That sound means we have another Game for a Movie
podcast. It's episode 24. We have been off for
a little bit, but mostly because theaters have
also been off for a little bit. So I've been
gone since like March. Have I missed anything?
Yes, you've obviously lived under a rock. Have
you guys seen this thing called Tiger King? I
mean, oh my God, just so blown away. That was
like 20 years ago. I can't wait to talk about
that for the first time today. Dude, we talked
about Tiger King two episodes ago. Look, man,
it's been a long year. That's true. It has been
a long March. We're still in March, right? Yeah,
what? I'm so excited to watch 10 of these theaters.
It's going to be great. Oh, God. went to see
Doolittle. It was like two weeks ago. It was
great. God damn it. Yeah, the last movie I saw
was Cats in theaters, so yeah, it's been real
great. Mine was Onward, so I think I win. You
win. Okay. I win. We made a shit go wrong. No,
Parasite wins. Parasite wins. But I am your host,
Mike. I am joined by Andre and Jill virtually.
And I'm joined by Mitchell in person, which kind
of caught me off guard because I was like, oh,
Mitchell's here. You know what? I'm just like,
I haven't seen my boy Mike since Thursday, so
I may as well roll up and say hi. Hey, I appreciate
it. I'm glad to have you. We're going to be talking
about some movies. We're also going to be talking
about some beers. Mitchell and I are enjoying
some Black Hog Brewing, the Oktoberfest or Fest
beer. Very tasty. Andre, what are you drinking
there? Big cranky, good call. Jill, what are
you drinking? Is it your tea of the day? It is
my tea of the day. It is Earl Grey Moonlight
from Adagio Teas with a little bit of honey into
it. I love Earl Grey. I love Earl Grey tea. You
can't go wrong with that. What's the APV on that
tea? APV? It's kind of low. I think it's like
a 4. But this would taste really good if infused
with gin. Ooh, there you go. So Jill's going
to have the best vocal performance out of anyone
on this podcast. She's got the tea going. Everyone
else is putting alcohol in their system. She's
like, you know what? You know what? I'm just
going to keep it warm. I'm going to keep it nice
for my body. And I'm very excited for her review
in particular. I mean, I can't even say anything.
I drank a Coca -Cola today. That's basically
been my day. I've just shot my voice in general.
It's going to be great. So we are going to take
it to you guys first, remotely. So you guys have
been watching something during the pandemic,
and I just want your opinions on what you have
seen so far about it. Get excited, everybody
at home listening. That is a tease. Okay. Keep
going. Sick. All right. Well, so welcome to the
fast and furious halfway retrospective, I guess.
Vroom, vroom. I should know that the reason that
this retrospective is possible is thanks to our
good friend Mike for lending us his Blu -ray
DVD collection. Yes. Yes. We could not be here
without you. God, I totally forgot I still have
that. Jesus. We have it now. Well, yeah, yeah,
yeah. On our TV console right now. I still have
it digitally. I still have it digitally. Any
special features. You know what? Just occurred
to me. All right. Sounds like a date night to
me. We have watched The Fast and Furious, Too
Fast, Too Furious, Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift,
Fast and Furious, and Fast Five. The most complicated
naming order ever. Okay, cool. So we have watched
through Fast Five. You also missed one in there
that is not an order, but you definitely have
seen. Oh, yes, we have seen Hobbs and Shaw. Yes.
But I feel like you need to treat that as a separate
film because it's so different. We've just met
Hobbes in Fast and Furious. All of his sweaty
glory. Wow, I did not realize that Rock, they
made him very sweaty. We'll get there, we'll
get there. He's got to be a shiny Rock. Very
shiny. Yeah, just distractingly shiny. Anyways,
so yeah, I don't know. This is a franchise about
cars, driving fast, and I think the first movie
epitomizes the racing aspect of the series the
best, I would say. Yes. Donald J. is the most
grounded. Introduces us to our main characters.
I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Yeah.
Family. Corona. That's true. They do drink a
lot of Corona. It's a ton, man. Yeah. The product
placement in these movies, it's up there. Yeah.
It's aggressive. I feel like it's one of those
movies that just needs product placement, though.
Yeah. It's not a Michael Bay movie, but it's
definitely Michael Bay inspired. Yeah. Yeah.
Sorry, keep going. Oh, no. So, yeah, the first
movie introduces us to our core characters. We
meet Paul Walker's Brian, whose name I definitely
forgot after a period of time. I almost just
called him Brian Walker. Paul Walker as Brian.
And we have Vin Diesel as Dom Toretto. And it's
all about street racing. And they do a pretty
good job with that. There are... No, they do
not know how to dress them. Wow, Vin Diesel,
a better actor. Like, I don't usually hear that.
I'll say Vin Diesel. You hear this a lot, but
some people are born to play certain roles, and
I think Dom is definitely that role for Vin.
He fits that character like a glove. Well, having
seen Bloodshot or whatever it is, I don't know
if I'd necessarily still say that Vin Diesel's
the better actor. I remember looking this up,
and correct me if I'm wrong, Vin Diesel's roles
as a character were Saving Private Ryan, then
Sorry that I didn't look this up. And I think
Fast and the Furious is probably his next film
or the second film after that. The only question
I have is when did Riddick come into play? Right,
so I think Riddick was after because I thought
he didn't do I thought he didn't come back on
for the sequel because he was doing Riddick.
So there's actually a few films before Saving
Private Ryan. He did some smaller things. So
Saving Private Ryan The Iron Giant, Boiler Room,
Pitch Black, which is... Pitch Black is Riddick.
Yeah, the first of them. And then Fast and the
Furious. So even then, in 2001, when he only
has a few films under his belt, he's still by
far the best actor in the film. Yeah. It's a
fun ride, you know, especially considering it's
the first and at the time no one expected it
to become anything. Yeah, we... It's good for
what it is. We're nine movies deep now. Who knew
that was going to happen when the film was? It
all started with them trying to steal DVD players.
God damn. That was the point? That's the plot.
They're trying to bust a DVD player stealing
rig. Okay, friends. We got it now. We're rehashing
this. We're recreating it. They're stealing Blu
-ray players now. There it is. It wouldn't even
be stealing Blu -ray. PS5s? All 40 that were
created? I am in the market for stealing a PS5.
Let's do it. You son of a bitch. I'm in. Heist
movie. Let's go. Shockingly, despite how silly
what they're doing is trying to steal DVD players,
the car cinematography is rather cool. I don't
want to go down because it's not like guns or
anything like that. There's a good car chase
right at the end with them. I think it's probably
my favorite part of that movie. I'm surprised
how much, like, yes, there's some things that
definitely don't hold up, but I'm surprised how
much that movie has held up. Like, you can still
watch it today and be happy. Yeah, yeah. And,
like, I like the kind of, the question was not
the right word, but the cliffhanger, it's a good
cliffhanger, I guess, you know? Spoilers, I guess,
for a nearly 20 -year -old movie now at this
point, but, like, yeah, like, Brian lets Dom
go, and it's very, it's kind of ambiguous. Like,
okay, what's going to happen? Is he going to
get arrested? You know, yeah. And then we follow
that up with, of course, Too Fast, Too Furious.
So I have a thing about this one. So when I was
in my last year living with some roommates I
had in grad school, we actually watched the first
two Fast and the Furious films. And we watched
Too Fast, Too Furious. And at the time, I thought
that movie was the most hilarious thing ever.
I really liked the introduction of Tyrese as
Rome, Roman. Right. Who's Paul Walker's friend.
I thought it was just, like, this great manic
energy, and, oh, this movie's so funny. Ha ha
ha ha ha. Upon rewatch, Tyrese is still hilarious,
but I think he's the only person who's like,
I'm just gonna have a fucking good time with
this. Yeah. The villain is laughable. He's a
drug kingpin. Oh, God, it's so bad. Yeah, so,
like... So, yeah, take us through the plot, Andre.
Well, so, basically, this... So, the biggest
problem... So... Two Fast and Furious has already
started behind the eight ball because Vin Diesel
did not return. So Dom is not in this movie.
Nowhere to be found. It's mainly... So that just
means that Paul Walker's Brian gets way more
screen time. And as we alluded to before, he's
not the best actor, and he's totally serviceable
as a main character, but he's not the reason
I would watch those early films, at least. Yeah,
okay. That's fair. And Jill's right, so quickly
Tyrese becomes, it's like a buddy cop movie almost.
They changed it from a movie about street racing
to super secret agents that have to street race
to keep their cover. Undercover cops. Undercover
cops to street race to keep their cover. And
it's immediately much more silly but not in a
fun way. It's just, I don't know. These movies
kind of ratchet up the ridiculousness and I think
that... it ends up being, you know, more fun
in a different way. I would say that that's not
the case with Too Fast, Too Furious, because
it's just silly and... I mean, you haven't even
brought up the rat torture scene, so... Oh, my
God. Yeah, so the main bad guy is this drug muggle,
and he... Oh, my God. So, basically, they work
with the border security to try to get this guy
arrested, and... His whole intimidation tactic
is that he has dirty cops working for him, and
one of them is about to flip. He's like, oh,
I don't know about this. And, like, they hold
him down at the bar, and he's like, I have a
bunch of rats that I don't feed ever, so that
makes them super desperate. One rat. Oh, yeah,
sorry. It's a rat. And then we heat up the bucket
that it's under. Yeah, yeah. Claws way out. Put
the rat on your belly, and then heat the bucket
up, and then it's going to scratch its way through
your insides, and it's like... You can totally
tell they're trying to go for something that's
like, whoa, this is super gruesome. This guy's
fucked up. I fail to see the problem. It's just,
it's okay. This guy is rad. It's like, wow, neat.
Like, I don't know. Yeah. I would say, like,
as an intimidating villain, kind of an eye roll,
he's too in the scenery. Like, towards the end
of the film, he's on a yacht waving an AK -47
around. Yeah. That's true. My kind of dude. Yeah.
I would say that... the lightning bolt did not
strike twice here it did not it needed Vin Diesel
they didn't really with the exception of a few
passing lines there is no other members of the
the family that we saw in the first one I do
appreciate the joke the constant joke to Paul
Walker's character about like don't sleep with
the bait yeah that was kind of a nice little
continuation but yeah I mean like so Tyrese is
fun in this movie but he's no Vin you know yeah
I was pleasantly surprised. I was kind of surprised
how much I enjoyed his return in Fast Five, but...
We'll get to that after... I will say that of
the Fast and the Furious films, this is the only
one whose director was not invited to come back.
Okay, that's fair. Too Fast, Too Furious, the
big stinker, but not only is it a very controversial
take... I'll be honest, I love Too Fast, Too
Furious, so it is a controversial take to me.
Because literally, I... I don't know what it
is about this movie. It's like the perfect nostalgia
trip for me, I guess. It's one of those I saw
in theaters, I loved it, and it hasn't gone down
for me even though I know it's terrible. In theaters,
this movie would have been fun. Now I wonder,
do you like Mission Impossible 2? I do not like
Mission Impossible 2. I would put Too Fast, Too
Furious and Mission Impossible 2 in similar tiers
of... I can see what you're saying there, but
I don't care for Mission Impossible 2. That's
the one I've gone back to the least, and it's
just unnecessary, it feels like. I do love the
John Woo pigeon shot, though, which is used several
times in Mission Impossible 2. That is definitely
John Woo, yes. It's John Singleton. Let me correct
myself right now. Yeah, Mitchell says John Singleton.
John Singleton, yeah, most famous for Boys in
the Hood. Boys in the Hood. Yeah, so he's definitely
one of those groundbreaking black writers and
directors. I'm that guy. Yes, so I wouldn't say
that action movies were his forte, and I think
this was him dipping his toes in it a little.
But yeah, but everything else, if you look at
this guy's TV, RIP, by the way. Really good stuff,
up and down, including television work. He did.
I'd be shocked if there was a decent amount of
studio interference on this one, too. Yeah, I
could see that. You can edit me out saying that
John Woo did Too Fast, Too Furious. I'll say
it. Yes, I edited it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's agree
he did that. Yeah. Three. The most surprising
dark horse here is the one that has nothing to
do with the first film. So I was going to this
movie, and everyone tells me that Tokyo Drift
is really bad, and I'm like, God, we just finished
Too Fast, Too Furious, we've got to watch Tokyo
Drift now? God, man, this is going to suck. That's
Tokyo Drift. Maybe it was that load of expectations
that helped a lot, but I had a lot of fun with
that movie. So I feel like, was Tokyo Drift released,
like, years after Too Fast, Too Furious? No,
I don't think it was a lot of time after. Hold
on, I have the list. I was going to say, I feel
like it was, like, two years, so it kind of had,
like, three years difference. But, you know,
think about, so it might have been released three
years after, but it probably went into production
in, like, a year and a half. Because that movie
has far more CGI, or not CGI, but it has far
more green screen effects. traveled, I think,
to Tokyo, so they had to go there. Well, my thing
was more so, like, you guys are saying that it
was better than Too Fast, Too Furious. I'm wondering
if it was released earlier, would it have done
better? Okay, fair enough. If that had been the
second one, just jump it to be in an anthology
series, if you will. Yeah. Or, well, really,
or just after Too Fast, Too Furious was released.
You give that three -year gap, everybody forgets
how bad Too Fast, Too Furious was. And they go
to Tokyo Drift, and it's like, oh, God, this
was another bad one. This sucks. Versus, like,
hey, this was actually better when you just right
after watched Too Fast, Too Furious. I think
what worked for me was that it was silly. It
was very stupid, very silly movie. But not fun.
Like, I was able to laugh. I feel like I was
laughing with the movie almost more. Okay. I
was having a better time at the ridiculousness
of it. You liked the villain in this one. I did.
DK is a fun villain to watch. The DK, which stands
for Drift King, the guy that shows up at the
parking garage and just drifts his ass all over
the main character. What's his name? Sean? Who
even cares? No, it's not John. Generic white
guy. Sean. Sean. You were close. He looks like
a high schooler. He looks like he's in his 20s,
but whatever. I mean, it was probably played
by an adult. Let's call it what it is. Yeah,
no, no. We looked up his age. He was like 25.
Yeah, okay. Which is pretty standard, but he
looks pretty old to be passing for 18. Yeah.
DK drifts his ass all over this guy at this parking
garage, and it is hype. He has this whole entourage.
He just has this mean, mugging face that just
looks like he knows what he's doing, and immediately
I'm buying in, like, all right, we need to take
this asshole down. I want to punch this guy's
face. We want to drift him out of the fucking
sky, all right? God, no, no, all you, all you.
So what I was going to say is that unlike Too
Fast, Too Furious, and even Fast and the Furious,
which had these plots of either an undercover
cop trying to bust a ring of thieves or an undercover
cop trying to bust a drug kingpin. Tokyo Drift
doesn't really have a plot. The setup is this
high schooler gets into one too many car accidents
because he's stealing these cars and he's either
going to go to juvie or he has to go live with
his dad in Japan, his estranged father. So he
ends up going to Japan. and he's really i wouldn't
say this movie big trouble little china it but
he's just kind of there going from set piece
to set piece okay to more car racing yeah there
is no driving plot it's he's in japan he sees
the racing he makes some friends who have car
connections so he can get behind the wheel of
a car he gets his ass handed to him by dk now
he's embarrassed he's like i'm gonna learn to
drift and that's That's the story. There is no
way possible. The final act throws the Yakuza
in there. Yeah, because he needs to bring honor
to his family and his grandfather apparently
really cares. I mean, haven't you heard the term
Deus Ex Yakuza? Yeah, basically. Boom! But even
that's not really a driver of the plot. You know,
you've embarrassed the family. one too many times,
get your act together, and, like, the finale
is the DK, his grandfather is in the, I can't
say it. Yakuza. Yakuza. Yakuza. And, you know,
he gets showed up a bit, he looks kind of stupid,
and the grandfather's like, okay, you guys are
gonna do a race, and whoever wins can date this
girl. Yeah, right, they put the love interest
as, like, the bet. The bet? What? Yeah. Yeah.
There's a girl who's like, my reputation is questionable,
so I'm dating this guy, and if I don't date him,
everybody thinks I'm a whore, and it's really
stupid. She's easily indebted to the Yakuza.
It's so stupid. Yeah, it's really stupid, but
that's the finale. It's not like you have to
get money, or you need to find the drugs, or
you need to stop the bomb. It's a love story.
You embarrassed my grandson, so do one more race,
and we'll see who really... is like the king
of thrifting his carly goes off a cliff and in
theory he should have died and the grandfather's
like girl you can date the american yeah what
that's fine that's a wrap oh no that's the end
the wrap is at the end the end credit sequence
they tease What is it? Oh, we haven't even talked
about Han. No, we haven't talked about the best
character in the franchise. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah. Best character in the franchise?
He's in the top three, at least. I don't think
he's in the top three, but best? I don't think
it's the hot take. I think I've heard that before.
Everything needs to revolve around Dom Toretto.
Yeah, no, Dom definitely is up there. We need
to introduce who this character is. So, in Tokyo
Drift, the American teenager, Sean, He totally
fails at drifting because he's never had to do
it before. This Chinese guy named Han is like,
I will teach you how to drift. By the way, I
have a lot of money, I'm pretty aloof, and I
got great hair. His hair is fantastic. And I'm
gonna die. Han and him become really good friends,
and things kind of go south with the Drift King
DK. There's a really great car chase sequence,
and Han ultimately dies. Yep. And, you know,
his loss, we felt that, because he was, like,
by far the best thing in the movie. And then
at the end of the film, after Sean becomes the
new Drift King, and he's got his trophy girlfriend,
the credits go, and then, you know, they're in
the garage, and a car pulls up, the window rolls
down, and there is Vin Diesel. Yeah, what was
it they said? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he says he knows
Han. He says he was, like, family. And then as
soon as he said, like, family, I was like, what?
And the end credits ends with them getting ready
to do a race. We don't know who would win, but
naturally Dom. And Han, in my opinion, so far,
is like my favorite character in this franchise.
That's fair. He's got great hair, and later he
sleeps with Gal Gadot. Yeah, right. Exactly.
I mean... He does. Damn, he does. We'll get there.
We'll get there. Tokyo Drift. Tokyo Drift. brings
us to fast four let's make uh fast four fast
five and hobs and shaw fit into a five to ten
minute like yeah sorry no no no we'll keep it
brief because honestly it's fast four i don't
really have any feelings on uh the it was kind
of fine like that was like okay cool it's the
big movie where where where brian and dom are
back together again and there's you say ryan
Oh, okay. I heard Ryan at first. I was like,
did you just call him Ryan? Are we just calling
him the wrong name on purpose now? Paul Walker.
Yeah, Paul Walker. Whatever. You know, it's supposed
to... The whole entire first half of the movie
is this whole tension of, like, oh, man, like,
they're on the opposite sides of the law, and
Brian wants to, you know, help out Dom, but he
also wants to be a good agent, so he needs to
bring Dom in, and he's trying to lessen his sentence
or whatever, and it's just meh. I don't know.
There's just Dom. Yeah. Fair. Right. Yeah. I
think it's the CIA. I don't remember who they
are this time. It's the CIA, yeah. It's the CIA.
He's been recruited by the CIA to help bust another
drug kingpin who, it turns out, has ties to the
probable murder of Letty. So that's why Dom and
Brian don't really team up until the last third
of the film because Dom's like, no, I'm going
to do this on my own, and Brian's like, no, let
me help you. It's fine. This is a movie that...
that introduces Gal Gadot's character for a hot
second I did not expect her to show up yeah but
she comes she comes back that's good yeah yeah
if she comes back it's great but I like Moody
Dom Moody Dom the best scene in the movie was
Jill alluded to it earlier, the best scene is
when we find out that Dom actually has Sherlock
Holmes powers, and, like, he drives the scene
where Letty was supposedly murdered, and, like,
pieces together exactly what happened with expert
vision about, oh, this is where her car flipped
over, and it flipped over exactly four times
before it landed on its head, and then, yeah,
it's just so silly. Goddamn, I'm gonna have to
rewatch these, aren't I? Because I slightly remember
it, but not completely, and it's just been a
while. It's just, it's fine. I'm happy to see
Vin back. It sets up the pieces nicely for Five.
That's the best thing I can say about Four. It's
like a transitional movie. It's fine. Not really
my favorite, but it was okay. Five. Fast Five.
Fast Five. So Four, as I said, just then sets
up the pieces for Fast Five. Fast Five starts
off, well, slight spoiler, Fast Four ends with
Dom almost going to jail again, but Brian, And
some other characters that we're going to bust
about. So Fast Five picks up with them trying
to save Dom from going to jail. And it's a really
great set piece. There's a good car chase at
the beginning. And then it cuts to them in Rio,
right? They're in Rio? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They
go to Rio. Brian's on the run. They meet up with
some familiar faces from the first film. And
the solution to their problems is we're going
to steal some cars and sell them. We're going
to make enough money and then we're going to
live our lives. We don't really know what happened
to Dom at this point. They do the crime. They
jump on a train. They steal some cars. Things
go sour very quickly. Dom shows up. It's a great
moment. But people die. And Dom and... Brian
go off into hiding because they've now pissed
off this crime lord. Which then, because of these
events, Dwayne The Rock Johnson's character,
Hobbs, gets brought into the movie. Hobbs! Because
some cops died, and no, no, Hobbs can't have
that. No cops dying. So he's supposed to be like
the hard -boiled cop that's like... The cop hunter.
Or the killer. He's like the bad guy hunter.
Dwayne The Rock Hobbs. There it is. He's extremely
sweaty. They added sweat to him. He is very glistening.
Even though he's been in a lot of movies at this
point in his career, he's still working as an
actor. Right now, I would say Dwayne The Rock
Johnson is a fun actor. I like seeing him in
movies, including Hobbs and Shaw. I think he's
fun in that movie, too. He's found his rhythm.
You can tell that he's not quite the thespian
he is today. Yeah, that's fair. I will say that
the real driving plot of this movie is after
they've pissed off this crime lord in Rio, they
decide that they're going to steal money from
him. And they'll be set for life. And I didn't
know it at the time, but the crime that they
decide to do is basically the plot of... the
italian job yep yeah i have now seen that yeah
the italian job if i could sum it up in the in
the my thoughts in in in succinctly about this
movie is that it was fun but it made me just
want to watch the italian job which we did uh
basically this is kind of it felt like a knockoff
of that almost which is which it yeah i don't
know see i'll say that the the fast five the
safe scene was probably one of my favorite pieces
of this whole like movie series absolutely only
your face is from the franchise. That's the payoff.
That was the payoff. Yeah, I agree with that.
That rewards the fans for watching all of these
other movies. Right. It almost felt not quite
Avengers -esque, but kind of that level. It's
like, oh man, all these characters are back.
Han's back. Gal Gadot's back. Tyrese is back.
Let's go. Good, Chris. Better hide your baby
oil. What's that? Better hide your baby oil.
Fast Five was a lot of fun. I think it was probably
15 minutes too long to set some things up. But
it really, the payoff of seeing all these characters
come together and play off one another, the heist,
when they actually finally pull it off, is great.
Though, knowing what we know now, and having
seen Hobbs and Shaw, the first four films are
still really tied to, these films are about street
racing and essentially car porn. this film is
the first one that had no car racing they tried
there was a few moments where it was like we're
gonna go let's race and they get close to the
car and then whatever something happens and they
stop from here on out these films go from being
about street racing to pulling like heist films
but with cars is my general understanding or
cia or whatever yeah I'm going to miss the street
racing. I think that's why Tokyo Drift is one
of my favorites, is because that film did away
with the plot completely and was all about the
street racing. That's fair. We've kind of talked
about Hobbs and Shaw before on this show, so
we'll drop that one. Overall, where you guys
are at, where would you give it one through five
stars, the whole Fast and Furious series, to
where you're at? The whole package? Yeah, the
whole package. couch and said wow that was a
waste of time that's fair though we can't it's
not going to be like there might be one of those
later today 3 .4 like 3 .5 yeah okay i'm at i'm
gonna go like a two and a half because it's just
right now the biggest problem my biggest problem
the fast and furious is that i'm getting inconsistent
enjoyment out of them you know like two fast
three real low low and fast the fourth fast and
furious fast and furious is not as fun for me
either right um I think overall, I'm glad we're
watching them, but, like, yeah, like, it's, like,
it's, it's, uh, I don't know, yeah, probably
about two and a half busters out of five. Yeah,
okay. I say three, three and a half. Like, I,
I enjoyed the set pieces. Two really is not as
good upon rewatch. Break my heart. Same, same,
same qualms about the, just Fast and Furious.
It's just really inconsistent. I don't like Fast
and Furious, so I'm on board with that. I care
about, Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and the good news is you
really only have one bad one of the three left.
I think there's a bad one. Okay, well, I guess
my opinion. I didn't care for six that much.
Yeah. And seven and eight. Eight is okay. What's
the last Paul Walker one, right? Seven is. Seven
is, yeah. And seven is my favorite of them all.
So it's giving away... So six, I think, is bad,
but not terrible. Like, I still enjoyed it. And
I think if I were to rank all of them, it'd be
just more in the middle or, like, half bottom,
you know? Yeah. Versus, like, seven is the top
top. So you're in for some good ones. And then,
like, eight's middle of the road. I think it
helps that we're firmly in. I think Justin Lin
directs... Oh, he didn't direct Fast Fury 7,
but, like, now he's finally a consistent director,
so at least there's a direction there. Right.
Yeah. Right. It knows what it is. The car racing
is really great. Yeah. It has some abominable
CGI at some times. Of course. You know what?
If you like a high octane experience where you
don't have to think too hard and you might be
a bit of a diesel head, seeing these movies on
a big screen, oh my god, that would be such an
experience. Yeah. See it in IMAX. Get the sounds
too. I would watch Tokyo Direct in IMAX. Yeah.
Hell yeah. All right, that'll bring us to Mitchell.
Mitchell, what did you watch for this podcast
here? So I guess I would say the closest tie
-in that my movie has with the Fast and Furious
franchise is actually with Tokyo Drift. So Andre,
buckle up. You actually might like this one.
So I'll say this. Over quarantine, my definition
of what a movie is has definitely broadened,
right? And we're at this point now where... Streaming
services have become the haven of places to watch
new things. And obviously documentary series
have become kind of one of the big things to
watch. And for me, something that just came out
within the past week on Disney +, it's Marvel
616. So it's an eight -part series. Every part
is its own thing. There are eight mini documentaries
that are about 40 to 50 minutes each. And they
opened it. So the whole concept of the series
is talking about real world culture based around
Marvel characters. Nice. So the very first one
that they get into is the Japanese Spider -Man
TV show from the 1970s. Oh, all right. It is
absolutely bonkers. So there's no Peter Parker.
There's none of this, right? So let me, I took
some notes here. So it aired from 70 to 79, 41
episodes and a movie. And how long is the movie?
24 minutes long. That's a movie? It was released
in theaters and they still called it a movie,
even though it was shorter than most of the TV
shows. Yeah, seriously. So everything about this
is bonkers. So the short story is this. A Marvel
publisher from New York wanted to sell the rights
to Spider -Man overseas somewhere. And he decided
to go off and go to Japan. So here he is running
around trying to figure out who to sell the rights
to the Spider -Man character to. And he realized
that when he was going to all these different
publishers, the Japanese comic book readers,
so basically manga readers, they were not into
American comics because there's too many words.
For manga, it's much more visually driven. And
for a character like Spider -Man, where a lot
of his character is what he says in his quips,
there's just too many words to take in. So he
realized that if they were going to sell this
character to someone, they would totally have
to revamp. And that's exactly what they did.
So eventually they came upon a TV production
company that specialized in children's media.
And they're like, all right, we got this character.
He crawls on walls. Here's his costume. Are you
in? And they said, yes, but we're going to do
something completely different. So the only thing
that you can recognize from this show, there's
no Aunt May, Uncle Ben, none of that. You would
just recognize the costume and that's pretty
much it. He doesn't even live in a big city because
it costs too much money to film in Tokyo. So
a lot of this is set in... I'm literally looking
up Google. I've seen Japanese Firemen before.
hasan looks like but i just googled just to look
at google animations there's fireman holding
a goddamn gun like a like he has a giant mecha
yes okay absolutely so one of the things that
they wanted to change because they knew like
to sell this to a japanese children's audience
that at the time and still now i would argue
that robots are a huge deal and they sell a lot
of toys which is kind of the story for all of
children's media success if you can capitalize
with it with toys then you're in you're in the
clear so just look at power rangers yeah so the
backstory for this spider -man he's not bitten
by a radioactive spider he doesn't have a crush
on mary jane this guy is a motocross stuntman
and event so his father studies space archaeology
that's like his title and in the pilot his father
investigates a ufo crashing in the middle of
this canyon when he gets down there he gets killed
so the guy who eventually becomes spider -man
who's his son goes down there and finds his dead
father and as he's mourning he sees someone in
a cave goes into this cave and it's this alien
who has the power of spiders And he's just like,
yo, man, I'm here because there's this bad guy
who wants to take over the world. I'm trying
to stop him. I'm too weak to stop him. So I'm
going to need you to carry on my fight. Do your
thing. Yeah. And the other guy's like, what?
And then before you know it, homeboy gives his
blood, his spider blood, to the guy who eventually
becomes Spider -Man. So it's not a radioactive
spider. It's a dude giving another dude his own
blood, which I'm sure has a lot of medical issues.
so anyway um so along with the spider powers
that he has now inherited and it's more of like
inspector gadget level stuff because he has like
a wristband like a singular wristband that carries
all his webbing and stuff um Which is rope, by
the way. It's a very thick rope. They're not
even pretending that it's webbing. Okay. And
he also inherits this alien's ship, which is
called the Marveler. So a little nod to Marvel.
And the Marveler, when this guy's in a position
where he's fighting a gigantic kaiju, which is
like every episode, will turn into this thing
called the Leopardon or Leopardon. Yes! And it
looks just like you would expect. Voltron, Transformers,
anything from Power Rangers. Basically, the visual
cues for all of those things started with Leopardon.
Leopardon. Yeah, and the main villain is not
Green Goblin. It's not Doc Ock. It is a man named
Professor Monster. Professor Monster. Professor
Monster. But get this. So the reason why they
chose Professor Monster. Okay. So in the Japanese
language, they stylized the name by saying Professor
in Japanese and Monster in English. So it sounds
like a mix of two languages. Yes. They love the
puns. They loved it. And they thought it sounded
cool to little Japanese kids. Because Monster,
it doesn't sound goofy. It sounds cool. Yeah.
So anyway. That is basically a glimpse behind
of basically how they completely converted this
character for a Japanese audience. And the big
part of this documentary, they're interviewing
all the people who are part of it. And they're
like, yeah, we're making it on the cheap, but
we're getting a lot of success. And then finally,
the bigwigs at Marvel, including Stan Lee, they
fly over to Japan to give it their blessing.
They watch it in some conference room in Tokyo.
And after it's all done, everyone's sweating
bullets. The people who worked on this. And they
got a sense in the room that no one from America
liked this. And they were right. Except for one
person who stood up and said, I like it. Stanley.
Stanley! Hell yeah. Stan is the guy who said,
you know what? For the first time ever. I felt
like this was a living comic book. Nice. And
there is nothing that we had seen from live action
American Spider -Man that would hold a candle
to this because this Spider -Man was actually
climbing on walls. They did all of the stunts
in a practical way. So when he was scaling up
a building, there was a stuntman. climbing up
a building with some strategically placed rope.
So a lot of the stunts were practical. Most of
it was, I would say. And they didn't go cheap
in terms of, well, it was entirely cheap. But
they tried to get the most practical effects,
action sequences possible. And that's what Stan
loved the most. And he understood that the changes
that were made were necessary to sell it to us.
They made the necessary money appear for the
thing. So that to me shows that Stanley wasn't
so precious about his own creation that any sort
of big changes to the character he was still
cool with still worked. Has anybody else read
Ready Player One? I did not read it. A long time
ago. That's why I asked. Is this the one that
has the robot? I knew Leopardon sounded familiar,
but like I said, it's been forever since I read
Ready Player One. I think I want to hate rant
for why I despise the movie. So this is a movie
that has a legacy far beyond its run. It was
only on Japanese airwaves for about a year, and
the whole stipulation for Stanley and everyone
else giving their blessing to this is that this
would not see Any audience beyond Japan forever
in their mind, right? And of course, technology
changes and people's curiosity for their favorite
characters change. And eventually Marvel released
all these TV shows and the movie, quote unquote,
on Marvel .com back in 2009. So that was the
first time, at least in a legal way. that American
audiences could watch the Japanese Spider -Man.
Nice. And the legacy that it holds, you know,
the show was canceled not so much for the lack
of success, but the production company that put
this on realized, well, the real big hits here
are the robots. Right. And they started to develop
more shows around that. Marvel took that same
cue, and they decided to make more comic... book
-based robot stories. And eventually, the big
hit became Transformers. And that was a big partnership
with Hasbro, obviously. But if you look at Japanese...
What's up? Oh, sorry. I'm just looking at...
So yeah, this was developed by Toei. Toei. Yes.
So, yeah, okay, got it. That makes a lot of sense
because, yes, they basically started the giant
robot genre, as it were. Absolutely. So they
completely went into the right direction, and
you can see the influence everywhere from Power
Rangers, I would argue, a different anime also
took influence from this, like Gundam. So the
legacy of this short 11 -month run is huge. And
for those who are really into the Spider -Verse,
they have confirmed... Possibly that this Japanese
version of Spider -Man will make an appearance.
Yes! That will be very cool. Spider -Man 2099.
We got the Japanese Spider -Man. I love it. So
this is a great... I believe this is only the
first episode that I've seen, but I'm considering
it its own documentary film. I learned a lot.
For those who love Spider -Man and definitely
was into the whole idea that Spider -Man can
be anyone, that Spider -Verse put out there,
I highly recommend this. It's under the Marvel
616 series. It's called Marvel 616 because that
is the main comic book universe that the main
comic book superheroes live in for Marvel. For
those who are wondering, the MCU is Earth -199999.
So there's the multiverse. The other episode
that I have not seen yet is about cosplay. We
have Paul Scheer leading one episode about hunting
down the most forgotten characters in the Marvel
Universe. We have writers and artists creating
new storylines using the Marvel method, which
is very famous. And then they have something
called Spotlight, which is about people in black
box theaters putting on Marvel plays. Oh, that
sounds really cool. Yeah, so it's a cool little
series. They got eight episodes so far. I'm going
to call it a movie because this episode and it
seems like all these episodes can stand on their
own. And it's just one of the cool parts about
comic book fandom that I saw as a young San Diego
kid who went to Comic -Con every year. And now
to see it put out on a mainstream platform like
Disney+. I mean, you know, 20 years later for
me of going through all this love affair with
comic books. It's just awesome, you know? It's
like I feel validated. Yeah. This fandom feels...
was validated so the japanese spider -man first
pilot episode of marvel 616 i'm going to give
it a four out of five spider ropes spider ropes
spider ropes it works yeah yeah yeah look aside
i feel like this so this is not the first like
little disney document docuseries that they have
put out no they have a whole number of them there's
a really the first the first one that i happened
to see it might have been like the first one
in this series that they're doing is just how
like the history of disney disney world disney
everything i can't remember it's the imaginary
story they're all very very good yeah yeah the
imaginary story i think is the one you're talking
about that's what i'm talking about yep imaginary
story um yeah if any of you guys haven't if you
guys haven't seen that one i highly recommend
it if you're they recently did the frozen the
making of frozen 2 which for a company that makes
such important films it's kind of shocking that
they don't really have a lot of behind -the -scenes
footage. It would be amazing if Disney did what
Peter Jackson did for the making of The Lord
of the Rings and The Hobbits, and I feel like
Disney's missing out on an opportunity. So if
you haven't seen the making of Frozen 2, I highly
recommend that. But it's great to hear that they're
continuing to put out really good quality content
on the history of either their original properties
or the properties that they've acquired in the
last couple years. absolutely and they've done
a lot of great things beyond the uh the imagineering
story they've also done inside pixar which is
more of like 15 episode chunks but that's new
too that is new and then they also did a behind
the scenes look at the making of the mandalorian
which is really cool yes yes that's been on my
list too disney's going all in on this and i'm
for it yeah nice Nice. That sounds awesome. It's
something that I realize I haven't done enough
Disney plus perusing because I haven't found
some of the stuff. Okay, I guess that brings
it to the bad movie of the pod. What do you got?
The bad movie of the pod was Tsunami. B? B. Like
B -E -E. No, like B -E -E, like Stingy Bees,
like, yeah. It's, um... Uh... It's... It's a
movie, yeah. Is it a B -movie? It is a D -movie.
Oh, it's a D -movie. Ouch. That really stings,
Mike. Oh my god, they even have that on the fucking
poster. Don't do that. It says, this one's gonna
sting on the poster for Tsunami. It stars no
one you know. Which is a great start point. The
beginning of the movie, you see this woman gathering
sticks in what looks like a post -apocalyptic
world. Jesus. Easy for me to say. And you don't
know why she's grabbing these sticks, but she's
just grabbing these sticks. And you're just like,
okay. And then all of a sudden, title screen.
Tsunami! And it's these people that are exploring
a rainforest. And they see these gigantic hives
and they go, how are we going to destroy this
whole species? And they're like, oh, we'll get
the queen. And then the queen is pissed and then
they all die. So you're thinking these are the
people you care about? No. These are not the
people you care about. Then we go to a guy waking
up from a dream where his brother was shot by
a cop. This dude wears nothing but yellow. He
has He has a friend in yellow. He has a sister.
They don't really establish a relationship. They
might be sister, brother. They might be together.
Like, that's how creepy it is. Got it. But they
all wear yellow because they are obviously in
a gang and they didn't want to represent Blood
or Crips, so they went yellow. Okay. All right.
L .A. is starting on fire. because people are
trying to get rid of these bees that are attacking
everybody. So they decide they're going to hop
in their car, and they're going to go and get
out of there so they don't get stung by these
massive bees that are now forming into a tornado.
No, not a tsunami, a tornado. Okay, so the title
is just there for the pun. Yes, 100%. I see,
I see. They don't ever reference it, because
I was ready to finish my beer. When they said,
oh no, it's a tsunami. But they don't say it.
They don't say it. They say it. Because there's
a tsunami. Right. It doesn't take place on water.
So it definitely isn't a tsunami. And it definitely
isn't a tsunami. Oh, God. So where does the name
come from? They wanted the pun. They just got
the pun. They did all of that for a pun. Yep.
They got you to watch it. no it's not yes it
did mike no it did not mike this is a safe place
uh i will i will shout out real good real r -e
-e -l good okay you put all your services in
there and then you can see what you want to watch
based on that okay and you can do things like
filter terrible movies oh great and so i filtered
it and this is like i've done it a character
oh wow yeah the boss mock two I didn't know he
had an acting career. Yes, he did have an acting
career. It lasted two movies, I think. See, I
just know him for football. Yes, and then there
was one with Randy Couture, and then there's
an Avengers movie that takes place in the Brothers
Grimm universe. If you check out our Instagram,
I posted the six of my favorite that I saw on
there. I love the Brothers Grimm, so I have to
check that out. You do not need to check that
out, because it's awful. And there's a second
one that's worse. that they go through time travel.
I see. But they're called Avengers Grimm. They
didn't even hide that they're trying to be a
Grimm Avengers story. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's just
not worth it. But back to Tsunami. So our heroes,
the three wearing yellow, one looks like Exhibit,
one looks like Steve Aoki, and the other one
looks like Mary J. Blige. And so I will call
them... By their names, but I may refer to them
as the rap names because Steve Aoki is definitely
Steve Aoki, even though he's not Steve Aoki.
So now I want to watch this with those three
in the movie. See, that would be great. No, no
you do not. Are you kidding? Like X to the Z
and Steve Aoki together? The UC Santa Barbara,
you know, bread son? Well, so the issue exhibit
has one emotion throughout the film, and that's
angry. Is he angry because these rides ain't
pimped out? He is angry because his brother was
shot by police. Okay, that's probably more legitimate.
Yeah. And then when we see them, they're like
traveling through this country or like this country
land. Not like, oh, it's a different country.
It's the country. It's a rural area. They have
been stopped by two rednecks who are just rednecks
and that's their character. and they have like
machine guns pointed at them and then the the
others are like replying back with like pistols
yeah it's not it's a one -sided battle i see
um sheriff comes and it's just like jesse put
down your gun and jesse's obviously the main
redneck that we're going to not care about and
once he puts down his gun all he does is become
a wimp Like the entire time now he's just like,
I don't want to get stung by the bees. That's
an accurate portrayal. Yes, this is his acting.
This is what the director told him. This is your
motivation. You don't want to get stung. So the
loss of the gun emasculated him. Yes. So he is
a modern day Republican. Wow. Wow. Yeah, wow.
Hot take. Let's go. Damn! I didn't know we'd
get some political commentary. Hot take. You're
welcome. I don't know how hot that is. I think
it's pretty spot on. Okay. So they're all in
a Mexican standoff against each other. And finally,
everybody puts their guns away. The other redneck
picks up the guns, puts it in the back of the
sheriff's car. This is important for later. So
all of the guns besides the sheriffs are in the
back of the car. And then they start hearing
buzzing. And the sheriff's like, get to your
cars! And the rednecks, of course, have locked
their doors. So they can't get into their car.
Our guy Jesse gets into the car, but his buddy
does not. And a bee, poorly CGI'd, attacks the
buddy and kills him. I know. How poorly CGI do
we talk? We're talking very poorly. Like Birdemic
level? Yes. Okay. And this is what I will say
about this movie. If this is what we got for
the entire movie, okay. It's not going to be
great, but it'd be so bad it's fun. If that's
the movie we got. We did not get this movie.
The sheriff gets this... Alright, so like the...
I don't even know how to describe them. So there
are three wearing yellow. The yellow gang drive
off. The yellow bellies drive off. Jesse hops
in the car with the sheriff. The yellow bellies
get stuck in the middle because they run out
of gas. But luckily, the sheriff and Jesse, who's
a racist piece of shit, stop to pick them up.
Well, the sheriff then, they're driving. And
she accidentally stops paying attention and almost
drives them off a cliff. Accidentally? Yes. How
does one accidentally stop looking at the road?
Um, there was a bee or something, or she was
distracted because, um, spoiler alert, she is
the cop who killed the exhibit's brother. Because
this movie needed to go Star Wars where everyone
is connected. I'm into that. I'm into family
dramas. Yeah, I'm down. No. It's kind of like
Lost, you know? It all has a kinder meaning.
Yeah, it's just like Lost. It didn't end well.
You guys are killing me with this. You guys are
killing me with this. We're having a good time.
Keep going. So after they get off the cliff,
because they have to crawl out the windows, the
car falls to its doom, so there goes all their
guns except for the sheriff's gun, because it
was in the back, and they couldn't grab them
all. They get to a meadow that they have to get
to a pipe to hide from the tsunamis. And Steve
Aoki dies. You can't call them tsunamis. Right.
And really, they're wasps, so we'll go with Waspnado.
Waspnado. They're not even bees. They're wasps.
So Waspnado starts going to town on Steve Aoki.
Mary J. Blige falls over. And for some reason,
she's spared. She's Mary J. Blige. We don't know
why, but it's not real Mary J. Blige. It's just
a girl that kind of looks like Mary J. Blige.
Mary J. Blige? I need to say this. I need to
say it. Do you think the reason she was spared
is because bees can detect royalty? No. No, they
go into why she was spared. Wait, there's a reason?
There's a reason. Oh. Are you sure she's not
the queen? There's a reason. I can't wait to
hear this. Well, we're getting to it. So at this
point, it's like horror elements. That's what
the whole thing is. They sleep in this, like,
tunnel because they're like okay we'll wait until
nightfall because these things are probably not
nocturnal so then we can escape to this farmhouse
that we know is there why they're okay in the
tunnel i don't know because the bees can just
literally come in and sting them all but for
whatever reason they're okay in the tunnel all
of a sudden steve aoki's there and exhibits like
oh cool i'm gonna help my buddy Steals the gun
from the sheriff who falls asleep holding the
gun. Mind you. So he steals the gun and he walks
over to Steve Aoki and he's like, hey, you okay?
And he's like, he's a zombie. He's a zombie.
Does he have a stinger now? No, he does not have
a stinger. He's a regular zombie, yeah. No, he
does not. I don't know if they intended for him
to be a zombie. It sounds like a missed opportunity.
He is a zombie. And this never gets brought up
again until after the movie's over. Wait, what?
That they become zombies. So it comes back in
the post -credit scene? There is a post -credit
scene, yes. Wow. So it never comes back the entire
WrestleWay. They shoot him. They get to the farmhouse.
Farmhouse of course has a guy that's just like
I'm gonna protect my daughter from you guys and
the bees. And he gets knocked out and tied up.
Exhibit figures out that she's the sheriff that
shot his brother so he also gets tied up. There's
a little girl who is like the daughter of the
guy. Of course there is. And she finds out that
The reason she was spared when the bees came
was because she believes in God. Oh, no, it's
one of those movies? Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
Are you just telling me that this movie is a
religious message now? This movie is a religious
movie. Oh! Is Kirk Cameron going to pop up next?
Nope. Yeah, no, I'm expecting fucking, I don't
know. They spend 40 minutes in this farmhouse
talking about if they have faith, they can get
through it. and there's only one more bee attack
that really doesn't kill anybody except for Jesse.
Because he doesn't believe. No, because he leaves
his friends. He gets in the car and leaves his
friends behind, and basically they're just like,
you were a douche, you die. So this is like,
this is the end. Yes. The Seth Rogen movie. Yep.
Okay, gotcha. But Mary J. Blige has a cross that
you never saw before. And all of a sudden it's
like, oh, this is why she was spared earlier.
But Steve Aoki's a douche, so he died. That sounds
racist now. But, so if you're wearing a cross,
if you're wearing a cross, I have seen so many
people wear those. Yep. Who are probably the
worst people I've ever met in my life. 100%.
I see. I've seen some good people. I've seen
people on both sides that have worn crosses.
There's good people on both sides. Yes. But seriously,
I've seen people on both sides, but these people
are not great. So Exhibit, whose real name is
JB. Oh, you ruined it. It's not X to the Z? It's
JB. Okay. J is J -A -Y. B. It's not J .B. like
initials, which disappointed me greatly. J .B.?
J .B.? J .B. All right. So J .B. is like, okay,
I need to get out of here because these guys
are going to kill me. Right. And so he somehow
gets the shotgun that the old man had, or like
the father had. Right. And is holding it at the
sheriff. Well, then the little girl shoots him.
Oh. Wow. She's not going to heaven. She's not
going to heaven. Yep, and comes out of nowhere.
This is in Texas. No, this is in California.
Oh, fuck. California? The whole time. It's just
outside of LA is what it's supposed to be. Yeah,
that sucks. You never know. You never know. So
the sheriff and the little girl and Mary J. Blige
are like, okay, we don't have a car. The bees
are in the house. We need to get out of here.
So they just decide to book it and run out. Mary
J. Blige stops suddenly. The two girls are like
stuck in the middle of the swarm, but they're
not really stinging them. Right. And then all
of a sudden, Mary J. Blige's eyes go dark and
she just like opens her mouth and the bees come
from her mouth. Whoa. End movie. that is how
it ends yeah absolutely so wait um so when is
the sequel uh never okay um and then that's it
oh you that ends my line of questions you haven't
even gotten to the best part what's the best
part do you remember the girl that was gathering
the sticks absolutely she she was not part of
the movie at all okay but she comes back in the
post -credit scene oh great and the sticks are
crosses that she puts in the earth for her dead
friends. Aww. Cute. Because religious movie.
I love it. But why did Mary J. Blige have bees
in her if she was religious? We don't know. I
think she was... I thought her belief in God
made her immune to the bees. Nope. No, no, maybe
she's like a carrier of the apocalypse because
she's so devout. I will say... the movie started
with the revelations quote of the locusts like
the locusts shall swarm and death and blah blah
blah shall follow or something to that effect
I don't remember exact words but there was a
revelations quote before the title screen and
yeah it's definitely a biblical film and not
the I found a poster, and it says, Tsunami, the
wrath cometh. So it does seem rather biblical.
Yep. So I got your locust quote, if you want
it. The sun and sky were darkened by the smoke
from the abyss, and out of the smoke, locusts
came down upon the earth and were given power
like that of scorpions of the earth. But not
bees. That's fair. But not bees. Definitely not
bees. Definitely not bees. Because they couldn't
do a pun with locusts. Yep. That's exactly it.
Tornade Locusts. Tornade Locusts. That's my problem
with this film. The beginning of it actually
could have been Darknado fun. It could have been
a very different kind of movie. They spent 40
minutes in a farmhouse talking about how religion
is what saved them. I don't care if you're religious.
I don't care if you talk about religion or anything
like that. I don't care. Like, you can do that
right. Yes. This was beat you over the head with
the Bible. Like, it is just whacking you upside
the face. Like, hey, power of Christ compels
you. Pow, pow, pow. That's a plot twist I wasn't
anticipating. Also, maybe I missed something.
It also seems a bit hypocritical that they're
trying to say that if you believe in God, ergo,
you're a good person, except some people who
believe in God do bad things. Yeah. Like, what
about, like, religious zealots who do horrible
things to God? Well, and that's what I think
they were trying to establish, is that, like,
the dad... So the dad runs with Jesse to the
car, and the dad's like, I need to save my daughter
because it's what's right. And so he gets, like,
minorly stung in the back and ends up dying.
Okay. And then, that was the issue, is JB then,
like, free, shoots him in the face, because he's
like... I'm not going to deal with a zombie.
Yeah. Zombies. How big are these zombies? I'm
sorry, the bees, are they like... Oh, okay, I've
been envisioning like big ass... I mean, they're
gigantic. They're huge. Like, big as a hand.
Big as a hand, yeah. But they're not like as
big as like a car. No, they're not as big as
a car, but they're big. I mean, maybe a little
bigger than your hand, but you know, it's like,
they're still... Relatively, you can hit them
with a tennis racket. But they come in swarms,
I'm guessing? Yes, they come in swarms. They
come in tsunamis. Yeah, they come in tsunamis.
Apparently not tsunamis. They're wasps and there's
no tsunamis. They come in strong gusts. They
come in tornadoes. Wasp -tornadoes. Tornade wasps?
Ant -Man and the Wasp? Let's just watch Ant -Man
and the Wasp. Good question. I need to look up
when this movie came out. I got it. 2015. There
it is. And to Andre's point, the original title
was Tsunami, The Wrath Cometh. That was the original
title. That was a little too strong when they
tested with audiences. I'm just making that part
up. And they shortened it to Tsunami. Wow, 2015.
Beautiful. Fantastic. The thing is, the CGI is
horrible. But if, like, they just stuck with
that the whole movie and it was just random people
getting killed by bees in, like, the worst CGI
imaginable, I could have survived with that.
I could have had fun with that. Especially because
of how much drinking I did, by the way. Well,
I mean, it almost sounds like it had the potential
to be, like, tremors. Yeah, yeah. Like, if they
didn't show too much. Right, it could be stupid
fun. And they had delightful characters. Yeah,
stupid fun. Yeah, and like the scene where they
almost drove off a cliff, yeah, it was stupid,
but at the same time it was kind of fun to see
how they were going to try to get out. Because
it's a police car, so like the back is locked.
And so like there was this whole scene of like,
oh, are we going to get out of here, whatever.
You know, the yellow bellies are stuck in the
back. But yeah. Yeah. What are we rating this
sucker? Stinger. Stinger. Stinger. Probably half
a, um, I don't know, half a Bible. Half a Bible.
Half a Bible of five. Wait, so is this the Mitchell
Zero or is this legitimately a half? It's literally
a half. Okay. It's better than Yoga Hoses because
Yoga Hoses just set out to make me pissed off.
That sounds like it. This movie could have been
fun and, like, the bee scenes are fun. Yep. But
it's just so much takes place in one location
because cheap. And it's all done on shaky cam,
too, that doesn't know how to focus. Thank you.
And so, like, it would literally be, all right,
I'm going to show you guys because you're virtual.
This would be the camera angle. Ready? Oh, my
God. We need to get out of here. There's bees
coming. And it feels like they were trying for
some Blair Witch like that where it's like, oh,
it's just their face in the corner. But it's
literally they're talking to somebody else. It's
just a talking scene. And they're like, ooh,
I'm only half in. You're welcome. This is fun
to do that way because I can at least show you
on a camera. Yeah, so there's some parts where
they're literally like it's just cut off part
of their face. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess half a
Bible out of five. Just the Old Testament? Yeah.
The Jewish Testament or the Christian Testament?
I guess the Jewish Testament. Ooh, the Torah.
God is a dick in that one. I recently discovered
that God is not a dick in the New Testament.
Who knew? I didn't expect this to go down this
road, but yeah, you're right. I mean, and I made
two memes for this movie that I'm going to share
with you guys after. I just wanted to explain
it to you guys first. This has to be going on
the Instagram account. Yes. Oh, it's totally
going on the Instagram account. I can't wait
to see it. Yes. Don't forget to like and follow.
Yes, don't forget to like, share, subscribe,
everything. Smash that subscribe button. Smash
that subscribe button. Yeah, I mean, tsunamis,
it's a thing that exists. It's on Prime. I highly
recommend you don't watch it. And, like, I was
waiting for the beginning of the movie because
I knew there was going to be, like, a cheesy
title scene, a title screen there. Yeah. And
I was not disappointed. It was very much tsunamis
and, like, yellow on a black screen. Like, yeah,
it's... It's on the nose. Oh, I get it. Yeah,
it's on the nose. It needed to be a crossover
with Bumblebee from Transformers to make her.
That's kind of cool. Yeah. I'm in on this idea.
Let's pitch it to Michael Bay and we'll see if
he'll produce. He's not doing anything these
days, right? Yeah, he's just kind of around.
I think he's doing like Netflix movies now. Like,
on the real. I think that's what he's been doing
lately. Six Underground was him. That was him,
yeah. That's right. Six Underground. I haven't
seen that. It's, um, yeah, Six Underground's
fine. Well, I mean, normally we get to this part
and we talk about what we're excited to see next,
but we still don't know when we're going to see
movies in theaters. There is some exciting movie
news that came out of late. There is? Yeah, we
all talked about it. Jill, do you want to tee
us up? Yeah. Yeah, it was recently announced
that HBO Max is going to be releasing Wonder
Woman 1984 on its platform. Wait, what? Christmas
Day. On Christmas? I was getting there. On Christmas
Day, HBO Max is going to be releasing Wonder
Woman 1984 for the masses, free of charge, unless
you don't subscribe already. It's a Christmas
miracle. Our group of friends had recently talked
about the streaming wars and all of that, and
how can you kind of stand out to make a name
for yourself? I mean, for HBO Max, this is a
great move. We're swinging for the fences. And
you know what's next. You know what's next, don't
you? What? What's next? Well, if WandaVision
does well, Disney Plus is going to release Black
Widow on Plus. I'd be interested to see if they
do that. And I think, honestly, it's more if
Wonder Woman does well. Because for them, it
comes down to, and this is my only critique of
this, as a fan, I love it. As someone who's really
interested on the business side of things, these
movies were meant and marketed to be sold in
movie theaters. And they make a ton of money
if they hit. With the streaming service, you're
selling this subscription for $20 a month. And
that could cover four people, you know, the size
of a family to watch this movie. And if that's
the only thing that they're interested in, and
HBO Max is one of my favorite streaming services.
It's pretty great, yeah. They have a great library
of content. Studio Ghibli films are on there.
And then you've got the Turner Classic Movies
collection, including Citizen Kane. Hashtag Dream
Patrol. All that stuff is there, and it's great.
But if you can't retain those subscribers after
this movie comes out, what was it all for? So
I think I'm really curious to see if movies are
actually going to make as big of an impact on
streaming services as much as TV shows, where
you have to stay for longer than one month because
they come out episodically. curious to see how
that pans out, but yes, as a fan, I'm so excited
to watch this in and around Christmas. That's
really cool. I just would wish that, and this
is an HBO Go specific problem. HBO Max. HBO Go
is dead. HBO Go is dead. Killed it. I would hope
that HBO Max would provide some HDR 4 support.
I'm kind of shocked that they're, I mean, not
shocked, but The biggest bummer about Wonder
Woman being on HBO Max is that there's no way
to watch it in 4K. If you want as close to movie
theater quality experience as possible, I would
hope that they would support 4K. Okay, you made
that comment. I was going to say up nerd, but
you made that comment. Yes, trying to match the
theater experience. I get that. 4K is still very
much a niche thing, but all these directors go
on and on and on about how you can't substitute
a movie theater for watching it at home, and
I feel like 4K HDR would bridge that gap a little
bit more. Even offering it as an extra tier or
whatever. You would pay extra for... I would
pay probably $5 extra for 4K HDR viewing experience.
Not to shit on Disney too much, but if, you know,
Mulan, which they released on their platform
for an additional $29 .99, I believe, so you
had to buy Disney Plus if you did not have it,
and then you had to pay an additional purchase.
If maybe they had sold the film with an additional
$5 to $10 up for film quality, that would justify
the move. I think HBO is being very clever that
they're not trying to put a premium price tag
on Wonder Woman, unless that announcement...
I think they learned from Disney. They get the
benefit of coming second. You know, like the
second cat gets the mouse kind of deal. Second
mouse gets the cheese. That's it. Whatever the
metaphor is there. Andre, do we know if any streaming
services provide 4K quality? Does Netflix even
do that? Right, I believe Netflix offers some
sort of a handful of their shows to support.
Chuck, any David Attenborough? Yeah, okay, cool,
yes. So it's a show -by -show basis, and you
also have to pay a premium tier for Netflix,
I believe, to even have access to those shows
in 4K. Is that true, or is that what you're saying?
There's a whole list of 4K. So I didn't make
this up. I remember specifically they put out
a David Attenborough series as an advertisement.
Like, hey, you bought your new 4K TV? Watch this
David Attenborough nature documentary. Super
crisp, awesome, fuck you quality, you know? Is
that what we're calling it? Fuck you quality?
Yes. That's amazing. That's what they said in
the commercial. They got David Attenborough to
say that. Super awesome, fuck you quality. Here
we see. Fuck you quality. I love it. Some other
cinematic news that's super exciting. Jesus Christ.
I'm not going to look forward to that. I really
am not. I'm going to watch it, but I'm just not
looking forward to it. I'm not paying to watch
it, so... If you guys want to watch the Snyder
Cut of Justice League Early, there's this movie
called Sucker Punch. Yeah, exactly. Where is
that game released? HBO Max. HBO Max? Okay. I
guess I don't pay for it already. What I've been
hearing, and this is just like the trades talking
about behind the scenes stuff. So they had originally
thought when the executives came up with, oh,
you know, the Snyder Cut thing, it's huge on
Twitter and Instagram. Let's actually give the
people what they want. So when they approached
Zack Snyder with it, he says, cool, let's do
it. Because, of course, the Snyder Cut didn't
actually exist. So he's like, I'm going to go
back and I'm going to make it my own movie. And
they're like, great. And then they started to
realize as the process has gone on, not only
is he taking things that he liked from the original
cut and, you know, sprucing them up a little
bit, he's adding entirely different scenes and
essentially they're funding a new movie. So they're
seeing much more money than they had originally
thought. It's a terrible idea to listen to the
crowd about this one. And I mean, like, yeah,
it's worked before with Sonic, but like for this.
I'm curious. I think it's still going to be bad,
but if it could actually retain a big audience
for more than a month... You know what I think?
I think it's going to be worse than what we got.
No, I don't think it'll be worse. I don't know.
I didn't realize that... So what I thought was
that they had some unfinished footage and they
were giving him money to polish those up. I didn't
realize that he went in with scissors and was
like, I'm going to take these things and... create
the story I would have done along with adding
new content. I thought it was just, here's money
to polish up what you had on the cutting room
floor. Yeah, that was the intent. And then apparently
Zack Snyder has taken that as leverage to make
new stuff. And I think, honestly, probably HBO
is in on the joke, or maybe not the joke, but
they're in on this because this potentially could
help better set up more DC sequels. That's what
I'm assuming. Right. I mean, like, I think the
best news out of this so far that I've heard
is the fact that it's coming out as a miniseries.
Because, like, as soon as it started, I'm like,
oh, man, this is going to be three and a half
hours. It's going to be long to watch through.
But now it's four, but in four distinct episodes.
I feel like that's going to be way more easy
to digest. And, like Mitchell said, maybe I'm
in on the joke, too, because I still plan on
it. I'm shitting on it already without having
seen it, but I'm going to probably watch it.
I'm going to, yeah. I'm probably going to watch
it, and I am not looking forward to it. As someone
who is... Yeah. I went with a friend and paid
money to see the original. Excuse me, the original
Justice League. Yeah, and I'm going to watch
it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not happy about that. It
was you and me and T -Dog, right? Yeah. I was
not there, no. Me, Andre, and T -Dog went, and
then we went to Plan B afterwards. That's right.
And honestly, like, after first watch... And
I think I was in shock because, one, the viewing
experience was bad for us. Like, the theater
was awful. The way that it was projecting on
the screen was bad. Shout out to Bowtie. Bowtie!
I was going to say, it's got to be Bowtie. Bowtie,
I hope you do not survive the pandemic. I'm sorry.
So, yeah, it's rough. I'll sign their death certificate.
So the actual viewing experience is bad. I came
to it, and I remember thinking to myself, well,
that wasn't as bad as Dawn of Justice. And upon
reflection, I'm like, well, that may have been
worse. No, definitely. I was in agreement, because
I think I turned to you with a straight face
and said, I would watch a sequel of that, probably.
With hopes that it would be better, but I would
watch a sequel. And on reflection, I'm like,
wow, that was a train wreck of a movie. Holy
moly. I need to digest it a little bit. Okay,
guys. We have overstayed our welcome in the lovely
ears of our listeners. All six of them. And me.
We have overstayed our welcome. We're going to
wrap this one up, but thank you guys very much.
I'm glad we could get back and do this, even
virtually. This was fun. We're looking forward
to new episodes in the future, including maybe
a holiday -themed one. Absolutely. There's your
teaser for next time. Yeah, pour yourself some
hot cocoa and sit back and relax. So, for myself,
Jill and Andre, and Mitchell, This was Game for
a Movie where we ask, are you game for a movie?
Where's T -Dog?