I'd hate to play into this and make us that podcast. We're not that podcast. I'm just gonna tell you
before I even give you the news article. However, this did catch my eye a little bit. Have you seen
anything about Kate Middleton recently? Oh, yes. She has cancer. The theory goes. Is it? Okay. That's
what I've been hearing. Yeah. There's a lot of theories about what's going on with her because
of last time anybody saw her it was back around Christmas and she's been very elusive since then
and her husband, Prince Harry. No, Charles William William and Harry has canceled some pretty major
appearances. One was a funeral that he missed out because I don't know. It was important. Maybe
I should just read the article and then we can find out. So this is from Forbes. This is called
the Kate Middleton is missing conspiracy theory explained. I don't think it's going to explain
it because I would prefer to perpetuate the conspiracy theories about where she is. If anything,
because you know, they're the royal family, they're up to stuff. Yeah. And if it's something that you're
up to, you know that British Andy is going to be involved. Oh, yeah. So yeah, I saw it. I was intrigued
and I liked it. So now we're going to talk about it. And by the time this comes out, we may know
where she is. We probably will know where she is for sure. And then the last one, I'm going to read it.
Yeah, probably best to not speculate that she's dead because that would be a real awkward one to
come out. It won't need to. Okay, here we go. Conspiracy theories jokes and memes regarding
the whereabouts of Kate Middleton have reached a fever pitch on social media. The Princess of
Wales has not been seen in public since Christmas day and the internet has grown curious. That's
where the curious go the internet. While speculation has been growing in gossipy corners of the
internet for some time, the conspiracy theories and memes hit the mainstream after news broke that
Middleton's husband Prince William would not be attending a memorial service for King Constantine
of Greece due to a personal matter. He doesn't like Greeks. Probably. Is that the conspiracy theory
that William is just kind of racist? I love how this article is calling it gossipy and speculation.
I love it. Gossipy social media commentators connected the Princess mysterious personal
matter to the Princess seemingly vanishing from public life. So where is Kate Middleton? In
January, Kensington Palace announced that Middleton had undergone abdominal surgery and was returning
home after a stay in the hospital. The surgery was reportedly a success, but the palace noted
that Middleton would not be able to return to public duties until after Easter and wanted to
keep her medical status private. When it comes to the royal family, however, privacy only sparks
frenzied speculation and royalist quickly noted that even the British tabloids hadn't been able
to snap a photo of Middleton since her hospital stay. Did anyone think to ask British Andy what's
going on? It doesn't seem like it. He'd probably give you an answer for like 20 bucks. He probably would.
Like, not even 20 bucks. Rumors began to take off after Spanish TV host Concha Kayaja claimed that
the Princess had been put in a medically induced coma due to surgical complications citing an
anonymous source within the royal household. There's some people saying that this has some merit to it
because the housekeepers or something are Spanish and probably leaked something to the tabloids,
but that's just reddit speculation from the gossipy corners of the internet.
The palace has aggressively pushed back against the claim describing Kayaja's coma story as
total nonsense that hasn't stopped the internet from taking an interest in running wild with
conspiracy theories. So what is the Kate Middleton conspiracy theory? There are several, actually,
and we heard one right now from Taylor that she has cancer. We can just keep coming up with them.
We know this, like the back of our hands, maybe. Ranging from sinister cover-ups to absurd
speculations. That's quite the range there, Forbes. Let's see. Okay. Rumors have surrounded the Prince
and Princess for some time with online whispers of a troubled marriage, impending divorce, or even
speculation that Prince William has been having an affair. Some have even suggested domestic
violence, citing rumors of Prince William's short temper. The affair one seems like the
dumbest one. Wouldn't he be the one that's too busy to be out in public? Yeah, no, I didn't get
that one, but maybe in order for him to have an affair, she must not be seen. Or is she just having
affairs and she's not showing up to things because of it? Short temper, along with the claim, Prince
Harry made in an autobiography spare that an altercation between him and his brother had turned
physical. On Reddit, where I like to lurk, one commenter broke down the rumors and noted how
unusual it was that there had been no recent photos of Middleton writing, this is the same woman who
was doing a photo op in full hair makeup holding her newborn within 24 hours of each of her children's
birth. The commentator went on to highlight how King Charles has recently been diagnosed with
cancer but has not disappeared from public life. The same commentator also linked an article from
British tabloid, The Mirror, that claimed Middleton was emotionally volatile but has since been edited
with Kate Middleton's name replaced by Prince Harry. I didn't see that article. An editor's note
clarifies that Middleton being the focus of the original story was made in error. Online commentators
weren't sure what to make of the drastic change. Others have suggested that Middleton has been
recovering from cosmetic surgery with some jokingly suggesting a Brazilian butt lift,
where someone's saying that she got an unflattering haircut and is taking time to grow it out.
Yeah, so we're not sure where Kate Middleton is. There has actually been a picture that has come out
of her in a car with sunglasses which just kind of like sparked a more frenzied...
That really brings a weekend at Bernie's theory to life.
Yes, I know. It just added fuel to the fire because everyone's like, it's clearly AI.
That she's missing. She's for sure missing now because...
And someone like saying she would never wear those sunglasses. That's not her.
Oh man, is this gonna turn into the next Britney Spears thing?
I don't know, but they can kill it easily by her just coming out into the public. And I predict that
by the time this episode comes out we will for sure have sightings of Kate Middleton. But for now,
I quite enjoy the royal conspiracies because they're so wild. Some of them not conspiracy theories.
Or to Shandy, for example, just an all-round terrible person.
And that is the...
The unlovable fuckup.
Yes, exactly. The unlovable fuckup. Yes.
Yeah, and I mean we've speculated enough about racist issues going on. We know there's racist
issues within the... What?
Royal?
Royal family? I was gonna call it the castle. But...
I don't actually know if that's a proper term to call a royal family.
I don't know.
But that is something to think on. Like what can we call them? What's the castle got going on? I
don't mind that.
Those guys.
But you guys mull that over. Let us know within the next 48 hours if that's an acceptable use.
If you don't get back to us by then you get no say in the matter.
Yeah, and that's that. It's been decided.
Yeah, and this... You gotta start now. Bye.
Bye.