Breaking news. We have new categories.
But I'm picking the category this week, but I need to tell you about the new categories on this Fringy Mini.
I am just curious, is it because there's something that couldn't be fit into a category, or is it because one category was getting too big and need to be split?
No, no, that would never be an instance that we would need to consider. They can go on forever. They're limitless.
Okay.
They defy time and physics, just so that we're all on the same page.
We've got to be filed. I don't think that's new. I don't even think that's a category.
But here I am telling you about it. Feeling like science can't choose between good and bad feelings.
I have to tell you them all again, because they're just perfect.
In fact, we don't get a choice. Okay.
We've got feeling like an update, back to feeling uncertain. Pretty sure this is bad.
Feel bad. Feel good. Eelers choice, in which that's another one that I'll just make the choice for you.
And then the best one yet, which is the category I'm choosing from today.
What's going on in the National Parks 411? We're taking the missing 411 phenomenon in a totally different direction.
Okay. Chelsea, I just feel like there were two new categories before that one, with the feeling like an update and feeler's choice.
So, okay. There's three new categories. Okay. Three new categories. My math is a little rusty.
That's the problem when you work outside time and space and physics. Exactly.
I'm just going to do the work though. I'm going to choose a couple of these, or I could just read all the headlines that I have right now and knock them all out of this category right now and replenish it for next time.
Because I feel like it'd be months before we revisit this. So let's do that. If anything tickles your fancy, just let us know and we can read the whole article. Okay?
Are you talking to me or the viewer? Listener?
Probably you, because they can't talk to us. Okay, fair enough.
Unfortunately. Unless they put in the comments in Spotify or YouTube maybe, but by then it's too late.
Or email us.
Sorry. I mean, if you have a time machine or something, send it to us now. Can we check the email for the comments?
Yeah, one sec. Yeah, nothing there yet.
Okay, okay. So no one has a time machine that is listening. So that sucks.
First headline. Calling out bad behavior at Yellowstone National Park. Well, that really sucks to read for a headline.
Are we going to talk about the guy who punched the bison?
Yes. Next headline. Yellowstone tourist kicks bison in his leg before it turns and injures him. It gets better.
Drunken tourist kick bison in Yellowstone National Park, officials say. Disorderly Yellowstone tourist arrested after skirmish with bison.
I think these are all the same guy.
It might be. I'm going to assume it's not, though. I'm just going to assume that people get into fights with bison all the time at Yellowstone.
I've seen a lot of bison. They're looking for it.
They are. I've mostly seen it from afar because they are looking for it.
Oh yeah. Tourist mauled after rolling down window to take selfie with bear.
Thoughtless tourist flags down giant elk for photos at Banff National Park.
Tourist caught clamoring onto cliffs over. Tourist caught clamoring onto cliffs after. Damn it. Tourist. Damn it.
Okay, let's calm down. Tourist caught clamoring onto cliffs over roaring Yellowstone waterfall to horror of lawnlookers.
National parks are researching for missing man who may have gone down Colorado River in self-made raft.
Tourist bitten after foolishly luring in coyote at National Park. What did you think was going to happen?
Those aren't even like that majestic of creatures. Like honestly, if you had to rank National Park Animal Majesticness, coyote is near the bottom.
Oh, it's right near the bottom. They don't even look like they're that nice to want to pet.
No. But I don't know. It's a tourist. So who knows. Maybe they never seen a coyote before.
Do they think it was a wolf? Or as some people would say wolf?
Or a dog. I think that's actually a TikTok. Oh, here's a good one.
Tourist spotted playing with baby on wet rocks above Glacier National Park waterfall.
And finally, tourist season has begun. New levels of stupidity already seen in Yellowstone.
There's a few of those. I'm wondering if we'll make it into missing 411 because we see this guy going down in a self-made raft on the Colorado River.
And he was probably found near River when he was discovered.
Oh, figure. And then tourist spotted playing with baby on wet rocks.
Chelsea. Also some water there. Yes.
Can we revisit the tourist kicking the bison? Just because I want to know if we get a statement from the drunk man.
Okay. What one should we go with? Drunken tourist kick bison? Yeah. That one feels like it's going to be objective.
Okay. It really does. Okay. There's a picture of a bison.
Story by Sam Mauhey Moore. Three days ago. It's a two minute read.
I'm glad they didn't put the words because that just seems daunting when they put the words.
Again, title. Drunken tourist kick bison in Yellowstone National Park, officials say.
I wonder if they get the National Park Service Guy comment. Okay. Let's read it and find out.
An intoxicator visitor at Yellowstone National Park allegedly kicked a bison,
resulting in the visitor being injured and later arrested.
The National Park Service announced. Oh my God. Look at them doing their job.
A 40 year old resident of Idaho Falls is being charged with four crimes in connection with the incident,
according to a Park Service press release.
On April 21st, park rangers received a report of an individual disturbing a herd of bison.
The individual allegedly kicked a bison in the lake. The Park Service said rangers said they then located him
in West Yellowstone, Montana, along with the 37 year old who was driving the pair.
The man experienced minor injuries from his tiff with the bison,
for which he was treated at a nearby medical facility before being taken to the Gallatin County Detention Center.
The man was arrested. I got a wonder.
But do you think they told the medical center what happened and it's kind of one of those shady ones like you'd see a better call Saul or breaking bad?
Or do you think they're just like, you know, I was just walking along and hurt my leg or something?
You know, I would probably think he probably tried to.
I'm just wondering if there was a tip. Like did the medical center tip off the National Park?
I mean, I like to divulge more information than I should when I have had a few drinks.
I'm just going to go on the record and say I don't like to fight with bison.
Still, if I've had a glass of wine or.
Okay, sorry, I thought you were going to say but I'm glad it didn't go that way.
And.
But if they're asking for.
I might divulge it.
This guy might have been worked up.
Maybe that he thought this bison did something to him.
I mean, he kicked it.
He had to have reasons for kicking it.
Do you think the bison said something to him?
We'll never know.
I don't think we actually get.
Do we get his view on this?
I'm guessing we don't just because it wouldn't be fair to get his point of view,
but not the bison's point of view.
That's true.
So maybe he was just all riled up after going to the hospital and he was like,
listen to this as fucking bison was the utmost drunk.
It was belligerent.
Yeah.
I'd ring racial slurs.
I just had to step in and then they're like, we're just going to call the authorities on you.
Sir.
Okay, it goes on.
I need to read this part.
This is only one of several instances of visitors harassing wildlife at Yellowstone.
Animals like bison elk and bears have been disturbed by tourists so often that the park service published a news release last summer imploring people to leave a respectable distance between themselves and whatever creatures they may encounter during their time at the park.
In particular, bison have been at the center for some of the park's more alarming incidents.
This leads me to believe they're doing something.
I don't think they're innocent.
Before the man's encounter, the last report of someone being injured by a bison occurred in July 2023 when one of the animals gored a woman on the shore of Lake Yellowstone.
The year prior, three bison related injuries were reported at the park according to park officials.
Looks like they're assholes.
That's actually lower than I thought it would be.
For bison?
Per year in Yellowstone.
Three per year.
It's not bad actually.
See, I'm thinking it's more of an epidemic of people doing stupid stuff around bisons, then I guess.
Yeah, I joke when I say that it's the bison.
There it is.
Court records show the tourists were each released from jail on $3,500 bonds.
They are banned from Yellowstone and will appear in court again for status hearings.
I jumped to the end of the article.
Okay.
And it should be noted too, as we've talked about it in the past, I think it was on our de-extinction episode.
These are not native bisons to North America, so they don't speak our language.
You can't reason with them.
Just avoid getting into interactions with them.
I think it's the best bet.
Yeah, there's a lot of misunderstandings.
They don't understand it.
Makes sense.
Anyhow.
Okay, Chelsea, thank you for that update.
Oh, you're welcome.
I'm sure we'll be able to stack that back up soon enough.
And in any event, we have an episode coming out in 48 hours where I'm sure you will be entertained.
So keep those ears open and on the lookout for our next episode.
Bye, everybody.
Bye.