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Chelsea, generally we have a fairly standard practice for fringy minis in that they're news articles

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that we want to convey to people. But this time around, just with it being the Halloween season

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and it being our creature feature week, in fact, so everybody gets to know it's the creature feature

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week, I actually thought we could cram one more creature feature in here with the fringy mini.

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And Chelsea, this one is fantastic. I don't want to give too much away other than it's a land whale.

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A land whale. A land whale. Okay, can't be a new species.

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No, and Chelsea, just prepare yourself for this because this is one of the most fantastic cryptids

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I have ever heard of. Oh, it's a cryptid. Okay. Yes. Okay. I'm trying to prepare, but you might as

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well just go ahead and tell me. I don't know if I could ever be prepared. This is called the Slide Rock

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Bolter. It's out of Colorado. And I'm going to be reading an article about it from wanderingwhaleroad.wordpress.com

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written by Wandering Whale Road on October 12, 2017. What a weird set of words you just put on this.

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Yes. Autumn is upon us. 2017. Yes. Okay. I thought it was a recent. Okay. Autumn is upon us. And so

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today we turn to the colorful forests of North America for our story of the Taysian folklore.

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Landlock, Colorado is not the place that you'd think of when it comes to marine mammals.

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But in the early 20th century, American lumberjacks told all sorts of stories about fursome critters.

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One of them was the Slide Rock Bolter, a terrifying mountain whale. The tale of the Slide Rock

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Bolter comes to us from William Thomas Cox, the state forester of Minnesota, who in 1910

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published fearsome critters of the lumberwoods with a few desert and mountain beasts. In this

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collection of lumberjack tales from all over the United States, Cox detailed various creatures that

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workers in the logging industry imagined late at night in their shanties. The Slide Rock Bolter

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story is set in southwestern Colorado. Cox worked with forester, Court de Bois, who drew the illustration

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and botanist George Bishop Sudworth, who Latin taxonomical names for the creature added to the

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work's tongue-in-cheek imitation of a field guide of the Slide Rock Bolter. Cox wrote,

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In the mountains of Colorado, where in summer the woods are becoming infested with tourists,

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much uneasiness has been caused by the presence of the Slide Rock Bolter. This frightful animal lives

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only in the steepest mountain country where the slopes are greater than 45 degrees. It has immense

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head with small eyes and a mouth somewhat on the order of a sculpin, running back beyond its ears.

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The tail consists of a divider flipper with enormous grab hooks which it fastens over the crest

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of the Mount Norridge, often remaining there motionless for days at a time, watching the gulch

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for tourists or any other hapless creature that may enter it. At the right moment, after sighting

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a tourist, it will lift its tail, thus loosening its hold on the mountain, and with its small eyes

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riveted on the poor unfortunate and drooling thin skid grease from the corners of its mouth,

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which greatly accelerates its speeds. The Bolter comes down like a toboggan, scooping its victims

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as it goes, its own impetus, carrying it up to the next slope, where it again slaps its tail over

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the ridge and waits. Whole parties of tourists are reported to have been gulped at one scoop by

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taking parties far back into the hills. The animal is a menace not only to tourists, but to the

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woods as well. Many a draw through spruce covered slopes have been laid low. The trees being knocked

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out by the roots or mowed off as by a scythe where the Bolter has crashed through from the peak above.

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Now is that not the most amazing cryptid you've ever heard of Chelsea?

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It pretty much is. It's obviously extinct now or they're still sighting, do you think?

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To be perfectly honest, the the leading theory that this was just like a fun tail that Lumberjacks

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hold each other and the knights to just pass the time, but I need to show you the illustration

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of this thing Chelsea. Okay, sharing my screen. There is the unsuspecting slide rock Bolter

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coming down the hill. Pretty much what I was thinking actually. Yeah, yeah, look at that.

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There you go. Yeah, that's a good one. You can find a few pictures of slide rock Bolters. They're

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fantastic. But yeah, it's just like I felt like it was a bit of an addition to our like

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fringy mini topics of whales taking down the rich in that maybe they shouldn't be partying in Colorado

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anymore because maybe the orcas will have their number there. There is a bit more. That is more

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terrifying. Yes, like most creatures that Lumberjacks told stories about the slide rock Bolter was

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probably conjured up late one night as part of the storytelling contest when seasoned campers

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competed to convince newcomers that fearsome critters lurked in the woods far away from the

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ocean where any real station would swim the form of a whale was likely chosen because of its great

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size and distinctive tail which suits the peculiar behavior of this particular cryptid. Tox's account

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goes on to describe how one forest ranger tricked the slide rock Bolter into attacking a dummy

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dressed as a tourist debate, a Colorado guidebook and a Norfolk jacket common to the upper class

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went men who could afford to seek adventure in the exotic West. The dummy was stuffed with dynamite.

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However, and when the Bolter slid down lizard head for the kill, the resulting explosion flattened

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half of the buildings in Rico which were never rebuilt. It is this story's unusually precise

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geographic location in Rico Colorado that enables us to situate the Bolter in a wider context.

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An investigation into the economic history of Rico reveals the slide rock Bolter to be a snapshot

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of the tension that came with a time of great change in southwestern Colorado. I think that's

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far enough for where this is because I just wanted to talk about the rock Bolter. It's fantastic.

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I love that it was like a group of guys probably sitting around a fire, a campfire. I don't know

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why I was going to say that backwards. And this one guy was like, oh yeah? Well have you ever heard

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of the slide rock Bolter? It's literally the biggest creature on the planet and it couldn't just hide

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in plain sight because it's so gigantic. Well that's its whole thing. Nobody's looking for a

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giant whale on a mountainside. They're not going to notice. Yeah because they wouldn't expect it

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there. So if you're not expecting it there you're just not going to see it no matter how large it

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is even if it's larger than the mountain itself. Well it can't be larger than the mountain itself.

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That is clear. That one picture is a little off-putting because its entire hunting strategy is to let

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itself slide down the mountain. So it can't be bigger than the mountain. And it literally can't

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get anywhere if it's not in water because these renderings, I mean it's just sliding down the

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mountain. I don't know how I get that. Yeah no if you look up images of slide rock Bolter there's

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some fantastic ones out there and I am just, we need to put this out into the zeitgeist.

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That this needs to be a horror movie of people going camping and going for a hike and then they

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suddenly hear something and they don't know what it is and just a whale is sliding down and eats

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one of their friends. No it would have to eat the majority of them and then one lucky person

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is not Eden. Well no importantly Chelsea two things and he's eat most of them and also their

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camping gear. Yeah. Like there needs to be something to say that they're stuck there

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on this mountainside full of whale. Oh yeah it would make a pretty good ad horror movie. Yeah.

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But yeah I'm kind of hoping once the billionaires figure out these land yacht things that these,

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the slide rock Bolter figures that out. Like it knows what it needs to do it's in its genetics.

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The point was made clear from, wrote that article. Cox. The slide rock Bolter itself.

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Well it's not up to much it's just waiting for Pastor Pies to go through.

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It could write a blog or two while it waits. Yeah well now you get a triple creature feature

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this week. We are just jamming it in there you guys are so lucky. Lucky you guys. I don't know

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how you guys are going to manage with all this luckiness but I don't know find lucky pennies or

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gold or something. I don't care just do what you will with your 48 hours and we'll see you back

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here you terrified people. Bye. Yeah. Bye.