've left the world or at least
our listeners in a better position to handle themselves out in the wild of the folklorish ways.
We've done a good deed for the year. Yeah. Which really makes up for everything else. And now we're
on Santa's good list. Oh, thank God. Yeah. And his elvish slurs. I finally hit the mark. Anyhow,
Chelsea, anything to add before we end this? No, I think that was a fairly thorough how-to
of how to identify any situation you've possibly been in with an elf and didn't know it or did
know it or otherwise and how to avoid, fix and- How to yourself. Eradicate elf from your life.
Be required. Yeah. And like we've said, this has been our good deed for the year. Peace,
honours and everything, at least with the elvish people. However, if none of that stuff works that
we just said, go ahead and try the opposite, exact opposite of what we said or give what we were
talking about as a gift. Yeah. And don't tell Santa. And don't tell Santa. Although he's already
working with the elf, we probably heard about it. Anyhow, I have Fidd Taylor here with Chelsea. We
have been Journey to the Fringe. Thank you all for listening and we'll see you next week. And that's
not my real name. Thank you for listening to Journey to the Fringe. If you have liked what
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