WEBVTT

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You know what that sound means? It's another

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episode of Game for a Movie where we talk. Ball

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start. Offense. Five yard penalty. You know what

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that sound means? It's another episode of Game

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for a Movie where we ask, are you game for a

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movie? My name is Mike. I'll be your host. I

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am joined by Jill and Andre. Hi, friends. Hey,

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this is this is very last second that we got

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everybody together, but I'm so happy to have

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both of you here. Yeah, like so happy. Yeah.

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So we have a heck of a movie to talk about. It

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is a bad movie episode. Let me tell you, it's

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a gem. But first, we got to dive into what are

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we drinking? Jill, lead us off. What are you

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drinking over there? I'm representing all the

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young old ladies out there. I'm drinking tea.

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It's herbal tea. Yeah, you know. It's like one

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of my favorite letters of the alphabet. The letter

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T. The letter T. And what's the number of the

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day, a la Sesame Street? Three. Today is brought

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to you by the number three. I love three. That

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was my favorite number. Three was my lucky number

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growing up, so. I do wear number three, usually.

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I'm born on the 3rd of May. I'm born on the 9th,

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so I can't really say anything. Nine doesn't

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feel like a lucky number. It's divisible by three.

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Yes, we'll go with that. Okay, so tea, herbal

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tea. Yes, I am drinking Aurora Blue. It's by

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the Spice and Tea Exchange. It's from Alexandria,

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Virginia, and it's an herbal tea. So that means

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no caffeine. And in this case, it's made with

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ginger root, lemongrass, lemon peel, and probably

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the most important, the butterfly pea flowers,

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which is why the tea itself is blue. It naturally

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excretes the color. If you have something with

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this ingredient in it, put some citrus, like

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a lemon juice. And it's going to turn into like

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a light purple color. Yeah. It tastes delicious.

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That's cool. The Empress Gin is made with this

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pea flour ingredient. So any sort of like, you

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know. You said pea flour. Any sort of like color

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changing gin drink that has Empress Gin in it.

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It turns from blue to purple. It's pretty sick.

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It's pretty neat. That's a nice trick. Neato.

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Nice. That sounds really cool, actually. Not

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gonna lie. Andre, what are you drinking? I saw

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you grab a beer for this. I did, because I can't

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help myself. I got a Nomadism from Treehouse,

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the famous brewery from Massachusetts. It is

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a Czech dark lager, and it tastes like toffee

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and coffee at the same time, and it's great,

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and I love it. Have you tapped it on Untapped?

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I should probably tap that, shouldn't I? Tap

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that. Tap that, bitch. Okay, cool. This is clocking

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in at like a 4 .25 to BH. That's your average

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for everything. Because I like it! I don't know,

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man. Shit. If I didn't like it, that's the thing.

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Jill makes fun of me because she says I'm too

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nice on untapped. If I don't like it, I just

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don't untap it. Which is fine. yeah like but

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like if you're not gonna gatekeep tapping look

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at my untapped history it just shows it's like

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wow this guy just really likes beer it's like

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well no i just drink way more beer than that

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but if it rates below a three seven i'm not i'm

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not putting it on the below three seven wait

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whoa below three seven yeah i go as low as 2

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.5 i mean if you're 50 you're still yeah i told

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you he's too nice yeah like if you're one okay

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yeah i'll probably just skip you but if you're

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i have not it's been a while you need a phoenix

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right level objection to get out of this you

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need to think about it this way i use untapped

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for the beers i've drank before so i look at

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the low ones and go okay one i didn't like this

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beer i'm not going to get a four pack of it or

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a six pack or a 12 pack whatever it is okay so

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like miller light not getting it sorry sure sure

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miller's piss Brought to you by Miller Lite.

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Please sponsor us. Please sponsor us. Hey, Miller.

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We got you. Probably shouldn't go after Miller

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Coors, like one of the biggest beer distributors

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in the world. Coors Lite's good. I like Coors

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Lite. Cool. Dude, I love those mountains, man.

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Let's see. Yeah, I like when my mountains are

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blue. I just like, okay, here's where I'm at,

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right? I feel like I play too many video games

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because I feel like the games industry at large,

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like grades. video games on a scale right where

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like the commonality of like if ign gives a video

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game below a six out of ten or six if it gives

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below a seven out of ten you're like wow this

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game is trash but like which by your logic like

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10 is like oh i kind of enjoy this you know well

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but what i'll say about that is this is for you

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not for the consumer this is for you the beer

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drinker you're more likely to get a kirby and

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the forgotten land beer than you are to give

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a bad rating to kirby and the forgotten land

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do you know what i mean right yeah yeah okay

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okay i get that i get sorry i was telling tony

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about kirby and the forgotten land he got a free

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switch today second time you got a free switch

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wow congrats to tony holy shit kirby yeah tony

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got a free switch um his boss won one at like

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an event or something like that and uh to the

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victor goes the spoils because he already had

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a switch so he's like here tony you're a really

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good employee how about you have a switch Okay,

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there we go. Wow. Couldn't happen to a better

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person. Yeah. Curry's Groundland is a great game

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for the Switch, if you just get one for the first

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time. It's a cute game. Yes. For me, however...

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Oh, there we go. Is that a hobo? Oh, yes, it

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is. It is a Lord Hobo koozie with boom sauce,

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because I do love Lord Hobo. Oh, it's a koozie,

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okay. Yeah, it's a koozie. No, no, no. No, I

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wish I had boom sauce. This is, no, it's a cardigan,

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but thanks for noticing. It is a hazy IPA. It

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is from a brewery in Durham. It is the Dirty

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Bull Brewing Company in Durham, North Carolina.

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I don't know if you guys knew this or not for

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our listeners. Obviously, Andre and Jill, you

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know this, but Claire and I moved to Charlotte.

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Andre and Jill are still up in Connecticut holding

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strong for the Nutmeggers. Gotta represent. Gotta

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represent. We moved down to North Carolina. I've

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been trying a bunch of different new beer, which

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is great. That's what's fun about this. I was

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going to ask you about this. How is North Carolina's

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beer scene? There's a lot of good beer. A lot

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of good beer. I have a couple. It's funny you

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bring this up because I have a proposition for

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you guys. You know Beth. Yeah. Beth runs an Instagram

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called Big Booty Brews. She goes to local breweries,

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rates beer, you know. Her and I were talking

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about a beer trade where you send a beer, they

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send a beer. You send a beer, they send a beer.

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So people like me can get my fix of Connecticut

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beer and people like you guys could get a fix

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of North Carolina beer. Would you be interested

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in doing so? How do we send the beer over? Just

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mail it? That's a good question. I need to figure

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that step out. It's not legal to do that, but

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I think there's ways you can do it. It's not

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legal to do it, but we'll figure it out. We'll

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figure it out. I haven't gotten through all the

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plans, but people send beer in the mail all the

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time. I know a couple friends that do. Yeah.

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Jillian, I... Yeah. I mean, I'm not worried about

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getting arrested or anything like that. Well,

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that's good because this is a setup. Oh, fuck!

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It's a trap. I'm down to get some North Carolina

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beers. Okay. We'll talk about it. We'll go in

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length about this later. But none of these beers

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are enough to get me through the monstrosity

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that was the bad movie. So I watched it myself

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because schedules are crazy. You never know.

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This thing got put together last minute. So I'm

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happy to tell you guys all about Life Without

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Dick, a movie from 2002. Couldn't imagine. Couldn't

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imagine. I've seen the trailer. It's a trip.

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It's something. You were excited to hear me talk

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about a rom -com. There needed to be some comedy

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for this one. That's sad. That's the cardinal

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rule of Aramcom. It's funny. Direct to video.

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That is always a good sign. I also thought this

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got released at some point, but I guess I was

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wrong. You want to know what's crazy? It's 2002.

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Sarah Jessica Parker was in Sex and the City.

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Wow, you're right. That's true. This is peak

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Sex and the City for her, right? Yeah, I believe

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so. Either this was not filmed in 2022, or sorry,

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in 2002. 2022, yes. Either this was not filmed

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in 2002, which I'm guessing that's the case,

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or it was contract obligated. I do wonder about

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that because I actually don't know off the top

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of my head. I will say, however, like Johnny

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Knoxville is also in this. Yep. He had Men in

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Black 2 come out that same year. And I know he

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wasn't a big part of that. He's like the pawn

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shop guy, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the

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second head that popped up and everything. Yeah,

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yeah, yeah. So like he was a big part of it.

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i forgot he was in that you're welcome happy

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to help now let's talk dick you're so excited

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to talk about dick oh always so excited to talk

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about dick um brief synopsis before we get into

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the actual synopsis but basically it is about

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a woman who is trying to live without her boyfriend

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dick uh at first you think they're broken up

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nope he's dead She killed him, right? Well, that's

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what we'll get into. So let's start talking about

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Life Without Dick. About 30 seconds into the

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film, she is driving home with her blue bug,

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slug bug. She's wearing a birthday hat. I don't

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know why she's wearing a birthday hat for the

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beginning of this movie. Because people like

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hats. Yeah, apparently. She walks in and there

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are three suitcases. And there's her boyfriend,

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Dick, playing the guitar, playing the song, leaving

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on a jet plane, which is not really a song you

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do when you're in a happy mood. She calls him

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out for cheating on her with the crossing guard.

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This was oddly specific that it was a crossing

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guard. Okay. And so she pulls out a gun from

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her purse. And she shoots through the guitar

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and through Dick. So there you go. We are two

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minutes into the movie. Dick is dead. What? Okay,

00:11:41.799 --> 00:11:44.419
got it. Hence, we're life without Dick. Okay,

00:11:44.440 --> 00:11:47.200
got it. This is not. That escalated very quickly.

00:11:47.820 --> 00:11:51.059
Well, she usually doesn't have any bullets in

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her gun. She was just trying to scare him. So

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there's a flashback. Three minutes into the movie

00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:02.179
and there's a flashback. Yes, it's that kind

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of movie. they show that he has like a dresser

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drawer that opens up that has a bunch of guns

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and bullets. Or like ammunition and stuff. And

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apparently he found her gun and was like, why

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is this empty? You need to have a bullet in it.

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He loaded her gun? Yeah, he loaded her gun, spun

00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:26.759
it, put it away, put it back in her purse. Wow.

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Tommy Knoxville, you're smarter than that. Yeah.

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Flashes back to the present, and then it flashes

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back to the past again. There's not enough that

00:12:37.350 --> 00:12:40.570
happens in the present. Get used to the term

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flashback. Okay. If you'd like to play a fun

00:12:45.009 --> 00:12:49.070
game along at home, drink every time we say flashback.

00:12:49.149 --> 00:12:52.029
Oh, God. Okay. And if we want this show to get

00:12:52.029 --> 00:12:54.610
more fun for us, I'm also going to drink every

00:12:54.610 --> 00:12:57.389
time I say flashback. And you better catch up

00:12:57.389 --> 00:13:02.750
to yourself, man. yeah basically just waterfalled

00:13:02.750 --> 00:13:04.809
for like five i want to i want to know what at

00:13:04.809 --> 00:13:08.870
the end your breakdown of the ratio flashbacks

00:13:08.870 --> 00:13:14.809
at present day in the film drink um yeah right

00:13:14.809 --> 00:13:20.389
me too trust me um so it goes back flashback

00:13:20.389 --> 00:13:25.149
to when oh my god this is gonna be a bad episode

00:13:25.149 --> 00:13:30.200
it goes back to when um basically they are drinking

00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:33.840
with a friend of hers and she basically is like

00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:36.980
i need to go powder my nose and he goes so am

00:13:36.980 --> 00:13:39.720
i going to your place tonight like right in front

00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:44.179
of her pretty much and so i'm already going well

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dick's dead good we didn't need to care about

00:13:47.419 --> 00:13:53.179
him anyway dick's a dick yeah that also comes

00:13:53.179 --> 00:13:56.240
back into play but we'll get to there later so

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we're in present day Colleen is practicing calling

00:13:59.570 --> 00:14:01.769
the police on the phone. Oh my God. Like my,

00:14:01.789 --> 00:14:04.350
my boyfriend's been shot. I accidentally shot

00:14:04.350 --> 00:14:06.330
him. I didn't realize I was going to shoot him.

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Can't do it. Calls her mom. Her mom's just like,

00:14:12.230 --> 00:14:15.450
well, what if you go with that other boy? Basically

00:14:15.450 --> 00:14:18.309
not listening to the fact that Dick is gone.

00:14:18.870 --> 00:14:21.350
She doesn't understand that Dick is dead. She

00:14:21.350 --> 00:14:24.389
just thinks Dick is gone. So she's like, what

00:14:24.389 --> 00:14:26.129
if you go with this other boy? And she goes,

00:14:26.250 --> 00:14:28.809
mom, you know, he married my best friend, Pamela

00:14:28.809 --> 00:14:32.529
Grinder, like three years ago. Pamela Grinder.

00:14:32.850 --> 00:14:37.330
Okay. Pamela Grinder. Yes. Okay. Yep. Made me

00:14:37.330 --> 00:14:41.350
want a sandwich. Hashtag not real name. uh basically

00:14:41.350 --> 00:14:44.330
the mother just doesn't listen to her and just

00:14:44.330 --> 00:14:46.730
talks over her so she gets no advice there she

00:14:46.730 --> 00:14:49.610
hangs up the phone and she was just like yeah

00:14:49.610 --> 00:14:52.929
it's just like that alcoholic psychic madam hugonot

00:14:52.929 --> 00:14:57.809
said adam hugonot there's a lot of names being

00:14:57.809 --> 00:15:00.389
thrown around yeah i'm trying to i'm trying to

00:15:00.389 --> 00:15:02.769
give you a little break uh because there's a

00:15:02.769 --> 00:15:08.179
flashback oh flashback oh my god She's in psychic

00:15:08.179 --> 00:15:11.899
Madam Hugo Knott's spot getting her future read.

00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:15.899
This is the mother? No, this is Sarah Jessica

00:15:15.899 --> 00:15:19.200
Parker, whose name is Colleen. This is Colleen

00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:21.980
getting her future read. Yes, her character's

00:15:21.980 --> 00:15:24.899
name is Colleen. So there's Colleen, Dick, and

00:15:24.899 --> 00:15:26.539
then I'm also going to introduce you to Danny

00:15:26.539 --> 00:15:28.679
soon enough. Those are the three names that you'll

00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:31.889
probably have to know the most. All right. So

00:15:31.889 --> 00:15:34.889
she's at psychic Madam Hugo Knott's place wearing

00:15:34.889 --> 00:15:38.009
the same party hat for some reason. Again, we

00:15:38.009 --> 00:15:41.190
don't know. Madam Hugo Knott is like obviously

00:15:41.190 --> 00:15:48.110
a fraud. Basically, your boyfriend, Aaron, and

00:15:48.110 --> 00:15:53.309
she's like, Dick? Yes, Dick. Dick. He's going

00:15:53.309 --> 00:15:56.769
to cheat on you and go to Rome with a crossing

00:15:56.769 --> 00:16:02.740
guard. She basically goes, why a crossing card?

00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:08.120
And Madame Yukonat says, and I quote, they're

00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:11.779
the sirens of the school system. Okay, that's

00:16:11.779 --> 00:16:15.820
kind of, that's fucking dumb. That is very dumb.

00:16:16.059 --> 00:16:19.580
I think that lands. I don't know. So that gets

00:16:19.580 --> 00:16:22.419
an Andre chuckle. Yeah. It's an Andre chuckle.

00:16:22.500 --> 00:16:27.059
Low bar. it is but like sirens in the school

00:16:27.059 --> 00:16:29.659
system all right fucking whatever man it helps

00:16:29.659 --> 00:16:32.440
it alliterates to be honest with you the sirens

00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:36.500
of the school system okay great but madam hugo

00:16:36.500 --> 00:16:39.940
not has more she also says but if you break up

00:16:39.940 --> 00:16:42.860
with dick or leave dick you're going to find

00:16:42.860 --> 00:16:46.659
love with someone you met recently which leads

00:16:46.659 --> 00:16:53.370
to another flashback that's right it's a flashback

00:16:53.370 --> 00:16:56.970
within a flashback wow a nested flashback that's

00:16:56.970 --> 00:17:00.509
never a good sign yes oh it's awful basically

00:17:00.509 --> 00:17:05.410
uh dick was driving backed into our friend danny

00:17:05.410 --> 00:17:09.970
who's played by harry connick jr okay they back

00:17:09.970 --> 00:17:11.710
into each other he's pulling out of his space

00:17:11.710 --> 00:17:16.299
and he backs into danny So Danny basically like

00:17:16.299 --> 00:17:18.640
comes out and like is making this big deal about

00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.160
the fact that he was he had the right away and

00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.519
he wasn't looking and he's an asshole and blah,

00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:27.279
blah, blah. And then he notices Colleen and like

00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:29.779
openly flirts with her and is like, oh, what

00:17:29.779 --> 00:17:31.539
time do you want me to pick you up for our date

00:17:31.539 --> 00:17:36.680
tonight? And Colleen's kind of OK with it. Like,

00:17:36.759 --> 00:17:41.579
she's just kind of OK. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah,

00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:46.359
sure. Cool. it's the weirdest thing because like

00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.380
both of them are just like totally okay with

00:17:49.380 --> 00:17:51.279
it it's like they have an open relationship but

00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:52.859
they don't know they have an open relationship

00:17:52.859 --> 00:17:56.720
oh okay yeah i don't know it's kind of strange

00:17:56.720 --> 00:18:00.579
uh it goes back it sounds strange oh it's a terrible

00:18:00.579 --> 00:18:04.819
movie uh it goes back to the present and colleen's

00:18:04.819 --> 00:18:08.700
like passed her flashback uh flashback damn it

00:18:08.700 --> 00:18:18.779
oh worst rule ever um Now we go to Danny. Danny

00:18:18.779 --> 00:18:22.319
is meeting with his boss who is the head of the

00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.960
Irish mob. Okay. Who would be the head of the

00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:31.140
Irish mob if you were casting a perfect Irish

00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:35.220
mob leader? And I can tell you this is actually

00:18:35.220 --> 00:18:41.690
pretty decent casting. Irish mob. um um donald

00:18:41.690 --> 00:18:43.930
gleason's dad mad eye moody i forget his name

00:18:43.930 --> 00:18:46.069
that's a decent one i like that i like that uh

00:18:46.069 --> 00:18:49.730
is it um brendan gleason brendan yes yes yes

00:18:49.730 --> 00:18:52.289
yes him okay i like that that's a good that's

00:18:52.289 --> 00:18:55.829
a good choice jill do you have a guess i do but

00:18:55.829 --> 00:19:01.569
isn't um i have to make sure i have the right

00:19:01.569 --> 00:19:06.180
actor oh okay colin farrell Colin Farrell is

00:19:06.180 --> 00:19:10.180
a good choice. Or Pierce Brosnan. Now I'm looking

00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:13.319
at a list. Pierce Brosnan is a good one. None

00:19:13.319 --> 00:19:15.119
of these are the correct choice. The correct

00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:18.400
choice is Craig Ferguson. What's that? Craig

00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:24.240
Ferguson. Craig Ferguson. Yeah, it sounds like

00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.940
somebody I should know, but I don't know. Oh,

00:19:25.940 --> 00:19:28.880
you know Craig Ferguson. Yeah. Craig Ferguson

00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:31.819
used to be a writer on The Simpsons. He used

00:19:31.819 --> 00:19:36.579
to be a talk show host. And he did the show before

00:19:36.579 --> 00:19:40.420
Conan did. He passed the reins to Conan. He's

00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:43.039
the one that gave Conan the late, late show.

00:19:43.579 --> 00:19:47.319
Yes. And Craig Ferguson is very, very Irish.

00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:50.500
Well, actually, it looks like he's from Edinburgh.

00:19:51.059 --> 00:19:55.240
So maybe he's Scottish, which is. All right.

00:19:55.259 --> 00:19:58.799
I'm on his Wikipedia page. He is from Scotland.

00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:02.720
Well, all right. That's problematic. Yeah. What

00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:04.529
are we all look the same to you? Yeah, right.

00:20:04.910 --> 00:20:09.609
We could edit out stuff. No, I'm fine with it.

00:20:10.130 --> 00:20:13.589
I look like an asshole. I don't care. I'm against

00:20:13.589 --> 00:20:15.430
my own people. I'm Irish and Scottish. I get

00:20:15.430 --> 00:20:18.670
away with shit. Hey, if you've never seen a picture

00:20:18.670 --> 00:20:21.269
of me before, imagine every Irish Scottish person

00:20:21.269 --> 00:20:26.869
you've ever seen. That about lines up. He was

00:20:26.869 --> 00:20:30.440
in an episode of The Wild Thornberries. I'm not

00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:32.500
shocked by that. Yeah. Who does he voice? Like,

00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:33.799
what is he like? Is he going to meet anything

00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:37.200
with you? No. Do you remember the episode dances

00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:39.940
with dingoes? No, I don't. I don't remember a

00:20:39.940 --> 00:20:43.339
specific episode of the wild. Well, if you don't

00:20:43.339 --> 00:20:45.720
remember an episode with dingoes, then you're

00:20:45.720 --> 00:20:48.099
not going to remember who he was. Stop right

00:20:48.099 --> 00:20:54.420
there. Okay, great. Yeah, that one. Donnie Thornberry.

00:20:55.160 --> 00:21:00.839
That's flea. Yeah, it is flea. wow i'm shocked

00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.480
everybody knew that oh yeah i thought that was

00:21:03.480 --> 00:21:05.500
pretty well known isn't that like his main acting

00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:08.640
credit to be fair yeah yeah like but i'm just

00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:11.940
how often do you think people remember that donnie

00:21:11.940 --> 00:21:14.660
thornberry was flea and all three of us knew

00:21:14.660 --> 00:21:18.240
that yeah true good for us for good for a 90s

00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:21.819
nostalgia right so danny goes through like uh

00:21:21.819 --> 00:21:24.920
uh craig ferguson's name is jared by the way

00:21:24.920 --> 00:21:29.079
okay so danny goes through jared's mansion and

00:21:29.079 --> 00:21:31.680
goes to the back where the boys are playing a

00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:35.180
bit of football. Yes, it is football, not soccer,

00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:39.440
not soccer, not football. It is football. Danny

00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:43.799
is a hitman. We learn that doesn't kill people.

00:21:43.940 --> 00:21:46.819
Jared's very upset because he keeps giving him

00:21:46.819 --> 00:21:50.920
people to kill and he's not doing it. Jokes on

00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:58.529
Jared. Yes, jokes on Jared. Also. The boys that

00:21:58.529 --> 00:22:01.069
are playing football stop because they want to

00:22:01.069 --> 00:22:05.509
hear Danny sing again. So Danny has a good voice.

00:22:05.750 --> 00:22:07.549
Danny has a good voice. I don't know if you know

00:22:07.549 --> 00:22:11.390
how Harry Connick Jr. is famous. I don't. Harry

00:22:11.390 --> 00:22:14.829
Connick Jr. has a very good voice. So he's like

00:22:14.829 --> 00:22:18.349
a Michael Bublé? Yes. I would say that is a very

00:22:18.349 --> 00:22:22.529
apt description. Okay. I like a Josh Groban type.

00:22:23.390 --> 00:22:27.380
It looks like he's one to... Emmys for music

00:22:27.380 --> 00:22:32.720
direction. Alright. So, yeah. He also was on

00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:34.759
American Idol, just in case you didn't know that.

00:22:35.059 --> 00:22:38.119
I did not. Yes, he was one of the judges on American

00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:43.740
Idol. Oh, fuck. Which seasons? None I cared about.

00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.619
Right. After it was important. Yeah, I was about

00:22:47.619 --> 00:22:50.880
to say, after Paula Abdul left. Yeah, okay, got

00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:53.539
it. If you replaced Paula, then yeah, I did not

00:22:53.539 --> 00:22:57.430
see it. that's what to say like are you do you

00:22:57.430 --> 00:22:59.950
love american idol i mean i loved it with the

00:22:59.950 --> 00:23:02.150
rest of the nation back when i was in fifth grade

00:23:02.150 --> 00:23:05.309
or whatever you know i've got a story to put

00:23:05.309 --> 00:23:07.430
a pin on this for later because we can talk after

00:23:07.430 --> 00:23:09.730
the show but remind me about american idol okay

00:23:09.730 --> 00:23:13.569
sounds great after um there's multiple people

00:23:13.569 --> 00:23:17.490
in this mob called patrick because of course

00:23:17.490 --> 00:23:21.339
irish mom oh great great great It's more offensive

00:23:21.339 --> 00:23:23.880
than us mixing up Irish people for Scottish people,

00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.259
to be honest. I see what they did there. Literally,

00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:28.940
I have in parentheses, Dear Lord, next to this

00:23:28.940 --> 00:23:32.660
note. They want him to sing, but he doesn't sing

00:23:32.660 --> 00:23:35.220
anymore because his ex -girlfriend Mary broke

00:23:35.220 --> 00:23:39.880
his heart. You know, marry that bitch. And crushed

00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:45.200
his spirit, I see. But how does Danny fit into

00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:52.339
this picture? Well, There was a hit on Dick.

00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:56.579
Okay. Wow. So that's why he got too close and

00:23:56.579 --> 00:23:58.880
he got backed into because he was following a

00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:04.599
little too close. So he had a hit on Dick. So

00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:09.700
he figures, hey, I met his girlfriend. I'm going

00:24:09.700 --> 00:24:12.980
to try to go to her house and basically try to

00:24:12.980 --> 00:24:18.220
get to him through her. Okay. Okay. Meanwhile.

00:24:18.809 --> 00:24:21.849
colleen is dragging dick's body to the basement

00:24:21.849 --> 00:24:26.569
she doesn't even take the guitar off of him she

00:24:26.569 --> 00:24:28.890
leaves it strapped on as she just drags him down

00:24:28.890 --> 00:24:31.569
the stairs and like every time she hits a stair

00:24:31.569 --> 00:24:35.910
oh sorry sorry and like it strums the guitar

00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:40.089
too like it makes a little okay i don't think

00:24:40.089 --> 00:24:43.049
they know how sound works but yeah some physical

00:24:43.049 --> 00:24:47.819
comedy for your bad rom -com yes uh She gets

00:24:47.819 --> 00:24:49.480
to the basement and all of a sudden the doorbell

00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:52.079
rings and she's freaking out because she doesn't

00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:55.539
know what to do. She goes to the door and it's

00:24:55.539 --> 00:25:00.099
Danny. And Danny is like making the moves on

00:25:00.099 --> 00:25:03.140
her, claims to be an art dealer. Apparently Colleen

00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:05.599
sells art. We didn't know this before, but she

00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:09.720
apparently sells art. I'm highly suspicious of

00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:15.700
that. Yep. Well, that's what happens. i don't

00:25:15.700 --> 00:25:18.180
know all of a sudden we just know she sells art

00:25:18.180 --> 00:25:20.819
and at the end of the movie her license plate

00:25:20.819 --> 00:25:24.779
did say call art which is even worse but it's

00:25:24.779 --> 00:25:27.779
worse yeah i didn't know that then so they go

00:25:27.779 --> 00:25:30.240
to the garage to look at some of her arts because

00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.880
that's how he's going to get the in he's gonna

00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:35.700
buy one of her masterpieces and she's gonna tell

00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:39.240
him where dick is um she claims that dick left

00:25:39.240 --> 00:25:43.160
or dick is gone she never says he left like leaves

00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:48.210
Dick is gone, is what she says. Okay. Keeping

00:25:48.210 --> 00:25:51.089
it vague. She never really lies because that

00:25:51.089 --> 00:25:55.609
becomes a part of this too. They're in the garage

00:25:55.609 --> 00:25:58.130
and she's showing the paintings and each one

00:25:58.130 --> 00:26:01.329
is like a different canvas with just a different

00:26:01.329 --> 00:26:05.170
color on it. Oh, this one's red. This one's green.

00:26:05.549 --> 00:26:08.670
And they walk to a blue one and he goes, let

00:26:08.670 --> 00:26:13.140
me guess, this one's blue. And she's like, Good

00:26:13.140 --> 00:26:15.779
guess. You're so smart. I've been stuck in this

00:26:15.779 --> 00:26:21.720
blue period. Okay. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

00:26:21.940 --> 00:26:26.660
Because he's dead. He's a stiff. Well, it was

00:26:26.660 --> 00:26:30.859
a Picasso joke, but yeah. Also that too. The

00:26:30.859 --> 00:26:34.759
writing is not good. Yeah. I'm pretty sure we

00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:36.099
could have written a better movie, the three

00:26:36.099 --> 00:26:40.500
of us. I think we try. After this episode talking

00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:45.599
about flashbacks. oh god man no i'm throwing

00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:47.220
you under the bus andre we're going together

00:26:47.220 --> 00:26:49.859
yeah we're we're still in the we're gonna work

00:26:49.859 --> 00:26:54.740
tomorrow man shit right uh no we're still we're

00:26:54.740 --> 00:26:57.039
this is back in the present now yeah this is

00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:00.019
present i'm sorry dick is dead danny has shown

00:27:00.019 --> 00:27:02.400
up danny has shown up he's looking at the art

00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:07.180
he wants to know where dick is um basically she

00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:13.400
sells danny blue For $200. God damn, what the

00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:18.900
hustle. Big sale. Danny is like so excited about

00:27:18.900 --> 00:27:21.779
it because, you know, he just made this big art

00:27:21.779 --> 00:27:25.339
dealer sale with the fabulous Colleen. You know,

00:27:25.339 --> 00:27:30.299
all that good stuff. For all he knows, they just

00:27:30.299 --> 00:27:36.019
broke up. And Danny goes, well, what time am

00:27:36.019 --> 00:27:39.279
I picking you up for our date? And she's just

00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:42.180
like, no, no, I want to get over Dick and everything

00:27:42.180 --> 00:27:44.240
like that. And he goes, well, I've got some stuff

00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:48.660
to do. I'll see you in three hours. He's one

00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:51.200
of those type of men. One of those type of men.

00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:57.220
He does not take no for an answer. So he takes

00:27:57.220 --> 00:28:00.839
the painting and he goes to his buddy Colin to

00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:04.599
hold on to the painting. Because it's very important.

00:28:05.339 --> 00:28:09.690
Colin's place. Has boxes everywhere. Just boxes

00:28:09.690 --> 00:28:13.809
of stuff. And some are labeled like. Machine

00:28:13.809 --> 00:28:18.250
guns. And some are labeled like. Weapons. And

00:28:18.250 --> 00:28:22.529
some are labeled like. Extortion stuff. I wish

00:28:22.529 --> 00:28:24.569
I was joking about this. Because that's actually

00:28:24.569 --> 00:28:28.670
what has happened. He's explaining how he met

00:28:28.670 --> 00:28:33.390
this girl. He's trying to like. Schmooze up to

00:28:33.390 --> 00:28:38.589
her. So he can find his next target. And Colin's

00:28:38.589 --> 00:28:40.930
just like, oh, this is great. Like, I'm so glad

00:28:40.930 --> 00:28:44.630
you found someone. And then all of a sudden you

00:28:44.630 --> 00:28:46.950
hear another voice behind Colin that's just like,

00:28:47.049 --> 00:28:51.869
yeah, me too. It's this guy, Peewee. Peewee is

00:28:51.869 --> 00:28:54.950
scotch taped to a chair because Colin forgot

00:28:54.950 --> 00:29:02.119
rope. Basically, Peewee is. I don't even know

00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:04.740
what Pee Wee did. Pee Wee did something. I have

00:29:04.740 --> 00:29:07.900
no clue what. He had a purpose. He had a purpose,

00:29:07.980 --> 00:29:10.420
but I don't know what it was. So he scotch taped

00:29:10.420 --> 00:29:14.180
to this chair and like Danny's tough talking

00:29:14.180 --> 00:29:16.279
that he's going to kill him and everything for

00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:23.359
opening his big mouth. Also, Danny sells Danny

00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:29.039
sells blue to Colin because why not? They have

00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:32.190
they're in a room marked. with machine guns but

00:29:32.190 --> 00:29:34.150
they don't have a gun to kill peewee so they

00:29:34.150 --> 00:29:36.230
just try to find something to bludgeon peewee

00:29:36.230 --> 00:29:43.309
to death they decide on golf clubs Danny does

00:29:43.309 --> 00:29:45.289
a couple of times where he's like faking like

00:29:45.289 --> 00:29:47.369
he's going to hit peewee and peewee kind of flinches

00:29:47.369 --> 00:29:49.529
you know and everything like that and then he

00:29:49.529 --> 00:29:52.730
leaves them to Colin well Colin decides he doesn't

00:29:52.730 --> 00:29:56.349
want to ruin the golf clubs because as much as

00:29:56.349 --> 00:29:59.460
his wife likes the color blue He likes the golf

00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:05.440
clubs more. So he smashes Peewee with the blue

00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.119
painting until he dies. We don't see this. This

00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:11.700
is off screen. Oh, my God. Okay. But Peewee is

00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:15.420
now dead. Killed by blue. The painting. All right.

00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:20.440
Peewee. Death by painting. Colleen has gotten

00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:22.900
artistic inspiration. So she's painting again

00:30:22.900 --> 00:30:29.109
because of Dick's death. And then we learn that

00:30:29.109 --> 00:30:34.369
Dick was a private dick. Yes, they do make that

00:30:34.369 --> 00:30:37.950
joke. Really? They do that? They make that joke.

00:30:38.210 --> 00:30:39.890
That's what they decide to do with that. Okay,

00:30:39.910 --> 00:30:42.589
great. They got Dick. How do you not take advantage

00:30:42.589 --> 00:30:45.869
of it? Right, right. He's a private dick. How

00:30:45.869 --> 00:30:49.069
do we figure this out? A flashback! Oh, God.

00:30:50.269 --> 00:30:56.809
So a flashback to a strip club. that dick is

00:30:56.809 --> 00:30:59.150
sitting at as all good dick stories start with

00:30:59.150 --> 00:31:02.109
as all good dick stories start with what is the

00:31:02.109 --> 00:31:05.730
stripper dressed like a stripper like what i

00:31:05.730 --> 00:31:08.710
don't understand like oh they were police officer

00:31:08.710 --> 00:31:11.170
oh they were fetish gear okay okay got it so

00:31:11.170 --> 00:31:15.329
is that kind of strip club most strip clubs uh

00:31:15.329 --> 00:31:18.089
so you see a police gear andre you have a guess

00:31:18.089 --> 00:31:22.529
wait wait wait what i'm sorry she's a naughty

00:31:22.529 --> 00:31:25.450
cop Oh, oh, oh, you're saying that it's a specific

00:31:25.450 --> 00:31:29.069
type of fetish, which kind? I was thinking like

00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:32.049
Dom, like Dominatrix or whatever, you know? A

00:31:32.049 --> 00:31:35.950
crossing guard. She's dressed like a sexy crossing

00:31:35.950 --> 00:31:39.309
guard. Come on, man. This is the crossing guard

00:31:39.309 --> 00:31:42.470
you mentioned. The sirens of the school system.

00:31:43.210 --> 00:31:48.569
The sirens of the school system. No, no. Come

00:31:48.569 --> 00:31:57.670
to tempt us again. amazing it's so bad so basically

00:31:57.670 --> 00:32:00.369
he's sitting there and he's just like watching

00:32:00.369 --> 00:32:02.990
this crossing guard she walks to the back two

00:32:02.990 --> 00:32:06.069
guys sit down that are obviously cops like their

00:32:06.069 --> 00:32:09.269
ties you know like suits everything like that

00:32:09.269 --> 00:32:11.710
they talk low voices and everything like that

00:32:11.710 --> 00:32:14.250
they're doing a bit this entire movie i think

00:32:14.250 --> 00:32:16.450
and it's awful like i don't know what this bit

00:32:16.450 --> 00:32:22.500
is but it's just terrible um So Dick realizes

00:32:22.500 --> 00:32:24.460
they're cops. He goes, you guys are cops, right?

00:32:24.579 --> 00:32:27.400
And they're like, yes. And he goes, are you guys

00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.160
operating in a sting? And the one guy goes, nope,

00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:34.779
just horny like everyone else. Wow. So relatable.

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:40.700
He basically tells them that he's a private investigator,

00:32:40.900 --> 00:32:43.880
private dick. He does say a private dick. And

00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:48.119
he has information about a certain person that

00:32:48.119 --> 00:32:50.630
they could. bring to the police to bring down

00:32:50.630 --> 00:32:54.470
he's been chosen to follow this guy who's been

00:32:54.470 --> 00:32:58.789
cheating on his wife and so do the cops want

00:32:58.789 --> 00:33:00.950
to know more and they're like of course he goes

00:33:00.950 --> 00:33:06.230
okay and then the cop realizes how he knows him

00:33:06.230 --> 00:33:13.910
flashback flashback in a flashback oh dear god

00:33:13.910 --> 00:33:19.259
basically it shows his commercials Or it's just

00:33:19.259 --> 00:33:21.279
straight up Johnny Knoxville being ridiculous.

00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:24.519
It's like, hi, my name's Dick. I'm a private

00:33:24.519 --> 00:33:26.980
dick that will work for you. Think your spouse

00:33:26.980 --> 00:33:29.559
is cheating? I'll find them. Think this, blah,

00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:34.339
blah, blah. And it's 1 -2 -0 -0. I'm a dick.

00:33:34.519 --> 00:33:37.700
That's the phone number. Okay, great. That's

00:33:37.700 --> 00:33:39.839
the joke. That's the punchline. That old 1 -800

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:44.660
numbers. Yes. It's no 1 -800 number. It's 1 -200.

00:33:45.369 --> 00:33:48.069
Oh, it's 1 -200? I was surprised it wasn't like

00:33:48.069 --> 00:33:51.269
5 -5 -5 or whatever. No, it was 1 -200. Okay.

00:33:54.569 --> 00:33:58.769
What else do we got? Okay, so... Oh, there we

00:33:58.769 --> 00:34:02.430
go. So that flashback is over. Yes, flashback.

00:34:03.170 --> 00:34:09.550
It goes to Colleen and she's getting picked up

00:34:09.550 --> 00:34:13.210
by Danny for their date. They go walking in this

00:34:13.210 --> 00:34:16.230
field. because you go walking in a field when

00:34:16.230 --> 00:34:19.550
you're on a date apparently and he wants to show

00:34:19.550 --> 00:34:22.750
that he's this brave strong hitman so he brings

00:34:22.750 --> 00:34:26.050
his gun and there of course are bottles set up

00:34:26.050 --> 00:34:29.349
and he's gonna shoot them all down well as soon

00:34:29.349 --> 00:34:32.030
as it goes off he just kind of like freaks out

00:34:32.030 --> 00:34:34.590
because he's not a killer he doesn't really use

00:34:34.590 --> 00:34:39.050
his gun okay So he's just like, yeah, you know,

00:34:39.070 --> 00:34:40.829
I missed to make you feel better. Why don't you

00:34:40.829 --> 00:34:43.929
try? And she goes and she makes this face like.

00:34:45.530 --> 00:34:47.769
Like she's really concentrating and it looks

00:34:47.769 --> 00:34:51.789
like she's constipated. And she shoots them off.

00:34:52.989 --> 00:34:55.389
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Great shot. Great

00:34:55.389 --> 00:35:04.159
shot. I had at this point. Oh. No, there was

00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:06.679
more. Sorry. I skipped ahead because I didn't

00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:08.699
care about it enough because at this point...

00:35:08.699 --> 00:35:12.039
So this is night one of trying to watch this

00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:14.440
movie because I stopped. I couldn't get through

00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:18.599
anymore. I literally could not do it. I watched

00:35:18.599 --> 00:35:21.579
something else for two hours. How far into the

00:35:21.579 --> 00:35:25.519
film is this? 30 minutes into an hour 45, but

00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:29.179
I started getting a little more quick with my

00:35:29.179 --> 00:35:33.230
notes. not as sparse yeah i get it yeah yeah

00:35:33.230 --> 00:35:36.309
and it does become a little more like you don't

00:35:36.309 --> 00:35:40.510
need notes for all this shit um so they go to

00:35:40.510 --> 00:35:43.010
dinner they're talking for a while they go to

00:35:43.010 --> 00:35:46.250
uh they drive around for a little bit they're

00:35:46.250 --> 00:35:49.469
on this bridge they're talking i have said dick

00:35:49.469 --> 00:35:51.690
has been dead for maybe eight hours at this point

00:35:51.690 --> 00:35:54.869
they are on a date and she's already told him

00:35:54.869 --> 00:35:57.590
that she is never going to keep secrets from

00:35:57.590 --> 00:36:04.670
him Okay. He has a big secret. And so she's like,

00:36:04.750 --> 00:36:07.590
well, tell me. And he's like, no, I can't tell

00:36:07.590 --> 00:36:09.809
you. I can't tell you the secret. It's too big.

00:36:10.090 --> 00:36:13.010
And she goes, well, I'll tickle it out of you.

00:36:13.750 --> 00:36:16.869
This is actually a part of the movie. This is

00:36:16.869 --> 00:36:22.570
someone's fetish. Yeah. So what his big secret

00:36:22.570 --> 00:36:25.590
was, is he became a hit man because his ex Mary

00:36:25.590 --> 00:36:30.570
wanted him to be more manly. That's not a really

00:36:30.570 --> 00:36:32.590
great motivation to be a hitman, to be honest

00:36:32.590 --> 00:36:36.010
with you. He wanted to be a singer because he

00:36:36.010 --> 00:36:38.610
doesn't sing anymore because she laughed at him

00:36:38.610 --> 00:36:42.449
when he sang last. So he just decided to be like,

00:36:42.510 --> 00:36:45.869
I'm going to be a murderer. No, he's not a murderer.

00:36:46.030 --> 00:36:48.570
Does he kill people other ways other than shooting?

00:36:48.610 --> 00:36:52.309
He hasn't killed anybody. He's not an assassin

00:36:52.309 --> 00:36:55.150
because he hasn't killed anybody. But he wants

00:36:55.150 --> 00:36:58.429
to be one to prove that he can. it's like set

00:36:58.429 --> 00:37:00.469
dressing he doesn't really want to kill a person

00:37:00.469 --> 00:37:03.449
well he's just feeding his own machismo there's

00:37:03.449 --> 00:37:05.929
more to his relationship with jared why we learn

00:37:05.929 --> 00:37:09.949
that jared hasn't like just killed himself at

00:37:09.949 --> 00:37:12.789
this point okay but we haven't learned that yet

00:37:12.789 --> 00:37:16.409
oh my god we're already at 10 minutes in this

00:37:16.409 --> 00:37:20.269
thing shit okay this is gonna be a long episode

00:37:20.269 --> 00:37:21.730
but it's fine because we don't have commercials

00:37:21.730 --> 00:37:26.699
anymore edit some of our extra stuff yeah i'm

00:37:26.699 --> 00:37:32.059
gonna edit some of it don't worry um she convinces

00:37:32.059 --> 00:37:35.380
him and goes that singing is very manly like

00:37:35.380 --> 00:37:38.300
to go out there and put yourself out there it's

00:37:38.300 --> 00:37:40.760
so very manly and truthfully i agree with this

00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:43.860
because sure i was a singer at some point so

00:37:43.860 --> 00:37:50.530
long long time ago you know um And he goes, do

00:37:50.530 --> 00:37:55.510
you have any secrets? And she says, I do. I'm

00:37:55.510 --> 00:37:59.929
falling for you. Oh, dear God. That's some integrity,

00:38:00.170 --> 00:38:05.469
Carrie. I have one note for this. Run! Run, man!

00:38:05.969 --> 00:38:11.150
Run from the bitch! She's crazy! He's been dead

00:38:11.150 --> 00:38:14.130
for eight hours! But he doesn't know he's dead,

00:38:14.289 --> 00:38:17.889
right? Not yet. This is the part she also goes,

00:38:17.969 --> 00:38:21.909
I also do have a big secret. And I know I chose

00:38:21.909 --> 00:38:24.650
a movie on Tubi, but this is the terrible spot

00:38:24.650 --> 00:38:27.349
to do a commercial because they're just about

00:38:27.349 --> 00:38:30.090
to do the big reveal that Dick is dead. Cliffhanger.

00:38:30.489 --> 00:38:33.769
Yeah. We're also going to take Cliffhanger because

00:38:33.769 --> 00:38:37.210
I need to tell you about our winner for the Guess

00:38:37.210 --> 00:38:40.630
the Bad Movie contest. They are a newer podcast.

00:38:40.730 --> 00:38:43.190
They do not have a promo yet, but that's okay.

00:38:44.030 --> 00:38:47.469
So we are going to give some love to our friends.

00:38:47.590 --> 00:38:51.829
Explain it me podcast. They say we are a comedy

00:38:51.829 --> 00:38:54.269
podcast where each week we tell a confusing movie

00:38:54.269 --> 00:38:57.050
to the person who hasn't seen the film. And the

00:38:57.050 --> 00:38:59.650
only rule is we have to be drunk to explain it.

00:39:00.929 --> 00:39:05.690
Okay. I will include their link tree in our bio

00:39:05.690 --> 00:39:08.630
of the episode, but it is one of the things I'd

00:39:08.630 --> 00:39:11.809
love to say about them is they are two female

00:39:11.809 --> 00:39:19.329
hosts. obviously drinking great and they followed

00:39:19.329 --> 00:39:23.690
us to play this game you never have to do that

00:39:23.690 --> 00:39:25.550
with us you can play your game play the game

00:39:25.550 --> 00:39:27.269
even if we don't follow you or anything like

00:39:27.269 --> 00:39:30.369
that we love it just play the game uh hang out

00:39:30.369 --> 00:39:32.849
with us talk bad movies with us it's awesome

00:39:32.849 --> 00:39:35.369
they literally gave us a follow so that they

00:39:35.369 --> 00:39:37.449
could play and they were the first ones to get

00:39:37.449 --> 00:39:44.179
it so check out explain to me podcast um That's

00:39:44.179 --> 00:39:46.179
all I got. Normally we take a break at this point,

00:39:46.219 --> 00:39:48.039
but I don't have their promo. So they will have

00:39:48.039 --> 00:39:49.760
a promo eventually. We'll include them on a later

00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:51.800
episode. We are not doing commercials anymore,

00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:54.119
so we do not have a commercial. So I'll tell

00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:59.619
you more about this movie now. Can't wait. So

00:39:59.619 --> 00:40:06.500
she has told him her secrets. She has fallen

00:40:06.500 --> 00:40:08.679
for him. Except for the fact that she has a recently

00:40:08.679 --> 00:40:12.769
deceased boyfriend. Oh, no, she has told them

00:40:12.769 --> 00:40:15.250
the secrets now because she came back from that

00:40:15.250 --> 00:40:18.809
scene where she told him that she's falling for

00:40:18.809 --> 00:40:22.170
him. Yeah, she is also in the basement now showing

00:40:22.170 --> 00:40:27.650
him. Dick's dead body. Oh, great secret that

00:40:27.650 --> 00:40:30.510
we we the audience knew. But now, yes, we knew

00:40:30.510 --> 00:40:34.690
as well. Yes. How is Danny still here at this

00:40:34.690 --> 00:40:40.130
point? he's really really into her she said she's

00:40:40.130 --> 00:40:42.630
falling for him and she shows you her murdered

00:40:42.630 --> 00:40:45.469
ex that's been dead for less than eight hours

00:40:45.469 --> 00:40:50.570
and you're still there and not only that she

00:40:50.570 --> 00:40:52.869
gets aroused by the fact that she showed him

00:40:52.869 --> 00:40:59.369
this and starts to make out with him cool literally

00:40:59.369 --> 00:41:01.610
danny calls her out and was just like can we

00:41:01.610 --> 00:41:05.739
do this anywhere else because He's right, and

00:41:05.739 --> 00:41:08.739
also he should run. Yes, also he should run.

00:41:10.360 --> 00:41:13.780
Hi, Sophie. There's just a cat. A cat has appeared.

00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:17.599
Yeah, he should definitely run at this point.

00:41:19.719 --> 00:41:24.059
We go forward, flash forward. We don't have to

00:41:24.059 --> 00:41:26.659
drink for this one. Flash forward. Ah, yes, not

00:41:26.659 --> 00:41:30.440
a flashback. To her in her bed alone. Drink.

00:41:31.179 --> 00:41:37.449
Andre said it. Oh, sorry. Oh, fuck, yeah. Thanks,

00:41:37.510 --> 00:41:41.309
Andre. No problem. We flash forward to her and

00:41:41.309 --> 00:41:45.429
her bed alone. Her room is painted sky blue and

00:41:45.429 --> 00:41:47.730
her sheets are sky blue with like clouds and

00:41:47.730 --> 00:41:50.150
stuff on them. Okay. It's a little excessive.

00:41:50.670 --> 00:41:53.670
Yeah, exactly. I was just like, I feel like this

00:41:53.670 --> 00:41:56.670
girl isn't an adult. She's not making good decisions.

00:41:57.269 --> 00:41:59.289
I mean, you're calling her a girl, not a woman.

00:41:59.789 --> 00:42:03.250
That is true. I feel like this woman isn't an

00:42:03.250 --> 00:42:07.619
adult. Sarah Jessica Parker is at her ditziest

00:42:07.619 --> 00:42:11.980
as Colleen. Wow, that's saying something. Jill

00:42:11.980 --> 00:42:14.280
and I were talking about this before. She can

00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:19.860
pull off ditzy and everything like that. That's

00:42:19.860 --> 00:42:24.039
who she is, is Carrie. She's ditzy. Right. This

00:42:24.039 --> 00:42:27.940
is too much. This is too far over the top. I

00:42:27.940 --> 00:42:30.579
don't know. It's a caricature of herself. Yes.

00:42:31.119 --> 00:42:33.960
but finally i think to myself okay she's alone

00:42:33.960 --> 00:42:36.440
in this bed danny wised up and was like i gotta

00:42:36.440 --> 00:42:40.679
get out of here uh he left a note saying that

00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:45.000
he took dick with him what and that he'll be

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:51.039
back soon what back yes this dude's an idiot

00:42:51.039 --> 00:42:56.500
this dude's very much an idiot um if goes to

00:42:56.500 --> 00:43:02.090
this dump where david kochner is Do you guys

00:43:02.090 --> 00:43:05.909
know who David Koechner is? No. David Koechner

00:43:05.909 --> 00:43:09.469
is this guy. Oh, that guy. I know that guy. Champ

00:43:09.469 --> 00:43:15.309
Kind. Champ Kind from Anchorman. Yeah. He's been

00:43:15.309 --> 00:43:17.090
in a bunch of stuff, Joe. Yeah, he's been in

00:43:17.090 --> 00:43:19.849
a bunch of stuff. I'm sure he has. Did you not

00:43:19.849 --> 00:43:22.769
see him in Skull? Like, I know this guy? No.

00:43:23.650 --> 00:43:29.289
No? All right. Well, that guy, David Koechner,

00:43:29.349 --> 00:43:33.340
is in this. Great. Good for him. He plays the

00:43:33.340 --> 00:43:36.820
dump owner that Danny is dumping the body into

00:43:36.820 --> 00:43:43.800
Dick's body and basically goes that Jesus is

00:43:43.800 --> 00:43:46.480
coming and he is going to have to repent for

00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:49.699
letting everybody throw their bodies into there.

00:43:50.659 --> 00:44:00.820
Okay. Yeah. Hmm. Agreed. Then Dick. or dick danny

00:44:00.820 --> 00:44:03.900
goes to prove that he murdered dick to jared

00:44:03.900 --> 00:44:08.599
jared we obviously learn or we know is the leader

00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:10.760
of this irish mob because he just wears green

00:44:10.760 --> 00:44:14.739
all the time yeah okay every single time we see

00:44:14.739 --> 00:44:17.360
him he's wearing some kind of green gotta gotta

00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:21.480
keep that the irishness present he wants to be

00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:24.860
proven that dick is dead so he goes with him

00:44:24.860 --> 00:44:27.809
to the dump And not only does it go with him,

00:44:27.869 --> 00:44:32.329
he steals stuff from Dick's dead body, including

00:44:32.329 --> 00:44:36.590
the two tickets to Rome and the engagement ring.

00:44:36.769 --> 00:44:42.130
Oh, Dick was ready to lock it in. Yes. Good for

00:44:42.130 --> 00:44:45.130
Dick? Question mark? Sad for Dick, man. Shit,

00:44:45.170 --> 00:44:49.130
man. And so Jared is so happy. He's like, oh,

00:44:49.170 --> 00:44:51.690
Danny, you did it, me boy. Like, you killed him.

00:44:52.250 --> 00:44:54.449
Here's three more names. Like, gives him three

00:44:54.449 --> 00:44:58.920
more names. and so now he has to kill three more

00:44:58.920 --> 00:45:02.019
people and danny's is like no you told me that

00:45:02.019 --> 00:45:05.199
i was done i'm not gonna do any more like i'm

00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:07.559
done dude you're an assassin this is yeah i was

00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:09.619
about to say now you get a heart come on man

00:45:09.619 --> 00:45:12.039
well colleen has made him realize he can be a

00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:17.559
singer again he found his voice yes he found

00:45:17.559 --> 00:45:23.179
his voice um but basically danny if you don't

00:45:23.179 --> 00:45:29.000
know this about danny His sister is married to

00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:31.860
Jared. This is a relationship we learn about

00:45:31.860 --> 00:45:34.639
and why Jared didn't care that he was an assassin

00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:38.840
that didn't kill people. Okay. And basically

00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:42.539
he goes, you love your sister, don't you? And

00:45:42.539 --> 00:45:47.960
he's like, yes, of course I do. And he goes,

00:45:48.019 --> 00:45:51.280
well, you got to do this for her. Otherwise I'm

00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:59.389
taking her out. Whoa. But Danny goes, all right,

00:45:59.409 --> 00:46:02.949
I want a limit on this. I want to know how many

00:46:02.949 --> 00:46:05.030
people I have to kill, and then I'm going to

00:46:05.030 --> 00:46:10.090
be done. Jared says, if you kill five more people,

00:46:10.730 --> 00:46:15.030
I will make you the headliner at the Shillelagh

00:46:15.030 --> 00:46:18.789
room. You can sing every day, and you'll be the

00:46:18.789 --> 00:46:23.210
headliner. Okay. It's a weird deal, but cool.

00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:27.139
And if he doesn't, he gets murdered. Sophie.

00:46:27.380 --> 00:46:30.320
All right. All right. Yes, there's a Sophie behind

00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:32.400
an Andre now. I know. Yeah, she's hanging out.

00:46:32.420 --> 00:46:34.920
So is this like supposed to be kind of like a

00:46:34.920 --> 00:46:38.519
Faustian deal here? Not really. I don't think

00:46:38.519 --> 00:46:40.539
it's smart enough for that. No, it's definitely

00:46:40.539 --> 00:46:43.280
not smart enough. Yeah, right. I'm not a very

00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:46.079
smart person. And I felt like I had a Harvard

00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:50.210
education with this movie. So. As we've established,

00:46:50.469 --> 00:46:55.429
Danny is cute but dumb. And he's the world's...

00:46:55.429 --> 00:46:58.050
I don't think he's cute. I was going to say,

00:46:58.110 --> 00:47:00.929
Harry Connick Jr. looks like a foot to me. He

00:47:00.929 --> 00:47:06.110
does look like a foot. So the poster, he looks

00:47:06.110 --> 00:47:07.989
horrible. He looks way better in the trailer.

00:47:09.070 --> 00:47:12.110
He looks bad in all of it, according to me. Because

00:47:12.110 --> 00:47:15.409
his face curves in. So that's why I say he looks

00:47:15.409 --> 00:47:18.130
like a foot. Because he's got the big part here.

00:47:18.670 --> 00:47:22.389
And then it curves in like one side. So it's

00:47:22.389 --> 00:47:24.789
like the arch of the foot. Damn, dude, that's

00:47:24.789 --> 00:47:27.449
rough. That's harsh. He looks like a foot. Look

00:47:27.449 --> 00:47:29.409
at this man. He looks like a foot. He does look

00:47:29.409 --> 00:47:31.510
kind of like a foot. That's not a good picture

00:47:31.510 --> 00:47:34.289
of him. Yeah. And they decided to use him for

00:47:34.289 --> 00:47:36.090
the poster. Think about that. Johnny Knoxville

00:47:36.090 --> 00:47:37.829
is upside down for some reason. Johnny Knoxville

00:47:37.829 --> 00:47:40.510
looks pretty good. But he's also cut off in most

00:47:40.510 --> 00:47:43.210
of the pictures. Yeah, but I'm just saying Johnny

00:47:43.210 --> 00:47:46.500
Knoxville looks. Yes, we know you have. We know

00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:48.880
you have Johnny Knoxville aging like a nice gray

00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:54.000
fox. Fuck. John Knoxville, the guy I don't have

00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.780
to worry about. She tells me not to worry about

00:47:55.780 --> 00:48:01.000
what the fuck. I don't think. OK, listeners,

00:48:01.139 --> 00:48:04.599
I need you on this one. What is Johnny Knoxville

00:48:04.599 --> 00:48:10.699
attractive? Oh. Like, is he? Have you seen him

00:48:10.699 --> 00:48:12.780
lately? He was on. Yes, I've seen him with the

00:48:12.780 --> 00:48:15.000
gray hair. I think I think I think it looks pretty

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:17.900
good for what he's put himself through. And I'll

00:48:17.900 --> 00:48:20.900
leave it at that. You know, I like I think he's

00:48:20.900 --> 00:48:24.280
I like the gray and a good for him, man. OK,

00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:33.260
great. Yeah. So. I forgot where I'm at. OK, so

00:48:33.260 --> 00:48:35.659
Dick had an engagement ring and tickets to Rome.

00:48:35.940 --> 00:48:38.710
That's what we learned about. We had a flashback.

00:48:41.610 --> 00:48:44.150
Oh, God. Sorry. Yes. Come on, Andre. What are

00:48:44.150 --> 00:48:48.929
you doing? To Dick at the strip club with the

00:48:48.929 --> 00:48:52.710
cops. He's telling the cops that he was planning

00:48:52.710 --> 00:48:57.650
to marry Colleen and go to Rome. Okay. Madam

00:48:57.650 --> 00:49:01.110
Hugo not told her that he was planning on going

00:49:01.110 --> 00:49:04.289
to Rome and marrying some crossing guard. Okay.

00:49:05.130 --> 00:49:08.510
So. she thought he was cheating the whole time

00:49:08.510 --> 00:49:13.030
but really he was loyal to her even though he

00:49:13.030 --> 00:49:14.909
went to strip clubs and like hit on people in

00:49:14.909 --> 00:49:19.610
front of her yep what a bitch what a bitch indeed

00:49:19.610 --> 00:49:23.369
yeah i did no no explanation just killed him

00:49:23.369 --> 00:49:26.989
and i also think that i think that everybody

00:49:26.989 --> 00:49:31.969
in this situation deserves everything bad they

00:49:31.969 --> 00:49:36.960
all do um danny comes back after dumping dick's

00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:40.820
body she basically is like cuddling with him

00:49:40.820 --> 00:49:43.079
in bed and she's like you won't ever lie to me

00:49:43.079 --> 00:49:48.940
would you daniel don't answer that um let's just

00:49:48.940 --> 00:49:51.159
also talk about the fact that she lied that dick

00:49:51.159 --> 00:49:54.980
had left or was gone instead of that dick was

00:49:54.980 --> 00:49:59.860
dead and like i understand The fact that he's

00:49:59.860 --> 00:50:01.199
dead and everything like that, you don't want

00:50:01.199 --> 00:50:03.119
to open with that. But at the same time, like

00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:05.019
you should have just given it some space. Oh,

00:50:05.039 --> 00:50:15.639
Dick died. Whatever. Cool. We also learn that

00:50:15.639 --> 00:50:19.380
Colleen has entered Danny into a radio talent

00:50:19.380 --> 00:50:23.739
contest and the winning singer gets a record

00:50:23.739 --> 00:50:28.920
deal. That's convenient. So it's either he kills

00:50:28.920 --> 00:50:32.500
five people or he enters this contest and gets

00:50:32.500 --> 00:50:37.039
a record deal. What would you do? Definitely

00:50:37.039 --> 00:50:39.019
not the kill people part. Yeah, probably not

00:50:39.019 --> 00:50:42.800
the kill people one. Yeah. Well, what if you

00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:44.860
don't kill the people and he tries to kill you

00:50:44.860 --> 00:50:50.960
anyway? Whoa. That's not what happens. That's

00:50:50.960 --> 00:50:53.079
where I thought this was going. That is not where

00:50:53.079 --> 00:50:57.170
this went. He takes the gun to his cousin to

00:50:57.170 --> 00:50:59.829
get rid of. His cousin is played by David Cross.

00:51:00.969 --> 00:51:04.489
Oh, what? Okay. David Cross is in this? Yes,

00:51:04.530 --> 00:51:07.789
for a whole three minutes, maybe. Good for him

00:51:07.789 --> 00:51:10.230
on the paycheck, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Basically,

00:51:10.349 --> 00:51:13.170
they're at this bar just tossing this gun back

00:51:13.170 --> 00:51:15.030
and forth, like pushing it back and forth. Well,

00:51:15.110 --> 00:51:17.489
I don't want this gun anymore. Well, this gun's

00:51:17.489 --> 00:51:19.369
your problem. Well, you should get rid of it

00:51:19.369 --> 00:51:21.949
for me. Just back and forth in public at this

00:51:21.949 --> 00:51:24.800
bar. You know, in the middle of daylight, it's

00:51:24.800 --> 00:51:26.659
a busy day at the bar. There's plenty of people

00:51:26.659 --> 00:51:32.739
there. She I'm getting ahead of myself here because

00:51:32.739 --> 00:51:35.780
he also told her before he went and did this.

00:51:35.860 --> 00:51:39.300
So Danny told Colleen what you want to do. Did

00:51:39.300 --> 00:51:43.019
you have any plans with Dick tonight? And she

00:51:43.019 --> 00:51:45.820
goes, yes, it's his birthday. I wanted to throw

00:51:45.820 --> 00:51:48.699
him a surprise party, but I guess I'm not doing

00:51:48.699 --> 00:51:51.800
that anymore. Danny goes, no, throw the surprise

00:51:51.800 --> 00:51:54.320
party. Because then the cops will be thrown off

00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:56.480
your trail because who throws the surprise party

00:51:56.480 --> 00:52:01.500
for a dead person? It's actually decent logic.

00:52:01.940 --> 00:52:08.079
Sure. Dumb, but whatever. That summarizes this

00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:12.360
movie well. Dumb, but whatever. Let's get back

00:52:12.360 --> 00:52:15.159
to where we were. So Danny has given the gun

00:52:15.159 --> 00:52:20.159
to David Cross, his cousin. The body is in the

00:52:20.159 --> 00:52:24.250
dump with David Kochner. who is saying that the

00:52:24.250 --> 00:52:28.929
lord is going to make them all repent danny has

00:52:28.929 --> 00:52:32.389
to kill five more people to get out of jared's

00:52:32.389 --> 00:52:37.150
clutches jared is married to danny's sister dick

00:52:37.150 --> 00:52:40.050
is dead and colleen is throwing a surprise party

00:52:40.050 --> 00:52:45.130
so that she acts unsuspicious okay okay so at

00:52:45.130 --> 00:52:49.369
the surprise party um also all the friends are

00:52:49.369 --> 00:52:52.989
there and they don't realize that She just has

00:52:52.989 --> 00:52:57.230
Danny there. Danny's just there. How he relates?

00:52:57.329 --> 00:53:00.250
I don't know. But he's just at this party. Yep.

00:53:03.210 --> 00:53:13.329
I need a beer. He fake gets a call from Dick

00:53:13.329 --> 00:53:16.829
saying that he left to go to Rome with the crossing

00:53:16.829 --> 00:53:21.519
guard. And all the friends like. And Colleen

00:53:21.519 --> 00:53:24.019
just falls to the ground, pretend crying like,

00:53:24.139 --> 00:53:26.780
oh, my God, he left me. All the friends are just

00:53:26.780 --> 00:53:29.179
like, yeah, we're going to get out of here. And

00:53:29.179 --> 00:53:31.639
they all leave. And it's just the two of them.

00:53:31.699 --> 00:53:34.199
And they got away with it. Everybody knows they

00:53:34.199 --> 00:53:39.320
threw a surprise party. Dick's gone to Rome with

00:53:39.320 --> 00:53:42.719
a crossing guard. The sirens of the school system.

00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:46.039
Does the crossing guard lady have a name? Or

00:53:46.039 --> 00:53:49.090
is this always just a crossing guard? Just a

00:53:49.090 --> 00:53:52.469
crossing guard. Creative. The two cops that were

00:53:52.469 --> 00:53:55.610
at the strip club then show up after the party

00:53:55.610 --> 00:53:58.750
is left because they found out that Pee Wee got

00:53:58.750 --> 00:54:02.630
killed with a painting made by Colleen. Okay.

00:54:02.989 --> 00:54:05.929
All coming together. It's all coming together.

00:54:06.050 --> 00:54:09.550
Right. She goes, she sold it. And she sold it

00:54:09.550 --> 00:54:12.690
a long time ago to some random person. And she

00:54:12.690 --> 00:54:18.329
describes this person as Pee Wee. so obviously

00:54:18.329 --> 00:54:21.250
because the cops like kept giving her clues was

00:54:21.250 --> 00:54:24.250
it a big man and she's like yes he was kind of

00:54:24.250 --> 00:54:29.110
big oh brown hair he did have brown hair and

00:54:29.110 --> 00:54:31.869
so they're just like oh so peewee obviously had

00:54:31.869 --> 00:54:33.650
this painting and somebody came in and killed

00:54:33.650 --> 00:54:36.590
them just using the painting as a weapon because

00:54:36.590 --> 00:54:38.670
paintings are weapons now i don't know if you

00:54:38.670 --> 00:54:42.130
know this they're heavy heavy things yeah maybe

00:54:43.559 --> 00:54:45.659
So she's starting to get worried that the police

00:54:45.659 --> 00:54:47.940
are getting close. She's like, and Danny's like,

00:54:48.019 --> 00:54:51.059
we need privacy. And she's like, what? We need

00:54:51.059 --> 00:54:52.699
privacy? We're in my own house. It's just the

00:54:52.699 --> 00:54:56.519
two of us. So they go to the Irish bar. There's

00:54:56.519 --> 00:54:58.219
a bunch of people there. There's a band playing,

00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:02.840
you know, whatever. He starts talking about how

00:55:02.840 --> 00:55:05.239
he's a hit man for the mob. And she's just cool

00:55:05.239 --> 00:55:08.260
with it. She understands now because it all makes

00:55:08.260 --> 00:55:12.630
sense. he's just like we needed to go here because

00:55:12.630 --> 00:55:15.469
and i need to tell you about this because i love

00:55:15.469 --> 00:55:18.210
you it's like two days into their relationship

00:55:18.210 --> 00:55:21.150
this is romeo and juliet bullshit they're 13

00:55:21.150 --> 00:55:23.449
and they're falling in love already like what

00:55:23.449 --> 00:55:26.050
the shit's going on it seems like colleen has

00:55:26.050 --> 00:55:30.869
the mental capacity of a teenager exactly right

00:55:30.869 --> 00:55:34.010
and danny's just like hey i got my dick wet so

00:55:34.010 --> 00:55:45.320
you know speaking of dick Dick, no. So he's explained

00:55:45.320 --> 00:55:47.820
to her that he can't shoot anybody, but he needs

00:55:47.820 --> 00:55:49.480
to kill all these people so he can get out of

00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:51.579
the clutches of Jared. And she's like, murdering

00:55:51.579 --> 00:55:53.679
is easy. It's like jumping off the high board.

00:55:53.840 --> 00:55:56.380
You just got to do it. Yeah, it's scary at first,

00:55:56.440 --> 00:56:01.079
but you just got to jump. And because he can't

00:56:01.079 --> 00:56:03.719
do it, she will do the hits for him because she'll

00:56:03.719 --> 00:56:08.159
do anything for him. Okay. at this point i called

00:56:08.159 --> 00:56:10.579
it it's basically it's trying to be so i married

00:56:10.579 --> 00:56:12.599
an axe murderer but it was written by a blind

00:56:12.599 --> 00:56:16.679
monkey yep sounds about right the three people

00:56:16.679 --> 00:56:20.639
are drug dealers and she just goes in and kills

00:56:20.639 --> 00:56:22.619
them we don't see anything and we don't hear

00:56:22.619 --> 00:56:24.699
anything so it's not like we hear gunshots or

00:56:24.699 --> 00:56:28.280
anything she just walks in boom boom boom walks

00:56:28.280 --> 00:56:33.800
out and she's just cool they're dead what gone

00:56:34.539 --> 00:56:36.400
Those three drug dealers are gone. The names

00:56:36.400 --> 00:56:40.079
are off the list. So Danny comes and says, hey,

00:56:40.139 --> 00:56:42.699
I killed these drug dealers and gets more hits.

00:56:43.340 --> 00:56:46.760
And she just does it again. And there was a part

00:56:46.760 --> 00:56:49.300
where literally she was like outside of a car

00:56:49.300 --> 00:56:53.320
doing a drive by in slow motion in this montage.

00:56:54.619 --> 00:56:57.820
I'm very surprised that this is where they're

00:56:57.820 --> 00:57:01.239
going with this because it's like a post 9 -11

00:57:01.239 --> 00:57:04.639
world. Which once again makes me think they filmed

00:57:04.639 --> 00:57:10.559
this before 9 -11. It's also like a post Columbine

00:57:10.559 --> 00:57:13.139
world. School shootings have happened. Not that

00:57:13.139 --> 00:57:15.500
these are school shootings, but this is some

00:57:15.500 --> 00:57:19.139
cavalier gun usage. So far we've known that he

00:57:19.139 --> 00:57:21.639
wanted to kill Dick, these three drug dealers,

00:57:22.039 --> 00:57:25.679
and then some bad people. One was a child pornographer.

00:57:26.409 --> 00:57:29.670
So a very bad person. Yeah. So, like, these people

00:57:29.670 --> 00:57:32.190
seem like bad people. That was played for, like,

00:57:32.190 --> 00:57:34.849
laughs? I gotcha. It's played for laughs, yeah.

00:57:35.230 --> 00:57:38.269
Sorry, Batman doesn't kill people. He's... No,

00:57:38.269 --> 00:57:42.369
this is wanted before they realize that it's

00:57:42.369 --> 00:57:46.150
just somebody pulling the strings. Okay. Huh.

00:57:47.610 --> 00:57:52.309
So the five bodies are dead. Guess what? Danny's

00:57:52.309 --> 00:57:56.679
not done. They're advancing for more. and he

00:57:56.679 --> 00:57:58.460
threatens when i thought i was that they pull

00:57:58.460 --> 00:58:03.840
me back in yep uh colleen is just like you need

00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:05.780
to ask him questions why are we doing this hit

00:58:05.780 --> 00:58:08.000
still who are these people like she's starting

00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:09.980
to get a conscience all of a sudden she's also

00:58:09.980 --> 00:58:11.900
not doing it because she got a conscience though

00:58:11.900 --> 00:58:15.440
she got it because she's just getting bored with

00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:22.860
killing uh okay so she's not totally crazy now

00:58:22.860 --> 00:58:27.030
ivy who is Danny's sister has a pill overdose.

00:58:29.150 --> 00:58:31.949
And at first Danny's like freaking out because

00:58:31.949 --> 00:58:35.789
he's like, Oh shit, he killed Ivy. I got to get

00:58:35.789 --> 00:58:38.610
over there. So he goes over there and she really

00:58:38.610 --> 00:58:41.750
faked the pill overdose because she wants Danny

00:58:41.750 --> 00:58:44.809
to kill Jared. Cause she knows that Jared was

00:58:44.809 --> 00:58:49.070
cheating on her. How does she know Jared was

00:58:49.070 --> 00:58:54.570
cheating on her? Dick. was following Jared and

00:58:54.570 --> 00:59:00.469
got pictures. Oh. Dick was a pretty good dick

00:59:00.469 --> 00:59:03.130
after all, huh? Yes, Dick was a pretty good dick.

00:59:05.769 --> 00:59:07.750
There's another part. I'm going to skip over

00:59:07.750 --> 00:59:09.429
this because I feel like we've talked way too

00:59:09.429 --> 00:59:15.329
long about this fucking movie. Jared wants Dick

00:59:15.329 --> 00:59:18.429
to kill the tuner is his name, his nickname.

00:59:19.369 --> 00:59:25.960
The tuner is dating Mary. So basically when the

00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:28.440
tuner goes to the art, so they're at lunch, the

00:59:28.440 --> 00:59:31.320
tuner and Mary show up. The tuner goes to the

00:59:31.320 --> 00:59:34.400
bathroom. Colleen goes to the bathroom to finish

00:59:34.400 --> 00:59:40.519
the tuner. And Mary is left alone with Danny.

00:59:41.420 --> 00:59:46.460
And of course, Mary kisses Danny. And so she's

00:59:46.460 --> 00:59:50.699
all pissed at Danny. And she also thinks that

00:59:50.699 --> 00:59:55.820
this is just. Danny wanting her to get rid of

00:59:55.820 --> 00:59:58.780
the boyfriend so that he can get back together

00:59:58.780 --> 01:00:03.679
with Mary. That's not what happens. Danny instead

01:00:03.679 --> 01:00:06.920
goes to the hotel where Jared is at because he

01:00:06.920 --> 01:00:10.219
just knows where Jared's at. And Jared is getting

01:00:10.219 --> 01:00:14.179
spanked on the bottom with a stripper crossing

01:00:14.179 --> 01:00:19.300
guard. Oh my. It's a stop sign too that she's

01:00:19.300 --> 01:00:21.679
spanking him. Alright, that's kind of funny.

01:00:22.279 --> 01:00:24.639
I actually thought that was pretty funny. But

01:00:24.639 --> 01:00:26.179
of course, he's wearing green boxers because,

01:00:26.300 --> 01:00:29.460
you know, Irish. He's also handcuffed to the

01:00:29.460 --> 01:00:34.940
bed because why not? Sure. Danny holds him at

01:00:34.940 --> 01:00:36.639
gunpoint. And it's just like, you're going to

01:00:36.639 --> 01:00:38.320
let me out of this so I can marry the woman I

01:00:38.320 --> 01:00:39.900
love because you're screwing up my love life.

01:00:40.619 --> 01:00:42.619
And Jared's just like, pull the trigger, you

01:00:42.619 --> 01:00:45.599
fucking pussy. He doesn't say those exact words,

01:00:45.719 --> 01:00:48.480
but it's Craig Ferguson. And like, he just didn't

01:00:48.480 --> 01:00:52.679
care. Yeah, he didn't care in this movie. uh

01:00:52.679 --> 01:00:55.599
he can't shoot him and jared goes i always knew

01:00:55.599 --> 01:00:57.579
you're soft knew you were yellow everything like

01:00:57.579 --> 01:01:00.980
that danny pistol whips him and knocks him out

01:01:00.980 --> 01:01:04.719
he takes the tickets to rome and the engagement

01:01:04.719 --> 01:01:06.860
ring because jared just so happened to have that

01:01:06.860 --> 01:01:12.800
with him and goes to the talent show because

01:01:12.800 --> 01:01:14.639
that's where he's going to sing win the record

01:01:14.639 --> 01:01:19.079
deal and propose to colleen mind you this is

01:01:19.079 --> 01:01:21.159
still probably like seven days after dick is

01:01:21.159 --> 01:01:26.679
dead but you know love works fast yeah the cops

01:01:26.679 --> 01:01:30.960
show back up at colleen's house she thinks that

01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:33.179
danny has turned her in for killing these people

01:01:33.179 --> 01:01:36.599
and she's like oh fuck you guys like you know

01:01:36.599 --> 01:01:41.059
the cops are like no like dick had a gun it was

01:01:41.059 --> 01:01:45.079
used in two shootings one of the shootings was

01:01:45.079 --> 01:01:49.900
for dick who we found and the other was for david

01:01:49.900 --> 01:01:53.719
cross Because apparently when he tried to get

01:01:53.719 --> 01:01:55.460
rid of the gun, he accidentally set it off and

01:01:55.460 --> 01:01:59.659
it shot him in the ass and he died. Damn. What

01:01:59.659 --> 01:02:04.000
a way to go. You know how we saw that? In a flashback!

01:02:04.380 --> 01:02:10.639
Oh, they're back! You thought I was done. I did.

01:02:10.659 --> 01:02:12.519
There was another flashback at this time, yes.

01:02:15.539 --> 01:02:18.630
Finished drawing in this flashback. where dick

01:02:18.630 --> 01:02:20.849
admitted to the cops that he was only planning

01:02:20.849 --> 01:02:23.969
on getting engaged to her because she's about

01:02:23.969 --> 01:02:27.090
to become loaded because her dad created something

01:02:27.090 --> 01:02:29.590
i don't remember what it was because i was too

01:02:29.590 --> 01:02:32.989
far gone at this point yeah apparently when her

01:02:32.989 --> 01:02:34.869
dad dies she's going to come into a ton of money

01:02:34.869 --> 01:02:39.389
and i don't know she's going to be rich so that's

01:02:39.389 --> 01:02:42.710
why he wanted to marry her so the bags were for

01:02:42.710 --> 01:02:45.699
them to go to rome after they got engaged And

01:02:45.699 --> 01:02:48.000
he was playing the song for her leaving on a

01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:50.360
jet plane, even though that's a sad song and

01:02:50.360 --> 01:02:52.820
also made it seem like he was leaving with the

01:02:52.820 --> 01:02:54.980
crossing guard, the sirens of the school system.

01:02:55.159 --> 01:02:57.179
The sirens of the school system. Yes, that's

01:02:57.179 --> 01:03:03.019
indeed correct. They asked to go to the basement

01:03:03.019 --> 01:03:08.059
because they think that's where Dick was. I don't

01:03:08.059 --> 01:03:09.659
know how they got this information because Danny

01:03:09.659 --> 01:03:12.199
never turned her in. So somehow, some way they

01:03:12.199 --> 01:03:14.860
got this information. They go in there and they

01:03:14.860 --> 01:03:18.059
see like a bullet hole in the guitar. And they

01:03:18.059 --> 01:03:20.179
also see blood on the other side of the guitar.

01:03:20.300 --> 01:03:22.599
And they're like, well, obviously he was shot.

01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:25.440
And she goes, oh, is that the kettle burning?

01:03:25.739 --> 01:03:28.539
And runs upstairs and locks them in the basement.

01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:33.340
And I literally said, are the cops doing a bit?

01:03:33.760 --> 01:03:36.000
Like they just got locked in knowing that she's

01:03:36.000 --> 01:03:38.559
the killer. Are they just doing a bit? Like they're

01:03:38.559 --> 01:03:42.489
just a bit part? I don't know. Colleen goes into

01:03:42.489 --> 01:03:45.250
the drawer of guns to get a gun to shoot Danny

01:03:45.250 --> 01:03:49.250
because she still thinks he turned her in. He's

01:03:49.250 --> 01:03:51.210
going to shoot her or shoot him at the talent

01:03:51.210 --> 01:03:54.329
show. Jared wakes up and gets out of the handcuffs.

01:03:54.590 --> 01:03:58.409
So they and also the cops get out of the basement.

01:03:59.969 --> 01:04:02.230
We get to the talent show and the talent show

01:04:02.230 --> 01:04:07.809
host is John Henson. OK, who's John Henson? I

01:04:07.809 --> 01:04:11.059
don't know. I have no idea. The goofy host on

01:04:11.059 --> 01:04:15.000
Wipeout. What? The TV show Wipeout. He's the

01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:19.760
MC of the talent show. Okay. Sure. Basically,

01:04:19.940 --> 01:04:22.900
I don't know why. It goes through some bands

01:04:22.900 --> 01:04:26.639
and then it's Danny's turn. Colleen gets there

01:04:26.639 --> 01:04:28.360
with the gun and is sitting backstage waiting

01:04:28.360 --> 01:04:30.719
for him to come back so she can rub him out.

01:04:31.559 --> 01:04:34.400
The cops also get there and they're sitting in

01:04:34.400 --> 01:04:37.909
the crowd just waiting until he gets done. Or

01:04:37.909 --> 01:04:42.250
to find Colleen so they can arrest her. Danny

01:04:42.250 --> 01:04:44.809
starts singing Danny Boy. Because of course he

01:04:44.809 --> 01:04:47.369
does. Of course he does. And it's Harry Connick

01:04:47.369 --> 01:04:49.630
Jr. and they're just singing. And I'm just like,

01:04:49.670 --> 01:04:51.750
everyone's going to change their mind from killing

01:04:51.750 --> 01:04:53.710
or arresting him because he sang good, didn't

01:04:53.710 --> 01:04:57.809
they? Pretty much that's what happens. Except

01:04:57.809 --> 01:05:00.909
for Jared comes. And Jared's like, I'm going

01:05:00.909 --> 01:05:06.300
to shoot you. And Colleen shoots Jared. Because

01:05:06.300 --> 01:05:10.239
she wants to be the one that shoots Danny. Okay.

01:05:10.539 --> 01:05:17.400
The cops arrest Jared. She goes to Danny and

01:05:17.400 --> 01:05:20.179
like puts the gun in his face. And he's just

01:05:20.179 --> 01:05:22.679
like, this is what happened. Like, I love you.

01:05:22.719 --> 01:05:25.820
I want to get married. And she's like holding

01:05:25.820 --> 01:05:29.559
this gun going, should I kill you or marry you?

01:05:31.400 --> 01:05:34.360
And of course she drops the gun. She agrees.

01:05:35.019 --> 01:05:38.380
to marry him i just find it funny because she

01:05:38.380 --> 01:05:41.840
found out that the ring was from dick yet he

01:05:41.840 --> 01:05:46.019
still just reused the ring to propose a week

01:05:46.019 --> 01:05:49.219
later after he's dead uh danny of course wins

01:05:49.219 --> 01:05:51.699
the talent contest he gets the record deal and

01:05:51.699 --> 01:05:54.739
they can drive off into the sunset where basically

01:05:54.739 --> 01:05:58.079
he says you're good at this killing thing we

01:05:58.079 --> 01:05:59.900
should figure out something to work this into

01:05:59.900 --> 01:06:02.320
and she's like what about extortion what about

01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:05.980
this what about that and He's just like, no,

01:06:06.219 --> 01:06:08.920
no, we can't kill people. We can't do this. No.

01:06:09.840 --> 01:06:12.780
Okay. That's the end of the movie. The cops didn't

01:06:12.780 --> 01:06:15.199
arrest her. She got away scot -free for killing

01:06:15.199 --> 01:06:17.659
Dick and David Cross because they still don't

01:06:17.659 --> 01:06:20.719
have proof that he didn't die through this. Right.

01:06:20.860 --> 01:06:24.920
Okay. Makes sense -ish. The cops also knew about

01:06:24.920 --> 01:06:27.099
the dead bodies because David Kochner was saying

01:06:27.099 --> 01:06:31.079
that there was 42 dead bodies in his trash because

01:06:31.079 --> 01:06:33.900
a Jehovah's Witness told him that Jesus was coming.

01:06:36.960 --> 01:06:40.500
okay uh danny never got his comeuppance and also

01:06:40.500 --> 01:06:43.360
got the girl and also married a girl that killed

01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:48.099
her ex -boyfriend and and did he get a record

01:06:48.099 --> 01:06:50.760
deal he got a record deal we didn't see what

01:06:50.760 --> 01:06:53.820
it became but he sang the credits because that's

01:06:53.820 --> 01:06:58.559
harry connick jr yeah can i read you a uh title

01:06:58.559 --> 01:07:01.360
of a review on imdb for this of course you can

01:07:01.360 --> 01:07:05.599
2002 i would be insulted if you didn't a clever

01:07:05.599 --> 01:07:09.699
mix of slapstick comedy and romantic whodunit

01:07:09.699 --> 01:07:15.460
a clever life without dick is a wild love story

01:07:15.460 --> 01:07:18.400
murder mystery that has layers of interesting

01:07:18.400 --> 01:07:20.900
characters and plot twists i can't tell if this

01:07:20.900 --> 01:07:24.559
is you know satire or seriousness the casting

01:07:24.559 --> 01:07:27.059
is incredible sarah jessica parker is sexy and

01:07:27.059 --> 01:07:30.059
funny harry cornyn jr has the triple is the triple

01:07:30.059 --> 01:07:33.639
threat ever since i saw him ever since he saw

01:07:33.639 --> 01:07:36.920
they saw him in jodie foster's little man I've

01:07:36.920 --> 01:07:38.960
considered him one of Hollywood's untapped talents.

01:07:39.260 --> 01:07:42.559
He's handsome, funny, and he can sing. And looks

01:07:42.559 --> 01:07:48.199
like a foot. Yeah. Somebody else wrote, I actually

01:07:48.199 --> 01:07:53.659
liked this. Who? Wow, okay. Lightning Sparrow

01:07:53.659 --> 01:07:56.880
in 2006. Well, where does this rank amongst the

01:07:56.880 --> 01:08:01.960
Hall of Bad Movie? Where does this rank amongst

01:08:01.960 --> 01:08:04.139
the movies you've watched for this? Yeah, that's

01:08:04.139 --> 01:08:10.659
a great question. So, finish your drinks. This

01:08:10.659 --> 01:08:15.599
has knocked off yoga hosers. Wow! The day has

01:08:15.599 --> 01:08:19.180
come. That bad? I'm going to be honest with you.

01:08:19.260 --> 01:08:21.960
Were you describing it? That's a shocker to me.

01:08:22.579 --> 01:08:26.859
It sounded bad, but wow. It sounded like it was

01:08:26.859 --> 01:08:30.649
all over the place. It was! The only thing I'll

01:08:30.649 --> 01:08:33.090
give it credit for is that it kind of tied everything

01:08:33.090 --> 01:08:35.289
together because everybody was kind of related

01:08:35.289 --> 01:08:39.170
to each other. But it was so far -fetched relations

01:08:39.170 --> 01:08:43.829
that – It sounds like the payoffs weren't really

01:08:43.829 --> 01:08:46.090
worth it, right? It wasn't. It wasn't. We never

01:08:46.090 --> 01:08:49.770
earned those payoffs. Never. Never. And so I

01:08:49.770 --> 01:08:53.529
just – I was so pissed off after I had watched

01:08:53.529 --> 01:08:57.989
that movie going – I want my life back after

01:08:57.989 --> 01:09:00.850
that. I want your life back. Right, right. Yoga

01:09:00.850 --> 01:09:04.189
hosers. Okay. The reason I say it was always

01:09:04.189 --> 01:09:06.989
at the bottom was it was just mean spirited.

01:09:07.310 --> 01:09:11.149
Okay. At least tried to tell a sensible story,

01:09:11.310 --> 01:09:14.329
even though it was Nazi sausages and stuff like

01:09:14.329 --> 01:09:17.390
that. They at least in this world created a story

01:09:17.390 --> 01:09:21.770
that made sense from A to Z. this was we went

01:09:21.770 --> 01:09:27.590
to a to seven to q to f 23 to you know it made

01:09:27.590 --> 01:09:31.010
no fucking sense right okay it made no sense

01:09:31.010 --> 01:09:34.289
it is a zero it's not a mitchell zero it is a

01:09:34.289 --> 01:09:39.609
zero wow damn in the dirt zero in the dirt zero

01:09:39.609 --> 01:09:44.989
it you have uh you have earned no points and

01:09:44.989 --> 01:09:49.329
may god have mercy on your soul like that bad

01:09:49.819 --> 01:09:52.539
The fact that the pedigree of the actors is the

01:09:52.539 --> 01:09:55.699
bigger, the reason why I watch this is because

01:09:55.699 --> 01:09:58.880
when I see something bad and I see three names

01:09:58.880 --> 01:10:01.859
that I'm like, oh, I know those names. I'm going

01:10:01.859 --> 01:10:03.560
to watch that. That's what I'm probably going

01:10:03.560 --> 01:10:06.020
to try to watch. Right. Because I think it's

01:10:06.020 --> 01:10:08.659
more shocking when you get a bad movie that has

01:10:08.659 --> 01:10:10.500
these people and you kind of think to yourself,

01:10:10.699 --> 01:10:16.100
how? How did this go so wrong? There's no reason

01:10:16.100 --> 01:10:19.619
why. Johnny Knoxville and Sarah Jessica Parker

01:10:19.619 --> 01:10:22.000
couldn't do a better movie Harry Connick Jr.

01:10:22.199 --> 01:10:25.020
is not really an actor but he could have at least

01:10:25.020 --> 01:10:27.520
held his own in a better movie I mean it seems

01:10:27.520 --> 01:10:29.680
like he just didn't have good no one had good

01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:31.939
materials no one had good materials and usually

01:10:31.939 --> 01:10:34.920
the caliber of star could rise that material

01:10:34.920 --> 01:10:40.300
to at least be acceptable acceptable funny I

01:10:40.300 --> 01:10:42.399
could have laughed a little more you know like

01:10:43.210 --> 01:10:46.369
but the only joke i laughed at probably was the

01:10:46.369 --> 01:10:48.489
sirens of the school system because i thought

01:10:48.489 --> 01:10:51.729
that was that was like the one genius line and

01:10:51.729 --> 01:10:54.810
then everything else was just kind of like what

01:10:54.810 --> 01:10:57.329
are these people's motivations what the fuck

01:10:57.329 --> 01:11:00.489
are they doing why are they doing this it's a

01:11:00.489 --> 01:11:05.390
love story in seven days which fine i get it

01:11:05.390 --> 01:11:09.529
there's plenty of movies where the heroin falls

01:11:09.529 --> 01:11:11.529
in love with the hero because they save the day

01:11:11.529 --> 01:11:13.689
and everything like that fine i get it that's

01:11:13.689 --> 01:11:19.069
a hollywood trope this didn't earn it it didn't

01:11:19.069 --> 01:11:22.170
it was two people that were just horny for each

01:11:22.170 --> 01:11:24.789
other especially because sarah jessica parker's

01:11:24.789 --> 01:11:28.890
tits were bouncing around a lot cool they had

01:11:28.890 --> 01:11:31.289
like she had low -cut shirts the entire time

01:11:31.289 --> 01:11:35.369
and they were just kind of like going and i don't

01:11:35.369 --> 01:11:38.260
know I'll agree with that one review in saying

01:11:38.260 --> 01:11:41.020
that she was sexy in this because she did look

01:11:41.020 --> 01:11:43.020
good in this, but I think that was part of the

01:11:43.020 --> 01:11:48.380
plan. Sure. It's just Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeah.

01:11:48.420 --> 01:11:50.520
I mean, she's an attractive human being. I get

01:11:50.520 --> 01:11:54.800
it. And truthfully, we've all seen Hocus Pocus.

01:11:54.899 --> 01:11:58.159
We all know this. Yeah. Yeah. We get turned on

01:11:58.159 --> 01:12:02.619
at Hocus Pocus. Right. I'd be here, broomstick.

01:12:03.920 --> 01:12:05.760
I'm your bus driver, you know what I'm saying?

01:12:06.439 --> 01:12:12.500
Bubble, bubble. Yeah, grab that handle. Okay,

01:12:12.560 --> 01:12:16.000
we're devolving. We're very much devolving. We

01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:18.640
need to finish this because I'm sick of talking

01:12:18.640 --> 01:12:20.939
about this movie. It is a zero out of five. It

01:12:20.939 --> 01:12:24.180
is zero out of five. I'm sorry to hear that.

01:12:24.220 --> 01:12:26.180
I'm sorry you took the psychic damage to watch

01:12:26.180 --> 01:12:28.260
this movie because it does seem like a real stinker.

01:12:28.560 --> 01:12:31.479
Talk about the alcoholic psychic. That was also

01:12:31.479 --> 01:12:33.539
played off for laughs. They said, oh, my alcoholic

01:12:33.539 --> 01:12:36.819
psychic. She like just tossed back a beer or

01:12:36.819 --> 01:12:41.239
like a drink and then goes, your boyfriend, Aaron.

01:12:41.859 --> 01:12:45.520
And she's like, dick. Yes, dick with the sexy

01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:49.720
crossing guard. And like they only played the

01:12:49.720 --> 01:12:53.140
alcoholic part for a joke. I don't know, man.

01:12:53.340 --> 01:12:56.020
They deserve none of their punchlines. They deserve

01:12:56.020 --> 01:12:57.920
no points and may God have mercy on their soul.

01:12:58.079 --> 01:13:00.579
That's the perfect way to describe it. Let this

01:13:00.579 --> 01:13:05.000
movie rot in 2002. Yep, exactly. Straight to

01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:08.859
Demony for a reason. So it's on Tubi if you want

01:13:08.859 --> 01:13:13.359
to watch it. Thank you for your kind services,

01:13:13.460 --> 01:13:16.260
but I think I will be okay. There's more coming,

01:13:16.359 --> 01:13:19.960
trust me. I have a lot planned up here. Ooh,

01:13:19.960 --> 01:13:24.939
boy. Oh yeah. Get ready. They'll do it for this

01:13:24.939 --> 01:13:26.760
episode of game for a movie where we ask, are

01:13:26.760 --> 01:13:28.520
you game for a movie? I've been your host, Mike

01:13:28.520 --> 01:13:33.500
joined by Jill Andre to see you guys. We'll see

01:13:33.500 --> 01:13:36.640
you next time for game for a movie. Thanks for

01:13:36.640 --> 01:13:37.020
listening guys.